Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.
if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, small more. Welcome back to... Like you can, like you can. Welcome back to Emergency Intercom with... Why are you... Welcome back to Emergency Intercom. Okay. Motherfucker. Oh.
See, and that's just, he thinks he can carry it all alone. It's all fun and games. Yeah, you're having fun. It's all fun and games. That's me when you found out I was banging your mom. I was like, it's all fun and games. It doesn't have to be. There doesn't have to be anger in that, you know? Right. Oh, right. Drew, are you okay? No, I'm literally being attacked. I'm being attacked constantly. He's being attacked by all the people in his fucking head.
Hey, when doing a podcast, you should have just like start scrolling through your phone. Okay. He's just, he needs his time. Guys, seriously. Wait, we popped up in one.
That was such a real reaction. That's how I scroll through TikTok is like just... I know. That's when I know it's time to walk away from the app when I can't even watch like 30, 15 second... I almost said episode. You know... Video. You know, I'm like... You know those like...
game cafes in Japan where like people will die like shitting themselves and like buckets and shit and they just die because they like are so addicted to the game yeah they don't eat that's how I'm becoming with my phone it's like to the point where I'm like laying immobilized in bed and like my brain is like get rid of this phone like throw it just throw it across the room and my hand is like clutching it tighter and tighter and it's like white knuckling and I'm like trying to get rid of it and then I just keep scrolling and it's like I get so frustrated with myself that I'm still scrolling but I just can't
Can't Stop Scrolling. Oh, wow. Can't Stop Scrolling. We got to make that a song. Yeah. That'll be a hit. It's like... That's what the mask did. That's what the point of the mask is. I hate that one. Oh, wait. It's like...
Never mind. I just had a moment again. Sorry, I sound like I'm having a stroke. But I just had a moment again where my joke would have only made sense if I literally interrupted your sentence. And then I started to interrupt you and I was like, oh my fucking God, I have to stop doing that. But I was going to say the voice in the back of your head is literally in your room you were experiencing like a Lord of the Rings type of...
like experience with fucking Gollum in the ring. And that's like your, but that's also, he's just a schizophrenic character, but maybe we should delve into that. But like, he literally like, he has voices in his head in a really scary way. And I hate that I even know so much about the Lord of the Rings. I don't even know. But that was like something my family watched growing up, but we don't have to leave that in because nobody needs to know that I'm a Lord of the Rings. No, we're leaving that in. Inya is a Lord of the Rings stand. She watches all of them. She's even down to the hobbit. Why did they make the hobbit's feet look like that? Like that was up.
That was unnecessary. For people like me. Why? Big, big hairy feet. Big man feet.
oh okay oh okay we didn't say anything you're the one going off about like whatever you just say what you fucking want to say about me like oh i'm nasty oh i'm gross oh yeah y'all didn't say anything y'all didn't just call me a freak bitch yeah because i because i like big hairy hobbit feet like what the fuck we didn't say anything you said it and then you got super weird
Can we just move on because y'all are attacking me? I mean, we're waiting for you to finish. Oh, I'll wait. Oh, I'll wait. I'll wait for you to finish. Oh, I'll wait. Oh, all right. That's what that email called you? I got the same one. Wait, which one? I wonder if they changed the... Oh, oh, oh. For that magazine. I wonder if they changed the wording a little bit. But you need to explain that. Yeah, I want it to be known that this is something I want to do. And I thought it was hilarious. And I'm not offended by it at all. But...
I got an email asking me to be a part of their magazine, and I think it's a spread or, I don't know, a big interview. I'm cover model material. They want me to be... Oh, I didn't... I mean, yesterday when you were saying it, it was way more subdued of an email. Yeah, they just want me to be a really big part, maybe even editor-in-chief of the company one day, but we'll get into that later. But...
But the issue, like without spoiling it too much, they basically were like, we just like freaks. We want to talk to freaks and people who have and like gay. Like we want to talk to gay freaks. And I was like, oh. Because like this issue, we're going to be exploring what it's like to be a freak and
And we're going to be exploring sexuality. Yeah. And I was like, oh, so I'm a gay freak. I got the same email. And then I had to reply. And I was like, hey, you need to get rid of the last part because that is not fucking me. The freak part. And then we got into a big argument, me and this person. Yeah. So I guess I'm not getting the cover with you. It's going to be you. That's great. I got an email from the Big Perfect Penis magazine. Oh, really? Yeah. BPM.
BPP? BPP. Didn't they spill oil into the ocean or something? That company? And killed a bunch of ducks. Yeah, and they got flagged down for Photoshop. Yeah. Like it came out that all they do is Photoshop. That's a different company. This is just a magazine that focuses on people with big, perfect penises. I think you're supporting a big oil company that fracks and causes earthquakes. No, this is a totally different thing. Okay.
okay you would though that's kind of your vibe um like oil money i saw you just give that i saw this girl talking about like literally gaslighting gaslighting wait what the fuck is gaslighting it's like this new thing it's like similar to gaslighting but it's called gaslighting it's like you know like you know like kaylee like l-e-i-g-a-h it's gaslighting like l-e-i-g-h-i-n-g it's like
It's a good vibe. I didn't understand the first part of that. Like, what word did you say? Kaylee, like the middle of America names keep getting longer and it used to be like K-A-Y-L-E-Y or whatever, however you spell fucking Kaylee. But now it's K-A-Y-L-E-I-G-H and it's like Daxley, D-A-X-L-E-I. They add Lee to the end of everything. But if you are changing it from gaslighting to gaslighting, you know that only one letter changes. It doesn't add a letter.
But it's like, lei. You're saying like, L-E-I-G-H-T-I-N-G. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, lei, lei, lei. Right, right. But I saw this, like, person talking about, like...
and gaslighting the audience about like what it was like to be a Victoria's Secret model back then. And like they were like, I mean, it's like not our fault that like we're so beautiful and we have such good genetics and like saying like and sure, they edited the shit out of us, but like a lot of it was us and they were like making it seem like the young generation of girls growing up on Victoria's Secret was like the problem that they were tuning in. And like, I don't know, I just thought it was funny.
Yeah, well, because you're trying to tell an extremely hot person that they're not that hot. Like, that's basically what you're doing. It's like, okay, yes, we understand you're sexy, but you were being photoshopped to look even sexier. It's like, no, I like, okay, like, backtrack, because I am sexy. So why don't you just leave it there? Why does it have to be a thing? Literally, but...
So I stand with the Victoria's Secret models. Yeah, I was going to say at the end of the day, that's like all I got. Like God didn't give you huge boobs by seventh grade, then tough luck. I had to go through that too. And you know what? I don't know how I survived, but I did.
