Our life is a movie
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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon, spend less, small more. Hi guys, welcome back. We're almost there. Almost there. Hey, this is Drew and I'm crazy. And I'm Inya. And I am so crazy too.

You're not as crazy as me. Everything is crazy. We are so crazy. Look at me. And I'm so crazy. Because you think you're the crazy girl, but I'm the craziest girl because you're not as crazy as me. I'm the crazy person. I'm the crazy person. I'm the lazy person. As you can see, we are still in New York. We are back in the Stray Rats office using their space for free as we should be. Let me just tell y'all something.

I just got a sneak preview. Of the next drop? I think so. Is that true? Is that true?

And that shit goes fucking hard. It goes so fucking crazy because I'm so fucking crazy. Who the fuck is the Babadook? I already said that in the last episode or in one of the episodes we filmed. But seriously, like, where does... Actually, that was my problem. I didn't look up where the Babadook came from. But, like, that was cracking me up in bed the other day. The Babadook is, like... I feel like I'm so late. I never saw the movie. It's the greatest name of all time for any character. It's literally Booby Allah. Like...

- Bogabilla, shout out Bubiala. If y'all know anything about Bubiala, it's that it's my dream vacation spot with Orion. One day we'll end up there, but it's a port city in Australia. So it's like a concrete jungle, similar to New York without all the buildings and fun. It's really just a shipping yard. But I really wanna visit Bubiala 'cause that name is so fucking funny.

Bro, the Babadook only was originated in the early 2000s. To me, the Babadook has a name that rings back to the 1700s. Like old Saint Nick. Yeah, to me, the name Babadook is when humans first realized they could make up words and they were just kind of going crazy. Just making sounds. That's what freaks me out about so many words is genuinely how did we get there? And I know I could look it up. I'm sure there is a very in-depth

demonstration of how like words just started happening but imagine the first human to hear their fucking voice like were they just silent like i don't know it freaks me out you should take a page out of their book before language is invented and be silent yeah okay

Thank you. Finally. I haven't had a moment of silence in years. The old ball and chain is always talking. The old ball and chain. Fuck, what was I going to say? It was piggybacking off of Babadook and Boobie. Oh, my Halloween costume, y'all.

I really need help. I really, really need help. Well, do you want to say what... Okay, also, this is July. I know. Well, I've been thinking about it since January, y'all. Like, it's really important to me that I have, like, an advanced costume. What's crazy is it's not, like, it'd be one thing if you were, like...

and like those like girls who really go in for their outfits. Like they commit and they like go in and they get like a full custom beat and like fit and everything. - Oh wow. - But you just throw, you order. - Eat the fuck down. - You order something on Amazon like a week before. - Yeah, I'm eating this order off Amazon. No, y'all it's really important to me. I've just set the bar so high several times

I basically invented outfits for people to do and they copy me now, which I am fully down for. I'm like, yes, I'm a genius. I guess gay little monkey is huge. And the pain-eating grandpa. Yeah, a pain-eating grandpa is pretty huge. Harry Styles was a good one. Damn, you have had bangers. They're all bangers and I'm having a fucking conniption fit thinking about my next one.

well the problem is if somebody recommends an outfit like in Halloween outfit to you you're gonna be like upset that you're taking somebody else like they're gonna like give me yeah well it's a brass hammer duh we got into how the remix album is coming soon I'm lying I don't actually know if that's true yeah the remix album is coming soon and we're gonna be on it for real this time um no but

It's very important to me. So should we tell them my ideas or if I tell them it won't be a surprise anymore? - The thing is one of your ideas you cannot fucking do. - Which one?

The I'm so crazy. Oh, the bag of chips on the head. Y'all see that's a banger. Like gluing a bag of chips to a headband and walking around like I'm that girl in the grocery store. Like I got a bag of chips. I can't take her anywhere. She's so crazy. Isn't it like she took the picture of herself? She put the bag of chips on her head and she was like, you can't take me anywhere. I think that's what it is.

See, that's a banger. See, there's something about you. You're something like you can't take me anywhere. It's like you're not that crazy. No. Like you're just not that crazy. She's crazy. I'm going to look up. Bag of chips on girl's head. Crazy. She's so crazy. Love her. Okay, wait. Oh, so her friend did post it. You know what I'm thinking of? I'm thinking of like the girl who's doing the regular selfie and then she's like...

like sticking her tongue out like making a funny face. I don't know. It's like her like smiling normal and then she's like, you know what I'm talking about? I vaguely remember but that just reminded me of us dabbing today. There are so many like beautiful moments that the internet has given us. It's actually unbelievable. Also, we really need to stop quoting random

memes and stuff oh my god with devon last night bro last night we were at uh dinner with devon after the after the mark jacobs thing it's just so small that i forget that like we do it like is that weird to say like i just just so like our life is a movie like our life is actually a movie it's a movie but it's regular for us now yeah it's been so used it's basically a documentary at this point like it just gets boring by the end um

You feel like you already learned. It's like a docuseries where you're like, okay, I watched three episodes. I kind of know what's happening. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And you already had it leaked three years prior because the story already happened. Whatever. But we were at dinner with Devin and me and Inya like in unison both go, sorry. Sorry.

saturday because we were like what day did you get here and she was like the 29th and i was like oh that was saturday and me and you go saturday saturday for saturday but she the thing is she said it back so she's like oh saturday for saturday and then come to find out i thought she'd seen the video and i was like oh my god this is like a once in a lifetime thing where we quote something really stupid to somebody and they know what we're talking about and then we were like oh my god you've seen the video and she was like what video and we showed it to her and come to find out that her

her sister Sydney and their friend Drew. They have a friend Drew too. Yeah. Because it's like everybody needs a Drew in their life. They quote it to her all the time but they've never showed her in the video. Do you mean everybody needs a Drew in their life? No. I was just saying that because like

I don't know. I like had to fill up the rest of that sentence. Usually when I say something nice, it's because I had to fill up a sentence. It's not coming from my heart. It's not genuine. No, I'm actually very complimentative and I mean it because I'm a bad liar. So if I meet you and I don't give you a compliment...

