Kink shame episode
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Come here. Ew. Come here. Ew, your long fucking nails. We're going to scratch the insides. Come here. You freak ass hoe.

Hi, guys. Welcome back to Emergency Income. Yeah, welcome back. Welcome back. Hey. Hey. Guys, we're trying to get into it. We're not really feeling it today. Yeah, I feel very lethargic and crazy. If anybody knows me, you know that waking up early is a miracle for me. It is a godsend. It's not my usual. And this morning, I woke up.

eyes bursted open at 8 52 a.m and i looked down and no don't clap you're good it's not good because it's not good i woke up from a dream where me and drew were witnessing a category come here

I literally hate it. Like, I feel like last night there was a moth attacking my phone in the middle of the night. And that is giving me the same feeling where I'm like, I have to like guide it away and then just like catch it. I woke up from a dream where me and Drew were witnessing a category four tornado in the middle of bumfuck. EF4. Oh, sorry. I was thinking hurricane. Yeah.

You're so annoying. You need to turn that off. You're freaking me out. Like, why do you just have that on for fun? It unironically feels good to me. Like, when I put it on my, like, these two muscles, it, like, feels so good. Like, it's almost like a massage. Yeah. Okay, and I also want to try putting it on my wrist, but I'm scared that it's going to, like... Okay, now it's starting to hurt, actually. Um...

I woke up from that dream and I looked at the time and I thought to myself, it is early enough. I can risk going back to sleep because I need to get back to that dream. And I wanted to go back to seeing the tornado so bad that I went back to the dream and I actually successfully got back into the dream. But the weird part is it was like that dream kept going without me. So like when I left, I came back and things had kept happening.

happening while I was awake and I didn't have time to put on an alarm so I woke up at 11 and said and it was really sad dreams I also woke up and I wake up every day with the gnarliest neck pains because I don't know how to sleep correctly and I by miracle not only woke up early woke up with no neck pain felt fully rested but wanted to get back to that dream so I fucked it up and then I woke up and my neck was all twisted up and my fucking shoulders hurt now dude I've been waking up at like the ripe

time of 6 a.m like writhing around in my bed and i cannot get back to sleep until like i stand up and then for some reason after i stand up i can lay back down and go back to sleep but like literally like writhing around in bed because you like stand up and you almost faint every time oh my god

That was another thing. Sorry I keep talking about my fucking dreams. But the night I was sitting in your bed and we were talking about, like, the medication thing, I had also seen that, like, a side effect was getting really dizzy and nauseous. And then so as I was going to bed, I was knocking on... Every time I knocked out, my body was, like...

putting myself in this dream scenario where like I was standing around in random places in the house around you and like other friends and I kept like I was standing and then I would get really dizzy and like know I was gonna faint and then like my body it felt so real and scary because what was happening is I was just falling asleep and my body was fully going like knocking out

but in the dream it felt real like I was just standing around and like fainting and then I kept waking up and I woke up like four different times while I was falling asleep and I kept begging you guys and being like please please please please help me like I keep fainting I keep fainting like I like I've never fainted before like I always said I wanted this but I'm like scared now I don't want to faint and you guys were laughing at me because you were like girl you're so annoying like go lay down and I was just like no seriously and it

was because like as I was fainting in the dream, I kept knowing I was going to like knock out and faint. So I would lay on the floor and then pass out. But then when I passed out, I would wake back up in real life and then get back in the dream. And then I was stuck in this cycle for like 20 minutes before falling asleep. And then I was really scared because I thought I was dying. And I was like, I, when I woke up the last time I was like,

My heart might be failing right now and nobody will know and my dream is trying to tell me to go to the hospital, but I'm just going to go to sleep. And then I knocked on the door and I woke up and I was fine, actually. Do you mind if I get a little bit more relaxed for this episode? Yes, of course. Like, just lock in. I mean, you yawn, you get on your phone, you lay around. Every time I get on my phone, I'm doing, we established this in the last episode, I'm actually writing notes. Looking at pornography is not writing notes. You need pen and paper for now on. No more technology. Pen and paper. A quill.

Dude, I got an app like yours, Drew, where it shuts down all the social media, the good apps. But there's this thing I have to scan on my refrigerator to unlock them.

-Oh, really? -That's a fucking vibe. -Yes, it's called a brick and it says you're bricked up. I'm not even joking. -Damn. -I'm currently bricked up. -Wait, did you have to print out the QR code? -No, they send you this little gray box and you put it on your fridge. -How much is it? -It's 40 bucks. It's worth it because I'm so productive. -Bitches got no control. -I could code that shit for you. -It is really dystopian though because every time I want to check Instagram, I have to stand in front of my fridge.

It's like a reward system for your like eight brain, like the banana smoothie and those like trials where you're like, yeah. And the worst part is all of the, all the cookies and candy are in there. So I'm also tempted with that. You keep your cookies and candy in the fridge. You fucking monster. Have you ever had a frozen Sour Patch Kid? I don't like Sour Patch Kids. Those are disgusting. I have these true fruit things that are like frozen grapes covered in sour powder. And it's the greatest thing I've ever had in my life.

I still have like never fully digested one. Like for something about them feels like unnatural. They are extremely unnatural. It's like how post COVID, we don't talk about one of the biggest consequences we face, which is like Cheetos being crushed up and put onto everything. Like that is a consequence of COVID. That would have never happened if we weren't locked in the fucking house. That's a consequence of social media. Like that's a consequence of food trucks. Like it is insane. No, that shit.

It was exciting and good. That stuff's really good. I blacked out one time eating those. Yeah. When I came here. Oh, yeah. Kai literally was, like, dieting like crazy. Yeah, Kai was in ketosis. And he came over and gorged, like, a whole bag to himself and, like, left, like, dizzy and filled, like, stuffed. Oh, are we going to talk about what we were watching? Yeah, I was about to bring that up. So...

