Red 40 challenge
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Yeah, I just didn't feel right in the other chair. Yeah. It just felt blasphemous. So I thought I would be on the floor worshipping my mic god. Hey, guys. I don't know that I like you on the floor. Like, it feels a little, like, degrading and sad. Ew. Ew.

If only there was like a chair here. I wish I had a chair. If only I wasn't looking at like the nastiest chair. I wish there was a chair in here. Don't look at me. Get the chair.

We are so back, y'all. Dude, it looks like it got more yellow. Like, under different lights, it looks different. And under our natural lighting in our kitchen, it looks so much grosser. Yeah, it was in the daylight, bitch. It looks crazy. Lugging it up the stairs, I saw, like, through the, like, crevices in the pores. And it was just, like, piles of dust, hair, like, dander. Like, all this nasty fucking shit. And, like...

I was thinking, I was like, every time I chip a little bit of her off, I'm really, really sad about it. And I'm like, oh, I'm taking a part of her. But then I'm like, no, it builds character. It builds lore. It's like a part of it. And sooner than later, it's going to be degraded into fucking nothing. But she's special. She's here. She's queer. We found out she came out of the closet. I know, yeah. We're really proud of her. A chair? The chair came out of the closet? Yeah, she did. Why are you acting like that's...

that crazy is that a problem yeah that's not a problem i just didn't know that inanimate objects could come out of the closet unless you mean a literal club azul hello well azul's not an animal no that actually is an interesting one's the last time y'all saw her oh shit hold up a random thing like on the table in front of you and me and nina will tell you if it's straight or gay

That is straight. I was going to say it might be a little bisexual with the right person. All right, we're already off to a very poor start. We're not locked in. What about this beautiful candle? Gay. Ew. That's gay. I was going to say it was straight. I guess we're reading things differently.

Yeah, well, I'm more like, okay, gay people like candles. What about this huge dildo? Oh, okay, okay, okay. Because I was thinking like, oh, like its wick wasn't cut every time it was burned. So it's kind of got the suck around it. And I'm like, that's giving like a straight guy not really wiping his ass. Let me try that joke again. What about this huge dildo that's on the table? What is that? A straight. Straight. All right.

Anyways, I have to show you something that I've been holding back from him. I found somebody who you will be obsessed with. I'm excited. She didn't blow up. This is no viral moment. It literally is just like my TikTok feed has been giving me exactly what I've been wanting from it, which is just...

Nonsense. Like, nothing. Okay, I followed a random Minecraft account. I had to unfollow that. So, I was watching this lady's TikTok. She's talking about getting struck by lightning. And I was like, oh my god. She got struck by fucking lightning. Like, this is insane. I've always wanted to hear someone talk about this. She goes on this long fucking tangent about how, like...

Oh wait, I saw her. Describing it, but did you watch to the end? Like her saying she felt like she got hit on the head by like someone jumped on top of her. No, at the end, she randomly starts to plug the fact that she's a psychic medium. Oh, I did see that. I did see that. Yeah, my powers have

grown exponentially. I believe her. All the comments. Okay, but listen to this. So she goes into describing it and in her first story time, this is me debunking. I actually don't think she got struck by lightning, but hear me out. She is like, oh, no one was around when it was happening. It was only my husband. My husband thought I was joking when I fell to the floor, which I'm like,

Your husband thought you were joking. You were just struck by fucking lightning. That's a very visual experience. It's not like, oh my God, I have a cramp in my leg. Auditory as well. Yeah, literally like there's no denying if you got struck by lightning right now, there'd be no question about it. Like, oh my God, God just struck you. You're cooked. Like you're literally fried.

She was like, my husband didn't believe me. He thought I was joking because she did another story time. And in the original one, she's like, no one else was around. It was just me and my husband. In the second story time, she basically adds in that there were other people on the beach and that they refused to call the ambulance for her because they were like, we don't know what's happening. Like, we don't want to call the police because like what's happening. I'm so confused. Bitch, you're telling me no one in that vicinity literally saw like a flash of light and thought they were going to like die. Yeah, like felt some sort of like electrical shock.

in their system if they were that fucking close. Exactly. And I'm just like, girl, I think you just had like a minor stroke and like that is serious as fuck. But then she's like, no, she wants attention. Yeah. She said she got struck by lightning and immediately her first concern was talking to her husband because she didn't want to annoy him. And I was like, I think if I got struck by lightning, that'd be the last thing I'm

thinking of but like also like patriarchy like we need to bring that shit down i know like why can't she just be struck by lightning have a moment of peace me and kai have actively been we've been working on a patriarchy we've been doing a lot of stuff to get rid of it so thank you drew and kai and honestly like you're kind of building it like back up by not believing a woman wow yeah so much for work y'all are silencing women you just silenced me

It's not very demure of you. No, wait, hold on y'all, y'all. Let me cook. Let me cook. Oh, like demure this, demure that. Bitch, you smell like manure. Cow shit. You stink like fucking shit. Wait, let me cook. Call me Humpty Dumpty because I'm broken.

Okay, so did anybody actually win the Danimal sweepstakes or was that just like a big con? I saw someone that won the iCarly sweepstakes. They won the jelly bean. Oh yeah, the chandelier. I've seen that, but the Danimal sweepstakes, I'm only even bringing it up because that audio from it is such a big thing and it was such a big commercial when we were growing up. Why?

why has no one with the revival of that gotten on and been like oh my god i actually won that like i met them i went on the cruise because what what was it they were giving away a fucking cruise also a cruise is the least convenient prize you can give a child yeah like what are they gonna do to like go on it like their parents probably have on deck one right yeah i think so i think someone i saw like a vlog of someone talking about winning a sleep sleep or sleep

Suite Life on deck cruise. But I don't know if it's the same as the Danimals one. Yeah, I guess actually I don't really know what the Danimals one. I think they were going to take you to Hollywood or something. I don't know. We're going to start a sweepstakes. All you have to do is send me an Enya $20 and we'll fly one lucky fan out to fuck them all day long.

So that's actually illegal. That's like raffling, which is technically considered gambling. So we can't do that. That's the problem. It's a fucking fan challenge. Well, that's the illegal part. That's okay. Aren't there other problems you think that? What? Okay. All right. Gifting somebody with the pleasure of a lifetime is a crime. From me and Inya.

From us? Hello? A threesome with me and Drew? Like, hello? We might have too many injuries. Bro, Inya and I will randomly just get into conversations because, I mean, obviously, like, we make a bunch of jokes about having sex with each other and we do very frequently do S together. But thinking about us actually doing S, like, oh my God, like, I can't look at her for, like, 30 minutes because I'm like...

that would be the most mortifying experience of my life. And likewise for you. Yeah, because to me, like, I can't imagine you actually butt naked nasty. Like, it doesn't happen. Like, I just, my brain can't go there. It will never be able to go there. I'm a never nude. Yeah, I've never...

