Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Welcome!
We've been in like sync the past couple days. Like I noticed there was a couple moments where like you and I said the exact same thing at the exact same time. Even like the pauses and everything. And we were sitting on the couch and literally no one noticed it. And I was like, I wonder if that's just me being invisible to the rest of them and just hearing you. Or if it's just they're so used to it that it doesn't even phase them anymore that we're so in sync.
I think it's also because when everybody was here, it was like 13 people in the living room. Yeah. And it's easy for me to steal the show because my big boobs. Like when I walk in the room, they usually, they like perk up a little bit like magnets and they start like connecting. It's really, really crazy. It's like cybernetic almost. It's like cyborg. Looking at you, I just realized I had a dream where we got into a huge fight and it was like gnarly. And it was like, but it was like,
we like barked at each other like pretty crazy and then walked away and orion was here and she came up to me and she was like like oh my god and i was like it'll leave it alone and i was just like that's literally how it is i was like it'll just we'll talk to each other later whatever well so my family back in texas they found a photo box that we haven't gone through in probably 15 years we all thought it got thrown away um
And there were a few photos of me as an infant in there that I haven't seen yet. And I know I've already showed you infant photos of me, but this one...
especially awful and terrible and disgusting and nasty and I it genuinely convinced me even further that I was switched at birth because this isn't me like this is a baby that was born and then three minutes later I came into the picture because this does not look like me at all I think I've already showed you but um no this was really fucked up
I switched at birth and it's this. Oh my God. Yeah. My skin is like patchy. You kind of look like you lived through Chernobyl. No, I look like the cover of Come and See. Insert that picture for the girls that haven't seen it. So why is your mouth like that? I don't know. You look like swollen. Where are my freckles? You look like your mom put a hot pan on your face. I know. I look like a burn victim. Sorry. I look like a burn victim. Yeah.
It's crazy. It looks like your mom was really into sleeping with the blow dryer next to her and then you rolled over. Well, that's literally my dad. Wait, let me see it again. Whoa. Yeah, you look like a little piece of beef jerky. Yeah, you look really gross. Face card decline. Yeah, you said that. That made me crack up. I was like saying that about an infant is so funny. Like the face card literally declined. That's good. But yeah, I was switched at birth. It's a pain.
It's always been like a theory of mine and Madeline's that like, okay, we don't look like either of our parents. Like, sure, there's some similar futures, but like, it's not enough to convince me that they are fully my parents. Like, I love them like my parents enough when I find out that they aren't my parents.
genetic parents or whatever the fuck, biological parents, I will still love them the same because they raised me to be the person I am, but I'm convinced that they're not my parents. I think you look like your mom, but also...
Nah, I think you look like your mom. Maybe not your dad. Your dad was pretty random. Yeah, he's random. He's super random, Corey. He was like generated. Maybe my mom cheated on my father. Yeah, and you just have a different dad. Well, Madeline looks like my dad. Like, that's the thing. Yeah. Madeline has my dad's nose. I have my mom's nose, but...
Where are the freckles? Let's talk about it. Where are the moles? Does your mom have freckles? No, I mean... Oh. Where are the moles? Well, you just have skin cancer, so... Yeah, I forgot about that. Those grow. Those grow over time. You're just lucky. You're one of the lucky ones. I forgot about that. Well, I don't think I look like my parents, but then sometimes I see... I looked... When I was...
14, I looked exactly like my dad when he was 14. Because we had the same facial structure, and I don't know why. But I looked like my dad did from 14 to 20 when I was 14 to 16 or 17. And then maybe I started looking a little more like my mom. But I don't feel like I look like my mom. I feel like I look more like my dad. Like I share more features with him. But I don't know. Woof.
something is seriously y'all were ugly ass fucking babies dude you were disgusting like i look like i'm melting but you know this also like confirmed for me that like my lopsided face which i'm so insecure about so if any one of y'all comment that about my lopsided face it goes straight to my heart like a fucking dagger and i die and i want to die um
Isn't from like sleeping on the side of my body. It's from like the womb in the way my face form like No, you don't have a lopsided face. Yes, I do. Look at that. No, it's the angle You're just like crumbly. Like why are you grumbling? No, even oh look at me. Oh hell no, bitch Wait, what the fuck? I know we had serious blood flow issues like something was seriously wrong Like it's really off. Dude, what?
it's crazy because it's not like y'all like whoa she was fully missing pigment and like so much of her body i mean it is like we did share a womb for 12 months or nine months does that happen to twins because i've seen cute twin photos i don't i mean we got cute like look they sent me a photo where we eventually like got cute but this is just another lopsided photo of my face um
But we eventually got cute. You do look like you're melting. Yeah, it's really, really jarring. You know what's awesome is your mom thought y'all were beautiful, so it doesn't matter. I know. That's the only thing that matters is my mom. I'm really bad with that. Like, I won't, like, I would never go up to somebody's baby and be like, you have an ugly baby until they're grown up and maybe, like, not so ugly, because then you could, like, call a
baby photo of someone you love ugly because they're not ugly anymore. If you can't fix it in five seconds, don't say it. But I won't be calling your baby beautiful if you have an ugly baby. Like I've met babies that I find really repulsive and nasty. I'm just like, I'm like, oh, oh my God, she's, you have a baby. Wow.
You did that. That's what I said. I said, oh, you... Oh, you ate. You stopped. Sis, the face color is not good for me. Um...
Well, I've been, I don't know if this is a universal experience for everyone else, but I've been on Irish Chinese food TikTok. And it's the craziest, most diabolical. Can you show that to me? Because is it just Chinese food or did they like do something like different? Oh, it's not. Like I know like Americans aren't, probably aren't doing Chinese food, right? But.
But they are 100%, 100% doing it wrong because, like, they, like...
It's like gray matter. It's like fucking brain matter in gray. And like they pile it all onto a plate and then pour like disgusting curry gravy and sweet and sour sauce all over it and make it into this like literal mound of like rice. And apparently like there's no seasoning on it because they're all fucking white. And so they have to like adapt to them to sell. Like it's sad, but like there's no seasoning. There's it's gray food. It's like a pile. If they got some Red 40 in there, you would look at it
a little bit. Oh, bitch, I would eat the fuck out of it. I mean, there is some Reds 40 and that's the only thing that I thought might be good. But they also say
I got a Chinese. Like, they captured someone. Like, they're always like, I got a Chinese food. Like, that's how they say it when they introduce their fucking food. Does Ireland have, like, a language of its own? Or is it just English? Just weird-ass English? Celtic? Celtic? Girl, no, that's the skirts they wear. No, Celtic is the language. I thought Celtic was the language. A Celt is the skirt. I was making a joke. Oh, fuck.
