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Welcome back to episode 14 of Emergency Intercom. We were really in unison with that one. We were really in unison with that one. We're really doing good. We're doing good. Today's good. Let's do our affirmations together. Today's going to be a good day.

I'm happy. I am lucky to be alive. I'm happy. Life is a dream. Life is good. Life is good. We're lucky to be alive. We're lucky to be alive. Please. Please work. I hear my affirmations. My tits are getting smaller. My ass is getting firmer. All the clothes I want on Depop. They're going to DM me and be like, I saw your Instagram and I'm going to give them to you for free. Okay.

Those are really good affirmations, actually. Thank you. I do it every waking moment. Like, y'all wake up and do it. I do it every waking moment. Please, please, please. Well, before we get into today's episode, I just wanted to update y'all on something that I briefly spoke about at the very beginning of the last episode. So I mentioned that I have a growth on my face. Oh my gosh. Guys, it's gone. It's gone.

It's fully gone. Literally, Kai, the second you brought it up, Kai was like, it's probably like an acne cyst that'll just go away. Yeah, it was like a boil or something under my skin. I literally had boils. Boil. But it didn't like surface or anything, which is like the weirdest part. Sometimes I'll get something like that and it only kind of surfaces because I'm literally destroying and scratching at my face. You have a cat hair on your lip and it's insane.

Yeah, it's gone now. I was leaving it there. I was going to eat it later. But yeah, that's just like a testament to...

The mind and the body and how it can just heal itself. My mind's not doing such a good job at that. Please, please let me out of this prison. I'm stuck inside my fucking brain. Like, I want out, I want out, I want out. You need to do a psychedelic trip. No, no. Everyone on the internet thinks it's like... They're like, I'm so depressed and I hate myself. I think I'm gonna do mushrooms in the woods alone. I wish...

I used to think like that. I know. But I'm in such a fragile state with my brain right now that legitimately anything that throws the chemistry off, even if I have caffeine, I'm sent into a dark, dark place. And it's really not true. Dude, I can't imagine caffeine doing that to me. If caffeine did that to me, then y'all would never see me again. I won't say why you would never see me again, but the day I wake up in caffeine doesn't make me feel good.

In fur. Yeah, in fur where I would go. Since you're giving an update on your body, I'm going to give an update on my body. I think, have I mentioned? It's a dream. It's a playground. Your body is one little land. What song is that? It used to play on like the radio. Yeah. On like 101.5. 101.5. Delilah.

Delilah's. No, that's, I think, a North Miami thing or something. No, I think... Okay, I looked it up and that bitch... Oh, actually, I'm so stupid. I was going to be like, she was on the news, but I'm thinking of Miami news. Dude, Delilah is...

OG radio host in Florida. She did 101.5, Light FM, and she would just play, like, all the, like, oldies. So when I was growing up, I listened to, like, a lot of music from, like, the 80s and shit. Um...

Because that's the channel I would listen to. And she has the most soothing voice ever. And I actually found out she has eight kids. And, like, one of them committed suicide recently. And she wrote a book about it. And her whole thing was... You would call her and, like...

something bad happening and she would literally like therapize random people on the radio. No wonder I like I like immediately was set off to have depression before I knew it because I would be going to bed at night listening to someone being like my wife and me just aren't getting along. I have nothing to look forward to in the morning and like life is so miserable. So I knew the feeling of dread before I had experienced it because I was listening to Delilah therapy

You being four years old, like, mourning other people's relationships. And then, like, they start playing It's the Falling in Love by Michael Jackson. I'm like, and I, like, go to me going to sleep listening to, like, her and me, like, I just hope we fall in love again. And she'll be like, and with that, I have the perfect song for you guys. And then she'd play, like, It's the falling in love.

Fuck, what the fuck was I saying before that? I was talking about my boil and my body, your update on your body. And your balls, the update on your balls. They're absolutely massive right now. They grew overnight. Yeah.

I'm actually super excited about that. Big balls are like a cool thing. No, I'm trying to think if I had mentioned what is happening to my intestines. I feel like you always talk about being constipated and like being in pain and shit. And I never knew that feeling until... It's cracked. Is it? Stop, you're so annoying. It's like dirt.

But I never knew what that was like because I've always had a beautiful, beautiful stream of poop. Turds coming out of your colon. Yeah. I was always just like, I have my morning poops, I got my lunch poop, and I got my dinner poop. It comes in waves through the day. An absolute dream. Yeah. And I've always had that until the last month.

I think everyone who I know, when we talk about it, everyone's like, yes, it's the prebiotic sodas. It's like, shut the fuck up. Like, just stop drinking them. But they taste good and I like them and I'm not going to stop. But I have not had a solid shit for the past month. And then yesterday... Yesterday, I hit a breaking point where I was in so much fucking pain and I came home and I was stuck in the bathroom. Yeah, it was hilarious. It's just like... It's just watching... It's awesome watching someone hit rock bottom and finally come to terms with, like...

What they're doing to themselves. And you just need to stop drinking those probiotics. What was the first part of that? What, like...

You hit rock bottom. No, what about that is fun for you to watch? I just like watching my friends in pain. I just love watching them suffer. Literally, as when you were dying on the sidewalk. I found a video, which I literally won't insert because it's like... It's actually scary. Dementing. But I found a video of me drunkenly recording Drew with my handy cam being like, I don't want to take him to the hospital. And I go in close on his face. Yeah.

literally looks dead. - No, I think we should insert that clip, like legitimately. - Yeah. - I mean, we could drive him to the hospital. - No, I'm not going to the hospital. - We could just drive to the hospital. It wouldn't cost $4,000. - The thing is, Mason last night was literally throwing up like four times in a row and we did take him to the hospital, so I'm like, why do we have to take Drew to the hospital? Look at him. - He's way worse than Mason. This is like Project X.

Yeah, I know what it is like. I'm literally being a fucking blazing cunt, like a drunk bitch. But it'd just be zooming in on your face and be like, I don't know why the goat's ass would look like that. And you look dead. It's terrible. Also, Elisa coming over and like begging to see it immediately. I had told her that three hours before that I found that video. Oh, and then my other update on my body. I'm so sorry. This is like, no one cares. But I...