Some things you just make it through. Country girls make do. Country girls make do. Speaking of school, I miss hiding the wire in my headphones. Oh, because we saw that TikTok that was like people like showing how they're going to hide their AirPod. We'll insert it. Do you have an AirPod in, ma'am? Do you have AirPods in your ear? Mm-hmm.
But it's like, Kai, because you haven't seen it, because, like, we don't send you stuff, because, like, you're not our friend once you leave this house. It was this TikTok of these girls, like, showing how they're going to take their AirPod out when the teacher is like, do you have an AirPod in? And they're using their hair to cover, and they're like, oh, no. And then they're, like, grabbing it and moving their hair to the side with the AirPod, like, in their hand to grab it so the teacher doesn't see it. And me and Drew were talking about how...
That was like such a thing for us, but with wired headphones. And I don't know if you did that, too, or if you were so fucking old that they didn't have that kind of technology. I don't know. Running it through the shirt and down the arm and it like comes out and you have to like sit it on your ear like this. We had headphones when I was in high school. Oh, high school. They have those in like middle school and stuff.
Yeah, they had them in middle school and they had them before I was in middle school. But I'm not the big ones that like astronauts like use. Oh, you mean not the ones that are steam powered? Yeah, not the steampunk. Oh, then never mind. You're right. Yeah, right.
I don't know why I went down that tangent. Yeah, we were just talking about, like, how in high school, like, we had to do that. But now people can just, like, wirelessly take them out and hide it with just their hair. And we had to, like, hide it through our shirt. But, like, I feel like our way is way easier. Because, like, you just drop it and it goes through your thing. You take it off. And, like, now you have to, like, pull your hair to side and, like, pull it out. I don't think I ever got caught with headphones on in class. And then...
Yeah, because I think it wasn't like a popular thing to do now. But now it's popular to have headphone in, hit, vape, eat hot Cheeto and lie in high school, which is like really weird. Fuck. I thought of something so fucking funny. Like as we were talking about that, what were we talking before? It doesn't matter anymore. I lost it. But like there was something that popped into my head that was like literally the funniest thing I was ever going to say ever. And it sucks that I lost it.
You get to see me just go through it and just be the person I want to be. Just experience that loss. Would you still love me if I was gay? Wait, say that. I think I'm mishearing that sentence. Say it again. Would you still love me if I was gay? Why do you keep saying, like, if? Like, if you were... Are you hearing him or am I tripping? Yeah. It seems like he's confused. Hey. Oh, yeah, he's not here. That's why. Hey, come on. What's going on? Come on. We love you because you are gay. Where am I?
Where am I? You're at your house doing a podcast. I have been studying like near-death experiences a lot. Yeah. And I want to experience that so fucking bad. Like,
That shit is dramatized. I feel like everyone might be just lying a little bit to, like, sell a book, but, like, also all other experiences being so similar is so fascinating, and, like, I genuinely... But I also, like, have become attached to it because, like, when my brother died, it was so sudden and scary that, like, I needed something to, like, latch onto, and it was just, like...
Oh, like near death experiences like DMT, like when you do DMT, it's a very similar trip experience to when like people die for six minutes and they experience the world and everything all at once and like all this shit. And I was just like, oh, that's like really comforting to know that there is some form of afterlife, whether it's like religious or spiritual or not. But yeah, I was just like watching videos of people talk about near death experiences and it was like
It's blowing my mind because all these people like share the same experience. And I don't know, like, and this was like long before the internet where people could watch a video and then be like, I'm just going to regurgitate that, but add my own twist to it. And so it sounds like it's real, but it isn't. And I don't know, it's just, it was really cool to like, just go on that deep dive. And I'm like, oh, I need to experience a near death experience.
How do you make that happen without like literally just putting yourself in danger? You have to put yourself in danger. The risk versus reward. That's a good way to look at life. Like you have to put yourself in danger to see what life has to offer you. Well, are you going to do it or what? Yeah, I think I'm going to attempt tonight. Yeah, I think you should like make it happen. Yeah. Wait, do I have to be around or are you just going to like... Well, yeah, because you have to resuscitate me. Oh my God. But then I wouldn't...
be near death you'd need her to be like out no no it needs to be six minutes that's the longest i can go and to explore the afterlife and and then when i'll meet like a mirror version like the enlightened version of myself that kind of looks like me but has like a different haircut or something and literally all he says to me is like no you gotta go back like it's not your time and then i get sucked into my body through my belly button is that what people describe yeah an enlightened version of themselves
Not like an enlightened version, but it's like the underworld version. Why do you give yourself a different haircut? Because it's a key. That's how you know? Just for fun. And I had highlights. And I had really nice nails on. Envisioning my enlightened version. I was like, oh, I had like an eyelash perm. And my hair was really long. I had a nice blowout that day. That's my enlightened version. So you mean like the gay version of your hair?
Oh, okay. Wow. Okay. So that goes to answer his question. If you were gay, he wouldn't love you, apparently. Wow. No. There's the answer right there. I'm saying because you're straight and then you get... I'm helping you with your original statement that you're straight. How about you pipe the fuck down...
And stop coming for me and attacking my character. Stop coming for my friend's neck. Stop coming on me, bro. It's crazy. Stop coming on his back. Both of y'all are coming all over me right now and it's fucking scaring me. No, it's coming for me. You don't say coming on me. You say coming for me. Oh. But I come for you all the time. You know that. We know that, though. You know that. Who?
the freaks who were downloading Halo onto the computers at school because you always got to the computer and Halo was there but who was the freak who took the time to fucking download it and I did know a kid who like that was his talent he was like watch this like and he knew how to download it and why was that like a flex because all of us were genuinely amazed we couldn't believe it felt like he was hacking the system he grew up to become
What is it? Yotoshi Sakamoto. Natoshi Sakamoto. Yeah, Natoshi Sakamoto. Who is that? Or Satoshi Nakamoto. Yeah, because it's like Samsung, Motorola, like all of it. It's the guy that made Bitcoin. Oh, right. The anonymous figure. But you know his name. Kai, can you stop talking about Bitcoin? You're scaring the hoes. Okay.
Dude, you brought it up. Simply can't win. No. Yeah. That was always a vibe, but like...