The other night, Andy and I were just like chilling on the couch and we all know like what a feeder kink is. Like we've been privy to it for a while. It's been thrusted into the mainstream with certain TikTokers and da-da-da-da-da. But some backstory like feeder kinks are like people that...

um like making other people eat a bunch of food and get big bellies um there's the feeder and there's the feedie the feeder likes to feed them the feedie likes to get big um for the person and like a lot of it is like stuffing food down people's throats like crazy fucking vibes y'all one of the videos we found was literally these two girls one of them that's the one i was referencing and she

A funnel. A beer funnel. A funnel down in this girl's mouth and poured like a chocolate smoothie in her mouth. It was crazy. It was like the craziest thing. Also, while we were doing this, we do this often where we go down these rabbit holes of kinks that are like...

No one's like naked. Leather fart kings. There's a bunch of like leather pantsed women farting playlists on YouTube. If you ever just want to tap the fuck in, like I'm sure we've showed Kai before. Like it's a great pastime. You showed me? You forced me to watch that. Yeah, it's either Beyonce music videos or...

Leather pants fart kink. Like it's some odd like abstract kink that gets passed on YouTube regulations, which is actually fucking ridiculous because the fact that we get like partially demonetized for some of the shit we say when I can get on my fucking Apple TV and watch a girl like roll around and fart

and like shake her ass and like moan her for now. There's one that's so good. She like starts twerking out. Like we have like a solid five that we always revisit. And my favorite one is when she's like on all fours on the bed, like twerking the fart out. It's so good. But you know what I was thinking when we were watching that? It's because like we watch it

One, because we are making fun of it. Sorry. To each their own, but it's public. I'm kink shaming. I'm kink shaming. It's crazy. I'm kink shaming. I don't give a fuck. But part of it is us watching and really trying hard to understand. Psychoanalyze. What about this? Could I ever be in a place where I'm like, oh, that's hot. We're really watching it. And we went so far down this rabbit hole that I was like, this is pushing it. We might as well be watching stupid.

We were watching feeder porn together and enjoying it. No, the craziest part is we were doing all of this on the Apple TV. Not only that, but on Josh's YouTube account. So if you go to Josh's watch history on his YouTube account, it's like feeder kink, like 70 videos of it because we just went down the playlist and we're like, oh my God, we have- It started with Mikado Avocado.

Yeah, it started with Nikocado Avocado. We'll get into that in a second because we have theories. Us never talking about pop culture things, but we're like Nikocado Avocado though? Theories, theories. So then, Kyle, you'll enjoy this one. The obvious graduation from Feeder Kinks is...

Vore so I put any on the vore and there are crazy and kai loves vore like that's My thing everyone knows that's guys thing is for So I put any on to vore and like we went down like the darkest rabbit hole

ever in the videos on there on YouTube like some child was probably just looking up like Elsa and Anna like compilation videos and like ended up on that and ended up on like Elsa being eaten by Anna and like literally just like her feet sticking out of their mouth because they love they're obsessed with the

feet is hanging out they love it literally there has to be a huge connection to vor and like the foot community like there has bubbly guts like the sounds and like oh the squirting sounds it did get really dark because then we started finding videos of just like random women who these freak leaks were taking and then adding gurgling sounds over and it'd be a girl just like dancing and having fun on tiktok but they're adding like

like the gut sound like that is fucking insane well then we're doing this we're watching those videos um and that was like actually so loud randomly no no i literally don't care i forgot what i was gonna say it like fucking hypnotized me out of it like i was entranced by the vore conversations um but no we like post those videos oh wait were you gonna talk about the the like big accounts we found

no, but we should talk about that. So like we started like we, I mean, y'all, we did this for like an hour straight, at least an hour straight. And I started like deep diving. Cause like on a lot of these videos, like it would be like,

insert name as like a water stamp. I'm not giving free promo. Yeah, like a watermark for like the person who created it. And there was this one that literally like this person created like 70 of the most popular Vore kink videos on YouTube in this playlist. So I look him up and I realized he has a Patreon girl like over almost 1,800 or was it 1,500 or 1,800? It was like 1,500. Almost 1,500 patrons subscribed for...

for vore and i was like oh my god they walk among us like we've literally like actually probably met people that are into this and like i really need to know like i'm i'm king shaming a little bit but like i need to know like if there's anybody that watches y'all would lie y'all would literally just lie like yeah i'm into that just to say you're into it but like i really want to know like

What you look like. It just comes from like, okay, like to King Shame is one thing. Like it's easy to King Shame, but this one, it feels so fucking like. It's like cannibalism. It's like cannibalism.

It literally is. Oh, this is what I was going to say. They get like the girls, like they eat the girls and their bellies get like nice and big and stuffed. And then like the person that they ate is like trying to punch out. And that's a big thing for them is like trying to break out of the belly. And then like in a split second, they like digest the person and their boobs and butts get bigger. Like it's like the...

The person goes to their boobs and butts. All of the nutrients just fills their boobs and butts. And then it's always the jiggliest, hugest boobs you've ever seen. It is so insane. And then we were trying to find it for men. We were like, oh. All of the videos we were finding it. Also, mind you, all of these are fucking animated. Duh. But all of them are like...

All of them are animated, duh. And then we were like, okay, we need to see if we can find this for men. And we couldn't, but we did find these accounts of these dudes literally just chugging beer together and rubbing each other's stomachs. And we were cracking up because we were like, dude, first of all, all of the videos are 20 to 30 seconds. And then it's like, watch the extended version on OF. And me and Drew are just literally dying laughing because one of them went to go eat a burger together and make out with the burger between them.

Oh, dude, like food, like making out like that shit like gross. It's so gross. But yeah, we did that for like an hour. Wait, should I show them this? Yes. I've been using them. I know. Literally. That's all you get. That's all you get. That's literally all you get. I love the Jermoges. Jermogy coming soon, y'all.

I literally have it on my phone and I keep texting it. At the end of Orion's birthday text, I sent one. That's the best one. That's my favorite one. Guys, Drumogy is in beta testing right now.

