Have such a dope soul that people crave your vibes
57:08 Share

- Video rolling, audio rolling. - Ew.

Motherfuckers who mess up their job be like, guys, the camera's on this time. Kai's gonna start kicking the camera halfway through real quick. He's gonna start fucking shaking the goddamn ground we sit on. I did. I kicked the camera last episode. Oh, girl, we know. She was fucking shuffling and jigging around. I was all shoved into the corner. Yeah, it's just like, oh, you're wearing the shirt.

That's awesome. Yeah, I'm wearing a shirt and you got me. Yeah, not only got, I made. Created. With my bare hands. You made this? Yes, I drew it. When your reaction to it, I was like, why the fuck didn't he react properly? Because she drew that before the party. I did not know that. Yeah, I handed that shirt. I thought it was like a Hollywood Gifts thing. No. Okay, now this means even more. That's why I was like, oh, I'm getting into graphic design. Like, you bitches better like...

sheltering yourself so preparing because I'm just coming. I'm sorry and I really love it and I'm also sorry about the last episode with my huge dick hitting the truck. Now, welcome to the MyJanderCon. We haven't even said that. His tiny penis was inside of him and his balls went up into his chest and it hurt so bad that his legs started seizing. No, my huge cock hit the thing. Okay, you can't say that in the first three minutes. Me acting like we haven't really

- I feel like we've had a video like in the green for monetization for the past eight months. Like I don't even know what I'm trying to hold. - They have come after us in a very real way on YouTube. They do not fuck with us. But yeah, welcome back to AmericanCinercom. We're back to the basics, just India and I and Kai. - Today I want to talk about- - I got a bunch of notes. - Okay. - Just wanted to say that before I forgot.

Well, then you start. Okay. Have such a dope soul that people crave your vibe. Where were we that someone said that? And you literally go, I need to write that. We were at Barbie's and Ben said it. And I was like, oh, I'm saying that on the podcast. Because that was one of the most important things ever said online in general, like,

It really shifted the way I think about everything forever. That is true. I do agree with that. Have such a dope soul. Like, okay, it's like, it's giving like, there's layers to it. It's like, have such a dope soul, like dope heroin, like have such a dope soul craving heroin. Like there's levels to this shit. Mine is be such an overstimulationist.

stimulating evil diabolical mean evil sick and twisted person that's literally everybody who watches this podcast that's what they think of me they're commenting it right now they're like yes yes that thing I think she's a bitch it's like oh my god you read my mind guys Inya is a sweetheart it's all a character but sometimes it's real but like it's mostly a character

No, I am such an overstimulating soul that people fear my vibe. Yeah. That's what I am. Fear your energy. I'm like so... What did you say yesterday? You said something like people are like a...

Oh, it was you talking about how you have negative Riz. You were like, I have negative fucking Riz. Well, Inya does have negative Riz. We'll get into that later. Yeah, I over-talk crazy. Maybe we'll get into it. But you were saying something about people being afraid of your energy, but I don't remember what it was. I'm trying to remember. I think it was because I went to that party and I was interacting with people. And when I was interacting, I was like,

I think I might scare people a little bit, but not because I'm like, again, I don't think I'm like, no one meets me and is like this fucking aggressive, crazy person. I just will like start talking and,

and going in and i don't like i have a hard time filtering my humor like my sense of humor yeah it's the same across the board for everybody yeah i give like the same to everybody so for people who are maybe more introverted i think my leg is shaking in like the craziest way well it's because my overstimulating vibe is shaking your soul it's also because like most people see like pretty girl and think oh like she's gonna be quiet which is the way it should be like girl shouldn't yeah i

And then they hear you speak and they're like, oh, whoa. I think that was it. And also like, I just think I over talk in every situation. I over talk. I snitch on myself. I am just too truthful. Yeah, it's true. I'm just too me. And like when people see me, they just love me. I just have like a natural charisma that people are just like attracted to. And they just want to be close to me and be a part of my world and my universe. And I just don't let everybody in. And that's okay. Yeah, when people see you, they're like, thank God.