Y'all, I don't know if they're experiencing typing class the way we did right now. No, there's no way. Typing class was like fucking lit. And then you would have like computer time, like once a week for like 30 minutes or like in between periods or something or a full period. And like you'd go in and you play like the most bunk fucking games you've ever played in your life. But like I have vivid memories of them being like the best game. Like I think there was one called like Cyberchase or something where
cyber chase pop tropica oh my god there's one more like uh almost borderline mmo but it wasn't really but like those pop tropica tropica and cyber chase were like the best games i've ever played in my life and actually i'm gonna start playing it again um tonight dude wait actually there was another one my brother texted it to me literally like
four days ago or I think whoa whoa whoa whoa I just accidentally started sharing my photos with that person did you ever play boom bang no but that art style is awesome boom bang was like pop tropica and it was so fun that's so you know that uh little city that you always talk about that I was like oh I want to go there so bad that like you grew up like being a kid and experiencing like the workforce and like
that oh wanna do city wanna do city they're building one in fort worth dallas i think it's already open but like you can go in and like be a fast food worker but like you're actually getting to eat like the fast food that you make like i think there's like a pizza hut in there or some like that and you like i loved wanna do city wanna do city was truly making children dream of labor like it was amazing and i loved it i loved every second it's a labor simulator
For children. For children. And, like, it's so fucking bizarre. But also, like, that shit...
It's fun as fuck. It was literally the most fun ever working at Publix at the ripe age of seven years old. I was really feeling my oats and I couldn't believe that I was able to do that. I saw the most bizarre ad I've ever seen in my life. Sorry, guys. I have COVID. This is going to be another cut because I'm going to have to find this or you can talk while...
Oh, I will keep talking, actually. Because isn't it so weird to think that the people watching this for the majority, I feel like we have a large portion of our audience who is near our age. But we...
we literally grew up in the generation that had computer class. We had computer room and computer class. They were still such big contraptions and took up so much space and made no sense in our day-to-day life and kind of seemed useless to us for the most part that we literally were dedicating times to learning how to do it. And I think about it, I was not a fast typer until I was out of high school.
Like, I was always really slow at typing because I was just like, why the fuck do I need to type? And then, like, nearing the end of high school, I was like, oh, shit. Like, you need to type out emails and everything that's ever going to happen in your life is going to happen on a computer now. Yeah. I think, like, growing up, we just didn't realize that, like, it was going to take over the world in the way it did. But, like, I still remember the first thing I bought on eBay. Yeah.
And I remember it was so sketchy feeling, like I thought I was committing a crime. And I Loki did, 'cause it was like blind robbery. This kid was selling his copy of "Pokemon Stadium 2."
And I got it for so fucking cheap. And that's when I first found out about how awful and terrible shipping was and how you could buy something for 99 cents, but it would be like $12 shipped. And it was just like, it felt like a war crime. Actually, yeah, that's the tea. Well, did you find the... No, I couldn't find the ad. But basically, it was this ad of like, it made me tear up, but it was like this...
family. That was like, kind of like, you couldn't really understand the dynamic. And it was just this like, really beautiful ad like that had nothing to do with the fucking brand at the end of it. And it was just so so bizarre. It was like, about like this daughter, like, calling this man in her life, like by his name and like,
her daughter, like, whatever it is to him, like, was saying, like, not his real name. And then the older woman, like, got married. And then, like, she called him dad by the end of the commercial. And it was just, like, a really cute, like...
commercial but then at the fucking end it was literally a Publix ad and it was so bizarre that like it was just like big beautiful like written out story and then it just had the P logo at the end yeah let's talk about Publix just being robbed by Beats by Dre for their logo yeah
I mean, I guess. It's like, I don't think anybody's ever said that. And I think if you looked at those logos, you might find that they're very different. No, the P is just upside down P. They made like an awful modernized logo. Oh, did Beats change their logo? No, B is an upside down B. Having Beats in high school and middle school made you a fucking superstar. Yeah. Like,
They're trying to get that back, but you... Oh, it literally is. You literally cannot recreate the hype around Beats. It just won't happen again. Like, we don't have... We don't have Ludacris to wear them in a music video and hold up a Beats pill with Nicki. Like, you just won't... It won't be a thing again. Also, their speakers suck. I remember I...
like ordered these like really special pair of beats they were like dj beats and they like had these like ears that spun back and like they weren't the big ones though and i ordered them from japan and like i was telling all my friends about it and i was like well i'm getting the coolest pair of beats headphones like y'all have no idea and like i told them and they were like oh sick and then they would ask me about it like months later and i was like
I still haven't gotten them and I looked like the kid that was like, oh yeah, my best friend's like a doctor. Like he's our age and he's a genius. Like that type of vibe. But then they finally got there and they were the greatest thing ever. And I was so fucking swaggy. Like it was crazy. Like everybody wanted to use them. Oh, they actually ended up showing up. Yeah, they ended up showing up. But like months later, it was like I was pre-ordering them or something. And like they were a Japan only release. So like...
Yeah, it just took forever to get here. Like shipping on like freight trade or some shell, if I can know the word. The big boats, the big ass boats. But yeah, beats were like a crucial time in our life.
I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like, I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like, I miss the taste. Segwaying, I feel like
I don't know if this is a hot take, but I feel like people should start bragging more. Like, I feel like we live in like an un-braggadocious culture and...
I love bragging. Like, bring that shit back. Like, talk about your shit and, like, be excited for each other. Like, why the fuck, like, are you jealous? Yeah, we are really, like, doom generation vibes. Just like, yeah, my life freaking sucks and I'm such a fucking loser. And, like, it's very confident-less. But I guess I understand because now to see so many people all the time on your iPhone is just so unnatural. And I feel like that's...
what makes it so easy to be insecure. Like, why is it a spectrum? You were either like a pretty insecure person, like wildly insecure, or you are so braggadocious and delusional that literally you live. You start a podcast called Emergency Intercom. I love when someone's doing something so normal, but they talk about it like they're going to change the world. Oh, yeah. Like every step of the way. Like it's literally just like,
And I know what you might be thinking. This is crazy, but I just had to do it. Someone like me, when I get the thought, I just go for it and I never let anything stop me. When people talk about their life like that and it's a simple task, I can't believe it. It's like, bruh, it's like a one color puffy paint screen print on a Gildan like hoodie. Like you're not changing the world.
You are not serving Balenciaga right now. It's just like random. And you're either end of that. And I do feel like we need to meet a middle ground where people are able to brag about their life without sounding crazy. But then I guess maybe I'm the problem because why does someone with confidence sound crazy to me? I'm the problem. It's me.
You know that TikTok of... It was like every song in the early 2000s versus now. Every pop song. It was like, tonight we're gonna go to the club. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the other one's like, I walked alone. It was like a fucking... Like sad ass songs. Yeah. But covered in pop melodies. And opium. It was like...
Like an acoustic, like, Claro type song, I guess is what they were saying. And then... How did you just say that? Claro? Claro. Claro? Claro. Claro. Claro sounds like a car insurance company. You're weird! You're weird! I have an accent. One of these weeks.