That went over my head. Yeah, I'm just such a dumb girl. Y'all thought I was serious. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm looking for the Irish food TikTok. Well, my favorite memory of like the first... Because do y'all remember the first time you had certain foods or... No. I remember the first time I actually was able to eat Chuck E. Cheese. No, no. Cece's pizza. Yeah.
Well, I remember the first time I like saw somebody with like Chinese food and I really wanted it and it was in my daycare and I was friends with the daughters of the people who ran the daycare. Did anyone order a Chinese? Got a Chinese tonight. I've been craving a Chinese for so long and I thought we could dish it up together. Got two curries and a sweet and sour because I can't just have one sauce. And...
Egg fried rice. What is your go-to Chinese order? Okay, it's not looking too bad so far. Was that somebody eating her ass up? But look, they pile it all on the plate. Oh my fucking god. And then they pour everything all over it. It's really shocking. Put sweet and sour on first. Then curry sauce. Oh my god. I am so excited. And then some crispy seaweed. Oh my god.
is that seaweed and she called it cabbage why did she do that do they like prepare it like that they all prepare it like that every video i've seen on tick tock has been prepared like that
I could not survive in the UK. Okay, yeah, what in the world is seaweed cabbage? Yeah. Yeah, I was like, that's just seaweed. Yeah, also that meme where it's like, why do people in Europe still eat, like, their, like, Russian bomber spy planes, like, flying overhead, dropping bombs? Like, they're eating, like, their beans and toast and carrots. I will give it to the UK. Beans and toast is late. And I think I've said that before. Like...
But beans, like the English breakfast, that is a fire breakfast to me. Like to me, that's like maybe if it was black beans. Except for the one we got in New York. That was the most diabolical thing I've ever put in my body. It was rancid and horrific. But I can get with some beans and toast. Like I love refried beans on toast.
Try it. Don't knock it till you try it. It tastes actually so good. It's like dehydrated Nutella without the sweetness, but it's that kind of texture. What were you saying about the first food you tried or something? Oh, the first time I saw somebody eating Chinese food and I was like, damn, I really, really want that because my family wasn't like...
actually that's a lie we did have a spot that we always ordered from because my mom was obsessed yeah there was a chinese buffet we went to a lot but there was a spot we usually ordered from but the first time i actually saw and wanted it even though my family would eat it often was at daycare because i was friends with the daughters of the people who ran the daycare and during nap time the daughters like got up and left and i was like
where y'all going like where is everybody going and then I heard them talking to their mom and they like I heard bags and things coming out of bags I was like oh my god and then I started to smell the food and I was like fuck I really want food so then I acted like I woke up from a nap and I was like can I use the bathroom like I woke up and I was like can I use the bathroom and they were like okay yeah and I went and used the bathroom I was like I don't think I'm gonna be able to sleep again I'm so hungry
And then she was like, okay, fine. Do you want some food? I was like, yes, please, please. And then they gave me food. And then the daughter taught me that she, yeah, I got a Chinese. And then she, the daughter taught me that you, like she would put like duck sauce and soy sauce in her fried rice. And then I tried it. And I remember like, that was also the first time as a kid, like somebody showed me the way they would eat their favorite thing. And I was like, whoa, this changes everything. And I don't know why I wanted to say that.
I remember that. And her name was Jade, the girl who gave me... She was actually a set of twins and they were really cute. So what's your excuse? I'm white. Oh, yeah. That actually literally might be it. White babies are vile when they're born. Yeah.
Like, really? Look at any white baby. Infant baby. I was really cute. I don't believe that for a split second. Actually, I want to see you as a baby. Can you get a picture? I could find one right now. Yeah, I want to see it. Well, I decided that I never need to see a man's toes ever again. Like, seeing... Like, something about seeing a man's toes is so nasty and, like, fucking rancid. And I literally can't see it and be like, aw, this is, like...
Um, man's like legs, like even a man's legs. Like if there's a man who I've only seen in jeans and pants and the first time I see his legs, I'm literally so confused. Well, I don't want to see your feet either. That's funny because every time I have them out in the house, you take pictures and that's why I have to wear slippers in the house.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I do take pictures of your feet. And I don't think that's a problem because I'm just keeping tabs. And I tell you, you know, I tell you, I'm like, you need to get a pedicure soon. Like the freaks are going to like eat that up. Like seeing random people's feet like is horrifying. It's really like seeing like a penis. No, it is literally the equivalent. Also, men's toes are so nasty.
Like they are literally like, why are they like velociraptor? Like, yeah, it looks like men when they walk in their shoes. Like, it's like that. Like Twinkie men, like Twinkie feet are crazy. Skinny men's feet are really, really scary. Like, but it makes some meat on those bones. Literally. It's chicken claws. And it just like,
seeing like i hate like men's thigh hair because it's like so like why girl you need to get like i don't know what needs to happen but there needs to be conditioner and it needs to be like that's what i say to women too i'm like cut all your fucking hair off your nasty body all that i actually do think men should like cater to their leg hair because some men's leg hair i'm like whoa you have no business i'm proud of my leg no yours is pretty like yours isn't too crazy but there are some men
whose leg hair was really nasty i'm just honestly evening out the playing field like men should start have to take care of their feet because women are expected to but also women's feet in general are just prettier like men have nasty feet women have pretty feet and that's just the way god did it and it's because men were supposed to like dig their toes into the dirt so that they are like stable enough to like swing and grow their nails and women were supposed to have pretty feet to stand in the kitchen
So, like, that's just the way it was made. Oh, yeah. I actually agree with you on that one in that women should shave their bodies. Yeah. Oh. Period. What are you laughing at? Did you find a picture of yourself? Yeah, I found a couple. They're disgusting. Also, before we get to that, I want to say this before it leaves my brain, but when I clip my fingernails and toenails...
Like, there's something to it where, like, there's, like, epigenetic memories inside of my fingernails or some shit because, like, when I cut them... No, no, no, no, no, no, no. When I cut them, I feel 10% weaker. Like, I feel like there's something serious about nails. Like, they are made to climb trees and make you feel stronger. But I don't think human nails were ever strong enough to, like, give you grip like that. I know, but I'm just saying, like, there's something to it. Maybe in, like, the past, like, I memorized it. There's something.
There's like something to it. Well, I'm going to climb your tree tonight. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. All right. I want to see you, Kai. Okay. There's another one. Are you sending it to us? So we don't have to stand up? Yeah, I'll send it to you guys. So this is like a baby. Dude, the one of Drew is so crazy. Crazy lit. Okay. Okay.
So I think I was like six in that. Oh, um, Kai, that's just a picture of you in face up.