I never got a nose hair trimmer because my body is doing what it's supposed to do with these nose hairs and it's blocking out the bacteria and stench coming from your body. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, that's kind of the vibe. No, that's not the vibe. I don't stink, so. So, you gotcha. Me, when we were leaving yesterday, you literally go,

go well Tavia and Matt are just gonna have to like deal with my stench or was it when we were going to their crib I went to their house and I like for some fucking reason I was like odorous that day like a stinky boy and I like showered I couldn't it was just it was just my body overproducing like sweat or some shit I don't fucking know what the hell was going on and I reeked and I went to their house and I was just like fuck it like

their homies like they can smell me i don't give a fuck i didn't smell you all night though so i don't think you suck we also were eating big mac tacos so i don't know if it was like it's not that deep to smell people um but back to people seeing me in public uh they're afraid for different reasons because i give like the killer energy when yeah you do like it's really i'm like a really because you are silent when we're out so like you're the silent killer yeah but no like get a drink of me and i'm like the life of the

party you have not had a drink for like two years like yeah that's true no guys i don't think y'all really understand i have been taking drinking very not drinking very seriously since this video came out i mean we could drive him to the hospital no i'm not going to the hospital we could just drive to the hospital it wouldn't cost four thousand dollars

The thing is, Mason last night was literally throwing up, like, four times in a row. We did take him to the hospital. So I'm like, why do we have to take Drew to the hospital? Look at him. He's way worse than Mason. This is, like, Project X. Yeah, I know. What if this is, like... At this... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really... That was really traumatic for me. And, like, I turned green. Like, you can't continue after that. Yeah, I think there is a certain point. I mean, like...

I feel like also with age, everyone in our group is just like, dude, I had two drinks and then I felt like shit. But yeah, do you want to get into our beige flags? Because we kind of went... We almost went over our red flags last episode, but we didn't really have any prepared, so I couldn't think off the top of my head. When you asked me for beige flags, the things I was thinking of, I was like, oh no, this is fully a red flag. It's not a beige flag. I know, I just wrote them down anyways because I was like, what the fuck does even beige flag mean? I know it's a mix between red and...

in green, which you get beige when you mix those two colors together. I bet you didn't know that. Color theory, hello, I studied it in college. I went to RISD in Brown. It was a really tough schedule when I was in college. - You went to RISD? - Yeah, R-I-S-D. It's like this really like, it's like this art program at Brown University. It's really hard actually. It's really difficult actually because like

Can you get to the damn point? Like, fuck. I don't even know what the fuck. What are your beige flags? Damn, leave me the fuck alone. Hello. Like, I'm alive and well. I'm not kidding. Like, I looked at my phone to look at my list and then I heard you were still talking about, like, color theory and I couldn't believe it. Okay, so my beige flags are...

This is so stupid. I don't want to do this. I decided after I told you write yours down because I want to do them. Because it's all things everybody already knows about me except for this one. I sleep with my phone at full volume because in the middle of the night if I get a call it means someone is dying and I need to answer it. So all night long my notifications are going off because I'm very popular.

I will say you do get, you use that damn phone. Like you do use that phone to communicate. People communicate with me. No, you communicate with people. Drew is like in 18 group chats, like talking to people, like keeping up with people. I'm not kidding. Like it would be like, it is a shocker when I have a notification when I wake up. And I'm not even saying that because I'm like, I'm so alone, whatever. It's genuinely just like,

I actually don't like texting people and talking to people over the phone and it bothers me and I put everybody on like mute who texts me. What the fuck is that?

I don't like using my phone. No, it's a really big contention point between India and I. Because I'll text her when she's away. And then it will literally be like 36 texts before she gets back to me. And it's really sad, actually. Sometimes I'm like, damn. It's just like I...

like i like if i'm opening my phone there's like so many other things to stimulate myself with i don't want to talk like this is my enrichment time this is like my no like no real people on this thing it was so lit we came back from something and i was like oh like thank god i get to come home and be on my fucking phone and be on my like tummy time like we went to like this spot where you can't use your phone and we were there for four hours and then when we got home it was literally so fun

Yeah, we went to this restaurant where they lock your phone up. Yeah, we can't talk about it. We literally can't talk about it. It was really crazy. We saw a bunch of famous people twerking. It was really demonic. And jerking off. Okay, what's your base flag? I did one, you do one? Mine is...

