Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.
if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, smile more. Oh, hello. I want a puff bar so bad. Oh.
well and you never needs to hit a puff bar ever again in her entire life because i went to um a smoke shop and i saw that they had zins and i've heard a lot a lot about them this episode is going to be demonetized because literally less than 10 seconds and i'm talking about like how bad i want to smoke like that's on me though is that a problem
I don't know. Or is it cursing? I think it's cursing. I think it's just cursing. Hey, don't try your best not to curse. Seriously. But anyways, I saw Zenz and I was like, you know, like, I'm curious. Like, I know a lot of people that do them and like swear by them. And I'm like, ooh, like, I want to try them. Like, let me just find out another method to put nicotine in my bloodstream. Like, the attic part of my brain like wins again. And so...
I went there and I picked them up and I bought the mint flavor and I tried them and honestly, like I felt very nauseous and I had the worst headache of my entire life and it's just like kind of not a vibe at all, but like it's kind of lit.
Well, Inya grabbed one and she did it for half a second and then spit it out because she felt the same way. But she threw it onto her sandwich wrapper in my car. And then when we got home, I just like wrapped the sandwich up and she brought it in and it was just like sitting on the table. So I put it in the refrigerator. Well, she took the sandwich back out and literally took a bite and ate.
One of those. No, what's worse is like Drew, when we got home, you put it in the fridge. And so like it like kind of like like dehydrated with the spit and became like this string. And it was a turkey sandwich with like white cheese on it. So I thought it was a piece of turkey or cheese. And when I unwrapped the sandwich, a bunch of turkey and cheese had fallen out. So I scooped it up with my finger and like literally tossed it in my mouth and chopped into it and immediately got the worst burning sensation on the right side of my mouth.
and down my throat. This turkey's spicy. And I was like, oh my God, what is in here? And then I spit it out and I tasted the mint and I was like, oh my fucking God, dude. I just ate half a zen. Did you get fucked up? I mean, it ramped up my fever and I was sick for the next like two days. Yeah. Oh my God. And you had sun poisoning, y'all. Literal sun poisoning. Okay, I think it was a mix of sun poisoning. I started my period and I had a fever. What?
Oh my god, you like almost barked though. That was a crazy reaction. Um, so yeah, God was punishing me. I think I got food poisoning partially off of what I ate on the plane. Like I had a midnight fight. Well, didn't your sister get food poisoning from something y'all ate together? Yeah, but she got it like there's no way I got delayed food poisoning the fuck like it's literally- Did you get the food poisoning on the plane?
No. Does it happen that fast? I can. I can.
It's a mystery, but it probably was just sun poisoning because I had a fever. I had chills. I had a headache. I had nausea. But the scary part is my like I didn't get sun poisoning in a way of like blisters and like crazy. Like I did get burned, but none of my skin has peeled, which is actually my nightmare because now I have the weirdest sun tan ever like in my life because I only got burned on like the back of my arm, the back of my shoulder and my hip.
And then right here. So it's not even like a full side of my body is tanner. It's literally I have like a really dark spot here, a really dark spot here that has a thumbprint because I was laying on my side talking to my family like this. So it's like a thumbprint. And then it's like goes into a sharp bikini line. And it literally looks like I got weird airbrush that hasn't come off. Like I fucking
you got like uh what is it that was it you come back in there for and you want it to be like if you can't figure that if you want like and you can be suntanned stop it like it's spray tan yeah yeah yeah yeah also drew does this thing i pointed out that that wasn't you doing it but you do this thing where sometimes if he gets really tired it usually happens later at night or after the day and it's always with josie because he wants to like
When you, me, and Josie hang out, we have joke competition, basically. It's just us trying to see who can say something funny that will become the thing we repeat all day. For the next four months. Yeah. And Drew, I wish I remembered the sentence, but Drew was talking to us. And then at the end of the sentence, just gave up. But Drew does this thing, instead of just stopping the sentence, he just goes,
I just like mumble it off like he just like mumbles off and you do it a lot with jokes like if you start a joke that as it's starting you you realize it's not gonna be funny you're just like and that's what I just don't finish it because it's not worth like the finish but it's something I do unintentionally um but fuck that made me think of something what did you just say
I just, I said what I said. Oh my God. I said that we just have joke competition all day. Like all we want to do is say things that we will repeat forever. Whatever. I can't remember what I was going to add to that. But...
But what I really came here to talk about today is Jojo Siwa. And it's not going to be the take that you think it's going to be. I know you're going to be nice. I support Jojo Siwa with my whole heart and soul. I think what she's doing is fucking hilarious. And even if it is unintentional and she is just actually crazy and delusional, I'm like, girl, I'm getting a goof and a gab. This is actually funny to me. Yeah, I mean, she has this.
locked in every day i'm checking i'm like where's the look at how many views the views to like ratio on her tiktok account is all you need to know that she is an entertainer and what she is doing is entertainment and she is eating fucking down now i did hear the song she's been teasing i was a bad girl
But that does not change my feelings. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, like you don't like fuck with the song, but you're like, honestly, you go and entertain. Yeah, exactly. That is someone that I want on this podcast. That is someone who I want to get a new costume designer more than anything in my goddamn second life. Makeup artist, costume designer, please, JoJo. Because that's my thing. And like, again, I'm not going to sit here and like give a whole rundown of like the creatives. Like, I think that is just her vibe. And I've come to a point in my life
at my big ass age that I understand, I need to stop being like, that shit's fucking ugly because everything is subjective. Some people, that's just their vibe. Their vibe is ugly. Their vibe is ugly. I was going to say, a lot of things is objectively ugly. But what I'm saying is like, some people like,
ugly and if ugly is their pretty ugly is the new pretty like oh okay ugly it's giving ugly and that's okay it's like ugly but I know that's your thing so it's amazing so it's hideous actually um I just want her to get a new costume designer and like a new makeup artist and then
I unironically I unironically think if she tweaked those two things she could find her footing like the song will be played in H&M do not fret like if you change that costume it will be played in H&M did you hear the song she like released a teaser video I just saw a girl who guessed the way it would sound and like the girl was like karma is stupid karma is a bitch she quoted it and like revealed the full song and it's crazy
Okay, like one thing, that is not JoJo Siwa. I don't know who the fuck is singing that song, but it is not JoJo. Two, I actually like...