I've been biting my nails so hard and then yesterday one of my nails broke in half and I'm in the most pain ever. But because I'm a woman, I can gauge my pain and like swallow it and like just like keep pushing. No, you can't. Anytime your tummy hurts, you are not brave about it. You are not brave about your tummy hurting. Okay, because I'm just like prepping y'all for the day like you find out that I'm like passing away from like my stomach lining being destroyed. No, it's literally like Inyo will eat one fucking chip and...

and then complain, I'm not kidding, 15 seconds later, and it's like, "Oh my god, there's like a brick sitting in my stomach, like, I've never felt like this in my life, like, I literally am passing away, like, I need to stop, like, I need to just stop everything." And then,

she will go back into the kitchen and eat like the entire bag of chips and then come into the couch because i'm already here like i might as well keep going it tastes good it's actually insane that how often any complains about her stomach but i have no fucking okay but also it has gotten better since i started cooking at home like for the most part when it because i find my meals that don't hurt my stomach and i eat them yesterday i don't know why those chips made my stomach hurt because they really never make my stomach hurt i

think it was because I had no other food in my stomach and then I came home and fucking swallowed the whole bag in like the like span of a minute how is that even possible you like ate the lining of the bag and everything this throat throat goat throat goat yeah

Anyways. After Drew's constipation, we wanted to talk about... I didn't talk about my constipation. You're moving too quick, girl. I guess me being like, after Drew's constipation, what is this fucking podcast? So, Enya has troubles with...

This is like literally just poop joke podcast. And he has trouble with shitting. Um, liquid shitting. It is funny. And fart jokes will never not be funny. Some people are in the business of normalizing like, um, like, like acne and stuff. And I'm in the business of normalizing poop. Like girls, guys, like girls poop. Wait, do they really?

Yeah. I wasn't kidding. This isn't a bit like a... Wait, girls actually poop? Yeah, like, for me, liquid. Liquid ass. Wait, no, no, no, no. Right on my butt. I actually, like... You're lying. You're lying. No, I'm not. Are you... Wait, are you kidding? Yeah. Drew, girls poop. No, they don't. They do. You've never seen a girl's poop? She's never sent you a pic of her poop? Damn, no girls have liked you. I'm so sure they don't. Please, no, you're lying. This is a dream.

Are you okay? Yeah. You sure? You're done? You keep going? Yeah. And you saw tears coming to my eyes. I know. I'm like, are you okay? No, I'm acting. Oh, okay. I didn't know you were that good. It just seems like real pain. I pull from very real places. Very real and dark places. I hate when I'm standing around with an acting coach and they're like, dude, one time I literally had someone, an acting coach, ask me,

Imagine someone who passed away. Someone who you loved who passed away. And then I was like, okay. So I'm sitting there literally thinking about my dead mother. And she's like, who are you thinking about? And I was like, mind you, I just met this bitch. And I'm like, my mom. And she's like, oh, and how did she die? And starts really digging in and asking me about extreme details in my life. And because I was uncomfortable, I was just telling her because I was like...

I guess this is like the vulnerability of like acting coaches and classes. And she literally was just like, yes, yes, love that, love that, love it so much. You're off on your dead mother. Imagine her, no, imagine your last moment seeing her body in one piece. Imagine that. Just think about that. And she was like, was she buried or? I was like, no. What?

- Dude, the whole thing was very... - She was torched. - We torched her like a little flat. - Marshmallow. - Like no, what are those things you know in the kitchen where you-- - Creme Brulee. - Yeah, that's how we did my mom's. - With a butane lighter? - Yeah. - Oh my god. - With like a dab rig lighter. And then we created resin and took little bits. - Oh my god. - That's not funny, I'm sorry.

Well, Inya has liquid shit and I have shit that happens once every 14 days. I've gone literally like 16 days without shitting one time. Part of me is like you have to be exaggerating because you would be dead. No, I swear to fucking God. No, this is like my real life. Like I'm not exaggerating. It's not like that every time, but I have done that before. Yeah.

it was fucked up. Like, it was genuinely, like, the worst I'd ever felt physically in my life. Like, it felt like I had a hundred pounds of shit in my gut, and it just randomly, one day, like, I took a laxative, and it went away. But, like, laxatives, I am fucking petrified of, because...

There's a whole other story that I guess I could get into. Yeah, I know. It's about your scary story. I think the night this happened, you were live texting me. Yeah, probably. Um, so... Uh...

Go back five years. I'm still living in Texas, still dealing with constipation, undiagnosed, whatever the fuck I have. I'm still I don't know what is going on with my gut. It's the most annoying shit ever. And I haven't shit in a very long time. So and it's starting to like actually like cause me pain, like it's starting to like hurt. So I like.

Going downstairs because I know my dad has laxatives. And I'm like, Dad, like, I'm constipated. Like, I need laxatives, like, to help this help me shit. It's so embarrassing. And my dad is, like, bigger than I am. He's, like, probably, yeah, I don't know. He's bigger than I am. And he gave me, like, his dose of laxatives that he takes. And I went upstairs and I popped on.

all three of these pills and he was like oh no like you're not supposed to take all three of them you're supposed to take one now and then one tomorrow morning and then one the next morning and I was like oh my fucking god oh my god oh my god so I start like literally panicking and then I'm like okay like it's done like there's like nothing I can do about it just like

Like, you'll get through this. You'll maybe live. You'll maybe live? Literally. And then, like, 15 minutes pass. And, like, my stomach is making... Like, it literally... Like, if you held a decibel reader up to it, it would be as loud as a fucking, like, jet engine. Like, it was, like, the loudest, like, churning and, like, grumbling I'd ever heard in my life. And I was like, oh, my fucking God. The laxatives were literally, like, Fruit Ninja blending your... No, exactly. It was, like... It was, like...

literally because like 15 minutes go by, it's making these loud sounds and then I just get these like sharp, like cramping pains in my stomach, which like, honestly, like, like as a man, like I feel like I understand what a period feels like. And like, I cannot believe y'all go through that once a month because like,

Like, periods hurt. I actually... I don't get cramps, so... Well, like, other girls out there, like, I feel for you. My big fucking boobs hurt, and they get really, like, dense. Do you need a massage? Yeah. I need them squished around. You need to massage the little nodules. The tendril horns? The nodules? You mean my nipples? So I'm sitting upstairs, and...

It's my stomach's churning. It's fucking like actually like starting to scare me. It's starting to hurt really, really bad cramping all that. And then I start getting like extremely nauseous and I'm like, oh no, like this isn't supposed to happen. Like I don't like why is this happening?

And so I, like, go and I start, like, throwing up. Like, profusely throwing up. And it is... No, you're throwing up shit. No, literally. Like, I'm throwing up, like, shit out of my mouth. Not actually. But literally I'm throwing up shit out of my mouth. And it's bright red. And, like, then my ass starts to hurt. And I'm like, oh my fucking god, it's coming out of my ass. And, like...