Mine is this is so annoying, but I unironically need my coffee. And that's a beige flag because for like some people who cares. But then when you get to traveling with me and staying with me for long periods of time, now I'm better at it. Like now I've moved my life around where like I travel with like a little coffee maker thing. Which is psychotic and not normal. But I took care of it. So it's not a flag anymore. It used to be like...

Like if we were traveling, Inya would have to take us to a coffee shop before we started our day at all. And we would spend an hour and a half finding coffee for Inya. And wait, that's a documentary, Finding Coffee. Wait, no, what is it? Finding something. I don't know. Finding Alaska? Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah, the John Green. Finding Coffee? Yeah. Yeah, like Finding Coffee would not be good. Okay, well...

Oh, it's looking for Alaska. And I'm going to kill myself. Okay. I'll be waiting. Wow. He ate with this cover. No, he literally did. Uh, but someone gets a blow job in that, in that book. Is that real? Yeah. I don't remember that. I, I'm pretty sure it's real because I remember reading it in like seventh grade and I was like, cause I was assigned it and I, and all of a sudden somebody's like getting their dick sucked. And I was like, okay, Mirakami. Um,

I open Red Bulls and use them as air fresheners. That was another one. It's just all shit that I already said before. I say that's a beige flag because I like to have my space smelling good, but that's weird behavior. What was it? Repeat it again. Red Bull air freshener. Yeah, that is really fucking weird. And that's probably just a red flag. Yeah, that's fully a red flag. You're like trying to fucking start mold growth in your partner's car or something. Like that's a red flag. That's not what I'm trying to do.

Um, cool. Well, mine, my other one is that I'm a germaphobe, which also like doesn't seem like it would be a problem. But I do find it a problem in my relationships because it always gets to the like point where I don't like morning breath and I don't want to kiss somebody before they brush their teeth. Like I just find it really disgusting. And I'm like, why would I do that? And that's always a big thing. It's like, oh, my God, like.

I don't say anything about your morning breath. And I'm like, okay, bitch, like, you can if you want. Like, it's fucking gross. Like, I don't want to fucking kiss you if you don't brush your teeth. It's nasty. Like, you slept with your mouth open all night. I have a cat. You had feces air in your fucking mouth. Like, don't. No, I'm not doing that. But you have feces air in your mouth. Yeah, but I'm not going over to kiss whoever I'm, like, fucking on. Like, I don't do that. I'm like, I'm going to brush my teeth and then I'll do that. But, yeah, it's things like that. It does annoy any partner I ever have. Like, my little...

My little things that I'm like... I'm like pretty...

I'm like, no, you're dirty to me. Like, I find you very dirty. You need to shower, which is really annoying. I'm sure it's so annoying to hear from a partner, like being told as like a grown ass adult, like, are you going to shower? Yeah. Like that is really annoying. It is pretty probably. Which like, that's why it's a beige flag that turned into a red flag because you just don't think anything of it at first because you're like, oh my God, this girl is so awesome. And then you're like, oh my God, this girl is actually fucking insane. And it's keeping track of when I clean myself. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like, I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like, I miss the taste. Right.

Why is scarlet fever still a thing? What is that? Scarlet fever? The rash thing? The thing that that girl wore on her chest because she was a slag. A total fucking slag. Oh my god. Or it's a fucking slag. No, okay. I don't know what scarlet fever is by definition, but it literally sounds like something that only is supposed to happen in a Sofia Coppola movie. Is it just like toxic blood syndrome? Like septic blood?

