Popup world tour extravaganza & marriage counseling
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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon, spend less, smile more. - Camera's rolling. - We're about to make Musa movie magic. - Musa movie magic. - My name is Enya Umanzor.

And my name is Drew Phillips. You know why I was named Drew Phillips? Why? Because my dad was like, when he walks up to the plate when he's batting in the MLB, it's Drew just sounds so much better than like, um. Joe? Yeah. Drew Phillips. Kai would be like, Kai, like what? They'd be like, why are they saying why? Kai. Welcome to Emergency Intercom. We're here.

We're here in our house. Nothing weird is happening. There's no strings hanging down over there that apparently y'all hate. The last episode, somebody commented, I love them, but fuck these damn strings. And it was like this cute little light I have that has a bow on it, but only the strings were in frame. Sorry, sorry, we're not. We don't have set designers and it's just like run by us. And we're like doing all this like labor. It's all grassroots. Something.

It's all grassroots. Yeah, we're from the ground up. We're just really committed to making something that'll make people happy, and apparently that's not good enough, so I'm just like, I'm gonna fucking kill myself. Yeah, period, dot. Well, let's take out these iPhone notes and take a look at what I have written down.

Okay. I was eating a banana that one episode that someone got pissed at me. Oh, it was bread. Bread. You were macking on some fucking bread. It was crazy. It's because I was so hungover that I felt like if I didn't get anything in my body, I was going to like keel over. There's a trend there. It seems like you're hungover every single episode in some capacity. Oh,

I'm hungover, I'm fucked up, I didn't sleep, I got so high, I'm not gonna tell you what I got high on. Yeah, exactly. Do you know World of Shirts? I know you know World of Shirts, Josh. Someone made a TikTok account, because Josh was like, oh, I'm gonna, like, slow it down, like, thank you for calling me out, like, I am going a little too hard with alcohol. Respect, because he is, and it's, like, diabolical. But...

He immediately fell back into it because that it's just not, you can't just quit alcohol like that. And someone made a TikTok account going through every single one of his TikToks that he posts and getting a timestamp and like recording and records like the amount of alcohol he's drinking. So like from like,

at like 11 a.m. he'll have like a tall boy of like Mike's Hard Lemonade and then at like 4 p.m. 11 a.m.? Yeah, and then at like 2 p.m. he'll have a beer and then at 5 p.m. he'll have like another Mike's Hard Lemonade. I'm taking notes. Yeah, like and share. Take notes, like and share. Me about literally like the worst thing that ever happened to people at alcoholism. I'm like, oh yeah, I mean,

Yeah, but so that account is pretty interesting. But I'm also like, y'all are preying upon someone. Why are you pocket watching my boy? Y'all are pocket watching him. Alcohol watching him, bro. Like, leave him the fuck alone. But yeah, they also like, were tallying up how much he spends on alcohol a day. But I'm just like, y'all need to stop LOL cowing this dude.

boy he's like literally a person like it's so bizarre so guys you might find that the people you are making fun of are people you might find that exactly exactly they might be real they could be real they could be real people with real feelings behind them behind that iphone yeah

Well, I came up with an app idea and a lot of people would be scared. A lot of people will be using it. Yeah, a lot of people will be using it. And I think it's genuinely a billion dollar idea. Are you going to fucking say it or just like, wow, my name is Drew, I just say stuff and I don't like it at all. Oh, wow. Oh, my name is Drew, my name is Drew, I just had this good idea. Everyone.

Ever thought about writing a book that's not real? I haven't a good idea. Dude, that is so one of the funniest moments. Oh, my name is Drew and I greet Kai. I leave my hand on his lower back for a second. Oh my God. I hugged him and then I put my hand on his... This is why we need HR because you are attacking him. Yeah, yeah. You are attacking him. You're accusing me of things I never did. He would never do that. Wait, what? I didn't see you guys for like three weeks and then I see Drew and then he hugs me and squeezes...

my love handles and goes, I needed this. Well, he was... And it's my fault. It's crazy because if I show love to the people around me, I'm deemed evil. But if I don't, I'm deemed evil. So there's no winning. Like if you didn't touch car like that, he'd be like, I miss your touch. Your warm and tender touch. So it's like, what do you really want? Exactly. But anyways, the app idea. So...