Oh, I'm sorry. I have an accent. And you're like making fun of me. I do too. And you're making fun of both of us. You're a fucking villain. I feel like that's like a very much a sign of the generational like
I feel like people in the early 2000s were like, let's get fucked up. Like there's no repercussions for what we do. I think they called it like recession pop or something like that. Like post-recession pop. Because it was like, let's go out and get fucked up. And like life is so good and fun. Like I mean literally that song, the Katy Perry song that got remixed B-B-O-P plug style or whatever the fuck. Tee-tee.
it's like he keeps calling plug gmb every other letter of the fucking alphabet yeah um but yeah and now it's like i'm gonna kill myself and i'm gonna cut my wrists and i'm gonna do bad things to other people and do opium like i love heroin why does it kind of just sound like your inner monologue because i haven't heard that song yeah i was thinking it's more of like a like a gentle acoustic song
But that sounds cool. Are you trying to say something? Do you need help? Yeah. My mic keeps falling, by the way. I fully understand. And then that's also something that I was thinking about. Like, obviously, we've had the discussion about how we don't own the music we buy anymore. Like, we're renting everything, even like the shows. And it kind of freaks me out a little bit because it's like, where is that money going? Like, I don't when the fucking server shut down, like I wasted 10 grand on Spotify and Netflix ads, like paying for it, like whatever. Yeah.
I was thinking about it and like this dude started a conversation and he was like, why the fuck
Like think about like best new artists this year, like who is going to be the best new artists this year? Like the music has become oversaturated, which I think is a good thing. Like I'm like, yeah, make your music be creative. But like there's no one out like right now that's like best new artists. And it was like something like 70% of people right now are listening to old music and like 25% like,
I don't know the exact statistics, but it was like basically everyone is listening to old music. No one's listening to new music. And like the top 100 chart, like streams on Spotify, like only accounted for like 5% of like the streams for 2023, which is like really crazy because like music release in 2022, 2023, like no one gives a fuck about anymore. And like, it was just like,
like to think about. And I was like, damn. Like there's no, I guess there are movies, like I guess Timothee Chalamet is the closest thing, but I watched like...
Fight Club recently? I was like, oh, Brad Pitt was like the big... Rule number one. Oh, yeah. We don't talk about Fight Club. No, you're totally right. Never seen that fucking movie. You're missing out. It's actually good beyond just jawlines and mewing. Everybody's obsessed with that movie, but I wish they stared at the poster a little longer and then took notes and started to use soap because you stink. Oh.
That's good. Gym cells are literally even more fucking loser freaks than the awkward people, but keep going. Oh, my God. Oh, there's not really movie stars. I think Timothee Chalamet is kind of the one.
the one that I would say is like the new movie star yeah is it because of social media like literally everyone's so accessible that it's like literally it's so like I forget what the word is but I use it all the time where it's like I don't like or not me but like people have been putting so much of themselves out girl the world is the fighter jets are coming literally what the hell but people are putting so much of themselves out here that like they like spread they like put
put their image out there so much that like you can get it all in one go and then move on to the next person like what is that word I've been using I can't think of it it's like over saturating themselves or something like that like just like
you can just access it all at once yeah because it used to be you have to wait for pictures of the these people you had to like you didn't know what they were up to at all you didn't know what there was no 24 hours with meryl shriek like for on vogue like you didn't see what she got up to in her day and now there's so much of that also there's just such a wide range of
like fame now you can be on like a micro niche level or you could be timothy chalamet and because of that everybody can pick the because i feel like with fame culture there was always this it was always did i tell you about me and timothy like hanging out um
Or fuck, I forgot we're doing the podcast. Yeah, you're not supposed to like... I shouldn't talk about that on here. I know. You just get so real when you talk to me that you forget there's certain things you're not supposed to... Yeah, it was like me, Duleepa... Okay, dude. Okay, the camera... Like, stop. Because it's gonna be hard to cut that. But... Demonized.
Yeah, like, celebrity culture used to be so demonized in terms of people who fixated on it and consumed it. And I do think to a certain extent, it is still very evil because like the media is scary in terms of what they do to other people's mental health. And like, but that's another conversation about like, whatever. The hurricane rule number one.
Err, example number one. That shit was a money-making machine. Everyone that was afraid of it watched the news and listened to the news. And I don't blame you because I did the same fucking thing. And it was only good to make this hurricane seem bad. It profited everyone, the news, because you're tuning in, all the TikTokers on the live streams, like all of the TikTokers making TikToks about it, literally the grocery stores.
I didn't fall for it because I'm from fucking Miami and I'm not scared of a tropical storm and you're a little bitch. Sorry. Oh my God. Wow. Oh yeah. I wanted the devastation. I know. I wanted chaos. I wanted the world to end. Like I wanted to see buildings crumble, but like watching and
in celebrity culture used to be so demonized, but now it is such a normal. Like, nobody questions the fact that people know exactly what every celebrity is up to and all the gossip. I feel like it used to be a big thing where it's like, you're such a fucking loser. Why do you give a fuck about them? They don't give a fuck about you. Like, just watch their movies and keep it pushing. And people who tapped into, like, magazine culture and all that, like, it was demonized and seen as, like, gossip.
and now it's not that way anymore because there's also such a big spectrum you could either be on that side of it or you could be a way lesser severity where there's just somebody who you fucking watch on your iPhone dude you're like I fuck with this person if I saw them I wouldn't freak out I would just be like oh my
God, hey, like, I like hear your voice all the time. That's cool. So now because there's such a huge spectrum, like, there's not such polar opposites of like, you're either a huge fan or you're not a fan at all. Now it's like, oh, no, I just there's a few people who I like to watch.
Dude, and it's fucking like so weird that like everyone knows that I have a giant penis. And it's just like this big story. It's because all these tabloids and media outlets are like... I don't think you've ever had a single tabloid written about you. It's so fucked up that I have like this giant penis and everyone knows about it. And like...
They shouldn't know that when I twerk, my ass claps. But they do. I'll just be twerking in the club, having fun with Drake and shit. You'll just be twerking in the rain. And someone will take a video of it and post it online. And it's just like, I can't be myself. Do you have that video? And is there sound? No, there's no sound in the video. I had it DMCA'd, so it's deleted everywhere. Fuck, okay. Yeah, I don't even have it. When's the next time you're going to go out, do you think? Tomorrow or something. Okay.
Yeah. Can I get like on the, is there like a list or is it like, can I just pull up? We'll see. We'll see. Because it's like a big event when I start twerking and shit. Okay. Yeah. I don't want to, that's not like you're misreading the situation because that's not why I want to go. I don't want to go because I don't want to see. I always just said something so nasty and I'm going to move on. Let's talk about direct energy weapons. Oh my God. No.