What? Yeah, I don't. I shower fully clothed. So you blow dry your clothes? Is that why you blow dry? Yeah. Drew still blow dries his body, by the way. If anybody was like, oh my God, I wonder if Drew's still blow drying his body. He still blow dries his body. I genuinely don't think that is an abnormal thing. Like, is that actually weird? I think everybody was like, I've never heard of anybody who does that.

That's not a thing. Especially you didn't see someone doing it and you were like, oh my God, that's good. You just started doing it. And it works. Like it stops the fucking like moisture on my body from- Does it not overheat you or do you just use cool air? I use the hottest setting on the lowest fan speed.

I feel like that would just make me sweat. Like that would just make me start to get hot. Because anytime I've gone out of the shower and I have to like blow dry my hair, I get incredibly sweaty immediately. I just love hot air. I was thinking like I would rather sleep in 100 degree weather than sleep in 32 degree weather. I hate...

I hate being cold when I sleep. It's horrible. I'd rather be cold. Like I'd fully rather be cold. Cause I could just like pile on and get in like in my little chamber of like my body heat. Chamber of secrets, chamber of love, Willem Dafoe, or what's his fucking name? Magda Marco. What are you talking about? Chamber of secrets. Is it called chamber of secrets? That song? Chamber of reflection. Reflection. Period. No, wait, what's the, you said something else the other day. You still can't say chamber.

You say talk to the hand. Yeah. You're like, talk to me, talk to the, or the movie is called talk to me. But my version of that is. Let me talk to you. My version of that is saying the challengers instead of challengers. From the very beginning, I have never been able to not reference that movie and say, oh, it's like the challengers. I always added the to it because it just makes more sense in my head. Speaking of the challengers, I.

I have something very, very special coming, but I'm not telling any of you fucking bitches about it because it will be leaked and I will... Oh, Josh O'Connor being a guest? Kai, this is why we don't include you on fucking email chain. Yeah, I get it. Wait, I don't think we talked about the demure conversation. Like, oh, that's very demure. Like, no manure conversation.

What do you mean what we didn't talk about that? I cooked and I need my flowers. It wasn't good. It really wasn't good. Is that what you wrote down the other day? Because Drew wrote down something the other day. He was like, oh my God, I just came. Oh no, you told me that PSYOP. That was good. He made up his own PSYOP, but I was scared that that was going to be it because that would have been like a huge, like a huge letdown. Like so, so bad. It would have been a flop for sure. But okay. So moving on, I...

This is so mean. Like, this is so wicked of me to say, and I know that this is mean girl behavior, and I don't care. It's just how my brain works, and I'm sure a lot of y'all have thought the same thing. But, like, I see horrifying, ugly people on my timeline all the fucking time, like, thinking they're sexy hot. And, like, I'm like, respect, do you? They are hot in a way. Confidence is sexy. Like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

- I fear that I'm-- - How often do you see yourself on your timeline? - No, no, I was gonna say I fear that I am that person who like, 'cause that picture I posted, I was like, damn bitch, I fuckin' ate. Oh yeah, my 100% Jesus band, I am a Neymar fan. I don't even know if that's how you say his fuckin' name, but it's swag, bitch, like I ate.

And I'm not telling you where I got it because the store actually blew up and everybody inside died in all of the stock of it. Burn. Yeah. Burn. Oh, that's so sad. Yeah. So don't even fucking ask. Um, but then I was thinking, I was like, Oh my God, I am the ugly bitch that thinks he's fine. Um,

And that's okay. Like I fully entered their brain. You're really not ugly though. You're not ugly. We've just reached a point like it went from people being like, you're so sexy to you constantly asking to be called sexy. And then our audience was like, bitch, fuck you. And then stopped calling you sexy because you every episode would be like, can I be called sexy? Like, oh my God, I'm so sexy. But you are sexy. Well, I don't feel it. I don't feel it because all of y'all motherfuckers call me ugly. I get called fucking stupid.

stupid every day like oh i feel stupid like i'm ugly and stupid dude you are sexy though thank you that photo of you with the bug do i have to remind you about that no what photo i don't know you're talking about well i'll insert it i'll insert it but you look good as fuck

i don't know which one it is like can you show me all right well you actually don't know no i know i'm just you're so annoying oh also that picture of the bug i thought it was your bug but then i remembered your bug was already yeah you killed her yeah i killed her i saw a cricket at the farmer's market and i tried to capture and then i was like wait this is literally up like this thing is outside let me leave it outside it's in a concrete jungle um

Oh yeah, that picture. We'll insert it so they can see it. We'll insert it a couple times. Okay, I actually have a question for the public. Is it embarrassing for me to be driving around with my windows down and my music really loud? Because I'm starting to feel like it's a little embarrassing. It's like, look at me, listen to how good my music tastes. And that's not even what I mean. I just genuinely love the windows down. But when I get up to another car, I feel so embarrassed. Like,

If I'm not in a constant moving state in my car with the windows down, I do feel like people see me and they're like, she wants attention so bad. But I'm like, I'm all alone. Like I'm not necessarily trying to call attention to myself, but especially because the speakers in my newer car are so loud that I'm like,

This feels like I'm trying to make a statement. It reminds me when I was in high school. I mean, it's like it's very similar behavior to backpack kid, like speaker backpack kid in school. But when I was in high school and I first got my license and I was first like discovering music that like everybody in my hometown had no idea existed. And I felt so fucking cool. And I was like, I'm better than everybody else type beat. I would go to.

to the gas station, have all my windows down and purposefully turn up my radio and leave my door open with the music blasting loud as fuck because I wanted everybody in Granberry to be like, wow, he's got music, good music taste.

in reality, everybody wanted to shoot me with a pistol and put me down like a fucking sick dog because I am deranged. That's my thing is I always wonder, I'm like, damn, am I annoying the fuck out of someone? But it's like common practice. I feel like a lot of people do drive around with their windows down and their music up. How do you feel...

If someone drives next to you with their windows down. I'm always interested. When I drive next to somebody and their windows are down and I can hear their music, I always listen because I'm like, oh, I wonder what they're listening to. So I'm never like, oh my God, that's so embarrassing. You think you're that person. Like, oh my God, you're not that girl. Like, put your fucking windows up. I'm always like, oh my God, that's such a vibe. They're having like the best day ever and inspires me to put my windows down. But just the other day, yeah, I was driving alone by myself and listening to music with the windows on. I was like,

Am I embarrassing myself or am I doing the thing that I can make everything? Everything is embarrassing. Everything inside a bagel. What? Oh, sucked into a bagel? Yeah, sucked right into a bagel. Bagel, bagels, pizza bay, galaxy pizza, mustache. We need to go back to that.