No, no, no, no, no, no. You were going to say you like the song. I don't hate the song. I don't like the song. Yeah, it's not the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. I don't like the song, but I don't hate the song. Oh, just wait till that earworm gets you and the next thing you know, you're listening to Don't Don't See Why. That's what I was going to say is like it's giving earworm. Like I hear it like three or four more times in a TikTok video and I'm like, like it's not that bad. Okay, but you also like...
I love everything. Honestly, it's amazing. Yeah, it is. I was going to make fun of you for it, but it actually is beautiful. You will say you like everything. I can find the beauty. I can find the beauty in everything. I'm more like I do the thing that I feel like I'm trying to be nice, but it somehow is almost worse where I'm just like, I don't like it, but I could see why somebody would like that. Yeah. You have to be really fucking weird and stupid to like it. You have to be actually like deaf, dumb, and stupid, but like...
never forget me getting called uh deaf dumb and stupid by a high school counselor on the phone and the guy was on the phone with my dad and then my dad came to school and beat him up classic classic and you don't fuck with a humane exactly don't be like that and i'm gonna say shut up suck my balls um no but my um ability to like everything comes from a
deep deep seated fear of karma I am like I am so scared of karma I know that's like the tease I heard karma in that song and I was like wait I don't I disobeyed um but okay that's all I had to say about Judge Oseo what do you want to talk about now um I'm gonna talk about the story actually I forgot what the story was oh the bus driver I saw somebody comment and was like damn I actually wanted to hear the bus driver story uh that I almost said last week about the bus driver who hit me
Wait, what? Last week, or maybe it was two weeks ago, it's when you brought up the twin thing again, right when I was about to say a story about a bus driver. And you were like, no, I'm not going to say my story. And then we just moved on and nobody said their story. But when I was in like kindergarten, kindergarten, I had, I would take the bus home. Not to, I would take it home and I would take it alone. Broke.
No money. Did you never take the bus? No, I took the bus home. Yeah, it was a vibe. It was a vibe. The big cheese bus.
cheesy bus. Actually, I do get many fun up. They'd be like, don't you get on the cheese bus. One time the cheese bus broke down and they shoved all of us into a minivan and like, you know, the wheel cap that's like in the van. Me and my friend sat on it and we played with airheads and we were like making the airhead short and I'll never forget that. But that same friend went on to call me like a bunch of rude names because he had a crush on me. And then once we went to middle school, I like distance from him and he thought I was a bitch. But
He was weird for sure. Anyway, I would get on the bus and this bus driver was a fucking bitch. I feel like every bus driver was a bitch. And like, honestly, not even in a mean way. You deserve to be a bitch. Because if I had a car, even having a car full of y'all sometimes pisses me off. Having a car full of a bunch of children who are mine would piss me off because they're annoying.
Um, but there were a bunch of rules. You weren't allowed to talk. You weren't allowed to eat. She separated all the kids all the time. So my bus didn't have like it wasn't full like there didn't need to be two kids per row. It was a small enough amount of kids that she could put one kid in one seat, skip a seat, put a kid in that seat, skip a seat. So we were all fucking separated like we were going to jail.
And we weren't allowed to talk. So it had to be like a 30 to 40 minute bus ride of dead fucking silence because she didn't want you to talk. She wouldn't play the radio. That was already a problem because you're fucking terrifying. You weren't allowed to eat snacks. Okay.
That's where the problem comes in because after school, I'd be hungry as fuck and I would buy hot chips from the vendors after school because at my school on Wednesdays, they would sell Papa John's pizza, hot chips, like pickled eggs. It was a fucking buy. There's a new Papa John's stuffed crust calzone pizza. Why do you know about fast food releases so often? Like Drew will literally be like, oh my God, did you hear about like Wendy's New Deal, the...
biggie bag like blah blah blah blah no the biggie bag is literally fucking crazy it's like five dollars and you get a burger and six nuggets and a shake like it's crazy it's fucking crazy no i keep up because i like watch the seminars like the release seminars of like fast food places
I didn't even know they all did that. Yeah, not all of them do it, but they will release shit or have a video that comes out or release a flyer with all the new shit or a PDF. It's like you got to be tapped in like I am. Yeah, that's like a weird thing to be tapped into. Anyways.
So I would, all the kids would do it too. Like I had this little like thing that I would, I would like put my book bag on the seat and like take a chip out of time and like be looking out the window like, also she's driving so I don't know how the fuck she's seeing me. I'm not being loud. I was gonna say,
I was just going to say, like, they always see. Yeah. Even if they act like they don't see, they always see. So that was the start of it. And, like, she came up to me and she looked down and she was like, you're eating? And I was like, no, I'm not. And she ripped open my book bag, saw it, and, like, lost it.
Launched her hand at my thigh. Wait, was the bus pulled over? Yeah, she like pulled over the bus. It was after a kid got dropped off. So in front of a random child's house, she comes to the back, she sees it, and she smacks the fuck out of my thigh. Oh, she physically hit you. Yeah, she would hit me. I thought that you meant a bus hit you this whole time. I was waiting for the most insane twist. No, but my mom didn't get hit by a bus when she was 14 in Honduras. My aunt got hit by a bus, run over actually. That's not real.
And then a girl from my school got run over by a bus and like she was like literally paralyzed for like a year. But she's fine now. Fucked up her whole spine. Did you get to sue? I actually don't know if she sued or not. I bet she settled with the district. Because I think about this all the time and I'm like, at that time, we could have sued. We were in a position for reasons I can't say to sue and I don't know why we didn't. But whatever.