What? That's just you from Face Up. You're trying to convince me that you're six years old here? Bro, why did you take a picture of your whole thing and then you have eight million pictures of yourself down there? It's like one of those things where you change from a lizard to like a human being. What are those called? Also, you know what's crazy? This is a real one. This used to be technology that was literally only kept behind doors for like missing people. And now we just have it on our iPhone. Wait, is that iPhone?
actually you? Yeah. Aw, you were really cute. That's pretty cute. Look at your little nose. You look like a little girl. Aw, little sweet boy. That's a cute baby. Yeah, alright. Kai and Daddy. That's what they say about us. Kai and Daddy. I'm Daddy, hello. I'm actually so jealous of people who are as old as you and had video cameras as kids. VHS camera, it's like iconic. No, because you know what it is? It actually is crazy because I feel like
When we were growing up, digital cameras were like the new thing. Like in like the really early 2000s, people would switch. Like I have a bunch of pictures of us like as kids from film cameras. Like my family was a big disposable camera. They were like ahead of the fucking curve. No, they just thought it was cheaper to have a disposable camera instead of just buying a phone.
fucking film camera. they're just like trendsetters. Like, they like, they started using film cameras early on and like, now everybody wants to use a film camera. I know, everybody wants to be so my family created. Yeah, it's crazy. Like, us starting Kodak was like, a really big risk, but I'm really glad we did it. Because now we're like, so well off. I know, they're like rich and shit. Oh,
But, like, I feel like we were growing up, like, right when digital cameras were becoming accessible to families. They were still really expensive to have a digital camera. I saw this thing the other day that, like, one of those older TVs, like the box ones, was $2,000 when they first started rolling out, which is fucking insane. Oh, like the big screen ones? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like a 27-inch, like, fucking, like, box-ass TV, like the CRTVs.
We're like $2,000. But I looked it up and like digital cameras that now are like fucking 30 bucks. We're literally like $700. So it was still like a big feat to have one. But my family finally got one in like 2006. But then from then on, I don't even there's like this huge gap of photos because my family, I think was like so much more.
into using like film cameras than digital cameras so like the ones they got they never really used and there were only two tapes that I've found for my household and they were like for my family's work like my dad remodels homes and he had like before and after videos of like the homes he had done to show to clients but we like didn't have I have no videos of me talking before 14th
My brothers, they got like a mini DV camera for Christmas one year. And the only videos I have of me talking from that age are like me cussing because I thought it was hilarious and they would just make me cuss and then them beating the shit out of me. And then them forcing me and Madeline to do like jackass stunts and like rolling us down hills and shit in cars. And I'm going to ask them for that footage because...
They still have it all and that would be like really funny just to like... To watch. Yeah. I literally get like a pain of envy when I see videos of people when they were younger. But I feel like people who were born in like 96 and before usually are more likely to have like a plethora of videos because...
In the mid 90s is when it became also super accessible. Yeah, mid 90s by Seth Rogen Hill. By Seth. Is that the name of the movie? Mid 90s by Rogen Hill. By Rogen Hill. Yeah, you nailed that, Drew. Wait, is that actually the name of that movie? It's called Mid 90s, but Drew's schizophrenic and it was by Jonah Hill. No, Rogen Hill. You said Rogen Hill, right? Yes. Yeah, by Rogen Hill. Jonah Hill. I think you're the schizophrenic one. I know, yeah.
It's Rogan Hill. Oh, Roman Hill. Oh, no, it is Roman Hill. No, that's more wrong. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Because there's Roman Hill and then there's Seth Rogen. That's why we keep getting a mess. No, you guys are super wrong. Because Seth Rogen makes the weed stuff. Rogan Hill is the director. The mid-90s skateboarding content. There's literally no hope for you guys with this stuff. The craziest thing about Roman Hill was he was a YouTuber, a skateboarder YouTuber, and he also had cameras. Yeah. Yeah.
And he always liked them so much that he was like, this should be my job. Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. But it became like a... I think it was more common for people to have it. Also, if you had older siblings. Like, all my homies with, like, a big age gap between their other siblings usually have videos of themselves because they had, like, some...
who was like a teenager when they were young. Yeah, that's true. Who got the family camera and was like bored and was like, I'm gonna fucking film people. My younger, I mean, my older brothers and sisters, they all have like an insane amount of footage of them when they were a kid and an insane amount of photos. And then when it got to me and Madeline, they were just like,
okay, like, what are we gonna do with these photos? I mean, we know why. They didn't want to take photos. My father loved me, I swear. I wouldn't want photo documentation of y'all until you got, like, normal looking. Yeah, no, for sure. These two old jelly beans. I was a really cute baby. These crispy jelly beans. I was a cute baby. There's an old video of me as a baby and, like...
My dad comes into the kitchen and I'm sitting on the counter and I'm covered in peanut butter. And I'm like, ah, it's really cute. That's not you. There's no way. The viral peanut butter baby is you?
That would make sense because you're like, what, 50 now? That's actually fucking amazing. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, I guess I just never told you guys that. Yeah, it'd be cool if you like were able to monetize that. But now you're just like 50 and you're like 50. It's weird. He's 48. Okay. Yeah. I just round up with people's age.
Well, I'm going to transition the conversation. Okay. And I'm going to say some things out loud, and I want to get your reaction. I really have to poop. Bindaroos. Is that a candy or something? That's like, I know what that is. Yeah. Zoo books. Yeah. Slushy magic.
Is that that thing that you squished? That you fucked, yeah. It was the first pocket pussy I ever had. Like, it was lit. Whoa. I lost my virginity to the slushy magic. I guess that's a really good one because you can do it however fits your means. And you probably still use it, but you have to squish it like this. No, that shit was like rotten. This small, maybe? No, that shit got rotten quick. Which is like...
I had to throw that out. You know what I was thinking? I was like, what if I just one episode had my vibrator hanging here and charging? And buzzing. But yeah, I just wanted to... But Binderoo's are like a... These are all like TV ads of toys that are iconic. Yeah, I remember. Something about it is purple, but... Binderoo's? Yeah. No, they're like the little... They're almost like pipe cleaners, but they're made out of wax and metal, and you can form them. Oh, I'm thinking...
There was like a kangaroo, like a cereal with a kangaroo as the mascot. This is Bendaroo. Actually, I've never seen that in my life. Whoa. Really? I've never seen you in my life. Yeah, Bendaroos were the shit. I'm thinking of Quangaroos. I've never heard of that either. Where is this from? But yeah, Bendaroos.
lost my virginity to a slushy magic we'll insert a photo of all three of those when they go down or when i say them when it goes down for real this guy oh dunkaroos dunkaroos that is what i'm thinking of dunkaroos um okay well let's transition the conversation again um and
And talk about the absolute chokehold Sanrio has on the girls. It's crazy.