It may never see the light of day. I don't know. If y'all want it bad enough, I may release it, but I don't think y'all care. You just want people to beg for it? I don't think anybody cares, honestly. I have a bone to pick with people who sit on their fucking phone. Boner pick. You have a boner. You have a boner to pick out of your wedgie. Kai threatened to give me a wedgie today. Anya, come back. Please come back. Please come back, Anya. It's not the same without you.

It's actually not even close to the same. It's completely different. The whole dynamic changes. Okay.

I don't fuck with people who do parallel play on your fucking iPhones with me and you laugh and you don't go to show me what the fuck you laughed at and you wait for me to be like, what? What? What? I hate, I hate asking what. It dehumanizes me. Like, it literally makes me ask what? I've done that before. I've done that before. Not, like, intentionally, but after the fact, I'm like, why didn't I just show? Like, I could have just shown. But I feel like that's a universal, like, experience. No, I am a sharer. Like, being the person to be like, what?

I'm a sharer of my laughter. If I laugh at something out loud on my phone, I immediately run to go show somebody because I'm like, this laughter must be shared. But that's just me. I'm just empathetic. And I'm like, I have that in my DNA. Also, this lighting on is really freaking me out. Like I just realized it and it's freaking me out. Do you want me to turn it off? Yeah. I like the control of it all. Like I like, I like, uh, now it's weird. I like people begging me for more. Like they want, they want to see. You've worn this outfit for three days in a row.

And it's been 100 degrees every day, so I know his ass stings, bro. I can't even get on you, though. I wore the same outfit for like four days, but I washed it because I have some self-respect, but... I've been wearing these shorts for two weeks. Ew, I know. They have like a layer of mildew, like just on them. They...

I'm not going to lie. I wear them and I get itchy. I feel like I have to wash them because there's like... Ew, Kai. I'm just kidding about that last part. No, that sounded too real. But that's kind of masculine to wear the same thing over and over again. No, that's like the worst part about men. Not really care. But isn't it cool when guys don't care and they smell shit? Men's hygiene is actually so fucking repulsive. Like having to...

tell a man to shower before touching you is like the craziest experience a woman ever has to endure and that's like a common experience like most women have experienced at least once and then having to get in the back and forth of like yeah you know like i don't want you to fuck up my ph so can you please just do it it's like oh my god well no woman has ever had to have that conversation with me well you've had sex maybe three times in your life so i'm sure you were really prepared for it yes i was prepared for all four times and i had my male douche on the ready yeah

Sorry. Drew, I'm scared. I'm with Kai too long. You wanted me to fucking... Oh, now this outfit isn't enough. This is too much now. Where the... Did you get... You just got back from Burning Man. Where did you get these tights? I've had them forever. I love them.

what okay so every fucking outfit i put on is a fucking problem with y'all like you know that this one's ridiculous what is good this one is eating like and y'all know it well i'm i'm trend forecasting i think i'm gonna like be ahead of the bring those back yeah like the girls that listen to like crystal castles like snow strippers are gonna be wearing these yeah i actually see that oh there's a huge galaxy on your left butt cheek why are you looking at my ass

I don't know. I should reevaluate. Yeah, I'm calling HR, which again, to remind you is me. Where did you get these? That's all I can think about. Are they off Amazon? When? Like three weeks ago. I've been meaning to wear them as a bit, but like I always forget. And then we did like the hotel room episode and then we had other bits planned. Wow. They're like actually kind of amazing me.

I just don't feel like they should be on, like this image should be. I feel like these are illegal for some reason. I don't know why. It feels like for some reason they have lead in them. Like they just. Yeah, they do literally. You know how you see old like plates and you're like, I just know that has lead in it. That's how I feel about stuff like this. They literally. Because this kind of vibrant pattern shouldn't be able to be overlaid onto clothing. Hey guys, we want to take a break to thank today's sponsors, MeUndie.

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No one cares. No one gives a fuck. Like literally no one gives a fuck. I was merging onto the fucking highway. I'm just going to still say it because y'all are being fucking mean and I don't care. Like I'm used to it. I'm used to men being mean. I care actually. I care. Drew does not speak for both men. The thing is there's no winning with me because if both of y'all did the bit you did where you're like, oh my God, I want to protect women, that would piss me off too. Like there's no winning. I just want y'all to like be normal. But

I was merging onto the fucking highway last night and I didn't put my blinker on. Girls driving, am I right? That's gonna get clipped and we're cooked. It's actually cooked for us. I'm over. I'm so over. Doing that in those funky ass tights is also crazy. No, I'm dead serious. Girls driving!

I'm wearing these like not as a fucking thing. I'm wearing these like- Dude, also your socks being under them is what's making it worse to me. Is it supposed to be over? Like when you wear tights, you're supposed to put your socks over your fucking tights. Like it's so weird that they're just like under there. What if I wore them like this? Oh, your capris? Oh, I guess as a capri- You know what's crazy? As a capri, it's not too bad.

Like as a Capri, I can almost get... I have to sit a certain way, by the way, guys. So that your fucking wiener... Giant penis. Giant. Anyways, I wanted to tell you about this last night, but I was like, let me say this for the fucking podcast. Oh, is this where you brought it up?

I like was quickly turning because it was a stupid fucking section in L.A. that like all the highways here suck balls because they're like the first like experiments in America of highways. So all of the entryways suck balls. I hit my blinker for the first turn. Was it the one next to, what's that fucking dumpling spot we got? No, no, no. It's not like in Highland Park. This one is like you turn off of like Vermont or something. It's like. How are you in Vermont but in L.A.?

Kai, did I eat? Yeah, you ate that. Ow, ow, ow. Ow.