Also, I was like, we could have sued the Peter Pan peanut butter because when they had a recall, I got sick as fuck from it. That's all I used to eat as a kid. To this day, I am horrified at Skippy peanut butter because of that damn recall. Like, Skippy peanut butter is on my do not eat list and I will never eat it again. I got the worst food poisoning ever. Anyway, so she hit me once and then I went home and I told my parents. Actually,
Before she hit me, though, the thing that got her in trouble and like her hitting me was the second problem because she hit me that time. And then getting off the bus, she grabbed me and she was like, you don't eat on my fucking bus. And why did she fucking hate you? She hated me. And this wasn't the first offense she had against me because one time it's illegal to like drop a kid off at their house and not wait for them to get in. That's why buses wait there, because they legally have to wait till the child enters the building.
didn't live in the best neighborhood ever why did this bitch drop me off at school she literally she was like get off it's your time like stop I got off and I go sit on the front porch I was in kindergarten I didn't have a phone there was no way to contact anybody bitch I went and I was sitting on the fucking front porch for so long I was sitting there for like two hours and then my god parents used to live across the street and my god dad got back and he was like my nickname was bones and he was like bones and I was like
And I just started sobbing because I was like, I've been here for so long. And then. That's character growth. Yeah. It actually was so funny and I don't think it affected me at all. It's like literally so funny that she smacked the fucker. It's crazy that you fucking remember that though. Like that was like literally a decade and a half ago. No, I have like, I'm not kidding. It actually scares me how vivid of memories I have. I remember everything. So never fucking cross my path, you motherfucker.
because I will remember that shit and I might not bring it up but when you turn around after being a fucking bitch to me I will remember and I will turn and tell my girls and I might not even tell them that day I might wait a few months till one of them comes to me and is like oh you can't believe who was a bitch to me I'm like you can't believe who was a bitch to me four months and three hours ago
Four months and three hours. No, my memory from childhood has been completely erased. I was thinking about that like the other day, like I literally don't remember anything and it was kind of scaring me. I was like, oh my God, like I don't even remember who I am. Like I don't like I remember like fragments and like stories people told me and then I fragment bullet fragments.
but i don't actually remember things like i remember stories that i was told and then they become memories but i don't actually remember them i only remember like traumatic things what age is the cutoff um like i can remember like little tiny things like but again their stories told to me like i don't like i literally couldn't tell you anything that happened like
after before the age of like 12 like i don't i don't remember anything so like two years ago yeah yeah yeah well like six years six years my bad 18 yeah yeah um well i need to take an adderall one day and just write down every memory because i actually do have a fear from like forgetting everything
But it makes sense that you remember like traumatic events more than other because as a human, you are remembering the things that scared you or hurt you because you have to have reactionary like memories for the future. Like that's why you were less likely to remember. No, bitch, I got that from Fiona Apple. I was going to say. I was about to bring that up. No, Fiona Apple did eat. She taught me that and I was like.
No, but I have almost always known that, but I can't say what I was told as a child as to why I remember that.
because that's my fucking business so stop asking me i'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore and you're probably thinking wow oh my god i feel so bad for them they deserve ads uh but we're doing our job you're not doing your job you need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or i will never do my job again i like i can't believe i miss reading ads i like i miss the taste um
But yeah, I remember a lot of things. A lot of things. I remember coming back from Burger King when they had the Wizard of Oz toy. Or I think it was Burger King or McDonald's. Like, I don't fucking remember. And they had the Wizard of Oz toy. So I had a Dorothy toy. And I got back home and I was sitting by the front door. I think I already told this on this podcast, actually. But I was sitting by the front door, cutting her hair and playing with her. And I was bored as fuck. I was like, you know what? I'm going to call the police. You don't want to talk to me.
Let's call the cops. I love that every kid just goes like, I'm bored. I'm going to call the police. It's the taboo. Like, I'm told I can't do it. So I like want to fucking do it because I had this same moment. I like remember calling the police, then like leaving it on and running and hiding under the bed until they got there. And my parents,
were pissed like they spanked the shit out of me my mom was chill as fuck and she knew it was me because at the time if I was like six when that happened my sister had to have been like three so it wasn't her my brother was fucking asleep in the other room I was the only I was the only soul awake I think my mom was also taking a nap and I was just sitting there by the front door and I was like cutting air and I was like I'm gonna call police and I remember
remember the layout of the house so well that i was like we had this couch by the front door that left a little gap so like if you came and you could squeeze past and go to like the like front like sitting area and i was sitting between that and the front like door area with my feet up and i distinctly remember sitting there and then just getting up and i just like turned walked like a few feet to the phone like the home phone and just grabbed it and fucking clicked it put it to my ear heard someone be like
It's your emergency. Like Miami, like the police department, what's your emergency? And I go,
I just slammed it back down and went and I went back to that spot too and I just sat there and I waited and I waited for them I was like let's see if y'all actually got that you were gonna tell them off yeah and why the fuck are you at my house I never you were wasting resources very young yeah that's my whole vibe like I learned from a young age it's like waste waste waste use use use landfill landfill landfill that just reminds me I've probably told it 17 times on this fucking podcast but when my parents had like the
the direct TV guy at the house. Me and Madeline both share this memory of us hearing our mom say,
sing the jn silent bob song because it was playing on the tv and they were like oh they are like three-year-old twins like know the lyrics to the jn by silent bob song because like my older brothers loved that movie and watched the shit out of that movie and i remember standing there me and madeline at the end of my mom's bed just saying singing the song and it's like
really naughty. Like, no three-year-old should be saying that shit. And then I remember my mom, like, the DirecTV guy was mortified. He did not think it was funny at all. And then my mom got pissed at us and, like, we got in trouble after they told us to fucking sing the song. You know what our version of that was? Tenacious D. Like, my mom would play the Tenacious D soundtrack in the car with us all the time and she let us sing the fuck out of it. But then...
We had majority like kids, like naughty songs. This is the song. Smoking weed. Smoking weed. He eats no bread.