You know what's awesome is Sanrio was just a small gift shop that was originally selling a lot of Snoopy stuff. So it was like a small gift shop that this man had owned. And then he... I think he started licensing out Snoopy products because... Getting licenses to make Snoopy products because he realized after having a few Snoopy items in the store that those were flying off the shelf. And then he was just for a while...
getting licenses from the Snoopy, like whoever owns Snoopy to make a few products. But then after a while of him becoming like a store that people would come for Snoopy stuff, he was just like, dude, I need to make my own character because I could be like,
like creating a whole new franchise instead of just like giving money to this franchise and then they made Hello Kitty and also uh when they made the Hello Kitty cartoon he was so against um Hello Kitty having a mouth and that was like a big issue that he was like she shouldn't have a mouth she's never had a mouth why would she have a mouth and then she would argue because yeah it seems like oh my god well I didn't even think about it like that there's like a meaning behind that yeah yeah did you know that Hello Kitty is from London
London Bridge. Yeah. Because young Japanese girls were really infatuated in that time with London. And they were all like, we really want to go to London. That's the spot. When was it made? What year is it? In like 70. Actually, maybe even before. Hello Kitty is actually old as bone. Yeah, London was like the it town for a while. And then it became New York and Paris. And now it's LA because we're here. Oh, no. 1974. 1974.
Oh my god, she's like 50. She's fucking haggard-y. She's gotta quit it. Damn, she doesn't age at all. You gotta start. I'm not 50. This was the first thing they made was this... They made like a little pocket book. A pocket what? A little coin pocket thing. Oh, okay. A little coin pouch. Wait, what were you insinuating? I know. What were you trying to say? A pocket...
Pussy? I don't say that word. I would never say that word. I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I can't believe I miss reading ads. I miss the taste.
Can I use you like a pocket ussy? Someone told me that saying ussy is worse than saying pussy, but I don't think that. No, the P word is literally scary. I love saying ussy. That's my new thing is saying ussy instead of pussy. Because pussy is a lot. My new thing is saying the house. Like, I'll just say like, oh, that camera is the house or like Hello Kitty, the house. What does that mean though?
It's just something me and my friends made up and that we, like, say to each other. Oh, okay. But, like, can you... Oh, that headband is the house. No, no, no. It's not referring to the house, like, in the house. It's just the house. Okay. I'll try to implement that, but it seems a bit confusing and hard to get a hold of. Yeah. I mean, we did make it up. Me and my friends made it up. Can I try? Mm-hmm. My penis is the house. Yeah, that works. Okay.
He's having so sincere. This is the most sun that's ever come into this room while we've ever been filming. It's only on you. I know. Wait, why am I Mr. Brightside looking? Like I literally am Mr. Brightside. Mr. Brightside.
yeah um okay well let's transition again because i have so many notes you need to stop saying less transition you can just start a new sentence what why is that bad why is that bad no leave it all there why is this bad no because it's fucking weird in a conversation imagine we were just talking and i'm like all right so let's transition to the next topic like saying that conversation is so unnatural it's
Every time you said it, it would snap me out of reality. I know, it literally makes it feel like we're following, I don't know, it makes me scared, you saying that. Well, okay. I'm actively trying to beat the Drew print allegations, and it's really hard for me. Drew?
It's really hard for me, actually, because I don't want to be the Drew print, but like it just is forced onto me. Well, it's because like it's hard to look at you and not want to be you because you're so gorgeous. But are you naturally gorgeous or have you had work done?
Absolutely not. Oh, you say like there's something wrong with getting work done. There's nothing wrong with that. I would never get shit pushed into my face, man. That shit's bullshit. I mean, more power is you if you get it done. Like, I'm happy for you. You sound really condescending about it, though. Drew print? Is that like when it presses up against the sweatpants? The gray sweatpants challenge?
You don't say that enough. Like, I miss that in the house. No, the thing is, is I'm not off this transition to conversation because, like, I'm making this fucking conversation flow by saying that because it would just be silent if I wasn't bringing these hot suits in here. It would be silent. It would be silent.
Not just sharing the topics, but just, like, a normal conversation saying, all right, so let's transition. Well, this isn't a normal conversation. You've also never done that. You've never done that. So it's, like, so confusing for, to, like, hear you do that. No, this is bullshit. I'm being attacked for doing my job good. Well, since Drew has been sober, now in the friend group, he's the Drewber. So we don't have to call Uber. We have Drewber. Yeah, I, like, Uber them around. Yeah, and I made that up, and it was awesome when I did. And, like, everybody picked me up on a chair and, like...
Took me down the streets like a little parade. And then I got dropped off at home. Yeah. It's nice. And I. Oh, your parade is coming up. Wait, is that June? Yeah. Your parade's a month away.
wait what no your month the the whole month for you is coming up let's go are you gonna celebrate hispanic heritage month no you're you're not you are not oh they have a whole month for me that power like work that's not true that's not the one yeah that's not the one referencing it's you know you go into target and you know it's a special time we need a week for veterans right i swear to god like not even a month for this you're like
No, I swear, like, this is crazy. No, it's that special time of year when you walk into Target and you feel something is happening and it's because there's so many nice decorations for you. Pride merch month. That's what it is, right? Yeah, yeah. It's when all the companies get to get together and make more money than they've ever made all year. Yeah, it's really interesting, actually. Me and Drew decided we're going to drop pride merch.
Oh. Yeah. But as allies. Yeah. Emergency Intercom merch. And we're going to say we're going to donate it, but we're actually going to keep it. Super smart. Well, because we're making the merch for allies. So it's just going to say like,
I'm not gay, but I know some people who are. I'm not gay, but I kind of support the cause or whatever. I'm not gay, so don't ever mistake me for that in terms of my support. The lifestyle. But I'm okay with you guys. For now. Dude, one time I was with Drew and we ordered an Uber. He opened the app and he saw that the line was rainbow. Yeah.
And Drew said, I'm not getting in that car. I literally wasn't going to get in. This is crazy. I stopped using Uber that day. Yeah, because why did they do that? Well, you could have seen it like Rainbow Road from Mario Kart. What if it was just a Mario movie? Drew walked out of Mario movie when that scene came on. It's never that. Never that. Never that. Well, yeah, your month is coming. So we're going to do something special for you.
for drew yeah fuck i got something to say i like literally completely forget what if i literally got everybody to like bombard and harass you all month that would be fucked up no i would eat that up what are you talking about i would literally love that that's like my dream is to be any kind of attention yes like that's literally my favorite time of the year
Sometimes my scabs are like, like right here is a piece of skin where when I get like a cut or something, my body will make too much skin on top of a scab. And then sometimes randomly it starts itching. And I think it's literally my body like, that's a word to get rid of this. Oh,
At least it's not where it used to be, though, because I used to get a lot of warts. On your genitals. Yeah. And it would like honestly bother me because my underwear would scratch up against it. So it would just be bleeding all the time. So I felt like I had like a 24-7 period, but it was just my warts popping from my tight underwear. That does like suck.