I was just sitting there thinking, I was like, damn, there needs to be an app for this, but not for me, but for other people, obviously. But I'm thinking what needs to happen is there needs to be an app that like, okay, it tracks you in like the location you are at all moments of the day and like all the other users. It's almost like a social app. It tracks all the other users in their locations. And what we could do is like,

Hyper specify that out for gay people so gay people can meet each other and like hang out and go on dates and like love each other And do things like that and not do s like okay. So boy that's at all. I like What is it called?

Yeah, what would that app be called? I'm thinking about calling it like Diner or something like that. Like you go eat at a diner. Oh, you could call it like Finder. Like, oh, I'm finding a friend. Like Finder. Like, oh, you could call it Frender. Yeah, Frender. You could call it Backshots too.

Maybe. I just said it's not for sex, bruh. Oh, sorry. I just said that. And then there's another app idea that I can go into about like posting pictures online. Sorry, they're like scrubbing the fuck out of the window and it's like so violent. But we could also like make an app where like it's like a social app. Like I don't know if this is a thing yet, but like you can post like

pictures of yourself online and you have like a profile where people can follow you and you follow people and there might even be like a discovery page and like a place where you can message people privately and then there's comments and likes and stuff like that like we have it's that's instagram that one that one we have the other one the other one i was on board with you because we don't have that but i was thinking the other one we could do it for straight people because gay people get everything now yeah you call it front shots oh missionary we'll call that

one missionary we'll call that one missionary gay people will kind of we'll call it finding love and peace uh yeah i'll pluck those i'll tweeze for you oh did you do it to like contour your jaw yeah to make make my kai uh my kai bella why have we never talked about talked about that kai bella kai bella whoa that is crazy yeah and it's like kai bella yeah that's the vibe

It's just something I've been thinking about. That's really interesting. I'm, like, fucking tired of this set. I fucking hate this set. I hate sitting here. Well, then what are we going to do about it? I'm just going to move. Should we just fucking move? Like, this shit's fucking boring. We should just move to the living room or something. Like, I just, like... That might be hard, but sure. No, dude, like, watch. It'll, like, literally, like, Kai can cut it. Like, it'll take, like, three seconds. Yeah, it'll take, like, three seconds. Yeah, I was just, like...

Sitting in that fucking chair actually drives me crazy. How did you build this so fast? That was weird. It was pretty easy, honestly. Like, you'd be shocked what women can do when they put their minds to it. Oh, we let Kai sit in camera. So if you start to feel uneasy and you're like, there's a presence in the room, I don't know. What's up, guys? If you can, just, like, swivel so your whole back is turned to the camera. Oh, okay, so they can't see. Just like, yeah, I don't want you to be, like...

We have other chairs in the room too. You don't have to be like... Let him sit there. You're sitting like the most straight up I've ever seen any human sit on a chair. How do you sit cool? Love yourself. You're supposed to manspread. Take up your space. You deserve this space just as much as everybody else. Honestly, thank you. We want to see an aura emanating from your balls. What the hell is emanating? How do you say it?

I actually don't know how to sit. Omulating is not the best chair. When I was building it, I was like, this doesn't feel like the most ergonomic chair. You did not build this chair. It was crunch time. In this chair, it really does feel like I'm giving you couples therapy. Let's try it out. How was this last week, guys? Fucking horrible. She's a bitch. I hope she burns in hell. I hate her.

Dude, okay, cool. How do you feel about what he just said? I mean, I'm shocked and I'm taken aback because I thought we had an amazing week. We made love every single night and it was difficult to keep going. He had many moments where he couldn't keep it up, but you know, there's pills for that now. And I've been going to my church group. I've been going to my church group a bunch on the Grindr app. Yeah, well, no, on Finder. Finder app. Wait, the craziest thing is...

No, I'm not even going to get into it. Have you guys talked about, just as your therapist, have you guys talked about the fact that Drew's gay and maybe that is what is... Oh, we pay you to fucking sit here and make shit up? Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm sorry. Can you please come back? Drew, can you come back, please? I don't know what I said. We can keep going. What are they singing to me now?