Sorry, keep going. Whatever. I had to do a quick double turn to get onto the fucking highway. And there was this like funky ass fucking car that was going to turn too. And we were both turning at the same time. There was a car that was on my ass. And I was like, fuck, dude, I can't hit my brakes and let this guy go. Also, this guy was moving hella slow because I think he saw my car start to turn. So I was like, oh, he's going to give me the right of way. So then I start to turn and then he speeds up. And I was like, oh,

now we're fucking fighting. So bitch, I sped up and I just like cut in front. And mind you, this was not on purpose. It was a common miscommunication. I was like, oh, that's so embarrassing. But I just had this sinking feeling. I was like, the motherfucker who I just cut off, I can tell is crazy. Oh,

It was a car make and model and the foggy ass headlights growing up in Miami. I see that car. They're yellowing. Yeah, they're yellowing. I was like, I see that car. I run. So I already know. Wait, you have to say which car because it's everybody like it's a Nissan Altima. No, no, no, no. It's not Nissan Altima. This one feels very Miami. Mind you, my family drives this car. So maybe like I have like a bias against this because like someone in my family has this car and they are awful driver. Sorry. Um,

It's like an old Chevy Escalade, but it was from 2008 or something. Oh, like the big one. Yeah, and it reminded me of this one family member I have where they keep this car very clean, but they never change the headlights. And I was like, I already know your vibe. I just have a feeling. I was like, I have a feeling the motherfucker behind me is crazy. So literally before he even got a chance to do what he did, and I knew he was going to do this because he just gave me ooky spooky vibes. I was driving on the highway and literally...

I see him speeding around to get next to me and I started like before I even saw that I was already putting my seat back so I literally was like I don't want him to see

to see me. I was genuinely convinced he was going to shoot me through my fucking windshield. Bro, that's my biggest fucking fear ever. So I literally put my seat down and I was on the highway like this so if you looked in the mirror you couldn't see anybody who was driving. He was probably so confused. And he literally... But he's fucking crazy. He stood... Mind you, we're on the fucking highway. He has slowed down. I'm going like the normal speed which nobody does in LA so...

I think the speed limit on that highway is like 55 miles per hour. I'm doing 55. Everybody else does fucking 70. So I am technically going way too slow to be on the highway. And he is speeding around the other cars, drives up next to me and stays next to me for a solid minute. And I was literally just like, I'm not going to look. I was like, I'm literally just not going to look. And he stayed next to me for so long. And I was like, I feel like

if I lifted up my head right now, he would shoot me. Like I literally, I just like had this gut feeling and then he just like honked and sped off and then slowed down again. And I was like, bitch, and I just got off, got off the highway because I was like, you're not going to kill me right now. Like I'm not getting killed by your fucking funky ass. What lesson did we learn? Nothing. I didn't learn anything. I learned people are fucking crazy and you need a fucking therapist if something's fucking wrong with you. Actually, you don't need a therapist to beat your knees broken.

No, literally. Road rage is like the most terrifying thing ever. And any time... Enya is a very aggressive driver. She is not passive at all. She does... She owns the fucking road. It's her road and I respect it. Whatever. But every time we're in that goddamn car, I literally have like vivid like...

Like almost like that's so Raven-esque like visions of like the people that you cut off or like get in front of or whip around or like honk out or whatever. Like them like pulling up and shooting me in the fucking head. Okay, to be fair, it makes it seem like I'm a bad driver. I'm a very good driver, guys. Never gotten into any car crashes. Why does your car have a dent? A valet driver fucked my fucking car up. I have a bone to pick with this.

valet and we're gonna have to bleep that because I go there often enough that I don't want to get in trouble but I think they fucked my fucking car up they did I was dropping off

a friend at the airport and i got out it was either that or the jams somebody my car up and i look outside and there's a dent on my passenger door and i'm like that's funny because if it was i who did it i would have documented it and laughed about it even but i didn't do that so who the did that and it really made me actually sad i was like sick to my stomach when i saw that because there's one thing for me to my car up but to get it i like i felt so violated and i was like oh my god they need to like

do something with cars. I hate that my car can't tell me what happened to her. Who did this to you? She can't just be like, I was hit today. She can't be like, I was hurt. Someone hurt me. My car can. Your car could blow up. Can we manifest this, guys? I think if we literally all get together and manifest my car exploding with me inside, but I don't die. I just lose my arm or something. Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?

Leg. Leg. Leg as well. Yeah. I've got three of them. I can spare one. Oh, because you're a huge fucking dick. Ew, I hate the D word. Sorry. The D word and the V word. We also went to the Claro concert, which was iconic. There was an interaction we had before the concert that literally sent me into a psychosis until I fell asleep and woke up the next day. Yeah.

and you needed a puff bar before the concert. Oh, yeah. Only I needed a puff bar. It was all on me. Yeah. It literally was. Yeah. Okay. It literally was. I don't know why we're looking at each other. It literally was you. Okay. Right, right. Right, right. Well, we pull up to this vape shop and we...

are going inside and Inya gets cat called by a young teenager and Inya's like, thank you. Like, oh my God. Like, thank you so much. Okay, that was not my reaction. It literally was and I was genuinely so shocked. You were like, oh, thank you. Okay, I will say I was really nice and when young guys who are

were around like 1920 because i felt like he was being like it felt like he was genuinely shocked by my beauty and when i feel that i'm like oh you're actually being nice when i mean we always say is when like like some people do in a really creepy way where they're like like it always starts with like oh my god like it's always like this weird like back of the throat cat call where i'm like

You're the killer. You're going to kill me. But so I'm like, yo, chill, chill, chill, chill. Like very nonchalantly, I'm like, chill. Like you got to chill, bro. And I took up for my queen. Like I literally like protected her and like it was a vibe, right? Like I like had your back. I was a bit shocked. I had your back. When I heard you go like, I will say like,