That's fucking awesome. But basically there's this one part where they're like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And we would sing along to it. We can bleep that so we don't get demonetized or whatever now. No, now you can curse. We're past that marker. The threshold. Yeah, we had like, I think Tenacious D was it for us, but I don't remember any of the songs vividly. But what I do remember is, I think it's like, what is it? It's like Zach and Brack and Daxter, like,
the late night show. It's like an old adult swim show that wasn't that profane or I don't know if they had a kids version. Very profane. I like that word. Is that a word? No, I like that word. I'm going to start using it. It is a word. Okay, wait. I need to find the song. Oh, this. It's Brack. We had this shit on CD and I would sing all the... This is the scariest shit I've ever seen in my life. I love this. I thought it was so...
- I love beans. I love beans. - This is so, what is that one dude that we like included him in our tour promo like first, what's his name? - Jack Stauber. - This is Jack Stauber's like greatest inspiration. - No, literally they were so lit. Like they had a bunch, they had one about mashed potatoes. My mom was such a like trooper because we had this whole thing
thing on CD and she would listen to this in the car. Dude, it's crazy what happens to like parents' brains because like even it's happening to me a little bit like Madeline and Steven played the Imogen Heap happy song that's like apparently like
made for baby's brains. Like you can, a baby can be screaming and crying and you put this fucking Imogen Heap happy song. It's literally like scientifically developed. Like it's her and scientists develop this song and it will stop the baby from crying immediately. It's unbelievable. It's like an actual cheat code. Well, they played it. I'm not exaggerating on our road trip to Missouri, like 400 times in a row. And like,
One, that song is fucking good, so I don't care. But two, like, I just tuned it out. Like, it's crazy how good parents are at tuning out shit. Yeah. But my mom was also crazy because she would play that and only Enya CDs. So...
But Enya's a vibe. I know, but to name me Enya and be like, and you know what you're going to listen to? You're never going to believe it. Orinoco Flow on repeat 300 times. That is my favorite bit. Don't ever get into a fucking car with me because I will put Orinoco Flow on and play it for two seconds and then restart it. Play it for 15 seconds, then restart it. Play it for five seconds, then restart it. It's horrible. And the intro to that song is the funniest.
funniest shit I've ever heard in my life especially after it's like yeah I think that's it after the 35th time like oh it gets so good okay so something I rediscovered this week is the Will Smith Chris Rock slap y'all okay that is something that we like grazed over and kind of just let slide as a society that is like it's really fucking crazy no it's like extremely like when's the last time you watched it
I think when I was with you guys. You were here and we watched it live. I remember blacking out for a second. It is the most jarring thing I've ever seen on television. And re-watching it, it's almost hard for me to watch because he went from laughing at the joke to literally two seconds later walking up on stage and sending... Two people who just found out about the Will Smith map. Yeah, like sending the gnarliest slap I've ever...
ever seen well the weirdest thing was it seemed like it was a joke yeah exactly everyone was like are we supposed to laugh because this is like funny but I don't know I'm trying to find the picture of us all sitting on the couch what year was that 2021 I think 22 maybe I don't know I have a picture of all of us sitting on the couch
all of y'all sitting reacting to it, like staring at the TV after a while. Yeah, it was crazy re-watching it because I remember it being pretty intense, but it is... The uncensored version is crazy. It's hard to watch, and I remember even being like...
Who gives a fuck? Yeah, literally, who cares? Two men fighting. Classic. I don't give a fuck. That's funny. But re-watching it, it is so stark and scary. Also, you can almost see Chris Rock's face kind of swell up a little bit. And his mouth is a little twisted from being smacked so hard. And it's...
So insane that that happened. I still think it's impressive. Like if I got slapped on national television. He ate it. He just like goes right back to making a joke about it. But it kind of is sad because you could see him like trying to recover. And like he was in the worst, like the hardest position an entertainer can be put in is where like the, the like, what is it? The blanket of disbelief or the like veil of disbelief? Suspension of disbelief. The suspension of belief. Like,
Fully shattered in that movie. Because the audience was at a loss for words. Because they couldn't tell if it was real or not. And then he also was kind of like.
Like he genuinely got his fucking marbles shook, bitch. He got slapped so hard he had to like come to. I'm shocked he didn't have a concussion. I would have lied and said I had a concussion and sued him. Why did you sue him? Yep, yep. Okay, so my social battery has been at an all-time low. Like I literally hate hanging out with people. It's like not my fucking vibe right now.
It's like not that deep. Like, don't hate me. I don't hate you. Like, it's not that deep. But hanging out. He's like, here's all the people who talk to me and I fucking hate them.
Yeah, hanging out with Inya and Orion at the same time is so great for me. It is literally the most... Like, hanging out in a trio is, like, potentially the greatest thing that's ever happened to me because Inya and the other person can just talk the whole time and then I can just sit and, like, rot on my phone and, like, chime in every once in a while. And it's, like, I get, like, my socialization for the day, but also, like...
I don't have to speak at all. And like, it's such a vibe. That's why you like Josie here so much. Cause me and him. I can just retire to my bedroom. Feels like he's fully just like a part of something. Yeah. It's, it's really is a vibe to not participate in the conversation at all. That's okay. I'm back guys. I am fucking back. I didn't want to say it last week because I didn't want to Jameson, but the birds are fucking chirping. I get up. I get up.
And I literally am back to it. Like for a while, I wasn't getting up and being like, hey, Siri, play this song. And that is a sign that I'm down bad. Because if you don't know, it's so annoying to like say this ritual out loud because it makes it seem like I like I swear I'm something. But it actually is something is wrong with me. And I wake up and I immediately need to hear noise so I don't get lost in my thoughts. But.
I wake up and I say, Shut the fuck up, Siri. You stupid witch. Like, damn. Rotten hell. I don't even remember what I was saying. I fucking hate Apple and I hope they die. Yeah. Siri is rotten. She's rotten inside and out.
Oh, yeah, but I wake up and I say, hey, bitch, because I don't want to say her name now because she's listening. I say, hey, bitch, play Don't Want to Break Up Again by Ariana Grande. And I dance around my fucking room. And then I give myself a headache because I'm at my big age jumping up and dancing around. It's getting hard. The first listen through of that album, it was giving me like I was like, yeah, I was like, I don't care. This shit sucks balls. I'm sorry, Ariana. We lost her. We lost you. But.