Please, no. No, that's one thing that I don't believe in. That's the one thing I don't believe in. Like, even Kai doesn't know what that is. We can't get into this. It's big ass lasers that are fired down to, like, cause devastation.
fire down like rain down upon the earth what do you get up to on that phone i'm not kidding you need to start going leaving the house like we need to host an intervention for drew because he wakes up at 5 30 a.m and sits in his bed on his iphone and then by 2 p.m he hobbles out here and he's like oh dude i don't feel good and then throws himself on the couch and he's like should we go eat and i'm like yeah let's go eat and he's like oh like i don't want to get in the car i'll just think about it and then goes back to his
and continues to use his phone for an extra four hours and then at 6pm he's like I'm gonna order so much food so that I have food for tomorrow and then he does that and then has like four bites and is like oh my stomach hurts and then he saves the food and then at 2am he eats all of it while it's cold and then he goes to sleep and he wakes up at 5 again
Well, because I don't, eating right now is really hard for me because I literally go to sleep right after I eat. It's really bizarre. It's so scary. So I'm like, fuck, like if I eat now, I'm going to go to sleep and it sucks. That you need to see a specialist because that is not normal. Food is supposed to give you energy. And y'all are some bitches. Wow. Okay. Wow. So leave me the fuck alone. Wait, Drew, what do you think of- Let's see your screen time.
Oh, yeah. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Please, please. 24 hours. Dude, the most I've ever seen it was it was literally like 16, 17 hours. It was 16 and a half hours. It was when I was back in Texas. That's like right when you stopped sleeping. No, Kai, literally. There was even a spike in the middle of the night for two hours. It was so fucking crazy. It was all day. And I remember the day because I was like, I'm going for a world record right now. This is so hard. Like, he literally, like...
he got a like exact seven hours and 38 minutes of sleep woke up opened his iphone and then was on it until the moment he went back to sleep like so we can't air this out because like people can't know how much i'm on my phone um because why not because i don't text people back
and they will know but also i'm like everyone does that like that's yeah that's normal can we normalize not texting people back all the time can we normalize not constant fucking communication with each other leave me the fuck alone i'll see you when i see you damn that actually pisses me off i'm not kidding like people who are like why don't you text me back like you don't have other contacts on your iphone like you just want to play an iMessage game or something like go download an app why are we talking what are we talking about
Dude, I feel that too. I feel like I have so much pressure and I'll like mark everything to respond to it. I'm like, what am I doing? This is just like someone saying, what up? This isn't an email. What is that? My average is 33 minutes. Oh, no, that was today. Come on. Actually, there's no way that was today because you've definitely been up since like 6 a.m. Your average is 33 minutes. Yeah, look, it's literally right here, y'all. Let me see. I need, like Drew, I'm not kidding. I need to know what your screen time is. I bet mine is bad right now too because I've been on like... Screenshot. Oh, that was a... Oh, yeah.
March 14, 2021. Oh, wow. Why'd you have that? Did you look up screen time? Yeah, I looked up 45 minute screen time screenshot. For some reason, I think I turned it off because it was scaring me, but it's not loading. Look. No, no, no, no. Give me that. It's literally not loading. Wait, let me see. No, I don't want you to go through my phone. Oh, there we go. Oh, okay.
No, no, it gets a week. That's today. Okay, scroll. You are so annoying right now. I'm going to fucking freak out. Okay. Okay, you're not the worst. It's like looking like nine hours. No, you over exaggerated. Well, you had one that was eight hours and 43 minutes and then one that was nine hours and 15 minutes. And then one that was eight and then one that was seven. So it's actually eight hours a day, not nine. So let's get one thing straight. I mean, I'm not much better than you.
Damn. And when I was in Portugal, my shit was too lit. When I was in Portugal and Europe, I literally my average was two hours a day. Oh, damn. That's good. And then it bumped up to a way it went up 153% because I went to six hours a day, seven hours and 50 minutes. And then my average last week was five hours a day.
So I'm better than you in a lot of ways. That's what you, you know, that's the fun thing about,
thing about screen time is you use it as a tool to feel okay so kai is better than you and yeah how does that make you feel on that fucking laptop like a little workhorse so it's different that's an art honestly how you flip that yeah let's talk about by the way guys mine was three hours and 30 minutes yeah it's lower he only showed us one week though so i don't have to show the other exactly let's talk about
how I literally predicted this fucking hurricane. - Oh my God, man. - Let's fucking talk about it. Did I not say for the last two episodes before this, something big is coming and it's gonna happen to LA. - You said that every episode.
And let's just say it again. Something big is going to happen next week. I don't know if it's going to be an earthquake, if it's going to be a tsunami. Like, it's going to be something gnarly, though. Like, I've been saying this for a while. But why is that the thing you want to lay claim to? Is that complete devastation? Because I can predict the future. I have, like, almost like a female's intuition. Like, I know a lot of things. Actually, it goes beyond that. Wait a second. What? I've gotten an enlightened intuition. Like, it goes beyond...
pull my thoughts from this stream of consciousness that people can't access. You literally scare me. Like, this is not a normal person. There's no way this is a normal person. I subconsciously have been asking for help for Drew's mental state because every time someone asks about him, I'm like, he is going down a crazy
one right now no it's all a goof and a gaffe I'm not like this in real life I'm gonna start gaslighting you into thinking that you're going crazy then you actually go crazy and just be like dude you're literally scaring me I don't know we shouldn't talk about this and I'll say that to you every day for like five weeks and see what happens do you believe in um remote viewing
What is that? You don't know what remote viewing is? Is it like someone tapping into your computer and watching you? No, remote viewing is like this thing that like psychic people can do. Oh, I can do that. They can put their consciousness like in any part of the universe. I can do that. Yeah, I can put that one. I can put mine in other people's heads too.
you don't know about the CIA? Like it like came out, the CIA was like, Oh, is it like the people that like were weird on Tik TOK where they were like, I'm going to go into a different dimension and they like close their eyes and they like wake up and they're like, I just experienced like a world. Okay. I've seen that on Tik TOK, but it's called something else. They, Oh, shifting. They called it shifting. Um,
But I know shifting, but I don't know remote viewing. I watched a video on it. Since like the 70s, the CIA has been like hiring these people. And one guy was like, oh. Dude, we have too much free will as humans. One guy was like, Jupiter has rings. Or yeah, Jupiter has rings. And we didn't know that until recently. I feel like Jupiter has always had rings. I think it's Saturn. Saturn has rings. It's like definitively had rings. Oh, yeah. Right. Right.