I accepted the interaction, but he was a very heightened person. So that adds on to it. Like, I feel like girls know how to navigate those things of like, I was just like, oh, thank you so much. Like, cause he was being nice. Cause he did, he wasn't like, you're sexy. He was like, oh my God, you're gorgeous. Or he said, he said like, you're beautiful. So I was like, okay, I can take that compliment. That's a nicer compliment than being like,

you're hot, fuck, like when it's that, I'm like, oh my God, like please leave me alone. But he, as they were driving away, he put down his window and kept talking. And then that's when Drew was like, chill, chill, chill. - And then, so we like go inside and that interaction was like enough to like put me on edge. 'Cause I was like, oh my God, like what if like he like comes inside and beats the shit out of me. And like, I have to like live with that. And I actually have to fight for my girls honor, like period, my like queen. - In those pants.

um so uh they're still backing out and like they just stop after that and they're just like waiting there and I'm like oh my god like this is it like I didn't realize they had stopped yes they stopped fully and I was like oh my god and Drew was like still like kind of jarred and I was like oh because I wasn't like I wasn't able to like hear any conversations you were like saying at me like I felt bad because I like literally couldn't respond because I was literally like okay like

what am I gonna have to do like it like da da da da da like if this actually goes down and I start like spiraling like this like fight is gonna happen and like I'm such a fucking pussy like I'm a little bitch like I can't fight like look at my fucking tiny little my baby little tiny little tiny little wrist like they're so small and petite like do you think these could throw punches like no like let me see I'm so small oh oh yeah they can they can throw punch what let me see

No, they can't. Yeah, you're good. Oh, my fucking God. We were sitting in bed and we were like, I was like the most fucked up thing. E.D. Twitter and all these things like guys, literally that shit makes no sense. Stop fucking watching with these like the weird like

I don't know if you ever saw for girls, like the headphone trend of like putting your headphone over your waist. And I still, I don't understand what the point of it was. Like, I don't understand at what point is it like, oh my God, you're so skinny. Like, cause it's just, you're putting fucking headphones on your stomach. Like, I don't understand. And it's like that trend. And then the wrist touching trend of girls being like, my wrist.

Like, girl, no, you were very frail. And if you pulled open a steel door, your fucking hand would be attached to the door. It would break off. But whatever. But we were sitting in bed and I was like, imagine how fucked up it would be if like some evil motherfucker went up to girls who she was meeting. She was like, oh, my God. And like went to grab their hand and would like go like this. Like, oh, never mind. Never mind. Oh, my God. Wow. Oh, fuck. You're huge. Yeah.

You're ginormous. That's literally what watching my TikTok timeline feels like of like people always having a comment today where I'm like,

I've never looked at myself like that. Wow. Okay. So like I see them stopped and like Inya and I are like trying to have a conversation, but I literally cannot engage because I'm literally like, okay, like what I'm going to do, like if something goes down, like I'm going to jump over the counter and grab a fucking galaxy gas container and beat the shit out of this guy with a galaxy gas container because my fucking baby little hands, like they're not throwing punches. Like this is me fighting. And these...

I'm imagining this interaction happening in this outfit. - Yeah, it would be so fried for me. But anyways, he stopped there and I'm still thinking and he was like telling me a story and I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm literally not listening. I'm like actually terrified right now. And then this, the fucking kid, or I keep calling him a kid. He was like a grown ass man. - Yeah, he had to have been like 21. - Yeah, he like runs out of the car and is like really sketchy in the store. And I'm like, oh my God, like I'm actually-- - Yeah, he was definitely on something 'cause he comes and he's like, yo, do you still have my top open?

"Oh, I need a lighter. I forgot a lighter." And is like kind of like bouncing around. - Like tweaking out. - And me and Drew are now like... - Oh my God, this is actually happening. Like I'm actually gonna have to beat this guy up to defend my queen's honor. - And he really showed you 'cause he skipped you in line. - I know, he fucking bodied me. He literally mogged all over me 'cause Enya like bought her vape and I was like about to buy a pack of chips.

Hello. Um, and yeah, a pack of chips. You're buying your candy that would knock you out later that night. Exactly. Exactly. Um, and the guy like cuts in front of me and like does this whole interaction. I'm like, honestly, I'm going to let him do this shit because like, I'm not going to check him twice. Cause two strikes, I'm out. Like he's going to fucking kill me. Um, and then he just was super sketchy and weird and ran out of the store. But that, um,

interaction like actually put me into fight or flight for the rest of the night like I like was really trying fucking very hard it made us both feel really weird because I already had like a really anxious driven day and on the way to the vape shop I was already tweaking and like feeling very overwhelmed then we had that happen and like me and Drew have this bad habit of like if one of us is feeling one way we absorb the other person's like energy and then we both become like this synthesis of like

awful energy oh my god then i did something so embarrassed that i like embarrassing that i can't say like in front of the venue i can't wait what no nothing never mind i like did something that was so embarrassing and rain was there to witness it the gum no not the gum thing

No, it's nothing. It's nothing. It doesn't matter. It just embarrassed me. I think you know how hard... I know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about. Girl, I was like, is she fucking okay? No, yeah. It was a really odd scenario, but then we saw the concert and the concert was fucking awesome. It was a movie. Yeah.

That was a good button to try to resolve that feeling, but I still felt crazy all fucking night, and I felt so scared. I literally felt scared, and then I saw a video of me running, and I was like, I literally looked scared. It is such a good video. She rolls her eyes at either me or Rain, and then darts off up the stairs, and it's literally the funniest video I've ever seen. You got to watch it frame by frame.

to get the full effect. But yeah, that was our night and it was really scary and I'm scared. But the concert was fucking lit. Like Clara went crazy. I mean, by the time this is out, we'll know if I went again. D-Strikes, you're out!

I want to talk about something that I've just been thinking about for a couple weeks and I've been working through mentally. And it is Drew's obsession that he alluded to earlier of control and how he is constantly manipulating me and fucking up my life. Yes. And has such an omnipresent level of this control that I actually can't escape from it. Yes. Because when I was flying home from...

Visiting my parents. I was flying out of a very small rural airport. You don't have to bring this up. I do have to bring this up because people need to know. No, people don't need to know this aspect of our life. Like people don't really like people don't need to know this. I'm going to bring it up because people do need to know. And what the fuck are y'all talking about? Okay, well, I'm just literally going to edit it out. No, you're not because I control the file. Whatever. Fucking say it. Whatever.