- That's a bad sign. - Yikes. That's also a lie, 'cause I don't want anybody to meet me and then I'm not like, "You're beautiful," and they walk away and they're like-- - She thought I was ugly. No, I'm not even just joking when I say this. Every single person that's ever come up to us to say what's up, whether they knew us from online or whatever,

- Has been Gorgina Grande. - Yeah. - Like, and I'm not just saying that for like brownie points, like genuinely believe that with my whole chest. - We only attract pretty bitches. It's kind of crazy, but it makes sense. - Attractive attracts attractive. - Yeah, it's like we're mirroring. - I did eight. - That was awful. Attractive attracts attractiveness? - No, no, attractive attracts, attractive, fuck. Attractive attracts attractive.

Okay. Okay, but if fucking Edgar Allan Poe or whoever the fuck said that, it would be on every fucking poster in the world. Somebody the other day, who was it? I think it was like, somebody was like, oh, like Edgar Allan Poe wrote it. Like, you know, like Shakespeare or something. And like, they were saying that Edgar Allan Poe was something that Shakespeare wrote. And for the first time, I was like, damn, I'm really not that dumb because you just said the craziest thing I've ever heard. Edgar Allan Poe, more like Edward Allan Poe. Fuck! Edgar Allan Poe.

Poe more like Edgar Allen Poe. Well, we need to talk about the epidemic of like staying up on the phone all night with like your first like crush or like person who you like when you're younger. Like, did you ever do that?

No, it's cute, but it's so embarrassing like girl hang up that fucking phone. That's just gonna explode next to your head Your bill is crazy. The like electricity you're wasting for what just to be on the phone Also, I feel like always I would wake up and the phone would call would be done Like somebody would always wake up before me and then hang up the fucking phone. I never had to do I never had that I've never had that that tracks

What the fuck do you mean by that? I just, I don't know. I can't imagine anybody like meeting you and being like, oh, I'm going to stay on the phone with him all night. I got hoes. Okay. I actually, I do believe you. I got hoes. Stay up on the phone all night hoes. Hell no.

I would stay on the phone with you all night, but actually, no, I wouldn't because I would rather just hang out with you. Yeah, no, we would just go to each other's room. Also, I've been doing this bit recently where I'll call Inya at like 2 a.m. and then just be like... Hello?

Are you okay? I miss you. We were staying in the same hotel, but in different rooms. And I'm not kidding. The second I walked into my room, I had just checked in or walked away from Drew. And the second I walked in, he called me and he was like,

And she was like, what? What? What's I got scared. I thought something was happening. I thought someone was in his fucking room or something or someone followed him to his room. Like I actually got really scared. And he was like, I just I miss you. And then I was like, girl, fuck you. And I hung up. Well, we're doing Wingstop night tonight.

y'all. Oh, we're going to eat Wingstop. I'm so fucking excited. I won't be specific, but there are certain haters in New York about Wingstop. There's ops. There's ops over Wingstop. Maybe that's who the fucking therapist or whatever the fuck she is. The girl that read my aura. Yeah, that's who she was talking about. Oh my God, that is who she's talking about. She's talking about the evil entity who has a problem that we eat Wingstop. The thing

is like don't yuck my fucking yum period bitch i'm getting my protein i'm having my fucking chicken like oh if oh but but if i was eating boiled fucking sad rotten meat with like broccoli on the side everybody like oh my god oh my god like yes my queen my healthy queen wing stop is just that but happy exactly it's happiness it's pure happiness

like i don't think y'all understand like no drug yeah no drug on earth can give me the same feeling as licking the lid of a ranch cup from wing stop like that shit like really shifts shifts my like whole night like i could be having the worst day of my life

And then there's a Wingstop cup there. I'm licking that goddamn lid and it's literally giving me Molly euphoria. Okay, I will say though, as much as I ride for Wingstop... I'll ride for you, Wingstop.

because i ride for you wing stop um i don't know that i can have it and someone's gonna get mad because i've been seeing people in the youtube comments being like and you're trying not to mention being high impossible challenge like just mention it without saying i was high like i would never have wing stop sober that's what i will say the two things that will stop me from having wings up i'm so sorry is the sun

- And being sober because I did that combination once. I had it when the sun was out and I was not high. Whoa. - I thought you meant the sun exploding. Like when you said the only thing that will stop me is the sun, I thought you meant- - Oh no, no, I meant daylight. Like that is a nighttime. Okay, I will say like, I love Wingstop to death. - I've never eaten in the daytime. - If you have Wingstop in the daytime, you are diabolical. Unless it's like a cold bite out of the fridge, but like ordering Wingstop at 1:00 PM UV nine,

You're literally going to jail. You are crazy. Something is wrong. The inside and the outside is cooked. Yeah, there's just certain foods that should not be had when God is watching. When the lights are on outside and God can see you clearly and doesn't need to use night vision, there's just certain things you shouldn't be eating. And Wingstop is one of those things. I also feel like that about most fast food. For some reason in my head, fast food in general is for the nighttime. Having it in the daytime is... Nighttime, my time. Literally. Literally.