It's coming out. And so I sit on the toilet and nothing comes out. And then I start pissing blood. Like, I'm, like, pissing blood, throwing up vomit, trying to shit out of my ass. Like, butt-ass naked, sweating. The most vulnerable I've ever felt in my life. And I am, like, literally screaming. I'm, like...

Help. Like, bracing up against the walls, like, actually out of a comedy movie. Like, the worst pain I've ever felt. And, like, I won't go into too much detail because, like, what transpired next is, like, some of the most humiliating shit that's ever happened to me in my entire life. I'll just have Kai, like, bleep it out so you understand what happened. But I, like, had to go on the tub of the shower and literally, like, my out of my ass.

Because it was so impacted. And I laid there with the shower running after doing that and cried my eyes out because, like, it was the most dehumanizing thing of my entire life. That is so gross. Yeah, it's, like, really gnarly. And then I went on the toilet and exploded out of my ass for literally two hours. Like, it was, like, so much shit just, like, spraying out of my butt. Like...

Like, it was really crazy. Kai said shiz. Like, I was pissing shit. Like, piss. What is it? Oh, shissing? Shissing. Like, literally pissing shit out of my butt. But I woke up the next day, and I am not joking. You got like a million bucks.

No, I felt like a million dollars and I felt lighter. Like I felt like I had like a pep in my step. I felt like I was walking on clouds. It was like actually insane. You had a full body detox. No, it was like my whole, and that's probably why my gut like flora is so fucked up. Yeah, definitely. Because I like eradicated it all. Like I burned it alive. I seared it alive with my laxatives.

dude actually that randomly just reminded me so one time when i was in honduras when i was like maybe six years old that was the sickest i had gotten in my whole life like where i had eczema the skin had become so raw from like the medicine or are you situated yeah can you hear that when he moves yeah

Stop. But I don't know why I got so sick when I went to Honduras once. I don't know what it was to this day, but I literally was on my deathbed at the ripe age of like six or seven and I would go every summer. But this last summer that I remember going for some reason, I like nearly fucking conked over and died. And it started as just like a normal like flu. And I...

I was just, like, kind of bedridden every day. Like, I wasn't doing anything. Like, I would, like, lay around. I actually also, within this, I had such a bad temper as a kid. My brother and cousin were in the other room playing the PS2 on, like, the TV that was in that house. And they were all on the floor playing PS2, but they were being really fucking loud and having so much fun. And I was so sick. And I had the craziest migraines from being sick.

That I kept telling them to shut up because I wanted to go back to sleep and they wouldn't listen. So I literally got the fuck up, went, grabbed the PS2, picked it up and slammed it on the floor. And got the demo disc stuck in there so they only could play like... Not even the demo disc. Maybe it was the demo disc, but it had Nemo, the game on it. That game was fucking lit. Yeah, it was fucking awesome. No one wants to have that conversation, but the Nemo game was literally like one of the most like...

influential games of all time. No, it was fucking awesome. Do they do that still with kids' movies? Like, make every single one into a game? Because as kids, every single... If you look at Game Boy games, almost every one is a fucking movie. Or, like, a cartoon or, like, whatever. Yeah. But that aside, basically, I just, like, kept getting sicker and sicker. And then my eczema that was on my arms got so blistered up and fucked up that I had boils everywhere.

on my arms that I still have, like, little divot scars from it that I would scratch and I would, like, bleed all the time. And then I started having liquid fucking shit and vomiting at the same time. Oh, my God. That's what just reminded me of this, is I would wake up in the middle of the night and feel so sick and run to the bathroom and, like, go to shit and then have to grab the fucking garbage can and throw up in the garbage can as I was shitting. It's very dehumanizing, like, it coming out of both ends. I know. Like, it's, like, it's...

Like, it really is, like, not even dehumanizing, it's humbling. It's like, you are a human. You are an animal. Sometimes this happens, and, like, you just have to, like, figure it out. We're people, too. Yeah, me and Drew, we shit and poop out our ass, too. I throw up shit sometimes. Like, literal poop out of my mouth. Oh, my God. That just reminded me of one time when I was, like...

I was probably in, like, I want to say, like, first grade. This is the bowel movement. Yeah, the bowel movement. The regular bowel movement. Normalizing shit. Normalize shit. We need the normalize normalizing shit. Normalize shit. Normalize puke. I hate puke, though. So, I was, like, probably in, like, first or second grade at the time. And, like, my brothers are, like...

like a few years older than me so they were like in middle school and they came home one day and was like yo like I cannot believe what happened today like this girl like she threw up shit all over the place and I was like

Like, verbatim, that's what they said. I will never forget this story. We never turned off the AC. I'm so sorry. Oh, yeah. I'll never forget this story. That's just, like... That's gonna get left. We did it last episode, too. And the one before that, as well. Oh, really? Yeah. But, like...

I'll never forget it because it was like really like a pivotal moment in my life. Like my brother came in and was like this girl, she threw up shit all over the place. And in my like second grade brain, I thought she literally was like throwing up turds out of her mouth. And like I visualized that and everything. And like I asked a question. I was like, she like threw up poop out of her mouth. And my brothers like being the assholes that they are were like, yeah, like they're like

whole like turds came out and I was like oh my fucking god I did not know that was possible like this is like this is the craziest thing I've ever heard in my entire life and then fast forward and I'm like

entering middle school like five years later or whatever and like i finally realized like my brothers were just being fucking assholes to me and i like it took me like until i was seventh grade that people didn't throw up turds out of their mouth like it they just meant like the expression like throwing shit up everywhere um i don't have any memories of anybody venturing through remember how often it was that kids threw up in like elementary school like kids would

would just be throwing up. Did they throw mulch on the throw up? Yeah, they threw like this powder on it. Yeah, at my school they literally threw mulch on it. It's like this super observant powder and they would like sprinkle it over it and it would smell like like a mixture of like vomit and like this super chemically like almost like that powder shit that we used to have. Ajax. Ajax. It was like Ajax mixed with vomit and it would like swell and fill the hall but I never threw up at school. Mine was literally mulch. Oh,

Oh my god, I did. Oh my god, I did in middle school. I got to school and was eating my hot puffs for breakfast and I had PE as my first class. Girl. And all I had in my stomach was, like, I almost switched to Spanish. I almost was like, un poquito de café con leche. Like, I almost, like, fully went on with my story. But all I had was, like, a little bit of, like, coffee from my, like, parents in the morning.