Did y'all see that picture of Saturn's rings where they like got up and close and like
you think they're like this thin ring made of sand but like it's actually like asteroids the size of fucking mount everest creating like these mountains and the rings that are like three earths tall and they're super fucking i don't want to even think about that much i saw but me not knowing the difference between jupiter and saturn just now um reminded me of a comment i saw that was like we need to see and you go against science like
Like the battle of me knowing nothing. Against science. Right. You know what's funny is I feel like recently people have been like, damn, Enya really doesn't know shit. But I've been saying that. Y'all just aren't listening to me. From the beginning, from the very beginning, I was like, emotional intelligence. Got it. Good. Awesome. Take out the emotional. What? Take out the emo. I want to pull your fucking hair.
Take out the emotion. Oh, I got to a point last night where I was really wanting to pull people's hair. I don't know. Something's wrong with me. It's my I'm just healing my inner child. What's so bad about that? You know? Yeah. But why do you want to pull people's hair? Because you know how like as a kid when you would like be upset or feel something and you didn't know how to express it. So you pulled someone's hair. I still want to do that.
I mean, the whole yoga trend was just healing other people's inner childs. Yeah. Oh, my God. Wow. Said consciously. Oh, my God. We went down the craziest fucking rabbit hole and we want to film us doing it. Yeah, we're going to make a video of it. But I was so fucking scared. I have never thought, like sat and thought about the fact that there are right wing IG baddies. It's so crazy. Like there are girls who are like serving...
Like ass, tiny waist, big boobs. But it's for a chomp bikini. Yeah, it's like in a Donald Chomp bikini waving a Donald Chomp flag in a cornfield. He's going to jail. I know. Like he literally is going to jail. His bail is set at $200,000. What? He has that though. Yeah, he'll get out immediately. So he's not. But he's going to jail. Like he's turning himself in. He's going to Atlanta to turn himself in.
Wait, but if you bail yourself out, oh, that's just so you don't have to sit there until trial? Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. Wow. It's crazy. It's crazy. Should we start the documentary right now about it so that we make a bunch of money and profit off of it? Oh, yeah. Because somebody's doing that. I don't think I knew that. You knew that. I didn't know that. The bail thing. I thought bail, you just were... You didn't have to go to jail anymore. No.
Oh, how the tables turn, Mr. Stupid. I think you need to give yourself more credit. Yeah, I agree. I genuinely was like, holy shit. It's a defense mechanism. Yeah, I just like, because I'm a girl, I have to protect myself and be dumb. It's all these...
misogynist like attacking my girl um for her intelligence but they really see a lot of themself in her and it's an insecure thing and they're not listening they're not hearing you when you say it but it's because they refuse to hear a woman and i think that is fucked up misandry this misogyny that what you need to do is come over here and massage this pussy oh
Nice. That was good. That was really good, guys. I feel like anybody who was watching my face while you were talking just now saw my brain make that up. And I was like doing my best to wait until you stopped talking. And it happened. Also, somebody commented, why did I think on a picture of me as a baby? Somebody commented, why did I think and you grew up in a house with no toys and holes in the wall? Which is like crazy.
No dirt floor, like a dirt floor. Like the craziest thing I've ever seen someone say. But no, actually, my family had an awesome amount of money for literally the first like four years of my life. So I had nice things and then it all crumbled under my feet. And then I knew what it was like to live
Um, happily. And then at a very young age, have it all taken away from you and know the fraudulence that is life and how gimmicky it is and how easily it fluctuates. And one day you could be the happiest you've ever been and have no problems. And then the next day you're seven years old and you're already thinking about wanting to kill yourself and telling your parents that if you had to live in this situation forever, you think you'd kill yourself. So then your parents tell you that killing yourself is illegal. So then until you're like 12, you're
You think killing yourself is illegal. So you try to stop thinking about it. Buried under the jail, baby. You try really hard. No, you know what's crazy? I imagine myself dead in a cell. With a chain on. With a chain on and handcuffs. And I was like, oh my God, that's so scary. I don't want that to be where my body rots. So you try really hard to push off those thoughts until you're 12 and you get access to the internet and you learn it's not illegal and you can keep thinking about it.
That's really, really fucking dark. Like, what I was thinking about was, like, me twerking and shit, like, the whole time you were talking. Twerking in the rain! Ay! But we do this thing where we deep dive, er,
I do this thing where I deep dive on TikTok and it's like, it's a skilled craft. Like it's something I've honed over the last year, a few years. But like you start on one video, you go to the sound, you scroll down until like it's the most random fucking person you've ever seen. You go to their account and then you see how weird they are. And then you go to their sounds and then like you click on that sound, you find another person, then you go to their comments and you see these weirdos like commenting on their videos. And then you go to their pages and you're just in this like
really fucking crazy deep dive that like is it's uncontrollable and you find the most bizarre fucking people ever but it's so fun to airplay it to the TV and sit with your friends and just like make jokes about the whole thing because like you end up finding like like me if I didn't have a podcast or like an online platform like making TikToks like it would it's crazy it's really really bizarre. Dude the best one is wait
This one, I'm not kidding. When I saw this, I almost pissed myself. This was her pinned TikTok. It had 11,000 likes and she was replying to every single comment, basically. All of them. And she ate us up. Let's do it. Her whole page was like that.
She slowed it down like 700%. Like, damn, dude. She's too fucking awesome. Like, she is like... What's insane is she is genuinely living her life right now. She probably lives, I'm going to say, like on the like mid-east side of... Yeah, like she does not live close to us by any means.
Her day is, like, not over, but it's, like, kind of coming to an end. She's like, okay, I get to clock out soon. Like, I get to go home, make my TikToks, like, have, like, my dinner, have my snack. She probably has to pick up her kids. Like, she genuinely has a whole life, and all we know of her is that snippet where she was feeling the fuck out of herself and hating gay people at the same time. Because that's also a crazy combo, is to be feeling yourself and, like, just be like,
Yeah, serving to the camera. And spreading hate. Like, that combo is insane. Spreading hate. We need to change the last three. Okay.
Here's my take. I was really enthralled in this picture of Luna and Madeline and Steven. She's so good. She's on her first flight. My family's coming out here. Oh my God, that's so exciting. I can't wait to see Luna. And she's sleeping here. So everybody loves to spread hate, but we need to work together to change the last three letters or the second to last letter and the second letter and hate. And then we will be happy.
spreading whole. So we need to switch the A with an O and the T with an L, which should be super easy because if you write out spread hate and you erase the little foot on the A and you erase the little arms on the T, spread whole. Yeah, I just don't associate with the alphabet mafia. Like, fuck all that shit. Oh my god, what is that? What is that? The L by GP2 or something like that. Oh, okay.