There's a few good songs on there. I haven't heard it yet. Does she mention Spongebob in it? Wait, open that drawer behind you and pull out Spinach Bob? Is Spinach Bob in there? Spinach Bob? Oh, God.
We have spinach Bob here. That's like only a joke that we've made to Josiah. So fucking stupid. Where did you get it? Lucas got it for me for Christmas. That was like my Christmas. Is that canon or is that just like a weird? It's like his father.
literally like his fuck they didn't even change the color of his nose like now he kind of looks more like an elmo ass yeah but it's you can put your phone in here it's actually really useful um i love it we have the link to it on tiktok shop yes um but it's so funny you brought that up because i have something screenshotted that i need to know y'all's answers for
Okay, literally, which one would you choose? And I need the wee waiting room background music playing in the background as we decide which one you're going to choose. Okay, so the problem with this is I was already sent this by a friend and I said I would pick Perk Overdose. Oh, okay, okay. So that's my final answer and I'm sticking with it because...
Any of these? Oh, my God. I don't like. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I would purposefully get on a Boeing 737 that I know already has a faulty part and I would get right next to the exit window and I would jump out because wow. Wow. Wow. What's crazy? What's crazy is how much Facetune menus that we're not talking about.
How much Facetune menu? All of those menus looked good. Oh, how much Facetune? I thought you said... I like the way he said it. Like, you said menus too close, so it sounded like you're saying menus. How many FaceTime menus? He said, it's crazy how many FaceTime... Which would you choose for a life partner at a bang? Life partner. Probably Travis Kelsey, because I feel like...
All of them terrify me. But also, like, all of them terrify me, but we all know this. Men in general terrify me. There's something, like, I was introduced to, like, I was hanging out with friends yesterday, and they introduced me to, like, another man, but we had to go into his house. And I never wanted to leave somewhere so fast, because I was like, I don't know this man. I don't want to be in, like, behind concrete with him. Like, we need to be outside. Okay.
concrete like I feel like I'm being trapped and I'm gonna be thrown into a room like I don't want to talk to you I'm so sorry you can be the nicest person ever but if you are a man specifically too if you are a man above like 28
and I don't know you and you're straight. I, I literally, I have nothing there. There is nothing there. Like, unless you have a long-term committed woman in your life who I just don't happen to be friends. Actually, that's even more reason for you not to exist because I met that girl without you and she's way better without you. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm
so sorry i just like i don't like hi you have there's no need no we've known kai for long enough we met you before you were 28 and our first conversation was you wanted to kill yourself i wanted to kill myself he wanted to kill his self and we talked about ketamine that is a crazy vibe we were all like wait there's a good vibe going here he gets it he gets it drug addicts you know what it is too is because i've realized as we've gotten older
like i have a friend who moved here no you literally no one's ever moved here me saying the friend like it's a ticket i have a friend who moved here but sabrina the other day in the car with me just goes you know i've never met a friend group that like every single person struggles with anxiety or depression i've never met that in my life and in my head i was like that's literally not true that makes no sense every friend group has it but the more i start talking to bitches the more i'm like
oh you might be normal like you you might be normal and i might not be normal because in my head i am realizing this as self-aware as i am i have this weird thing where i meet somebody especially if it's in our like like community circle that i assume we have this not only do we have the same beliefs like morally about music about art whatever but we all have the same
brain brain chemistry for some reason and i think i only had that delusion because all of us in our main friend group other than like a given like to me is zamar i feel like zamar is like pretty like well like chemistry balance that's like the only person in our friend group who i know like that and everybody else like has their issues like has their struggles mentally so i just assume yeah everybody's going through it but then
I just recently have been like catching up with people since I've been out of town so long, having lunch with them. And then I'm like saying my dark shit that to me isn't dark. I'm like, this is like the usual. And I can see in their face that they're like,
Dude, I just had the same realization because I got on this medication that actually has helped with anxiety. And like two months have gone by and I'm just like, oh, shit. I feel like I got red pilled and I'm like, oh, that's why people react to things that way because they're not insane. No, literally. And I'm just...
Oh, wow. It's such... I feel like I'm the most normal person. You just said that your favorite part about hanging out with people is that you don't have to speak. Dude, you download the KFC PDFs every quarter. It's crazy. I have a whole folder on my phone of all of the fast food. We're going to find out that Drew has a whole separate email just destined to all his favorite fast food chains so they can email him about new products.
I love fast food. I think it's better than sliced bread. The best thing that happens in sliced bread is fast food. I agree.
Okay, I will say I hate when a bitch... It's like that thing is like... Little Caesars are so good when you don't have a bitch in your ear. It's real as fuck. Those Little Caesar like little stuffers or whatever the fuck they're called. The puffs are so fucking good, y'all. They're so good. The hype is actually real. What? This. Like why do we have only this light on? Like I feel like it's like something about this is very odd. We're glowing. Um...
But I hate when a bitch is like, oh my God, fast food is like so bad for you. But then they go and get basically the same shit from a restaurant. Like you're going to get in like a chicken sandwich from my fucking great white. Anyway, you're still having a chicken sandwich except mine only took 10 minutes to get here. And your restaurant food is so bad for you. I'm pretty sure I eat it. I'm like, no, this is bad. I know this is bad for you. No, literally. It's like Accutane dyes your bones neon.
I literally have that written down to talk about. There's no way I would fit in. Is that real? Like, I don't understand. Yes, dude. People, like, their bones, like, turn neon when they take Accutane. Like, and I remember when I was younger, I wanted to be on Accutane so fucking bad. Not because I had bad acne, but because I literally was like, I want to say I was on Accutane. Like, what? To have the trauma. You are weird. Yeah. I know it, like, causes really gnarly issues with people's brain chemistry. So if you're on Accutane, it'll get better, babe. Yeah.