My god me. I'm just trying to help you this is like an existential problem in your relationship No, honestly now. He's still going he's still going you should fucking leave this sound that the mic made when I hit the ground I wanted us to cut and I wanted you to come back Okay, so

To get back into it, in the last episode... Okay, to get back to it. Okay, perfect transition. Can I fucking live? Can I fucking live and breathe? I don't know if I'm allowed to. Okay. Right, right. Okay, so in the New York episode, I posted a picture of my screen time. And in that screenshot, at the very bottom of it,

I didn't crop it correctly and... Wait, what was in there? Actually, it's not even that fucking big of a deal because it's the Grindr app and it's fucking for churches and y'all should be praising me and thanking me that I was on the Grindr app for 13 hours, 12 hours, whatever the fuck. I know, you were dedicating a lot of time to God. It's because you had a hard week, you needed some relief, some stress, some pleasures and you find pleasure in God. You can't do shit.

anymore, bro. You can't live your life. I feel like I'm attacked every day for being a Christian. Yeah, I mean, it's hard. Like, we're just living in a day and age where it's more normal to follow your zodiac sign and not God. It's like, what are we even, we're headed towards dark times and my friend can't even use the app that finds him peace and love and fills him with so much joy. Fills me, like, fills me deeply with joy. Yeah.

Getting stuffed with joy. Well, should we talk about how Drew locked me out of the house? Drew, actually, we had a bad week because he fucking locked me out of the house because he fucking hates me now. I was over it. Wait, no, we need to preface this because this space in general has been like very stressful for us and I was falling asleep very early, but now take it away.

Okay, so if you haven't noticed, we're in the pop-up space. By the time this episode comes out, we're headed into the last weekend of it being around. So if you're in LA, you should, oh my god, you should pass by. Hopefully by then there will be throw up and piss all over the floor from the fans. And if you little fucking rodents steal something, we have armed guards that will shoot you, motherfucker. So don't touch shit. I

I see all your little snarky comments. By the way, guys, now that I'm on camera, I am on my phone, but I'm taking notes. Like, I'm working. I'm not, like, on Instagram or, like, playing games. We're going to zoom in. Dude, he's on Frender, too. That app is spreading really quick. The truth is spreading really quick. Anyways, we've been here every day, like,

we've been planning this for a really long time, but then like once I had to go into motion, um, I don't think we took into account the stress that it was of like setting up a space, moving everything. We are freaks and we have control issues. So we were like, we need to do everything on our own because we're freaks and we need help and we should maybe take medication. So our life is easier, but that's neither here nor there. Um,

And we've been going home and knocking the fuck out and going to sleep super early. And yesterday I had committed to going and meeting up with somebody for the first time. I was like, I need to just do it because I need to make it so that I can hang out with this person in like normal casual settings. And it doesn't have to be like the big scary thing that adults do where it's like, yeah, let's get dinner and like meet for the first time. Yeah, no. Never that. Never that. Meet, M-E-A-T. Give me your meet. Sit with that. Oh, I am. I did nothing wrong. Yeah.

Oh, I feel good. I love myself. I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I can't believe I miss reading ads. I miss the taste. But...

My dinner with this person ended really early. Like earlier than I thought. Thank God it ended earlier because you would have actually been fully comatose by the time I got home. On the way home, I realized I didn't have my keys because we had to go drop off a car. Drew just had my fucking car. He had my car and my car keys because he doesn't let me have my own car on Fridays because he knows that I'll go on the street and I'll get my shit ran through and he doesn't fucking trust me anymore. So he hides my keys. So I have to sneak out my window and take an Uber but getting back inside is the worst part and it's really difficult

And how is this my fault? Because you're taking my fucking keys. You've proven time and time again that you can't handle having your car on the weekend. And this is what happens. Well, I didn't even do anything. I met up with like one person. One. Okay, five. There was five involved. And it was on video. And she's lying again. And we're posting it on IG stories today. So make sure you go and interact.

Ask questions about it. Tap in. Tap the fuck in. Anyways, I fucking started heading home at 10.15 and I called Drew. His shit went straight to voicemail because this motherfucker apparently doesn't pay his fucking phone bill. Actually, it's because he uses his goddamn iPhone all day and then if he doesn't put it on the charger, it's not going to be useful. And I headed home. I think I called Drew 40 fucking times. What are you doing?

Don't touch tuna box on camera. Oh my god fuck off motherfucker. That's her name everybody was always like what's her name? Yeah, no, that's her tuna box She doesn't have a name yet, but not to the box. Are you talking about Gilbert Godfrey?

This is Gilbert. This is his gunk. Yeah. Does it have a penis on that one? Why don't you take a look? You don't want to know. You're going to be very frightened when you take a look. It is. Really? To size. Watch your finger. Bye.