I was getting on a plane, a very small plane that like there were maybe like 30 people on and I get a text. I get a text as I am walking down the hallway. Like, you know, you're like walking down between the seats to get to your seat. It's actually the aisle, not the hallway. The aisle. I am so sorry.

Like, embarrassing. There's not a hallway in the plane. Like, a hallway. I get a text of me from an unknown number, and it's a photo of me from 10 seconds prior. Wait, an unknown number? Yes. And actually, we're going to cut for one second because I'm going to pull it up. I have to cut this shit fucking out now. Like, I'm dead serious because if this shit gets out, like, it'll actually be, like, a fucking thing. Dude, I have to... Why are you so afraid? ...highline with Drew's fucking butt right now. Don't be afraid. Just...

It's gonna come out at some point. If you say this, I'll slap the shit out of you. Again. Ew, Drew, you look really fucked up. Well, let's keep in mind, Kai has suffered from depression for a long time, so if he suddenly dies, nothing to do with us. Exactly. We tried to help him. You guys are very lucky that that's the case. Okay, I'm walking down the fucking aisle of the plane, and I get a text from...

I'm going to insert it here because it's very fucking scary and chilling. And it says, I'm just proud of you. I want you to know that. And it's from a number that is actually an unknown number, but it's from the area code where I was born and my hometown. Okay. Like that's not that. I think that that's like a local friend. Yeah. Like a high school friend. I don't know the number. Okay. So I asked questions. I say, who are you? Tell me now. He says, can you feel me? I can feel.

Sorry, I'm like thinking back on this and I'm so scared. Oh my God. Wait, were you actually scared? I was a little bit freaked out because I only got like three hours of sleep before, but he said, I can feel you. And then I said, reveal yourself. And then he sent me this photo.

Which was really fucking scary and disabled. -Okay. -Wait, did you see that and could you recognize who it was or were you still-- -No, I couldn't. -I don't know why this is funny because this has-- I don't know why this involves me. -Yes, this has nothing to do with Drew. That's not Drew. -Well, that will be revealed in a moment. -I thought of that. -Then I started asking more questions and they said, "Just wish we could have met under different circumstances. I think you would have liked me." Then started sending me weird photos of prosthetics.

Okay. Facial reconstruction surgery. And then he said, goodbye, Kai guy, with like a sad emoji. And then for the rest of the flight, I was in hell emotionally. Wait, did you actually never realize through the flight who it was? No, because I was afraid to turn around. Okay.

up as I fully know about this like and the second it started Drew showed me and I was like dude that is so fucking funny I was genuinely like if I turn around I'm gonna make eye contact with the killer I guess that is kind of terrifying stop at least it wasn't this guy girl that's me as Walter White bro like okay like you have to you have to understand that I give in that photo like I'm giving body body is T you know

- This picture. Oh my God, why does it look like it's like-- - Why are we laughing? It looks good. - It looks like eerie. Also, why does your nipple hair do that on that nipple? It's like a target. - I don't know. - Okay, so did you ever find out who it was? - Yes, I found out who it was. Long story short, I got out of the airport and it was Casey. And I walked up to him and he like, he was just staring straight ahead and I was like, "It was you."

it was you all along. And then we like talked about it and he was like, yeah, uh, Drew put me up to this. Drew is constantly trying to like fuck with you. Um, well you have to read our text messages. Oh yeah. Our text. I was texting you and you said, I can't find it, but something along the lines of, I have eyes everywhere. I was like, I'm omnipresent. Like just know everywhere you go. I go like I follow. Um,

and just you can't get anything by on me. I know everything that you do, every movement you make. I'm always being watched by Daddy, and that's crazy. Or by Drew, sorry. No, I love control. I love control. Even said consciously, I love control. Said consciously. Said consciously, it's all about perspective. Hey, y'all. We wanted to take a quick break to thank one of our sponsors today, Shopify. Hey!

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Vaguely knew or like was like a mutual friend or anything me and Flava Flav. Like we go way back. Oh, yeah We were on the same flight together I forgot I don't know if I brought this up But there's like a new tick that just dropped that causes meat allergies So like if you eat meat you get allergic to it

You're still on that shit, bro. Like, shut up. Bringing up the meat tick? Like, you're not gay. Look at your fit. Exactly. I'm not gay. So you don't need the meat tick. So why do you bring up the meat tick?

I just didn't know I brought it up before. Damn. You did because you humiliated me publicly because you brought it up and I was like, oh, like I didn't do the bit with you and I will never do the bit with you. I just want that picture of you on a fucking billboard. I literally if I could get it up. I would see this man. Yeah. If I could get it up there, I would hold on. Let me go grab my phone. Oh, my God. Yeah. Let's just take a little break. Let's center ourselves. Yeah.

I'm trying so hard to just, you know, help the vibes of the show. You're scaring me.

Okay, I'm back. Well, I think Google needs to stop doing those fucking drawn banners. They are so fucking tired. Like when I go to Google something and it's like, it's a s'mores. Like it's Google the word, but it's a s'mores cake. Like literally you're so tired. Do you know what I mean? When Google like will be celebrating something? Oh, at the very top. Yes. And it does like a funky, like, okay. Like what does this have to do with anything? It's the day the s'mores was invented. It's National S'mores Day.

Thursday at Google. Fuck you, bitch. It reminds me of like when apps will be like, like Duolingo. I had to delete it off my fucking phone because it like, actually, I don't even think I deleted it yet. I saved it for this. It made the bird sick. And I was the idiot. It was like, why is the Duolingo bird sick on my phone? Like, fuck you.

You, it's so tired. Stop fucking changing things. You're so tired. Like, I hate you. I hate you. I don't want to see it anymore. That's it. Oh, fuck. Email rage. I didn't, yeah. Do you listen to Fiona Apple? No, no, no, no, no. Beat the shit out of them. Oh my God, Enya, that's too much.