And my hot puffs, which was a normal routine for me because I was the girl. I was amongst the girls who were eating the hot Cheetos and the hot puffs for breakfast. And then next thing I know, I'm running my laps. Actually, no, this is like ripest, like maybe fourth grade. Yeah. Because I just remembered all the kids in my class. So this was fourth grade. I was running my laps and something came up. And I threw up and I remember I was so embarrassed. I like ran to the bathroom and I was like...

dude, I want, I fucking hate myself. I can't believe that just happened to my friends. I was like, no one cares. Everyone throws up. And I was like, I don't throw up. No, that's the thing. I'm different. Like, I'm not like these other bitches. I don't throw up. Um, also one time in second grade, one of my best friends hope she's doing good. I actually was just thinking about her the other day. I'm like, I have no connection to her at all anymore. Cause we went to different high schools and we also got into a hell of beef in middle school. So we were not good friends past like fifth grade. Um,

But in second grade, we were best friends. This is so evil of me. I was such a fucking cunt at the ripe age of like, what? How old are you in second grade? Like eight years old. She we were all at P.E. and she was we were sitting down. The teacher like spoke to us and then dismissed us to go run around and do whatever the fuck we had to do. And my friend, I'll call her like Claire, was like still on the floor, like sitting there.

And I, like, got up to walk away, and she was like, Enya. And I was like, what? And I, like, turned to her, and I looked down, and she's sitting in a puddle of her own piss. Like, she had pissed herself. And a good friend would be like, oh, my God, Claire, like, fuck. Here, take my jacket. Like, cover up. Let's go to the nurse. I'm going to go, like, tell the teacher, and we can get it figured out. Bitch, no. I turned to the fucking P.E. court, and I went, everyone, Claire pissed herself.

everyone came running back and circled around her and looked at her and pointed at her and laughed. You're diabolical. We stayed best friends though. Sinister. Sinister. So it's low key her fault. Like if I was so bad, why wouldn't she leave? She stayed with me.

That's not how that works. Yes, it is. I was a fucking cunt. I was mean. There was... Do you know what a miler's club is? Like, did y'all have miler's club where you would, like... Like, they would just send you during P.E. And they would just make you run laps the whole time? Yes, but we didn't call it miler's club. That was... I don't know what it was. It was just, like...

So we had Mylar's Club, and it reminded me of y'all, like, running laps or whatever. This is just completely fucking off-topic and a tangent, but it's just, like, a testament of my, like, brain and how fucking smart I am and, like, how high of an IQ I have. Like, no one really talks about that. Oh, my God, girl. Get into the fucking story. I am a genius...

And my IQ is like really fucking high and it's like almost dangerous and it's dangerous to be around me because it makes other people sad. You've never taken an IQ test in your life that wasn't on the internet. So where is this coming from? My IQ is a 90. No, my IQ is a 78. Like it's like it doesn't get much higher than that. I thought. Never mind. Just keep going.

I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like, I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like, I miss the taste.

98 is low. Isn't that low? It's like average, I think. Or like a little below average. Yeah, I was going to say, I feel like I've heard people being like, I have an IQ of 130. And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck IQ means. Like, girl, shut the fuck up. Like, shut up. I have a 78. I don't believe. What? Okay. What is IQ? It's.

What is that? What does that stand for? I think it's like intellectual quotient or something. I was going to say, I know it's like intellectual something. I don't know. I like could have made that up. I almost said intellectual quality. It literally could be. But basically, there is Milers Club and

they would like when you would finish a lap they would give you like a little wristband like you know those rubber wristbands yeah um and every time you would finish a lap you'd get one of those wristbands well miler's club went on for like three months like it was like from the beginning of the year and then right before winter started because it got like too cold to run and what i would do is when i would go to the dollar store i would

What did you get for it? What did you gain?

Nothing, just pride. I remember Eugene Geis won, and he was the fast kid of the school. There was always, like, every school has, like, the fast kid. I can't think of the fast kid. I guess there were, like, kids in track, but I didn't keep up with any of the sports in my school. Yeah, it was, like, Eugene Geis, Len Weatherly, and...

There was a brief moment where I was supposed to join the soccer team, but then I decided to go home after school and film videos of myself instead. Oh my God, you playing soccer instead of doing this? It would have made my dad so happy if I was a soccer player. I would not have fucking committed to being a soccer player. Are you goddamn kidding me? That was just me being bored. I was like, I'm bored, I want to run around. And I liked playing soccer with my dad. And then in middle school, I was playing football a lot. So I was like, soccer is a good middle ground since I can't play football and be tackled. I can still run around with balls in my hand.

You feel me. I didn't hear what you said. Sorry. Oh, wait. Actually, no. Before I forget, the other thing in second grade that I have a vivid memory of doing, actually two things. I was so, I was awful. I was like an awful kid. One, I went and got glasses. Like, I got my first prescription glasses and a kid, this kid, James, accidentally knocked them off of my table. And I, in front of the whole class, was like, are you fucking kidding me?

fucking stupid and started yelling at him and being so mean to him and i was like pick them up pick them up and he picked them up and put them back up and i was like wipe them off and i was being so mean to him but i think it was a kid i already didn't like and i was just really mean i would also kick guys in the balls when they pissed me off or if i knew they were being mean to other girls like people would literally run away from me like if a guy was mean to a girl it would get back to him that someone told me and after school when we were all waiting for him he would be out

hiding somewhere. You're literally like the superhero. I was the punisher. What could your superhero name be? And then also, actually... One bad thing I did as a kid is I pissed all over my brother's Nintendo 64.

And I came back, like, a week later, and it literally crystallized. And it, like, had, like, crystals all over it. And people were like, who the fuck pissed on the Nintendo 64? Like, what is this? And that's my story. Did you get caught? Mm-mm. I, like, didn't get caught until I told it, like, a year ago on, like, one of those live streams we did. I, like, told that story, and my mom was like, that was you? I still don't think my brothers know, but yeah, I...

I Brandon Jared Sam I pissed all over y'all's Nintendo 64 and ruined all the games Sam Sam in heaven Sam the ghost behind me no Sam the goat yeah all right be that pussy last thing before we get into like the real good topic of this episode is

that I did in second grade is this kid Nathaniel had lollipops. This was written in a planner and this is why I remember this because I was going through a planner before I moved. I was like, oh my god, I was fucking evil. This kid Nathaniel had lollipops and was eating them and I think he was on his last one and I finally went up to him and I was friends with this kid. I was like, hey, do you have any more? And he was like, no, this is my last one. I was like, are you kidding me? You're lying. And he was like, I'm not. Please leave me alone. And I took the

a lollipop, put it in my mouth and crunched it and didn't even eat it. I like spit it out. And I was so mean. And then he like cried and I got, I had to go up to the front and like change my card.