It bites. Watch your fingers. No, it literally does. It has a mouth. Okay, sick. I will look at that later. It's girthy. Once the camera's off. It's like Five Nights at Freddy's except the private parts of these dolls eat the people. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Yeah. Because we believe in punishment for pleasure. Totally. We're very Catholic over here. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Drew's building an app for people to get a church. Yeah.

I love that. You should actually make it and like it could just be like a really low rendered out app. But it should be Churcher. You would get in so much trouble. Churcher.

Anyways, I called Drew 45 fucking times. Probably. Like, that's my assumption. I called him so many times he wouldn't wake up. None of them went through. None of them went through on his phone. So my phone just makes it look like a crazy person. I literally felt like someone's crazy ex waiting outside after going out for a drink and being like, let me in. Let me in, please. This video is literally me to Drew. But she called me 75 times, but like,

Please! Just let me have sex one more time. That was me to Drew last night trying to get into our own house. But, like, in the most unlucky way, my phone... I never let my phone die for some reason. And my phone died last night right before I went to bed. So I put it on the charger. And iPhones, if you put them on the charger dead, they don't automatically turn back on. So my phone was just off.

and so you called me 150 times i literally called you 25 times yeah and crazy crazy girl i called him from 10 15 to 10 45 and i think what woke you up like this didn't wake you up but i got a video of it and like we're gonna try and crop this so that people don't see the front door so they don't kill us and murder us i got this awesome picture of me sitting at the

front door because i was so cold and i also had it eaten and i was so fucking hungry i was cold i was hungry i was scared that i was gonna get killed because the murderers come out at night to play and kill me the killers i think what woke you up subconsciously was i had a huge brain moment and i connected to my home pod and the tv and i blasted ice spice for like 25 minutes

Not 25 minutes, but I blasted it for like 10 minutes on and off. And I kept starting it over and over again because I was like, this has to wake him up. But he says that's not even what woke him up. I really, I really, like what happened is I got home and like, I, even in my head, I was like, fuck, I need to go to the gym because we're, the hot water at our house is being shitty right now. It's only hot for three seconds. So I need to shower. And so I was going to go to the gym and like,

It's our own fault. But ironically, we pay our bill for the first time in two years and we don't have hot water. Yeah, our shower is broken, but we've been too busy to get it fixed. So every day I subject myself to a cold shower before bed. Yeah, it's hell. And then now it's like...

63 degrees in our house when we wake up so I like had to take a cold shower this morning and like I swear to God my nipples like almost like fell off my fucking body like they were so hard they could have ripped through like a shirt but what happened is I just like no wait he had something to say about that I was just like like how hard were they like how hard did they get at their hardest like how hard did they get diamond

Diamond. Have you guys experienced any dopamine boosts? No! Joe Rogan says that your dopamine just skyrockets. I have never been so much closer to death.

I literally, I close my eyes and in my dreams, I'm battered and bruised. Wait, I'm so confused by this conversation right now. Oh, because of cold showers. They say cold showers like lift your spirits. No, no. Literally, like when I get out of the shower, I actually for like...

five seconds contemplate killing myself because I'm so cold like I'm just like oh it'd be easier to be dead literally gets down to like 62 degrees we just started running the heat finally but we woke up one morning and it was 62 degrees in the house and we were like this is no way to live yeah we must turn on the heat this is crazy and then add like the cool like hot air smell that kind of like fills up like yeah when it burns all the dust like yeah it's like it's like oh it's finally time to get cozy again oh my god have you ever been comfortable

Wait, hold on. Look how comfortable I am right now. You were saying what woke you, your nighttime plan for locking me out of the fucking house. I fully entered REM sleep and I was only asleep for like max an hour. Max an hour. That's my drag name. That's fucking bad. I just can't win. No, I was asleep for like maybe an hour total.

And I think what woke me up was, one, being, like, hella fucking cold. Two, my TV show was really fucking loud. And three, right before I went to bed, I, like...

Burger King because I wanted the orange burger. That was the most jarring part is getting there and standing outside realizing not only am I locked out, but I'm hovering over the stinkiest bag of food. And I was like, it was the orange burger from Burger King. Can you actually blame me? I didn't know they had one. I was telling you.