But you had the banners, guys. Enough with the banners. Enough, enough, enough. Well, getting off your phone, I realize how we all are always like, oh, like, I wish I could go back. I wish I go back in time. Just get off your phone. Did you see that TikTok that it was? Life feels like 2005 when you get off your phone.

- I don't think it does. 'Cause I'd be seeing those Waymo cars and I'm like, this is not 2005. - I feel the same way. As soon as I see like a pile of lime scooters that are like on fire, I'm like, no, it's 2024. - Okay, well we talked about it in the beginning of the podcast, but we didn't really talk about it. Nikocado Avocado.

You were serving tea spill sessions. Guys, I'm scared. I'm really scared. Okay, so I thought we were all under the impression that it was a bit, right? I thought that was the general consensus. Obviously, the lengths and extent he went to to...

or like live inside of the bit was really jarring. And like, honestly, fucking, I respect the shit out of his commitment to it all because like, that's like even better. Like that's taking it even further than someone like even Andy Kaufman or something like that. Like that whole,

Whole shit was crazy But like I've been seeing like what if like he record pre-recorded all of these videos For the last two years and released them slowly over two years and then he did a slow weight loss cuz like there's no way someone could lose that much weight in Seven months and not have like loose skin. That's just like physically not possible So like there that's a theory but also people are now saying like what if like he

What if he pre-recorded these videos of him tiny before all of the weight gain and then he's releasing them now? I don't know. There's lots to think about here, y'all. Let's dive in, should we? I like this.

Like the thing is when he was doing the things with his boyfriend of fighting with his boyfriend, we always were like, this is like a crazy bit, but it's like kind of funny. Like it's an interesting idea because obviously nobody who is actually fighting with a partner would publicize that. So we always thought it was fake.

But I will say when he like gained all that weight, I was like, damn, maybe he kind of is descending into madness. But there is like there was always a level where I'm like, he's playing up this character. Like everybody already thinks he's crazy because like he went from being vegan to doing this and like whatever. So it's like an easy bit to play a part of. It's genius.

So I always thought it was a bit, but there was part of me that was like, damn, there might be something actually a little off about him, but we always assumed it was a bit. And then when he stopped doing the videos, I always just thought he stopped doing it because like he was bored. Like he just made all the money he wanted to make and he dipped. And then he like also what convinced me for a little bit that it wasn't a bit. And like, even if it was a bit the whole time, this...

is like not a bit. Like you started doing OF content and like posting like nudes and sex tapes and shit. - And posting himself pissing. I just can't stop pissing. - I just can't stop cumming. I really just, I just cannot stop cumming. - That, I think, yeah, that was the point where we were like, okay, maybe it's not a bit because like to commit that far, like,

The it's gone past a bit you were literally diving into some fucking respect and also like even if it wasn't a bit the whole time to come back seven months later and be like it was all a bit guys gotcha even if it wasn't is also hyper like intelligent I don't know the whole thing is exciting and like I really hope his next steps forward are like either him or

slowly over time gaining weight again or like him being like captive like held captive and it's like he's been forced yeah Marina Joyce thing real no no that was like mass internet hysteria like this girl just like rotted her brain with Molly and was just like a little weird and like everybody thought she was held captive

Bro, the Marina Joyce era of the internet, like what a time to be alive. What a time. It was literally so insane. I also just love saying Marina Joyce. Marina Joyce. We should definitely look into make sure that I feel like you would know. Yeah, I looked into it. It's not real. And she posts TikTok still to this day. Like I found her TikTok account like a couple of weeks ago. There's nothing better than Facebook.

finding like a fallen soldier of the internet, like of just like finding them again and being like, whoa, like what are you up to? And like, it's so interesting, all the different paths. Like for some reason, the religious path is a big path for like former like internet. Scientology is mine. Scientology is mine. You need to stop saying that because I want no part of that. Like I don't want to be a part of that. Period. All right, I'll keep it to myself.

- Just religious prosecution. - I'll go by myself. Oh, I realized I have a shirt that has you on it. Wait, let me... - Oh. - Is that not just Drew? - Wait, let me see.

that's me if i got a haircut you in the big ass hat i was like making tiktoks last night and then i literally took it off because i was like i know the comments are gonna be like why do you have to run your shirt i mean you are my biggest fan it's actually like an 18th century writer so get fucking educated that is fucking dust

Mean Yeah, we did nothing left of the really dead Do bodies like fall apart in the coffin? Yeah, they turned a literal like fucking soil. Oh Except the teeth the teeth stay I think mmm teeth and bones the bones stay no bones don't stay bones like wither right? No, I'm gonna know also your hair continues to grow after you die. All right

- Purr. - And your nails. So like dead bodies that are exhumed like seven months later, their hair is longer, their nails are like super long and scary. - Cunty. - Yeah, and they're really skinny. - Keeping the cunt alive. - Yeah, and they're super skinny and tiny. - I may pass but my cunt never will. I think when I die I wanna donate my box to science. - Me? - Yeah.

When I die, I want to donate my penis to science. I'm not an organ donor. Is that like a problematic thing? Like, I don't believe in being an organ donor. I'm an organ donor and I regret it, low key. If I'm on my deathbed, they're going to like fucking just let me die. They're not going to try. They're not going to try to resuscitate me. They're like, oh, well. They're like, well, we need that kidney. Yeah, we need that kidney. Give me that kidney. Give me that damn kidney. Give me that damn descending colon. I feel like that could be like,

seen as like very selfish but i just don't want bitches digging around my body also to be i'm not treating this body very well so like i don't think that's what i was thinking i was like bitch you're not getting my lungs you're definitely not getting my like intestines like obviously you're not getting my stomach like my kidneys have been like fucking ran through poking around to be like i don't want this i know like they're probably full of stones right now should i call timothy chalamet

I'm going to call Timothy real quick. I've been thinking, you know what? I think you're going to call Timothy Chalamet. If he doesn't answer, this is going to be so... Timothy, hey. Hey, Timothy. We're recording on the podcast right now. I'm just proving that I am on a phone call basis with Timothy Chalamet. I know it's weird. Hey. Yeah. What's up, bro? What are you doing? I'm filming the movie right now.