Yeah, I agree. Like simplicity. It's coming soon. Like people are like too obsessed with like finding the new. I want to be ahead of the curve. I want to like, oh, trend forecast. Also, we've talked about trend forecasting so much. But when will people realize that people get online and they'll be like my trend forecast for fall, like this fall. And they're just referencing things that were on the runway in spring for fall this year. Like it's literally you can't just be like, this is my prediction for the fall.

like trends and you're just showing me the fall runways from yumiu like i yeah that that's going to be actually sold in store and then you're gonna be get to be like i did that um

And I want the never-ending, like, wanting to be onto the next new trend to be over. And I want it to just be simple of, like, yes, we all are going to tattoo a mustache to our finger. Like, that is, like, reject modernity, embrace tradition. There was something we were doing the other day that I was like, this is literally me rejecting modernity, embracing tradition. But I can't remember me, Josie, and Josh were watching something. And I was like, that's what we're actively doing right now. Damn.

Wait, Josiah, come say hi. We haven't seen you in the kitchen in a long time. Sing, sing Pink Pony Club for us. That's what I'm up to. I've been sick for a month, y'all. I feel like I'm dying. Oh my God, Brad. I'm sorry, I'll find my fight. Oh wait, did they take the cars out of Fortnite? No, in like two days. Ugh.

I think they lost me though. No, they did. Those two days are too long. Yeah, two days too long. You were two days too late. No, literally. The magic is gone. It's so sad to think the magic for everything dies. There's a time and a place for everything. And the magic for Fortnite in my heart is gone. It has withered away. It feels like that's...

Yeah.

I just wish I had it still. But it's like the idea of like old heads, like still making music on like in their music sucks. And it's not like they're good old music. So it's just like, why didn't you let your career die when you were at the peak? Yeah, just let it fade out. Yeah, exactly. Just don't get back on Fortnite because your memories will be tainted. Also,

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So my thing is I'm sitting around. I'm like, dude, I was so much happier when I was playing Fortnite all the time. But it was like, no, I just had the perfect way to disassociate and disconnect from my life. And now I don't have that. And that's why my screen time is up. Because all I'm doing is I don't like it too close to my face because I start to do this and back away from it. It's just like in my mouth. Wait, what?

Pause. Oh, duh, duh, duh, it's in your mouth. Oh my God, that's crazy. Fucking freak bitch. Oh, patriarchy this, patriarchy that. I like women this. Oh, but I'm gonna make a dick joke like you're a fucking freak. Oh my God. I'm uncomfortable and I feel attacked, Drew. Mm-hmm. That's just my day-to-day. I'm just used to that. Yeah, and I started giving Drew wedgies. Really? Swirlies too, but I'm into that.

I'm into that. Okay, well, I saw this post of someone being like, have you ever had, like, someone or seen someone, like, talking...

someone or have you ever talked to someone through like IG story songs and like we've talked extensively about this like yeah of course like that's so fun to do and like whatever like to see the person hear the song well it reminded me of a time when I was pseudo dating not dating the scariest motherfucker on this planet fucking creepazoid that invited me to

the wedding while we were seeing each other but oh god it's so fucking cringy but i literally made an entire playlist of songs that i like and the first letter spelled out something ah is that playlist still up no i fucking deleted that shit ah it's so cringy oh my god no that's cute that's cute i've realized um and he never caught on he never really caught on

Isn't that crazy? See, that kind of shit is so annoying. He probably did. You're supposed to analyze it. Bitch, don't send me a song because I'm looking at all the lyrics. I'm like, you're crazy. You want me. This is us. Like, this is literally our story. I miss that. I want to make a playlist for somebody again so bad. Like, I'm trying to expand my music from just, like, having it have, like, personal and, like, romantic connection. I have a lot of music that has, like, friendship connection, but I want to start, like, a...

a collaborative playlist with like my sister and like my friends and stuff just to expand that because I usually only make playlists for people when I'm obsessed with them and like yearning hard and I want to be able to like have that same feeling for just like my friends but

I fear it won't ever hit the same. Like it literally will. It just won't be the same. Like, oh, here I go. Like song about friendship and love, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like I can share that in person, but there's something so like, oh my God, like this is crazy. They added another song. I get to go listen and analyze it. Like if only I had that kind of yearning for like learning and analyzing things that mattered. That's tea. Which I'm trying to do because I'm so sad. Um,

My life is so hard. Okay, if I know a man that can do the splits, I'm running the fuck away. Like, that is crazy. That is scary behavior. Like, literally stay the fuck away from me. I'm talking to you, Josiah. Josiah can do a split? I don't think he can do it anymore, but he used to be able to. But I was just thinking about that. Like, I saw a man do the splits on, like, my feed, and I was just like...

This is crazy. This is tainted. This is dark-sided. This is evil. Like, there's something seriously wrong. Why is it crazy? Because, like, does that hurt? No, I'm strictly thinking just, like, seeing a man, like, seeing the bottom of a man's foot, like, is a crazy fucking vibe. Oh, yeah, you mentioned that because you went to the beach with our friends and you said you saw the bottom of one of our friend's feet while he was playing in the water and you were like, I don't think I've ever seen the bottom of another man's, like, a grown man's foot. It was a crazy fucking vibe, but...

Yeah, that's all I have to say. Well, I saw the most insidious brand sponsorship ever. And I was like, oh my God, brands are getting too smart. And our consumerism is going through the fucking roof, even on my end. I've tried to hold back from just buying shit that I see on TikTok. Specifically, if I watch a lot of fashion content, I'll be like, oh my God, that skirt is so cute. I want something like that. And then I'll go on a deep dive. And I've gotten better about not buying.

random things just when I'm high in bed because it can get so easy. But I saw just the way brands are maneuvering now is so insane. How they are hopping onto trends that are just fun, play, whatever. Even the Olympics. A bunch of brands did a bunch of things about the Seine River and about this one... Poop River. Yeah, about the Poop River. This one skincare brand...

Did a video where their serum drops into the river and it cleans the river because the serum is so good. And then another brand like that hot sauce brand like had like confetti like blowing out of the top of the Eiffel Tower and then like this like thing fell and it was their hot sauce, the hot sauce tower.

or like whatever. And I'm just like, oh my God, y'all are so fucking annoying. Can you just let something live? Insidious. Let somebody just enjoy something. The Olympics are already such a money pit of like brands giving people things and the people talking about the things they're getting and Samsung phone and Nike tracksuit. The Samsung fucking phone on that goddamn podium was driving me insane. I'm already heavily leaning into getting a Samsung phone. Like it's my next path. I fear. I think I'm going to do it soon.

But seeing that insidious marketing campaign where it's just like ruining these like people's moments like that they've worked all their lives to be on that goddamn podium and then they shove a fucking Samsung phone in their face. I'm like, no, see now you're crossing a line and I don't fucking play with that. But that's how I feel people are starting to feel about that kind of push from brands is like, okay, this could have just been a moment like this.