It's a really small amount of powder. People get it. Scarlet fever is the most common in children 5 to 15 years old. A bacteria illness that develops in some people who have strep throat. Red rash on face, neck, trunk. What the fuck is a trunk? Arms and legs. So you just like get covered in a rash. And it's usually from having a sore throat. You end up getting scarlet fever. But they need to change the fucking name of that. Because literally why do we still have something that's scarlet fever? Dude, scarlet fever is so cockhead. Like cockhead. That's not how you...

pronounce it's cockhead like the fashion catholicism cockhead cock c-o-c-k-e-t-t-e no no yeah that's not how it's spelled okay then spell it you're just projecting the kind of things you enjoy onto like a word that i enjoy cock hello look at me hello yeah also um

We need to put Shane Dawson in court. Oh, yeah. He ruined an entire generation with those goddamn conspiracy videos. He was the genesis of people thinking, believing in conspiracy theories were okay. It's his fault. Like, Shane Dawson really freaks me out.

so high and we were watching his video like his conspiracy video and I don't know like something about him like he doesn't he is my conspiracy my conspiracy theory is that he is not real that's my conspiracy that he's not a real person and like also why is he in that same ass shirt like I need to know about the shirt my conspiracy theory is like that he re-bought the shirt like and then ripped it yeah I know like no that

That's my thing is like, did he repurchase that shirt or did he save that shirt from those videos? He definitely saved it 100%. And he was like, this is memorabilia. Like I was creating the best content of my life. Oh my God, he probably felt like a God when he took it out of the vault. He was like taking it out of like a stinky moth smelling bin of clothing. And it was like, I wish he filmed that because you know he would have edited it crazy. He probably did. The craziest thing about Shane Dawson is like,

When he was releasing those long-form video series in the beginning, it was an event. It was like, oh my God, we're about to sit down and watch this for an hour, and then we're going to get another one the next day, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It was huge. You would sit down with your homies and watch it. Now, looking back on all those videos, we were so excited to watch them.

They're really bizarre. Like it's really really interesting actually. The thing is like I think we were watching it and still kind of poking fun at it. Like the whole him going into that damn Chuck E Cheese for that fucking pizza will never not be the funniest thing on the planet. But it was like a moment and it was so crazy like how big of a moment it was. Because when you look at the views on those videos they were like Mr. Beast size videos. Yeah they're massive.

But now it's just like, okay, like, I guess also after everything happened, it was just like, oh. And now we have Mr. Beast, which is Mr. Beast in his flop era. Like, kind of. He's a little bit. He's only getting like 100 million views instead of 300 million. Which is literally so pathetic. YouTube in general is in their flop era right now. It's really crazy. We're the only thing keeping YouTube alive. Wait.

Mr. Beast did ages 1 to 100 fight for $500,000. So we literally have to watch this. When did this come out? Nine days ago. Oh, what the fuck? Why didn't I know about it? 105 million. Views? Yeah, views. Oh my fucking God. I cannot believe that, dude. That's really crazy. That's like the most watched thing ever, period. Like, ever. Wait, let's see what his most popular video is. Also, I hate that. Oh my God. Stop. What is it? What is it? What is it?

The squid game video had a billion views. That's so cool. Squid game. Dude, that video of Josiah. I was just about to say that. Help.

Help, I'm in the squid game. I think I'm in the squid game. I'm trapped in the squid game. Dude, that is literally so fucking funny. Josiah mentioned squid game to me the other day. He was like, what if I came home? Like, do you know how crazy it would be if I came home? Like, to y'all's house one night, him saying home. If I came home and like, I look at your nightstand and I just saw the card. Wow. And I was like, okay. Okay.

What would we do then? Since I like leave for like three weeks at a time. You go perform in Squid Game? Yeah, I would win. You're really bad with money. You have to like get your debt back. Okay, wow. Now you're just like being like calling me out. Well, I think I would win Squid Game. No, you wouldn't.

Yes, I would. I would, as Lana has said, fuck my way up to the top. I would have sex with everybody. Oh, wait, that is a good method. I guess, wait, there was a character who tried to do that and it literally didn't work out. Everybody was like, ew, you're a slut. Do you remember that? Yeah. She was trying to like fuck on like the... I mean, just... Spoiler alert, guys. I know the show just came out. Sluts in general, man. You know what I mean? Like, it's freaking crazy. Well, I have a note about...

um koalas and i'm about to go on like a very very long and real tangent about koalas like i don't know if y'all know anything about them but they are fucking monsters they're evil disgusting like nasty fucking vile creatures like you're like