Chad GP too. Okay, so I doubt you did it. And I will eat my words if you did. But I asked Anya to write down things that she's super lazy. Like what's the laziest thing she's ever done? You know what's so annoying is maybe this is a question of my lack of self-awareness. But I don't think I have gross lazy things I do. But it has to do more with my like
My, like, germaphobic tendencies that I don't have. Like, anything that's super lazy. I think my laziest thing I do is I stall on changing the litter box. Like, Azul's litter box. Like, I definitely should change it more often. But it's never super, super nasty. The laziest thing you do is that lip mask thing.
that you put on and you wipe it off with a paper towel then you throw it in the toilet and it looks like an aborted fetus in the toilet. No, I throw it in the toilet not out of laziness but one, it's fun because it spreads and I like to see the ink spread. No. And then two, I don't want to put it in the trash can because I don't want people who come over to look into the trash can when they're throwing something away. No, I mean like you don't flush it. Oh.
Oh, well, I don't flush it because that's also how when I... Before I go to sleep, when I pee a bunch, but I'm not actually peeing, my brain is just scared that I'm going to piss in my sleep if I see a toilet. So I'll go to the bathroom and then I didn't really pee and then I don't want to flush it even if I put a napkin in there because I'm like, I didn't actually pee. I don't want to waste water. Tea. Literally tea. You're calling me lazy, but I'm innovating. My lazy things that I do...
Um, obviously like Uber Eats, like almost every meal, like literally cook a fucking meal challenge. I wash my laundry, but instead of putting them on hangers, I let them sit on the floor of my closet for a month and then take them out from that pile. And then it gets so bad that I'm like putting my dirty clothes in that pile. And I don't know if a shirt is clean or dirty and I wear it anyways because it's not that fucking deep.
And I'm sure this one is universal. I'm sure, Kai, you've probably done this before. It's like, no, it's an everyone thing. But when I take a massive log dump and I know it's shower day because I shower like once every four or five days, I won't wipe my ass because I'm just like, oh, I'll be showering in seven or eight hours. Yeah, you're doing what I do in my other scenarios, but except really gross because where are you going with this?
Yes. So you don't wipe and then you just go into the shower? On shower days, no. No, I normally shower at like nighttime, so it's like seven or eight hours between like turd and vibe. Do you have a removable head of the shower? No. Well. He does a handstand. I do that, but I'll just absolutely blast my shit with the removable head.
my legs are literally just stop because I just like thought about literally getting conilingus from the showerhead I thought about the like a dingleberries that would be shot off like when you clean it like a long-haired dog's butt after they poop and it really grossed me out well this is by far the worst one in 2022
I had a day where I only walked 74 steps the entire fucking day. What are your steps looking like nowadays? They're actually healthy. They're not like crazy. What's healthy? Like 400? No, like in the thousands. Okay. Yeah.
Where's this fucking photo? Because I have a screenshot of it. I'm really trying to think. Yeah, I couldn't think of anything I do that's lazy. One, because I lack self-awareness. But I guess I have a chair in my room that I will go into my room and pile clothes onto it. And right now I have like a bunch of clothes sitting on it. And I just refuse to fold it for some reason. But I'll probably do it after this because today I was trying to find something in that pile. And I couldn't get to it. But like, I'm like, my like lazy things I do aren't like gross. They're just...
Like when I switch out my CDs in my room, I never put it back in the case. Like I'll just stack them all up and then I'm like, oh fuck, I don't want to scratch these. And then I have to sit there.
And put 30 CDs back in the case. One I just thought of is when like I'm watching TikToks with you on the couch, like instead of like leaning over and reaching over and showing you on my phone, I'll just text it to you. And like that's how we communicate via TikToks on the couch. Yeah, sometimes a lazy thing I do is I'll call you if I'm across the house. Like if I'm laying in bed and I want to say something to you, like I think I did it yesterday. I called you. I was like, want to go get food? And you were like, yeah.
I was like, okay, I'll meet you. Let's be ready in like 50 minutes. That's just the way it is. That's just the way your face looks. Oh, wow. Wait. That's just the way it is.
Are you, like, why are you saying, oh, wow? Did you see something on your phone or are you, like, listening to yourself? That's just the way it is. Ew, stop, dude. Your face is really fucking scaring me right now. That was actually so fucking good. I didn't know I could sing. Your pitch was perfect. Yeah, I didn't know I could actually fucking sing. We should make a movie about that. Like, we could just call it, like, Pitch Perfect or something. No, there's already a movie called Pitch Perfect. No, but...
Well, I'm trying to see what my steps are. I need to see your steps. I'm sorry. What are yours? It doesn't matter. I guess this is my monthly, like 10K. I average 3K a week. Your monthly is 10K? 3K, 3K, 4.5K. That was camping week.
Your monthly average is $10,000. $6,300. No, there's no way. Your monthly average, sorry to interrupt you, but your monthly average is not $10,000. Okay. You don't even live in a walking... This is my sixth month. This is actually hella good. He shakes his phone. He sits at his desk shaking his phone to track this. I'm like really, really confused as to how yours is that high. Mine's $5,300. For your monthly average? Yeah. Wait, what's happening? Because why is mine lower?
Guys, I'm like, it's seriously raw. You're lazy bones. No, I'm just like proficient and I actually walk fast and because y'all are so busy swinging your hips and trying to call the attention of other men, you guys are like swaying and like taking your time so you take more steps. That's true, actually. Or it's because... Never mind.
Never mind. I'll chill. I'll chill. I'll chill. I'll be chill, guys. I'll be chill. No, it is crazy. Living in LA, you can easily hit max 600 steps. Yeah, if you're not... If you're not actively like, okay, I have to do something. Because where the fuck are you going to walk here? Yeah, you walk to your car and then you walk...
from your car to the place and then you walk from the place to your car to the equinox sauna exactly directly in there i'm sitting here being like oh my god why are my steps so low as if i didn't spend three weeks sitting plateaued at a beach like and then i'm like guys i need to walk like i walk so much but if i can lay and sit i will sit and lay piggybacking off of that i just found out jane lynch and jamie lee curtis are different people
And it was from a picture. Wait, show me them side by side because this is actually about to freak me out. Because was Jane Lynch the one from Glee? And Jamie Lee Curtis? Jamie Lee Curtis is literally the nice version. She's like the good version. And Jane Lynch is the evil version. That's the... No, those are the same people. Stop playing. No, that's what I'm fucking saying. Different people. Whoa. Well, do you have any Psyop Corner for us or... Yeah. We'll tap into Psyop Corner.
Welcome to Drew's Psyop Corner. Girls be like, the vibes are so bad today, while the whole time they're just malnourished. That's literally us for the past three days. I know. Motherfuckers be talking about, man, I was born in the wrong generation. Bro, we got iPhones, Uber Eats, and Zaza. What the hell are you talking about? For real. Oh, this is a good one. If you die on your period, do they take your pad off?