There was this viral video of this like young girl. She's like maybe six or seven and she had like a tiny purse. And then the brand reached out to her and like asked her, like, I don't remember what the brand was for. Maybe it was for like,

a lip gloss or something. But basically they scripted out a plot line where I don't know if they picked a random comment or like someone from the brand made a random account and commented this, but it was like, please do a what's in my bag tour. So then the ad post they ended up posting was a reply to a comment so that it seemed like, oh, this is

fun thing, but it was literally an ad placement for this brand. Then I was like, dude, this is so fucking insane. Everything is a ploy to buy something. Everything is like a moment to buy something. Everything is a market push. Everything is so scary. Um,

But then I remember I could just turn off my phone. Which I've been really good about recently. The app fucking works, y'all. I am on a four-day streak of not opening TikTok more than five times, not opening Instagram more than five times, and not opening YouTube more than five times. I do need to put a limiter on Twitter because I've just kind of been like using that to fill my time. But...

My screen time is really fucking good still. Like so good. Like literally yesterday it was four hours. So bad. The day before it was three hours. Like I'm fucking cooking y'all. But the one fucking thing that I hate that Apple does is I work, I've been like sketching on my iPad a bunch recently because I finally figured out what I'm going to paint on the big canvas that I bought like six months ago. And I bought a projector for it and everything. I'm so excited. But like I've been working on like the preliminary sketch for like

four or five hours over the past day or two. For some reason, my iPad screen time is connected to my phone screen time. So right before bed last night, I was like, let's check my screen time before it's midnight. And it was like four hours or something like that. But then right when it hit midnight, it updated and said nine hours and six minutes. And I was like, girl, I was not on my phone for nine hours.

But then I look at the apps that were used and I was like, did I just leave my phone open for like five hours? Like what the hell? But it was Procreate and I don't use fucking Procreate on my phone. So I was like, girl, this is bullshit. It's all connected. Well, that's like you're taking time off your phone to focus on a different screen.

- But at least you're like drawing it's different. - This video, this fucking video. - Actually I thought my screen time for next thing was gonna be really bad, but I've been doing a better job of reading for the past two days. I've read 50 pages of two books that I really wanted to start. So that feels really good. Also that actually leads us to my next thing. The 75 hard challenge cracks me the fuck up because one. - This is us bro.

I've been reading to a bun. Yeah. We've been like reading crazy boots. Like we both decide, like, let's go read. And then we read our books and it feels awesome. But what was cracking me up is the 75 hard talents. People will be like, my goal is to read for like 10 minutes a day. And in my head, I was like, so a page. Yeah. I was like, well, I don't like, I am,

I would consider myself like a fast reader if I'm enjoying a book. If it's a book that's like 100 to 150 pages, I could easily finish that book within the day, within like two hours. Like if I'm really into the book and I'm just like picking it up. Yeah. That's...

actually i don't i guess i just don't know how long it takes people to read books but i was surprised with myself i literally read a hundred pages yesterday while sitting um by the pool and i was like wait is that like what people do and it wasn't like fake reading where i'm just like like not like fucking understanding the words or whatever like i actually was like understanding and like lock the fuck in no i feel like that's a normal reading pace that actually like i would be

curious if anybody even thinks that's a slower reading pace because I feel like when a book really gets you, you can go through it really fucking fast. Like I think most people are naturally quicker readers than they realize, especially now that we read so much shit on our fucking phones. Like all of us have become so good at reading quickly because of subtitles and shit, at least in my head. But 10 minutes a day, I was like,

That is crazy. Like, because I guess I like the idea of a 75 hard, but like I would never do it to myself because I would consider that abuse to myself because why the fuck would I work out twice a day? Twice a day? What do I want? That's crazy. What am I going to fucking boot camp? Arthritis, food run. I'm going to,

I'm about to start building cars with my fucking bare hands. I don't need to do that twice a day. So a lot of it is really funny, but that just cracks me up because I'm like, and then the wellness part of 75 hard challenge, I guess like technically that working out would be the wellness, but part of it is reading the book and I'm like,

Girl, fuck the other workout. Just read for 45 minutes. Because usually someone 75 hard is like working out for anywhere from like 45 to an hour, like twice a day. I was like, bro, that is way too much time to be focusing on that. Like literally my workouts last 30 minutes. And I'm like, damn, I put in the work today. And I ran for the first time yesterday for the first time in so long, especially post being addicted to my puff bar. And I don't know if it was because I chugged a fucking Celsius or what, but I felt like

I was going to explode and knock. Well, there's another reason. It's all the fucking nicotine in your blood, bruh. I've just been frying my brain. I am in such an unhealthy space in my brain. And it's been really freaking me out because I'm like, oh my God, this brain has to work for another like 20 years. Like, are you kidding me? No. 60 years even.

Oh my God. No. Oh no. Like this is the brain that has to get me through the rest of my life. Like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I just turned 25 and I'm like, oh no, no, no, no. This is it. This is literally it. Like, and it's been enough. Like my brain, when I turned, when I was turning 25, I was like, oh, that's a funny idea. Like, fuck you. There goes a couple brain cells. So it's going to be even more low activated brain.

I wanted to like rip one of your bands off. I was like, those mean so much to you. If I did that, that'd be fun. I almost took them off yesterday. I was thinking about it. I was like, why the fuck do I wear these? They like literally don't have meaning. They collect scum. This one does the blue one because it's like a Fortnite bracelet from my birthday. And I felt loved for the first time in my life that day.

I typically don't feel that. Yeah, fuck everything else. Like, fuck all the times I'm like, oh, are you okay? I love you. Like, I think about you all the time. Yeah, fuck that. Yeah. Well, speaking of fucking, fuck, marry, kill. I got a good one. I got a good one. Fuck, marry, kill. This is for you too, Kai. Equilateral triangle, isosceles triangle, or scalene triangle. You're going to have to show me a fucking picture. I swear I know what that looks like. I don't know what any of those look like. And there is a right answer. Fuck, marry, kill.

There's a right answer. I'm killing the equilateral. Like freaks me out. Yeah. Freaks me out too good. Like I feel like I would be like what's her nuts from like girls where I'd be like, oh, you're like driving me crazy. Like I think you're perfect. I hate you. Like you're giving me too much. You're freaking me out. For me, it's giving like well-rounded like there for you when you need them the most. They're just like they treat everybody equally. Like that's a Mary. I know.