Well, I'm entering my Karen arc. Oh, you start yelling at people? Yeah, like when people fuck up my order after an eight-hour shift and I go in 13 minutes before closing. Like, I am just the exact same customer that came in here when it was four hours before closing. Like, you better treat me with respect. That's what I'm saying. And I want fresh. I want fresh ingredients. Yeah, turn the fries back on. I don't give a fuck. Turn on the stove. Start back up the espresso machine. I actually do have a big peppy. Like, what am I paying you for?
You know, like what's the fucking point? I know, like I'm gonna start just leaving no tips. That's kind of my vibe. It's like that's not my duty. Like I don't need to give you a tip. Like, hello? I'm so with you on that. Yeah. I'm so with you on that. You might be ahead of me on that because you haven't tipped for what, five years now? Seven. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's a good streak. Seven. Seven years sober of tipping service workers. Yeah.
But me, I'm kidding, guys. I, like, tip so much. Sometimes I just tip 100%. Yeah, no, it's unironically, like, I over-tip because I feel so bad. I get really nervous. Like, I literally get so uncomfortable. Last night, last night...
I texted Enya at like 1 and I was like, I really have to do this. And I know this is disgusting, but I literally have to do this. And I ordered hot Cheetos. Oh, where are they? Did you fuck them up like that? No, they're in my bed. But I ordered hot Cheetos at 1 a.m.
and I felt so bad because the only stores that were open were the ones where you have to like go and collect it yourself like the Uber driver does and so I felt so bad so I like texted him like before he even or right after he accepted before he even got to Walgreens and I was like thank you so much and we had just like a nice conversation and I think Loki was a little flirty and I said leave it at the door and he made me come and get it from him at the door which I thought was like crazy um but also my picture on um
Uber Eats is of like the cutest little baby monkey ever. Let me show you. He's really cute. Oh, so he was flirting with an animal. So it's a guy who was into BCL. I know. But look at the little guy. Why does Uber let you use not a photo of yourself? It's kind of dangerous. How do they find you when you call an Uber? Uber.
But he... Just looking for a monkey with a suitcase. Hi, I'm looking for the cutest little monkey with a banjo. It felt... I felt so bad making him do that at 1 a.m. that I literally tipped him $14, which is fucking crazy for a bag of hot chips. So how was your $30 bag of hot chips? Was it worth it? No, because I literally laid in that bed eating them and I was like...
Am I getting COVID right now? Because I literally can't taste these. They were under seasoned. Like it was crazy. I want to try them. No. Okay. They're mine. Well, I hope you have COVID bitch. Sorry. My total was $14. I misspoke. I just wanted to set the record straight.
$7.23. Oh, that's how much you tipped? Mm-hmm. That's cool, I guess. Drew tips me way more than that. With my tip. Well, that's because if you're doing a sexual act, I would hope you're asking for more than $7. Kai, where's your self-respect? Yeah, I pay Kai to do me. Yeah.
That's a part of his job here. The contract. We put that in there. That's actually most of my job. Yeah. I mean, it is 70% of the work you do. But we got to keep this little guy happy so he keeps coming back. Yeah. It will be dangerous. It'll be dangerous. I was going to say something before you did all that and then I forgot. Oh, actually, I do have a fucking pet peeve with coffee shops. Hold on. Before I just spoke because it's a podcast. No.
Wow.
How is that any better than me saying, let's transition the conversation. No, I'm going to transition into the next topic. See, that's how my brain operates and works. Like, it works for me. Yeah, well, before you fucking killed my vibe. But I was going to say that I actually do have a pet peeve with coffee shops turning off their machines like 30 minutes before they close. Because at that point, you're not a fucking coffee shop, bitch. You're a water stand. Like, why are your doors still open? If I'm coming in and I'm asking for a latte 30 minutes before you close, and it's like...
we just turned off our machine 15 minutes ago. It's like, cool, then why are you still open? Literally just click the button and turn it back on. I'm being dead serious. It's that easy. I'm not kidding. That's also what I think. Sometimes they're like, we'll turn it on. It's not fucking 1930. It doesn't take 18 years for it to heat up. But I think it's because they have to clean the fuck out of the coffee machine so that they don't calcify and get all fucked up. Because even with the one I have, sometimes you have to go in there and really scrub it to work. Because you're supposed to keep it clean because...
Like that, like the little ones, the stove tops get so much calcium buildup in it. I don't know why. I don't know if it's like a chemical reaction from the coffee to the metal. I think it's the Lexapro that boils out of the tap water in LA. I wish it came out of the tap water. I'd be too lit. I've been having the fluoride stare a lot recently. I think you've always had that kind of...
Also, I did like a looks maxing deep dive. A what? Which it's crazy that that became mainstream. What does that technically mean? Is that just like doing everything to make you look the best? Yeah, exactly. Like bone smashing and like all that shit. Really? Like mewing? Yeah, mewing. Oh, cool. My shirt's been popped open this time. It will blur it. It's crazy that...
Look-smaxing and the idea of, like, bone-smashing and all this shit became mainstream in the last, like, month. What is bone-smashing? It's literally what it sounds like. It's, like, going in with, like, a hammer or an object to, like, smash your cheekbones and your forehead to, like, make it regrow and recalcify and become, like...
more prominent because like in these like communities and circles they think like having like sunken in cheeks and like better sharper jaw lines and broader foreheads and all that shit are like sexually attractive and it's like it's all the incels like it's all that's why people like love me so much because i have such a strong um jaw jawline yeah exactly that's what they always say about me they're like i wish i could look like you but sorry mine's all natural i just look like this
I hate to break it to you. Why are you looking at me? Well, you guys are doing a podcast and I'm the producer, so I'll just typically look at you guys while you talk. You're done. What? Isn't it crazy that when this comes out, I'll literally be about to get on a plane to go to Korea? Like, that's kind of crazy, huh? That is sick. That's what I say when I walk into your room because it stinks with your oyster candle.
Drew has a candle that I genuinely believe smells like an oyster, and I don't know why, but, like, the smell of it freaks me the fuck out. It smells like your clam. That's what I'm saying. That's literally what it smells like. It smells like I spread your little clam open, fucking rubbed it, and then rubbed the walls with the district. I literally love the way it smells, but that's because I, like, love gash and eating it and, like...
Slay and puss and shit. You shouldn't say that. Gosh. Is that what you're saying? Isn't that what they call it in Ireland? I have no idea. I literally have no idea. What's coolest for this episode, the only thing I wrote down was I'm not meant to see a man's toes. Like, that's the only thing I wrote down. I write down so much every single episode. Because I love my job. This smells...
I actually love the picture of the cat laying down between the girl's legs and she's big belly. When I posted that on my story, people were like, bitch, why are your toes out? I'm like, that is not me. Like this photo that's obviously from 2008. You think I just took that on my iPhone 14 and posted it to my story? Yeah, for real. Like what? That is literally weird chorus. Fuck. Well, I decided that...