They're literally like a bear like they're really cute when you look at them, but the second they open their mouths like oh my god They're scary as fuck just like look up a picture of a quality like a look up scary ever seen a koala with its mouth open Yeah, and for good reason because the photographers are like, oh we can't post this is ruining the illusion. Yeah, really bizarre and horrifying Yeah, that's it that's the one that I saw and I was like, oh wow like oh, but he knew he might be like melted by fires though, I

that first one no he's just wet oh okay just making sure um making sure we're not about to share a picture of like a burnt animal yeah um but uh the oh the mouth open is crazy that's what people say about me though yeah for real but when i but in a good way i'm like damn when she opens her mouth it's crazy um

These are fucking disgusting. Kabbalahs are nasty AF. Okay, so first, they are smooth-brained, which, like, normally brains are, like, of intelligent creatures and mammals and animals in general. Like, their brains are...

creased and wavy to create like more surface area for like I think it's neurons to form or some shit like that just like more surface area to make your brain like better yeah

And that's red flag number one. Red flag number two is... Wait, red flag is that they have smooth brains? Yes, because... I low-key might have a brain that's like over time smoothing out. No, no, you're good. No, I think so. But they're so fucking stupid and smooth brain that if you put them in a room full...

full of the only, which is another thing I'll touch on, the only thing they can eat, which is fucking eucalyptus, which is so fucking stupid and toxic and dumb. Like why the fuck they, but if you put them in a room, I'm like actually getting angry. They're so stupid. But if you put them in a room full of eucalyptus picked off the branch, just like viable food for them, they will not eat it because they're smooth, dumb fucking brains will not recognize that that's edible to them. And they will starve to death in a room full of food.

Two, the only thing they can eat is... That's me if someone put me in a room full of meatloaf. Yeah, for real, you'd die. Because I would just let myself fucking die off and eat fucking meatloaf, bitch. But the next thing is their teeth. Like, you know, like, rodent... Like, eucalyptus is, like, very toxic. Like, they're not supposed to be eating it. So they have, like, ironclad stomachs that, like, barely fucking digest it. And when they're fucking babies, this is the craziest thing you'll ever hear. When they're babies...

How the fuck do you know all this shit? Why do you know all this shit? I learn things. This is what you use your iPhone for. It's like insane. I learn. But babies, they get milk, but the milk is only from eucalyptus juice, basically. So it's really not very nutritious at all. But when they're weaning off of milk to eucalyptus, because it's the only fucking thing they can eat, the moms, or since the babies can't digest it because it's really fibrous and toxic, they're

The only way they can get nutrition is from literally sucking diarrhea juice out of their mother's ass. And it's enough nutrition for them just to get by. Not joking. It's the craziest fucking thing ever. And yeah, I could go way longer, but I've already talked about it for like four minutes and I'm done. But like they're awful, awful creatures. And they all have syphilis. No, like how did you... Like was there like a TikTok series of someone talking about them? Or did you... Okay. Because I was like, did you like...

seek this information out after the fact yeah so instead of learning the one fact you're like i need more i need to know everything well yeah i think they're like kind of gross but also every singer on the planet who's gone to australia takes a picture with a koala so like yeah and they all get syphilis i need to start my singing career so that like for some reason there's just a picture of me with a koala like is there actually a picture of every famous person with a koala because that's like what i think

I'd imagine so. If you go to Australia... I'd imagine when you get off the airplane, they're just there and they're like, all right, time for your fucking picture, bitch. Get ready. You get syphilis immediately from them. Well, I've decided that the most annoying part about living isn't...

Dying isn't the annoying part. It's that when I die, I don't get to keep up with gossip. Things will keep going. Jokes will keep going without me. And evolving. Yeah, and evolving. And also, it genuinely is annoying me because I was just thinking about my funeral the other night. And I was like, damn, it is actually annoying. I won't be there. You might be there. It is the one party about me I won't be at. Yeah, true. Let's get real. Funerals are fucking possible.

fucking party that's what i that's what i their celebrations of life hello yeah they're literally parties we went um or sorry what the fuck we need to when i die world tour my body across stuff me full of fucking sand and wood chips and travel me around the world i always said that that's like my one dying wish is i need a world tour of my body like you

you know like i'm just gonna be honest with you that's not gonna happen because that's it's gonna take a lot of money and work and i don't want to use my bank account oh true true yeah okay that's what i don't want my money going to anybody but my world tour funeral fund well what if you have kids i want to be like princess whatever or not princess what's her fucking name the queen of england like and everybody well no one's gonna be on the streets babe