I was going to say I marry isosceles because yes, like for the most part, but there's still like things we like need to get through together. And I feel like we could get through them. And like one day maybe we could be an equilateral, but for now we're both isosceles. I'm fucking the fuck out of this one. How do you know? No way. I'm wait, hold on. Hold on. We got to run this back. Cause I am marrying equilateral. Um,

fucking the shit out of isosceles triangles like i'm laying pipe and they lay pipe too so it's like a verse situation yeah and honestly i'd be a verse bottom um in the case of isosceles triangle and i'm killing the fuck out of what is it scalene scalene i don't know it's like the blurriest you put you pulled up the blurriest image i've ever seen why can i remember what it was

um yeah scalene i'm killing scalene no i'm fucking scalene like i just feel like they're freaky and kind of bad for me but like the fuck will be lit like the sex will be awesome it'll be like a time to remember a lapse in my judgment perhaps it's like a top like that has the mattress on the floor and their dirty laundry all over the room hold on let me find that picture it's so funny

Like the thing is, you're allowed to have piles of clothes in your room, but fucking hide them. Like have some sort of decorum. Like I too have piles of clothes, but I at least like fold them up and like push them away so people don't see them. But actually, as I'm saying that, I'm realizing I literally have a bin full of clothes in my room, a whole donation pile, and then a whole tailor pile that I haven't touched for six months. I got shirts gifted to me on Christmas.

that i was like i'm gonna get these tailored so they fit they have been sitting next to my desk for what is it now eight months so i can't find the picture but it's the one of like that sexy man in a bed that's a top and like it's really his room is disgusting but y'all the people that know what i'm referencing know what i'm referencing like it's a funny picture the other people who have gone to the gay convention what is that

Wait, what's gay? What is gay? The picture of you and like a bunch of people liking Jack Donahue's photo. It's like, oh, welcome to the gay convention. I hate that. That is so fucking horrific. Well, this is something I put a lot of thought into and I genuinely believe. But like put me in the Oval Office and I could run this fucking country like a lesbian fucking

that runs a McDonald's. Like, I swear to God, like, I swear to God, I could fucking cook, bro. Literally at the first instant, I would probably be like, I don't know. I don't. No, no, no. I feel like I'm a good mediator. I'm a listener. Like, I like talk to people and I hear people and like, I give like good advice. Like, I don't give good advice, but I give good. If you were the president, I would be fucking terrified. I'd be like, dude, it is like,

No, this is not good. But that's how I feel about me too. Like if I was the president, I'd be like, no, we're cooked. Like...

what i would have to literally take my like vivans every fucking day i would be twacked like i would literally every president already but it's fucking actual amphetamines like like real like just pure amphetamine no like fucking powder but yeah no i know like let's let's run it back like i really could run this bitch like to freedom like it was like the stairway of heaven vibes like

i'd cook i'd cook that's all i'm saying you think you could solve this country's issues yeah

No, I'm not kidding. I mean, we always say this. Like, bitch, if everybody had my brain chemistry, we would all be lit. Yeah, I actually, I guess I do believe that. But the problem is, like, being the president doesn't mean everybody starts to act fucking normal. Like, being the president means, like, you still have, like, really crazy people to deal with. No, it's, like, more about, like, aura and swag. Like, people would see my aura and my swag and be like, oh, my God, he's so cool. Like, I want to be friends with him. Let's not, like, do bad shit. I would love if you were the president.

just because the people who don't fuck with you the amount of photos they would have of you to be like this is our me in a fucking diaper that is the craziest shit i've ever done but i put on a fucking diaper and tweeted h3h3 ethan klein just replied to a random fucking tweet that he has and it was like hold on let me look that shit oh i don't think he knows that no he doesn't he doesn't right no him offering us the to host the podcast and not know um

Um, like, hello, you missed your fucking chance, sis. Yeah. My man's here shot already and you fucking ignored it. No, literally. Like, you didn't even respond. You didn't even like it. And I know his ass saw it, but he ignored it. Drew Phillips diaper. I can't find it. Someone posted it recently and was like, this you twin? And I was like, yes. Well, yes. It's all right. Daddy will find it. Yes. How often do you feel that way about being the president? What?

Like, is it okay? Cause I've thought about this and I feel like this is the actual male period, which is like, for me, it's like once a month I'll wake up and I'll be like,

I really could be the president and I could fucking fix everything. And then the next day I'll be like, I want to fucking kill myself. It's, I mean, I haven't really thought about it too much, but in the last like few days, I've, I really do think I've really been considering his run. Yeah. No girl. Like literally like they found a picture of JD Vance, like in quote unquote drag, but it was just like, whatever, like girl, the diaper pictures, like the fucking like,

split hairline. Like, all that shit would freak out the fucking... Well, by the time I'm running... You on Facebook lying about meeting Kylie Jenner. Yeah. It would be elder millennials that are gonna be, like, dated and, like, annoying. It's gonna be like, oh, that's the millennial, like, idea. But, like, that's crazy to think. And then it'll be Gen Z after that. Wow. But, like, Alpha's gonna be like, y'all are fucking old hags. Like, literally, like, get with the times. Like, we want...

the diatomaceous algae to be a gender. Sometimes it's so nice to let you just like go on like a free form, like thought train and just watch where it takes you because you freak me out. But also we understand each other because the other night when we were watching, um,

Oh, we were watching car chases on TV and it was cracking me up. And Josh and Josie were like, you were literally tweaked out right now because I kept laughing so hard because I was like, dude, cars are so funny. Like they're literally just these big missiles and people just get in them and like hit each other and like speed around and like other people have to chase them to stop them. Like they're literally like dogs who like got something in their mouth and they aren't supposed to have it.

And Drew came in and he was like, I fully understand why that's funny. That's literally so funny. And that's why we get along so well because we both look at something and we were like, this is too crazy. Cars are so funny. When I'm speeding in my car, I'm like, I shouldn't be allowed to do this. And I'm sitting so still. It's so casual too. It's like Chapel Roan playing in the background and you're speeding. It's crazy. Good.

H-O-T-T-O-T-O and I know the sun's ago. But the man period thing is real. But I think it happens like every like five years that we go through it. Like it's like

like we start buying motorcycles and shit. Like that's when you know a man is on his period. Well, I think once a man hits like 32, he starts literally losing his mind. Like I think that's like the losing your mind. Dude, way before that. Yeah, it's literally like now, like 2000, when you're 21. I think at 26, I started losing my mind because I was like, oh, next year I'll be 27. And then 27, I was like, this is Kurt Cobain year.

And then 28, I was like, oh, I'm getting close to 30. Speaking of Kurt Cobain year, I'm thinking of my dead brother. My brother died when he was 27. And my grandpa, my dead grandpa. He was 27? Yeah. And you knew him? Yeah. How old is he? Wait, no, that actually doesn't make sense. Well, I lost a lot of life.