- I was texting Sabrina, I was like, bro, I'm literally fucking locked out and like, this is the worst day. I'm like so tired, I'm so stressed out. I need to wake up early, this is a nightmare. And then I was like, I just feel like I'm like going through it. And I was like, but I'm not alone because Drew ordered Burger King. So that motherfucker is in a bad place. Like to get on Postmates earlier,

early enough in the day that your options are endless. It was like 8.39. And you have to look up Burger King because Burger King isn't like, you don't open Postmates and Burger King's at the top. I just wanted the orange fucking burger and the chicken fries. Wait, what is that? Is it orange flavored or orange colored? No, it's orange colored with black sesame seeds all over the top and it's supposed to be like spooky Halloween and it's ghost pepper and jalapeno. Anyways, I think subconsciously...

When we were at the concert, I keep cutting you off. I'm so sorry. This is the last time. But when we were at the fake concert and me and Josie were getting a drink, I did my fake laugh. And I finally got a real reaction out of someone. Oh, yeah. And like hit Josie. And he goes, oh. And I was like, what? Is there something wrong with my laugh? And he was like, no. It's like, it's almost like an alarm. And I was like, that's a rude thing to say about someone's laugh. And he was like, no, come on. And I was like.

Okay, I'm just never gonna laugh again. And then he just was like laughing and I was like, something's wrong with you. Yeah, it was a really jarring moment. And also at the Faye Webster concert, I was moshing. We'll insert the video here. Oh my god, you need to stop. You're getting sick.

Wonderful moment. So you decided you hate yourself so much you were going to get the spooky burger on November 15th. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I wanted... A month after they're expired. It has like jalapenos on it, all that shit. Ordered at 5.30. It said it was going to get there at like 9.10. Actually, we can check what time it got there. But...

i think said consciously in the back of my brain i was like i need to eat dinner and this is like my dinner so i need to eat it sat outside for like an hour i still ate it but for some reason i took one bite of that burger and then just like vomited for like five minutes and inya wasn't home at this point she had gone back out to do whatever the cheat on me or some like i don't know what the hell she was up to i gotta get my look back

But I was like throwing up and I texted and I was like, dude, I'm like so sick. Like, I don't know if I'm going to be able to go tomorrow. Woke up fine. After I threw up, I felt like literally the best I've ever felt in my life. Ate the entire Burger King meal. And then I ate an entire salad or not like half of a salad and then a little cup of mac and cheese. So I ate two dinners last night.

Oh my god, lucky you. At like 11 and 1. You know what it was? It was because your stomach, you were on that app that you shouldn't be using anymore. And you threw up the gay demons. So that's why you felt so good after. Because you were back to being my man.

My man. My straight man. My man, my man, my man. But yeah, Drew fucking locked me out and I literally, I was like, this is pushing me. I feel like that's what dogs do. Push me to the edge. All my friends are dead. They'll like be really sick and they'll throw up and they'll like... Eat the vomit. Be completely fine and then like eat the vomit and then continue. That's what Drew did. His Burger King clothes and he really wanted that fucking burger. Right. I love vomit. I have a bunch of notes. Okay.

Do I, before you go into the notes, do I look cool right now? You look epic. In camera, you look probably, like, scared. Really? Somehow. No, no, no. You look good, bro. Okay, I look sick. Bro, you're killing it, bro. Because I'm kind of trying to, like, have, like, one arm back. Yeah, you're trying to be chill. It's a vibe. It's a vibe. You're, like, your legs are a little stiff. How do you sit at dates? How do I? Like, do you get, like, extremely conscious of your, like... I'll be, like, fully, like...

Like this just staring. So you'll be the killer at your dates? No, I'm being present when you like that. Like being up in their grill and shit. Overly present in your own body. So you can't even hear what the person is saying. Oh my freaking God. You're so fucking beautiful. Like, oh my freaking God. I would love to make you smile all night long because that smile. Holy freaking crap. Like seriously, like holy freaking crap. Okay. But you would look better without makeup. Can I just say like, oh my God. Like literally what the hell. Like, sorry to interrupt you, but you.

Holy crap, you look amazing tonight. Oh my freaking gosh. I need to sit down. I am sitting down already. I gotta call the waiter over here to get a picture of us together. I need to remember this night for the rest of my life. I gotta show this to our kids. Kai's an incel. No, I'm not.