Oh, witches will be losing their minds when they die. I don't know that necessarily in trophs of people will people be like running out into the street, like falling to their knees being like, true, Phyllis. Clip this. Clip this. When I die, watch. The masses will rise. The Judaism girlies will pop out. It'll happen. Because the truth has spread in like a very real and diabolical way. Like it's really like actually kind of getting dangerous and out of hand at this point. You know what?

else is annoying? I know when I die, some fucking cunt bitch is going to be like, good, I fucking hate her. That's so annoying. And you know what's annoying? I would probably make the same fucking joke. So I can't even be mad. I literally can't be mad. But it's not a joke. For them, it's a real thing. There's real hatred there because they're fucking losers. Literally losers. No life. No bitches. No money. No swag. The swag that they got is...

all on their bed in a pile of dirty fucking clothes because they're depressed.

Oh, no, but it is like coming from a real place because like our iPhones have just turned people into imagery. So then it's like easy for them to be like this girl like good. She's dead. But yeah, I just know that when I die, like it's not going to be like there will not be a parade inside my city. Like it's not going to be that vibe. Like when I die, it's not going to be like as dramatic as I want it to be. And the ripples aren't going to go that far. It's just gonna be like, damn. Life truly is suffering.

Oh my God. Wait. Did you just... Life is suffering. Wow. Well, I mean, like, that's like a really harsh take on it though. So I like... Because I haven't heard anyone say that. So I'm just like... No one said that. Yeah, hello. Right here. No. The Buddha said that. Right, right. Oh.

Oh, also, if anybody wants to donate me some of their discharge, because I just got a really nice dab rib. She's been doing discharge dabs. So I'm just going to start doing like discharge dabs. But mine aren't like viscous enough right now. I think I got to fuck with my pH a little bit. And then my discharge will be like thick enough. Put a hot Cheeto up there. Don't eat it. Put it up there. Yeah, just let it like kind of. Do you think a hot Cheeto over time would just disintegrate in a hole like that? Yeah, it's acidic in there. It's not alkaline at all. Ew.

like imagine pulling it out and it's just kind of like a stringy like left corn chip kyle walked into the house today and was like oh it fucking stinks like weed in here we were like we just i was just about to say it's because of all the discharge stabs and this has been doing yeah i like can't stop and then sometimes when it's not weed it's literally just no it's just discharge yeah it's like weird it's weird that it gives off the same scent as weed

which I wouldn't have ever expected, but I'm no chemist, so I can't really explain it. It just does smell like... We never ever talked about the girl who got into a car crash listening to Emergency Intercom. Yeah. This girl was listening to Emergency Intercom, and we probably screamed in the fucking mic or some shit, and she swerved and got into a big-ass car crash. She's alive and fine. She's a couple bruises, but... Her car's... Oh, wait, no. Wait, wait. I thought you were talking about the girl who a deer...

ran into her car because this isn't the first time somebody got into a car accident there really is like a trend line forming like every six months someone gets in a car crash listening to us so you just don't listen to us in the car i think honestly also when people like here's my new thing so i know a lot of people over time they just like start to get bored of podcasts and they maybe just start to get bored of us and i understand it and i don't take it offense but think about me and stop being fucking selfish you're being a fucking prick

- Just put it on in the background. - Yeah, put me on double speed and go to sleep with your iPhone charging next to your head and let it like do the thing that pregnant ladies do with their babies where they just like play Mozart around the baby. Do that with emergency intercom but to yourself. - Yeah, you don't even have to listen. You don't even have to listen. - Yeah, just like think about me and like what I have going on in my life. - Everything I've fucking given to you, it's crazy. - Wait, I'm really trying to find this fucking TikTok. - And you're gonna do this to me now?