Yeah. It's crazy. And no one seems to care. I mean, we care. We care. And we're here to talk to you about it. I literally, I have always cared. I went to the party. I care. It's not a party, bruh. Opium son or brat daughter? Oh my God. At my mom's funeral, the guy who I used to buy stolen electronics from, literally at my mother's funeral, came up to me in a corner and was like, I was on the floor crying with my friends. And he came and he was like, hey.

hey like I'm so sorry about everything I was like yeah no it's it's it's okay thank you and he goes what laptop do you have right now and I was like what and then he was like which MacBook do you have and I was like I just I just got new and he was like okay because I have the one with the touch thing if you want it it's in the car and then I was like I just bought that one and he was like okay okay he was like and your camera like your camera's good still and I was like you

yes, my camera is good. And like us having this conversation with like a dead body in the next room, like that birthed me. Not only a dead body, but it was your mother. Like crazy vibes, like really crazy vibes. And honestly, respect. Like I don't even look back at that. Like people could be like, that's so fucked up. But I look back at that and I'm like, honestly, for some people, the grind just...

absolutely doesn't stop like they can't either stop i hadn't seen him in a while and he was like dude fuck i should put that laptop in the car because and you might want a new laptop even despite everything happening actually it made me make her happy even it made me i would laugh about it yeah she will laugh about you and then he was like when did you and then i he tried to convince me to return my laptop and buy it from him because he was like i could give you a really good deal like how much did you spend on it i was like i don't know i don't remember he's like because i could give it to you for like a thousand like you're going through it like i'll give you

Meanwhile, he got it for free. I know, literally. Hey guys, we want to take a break to thank one of today's sponsors, Dipsy Stories. As you can tell me and Drew have been trying to dabble more into reading this summer, so we're not just rotting on our phones all day. When you're packing a bag, you have your towel, a change of clothes, but let's not forget that spicy beach read. I too was once obsessed with reading Dipsy.

crazy stories because honestly, that's what I want. Like if I'm reading something, yes, every now and then I want something that's like intellectually stimulating. It's going to teach me some lesson, blah, blah, blah. For the most part, sometimes I just want to disappear into a story that sounds like drama. Drama is fun and it's even funnier

funner when you get to read it and you have nothing to do with the people and they're not real. They bring scenarios to life with immersive soundscapes and realistic characters. Deep Sea is an app full of hundreds of short, spicy audio stories. New content is released every week. So in between listening to your favorite stories again and again, you can always find something new to explore. For listeners of the show, Deep Sea is offering an extended 30 day free trial when you go to deepseastories.com slash indoor.

That's 30 days of full access for free when you go to D-I-P-C-E-A stories.com slash intercom. Dipsystories.com slash intercom. Get to reading. Okay, but Opium Center, Brat Daughter. Brat Daughter. None. I don't want kids. If you had to choose.

brat daughter i don't want a son boys are so boring like what am i gonna talk to my 14 year old son about like literally what am i gonna talk to you about like there's nothing there's nothing to talk about i have no idea what you're what's happening in your brain and it's like not fun like what are you gonna be like oh i like a girl like oh boo fucking tell i don't know tell someone who gives a fuck like don't tell me that shit like i want a daughter if i'm gonna have a kid period yeah i um

I actually want an opium son. Really? Yeah, but I don't think y'all are. I'm saying like addicted to opium. Why would you manipulate us? It's just funny how you wouldn't want to help a child that is addicted to a drug. I really wouldn't though. Like I wouldn't want to be in that position actually. I would help. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.

Like the movie. That's a good one. That's a good one. Well, I was peeing at... Where were we? Oh, at our gym. I was peeing in their urinals that are right next to each other. And a dude was standing at one of them. And I walked up to the one next to him and started peeing. And I like...

heard like a sound that I had never heard coming from like someone peeing at the urinal before and it sounded like really low to the floor and I was like girl what the fuck he left and walked away he literally just pissed all over the fucking floor and there was like a puddle of piss right where he was standing and it was like doing that thing where like the water is like yes and I like literally had to fucking run away and I was like holy shit I just saw like a serial floor pisser because like guys know like

there's always like a puddle of piss, like right beneath the urinal. And you're like, who the fuck is doing that? How is that happening? And I found someone that did it. And he was a very looking, normal looking dude. Like he was, he wasn't like some creepazoid. That's how he gets his rocks off. He's like, I'm fucking crazy. Damn a piss on the floor.

I might as well piss on the floor. I love pissing on the floor outside. Like, I love, like, a good, like, pop and squat. Like, oh, it's so fun. Like, that's honestly my dream. If I'm out at night and it's like, oh, there's no public bathrooms, like, it is now my mission to find somewhere where I can pee behind a tree. Like, I want to do it so bad. It's so fun. It literally, like, it's so freeing. Also...

I fucking hate unisex bathrooms with a urinal in it. That to me, like, why must I suffer? Why must I suffer? I hate going to like a bathroom and there's a urinal there. It makes me so fucking mad. Urinals piss me off. They're so fucking disgusting. It's just facing me like it's looking at me like I'm looking at the porcelain that has had piss all over. It's like its mouth is open. Like there's no covering it. Like we need to make a little lid or something.

something like there needs to be yeah there needs to be a lid there like it is so crazy but also i need to take a shot at pissing in a urinal because i feel like that would be like a fun experiment and i feel like i could do it like i really feel like i could do it but we don't have to talk about that because like that gets into details that i would never want public yeah that's my story

Okay, well, I got this email the other day that I thought was a troll when I first saw it, but then I reread it and I was like, and I saw, I didn't, cause I didn't see that the email included photos and it says it's from this random fucking dude. Oh wait, I think I just got got. Yeah, I got got. Damn. What? Let me see. Um,

um basically it's uh i have received this scary mangled picture along with an email now i don't know if you have something to do with this but i'm a man of god and will not take such evil actions lightly if you know what this could possibly mean or indicate please get back to me at this email address let me know if you need anything and then they included this um and this picture of me with my email address and then they sent the

photo um but i zoomed in on his profile picture and he's just a troll but dude that picture is so funny it's so scary why did you do that i didn't do that they they made it and sent it to me oh wait so i thought you made that and that's why you posted it like i thought you were just bored and you mingled your face like that no someone i got it from an email from rupert snow rupert snow yeah the person that just sent that email that i read um

But no, yeah, that photo literally cracked me up when I saw it. Because it's so fucking scary boots. Well, I think apartment should have to legally change to the toilet seat before I move in. Because...

I just think that piss like stays there. Like permeate. It just like, it literally like inhales like plastic to me, inhales that kind of stuff. So the idea that anybody is like, I could clean that thing with bleach all I fucking want, but somebody else's dirty ass cheeks have sat on that. Like that is so gross. And then even when I'm in the bath, sometimes I'm like, ew, somebody's fucking nasty butt has been on this fucking bath. The bubble has touched the porcelain. I literally cleaned that bathtub countless times even before I get in it. Like I'll give it a good wipe down and I'm just like,

ew, somebody else is just laid in here in their fucking filth. And then I'm like, oh my God, if they had a dog, they like wash their nasty fucking dirty ass dog in here. Like dogs are so fucking dirty. Like dogs, I'm canceling dogs. I'm not kidding. All dogs are canceled. Like they're not going to heaven. Like dogs are over.