Night time, my fast food time. If I was pregnant and I had quadruplets, I would die. Baby. If I, if I, if I, if I. You know what song is that? I know what song. What is it? If I, if I, if I. If I lose you, if you lose you, if you lose you. Yeah. The hot, the hot.

you were so bad at singing songs back it's crazy wait no what was the song you were singing i think it was a steve lacy song you were trying to sing the other day and you like were singing it to us it was me and rain i think and you were just singing it and we were like what song are you singing i don't remember what it was oh my god no was it the valley guy with the nails and his hair

Okay, the valley guy with the nails and his hair. You know what I'm talking about. Shoulder pads. Tizo? Yes, Tizo. Oh, yeah, no, it was a Tizo song. Fuck, you were trying... The Valley. Because he has a song about like a valley dock.

i've already we've already had this conversation okay a valley doc i don't think he talks about that what his new song that like you really like it has four parts to it come on girl i'm outside hurry up i'm leaving he was trying to sing that and he was like freezing giving me a reason come on girl i'm outside that was good oh you said

Holy shit. See, I was like using my vocal inflection. I was using my diaphragm to push the words out instead of screaming them. Because every time someone's singing around me, I can tell they're screaming the vocals. But like me, it just comes out naturally. And I'm enunciating the vowels. I'm dropping it. I'm dropping it down. I know a lot about singing, y'all. You really don't. Were you in like choir or anything growing up? No, I was too. I was in like a church choir up until like 14.

- Fourth grade, going into fifth grade I dropped out. No, no, I was in it in fifth grade. Going into sixth grade since we were moving to the middle school, I dropped out. But you had to do like an audition in front of the whole class. - Oh hell no. - And I had so much social anxiety. I was friends with literally everybody 'cause my school class was so small, but I had so much anxiety. - Yeah, and it's popular. - Performance anxiety that I literally

all of my friends took the class and i was the only one that didn't and it was so fun and i had fomo all year because they would go on like choir trips and all this um and i wasn't allowed to because i didn't do that performance in front of everybody but in uh grade school like young young school i was like um like elementary i was in church choir do they take you on field trips in high school because i don't remember going on any field trips in high school

They might do them for like certain clubs, but I don't think... Yeah, I did like speech and debate trips. Debate? What are you debating? Penis? I'm trying to get a good one. That was a good one. That was really good. Dude, my favorite video will always be the video James Charles and somebody like added him like doing an explosive fart. Into the toilet. Um...

yeah the mark jacobs show we didn't really talk about that y'all we did it again um did it again we pushed boundaries saturday sunday um it was fun uh we spoke to cardi b oh my god she was so nice was crazy

I'll let you talk about that moment. So if you don't know, Marc Jacobs just did their show. I still am not really sure if it... Oh, no, I think it was the fall-winter show. I'm pretty sure. Or maybe it was spring-summer. Who fucking knows? No, it was definitely fall-winter. Yeah. They did their full-winter show, and it was freaking amazing. Yeah.

We're talking about us, though. We're not talking about that brand. We're talking about us here. But we usually go and they'll have us like this is our second time going. We go and we like interview people and talk to people, which is very fun, but also nerve wracking because we basically have to chase after people and like hope that they're not mean to us and will just like let us ask them a stupid question. Most people are very nice. Cardi B was super nice.

So fucking nice. Alex Kansani is literally like, I know y'all see who she is online, but

but like in person like she's like angelic like it's crazy she's so fucking funny too like she's so witty like quick like it's even like comedically intimidating for like me i know it's rare to get around somebody and like i feel like they make me feel quiet but alex always makes me feel like a quiet person like because she's so quick to a point where i'm like fuck

Fuck, okay. Also, the second you get into a conversation with her, she can drop a funny thing, especially when the camera's around. She is so quick on her feet. She is so born to be an entertainer. It is actually insane. She's one of those people, and Barbie is one of those people to me. Barbie is so witty and so quick that around someone like Barbie, too, sometimes I'm like, fuck, I'm not fast enough. I'm literally not fast enough to keep up with you. But Alex, like...

If she wanted to, she could drop modeling, drop the internet, everything, and pick up stand-up and genuinely be so good at it. Yeah, 100%. The way her mind works. Her mind. Her mind.

Hermione Granger. Hermione Granger. Spoke to Alex. Spoke to Mrs. Cordy. I'm trying to think of who else we spoke to that was like a key. Oh, I went up to Anna Wintour. Yeah. And bothered her, which that's what I'm going to say. All I said, all I could get out was thank you for everything. Thank you for everything. Like, what did she do? Thank you for what? She was probably like, who are these fucking psycho tweaks? I was terrified that like,

I don't know. I thought she was going to like spit on me or something. Damn. Um, but yeah,

Yeah, we also spoke to Tara Yami, who was a fucking key. She's the girl. Oh, yeah, Tara's super nice. She's really sweet. We sat next to her at the show, too. She was a vibe. I mean, I didn't think that she wasn't going to be a vibe. I've only heard, like, good things about her, but she was a key. I didn't realize how many fucking likes she got on IG. You were so stuck on that. That is so funny. Girl, that shit blew my fucking mind. I was like, okay, she's getting, like, literally 600,000 likes, like,

I don't ever pay attention to that shit, literally ever.

- Yeah, how does it feel that you met a superstar and you didn't even notice? - It made me feel good about myself 'cause I'm so not tapped into like anything. I'm just like in my own world and focusing on my own craft and my own arts. And I'm doing this for me that like, I'm not trying to appease like other people, you know? Like, because once I start trying to like do it for other people, it becomes a job because it starts becoming like monetarily incentivized and that's just no longer creative or fun.