And then on top of that, a girl made emergency intercom themed nails. - Oh, the nails are really good. - Which is so fucking swag. - I need to get my nails done so bad, they're disgusting. - I have like screenshots of them somewhere. - Of the nails or the car? - Of the car and the nails. So I have like her profile that we can look up. I bet if you look up emergency intercom car crash. - Oh, I got it. Okay, it's songs now banned from my car and why? And it was emergency intercom. And she said rear ended someone while putting volume on blast.

It was a cute car too. She got a gorgeous little bruise on her eye from it though. I'm assuming she hit the steering wheel, which really sucks. But it's like gorgeous hues, gorgeous hues, gorgeous, gorgeous gowns. That's like a pretty fucking color. Okay, I have this game that I want to play. It's reading grinder messages and I'm the blue line and you're the yellow line. One to top. Is your profile image your mugshot? Yes, it is. I was acquitted.

acquitted of resist delay obstruct it's a matter of public record um out of courtesy why use that as your profile image good lighting and clear skin that's the fucking killer because all of those answers were like chat gbt yep okay next one hey

Good Friday morning. Okay, I'm the killer in this one. Jesus, that's a lot. Question mark. Tops don't use exclamation points. You're probably not even a top. Don't use exclamation point again. Bottoms only want brooding guys not happy or excited. Learn how this works. Did you smoke meth in my bathroom? Question mark. No, I don't smoke meth. I smoked crack in your bathroom. That's not better. Oh, yeah. Oh, then an ugly ass fucking koala.

And then I saved a picture. You know, the whole trend right now where it's like you leaked blah, blah, blah. Like and it's like the math test or something. And then I leaked. It's like a slideshow. First slides you leaked. Second slide is the math test.

third slide is i leaked fourth slide is like how to make cocaine or like a how they stole a bunch of your timeline is fucking insane like i don't know what you're talking about well i have an ingredient and recipe for how to make cocaine can you make that i guess like someone's got to be making it it doesn't just like pop up exactly wow i mean it is just i mean honestly like gasoline and coco really

What happened? Coca leaves. It's weird that you have to use gas. Gasoline? Yeah, they like concentrate it through gas or something. Calcium oxide, baking soda, hydrochloric acid. And I'm not going to say anything else. Yeah, I'm like, don't give off like this video is fucking disgusting. Also, the Marina song playing. Say it.

That's actually really impressive. It's actually so sick. We have to throw that on the screen. But the Marina song playing in the background is literally so fucking funny. Yeah, it's iconic AF as fuck. I think we should talk about you having negative riz. Well, okay, I don't actually have negative riz. And also, like... We don't have to get into specifics. We really don't have to get into specifics, but...

Actually, there's not much to say. It's just negative Riz. And I have a lot of Riz. Okay, our Riz is probably the exact fucking same, except I talk and you don't. Yeah, I just don't need to use my Riz. I talk too much and you like barely talk. I remember when people like when the youngins were talking about Riz for the first time, I was like, what the fuck is Riz? Like it took me so long to fully understand what Riz was. And I was like, this is not something that's going to fucking catch on.

I was like, Riz, Jizz, it's too close, it's not. But it's fully a thing. And it reminds me of when I was first learning what a hashtag was when I was seven. And my sister and Madeline were explaining to me what a hashtag was for literally hours. And I really genuinely could not comprehend this.

like could not comprehend what it was at all. And the only reason I learned what it was, was like years later when my brain was like a little more developed, like I figured like finally put the pieces together, but like same thing. When I was first learning about Riz, I was like, what the fuck is this? And why,

I don't understand. Like negative Riz, bro has no Riz. Like that gives no context because you just kind of have to like figure it out over time. I just understood those kinds of things immediately because I'm really good at understanding and listening and like- Get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich. We are in the fucking kitchen. Oh, that actually brings me to my next topic. So-

- As women, we need to stop learning because all the blood is rushing to our brains and leaving our ovaries. And we have to remember that at the end of it, you need to have a baby. So stop learning, stop ingesting knowledge because you're using all that blood for your brain, but you might pass away and die because none of the blood is pumping to your ovaries. - Same for men kinda, 'cause you get boners.