I'm not. Yeah, he's an incel if your name was Cell because he's all up in you. Yay! I saved you with that. You did. Kai's got Riz, like unspoken, quiet Riz. I have Riz. Okay, actually, speaking of this, relationships are so fucking funny because some of y'all look so goofy standing next to each other. Like, sometimes I just look at couples and I'm like, look at you. That's not... I don't claim this bitch. You look goofy because your husband's gay.

Tell him you're not. I'm not gay. I'm not okay. Yeah. Okay, I believe that. I'm not gay. I'm not okay. I am not okay. Oh, wow. Okay. Oh. That was good. You're a nasty man. I'm a nasty woman. But yeah, I saw a picture of like a couple. With a president who looks like he bathes in Cheeto dust. Yeah.

Wait, what is it? Obama's not my president. Fuck. Oh, but I would vote for him. Like, is that girl from Canada who she, like, made a rap about Obama? Whatever. I have no idea. You're flopping right now. I don't know what the hell you're talking about. Well, I stumbled upon pimple chicken and cum chicken all in one night, if anybody wants to see what that looks like. Wait, what chicken? What are you even saying? Cum chicken? Okay, so. What are you talking about? I watch. Also, where can I get some?

If that's what it is. Tell me that's not pimple chicken. Okay, so it looks good, right? It looks delicious. And it's like, okay, what's he going to do? Is that butter? Listen to the way he says butter. Butter. Look at that. Oh, like popped pimple chicken. And then...

Okay, actually I was like what the hell are you saying you're exaggerating but no you're right. It's nasty. It's quite literally pitbull chicken and cum chicken.

I want the second one. I want the second one so bad.

Okay, something I've been seeing a bunch of is like these like videos that like are

obviously fake, like the most fake shit ever. It's almost like they're, they're recorded on sets. They're paid videos. Like they pay these people to make them. And they're like of like situations like, um, surprising his wife, um, coming home from the military early or something and like things like that. And like, or like teacher yells at student and like they scream at each other and like the teacher or the student takes up for themselves and like

It's just shit like that. And, um, sorry, what was I saying? Drew, your hand is like, what the fuck? I was like, I was like, I can't do shit. I can't put my hand anywhere. I want to put it all.

fucking day because tuna box perma stenches like instinctually just went back to the pussy part of the doll the pussy part of the bird they put the pussy part of the bird in kfc i swear to fucking god they put the pussy part of the bird in kfc and chick-fil-a gay like they did they did something different without chicken it's a juicy chick-fil-a oh okay i was like heard you say something else still has his hand there dude he's cold you can't just let him get a little fucking warm damn oh my god i thought you'd be on my side

What the fuck was that? You looked so scared. Yeah. What else is new? I'm filled with terror. What was I saying? Oh, the fake videos. So there's like hella fake videos online and then they have like

millions of likes like not views likes tens of millions of views millions of likes and then you go into the comments and every single comment believes it and has like 50,000 60,000 70,000 got something to say yeah literally like shut the hell up challenge um but every comment like believes it and i'm just like damn dude like

And misinformation, like, really is, like, going to be the fall of the American empire. Like, this is crazy that, like, it's not even, like, going to see a movie. The American empire? Since when are we calling it that? Yeah, it's tea. It's literally the tea of the situation and all of that. But, um...

Yeah, it's like the actors like busted. Yeah, they're beat as fuck like it'll be like oh my god But then you think about that and then like these are people who can't even communicate to their friends to be like hey what you did hurt me So it kind of makes sense that like they see them. They're like dude. I've never seen somebody had to cut off another fake bitch Like that's their vibe is like they're like I have to cut this bitch off no speaking and bitches who lie yeah like

She cheated on her partner with my boyfriend, like fake bitches. I think that's kind of a valid one, though. Yeah.

You're one of them. You're one of them. Me having sexual relationships with your mother has nothing to do with me cheating on you. You told me I was allowed to do that because I'm keeping it in the bloodline. And as long as it's your mom or your sister, I can do it. That's what you said. And you said especially if it's your sister because it's just like you but a girl. Your guys' relationship is beyond toxic. I've never...

- My other clients are Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith. - I was gonna say, 'cause we're brutal. - And you guys are way worse. - They call themselves like, I think, Brutiful. Like it's brutal and beautiful. - Logan Paul, Jake Paul, RuPaul. The Paul brothers.