So what I try to do is I create things for myself in peace and in solitude. And that's where I find the most cathartic releases. Yeah. Yeah. But you were amazed by Tara. Yeah, no, she was so sweet. Yeah, she was really, really nice. I could dunk on her too. Yeah, she's the smallest person I think I've ever met. Yeah, I could like dunk. I could jump over her standing. She like reminds me like of what...

I wanted to be in high school when it was a braggadocious thing to be like, yeah, my feet are tiny. That's to me, Tara. When you're like, yeah, in high school and middle school, it would be like, yeah, I still like my Jordans. I wear a size four still. Wait, look how small my hand is. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching.

I'm pretty sure they add that effect. We use Shopify because we love making any part of our job even easier than it already is. The website is the last thing that should be on my mind. Yeah, it's the last thing that I don't... I do not want to have to sit around and learn code.

I maybe should know it, but like if you know it, that's good for you. I don't need to know it because I use Shopify and Shopify is so easy for building out any website ever. For every merch thing I've ever done in my life, we always use Shopify.

Anytime you've been to our site to buy merch, it is always through Shopify is the easiest thing to set up. You don't need to know literally anything. As most of y'all know, if you listen to this podcast, you would know that I am a woman of no academic intelligence. And you would look at me and be like, wow, her websites always look so good. How did she do that? It's because it's so easy to do with Shopify.

literally you can just pick a theme they have free themes they have themes you can buy if you want to step your unsee up and you want it to look very very classy and smart and intellectual but also even their free themes always look so good you would never know that it's a free theme it is just so easy to build also like 10 of every online shop you see is powered by shopify which is

an insane statistic but it fucking works yeah no literally most of the places i shop from use shopify and you can tell because there are websites that actually work and it's not so confusing and so annoying to navigate stay shopping so you know you i would know i would know a thing or two about shopify they call it shopify because you're a shopify expert you're a shopify expert oh you must be at shopify a lot you must be a shopify expert

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Wait, that's actually crazy. Inya's hand dwarfs mine. Do you have giant, ginormous hands or do I just have little baby petite hands? That was crazy. Did you see that? But yeah, we met Tara. She was super sweet and funny. It was also hilarious because we were filming intros and stuff and we kept saying to the camera...

that we like because Tora had gotten there we were like our friend Tora is here so everyone on the mark team thought we like already had met Tora in person so then they went up to her and they were like oh like Drew and Enyra are here and she was like oh cool cool and they were like you guys are friends and she was like

uh not no i don't know them they thought there was like beef yeah we accidentally like made everyone curious but no it's because we give actor we give actor boots yeah 100 like it's just hard we're just like quick on our feet we're actresses act trees what else oh i was supposed to meet little uzi vert but that didn't happen but we're gonna make that happen one day yeah i have a bit planned with little uzi

And he said yes to it. So it's going to happen. Yeah. So just be prepared for that.

- It never happens. - Yeah. - People like in five years are gonna be like, remember when like Drew Phillips randomly said he was gonna like hang out with Lil Uzi Vert? - Well, it's not shocking because like Shawn Mendes, Justin Bieber, Jacob Elordi, all twins of mine, by the way, are all really close to me. And Timothee Chalamet, like when he was filming "Bones" and all, like he was really method acting and like he was trying to eat my fingers and shit. And I was like, bro, we're like friends. Like you can't eat me. - You don't know him.

My biggest dream is that one of those people somehow stumble upon a clip of Drew just being fucking crazy and publicly saying that they're friends. I mean, I did meet Shawn Mendes. We'll insert the clip. I don't know that I would consider that a meeting video. No, that was fully meeting.

- Considering me standing 45 feet away from him. - In a public grocery store. - And him hiding from the cameras. - We should start saying that every time we're in a room with a huge celebrity, be like, "Oh yeah, I've met them three times." - It's literally bestie. I mean, we got tea, but we can't say it out loud. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's so crazy. It's so crazy. - Yeah, the show was very fun. - The looks were Gorgina.

We chased after Mark after the show humiliatingly. He did not want to speak to us, but we were literally forced like animals to chase after him. We were forced like clowns to run after Mark Jacobs and tell him that his show was amazing and he had his huge box mod in his hand and he just looked at me. And those long ass damn ass nails, Mark. Those fucking nails, bro. People are obsessed with the nails.

You were already on the nails though. Yeah, I was on the foot nails like before everybody like dead serious. Like it's not that shocking to see like a man in long nails. We want to see them on your feet. Show your feet. Show your fucking feet. Like let me see your fucking feet. Like I'm not kidding. Let me see the fucking toes. You know when Lady Gaga's like show me your teeth. Like show me your feet. Dude, the video of Rihanna high as fuck at Coachella like watching Lady Gaga be like show me your teeth.

Why did I sing it like it was so spooky? I don't know. I also got blisters from wearing those Kiki boots. So that's the thing. Oh, bitch, my picture of me in the Kikis. Oh, the scary video of you in the Kikis? I was tearing up the runway, y'all. They almost let me wear them. Actually, I decided not to wear them. Yeah, because your fucking toes were curdling. Y'all, I'm not kidding. My pinky toe is like my thumb right now. It was like curdling.

curled underneath and every step I took I would have to like arch my toes like this so I didn't literally rip my pinky toe off I could feel it like the fibers connecting my toe like ripping it was really scary boots um wait scary boots we'll insert the kiki video though no you're walking really like I don't think you should wear those oh my god my stomach oh

I don't know why it pisses me off so bad when I smile and wave to a baby and they don't smile and wave back. Like something about that pisses me off so fucking bad because you're not better than me, bitch. You're a fucking baby. You can't even walk. You have to get pushed around by your fucking parents. And I'm going on my way to smile and wave at you. Fucking smile and wave back. That's character growth. That's character growth for them. And you're giving that.