Like, I don't know, like, what? Like, I'm being brutally honest with y'all and, like, I'm just getting shut fucking down constantly. You're weird as fuck. I'm really trying to find, like, us reacting to Chris Rock. Chris Rock. What the fuck is wrong with us? We're level three brain rot. I feel like my brain is, like, pretty useful, though. I literally read two books in a week. Hello, I'm smarter than a lot of y'all. This is the eighth time she's brought this up.
This is the eighth time. Because I'm actually so proud of it. But it was because I was so sad. That's a huge accomplishment. And now that I'm not as sad as I was two weeks ago, that's never happening again. Yeah. Books are for sad people. Let's be honest. The most I read is when I'm sad as fuck and my phone isn't giving me dopamine. So I have to light my bedside candle and just sit there and read so I can disappear and then fall asleep faster. And when I'm happy...
I'll use my phone for 18 hours. Actually, my screen time has gone way down in the past week. Period. No more 20 hours for me. Well... Okay. That sounded sarcastic, but you did eat. I actually feel like I'm starving now. Okay, I didn't find that picture, but I found this. Someone...
made a shrine of me in their bathroom at school. Oh, I saw that. It happened like months ago and I can't find the video right now. But literally one of the craziest shit things I've ever seen. Like you're damaged, but I love you.
Where is it? Oh, is this it? No, that's just my... What school is that in? Like, where in America? That's what freaks me out. Some of y'all are in parts of America that I don't know exist. And there's... It's so big here. Like, I
I hate that. Like some of y'all are in places that I will never even get close to. That freaks me out. There's too many of us. I mean, we're literally going to Nebraska in like Omaha. Two days. Lincoln, Nebraska. We're going to Lincoln, Nebraska in literally 48 hours. American Airlines
lines is so cunty because i got a an email that was like get ready for your big trip to lincoln i was like girl you know damn well nobody is fucking excited to go to lincoln nebraska no i'm excited to go to lincoln nebraska i just hate that it's cold like i thought about oh wait is it cold it's it's like colder than like now we're getting the good weather here and that's what's pissing me off is because i have to go do that other trip to the cold place for like a
week and a half and it's not good here the cold place um yeah Lincoln Nebraska is gonna be fucking movie fuck fucked up is I actually do my favorite part about the college shows obviously is the show itself because I love seeing your faces my favorite part but
I actually do love it. It's fun. But my favorite part is getting to be back in a hotel room with Drew, which is where our friendship started. Like that's where we first started getting close. So we literally always get to the hotel. We order some shitty fucking food. We get a bunch of snacks. I get high as fuck. And then we sit around and kick our feet and giggle. And we're getting there early so we can start our sleigh early because we're not going out.
No, we never go out. We never go out. But I'll never forget like one of the like first memories I have being together in a hotel room is like us playing with your fucking tampons and pads and like throwing them at the bathroom window. Because we one of our first times like
hanging out just us was it was on press play we were in Colorado and our scary manager gave us edibles and I had never gotten high before like I had never gotten high we were minors yeah we were minors
I had never gotten high before. I'd never smoked, never done anything. Like I was barely starting to drink, which is such a funny thing to say about like a 17 year old. I was like, I was barely even drinking at the time. I was barely even doing Percocets at the time. Yeah, he was barely giving me any painkillers at that time. But we took edibles and we got high and I have videos of Drew. Like we both got high and Drew kept being like, where am I? Where am I? And like just like jokingly being like, I'm freaking out. I'm trapped inside my head. I'm trapped inside my head.
Which probably wasn't a joke. Like, I feel like part of it was you being real because it scares you. And I have a video of Drew Curl about to find it because it's somewhere deep in one of my phones. But it's a beat like, I'm in my head. I'm in my head. Wait, we have to put that in here. Yeah, and I have videos of you throwing the tampons and pads at the window.
And then there was like a heat lamp in the bathroom and Ineos like literally thought she was being cooked alive. Like she was so scared. I think I've said that, but I'm going to say it anyway in case nobody knows it. But I went back to my room and it was Colorado. So it was very cold. I'm from Miami. I didn't I never even thought I never could have imagined the technological advance of
A red light bulb. A light bulb that heats up. Like on purpose. So I was in the bathroom...
about to shower brushing my teeth and i felt myself burning i was like oh my god the weed is making me burn like it's burning my skin my flesh is burning and i got in the shower thinking like oh like it'll cool me down but there was a bigger heat lamp in the shower and i was literally burning alive and i was so scared and high that i got out of the shower covered in soap and fucking like stopped and dropped and rolled in my bed and went to sleep
-Riving around in your bed. -I was dying, then I woke up the next morning and I'd sit in the bathroom, I was like, "Oh my God, it's the light bulb that's hot." I didn't even tell you that for years. That was so embarrassing. -It was years after. That was in my letting it crust over arc where I wouldn't wipe my ass for months at a time. It would just flake off in the bed like a perfect little ring. -Ew. -What? -Like a reptile.
That is so gross. Y'all didn't do that? You know a girl is genuinely bad when she has you wiping your ass. Oh.
You're so stupid. That's very Onika Burgers. Changing your underwear every day. You letting it crest over as Onika Burgers. Somebody was like, their fascination with Coco Montrese will never fail to amaze me. Y'all, you know her performance. You gotta look into Coco Montrese. There's specifically one moment that changed, literally, I'm not exaggerating, changed the trajectory of our lives and I will die on that hill. It brought us closer in a way that I can
even begin to verbalize. Yeah, because it was also at the beginning of our relationship with Josie. I think that's where it started. We started watching RuPaul's... RuPaul's... It's crazy. We started watching it with Josie. And the lore behind it is so fucked up. It's so fucked up because it wasn't supposed to happen, but it did, and I'm so glad it did, but she probably would have gone deep because she's good at what she did. She was supposed to...
lip sync and dance to a Janet Jackson song and they couldn't get the licensing for it so instead she danced to like a 1930s ass beat like it literally made do you know what I'm talking about? I'm gonna show it to you it's crazy look up Coco Montrese All Stars season 2 dance it was like the talent show portion of and it's literally the greatest season of Drag Race ever like season 2 All Stars season 5 that
That was this the one they gave her that royalty free ass music to dance to instead. I'll never forget it. I'll never forget this. I decided to step out of my box. Just a short difference out of myself. Choices. Choices. Also this part, I really hope it works out. Like. I love this. And she's off beat when she rolls the hat. Choices. Is this the right one? Yeah. Girl, are we here? I know. I haven't seen the hat yet. Oh, it comes up. Choices. Choices.