How humiliating. That's evil. I changed my card all the fucking time. I was playing green light, red light. Yeah, dude. That shit was... I think I only literally had to change it from green to yellow once in my life. And I remember it was like actually the most heartbreaking thing that's ever fucking happened to me in my life. And I behaved ever since then. It worked on me. I was just another sheep. I was another cog in a machine. Yeah, I wasn't a sheeple. I believed in being able to speak my mind, be a cunt.

Be rude, push kids, yell at kids. No, I was a sheep. But also, I was a bully. Not really. I will let... I remember...

remember one time someone got in trouble i guess people get in trouble often for like they were bullying school bitch most people were fucking bullies in school we were all fucking angry we were children in classes for eight hours a day with nothing to do we didn't have iphone we were all also very insecure and going through fucking puberty at the same time like obviously there's like raging hormones that are gonna make people angry at each other and just like bully other kids but i wasn't like a bully bully but like i wasn't a bully i was just a fucking bitch like

I did one thing that, like, I will literally never let myself live down. And, like, I still to this day am like, oh, like, if I have bad karma, like...

Like, if something bad happens to me, it's because of what I did to that kid. But it's not even that bad. I just said he... I can't even say it. I said he had squades. What is that? Squirrel AIDS. And he cried, dude. And he cried his eyes out, and it was so humiliating for him. I was, like, six years old. I'm sorry. Like, I'm not apologizing. Leave that in. Like...

Like, I don't give a shit. Like, when nobody gives a fuck that you said that. I'm fucking sorry. I don't fucking care. Oh, I know you're all going to be so fucking mad at me. Fuck you. I don't care. I was six years old. But yeah, I said he had squades, me and my friend Hunter. I've never heard squades. No, it's something we made up.

And we said he also wore OP. So this was on one day. Oh, my God. You know what OP is? The brand? Yeah. He wore OP. And we were like, I was riding the bus back home with him. And I was like, oh, you're wearing OP? What does that stand for? Oral penis? And everyone was like, oh, holy shit.

But I think we're on good terms today. Like, I think... You don't know him. No, like, not... I mean, like, I kind of do. I don't think anybody, like, for stuff like that... I think it's different when someone's like, yeah, I got, like, relentlessly bullied by one person and I was targeted every single day by this person. I think that's...

think that's what bullying is. I think like when kids are like yeah I was a piece of shit I did this like and then I never bothered that person again it's like okay you were a piece of shit like when you were a kid. Alright Hayes if you're out there his name is Hayes if you're out there I truly am sorry for that and

No, he comes back with a huge newsletter. I'm truly sorry for that. And I still, to this day, think it's the reason for anything that ever bad. Like, the reason my brother died is because I said he had squades. Shut up. I was just thinking, like, you know how when people, like, people, like, come forward and, like, so-and-so did this and, like, the New York Times publishes it? The Guardian publishes it. The Guardian. I don't think The Guardian is that important. I don't know. BuzzFeed publishes it. BuzzFeed article on Drew Phillips being a bully.

Fuck, I was thinking of one other thing that I did that was so mean. I just did a lot of mean things. I was, like, just annoyed. Like, I was annoying and annoying. You had a lot of pent up. Yeah, anger. Rage.

Yeah, I never did anything that was, like, fucking unforgivable. I was just literally a raging cunt. Oh, fuck. It just almost came back to me. One time... There's one thing I did that I can't think of. One time... So I never shit in high school or in middle school. And maybe that's why I have, like, GI tract issues now. But, like, one time, I, like, in the middle of class, just, like, pulled my pants down and just shit all over the floor. You're so... You're lying. Like...

I just shit all over the floor and like the teacher walked over and like slipped in it and landed in it and like it like made like a wave of like...

Like, it sprayed all over the kids in class. And, like, a few kids got E. coli. And it was, like, this whole debacle. And, like, yeah, it was just, like, this whole thing. Oh, you know what I was thinking of? In high school, there was... I was really mean to this substitute once. He was just being a fucking cunt. Like, he was being annoying. I was so mean. I was always a mean person. But that's okay. Because you know what I think it is? I think it's when people are, like, really, really nice on the internet. And then when people find out they were pieces of shit, they're like, what the hell?

But I think from the jump, like, everyone's always known I've been a piece of shit. Also, who gives a fuck? Like, we were literally babies. Like, I literally don't give a shit. Yeah, it's just like, of course I was mad, bitch. I was like...

horny and like angry and like i was all these things but whatever basically we had this substitute teacher who i think i had beef with prior because i had an online class this was like 10th or 11th grade i did online class with him and he just did not fuck with me because i was fucking annoying and everyone would be quietly working on the computer and me and my like one of my best friends at the time karen would be on the computer like like laughing and like being stupid and like

using her like fucking phone to like take videos and like be just like be relentlessly annoying and I got him as a substitute for a different class and he was being just like really angry rightfully so because like no one respects substitute teachers and we were all like screaming and laughing and not listening to him and then he just stands up and this is what pushed me because I was like why now you're just lying because he stood up and he was like I'm gonna fail all of you I'm like

I literally just straight up was like, you can't do that. You can't even log into the fucking computer. Like I just like said that time I was like, you can't even log into the computer. How are you going to fail this? You're not a real teacher. Like you're not, you're the substitute. You're not our teacher. And then he was like, oh yeah. And then he was like going to act like he's logging into the computer. And I just go, you're a damn lie. Like, why are you lying? Like I like straight up just was like, I said, you're a goddamn lie. Um,

And he got up and was so fucking angry from me saying that. Got up and, like, walked over to my desk and pulled out, like, three, like, business cards. Slammed them on the table in front of me. And apparently he was a priest in his free time. And he was like, I am not a goddamn lie. I am the truth. And, like, said some shit like that to me. Literally me. I am the truth. I am the truth. And then I was just like...

You can't handle the truth. I was like, okay, fuck you. Like, I, like, said something crazy to him and I got kicked out and sent to the principal's office. And the principal was like, please, like, don't. This is so fucked up. But I didn't know this before. He was like, please don't, like, don't, like, make him too angry because his wife just passed off a heart attack and he has heart issues. And I was like, okay, also, like.

Maybe do the priest thing because I don't know if you're borderline suffering a heart attack if dealing with a bunch of annoying 15-year-olds is necessarily... Helping anything. One time I had a teacher that had three heart attacks while she was a teacher, but she was an absolute... She was the worst. I'm not saying she deserved it, but if anybody deserved a heart attack, it was...