and hello to them to like grow their brain and they're just not reciprocating that energy and I just I feel like it's like really toxic no it is it's them being like how are you a fucking baby and you have such a big ego already like you need to grow the fuck like you're literally not better than you're a fucking baby bitch you can't even fucking walk like and I'm gonna wipe your ass I'm literally gonna push you over and you're gonna roll around on the floor like a fucking water bottle I need to start wearing diapers again because it's been like five years

I can't believe babies just piss and poop in their diaper. That shit probably gets so cold. I want to pee in a diaper still, y'all. Ew. I want to stand in the shower and pee in a diaper. Not in a gross sexual way, just to see what it feels like. Wasn't there a time where we were bored as fuck during COVID and we were like, low-key, we should get diapers and just all piss in them? We should sit on the couch for four days. No, they had us bored as fuck. We were like, what if we all just got diapers and piss in them? Pissing and shitting in diapers.

-Uno dead serious. -Anybody else during COVID just really want to piss in a diaper? -For some reason, the weather during COVID was gorgeous, but it's probably because there was less emissions. -You weren't allowed outside. -Yes, there was less emissions from all of our cars on the road. -There was no pollution dome over LA. -Layer over LA. -If that happened again, I would be pissed because-- -Well, the Dan Gay virus is happening and no, it's not gay. -No, it's July.

So that's not. No, the Dan Gay virus. There are 12 confirmed cases in Miami or in Florida and that the mosquitoes are there. Drew, your dad being gay is not a virus. Dan Gay, you can't just say, oh, Dan Gay virus. Like that's fucked up. That's actually too. I didn't even think about that. That is really toxic. I actually really didn't even think about that.

But I add so many fucking words that are so unnecessary. Like I'll be like literally actually I didn't actually literally think about that. It's like so annoying. You're like verbally droning. No, really. I really actually literally didn't even think about that. Wait, but is like is that a virus that's been around for a long time or is that a new one? Because I saw somebody on TikTok. I don't know if it was false information, but there was like a mosquito that if it bit you, it made you allergic to meat.

Oh yeah, there's 12 cases in Florida right now and it's from mosquitoes in Florida. It's not like a traveling case like someone travels somewhere and gets it and then comes back like it's happening here. And then there's also probably hundreds more because a lot of the people that get the virus don't show symptoms. Wait, is it not pronounced dengue, dengue fever? Dengue?

I heard gay when I was watching the video. Oh, it is dang gay. Dang gay. Girl, of course, the dang gay virus happens right after Pride. Like, you people can't just, like, take what you get. Oh, my God. The dang gay virus is transmitted to humans through the bites of infected female mosquitoes. Of course. So it's the slut mosquitoes. It's fucking women, bro. The slut mosquitoes. Fucking women of every single...

Always being bloodthirsty, fucking scary animals. Succubuses. Succubus. Take, take, take. Succubus. Oh my God. Wait, Josie literally had fucking dengue fever. He might have. Abdominal pain or tenderness. Lethargy or restlessness. Laboratory finding of increasing HCT concurrent with rapid decrease in plat... Okay.

Platulent count. Girl, the fuck? Persistent vomiting. Okay, do you die from it? Yes or no? I think so. The mortality rate's like pretty gnarly. Less than 1%. Oh, that's the mortality rate? Yeah. Oh, girl. Maybe I'm thinking of Zika or some shit. You might be thinking of Zika virus. Wait, no, there's Zika malaria. I'm thinking of malaria. Yeah, so dengue isn't even that bad. Girl, it's not even that fucking deep. You're just gonna get fucking sick. Yeah. Like, you're good.

but imagine everybody gets it one person in the world gets it and dies that's crazy um all right y'all i'm so sad lately why just sad what's making you sad do you want to talk about it on our podcast to like a huge audience no oh no y'all know the fig tree what

Oh, gag, gag, gag, gag, gag, gag. Y'all, we were in Times Square on a billboard. Yeah, we were on a billboard in Times Square, the Times Square, and it wasn't in some bunk-ass spot a street over. Like, it was in...

the thick of it all, it was there. Yes, and we went and we took pictures with it and everybody was staring at us and like, like, also, it's so funny because the billboard said Drew and Enya instead of like emergency podcast. Emergency podcast.

i just want wingstop so bad i know and then we have to go hang out with 36 people yeah we have to go hang out with a bunch of friends because we're so popular but i'm not getting wingstop does something for me that's like really good but i won't like bring the conversation back to wingstop because we already went on tangent for like 10 minutes okay but yeah we had a billboard and it was freaking awesome and i waited till the last five minutes of it being up to go look at it yeah i have a good video of me like uh doing the thai dance in front of it

Something is wrong with you. The fact that your mom filled- filmed that is like what's so crazy. Filled that? What are you fucking talking about? My mom filled me. That's like a Kai joke. She filled you with milkies. Milkies. Mama, milkies. I want milkies. Wait, but why have you been sad? I'm confused. I'm confused. Just my fig tree.

what about your fig tree like all the fruit on it is gonna rot off because i can't make a decision on what i want to do with my life oh you mean that quote about the fig tree i really it's got me it has me thinking i even wrote down a list of everything i want to do in my life and i'm like

- Cool. - What is it you wanna do that's gonna take that much time? - Literally everything. It's embarrassing to say, so I'll tell you in private. But I wanna make a fucking cartoon, but animation is too hard and inexpensive. I wanna make documentaries 'cause I have a bunch of good documentary ideas. - You're only 26. You have more than enough time to do most of the things you wanna do. - But I'd have to commit to one of them now.