They're dirty. They're literally dirty and they stink. Like they have such a stench to them. But I guess I can't talk because when Azul opens her mouth next to me, I'm like, oh my God, bro. Bro, his mouth smells like your vagina. Your vagina. Azul's mouth permeates like infinite tuna. Like it is infinite tuna in butt and shit. Like,

And then I hate when Azul puts her fucking butt in my face. I'm like, get that shit away from me. And is that a thing? Like, why do cats put their butt in your face? Like, is it because they want you to lick? They're like, take a lick. I literally think it is like, please, can you stimulate my butthole so I can shit? Like, because that's what like moms do to kittens. They like lick their kittens' buttholes to make them poop. Well, that is what I did to you when we first started living together. Well, yeah, because I was constipated. And you haven't done it in a few years. I mean, well, because it got tiring. And every time, like, when we moved in together. It's a health matter, y'all.

When we moved in together, I know everyone's seen the video of you surprising me, but what the video didn't follow is that I had to pick him up and go into the house and put him on the toilet like you would do with a cat with a litter box when you put them on the litter box the second they come in your house so they know where they have to poop. And I did that with Drew and he still missed all the time. I would wake up and there would be like a turd under the kitchen table. That's really gross. Yeah, also like I...

Like, people think, like, oh, like, Drew just likes having his ass eaten out. Like, no, I need, like, Inya needs to do it. It's, like, a medical necessity. That is so disgusting. Yeah, Kai, you're next, so don't fucking play around. I know, but it's the last time you pooped. No, no, no, I'm saying he's eating me next. Oh, okay. He's eating my fucking box. I'll probably do a good job at it, too. Well, what is that? Is that powder? Yeah. I thought it was clay. What is that? It's five pounds of Red 40.

- Have you been like? - Are you serious? - Yes. - What is that for? - I just bought it. Like I just been sprinkling Red 40 on all of my meals. 'Cause I was like, I feel like I'm not getting enough in my diet. So I just bought five pounds of it. - How much was that? - From literally Wuhan, China. I'm not kidding. Like I literally bought it from Wuhan.

You should open the bag though. Wait, how do you even get that? I tied it too tight. I can't get it open. Well, cuz you were thinking we were gonna- I know bitch y'all are gonna steal my shit. Like y'all want it so fucking bad. This is my fucking red 40. Dude, nobody wants that. Stay the fuck away from my red 40. No one has touched it. I don't care about that object.

But yeah, I got it to sprinkle on my meals. And then I was like thinking, oh, you know what we could do? Oh, are you okay? Yeah. Did that poke your eye? No, it like sprinkled all over my face. Whatever. I'm just ripping in. Might be a bad vibe. But I decided that I was like, oh, instead of doing...

The cinnamon challenge, I thought we could do the- Dude, your hands are shaking holding that. You're so nervous. I thought we could do the red 40 challenge because like- You want to do the red 40 challenge? Yeah, like a teaspoon or a tablespoon of red 40. That can't be good for you. That has to be like the worst thing. That's going to be so bad. You're going to get Alzheimer's in your head. Your hands are already red. You can have 3.1 milligrams of red 40 per pound in your body. I looked it up. Oh my God, it is dying me red already. Yeah, your fingers are red. Okay.

So you want us to do this with you? I'm not doing that. I like... I'll do whatever Drew says, but I don't want to do it. You're gonna fucking do it. What is it? Does it have a smell? Look at that color. Dude.

- What does it smell like? - Like literally nothing. - What's fucked up is my like animal brain is literally wanting it to smell like hot chips so bad. Like, ooh, like my mouth is watering at the idea that this was talkie powder. Why wouldn't you just buy talkie powder? - Because I wanted Red 40. Let me see if I can wash this off my hands first before I put this inside of my mouth and can't get it off. - Oh my God, Drew, we need to get you empty capsules and we need to put it into capsules so you can take your Red 40. - My daily, that's perfect.

Like, this is the problem is Drew doesn't buy himself anything of value. This is what Drew buys. Like, how much was this? I want y'all to guess. Five pounds of red 40. Oh, that had to have been like $70 at least. Kai? The red 40. It's five pounds. $46. $111 shit. Fuck. Yeah, but it was from Wuhan. Okay. You mentioned that.

Like it was shit, I mean like it was shit. What is Red 40? Is it like crushed beetles? I think it's like petroleum and crushed beetles. Red 40 challenge, y'all. I can't do it. No, do it, do it. Come on, you've been talking all that big game. I really don't think I can. Should we put it in the cottage cheese?

I mean, I've been putting it on. I want to make sure you're going to be okay. Yeah, Google it real quick. Let me look this shit up. Because I Googled it and it was like you can consume 3.1 milligrams per pound of body weight. Let me ask. And I was like, if I do a tablespoon. You should be fine.

But also, is it going to stain my mouth and teeth? My friend just bought five pounds of Red 40 concentrate powder, and he wants to do basically the cinnamon challenge, but with Red 40. And he's going to take a tablespoon and swallow it like the cinnamon challenge, but with Red 40 powder. Is that safe? Is he going to be okay? Ingesting Red 40 powder, especially in such a large quantity, is not safe. Red 40 is an artificial food dye.

that while approved for use in small amounts in food can cause serious health issues if consumed in large quantities. Taking a tablespoon of it could potentially cause severe reactions, including but not limited to nausea, vomiting, allergic reactions, and possibly even more severe consequences depending on the individual's sensitivity.

Your friend should not attempt this challenge. It could be very dangerous. Fucking off, bro. I know. Fucking loser. It seems fine. Yeah, it should do. That's just a fucking robot. Well, you should have prefaced it with the way Drew's been prepping for this. Like, some people prep for the Olympics. Yeah, I've been dosing it. Like, you know the people that were dosing E. coli before getting into the Times River? Yeah. All right, I think I'm gonna heed all warnings.

and just do it because I feel like that stupid fucking robot can't tell me what to do. And I'm also like,

a human being and it's a robot. I mean, I said, yeah, I was gonna say, I feel like you're just like being a little stubborn and if it's a safety hazard, then you just shouldn't do it. But like I was saying, I've been micro dosing red 40 might one my entire life. And especially like for the weeks leading up to this is like an order of magnitude, more red 40. So your body might reject it. You're like an order of magnitude, more gay. When you like talk shit, when you say it like that, I kind of agree. And I think you should, Oh, you agree with him. All right.

It's everywhere. It's like in the air. He's fine. He just had to wash his face. He's fine? No, he's fine. He sounds like he's dying. Drew? And he's crawling back. I'm looking out for him. It's a placebo. You're going to make it worse. Drew, you're fine. Just get up. Yeah, you're good. Oh my God, it stained you. He's been prepping for this for months. Just leave him alone. Drew, just get here. He's not in his body right now.