Furries are not bad people and they're very misunderstood and that I am going to explore my furryism. Yeah, I'm going to explore it. Do people think that furries are bad or is it just that they're weird? I think it's that they're weird. And bad. There's like one bad apple story like where furries are like every once in a while one out of a million are like fucking creepy and like nasty and do weird bestiality shit and they think they're bad but like
Yeah. It is really fucking weird though. I'm sorry. Like it is weird. It really is. Do you guys remember that one husky that people were thirsty after on TikTok? Dude, yes.
That's the closest I've gotten to being a furry, I think. I think the... There's really cool suits. There's really... There's like this guy who makes crazy Five Nights at Freddy's suits. Like, they're actually fucking insane. And it's crazy that he's making them at his home because they look so fucking good. And I did have a point where I was super obsessed and I was like, damn, I really need to see this in real life. But he obviously lives in the middle of nowhere because nobody living in a major city...
is doing that kind of shit because like there's things to do outside like if you want to be a furry go back to Granbury it'll just happen naturally I feel yeah there's probably a community there anyways I feel like any like small town in the middle of America it's literally just like there's nothing else to do it's like fuck it I want to be a dog like fuck it I'm bored as fuck I'm about to be a cat like no not just this I saw this in the thumbnail
Also, I think I have to clarify, I don't actually want to be a fucking furry. I hope that just didn't go over everyone's head. I don't think anybody listening this far into an episode genuinely thinks you're going to be a furry because one, you don't leave the house. But I did leave the house yesterday. For what? To go get Chick-fil-A. I went to go get Chick-fil-A yesterday. It was like the first time I'd left the house on my own in like two days and I was like, whoo, like...
I'm going to get like, it was the first time in my life. I decided that I was going to get Chick-fil-A normally like Chick-fil-A like comes to me, like other people get it or like, I want Chick-fil-A. I've never actively been like, well, I'm going to go get Chick-fil-A. Um,
So I was like, oh, I'm going to go get it. Like, let's fucking go. And I drove all the way there and it was fucking closed because it was Sunday. Well, maybe that's what you get for even supporting something that's so against what's literally so innate to you. Yeah, I just like it's internalized at this point. Like, I really am. I just do not like it. But I did listen to IQ 84. Yeah, IQ 84. And there was another book I listened to.
You listened to the whole book on the way to... No, I got like an hour into one of them. Because I left like hella early and I just drove around. And then I got into a George Orwell book. I forget what it's called. 1984? Yes, it literally was 1984. Oh, really? Yeah, let me actually look. I've never listened to an audiobook in my life. I love audiobooks.
We just got to get you those books in your, what's the way for dyslexic people when it's like the... Bionic. Yeah, we just got to get you bionic books. Is there a company that makes bionic books? Because that would be lit. A billion dollar idea. Yeah. Oh, I listened to Norwegian Wood by Murakami at 184 Murakami in 1984 by Orwell. Not all the way through, but I was just getting bored of each of them. Yeah.
When you listen to audiobooks, do you also use your phone at the same time or do you just listen? I just kind of chill out. You sleep, you take your 18th nap of the day. Actually, I haven't been napping recently. That's good. I haven't been staying up super late, so I actually wake up at reasonable times. But I agree with my same ideology that someone like me who has full autonomy of what to do with my day shouldn't be waking up so early because there's literally nothing for me to do.
Like, I just don't need to be alive and awake and cognizant, like cognitive for that long in my day, because then it's like 5pm. And I'm actually freaking out because then by the time it gets like four or 5pm, I'm like, dude, I still have a whole day ahead of me. And then I like get this weird ramp of energy where I want to do a bunch of stuff, but the day is ending.
And it's like really confusing for my brain. And then I'm like, I need to do something. I need to do something. I need to do something. And then it's 9 p.m. and I like have like the adrenaline sweats because I didn't do anything. And I just like knock out because I tuck myself out from thinking about things I should have done with my day. Or you could wake up early and then nap.
of the day. You like to wake up at 6 a.m. and then take a nap at 11 a.m. and wake up at 1. It's lit. Also, Josiah pointed out I don't nap on the couch anymore. And I don't know if y'all remember, but I accused that couch of having like hella black mold inside of it. And I stopped napping on the couch when I laid down on the couch because normally it would just knock me the fuck out when I sat in my spot.
But the black mold is gone. Like it's out of this house. And I truly believe that it was literally seeping into my system and like putting me to sleep and knocking me out. We got to get some more on that couch so you actually lay on it. Yeah. But that is not a laying couch. That's a sitting upright. Sitting up and watching me play Fortnite. I haven't played Fortnite in a while. It's like a torture couch. You hate that couch. Drew hates our couch. I love our couch. I don't even think we've showed them our couch. I don't know. I don't think.
but there's another thing I wanted to talk about is have you ever actually looked at the moon lander the moon lander the thing that landed on the moon it literally looks like it was made out of wooden dowel rods tin foil and like cloth that shit wasn't real bro that's what I'm saying I'm not saying I'm denying the moon landing but like look at that thing and you're telling me that flew through fucking outer space and landed on the moon this is like when somebody on tiktok is like I'm gonna make
remake a Noguchi piece of furniture and like this is what they end up making. Also they stole those copper pipes from like another abandoned building. Yeah they stole it from fucking street lights. Crazy. It's literally aluminum foil on this bitch. This shit's crazy. Yeah that's not real. On the set of that eBay commercial like ad thing I'm in by the time this comes out I think I had to post the reel. I made a joke about not believing in the mood landing. Nobody laughed. Like nobody in that room found that funny.
Yeah. Because Mark, the guy I was with, said something. He was talking about the watch that he was recommending for me. And he was like, this watch could get wet. It could go anywhere with you. How did it get wet? He was like, oh, it was the first watch on the... That thing squirts? The watch squirts too? No. No, it's like in case you squirt on it. Watches can't squirt. Like...
It's like if someone's fingering you with their watch on it. That's actually a really good idea. Yeah, that's a good way to promote watches to only Drake. No, to make the watch squirt. Oh, still something only Drake would want.
but he was like it's the first uh watch on the moon and then i was like that's interesting if the moon landing was real um and nobody laughed they were like that's not funny the moon landing is real and then i had to be like i was joking i believe in it but then as i was standing on that stage saying i wanted to be a furry and no one laughing and then i was as i was standing on the stage i was like do i believe in the
Like, I was just told that. I've never looked into it. Like, I just believe it because people talk about it a lot. Like, I've literally never, like, looked at it twice. There's a lot of curious information that it's just, like... I'm gonna choose to believe it because I want it to be real, so it's real to me. But, like, I'm not denying all the weird, like, inconsistencies with the, like...