Well, pick the easier one and start working on it on the side. All of them are difficult. Documentary is hard because you would have to dedicate a lot of time. So that would have to be way later. Y'all, I have such a good documentary idea. And I already got a yes from the dude.

um that i want to make it on but i just know it's a can of worms i just know once i go in there like it's going to end up me being me josh and lucas filming it for like three months

but also i'm just so bad at interviewing people but like i know like the werner herzog method is like to get them to do like 30 different takes and like like them delivering it like they were angry like or like they were happy or like they were sad so then he can like go back into the edit and like fully contrive the story how he wants it to be um

But I don't know. We'll see. I feel like you could do one like the cartoon one. I guess actually, yeah, a lot of it does take a lot of time. But specifically, a lot of it takes a lot of time and money and you wouldn't be able to do like other work. But you know what? It's not that deep because you are literally 26. If you live up to 75, you have so much time. Damn, I do have 69 years. I'll have 69. You're not 17.

You're not. Like you have to come to terms with the fact that you are a 26 year old man. And I'm okay with that. You're saying you're going low because I'm trying to bring you back to a reality and help you confront something that is upsetting you and giving you trouble. My reality is my reality. Real reality. But yeah, I feel like you have a lot of time to do stuff. But also you're talking to somebody who has like an empty brain and not a lot of wants. So.

I can't relate to wanting to do anything. No, I think the main one I'm going to pursue is our TV show. Yeah. That's the one. It sets off like a domino effect to do like other things in the creative industry. TV show coming soon, y'all.

We're manifesting. We're claiming that energy. We'll see. We're claiming that energy. Just everybody claim that energy for us, please. Knock on wood. Knock on wood. Sorry, universe. I'm not cocky. I'm literally like genuinely just so grateful for everything that you've blessed me with. Thank you, universe. What do you want to do with your life? Literally nothing. That is the dream. Like my dream is to be at a point where I can like sustain and like help my family and then disappear. Yeah.

That's what I do this for. Remember when I used to say once I get $7 million, I'm going to disappear? Mind you, not even relatively. You haven't even chipped the first step. I literally said, if I don't have a million dollars by 25, I'm killing myself. And look at you, alive and well. Without a million dollars. I just got fucking mental health. Dude, I actually don't know. I don't know how people are supposed to make that much, but we don't need to get into it.

yeah we don't need to talk about talking about all that but uh yeah i don't i don't have like any extreme wants especially like as of right now like there's certain things that i like would like to do like at one point in my life i i don't have anything that's like necessarily career driven like you know what i think it'd be cool to act in something like that would be fun for me like yeah and we'll direct it

Yeah, but also I kind of want to be in someone else's thing. But I want to be in a small thing. I would like to be in a small, funny... Almost indie vibe? Yeah, like an indie thing just to do it. I really just want to do it to experience it because the things I have been able to be a part of, I'm like, wow, this is insane. It's cool to see the inner workings of the machine that makes...

content of that form. Girl, we literally were in a movie. An indie movie. Oh, yeah. Addy Daddy. Yeah, go check out Addy Daddy. Me, Inya, Josh, and Lucas were in it. And Lucas and Inya's characters were so fucking funny. But yeah, I would like to do something like that, but I'm not like hell-bent on it. I'm

I eventually would like to make music, but like in my head, I want to make like cute, sweet music when I'm like 40 or something. You want a lap steel guitar, bro. Yeah, I want to make like hinga dinga derga. Well, you know what you could do is start a pop career right now because everybody won't shut the fuck up about your song like I didn't have one.

I know Kai and Drew are low-key jealous like y'all are making them jealous low-key I'm high-key no I'm I'm literally just joking I literally feel bad I literally feel bad because it was like Kai's idea to like make girls and stuff and then everybody was talking about mine so much and I was like damn I feel like I like intruded on something no one gives a flying fuck me and Kai don't but um

No, I've been like such a big advocate for you singing for so long. Like, and you know that I've been telling you for the last five years. I know every now and then when we're in the car, we'll be like, why don't you just make music? And then I'm like, oh, I don't know.

And then I keep singing my little songs. I think I'd want to make music just like later on in my life. But like, yeah, I don't have any like goals that are like, I need to do this to feel fulfilled because they're not like... That's the problem too. I'm like waiting. I'm waiting on like... I feel like I wait for things to come to me and then I accept them. I'm not like searching for any kind of thing for fulfillment because the things that are going to fulfill me is making sure my family's good. Yeah. Also like...

having like financial and material things in your head that are like these are the things that like once i get i'm gonna be good and i'm gonna be happy and then you get those things and it's just on to the fucking next and it's like a perpetual evil cycle of wanting more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and you're never truly happy once you realize what you got and what you have in front of you and around you that's

True happiness. Because, like, we are all fed. We all got roofs. We all got family. And we got, like, great found family, friends. Like, that's really all you fucking need. Yeah, I'm, like, super grateful for where I'm at. So I think that's also why I'm like, I don't really need much else as of right now. Like, of course, I could always, like, want stupid shit. But... The new Prada bag. The new Mew Mew collection wouldn't hurt. I saw a fucking comment.

That is the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me. And not only was it the meanest thing anybody said to me, 10,000 people agreed at least. Girl, the comment was like, why every time I see Drew, he gets wetter. Like he just looks wet.