- Where'd that come from? - You just said RuPaul and I thought of RuPaul's Stiltz skin, Rumpelstiltskin, RuPaul's Drag Race. It came to me, but someone made a picture of that and it just deepened my fucking psyche for some reason. - Well, I can't stand bitches who drive the speed limit. - Oh, literally. - It pisses me off. - It should be illegal to drive the speed limit. - No, it needs to be illegal to drive the speed limit. If you were on the highway and you were actually doing 55,

I'm going to start throwing rocks at your back windshield. I drive the speed limit. In fact, I'll go 54. I can tell. Just in case I get a little tired and I...

Accidentally, you know accelerate. Oh good guy tired anyway, so actually you're a fucking menace to society I stay up never though. Nah, you'll never catch us tired. Oh me and this girl We don't get tired. Never just ate a burger and passed out Has any morsel of food he will pass out I watched him and

take a small bite of a banana because he was scared that if he ate the whole banana he would fall asleep this motherfucker needs to go to a doctor like it's like actually a problem and he was also he was eating the banana secretly because i we were in here like filling it out and doing like people don't need to see me eat a fucking banana oh i've seen you eat more than a banana what now you're you're actually pissing us off you're actually pissing us off telling us we're toxic

You guys hired me. You guys hired me, okay? Do I look cool now? Now that I'm more relaxed? I'm going to fucking fire you and throw you on the street. I'm going to go in your house and throw everything out the windows. It would be cool if you just threw me through this window. There's a few people I could fully pick up and throw out windows. People underestimate how strong I am. Yeah, well, women are super fucking strong. I'm a badass.

bitch women are beautiful and strong like unironically women are beautiful as fuck and vaginas look good too guys right dude pussies look amazing don't say that word damn you got up there that sounded good all right well wait wait wait i'm fucking done no i'm not talking anymore i'm done i'm done for the episode i let out my last cry my last cry for help and nobody fucking listened

- Per usual, I'm always like, "Help me, help me." - Oh fuck, I can't believe I literally forgot about this, but on the way home from dropping off the truck last night, we had to rent a truck for this shit and it was like three hours away and it was hell on earth and we had to like drive there and back like 18 times. It was just like the worst fucking vibe ever.

But on the way back, I dropped Enya off at her little dinner with her friend because she's not allowed to have her car or her keys. And he has to make sure the friend I'm seeing, I'm not having sex with. I have to vet them every time. But...

That's crazy. I dropped her off and like literally five minutes away. I See a dead body in the middle of the street And then I see a police car going this way and a police car going that way with lights shining everywhere Like looking I'm assuming looking for the person that did it but I literally saw a dead body or what I'm assuming to do it be a dead body because no one was fucking helping this person but they were just laying there. The killer was passing. Yeah

Yeah, I was revisiting the crime scene. It was you? You did it? I was revisiting the crime scene. Because it's too hard to get to Central Park and like dig up the bodies that he always talks about. Central Sea Park. Why did you choose Central Park? I've always kind of wondered that. Because I love Central Sea. Oh, I didn't think about that. I mean, I think you started that before, but...

I guess in a way you predicted him? No, I've been like a really early Central Sea fan like before all you bitches. Like I've just known him for decades. Oh, you're just different. Yeah, you're different. Since he was like in like Europe or wherever the fuck he's from. Like... We were at the...

like eating chips and beans and tomatoes yeah i love i literally love that joke so much that like the british eat like they're germany's still flying overhead dropping bombs like like their beans and their tomatoes and their blood like they just eat blood every morning like you're crazy it's like a sausage filled with yeah it's crazy honestly i ride for that breakfast i think that's a good breakfast but both times we've had it together

You were like, this is gross. Well, because I feel like we've only had it at the worst places ever. Like, we had it with Elsie and she was like, this is like a worst example of it. But I have had it once and that it was good at one spot. Can you please never touch me again? It was in Paris, guys. You just have to go to the root of the food you want. Um.

Paris food sucks dick. Yeah, it does. It really does. Dude, what the fuck? Stinky short strip. Beans on toast is too lit. I used to eat refried beans spread on toast. That shit is so fucking yummy. Oh, look. Kai's on there. Am I on there? Wait, what is that? Is it actually me?