Dude, I was so mean to teachers. Obviously, now as an adult, I'm like, dude, teachers do not make nearly enough for what they go through because of people like me. Like,

like little fucking annoying kids who hate authority and are like fuck you she she was a the art teacher but like it wasn't fun art it was like she made art like so annoying and like i was like super into like drawing and like painting and shit but she like made it about like like famous artists and like very technical and if you didn't do this certain technique like you failed and i was like girl like let me just fucking paint what i want to paint and then you can just like

grade it or like just give me an a because it's fucking art class like what do you yeah and then she like had like three heart attacks and like we had like substitutes for like two years where it was like kind of crazy did i i had the most substitutes when teachers would get pregnant and then just like disappear so we would have a substitute every single day and that is where like the most fights happened that like really infamous like um at least i have money for mac

Oh, yeah.

I'm not going to make up names because I almost just said her name. But one of them I had known since elementary and then this other girl, like, I knew her just now from high school. But she was, like, infamous for wearing makeup and it was before wearing makeup was, like, cute and, like, a thing because this was, like, 2014, 2015. So if you were wearing makeup, it was, like, you're so fake, you're wearing makeup, like, that's

so whack like why do you care whatever but she was on that shit before anyone in my school yeah no full beat like always had her mac products in her bag would be like touching her shit up like reapplying like like nikki minaj pink pink lipstick like that certain pink that's like a pinky purple like that was really popular for a second but anyways this girl the mac girl she was like

She was reading the names because the substitute at this point had literally given up on our class and didn't even want to take attendance because he hated us or she hated us. So she stood up and she was like taking attendance and she kept being like, shut up. Like everyone shut up. And everyone was just ignoring her. I mean, like, dude, just take the fucking attendance. You're like not the teacher. Like, you know, everyone in the class, you could look and see it there. Yeah.

And then she got to this girl who I had known forever's name and she said her name and then said, shut up right after. So the girl turned her and was like, also, this girl was a fucking like world class champion of fighting. So I was like, oh my God, this is not going to be good. I already knew because this girl had like fought teachers, thrown desks at teachers. She was like, she's still in class. She was not,

one. I remember in sixth grade she literally threw a desk at a teacher. Her brother was also a world class champion fighter. There were certain kids who it ran in the family. They were ready to fight. They had fun doing it. But

this girl just turns and she's like what and she was like i said your name and then she was like what did you say after my name and they started going back and forth and then this girl who like didn't know this girl who i've known for a long time was really stepping up and i was like dude you were like putting yourself like genuinely in the danger zone and then they just started yelling at each other and everyone started holding the girl i had known for a long time literally physically holding her back from going to this girl because they were like the school year just started like do not do this and they just started going at it and they like

The girl I had known forever literally got dragged by the whole class, borderline, back out of the door because they were like, you can't get suspended again. The school year just started. You will be expelled. Yeah, and they just, like, they never got into the physical education part of it. But they had beef for, like... At least I have money for Mac, bitch. Hey!

Honestly, it's like... It's a valid claim. Yeah. I did not have money for Mac. Did she say, like... Was she like... She was like, all that fucking makeup on your face. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. She was just being like, I will slap you so hard. I will slap the fucking makeup off your face. And we'll see how ugly you are. Like, she was just saying crazy shit to her. At least I have money for Mac. That's like a bar. I know. That's actually awesome. It's true. But I guess also, like, I didn't know how expensive Mac was. I was like, okay. Like, I guess you do have something. But yeah. Yeah.

Should we get into the notes app? Because I can literally go on for like childhood stories forever. As I'm sitting here, I'm realizing like it is insane. We've spent half of our lives in school. So most of the stories I have from my life right now, not right now, but most of my stories...

are me in school yeah because like literally most of our life like actually 60 80 percent of our life has been in school oh i miss our cynthia i know i miss high school like i miss school every time i bring that up like people around me like like okay super senior also something else i want to fucking do really bad is go to like a high school football game like i want to like go and like live the high school football game experience and like just like i love the energy there i

I never once went to a high school game. Interesting. I went to like a one pep rally and then I stopped going. That's like the only thing you could fucking do in my hometown since it's literally microscopic. Yeah. I just was like, it's too much. I don't care. Should we get into the crux of this episode? Yes. So in your last night was like, we were like coming up with podcasts, like topics. And she was like,

Something we should fucking do is, like, go through our notes app and just find, like, the most cryptic, weird fucking, like, notes that we have taken down and just read them to each other and get our reactions. Because, like...

It gets fucking dark like it gets weird. I know some of them. I literally was like dude I can't read that that's so sad It was like making me sad but some of them were just making me crack the fuck up and what made me think of it is like Elisa does uses her notes up the way Steve Jobs intended like

Elisa goes in and she like writes notes and like if she finds things on the internet, she'll like save the link and add it to her notes and like give a description of what it is. Like it's fully the way a notes app should be used. And then me and Drew's way, we have one that's so similar. It's scary. Um, me and wait, go to the one that we were like, you showed it to me. I had the like parallel version. Okay. So one of my notes says period. I'm unnoticed space H.

When was that taken? I have no idea. Like probably like two years ago. Oh, dude, I screenshotted all mine with the time and date. Oh, yeah, I didn't do that. Mine that is a parallel of that is March 4th, 2020 at 6.52 p.m. Very random time. My fucking birthday. Oh my God, it is. I go, I say, I'm the bystander.

I don't know what that means. I don't like... So fake deep. I'm unnoticed and I'm the bystander. I so... Like, can we shut the hell up? Like, us being really sad and, like, I don't know. My next note is Gypsy Rose Everdeen costume. Because I had this idea where I was like, okay, Katniss Everdeen, Gypsy Rose, an amalgamation, like, so Gypsy Rose with, like, a bow and arrow. Yeah.

That would have to be the mix because Gypsy needs help. Literally. Also, before I forget, this has nothing to do with the topic, but can we go to Spear Halloween after we film? Yeah. Awesome. I want to leave that in also. I itch. Oh, here's a good one from me. Christmas Eve, 2.53 a.m. So I guess I haven't lived Christmas Eve's day, but this is 2018. I make my...

Okay. I don't know who walked in and stopped me. Like, I don't know. I make my. Also, I think the notes app time changes based on where you are. And on Christmas Eve, I would be in Miami. So this is actually 6.53 a.m. Miami time. So I don't, or 5.53 a.m. So I don't know what I was up to. Crazy. Well, I have one. It's our people are our dreams. And it's in bold. Yeah.