You're moist. You're moist as fuck. I'm moisturized. That's fucked up because that's like a huge insecurity of yours. You were constantly being like, do I look oily? Do I look oily? Do I look wet? I hate my oil on my fucking face. But it's also my fault because I use that snail mucin. And that's what makes me glossy and shiny. And for a while, I was like, oh, this is giving. Actually, I think it's pronounced snail mucin.

I was like, oh, this shit is cunt. Like, this is giving everything I wanted it to give. But apparently I look fucking slimy like a snail's asshole. I don't think you look slimy. You look slimy in a way where, like, I wouldn't trust you, but not slimy, like, in a way where you, like, actually look oily. Oh, you're drinking cum water. Yeah, of course. You look slimy in a way...

- I was gonna say, I got you like you're wet. 'Cause I'm so sexy. - Oh. - And you're like- - Bless you. - Leaving a snail trail behind every time you look at me. 'Cause I'm attractive. - You are attractive, you know that. - I literally, no, I'm not. Don't even get me started 'cause everybody's gonna leave mean fucking comments about my appearance. - No, people always say you're hot. Like you're crazy. You know what it is? Is like Drew went from getting no comments about his appearance

to being called like sexy way too often so now you're bar of what you need to like suffice i need buccal fat removal i need botox in my masseter muscles i need zygote implants what the fuck is zygote i think they're the like the zygomatic bone in your cheek i need um a facelift i need a haircut

You need self-love. Yeah, I think our phones are destroying us because humans have always naturally been obsessed with their looks and shit. But the vocabulary and the way it's infiltrated our day-to-day lives now is so scary. And we already had like Tumblr and things like that that made you feel less than and made you feel like you had to chase beauty standards.

And the internet was doing that. But now TikTok is so interesting because it's like in such a subliminal way. Like it's become just modern vocabulary to make a comment about the way you look in a demeaning way. And we need to change the vibe and everybody needs to just be like overly cocky to like

undo and swing the pendulum the other way and everybody needs to be like i am sexy i am hot i am so fucking slay like we we need i am hot i am free i am free i am crazy i am sexy everything is so crazy everything is so crazy because we're so crazy

We're so crazy. Should we scroll down TikTok and see what comes up? I mean, Pride Month is over. Thank fucking God. They're ripping down all the flags. Like, I'm tired of seeing all that shit around anyways. Dude, I literally couldn't stop laughing about the idea of like a business opening.

sorry it was an alan iverson edit should i go on my alan iverson tangent no no it's actually really lit it's actually really basically when he was 17 he was in a brawl at a fight and every single school in the world dropped him and the only school that stayed around was georgetown he got sentenced to 14 years in prison what yes for wearing a bra no no he was in a brawl at a bowling alley

I thought he got all that backlash for being seen wearing a bra. And I was like, holy shit, we are so fucked. He went to jail for wearing a bra. This was like in 1993, by the way. Girl, a brawl? Why the fuck didn't you say fight? Because I have a great vocabulary. Like, duh. No, because you have that fucking weird southern drawl. So you cannot say brawl. Yeah, that is true. Because it sounds like you're saying brawl. Brawl. Yeah. Okay, so he went to jail.

He went to jail for four months and then was pardoned by the mayor of, I think, West Virginia or whatever the fuck. Of Virginia Town. And then he proceeded to be one of the greatest NBA players of all time. He brought swag to the league. He's the dude that got Cornrow's side stay or like on the bench. Oh, he's getting his hair done. Oh my God. Literally the most iconic, sick fucking moment. The only thing I care about in basketball is...

the TNT guys making fun of the outfits that the basketball players wear. That to me is so funny. Then that one basketball player who was getting so made fun of because he was just copying a bunch of other players and their reactions to winning. -Oh, Jake and Tato. -Yes, just being like, "I didn't think it's possible." -"We did it." -It's so cringe. -"We did it."

We did it, Joe. We did it, Joe. Okay, well, this is where my brain was at last night, if you're wondering. Me saying I was a Viner would be like me saying, like, oh, I was in silent films. Like, that's the equivalent of...

Wait, what? A Viner or a Miner? No, so... Dude, it's actually crazy that I'm a Miner still. I feel like I've been a Miner for like 26 years. You are a 26-year-old man with a fucking podcast, with a mustache, who eats fast food every night. You are a grown man. Don't even go there because you know that's not true. You know that's not true. But I was saying like it's crazy because I saw this TikTok that somebody commented...

what is vine like oh i saw that's fine and that freaked me out because i was like oh my god vine is literally vintage like vine is a vintage decade it's a decade old so old now and i was saying me telling a young person like oh i was on vaughn would be the equivalent of somebody being like oh i was in silent films like oh i was in the black and white pictures like i was in the movie i was on the silver screen yeah it's literally like

I'm so embarrassed to be like, oh, I was a Viner. I would never claim that. Yeah, because young people would be like, you were a what bitch? The fuck are you talking about? Like even saying musically like.

It feels so old now. It just feels so far removed. So saying I was from Vine is really clocking my age in a way that I don't want to be doing. So I will not be saying I was on Vine. I was never there. I was too busy being young and fun and somewhere else. And I just got a podcast and it just happened miraculously. Thank God for giving me my two eyes that I got to open today.

I'm not happy about opening my eyes today because I want to go back to sleep. Two eyes, two lungs, two hearts. We have two lungs? Yeah. Two livers. We do not have two livers. Yeah, you got two of every organ. You got two of every organ. You're literally lying because I don't have two hearts. You literally do. Two hearts. No, I'm just fucking with y'all. One night, always together. Damn. Media, media, media.

you don't have a psyop corner i'm a psyop corner i don't have a psyop corner i don't have a psyop corner or drew stand up i've been ran down worked to the fucking bone i can't do anything i don't have any time for myself and don't expect them in the next four episodes either because they're all getting recorded in two weeks or in one week i'm cooked i'm fucking fried y'all

Dude, I feel like I'm dying.