That is so gross. Wait, yeah. When they're like embalming you, do they got to dig up in there and like get the rest of the period out or do they just let it rot? I don't know. Ew, dude. That's like really sad to think about also. This one is for Kai. Someone digging in my coochie for my blood. Stop saying words like Reddit and Discord around pretty people. It's actually so scary. I don't understand. Like you're scaring me. Why that's for me though. Like what? If you stank in the cold, you're a dangerous motherfucker. Okay.
It's always 333 this 444 that bitch I need my pussy 888. That's a good one. That one was submitted. That one's really good. That one was actually submitted from the email. Someone emailed it to me. Really? Yeah. Hold on actually let me look that up. This is Turkish origin. That is not even as high as I share.
Aisha. Aisha. This was submitted by Aisha via the email. I'm like laughing at you like I can't read any name on the planet. Yeah. But, yeah, those are them. That's all I got. Oh, we're doing media. I bounce on her a merd. What is it? What was it?
I don't remember what it was. I sent it to the group chat. Or yeah, you sent it to the group chat with Kai. She emerged on my insert to like calm. They ate with that. That's so good. We got to insert that video. You know what's so funny is like that means absolutely nothing. Like...
She emergent on my inter. Like that doesn't mean anything. And if you said it to a pilgrim or anybody at the beginning of the English language, even when like saying coming was a normal thing, they'd be like, OK, but what's the beginning of that? Say that to someone that lost their job in the 2008 recession and they would explode. They wouldn't have no idea what we're fucking talking about. But let's tap into some media, shall we? Media boots. Should we tap into the media boots?
um okay we went and saw come in or take it's take my hand it's literally take my hand talk to me no it's fucking take my hand no it's talk to me i i genuinely think you're trolling me right now it's fucking talk to me why the fuck would it be take my hand because they're holding a fucking hand the whole time oh my god but they say talk to me in the movie yeah your silence is deafening my queen
You fucking stupid bitch. Drew doesn't know the name of this fucking movie. I was wrong. The second he learned the name of this movie, he said it wrong every single time he mentioned it to us. He would say, take my hand, take the hand, talk to the hand, talking to the hand, taking the hand. Out of the movie theater, he called Samari. He's like, dude, I just saw Talk to Me and like yelled it in the theater. I just watched Take My Hand in the theater and everybody was like,
Like what? And then also while we were watching the previews, the trailer for... Dude, Drew's losing his mind. The trailer for Priscilla came on and he... Out loud, out loud. Out loud, it's fine. Looked at the screen and goes, wait, is Joaquin Phoenix playing the Joker right now?
Me and Josh were so confused. I thought that was Joaquin Phoenix playing Elvis, but I misspoke. But the take my hand, call me by your name shit, like that is literally all like that's a psyop in itself. Like it's when I first saw it, I think that's a Mandela effect because it's always been take my hand. Always. If it's not, then they fumbled and it should have been the fucking movie title because like.
Talk to me. Come on now. But that movie was fucking lit. Yeah, it's a really good movie. Like, beyond all of this. Like, that was, like, the first scary movie I've seen in a very long time that I was like, damn, this is lit. And it was made by fucking YouTubers. And they...
pre-recorded the prequel and sequel to that movie. So they recorded three movies at once. And that movie, I am so... Talk about confidence, huh? Yeah, exactly. And fun fact, that movie had the best opening weekend since Hereditary for A24, which is lit boots.
And it's a couple of YouTubers. I'm like, that shit's hella inspiring. Like, I'm going to do that. Like, every time I watch a scary movie, I'm like, oh, like, they should have did this. Or, like, why didn't they do that? Or they should have made it gory. Or they should have made it less gory. Like, why did they do all that? I'm going to write a fucking scary movie, and it's going to be a masterpiece, and it's going to be produced by Emergency Intercom.
And we're going to start a production house. That's a big statement. I'm stealing all of the emergency intercom money. You're not those. We have what, like $18 million saved up? Yeah. I can make an easy movie on that. Yeah. I mean, you don't need to use the whole $18 million. You can do it with like two. Oh, wait. All we have is $18 million? Yeah. I mean, you just said that. Why are you now shocked? No, I was saying, do we have that? Because...
I'm going to take that. Do we have? We don't have more than 18 million. I thought we had like 35. Dude, who do you think we are? No, we only have 18 million. We're an emergency intercom, babe. You're delusional. We make a million dollars an episode.
The thing is, there's somebody out there who's going to hear that and be like, I know they do. I know they do. Bring Me Back by Jeff Cowell. All I Have to Do is Dream by the Everly Brothers. On Earth by the Sundays. Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies. By Fiona Apple. And I Think of You by Rodriguez, which I think I said last week. I'm about to shoot poop out of my butt. Mr. Beast is a Freemason. Wait, you need to screenshot your phone.
I came back home the other day and I was showing Drew like a video I took. And then he was like, oh, let me show you this thing I took. And his photos on his iPhone were crazy. It was only screenshots of like Illuminati stuff. And like there was no pictures of humans we knew or himself. Like it literally looked insane. It's pictures of a zoo. There's like two videos that started with like just like a brown screen. Like he was moving it around the house. Like it was really weird.
Dude, this is so sad. That's deeply sad. It's Pokemon Go screenshots. It's my cart for pandemic prep in the top there. And it's even worse the further you scroll up. There's a picture of me. And there's a picture of you. And you can't show that picture of me. Oh, sis, it's getting showed. Wait, what's the picture of me? You know.
the one that i left you i fucking hate you drew saved that picture of me to his phone like 18 times okay i sent you a second one can you blur out the red picture in the second one yeah okay um but yeah that's the other part of my camera roll whoa
And it's the top one in the middle. That's the best picture of all time. I swear to God, like, if you do unfortunately die before me, like, I'm not going to kill you or anything. It's not going to be, like, a problem. I'm using that as your obituary photo. I'll beat your fucking ass. Girl, I'll haunt you. All right. Blood said, do you riz me? I told her only in Ohio. I only love my get in my big chungus. I'm sorry. I only love my get in my chungus. I'm sorry.
Blood say, do you raise me? I told her only in Ohio. I only love my guy in my big chungus. I'm sorry. We're really like, Drew, you have been scaring me recently. Just a glimpse into my dark reality, a full stare into my twisted personality would make a person go simply insane. I love that. I got tagged in that so many times. You're so weird, man.
Respect the player, not the game. All right. I need to poop, so I'm going to go. I'll give you one song before we go. One song. And it's a BBP plug. When can I see you again? All right. Bye. Bingo. Bingo.