It's very curious. It's very, very curious. Can you like zoom into the moon from... Because you know how people have telescopes, like consumer level telescopes, you can like zoom the fuck in on something. Can you see the flag or like... Well, I just, I literally saw something like...
literally yesterday this is what spurred this thought was like someone was like yeah but like why can't I see the flag from the moon and then someone was like you literally can just look at it with a telescope and then another person was like I can't see it why can't you and I think like it literally just depends on like what side you're on like it's photoshop or they just moon landing and flat earthers have like a counter argument to literally everything you say um so like
It's just the conversation is so far gone. You can't see it. You can't? No, it's not possible for a telescope to see the flags on the moon. The flags are only 121 centimeters, four feet long, and the average home telescope can only see objects larger than 1.5 kilometers. But I still feel like there's guys on TikTok that like have industrial level telescopes for some reason. I just like...
Like, I don't care. Like, I know they go there now, but I'm like, this has nothing to do with me. Like, this is so far and back. They actually haven't been back. Yeah, I don't think they... What? Is SpaceX not launching shit to the fucking moon every three weeks? No, they're, like, testing it so they can launch it on the moon. Okay, then I don't think we've been there. Because, like, bitch, if you've been there, go back.
That's literally everyone's argument. It's like, I don't think we've been there because if we've gone there or that they went there and they found something that we weren't supposed to see or that when we launched into space, we hit the fucking firmament. There's a lot of ideas where it's like, literally, I don't think we've been there because why wouldn't we go back? Yeah, like what? Just fucking go back. It is crazy that they launched it with something...
Less powerful than my iPhone. It's like... It had, like, memory of, like, 128 kilobytes or something. Which is fucking crazy. Like, all it did was numbers. That's, like, .01 seconds of this podcast. Yeah, that shit's not real, bro. I don't believe in that shit. But all I'm saying is, like, I am just perfect candidate for, like, propaganda because anything the government says, I'm like, oh, okay. No, I was literally thinking about that today. Like, I literally, like, anything you tell me...
it has to do with like my moral standings. Yeah. But for the most part, I'm like, okay. I have literally been so easily indoctrinated into like the extremist cult that is like America, like in American science. Like it's fucking crazy. It's so easy. Yeah. But also it's because like I'm not about
to sit here and fucking fight with bitches over the moon landing. The moon has nothing to do with me. The only thing the moon has to do with me is sometimes when I walk out of the house, it's a bit brighter than it usually is at night. The only thing I care about is like it's cute sometimes. Yeah, sometimes it's like so slay and like that's it. That is like where me and the moon's connection stops. It's like sometimes you're slay, sometimes you don't exist, and then sometimes you follow me around. Yeah. The moon like...
Also, I literally think this is the cutest thing ever, but when people are always like, oh, we're looking at the same sky or looking at the same moon, I'm like, oh, that's so fucking sweet. That's so cute. That is sweet. Also, it's the cover of one of my favorite Sundays album, and that's where the moon ends.
Or like remember when it was a full moon and we went to Malibu and swam naked. Yeah. Like that's when the moon matters the most. Yeah. Because that's when it's like giving us light and it's like nice. But bitch, I don't have to go there. Like what? You guys are naked? Oh my God. There's photos of it too. What? Mm hmm. That's. You want me to show you me? I would actually love to see that. Yeah.
Yeah, we got a flash photo of Drew's balls in the ocean. I was like diving in and you can see them through the thighs like from behind. No! Damn, the fact that you can see a man's balls from the back is so disgusting. You like clapped them in for a second? Yeah, exactly. Damn. That is fucking disgusting. But yeah, the moon landing may or may not be real. We'll let you decide. I gave you no information. It's probably fucking real, but I'm looking this shit up and people are like,
Well, why can't the Hubble Space Telescope that can see galaxies a hundred light years away not see the flag on the moon? I'm curious. Bitch, because that shit flew away. No, that's the other thing. Eight million years
No, there's another thing since it's a there's no atmosphere and there's no vacuum and there's no bacteria and there's nothing to degenerate it like there is no reason it shouldn't be there and still be in the exact same position we left it in and there was an argument that like it was all fake and done on a set because when they were erecting the flag, there was like waves in it, which is created by like movement in the atmosphere like wind or something. And yeah.
There's no way for that to happen on the moon. But if someone's moving something around, isn't there a chance that the vibration from you stabbing it in can kind of move it? That's the argument in the other direction. And then they're like, well, I recreated it to a T. And they just argue back and forth and it's so fucking stupid. Well, isn't it kind of funny that...
Wait, when was the moon landing? Like the moon landing? 1964 or something. What year did 2001 Space Odyssey come out? Because why did they just reuse the fucking set? Like that's another argument. They literally just reused the set. That's literally another argument. They're like, look at 2001 Space Odyssey. Like it looks like we're in space, but it was all filmed here. Like if they can do that, if Stanley Kubrick can do that, then they could have done this 10 years before with like government technology.
Yeah, we're good. Like, that shit's not real. But that's okay. Who fucking cares? Like, literally what? Like, it's not that big of a deal. I think the other one is like, they did go...
But they didn't record it, so they, like, did a fake recreation. Because it was just, like, a whole fucking arms race. That's the other thing is how the fuck did they live stream back in 1960 whatever? Like, that's fucking crazy that they were filming on the moon. Like, no, no, it doesn't make sense. Make that make sense. Yeah, also, like, wait, where's all the light coming from? Because the lighting on that was gorgeous. Mm-hmm.
It is really weird. You know how bad the quality of a phone call is? Yeah. Yeah. Like, why? Why are we streaming? Were they claiming it was live stream? I don't know. I don't know. Yes. Yes. They were. I mean, in the rocket launch, they were talking back and forth the entire way. Insane. Also, what was it? A 30 minute checker where bitches at the TV for like four hours. It's like a 40 day thing, I think.
I'm actually going to look that up. 40 days to get to the moon? Bitch, suck my fucking balls. I'm not going to the moon. 40 days? Bitch, that's 40 days and 40 nights to get to some dirt. For what? Uh,
Oh, wait. Four days and six hours and 45 minutes. 40 days? This is crazy. I think that's like to get to Mars or some shit. Four days still, though? I think to get to Mars is like nine months. Mitch, that's why they're not going back. Nobody wants to be gone for four days because now so much stuff happens on your iPhone. You can't miss four days worth of iPhone use. Yeah, no. That ass is like, well, no, I'll be fine. Like, put me on that fucking airplane. I'll just like do what I do in my bed and just like literally get on my phone. Do you get Wi-Fi on the spaceship now? I bet they could figure it out. Yeah, they could figure that out. Yeah.