Oh my god, before we started this episode, I- okay. I started taking chlorophyll because it makes me not stink, but does anybody else have this? It constipates me. It literally- when I take the dropper fluids, it gives me fucking diarrhea doo-doo. And then when I take the pills for chlorophyll, it constipates me. So I guess I'm just meant to be fucking stinky as fuck this summer. And the thing is, a lot of people see pretty girls and they're like, "Oh, she definitely doesn't stink." No, pretty girls smell the worst.

That's the new rumor I'm starting. So keep that in mind. That's true. It's a factually true fucking statement. Yeah, I don't got shit for y'all. Sorry. Y'all have also been lacking in the fucking emails, bro. Here is my media of the freaking week. Summer Breeze by Piper. Deep Blue Sea by Art Lone. Y'all need to stop filtering your pics. You go missing. We're looking for Miss America instead of Bigfoot.

Savannah sent that one. We Let the Stars Go by Prefab Sprout. And then that's the end of my media. Those BBL caskets gonna look like a guitar case. That's really good. I hate smoking with paranoid bitches. The fuck you mean you saw the hash slinging slasher? Dude, my favorite rendition of that is like the fuck you mean you saw Yoji Yamamoto. The fuck you mean you saw Yoji Yamamoto? I saw one too where it was like the fuck you mean you saw Michael Jackson?

Message me if you eat Twizzlers. I need you to bite somebody's tires for me. Bitches be like, going shopping and forgot to put the lifting at the end. That's Inya when she stole from Sephora. That was me in high school when I was addicted to, I almost said smoking when I was addicted to stealing. Those were from Summer. Summer's carrying right now. I need some dick filet with a Balinese sauce. I need some dick filet with some Balinese sauce.

My favorite PSYOP corner you've ever said was, bitch, I hate anxiety. Like, ooh, no, no. What if something happens? Like, it's so real. Literally, what if? What if something happens and I don't know what's going to happen and it still happens? So basically, this person messaged me on my business email, business inquiry. And this doesn't mean that a bunch of y'all do this. I swear to God, if it's not PSYOP corner or stand-up bits, I don't want to fucking see it.

If you're not being a free rider for the show, I don't want to see you. Exactly, exactly. But they messaged me saying that they've been lying to their friends about being cousins with me and Inya for a very long time. And they started questioning them. And they asked us if we could send them a video of us being like, hey, cousin. Hey, mija or hey, mijo. Mijo. Ijo? Ija, ijo.

- Fuck. But anyways, we sat in the car and sent them a video of me and Nia saying, "Hello, that's our best friend. That's our cousin. Come to LA. We'll fly you out. We miss you. We haven't seen you in a few months." Da da da da da. Never got a fucking response. - Yeah, they never responded. - So don't ever try that shit with me again. - Yeah, so that was the first and last time I will ever be nice. - See, 'cause I did that shit and I was like, "Oh, this is going viral."

I'm joking. I'm joking. No, I just wanted to see the reaction like in the email or whatever. I know. I wanted to see if they actually showed it to their friends. Also, I think what I'm going to

I'm gonna do is like I've been having this idea because I've just been feeling like so creatively in a fog and you know I just like think oh I might be hitting burnout and then I'm like okay so you know what would make me feel better is if I like did something good but filmed it and made a YouTube video out of it so I'm starting to think I might do oh like giving you the homeless yeah or like going to like through a drive-thru and being like I'm gonna pay for everybody in the line like here is like a gift card with like $5,000

- That's actually really interesting. - And everybody today gets free food. - Because you'll get a lot of praise online. - Yeah, and like I'll like quadruple that income if the video goes viral, like a Mr. Beast video. - That's actually like fascinating. - Yeah. - So you'll make more money than you give away, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kind of the end goal. The end goal is to like give a little away. So maybe not 5,000, I was thinking like maybe $50 on a gift card, but never saying the amount, but being like, I'm paying for everybody behind me.

And it's insinuating that I paid for like 50 people's food, but really, also my friend is gonna be in the car behind me, so it's my food.

Actually, that's a crazy scam. Like doing like a pay it forward, but really you're just paying for your own meal in the back, like for the car behind you, but filming it and making it seem like you just like did something amazing. We should try that out. Yeah, we're going to do that. So if you see a video where it's like me and all of our friends in our own cars in a long drive-thru line and we're like, we're going to pay for everybody's food. Don't say shit. Also, also, also, also hold me to it. I need to record a doppelganger video soon. A Drew's go through the Drew's lookalike account.

Just bully me until I do it because I really want to start posting on YouTube again. Okay, My Media. Let's just pick a random fucking playlist and scroll through it. Scroll to it. Breathe by Telepop Music and Angela McCluskey. Inner Voice by Hoover Phonic. Strings of Life, Derek May. I love that song. 35 Summers, Plaid.

Peace Seeker, Hymera. Love, Hymera. Michael Wilson Tanner. And See You No Mo, DJ Godfather. No mo, no mo, no mo. I just had to let you know, let you know, let you know. And one last thing. Aw, remembered forever. In memory. Memoriam of the old set.

We had our friend Leon do a painting in his style because we love it so fucking much. And she lives on forever. In our hearts. And let's just say big things coming soon. And let's just say we're putting this on a shirt. We're putting that on a shirt. Merch drops soon.

All right. Well, thank you guys so much for walking. I almost said walking. Thank you guys so much for watching. Thank you for walking. And if we seem out of it, it's because I'm losing my freaking mind. So.