That was a choice. That was a choice. Oh, here it is. I don't even have to see it to know. This shit. Someone doing that with a hat will always be funny. Like, oh my god, that's my Halloween costume. Oh my god.
Come on, Sharice. You'll be that and I'll be detoxed. It's supersonic. It's supersonic. Like, best show ever. Best show ever. I want another episode. I can't believe we have to wait like 40. Okay. Wow, that was good. That was good for me.
Good laugh. Okay, guys, I actually think I'm over Fortnite. You have not been playing at all. The new season sucks. The new season is too much. Like, damn, y'all took a too much pill. Like, it's literally too much. It doesn't even feel like Fortnite. Also, like, what's fucked up is I got on and
I'm not even kidding. It was purely an accident because all you had to do was click one fucking button and I was looking at the battle pass and I accidentally bought the stupid fucking battle pass of all the stupid, like, dumb characters that I don't care about at all. I think there is a... What's her name from Avatar, though? Oh, really? Katara? Is that her name? Oh, Katara? Katara? Um... Kira? Wait...
Anyways, I bought the battle pass and I was like, oh, I'm not even gonna fret because like you can refund shit on fortnight And I when you can't read you can't refund the stupid battle pass and it's the worst thing ever so I literally wasted That's the annoying part is I usually get my trust and believe I get my battle pass ran through very quickly Did you buy it this season? I have it on autopay. Oh my god, dude. Anya's a fortnight member
she's a member she pays 15 bucks a month so i get battle pass and crew pack hello at least i think that's what it means you're deranged y'all are jealous you're jealous i actually you know what's worse is i i think i don't know what it means i think i might be paying for battle pass and crew pack separately no no i think that's what it means okay but yeah and yeah it hasn't been playing fortnight at all
We tried to play the other day and got absolutely shit on Destroyed, and it was just, like, not fun at all. And, like, I'm not going to play shit that isn't fun. Like, that's me. I'm not going to, like, try to force having fun. Okay, yeah. Actually, guys, not to toot my own horn or toot Epic Games' horn, but Crew Pass is lit because I got my Crew Pack and I got my Battle Pass and I get V-Bucks. The cool thing about the...
battle pass though is that once you complete it you get the V-Bucks you spent on it back plus some but I'm not finishing that stupid battle pass because this season fucking sucks yeah this season it's also like there's too many moving parts that it's extremely hard but I did get a win with Josie and I had 15 kills and that did do something to me
but it's too hard. It's like not enjoyable. Fuck the wings. Fuck the lightning bolts. Like it's annoying. And I just find myself playing in like the old map. Me talking about bone in wings. Fuck the wings. Like I want chicken nuggets. Oh, but I did have a crazy experience. I forgot what I was watching. Oh, I was showing, um,
Josh and Lucas, my favorite streamer, prospering. He is the GOAT. He is literally the best. He's the best streamer ever. He is so good. He already got... I don't think he's cheating because that's my king. And also he shows his accuracy and he'll have like 39% accuracy. So I'm like, would a cheater miss so many shots? I don't think so. But...
he already got a 40 kill a 41 kill let me put some respect on 41 kill win this season but I was showing him to Josh and Lucas and he has all these sayings that are like really sweet to me like he'll be like squad wipe like and he's so monotone I literally love him but I was showing his videos to Josh and Lucas and it was an
older video where he was landing an old map and I had like the most visceral feeling. Yeah. Like it was like if somebody showed me a video of where I grew up in Miami. Like I had the same feeling. I was like, I've been there. I've spent my summer there. I have literally spent a summer there. That's literally why people lost their mind at the OG map because that's the feeling like everybody got when it
was like being teased. It was like, oh my God, like we're back. I've been there before. I didn't have enough time with OG Fortnite. I feel like they could have done that for another like three months. I think they have like a full map of just OG now. Yeah, they're bringing it back. Yeah, they're going to have it like how there's like zero build ranked and everything. They're going to have just OG. Yeah. Sick. So your wish will come true, King. So the last thing I want to talk about. Okay. Is like,
Um, it's literally, it's not going to be the last thing you talk about. We're going to have another episode. Oh, true, true, true, true. It is, um, Facebook AI. It has gotten out of control. Oh, like the metaverse? No, like people. So on Facebook, they like, I can't believe I showed you. That was like my favorite one. But basically on Facebook, people make these AI bot accounts that just like shit post, um,
AI generated photos and it like collects data gets likes and views and like it's just like it's basically to make old people fall for this trap and it'll be like a picture of Jesus like saving a woman and like people would be like Amen and like we'll just like love it these AI bots like I don't know how they do it, but they like track the likes on like the like
what is it called when you put it into the ai like the topic the prompt yeah they like track the prompts that they put in and track like the like level to the prompt and then they start like generating images based on like the amount of likes i mean they post like i'm not exaggerating 300 ai generated photos a day on facebook and like it is to the point where it's become so convoluted and messy and it's like literally the funniest i've ever seen so
This one on love God and God loves you. Made it with my own hands. Thanks to everyone who appreciates this. And basically like,
it just like gotten so lost that like they saw like beach and like people like beach photos and they like Jesus photos so they combine the two and then it just like runs it through over and over again until it becomes like a monster of itself like what the one I thought he was laying down when I first saw on your phone oh my god and then like they have somewhere like so this is like the prompt that like got it gets a bunch of likes like building Jesus out of sand that was like my artwork
Yeah, and like it gets hundreds of likes and it's the funniest shit ever. And then... The person looks really real in that. This is another prompt that they have is like they love planes for some reason and like stewardess, I guess like old men like women that are stewardess. Yeah, literally. So they like have Jesus... Wait, what the fuck is happening
That's what I'm saying. They have like Jesus holding a plane stewardess that's being attacked by fucking sharks like flying through the air. Like it's crazy how like this one's insane. Is that Jesus? It's Jesus carrying Rosalia with sharks.