Oh, he seems happy. See, it's like back to the old Drew.

I'm just saying. All right, Drew. Well, it's time to get back to work because we got ads and whatever. I'm just saying. Yes. Yes. He's happy. Actually, it might have done good. Like a lot of people are like, oh, SSRIs. But like, I think the Red 40 challenge might make you happy. Look how happy he looks. He's happy. He looks miserable. It looks like he's going to throw up again. He already threw up before. I'm just saying. I'm looking out. I'm looking at. Well, the Red 40, it's like charcoal. So it cleansed his system.

Should we just get into media? Yeah, I guess. He'll come too. He'll come too. Yeah, he'll come. He just needs a nap. He's been up a long, like, it's already like 2 p.m. He's been up since 8 p.m. He might need like an IV or something. Remember last time he did this on the sidewalk and I was right. I was like, just, he'll be fine. Yeah. He ended up powering through that. Yeah. So he'll get through this. It's fine. Okay. Oh, okay. My media of the week is... Hey. Hey.

Like, the thing is, you're putting a lot of attention on it. And if you just let it go, he would be fine. And you're making it worse. I'm putting attention on something that is important. I guess the behavioral issues thing with Red 40 was right. Yeah. All right. Well, he's mad at me. So now I don't really give a fuck if he lives or dies. Okay. Attack. Attack. Dude, you're going to be stained for like the rest of the day. Your mama's going to be stained inside my pussy. Did it taste good though?

No, it actually tasted hella good. Yeah. Like, it tastes, like, really fucking good. It smelled good when it, like, came out of your mouth. Yeah, no, it was... Were you actually trying to swallow it all? Yeah. It just, like, dried out all my mouth, though.

I never even did, like, any of those challenges. Like, the cinnamon challenge. Do you want to try the red 40 challenge? Um, I think I'm good. I feel fine. I think it's, like, your thing, and you brought it to the episode, so I don't want to, like, steal your shine. It'd be, like, the songs all over again. Like, I just don't want to do that again. No, I genuinely, like, feel so okay. Like, I actually feel enlightened, borderline. There was, like, a moment there. Oh, it's like ayahuasca. It's kind of like an ayahuasca. Yeah, yeah. It was, like, a moment there where I was, like, seeing colors. Um...

Should we do media? We should do media. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Let's do media. I think I want to go to the hospital. Okay, I'm not doing that. You already... Please. No. You wanted to do it and you sit with that. I'm not taking you to the hospital. I'm actually scared. Take yourself to the hospital if you want to go so bad. I'm actually scared. My media of the week is Jacqueline Novak's stand-up was really, really fucking funny. What's it called?

I actually can't believe how stained my lips are from like putting that on my lips. Like it's kind of jarring how strong Red 40 is. Get On Your Knees by Jacqueline Novak was really fucking funny. Um,

Such a good watch and then my music media of the week is literally I've just been listening to a bunch of Chapel Roan That's like basically it and then the three songs I've still I've just been back to playing like the same four songs on repeat and it's can't do a thing by Chris Isaac you make loving fun by Fleetwood Mac Summer breeze by seals and Crofts and the boy wonders by Aztec camera and that's my media and

Mine is Red 40 Night Red 40 Cruising. Red 40. Okay. The Red 40 and the Pure of the Red 40 Damned by 10trickspoint. Red 40 Never and Red 40 Iggy Pop Red 40. The Red 40 Snow Queens of...

Texas Red 40. You're saying Red 40 a lot post. What? Oh, never mind. Red 40 mamas and Red 40 papas. Red 40. This is the Spinal Tap Red 40 movie. And mine is Belle and Sebastian. Dude, you should go to the hospital. We should go. We should take you right now. Yeah, I really want to. Because your skin looks very pale. Y'all can go. Why are you looking at me? Y'all can go. I have shit to do after this. It's just like you're my friend and earlier you said that you like love me. I'm your co-host.

That was fucked up. I'm serious. And that's your employee. That's not your fucking friend. I'm more than an employee. Will you take me to the hospital? Are you my friend? He said no. I'm all alone. That's why they made Uber. Am I wrong? Am I so wrong? That's why they made Uber. Red 40 Uber. Please. Red Fuber. Drew, sigh up corner, bitch. Y'all thought y'all didn't get it. Y'all thought you didn't get it. Drew, sigh up corner, red 40, because I will put one on for you right now, red 40. Okay.

All that crying we did at your graduation for you just to do DoorDash. I banned five people from the podcast today just to remind y'all that life isn't fair. I ordered a three finger combo from Cane's and all they gave me was chicken. Chick-fil-A tastes like they use the pussy of the bird. Okay. Pussy part of the bird.

"What if they released a freaky version of AirPods where they started licking the inside of your ears when they were low battery?" "Women are cute until they pull out a cigarette. Never mind, bitch. That's my mechanic." "Girls... bitches." - Is that it? - "My baby is so smart." - Wait, was that one? - No, no. I just-- I don't like saying "bitches," but it's what's written down. "Bitches."

Is the 4 for 4 still a thing? I think so. I think it's the biggie bag now. Yeah.

Looks maxing this, looks maxing that. Bitch, I'm trying to climax. Someone lick my balls. Hello? You're stalling. No, something actually seriously is not right. I was just paralyzed. I was just fucking paralyzed. I was just fucking paralyzed. I was just paralyzed! I was just paralyzed! I was just paralyzed! I was just paralyzed! No, guys, seriously, I was just paralyzed. Someone please, please, someone help me. I was just paralyzed. Please, please, please, please, please. I was just paralyzed. Guys, no, seriously, this is not good. This is not good. This is not good. Please, someone help me. Please, please, please, someone help me. I was just paralyzed. Look at me, look at me. Can you give me water? Water, water, water, please.

video ever. Do you know what he's talking about? No. There's this fucking kid who he was at a smoke session with all his friends and his friends started recording it because he was stuck like this. I think I do remember this. He was like, I was just paralyzed. Please call the police. You just did it so good. I was just paralyzed. I was just paralyzed. Someone please. Because I've been that kid before, bro. Oh my God. Okay, well thanks for listening, guys. This was a freaking treat. I didn't do it.

I think the camera's been off. Really? No. That scared the shit out of me. No, like off kilter. Like, it's not this way enough. Oh, yeah. I can fix it. I can fix it. That was great. Yeah. Inya. This is another Drew sign-off. Or this is Drew's stand-up. Inya. More like Dick's gazin-ya. Now we kiss. Now we kiss. Oh, we're kissing kids after that, Drew? Please, no.

No, one more. One more. It didn't feel good enough. The Rev 40 makes me fucking numb to shit. Ah, not my headband.