Also, what's crazy is we've launched that like golden wheel into the world. That's like supposed to like aliens are supposed to find it. And like, Oh, it has the diagram of the human body. Exactly. It's supposed to, they're supposed to see it and be like, wait, this is like not made by. See, that's what science is going too far. Cause it's like, bitch, you are so bored. Like that's the most little kid shit ever. Like,
Like, I'm going to throw a rock in space with some stuff all over and hope someone finds it and can read it. Bitch, they cannot read what we are reading. But I mean, if they find it, they might be advanced enough to read it. But the crazy thing is, is it's so outdated at this point. Like, it does not represent us as humans at all anymore. And like the song that they used on it was like fucking. They put a song on that bitch? Yes. So they threw.
a mixtape into space hoping an alien would find it why did brian enu make the brian eno not the song but he made the album for the first like launch like an apollo 18 launch is that real yes damn he's too lit for that not maybe not brian enu uh but one of those ambient bitches harold budd um no this uh album was made for um oh what made for like apollo something damn yeah
Which is kind of, like, that's, like, next level. They got to get Jeremy Scott to do them stupid-ass, silly astronaut outfits. Why don't they, like, make more sleigh outfits? The fits now are fucking lit. The fits now are lit. But the suits, like, we can move past that. No, that's what I'm saying. The suits are lit. Like, they're, like, skinny and tailored and, like, cool. Like... Like, per-con-per-fit.
fuck is this picture bro not i okay so what we're learning today is i don't believe in the moon landing because that shit's not real bro yeah try to literally try to convince me that it's real and i'll believe it but no i'm like i'm choosing to believe it i'm like i want it to be real so bad but like the more information that comes out about it i'm like hmm
Yeah, I just don't think it's real because like go back, go back challenge. Literally go back. Yeah. And you don't want to because you've never been. That's literally me when I lie. I'm like, well, I just can't do it again. I'm so tired. The newer suits are like boot cut. Yeah, they're Amiri and fucking true religion. Imagine if Drake did the song for Apollo 69 and then they had boot cut Amiri's on the moon. Yeah.
That'd be too, Lin. They should get Chrome Hearts to do since they love their silver. They should get a Chrome Hearts shuttle to take them. That would be fire. Ultimate capitalism. Although...
ultimate world destruction it's like let's just make something that's so unneeded for this universe so we can escape it and cause the pollution okay it would be lit to post this on the gram like yeah back when i was on the moon did you know you can go to space now like that's what i'm saying though like can we like and also i don't want to like there's nothing to see there i would i would spend the money to go there's no vintage shops on the moon there's no vintage if they can make a
a shuttle big enough with a mini mall in it then I'll go then I literally would go I mean sooner than later we're gonna have like camps on Mars and shit
I don't think we're going to be alive for that. No, it's supposed to happen by 2030, I think. I say that, but then I see the new cars, and I was saying to Drew the other day, I'm literally watching the future unfold in front of me. The IONIQ 5 Hyundai's, look them up, Kai. They're crazy. We're literally watching the Jetsons' future unfold.
unfold in front of us and it's starting with like the new Prius yeah it's like iridescent paint and Prius looks sick it's crazy like they like all the new cars are actually starting to look fucking crazy um and now I know what like old people feel like when they see the world change and they're freaking out because I'm like it's nothing's changing but then I see somebody's Hyundai in their driveway and I'm like whoa what the fuck is that like like it's literally the future almost like yeah like no no
But all those batteries are going to explode and then we're going to... That's when we're going to see the end of time. Yeah, all those batteries were created with child labor. Yeah, and the batteries are going to start exploding and fucking erupting. And the data they're collecting from us from our new electric cars are going to literally be used to hunt us down and kill us. Because you can't run away. Literally, you literally can't run away. Um...
This is the last thing I want to add to the conversation before we move on to media. But straight men stop using Marlboro cigarette packaging and logo design as your medium for art challenge. For your shitty fucking brands that you're starting. I remember at the Chateau when we were all sitting in a circle with...
You know who. And he started going on a spiel about how he wanted to like create like this massive piece of artwork with cigarette packages. Oh my God, yes. And he was like, I want to make like a skull out of Marlboro packs. And like he started like doing it. Oh, it was so bad.
bad he was also crazy he is fucking insane like actually a dangerous person so gross like writing the kind of poetry that was like I can taste your sweat I would taste your blood if I could I love you so much making Pinterest boards we won't get into that but he's the killer and he it's yeah he's a scary actor
is the killer and I don't care to say his name because he is the killer. I don't care. I was gonna say, yeah. No, he is literally the killer and he is fucking weird and like he is literally what happens when you don't get casted in The Fault in Our Stars but you really wanted to be. Yeah. That's what it feels like. Like,
That's what happens when you get the second round to self-taping for Fault in Our Stars, but you just don't make it. The Fault in Our Stars ate, though. That movie fucking ate. That movie was literally the house. Oh, so that's how you use it. That movie was the house. Okay. Oh, we'll keep that in mind. Yeah. All right. Now on to media. Media of the week.
Did you see that Zamora's fucking car got stolen? No, it didn't. Yeah, he got it back, but somebody stole his car in like the middle of the night. I'm literally calling him. Guys, we're missing the Met Gala right now. Fuck. Guys, can we wrap this up? I have to go walk the carpet of the Met. Yeah, we recorded. Yeah. Whoa. Wow. You just got fucking dissed, bitch.
How humiliating. Did you see that, Kai? Yeah, you got bodied. Whoa. Okay, media of the week is The Zenith by Starfire59, Silly by Denise Williams, Riot by Hugh Masakila, Arrow Through Me by Wings, and then fun fact, that is the song that Erykah Badu sampled for Gone Baby Don't Be Long. And yeah, that's it. That's all I'm gonna fucking give you. Actually...
I'm gonna give you Testone by Sweet Exorcist. Kid for Today, Boards of Canada, Stereolab Mix. Listen to A Warm Place by Nine Inch Nails.
And stolen documents, the future sound of London. My bad, guys. We did it. We recorded our first ever episode of a podcast. I know. That was actually amazing. It went really smooth. Yeah, it went way smoother than I would have ever thought. But except for me saying transition. I hope you liked this episode. Wait, who did that? This podcast. Anthony Pantano. Oh, yeah. I hate him.
The day music died. What the fuck is your fucking thumbnail for this Paris video, bitch? This is fucking insane. You should see the raw thumbnail. And I was going to do it, but I was like, I'm not doing that to India. That is insane.
I'm not kidding. This is unedited. And I was like, I'm going to do this. But then I was like, no, I'm going to edit it and make it funnier. That's fucked up. Dude, I look really fucked up on camera all the time. It's crazy. I swear I genuinely think I look better in person. And I believe that wholeheartedly. On camera, I look fucked up and scary and disgusting. If you need to tell yourself that, go ahead. Oh, wait. Zamar is answering. Well, I actually am about to shit myself. So I'm going to walk away. Thank you guys so much for listening.
Did your car actually get stoned?