That's her Coachella setup. Then there's the shrimp Jesus. That's what I'm saying. I was like, oh, I need to have AI make me proms and then I paint it. But this one is insane. And all of the comments are like, wow, he's so creative. Amen. We need to save him. They think the kid built this. They think the kid built it.
All of the comments are like, "He built that? Oh, God's good. God is good." Help follow all single mothers? That's what I'm saying. President TV. It's gotten so long. That one's awesome. Oh my God. What does the single mothers thing have to do with anything? I guess people just like single moms.
You know what's the next level down though in that that I saw is that all of the accounts that are commenting is also AI. That's viewing the thing. That internet theory. Yeah, yeah. So I feel like I saw something about that where it was like,
Exponentially, the activity on Facebook is all just AI-generated and AI responses that's feeding into it. And I remember it was episode 100 where we were talking about content being over. We're like...
We made some call of like, oh, like we're about to enter like the post-content era. And it literally feels like that. Yeah, 100%. It's like Bjork made all the sounds she could make. Like we're done making sounds. Music is over. We're done making content. It's so over. But yeah, then I started thinking about dead internet theory. And if you go into like a Twitch chat. Damn, the birds are chirping. Literally.
if you go into a twitch chat that is proof of dead internet theory that's all I'll say there but the last thing I'll talk about if you go into my twitch chat it's like so overloaded that it's like oh my god these people can't be real the last thing I'll talk about is
Okay, so Kai drives a Prius and I saw it on the street. Why would you say that to him? This is a fact. Well, I saw it on the street the other day. It's true. Me without a car or a license. I'm like, I'm so sorry. I saw it on the street the other day and I just got like so riled up and horny. And then I took a picture of after I left it and I left his car like this. How did you do the back part of it though? You don't want to know.
Yeah, this shit actually took me a long time to clean up. No, the story behind this is even fucking crazier. So there was like this semi truck carrying hagfish and they make like a bunch of slime and it opened up and just destroyed like 20 cars. Like it sprayed like
juice like all over it literally literally literally um okay oh wait they're kind of cute but like i have a i have a note to bring up it's that uh drew is a male pog i'm poggers as fuck no no dude i'm poggers yeah i meant p-a-w-g
What the fuck did you just call me? Perfect ass white girl. Isn't it fat ass white girl? See, I just think of that like. No, it sounds like a homophobic slur. No, no. Wow. Oh, I was. Think about it. Oh, wow. No, I was complimenting you and your perfect body. But. Poggers. Poggers in the chat. Right.
Okay, never mind. That kind of backfired. Yeah. You just shouldn't say that. Kai has been playing with Spinach Bob. That's what I'm saying. It's multifaceted. Like, it's literally a great thing. I hate that it's called Spinach Bob. It's so annoying. It's because it's green. It's like, who thought of Spinach Bob? I don't remember. We were in the back of the car. I think it's Josiah. I think Josiah came up with Spinach Bob. Josiah is so funny. It's annoying. Okay, let's do Sia. Sia.
Media of the week all I've been watching is RuPaul's Drag Race like I'm not kidding I finished love is blind and I was watching oh, yeah, the love is blind reunion was crazy I want to do like a love is blind show Like you want to be on one? Yeah, like and I want to or no no I want to do like a podcast breaking it down after because I see things other people don't see and I want to start the conversations No, love is blind is lit as fuck. Um
And the reunion episode was insane. Well, my media of the week, one of the songs does come from RuPaul's Drag Race and it's Dim All The Lights by Donna Summer. That song is so fucking good. It's a shame by the Spinners and Don't Want To Break Up Again by Arianka Grundy. That's like the literally three songs I've been listening to. Arianka? Tim.
Okay, my media is sold out by Young Lean and Blade because they say Drew in it a bunch of times. They literally say Drew in it. It's actually crazy. And they say Druth and shit too. And that's the only song I'm giving y'all. Okay, Drew. We've moved media before Drew's Eye Up Corner to make them listen to media. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Potheads will tell you that they function better when they're high and then sit in silence with their mouth open drooling for two hours. I know a few people. Motherfuckers will slam heroin but tell the Wendy's drive-thru lady no tomato. That's good. Those are from Kylie. Gay son or deadly Panera lemonade?
-Okay. -Damn, fuck y'all. That killed. -That one wasn't-- -No, people love it. I'm telling you right now. Wait, what is this one? I'm sorry. Oh, this one's fucking crazy. "I'm sorry for doing this and I usually don't ask for a lot, but can someone please eat my P word like a dehydrated orangutan locked in a room with only a water bowl?"
Oh wow. That's equivalent to when I said that I the thing about the submarine guy that I will repeat. Oh literally that was Greer that submitted that one. Really? Yeah. Not like Greer Greer but their name is Greer. Giving a blowjob at a funeral call that top of the morning.
Think about it. Morning. Okay. Jules, shout out. Man, fuck y'all, bro. I'm never doing- The first two were really, really good. I'm never doing it again. The first two were really, really good. They were solid. Yeah, you forget about the big laughs that the first two got. Also, I repeated your boba joke yesterday. Oh, I've said that to three people. Yeah, boba is really good. Boba, boba, boba. Okay. Oh, I almost just said something. Never mind.
Well, that was the episode. Thanks, guys, for watching. Get the fuck out of my face. Seriously. Not enough thirst traps in me recently. Do I need to post more pictures or what? Like, they're, like, flopping. Or am I flopping? We might be in our, like, two-week flop arc. I think that's, like, kind of the vibe right there. Well, get it going, everyone.
I want, no, I guess I need more content of me out there. Damn it. Guys, I will post a few IG stories this week. Don't worry. I'll give you the content you need.