No, that's not you. It's Josiah. That's not you either. What is on here? Was it Silent Hill 2? It's Silent Hill 2. It's really mean, but I'll show you after because it has to start over. Oh, it was a mean thing. Yeah, it was me being malicious. I was expecting to see like a very cool... There you are.

I was expecting to see a very cool, confident guy. We saw Kai driving yesterday. It was a dude that looked just like you. It was scary. I tried to get a picture of it. The amount of guys that look just like me, it's insane. Yeah. I get tagged every day on TikTok. I get tagged in like 30 things, and it's the same guy. It's all the same guy. Is it the perfume guy? I'd be so fucking pissed if I'm just living my life and people are tagging this person I don't know. Dude, there's so many iterations of me.

on TikTok that I've gotten tagged in over the last month. It's fucking insane. One of them is this kid that dances really well. Well, you dance good. I do dance incredibly. Yeah, you see the butt crack that was out? Every once in a while, there's just an ass hanging out. Oh, like somebody passes with their butt crack out? Like, no. Oh, on here? On here, yeah. Oh, okay. All right. Do you want to hit your psyop corner? I only have one psyop corner today, but... Oh, my God. I'll just say this. I don't believe in babies.

I think babies aren't real. I think there's only three babies that are real because I don't see babies other than the three that I see. That is true. It's rare to see babies just out and about, but I guess they're babies. So like how often are you just like taking them to like the hookah bar? Cause that's where we hang out. So usually we wouldn't see a baby at a hookah lounge. We smoke hookah and shit.

Yeah, we love hookah. We're obsessed with going to hookah lounges together. We get a bottle, we get the girls out with the fireworks, and we're like, what? I've been, like, fading away slowly through this podcast. Like, I feel crazy. Okay. Drew, sigh up, corner. Drew, sigh up, corner. Oh, that is not. Drew, sigh up, corner. Drew, sigh up, corner. All of this for one? Okay.

Daylight savings is weird. It's only 740, but it feels like I'm going to kill myself and then die alone Wow, can I make a best hire? Oh, yeah, like just freestyle it. Yeah. Yeah, go for it Okay, every squad every squad has an enigmatic Magnetic beautiful queen and yeah and an incredible ball of energy. Okay

King, Drew, and a stupid jester that should be left out in the rain and maybe pushed in front of a car. No, no, no, no. A beautiful, comfortable, like, wears a white T-shirt guy. Okay. Confident, so happy that he found it in himself to leave the house because if I looked like him, I wouldn't.

Guy in a white t-shirt. I'll fucking take that. I'll take that. Thank you guys Your bravery astounds me and you will never not be seen you have so much confidence Like if I had even a sliver of your confidence, I'd probably be a millionaire if I had a sliver of your confidence I'd be up there. Wow guys. Thank you so much Oh my god, thank you

Me watching it back when I edit it and seeing what you're doing. A tear falling down your face. You print it out frame by frame and your whole wall is covered in it. If you spin fast enough, you just watch it. You know what Drew's whole wall is covered in? Cum. Cum, yeah. I knew you were going to say that. Look me in the eyes. I can't. It's hard for me.

Alright, we gotta go because I got a Mac on that tuna box before we get to, like... Oh my... Fuck, we need to do a media. We need to do a media. I've just been watching a lot of South Park. That's, like, literally all I do.

Kai, we haven't hung out in a while, but I got a stizzy and I just hit my stizzy. That's her media. My media is I chief on my stizzy and I watch so much fucking softball. That is equally super sad and super sick. Yeah, it's like I need it. If I don't get it, I will die. My media is Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Anything he's ever done.

I wasn't expecting that. I've been watching Gen V. It's like a spinoff of The Boys, and it's goaded with the sauce. It's pretty cool. I really, really enjoy it. Why do you talk like that? Oh, fuck off. How about that? And then I like Interface Corrupted by Sugars. I like this. Oh, wait. Why don't we do physical media? Eat that butt. Eat that butt. Eat that butt. Eat that butt.

I just came to fuck, but she want me to eat that. Damn. I like physical media. Let's do that more. No. Why are you... What are you...

How are you doing? Oh, those are our pop-up shirts that we have in the space. But yeah, thank you guys so much for watching. If you're around LA and you want to come around and look at our physical media, help, help. Fuck. If you've ever wanted to touch our stuff, and I don't mean our private parts, come by the Heaven Gallery. We have art.

We have media. We have love. We have love. We do. We do have love. And yeah. All right.