My next one is in bold too and it's literally December 14th, 2019 at 3.25 a.m. I think I've, I don't know if I was here or where. I think I was here. I said, I want to kill you. Probably talking about me. I have a lot like that. I have a lot like that when someone's really making me angry and I've now learned in my adulthood to like just be like, all right, this anger will pass. I'll go into my notes app and I have

Like a daunting amount that are just like kill you like I will kill you I hate you like shut up like just like ones like that. Um, okay. This is like actually really scary Um, and y'all will like after I read this out loud y'all everything will change. I'm like 100% positive

Idea about dreams. What if dream world and waking world are totally different realities and we experience dreams are real and happening in a different reality? I'm guessing I woke up and I wrote this immediately. As we fall asleep, our dream selves wake up and when we wake up, our dream self falls asleep. What? They can't remember what experienced in our reality just as it's foggy to remember what dream self experience in reality.

Okay. Like I said, it changes everything. It kind of makes sense. Do you kind of get it? Yeah, I get it. Like, the me who goes to sleep is actually me the next day waking up. Exactly. And then the day I live today is like my other realm self's dream. Exactly. And maybe that's why sometimes we're like, our days are just blending. I have no idea what I did today. Maybe that's like, it could explain some deja vu. Well, on May 5th, 2020, I said, very horny, would like to fuck. Yeah.

At 11 52 p.m. That's like you were passing that note to me Honestly, I do have like a really funny interaction of me and drew in 2018 Oh my god, october 7th almost like exactly three years ago This was we were on our way to a tour date and I was always so pissy traveling like I like hated traveling Because I was just always upset. I don't know and uncomfortable um

But this is like back and forth. We should read it. I think this is me and then it goes on. I just woke up oily. I can't connect to Wi-Fi and I'm so fucking cold. I want to die. Drew was in the seat behind me. I remember. Boo hoo. Cry me a fucking river. Is little baby going to cry? Wow. This six year old next to me is more grown than you. Grow up. Shake my head.

Okay, but actually how long you think till we land because I'm so mad about how cold and bored I am and my tummy hurts so bad. And then Drew just said... 45 minutes. Oh, and then he said... Finish edit video maybe. I can't because I literally can't do anything because shake at how cold I am. Like my nipples hurt. Oh, that's me.

Oh, and then you're like, SMH, I'm sweating. Then you said the kid next to me just farted so loud, but it also awoken something inside of me. Like, I want to have a kid. He fell asleep on me. It's so cute. I said, aw, OMG. And that was the end of it. Okay, well, this one says, I think I had a seizure tonight. November 19th, 2020. April 6th. 1.17 a.m.

Really? And then I go into like detail, but I won't read it. April 16, 2017, 2.34 p.m. Why everyone's so goddamn ugly? I don't know if I was showing that to someone or... Oh, I have a dream. The ego is the blueprint for dysfunction.

Cryptic fake deep. Like, I was really in my feels, I bet. I was really like, oh, this is like a bar. You were trying to give yourself ego death. Yeah, probably. July 15, 2020. I think this is a dream. Because it's at 9.17 a.m.

Had to kill people in this weird abandoned dystopian. Orion had to kill me, but it wasn't me. She couldn't do it. I got high on opioids and loved it. Felt so free and good. Then Orion became someone else. Really sweet man who I was in love with, but he had to kill me now. And he couldn't. And we were so sad. And he was taking long.

Oh my gosh. I have like really gnarly nightmares where I like, I like can't read them. Yeah. I have this one. It says, I hear if you say Charlie D'Amelio's name in the mirror five times, she pops up. I see Charlie D'Amelio. Oh yeah. That's literally it. I hear if you say Charlie D'Amelio's name in the mirror five times, she pops up. Like Charlie D'Amelio. Um, well I have braids with beanie at 2 25 a.m.

So I don't know what that means, maybe like it was a little style idea. Not very innovative. This one's actually pretty cool. Things I don't understand: 1. Record players, CDs in general. 2. Computer parts and how they were made. 3. Wi-Fi. 4. Cameras. 5. That other people are alive and that I'm not the only person living and everyone else is just an NPC. So you don't understand any technology.

Like, I understand technology, but, like, okay, someone tried to actually explain Wi-Fi to me. That does not make sense. No, yeah, I, like... Like, try to explain a fucking camera. Try to explain that to me. Like, how is that happening right now? Like, it's recording. Like, what is that? That doesn't make sense. I'm pretty sure it's, like, the...

There's like a reflection situation happening because it's like the idea... No, I'm not kidding. I know there's like mirrors inside of it, but like how is it transcribing it onto a fucking SD card? Oh, there's little people and they're drawing us every post. No, that is like easier. That's a way more understandable explanation than like... No, I get it.

I actually don't. I also don't understand how anything works. Like, I hate when people are trying to explain to me, oh, like better, like computers or something to get. I'm like, no, I'm like very simple minded. I've already decided I'm like an Apple tech girl or like these are the brand of cameras I like. Um,

But I don't understand. Yeah, I don't understand. You know what I think about a lot is like cameras. Dude, my brain right now is on fire. You know what I think about a lot is cameras. Are they going to start looking better? How have we met the peak? Because I'm sure people in like 2001 were like, dude, we've hit the peak. Like this is so like photorealistic. But I genuinely believe we are going too far with cameras. I'm like, all right. They don't have like... They're going to make x-ray cameras and I'm going to like use that.

I hate that getting Kai to laugh that hard. Like, Kai, like, just let out his whole fucking lung set of breath. But, yeah, try to explain fucking CD players. Like, I understand there's, like, a little groove, like, and it's following the grooves and bumping. I don't know if that's the same thing for CDs, because I don't see any groove. Like, vinyls, you can see the grooves. I think CDs literally read, like, data. CD players. Like, what the fuck does that even mean, though? Well, there's a laser in there, and it, like, scans the data. Yeah.

exactly that's what i'm saying like yeah no i don't i don't understand any other shit and don't you dare fucking get in our comments to try to explain no do it won't read it fuck you do it explain it i want to see you explain it and don't get on fucking google and copy and paste the google fucking because i've already done that no explain it in like human terms like make it understandable for me human word yeah explain like i'm five and then like computer parts like really yeah i don't

understand like when I see like you know the parts of a computer and someone's like wiring them and like doing like a mod I'm like you you were just playing like really like we put electricity through this and then it makes the access to the internet like no like no this is all like a simulation and it's fake like

I could fucking eat that shit. Like, I could crunch it up in my mouth and, like, how is that thing that I can, like, it's so malleable, how is that carrying so much information? Do you think they're going to sell our, like, you know how we can, like, go through and look at, like, letters from people, like, 2,000 years ago and we're like, whoa, like, do you think that's going to be the same, like, in 2,000 years where they're like, oh, like, look at their texts? I fucking hope not. I would kill, I would come back to life and kill myself. I mean, it's probably going to happen. Yeah.