Just got up the set, actually. The Bob Dylan one? Yeah, we were filming a few pickups for it. Just kind of wrapping things up. You want to come over? Oh, baby, I wish I could. Don't call me that on the air. Sorry, I wish I could, but I got to go to Paris tomorrow. Can I come? Yeah, sure. Oh, you got other bitches. Yeah, sure. It's not like, huh? You got other bitches and hoes.

Oh, come over to New Jersey. Hop on the PJ. We'll get over there. All right, babe. Oh, well, I'll see you later, okay? Okay, call me tonight. You call me. How about that? It's always me calling. All right, bye.

but i see i'm telling y'all dude what's fucked up is i've seen people like in our comments be like i'm actually so confused that the famous people they do know and they don't know because every now and then i see like pictures of them with somebody so then i'm like oh wait maybe they are friends with these people like it is also why are you moving into the territory of saying that you and timothy are a thing like that's kind of weird i'm not that he is he is i'm not

Like, I didn't say shit. He was the one that called me babe, and I find that shit very weird. Also, it sounded so much like Josie, and then when he understood what I was saying, he was like, oh. Like, oh, man. Oh. Oh.

Well, I think what I need to do to clear my mind, I was thinking about it. I was like, maybe I need to go on a camping trip and go fishing. Like fishing has to be a part of it. But then I started thinking about it. Yeah. But then I started thinking about it. I was like, fishing is actually so fucked up. Like, I don't think fish have the capacity to keep memory space like this.

But fishing to me feels equivalent of like if I'm driving down the road and I see somebody running and I sped up and then slam my brakes right in front of them. So I just let them think for like three seconds of their life they were going to fully die. And then was like, I'm kidding. Like keep running. You keep running. That's what fishing feels like to me. Like fish, like moving around for their life in a net and then like picking them up and being like so gorgeous. Go back. Like go back. No, it's like you got to like.

He who has the pearls controls the masses. Me when I'm in the pearl shop on that one app filter on TikTok. Oh, yeah. Me when I'm Sophie and it's covered in oil.

No, I love fishing. Last time I went fly fishing, though, in an alpine lake, I got out of the water and my ankles and feet were covered in leeches. Literal leeches. Are leeches deadly? That's like a quicksand thing to me as a kid where I always thought leeches were deadly, but they're not deadly. They're not deadly. Are eels deadly?

I feel like eels might be like, if there's like 5,000 eels, like all shocking you at the same time, isn't that fucking crazy that there's a fish that can just like make electricity with our body. I mean, everything is electricity. Everything is wavelengths. Everything is pulses. Like, um, everything is light. Everything was pulses. I'd be a lot happier. Hey,

But yeah, it was covered in leeches and I peeled them off one by one and I thought it was going to hurt so bad. But really all it did was give me like the heebie-jeebies. Like it didn't hurt at all. And my blood was like leaking out. Like it made like little small perforations. They're like fucking like evolution. Right here sitting. Oh my God, I can't do shit around y'all. They're like evolutionary. Fuck y'all.

Stop! I'm not making fun of you. Bro, I think I look good right now. Like, in my outfit. I've been drinking a lot of potassium. I love potassium, y'all. If you want to de-bloat, drink potassium. Potassium, potassium. I think it might be a scam. But only if you're a guy. Yeah, I don't think it's doing anything for me. No, it works, y'all. I swear it works. I haven't noticed any effects, honestly.

No, no, on me. Sorry. No, you look good, Drew. On me. I really meant for me because we're both doing it. Oh my God. Well, I think I'm just going to get into media. Yeah, you should just because he's going to have like a fit. You know that I was talking about me, right? Bitch, I don't want to talk to you. We've been left alone too often in this episode. It's really freaking me out. Drew? Oh.

He's hitting himself. Drew Siop, if your butt stinks through your jeans, you need to go to the hospital. That's all I got today, y'all. That's honestly a banger. Well, my media of the week is honestly just dance by justice. That's it.

D-I-N-C-D-N-C-E. Do the D-I-N-C-E. One, two, three, four, five. That music video when I was a child, I was like, wow. And now watching it, I'm like, bro, that's it. That's like the pains of growing up, I guess. You just like aren't as amazed with anything. Okay, poop. Big poop. It's just like poop and stuff. I'm gonna like, I wish I could grab your hat and pull it so far down you'd disappear into it.

And then I would flush the hat down the toilet. Oh, my God. I like Amoeba by Claro. I've been listening to that. The live rendition of that was so good. I mean, by the time this comes out, she won't be in LA anymore. But if she's going to your city, you should really figure it out. But I think it's a sold out tour. So actually now I feel mean for being. Make it work. Make it work. Ego Baby by Blade. Belfast Orbital. Yeah.

Gimme head DJ Clint. Okay. Oh, actually, the rest of my media is still abandoned Luncheonette by...

Hall & Oates, such a good album. And I used to be like the last three songs on this album suck ass. But I have listened to that album so much in the past year that it has just become they're good songs to me. Even though I know when I first heard them, I was like, these songs are redonkulous. Now they're so good. They're bangers. Yeah, now I have such a deep connection to them. And you've been listening to the Beatles a lot all day every day. You love the Beatles now. No, the fuck I haven't.

I still haven't listened to, other than Abbey Road, I haven't listened to a full Beatles album, like, all the way through. I need to get a CD and just, like, start listening. Try. Try, try, try. Try, try, try. No, I do. Guys, we know this. I came around the corner, and I'm like, the Beatles are chill. Like, we're cool. We'll let it slide. We'll let it slide. And you will let the Beatles slide. Well...

Fuck me man, well bye. Jesus Christ, holy shit.