Actually, yeah, because then I'd get more attention and pity. And people would be like, oh my God, she did suffer. But then people would be like, oh, she was gross. Like, she was horny. Yeah, I'm a horny girl. Like, like, get with it. Girls can be horny too. Actually? Yeah. Wait, really? Drew, yes.

Wait, so girls poop and get horny? Yeah. And jerk off. People... No. Yeah. People... Like, girls tell me all the time, like, I... Like, girls don't get horny. Like, that's just... Girls don't have sex. Is it because girls don't get horny around you, so someone's trying to make you feel better about that? No. No, no, no, no. Me saying girls don't have sex, you're like... No. Pokemon Stadium Nintendo 64 game, but on iPhone. Basically, copy all minigame components.

Me really just like shaking the world like with these notes. No, the thing about my notes is either it's like cryptic really fucking sad shit or me typing out like a really long thing that I need to like say to my therapist because I like need to make sure my words are being understood or it's like

Me writing out really long texts I'm gonna write out because I don't want someone to see me typing for so long and being a freak. And then what it is, is like really weird random like to-do lists that I never, ever, ever look at the next day. Like genuinely...

I write all of my to-do lists are happening at 1 to 3 a.m. And I'm like, all right, here's what I need to do tomorrow. Never once have I woken up and been like, oh my God, you know what I need to do? Check my to-do list. Like it just doesn't happen. And then I'll rewrite the same to-do list like eight times in a row. And then I'm like, whatever, I'm not going to do it. Breaking into creators' homes is another one.

If I could break into a creator's home, I don't know who I would break into. No one has a house that I'm like, yes. That's like, I need to get that. All influencers have ugly, gross homes and they have no taste and they need help. It's the post-Kardashian delusion. Like, I swear, like, a bunch of people on the internet live in a post-Kardashian world, like, dystopian, weird, like...

marble tile like freak world sterile contemporary modern like i'm sorry you're not happy did you not live in a home yeah you're not you're not happy in that house and you genuinely like need to just like get a homey house and like maybe you'll feel happier but also maybe i'm i'm saying that like we what do you mean yes

And then I got inside a mirror sphere. Make a sphere that I can get inside of. Coat the inside with reflective mirror paint. You could see the back of your head. There's things like that, Drew. They're like literally every pop-up in LA does something like that. No, but it's like a square. I'm talking sphere, like an orb. You go inside. It's all mirrors on the inside. If you think about it, you would be able to look forward and see the back of your head.

Like now y'all are thinking about it and you're like, holy shit. No, you are. What I'm thinking about is in the squares you can do that. You can't see the back of your head. Yes, you can. In the fucking corner. I'm saying look forward. Like directly forward. Is that actually how that would work? Yes. It's like literally like breaking the fucking reality. Then do it, bitch. I will. I'll prove everybody wrong. Everybody's always doubting me. Who is everybody?

All my fucking haters praying for my downfall watching this shit right now. The thing is, you cause your own downfall all the time. Like, you being like, last episode, like, y'all were praying for my downfall. Like, no, bitch, you did that to yourself. Oh, damn. There's some really dark shit in these notes. I know. I'm like, I had a hard time finding funny ones because I was like, I have really funny ones. But like, there's just a lot of just like really fucked up shit.

Does it ever make you wonder all the good times pass you by? Hmm? I think that's a lyric that I wrote down that I heard in a store. The good times roll. Oh, this is a dream. Fan came up and sing to us in hopes of getting signed. We laugh. Fan tried to cancel us for being rude. Cool. You're such a fucking cunt. Cool.

I did not do that when you said iPhone Pokemon game. Like there are fucking iPhone Pokemon games. You did. No, I laughed in unison with you. You laughed at me. I'm going to punch you in the fucking face, you stupid fucking cunt bitch. This one is my last one and we'll end on like a semi sad note. I don't even know how to interpret this. My glasses keep disappearing and I think Sam is involved. Oh my God.

Wait, should I read the ones about my mom? No, they're really sad. So basically I was probably... You were losing your mind. You thought Sam was like coming. I got bad news. Sam wasn't touching your glasses. He was a ghost. Sam is a ghost. So that was the episode. Yeah. Let's do media. Let's do your mom. Sorry, my mom died three days ago.

Literally me when my mom died and I literally didn't tell anybody. And I was like, it's like the audio where it's like my mom died three days ago and I got in a car accident and then I have to have eye surgery. My car flipped three times on the way home. Okay, I'll go first, bitch, because you're taking for fucking ever. Somebody told me to add Emily Marco TikToks to the media. I don't know how to say her name. I tried to look up her name the other day. It's like Erica. I don't know her name.

Um, but actually not to wave the like I've been here first flag, but I literally used to watch her when she was like on YouTube doing like Reformation Hall. So she's a new face to y'all, but that's been my girl since like 2018. We don't have to make any competition though. Okay, my first song and maybe no, I've just been really into like ambient music recently, like really just like bells and dings and just like sounds and drones and shit and

So I've been going through my ambient playlist, and still one of my favorite ambient songs is One Day by Nobukazu Takamori. I think it's just a really solid song. But keep in mind, it is literally just beeps and boops. There's nothing there. There's no substance. But I can listen to it a thousand times because it feels like what's going on inside of my head all the time. You should say, yeah.

And then I like Still Space by Satoshi Asakawa. Ashikawa. I like... Those are my two songs and you don't get a movie this week. Fuck you. Damn, like that. I started Squid Games. I only finished the first episode. That's what I've been watching. I only got the first episode done. And then I've been watching The Simpsons and I'm like, oh yeah, let me talk about the fucking episodes I've seen. There's literally a million. Like, it's The Simpsons. But I've been watching like earlier seasons and...

Yeah, whatever. And yeah, whatever. Then my audio media is Baby This Love I Have by Minnie Riperton, Can't Fuck With Me by Trick Daddy, Little Spacey by Cock Two Twins, and I'm going to cut it at three because I go overboard every time. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. No, I don't even want to give that away yet. No, don't. Do you know what I'm talking about? No. What we watched last night with Elsie.

No, we have to finish that before we like really go in depth. Yeah. Maybe that's a whole episode.

Well, that was this episode of Emergency Intercom. Thank you guys for watching. We'll see you next week. Unless we die in a car crash. Yeah, maybe. Or in a plane crash. Don't be so sure you're going to see us. Because a plane or something could crash into our house and explode it into a million pieces. Yeah, you should always, every time you see us, you should look at us like it's your last time. And every time you see our video, you should click on it because it might be your last time. Kai, if we die before this is uploaded...

Upload it. Yeah. And just this clip and just let people know that we manifest the world. The house down. All right. Mama slay. Yes. T wig sis. My love has come along. Is that what you're singing? Yeah.