People with too big of wieners, like too long of boners, sometimes pass out because the blood that needed to give you an erection is so much that they literally faint and they can't get erections. I unironically think that big wiener culture is so fucking disgusting and I genuinely find big wieners disgusting. You are a fucking grotesque animal. You need to be put down. You are a danger to society that is uncomfortable and

unnecessary. Actually. I genuinely feel bad for your sex partners. Like, no, unnecessary. Cut it. Cut it.

it which is actually fucked up as I'm saying that I'm realizing that those people do exist and they are probably watching this but like that's just how I feel like it's nasty like we watched that cut video where they were like talking about how big like everyone's wiener was it was like guess the size of like everybody's like wiener and that dude had like a humongous fucking dong and it was disgusting like did you say they should be like put to death yeah I'm watching you like take my joke and like destroy it

You know what's annoying, Kai? This is my joke. Yeah, so I guess I should be put to death. I just fucking died. Also, I didn't say put to death. I said cut it. You did say put to death before. Oh, I did? Yeah. And then you said cut it because I was waiting for you to say it again because I was like, oh, it's going to be even better if I don't have to ask it. Yeah. Yeah, that's the vibe. I have a giant fucking wing. I think I have to go to Abbey Road soon. Oh, really? Yeah.

I got a casting call for Abbey Road. Yeah, I'm going to the Abbey Road to get on the yellow submarine. Oh, wow. Inya was listening to Paul George yesterday and fucking what? George Harrison?

i he just said two first names that's a basketball player paul george um and he was okay who the fuck is naming their kid paul george a lit ass person because he was after the year 1995 no if your name is paul listening i'm sorry it's not like i i guarantee if you were born with a name paul you do not go by paul until you're 48 years old what is what is paul short for

like what do you i mean what do you say philanthropy philanthropy yeah paul and i don't know what the fuck was i saying oh uh and he was listening to george harrison and why am i saying this half the time i speak i'm literally just like what the fuck am i saying like i'm literally trying to fill the void like there's nothing for me to say anymore yeah i always just say too much and then when the answers don't come directly back i'm

And then I'm remembering that I said 18 things to one person and their brain probably works the way a normal brain works where you can't start three separate conversations with a single person and have them answer everyone. Do you know what I'm talking about? That's also why I don't like texting is because like I talk too much for texting. So I'm one of those people who sends like 18 texts all being different thoughts. And then I'm embarrassed and offended when the person doesn't reply to every single thought. And I'm like, why?

"Wow, I guess the things I say mean nothing about you." - I do that where I text like a wall of text, which is such a bad habit because everything I say in those 18 texts could just be condensed down into one text. But I like am so excited to get these thoughts across that I like send them separately. And I'm guaranteed that's a relatable experience for someone out there. But it's a really bad habit.

I've been sending audio messages on Instagram and via text. It's so easy to send audio messages. Yeah, but then like, do you ever feel like you just send too long of one? Because I end an audio message and I'm looking down and it's 45 seconds. And I said what I needed to say in the first five seconds, but then just kept holding my finger down because I like hearing my own voice. Yep.

so then i just talk and what's fucked up is i won't even listen back to an audio message before i send it because i'm like oh that's too much to listen to and that's me sending it so i know when people receive it they're like bitch fuck you i don't want to hear your audio message also someone was fighting on the street outside of our window last night or outside of my window and i literally freaked out um because we finally we i tell this story all the fucking time about the home invasion and like

I don't know if we ever really told the story about like the kids screaming on the street and then those sus people, but like we retold all those stories recently. And of course that happened the night that we said that. - That we're talking about it. - I don't know if I ever- - 'Cause if you hear no evil, speak no evil, you will see no evil. - Yeah, I don't think people really understand how fucking traumatized I was from all of those events. Like I literally could not sleep alone in the house

or in my bedroom, period. Like if Enya was home, I would have to go sleep in her bed. And it was like that for literally months. Like it was so scary. And any sound I heard- It was so nice though, because I got to know your body in a way that I maybe wouldn't have ever. So in a way, I'm thankful for the intruder for letting me touch you. The body exploring part was a plus. It's gross.

What? That's gross. Me when I'm talking about you? You're mad because y'all have never spent the whole night together. Because you get used and abused and tossed out the front door, but I get the whole night. I get 12 hours. He lets me chill for like... For like 30 minutes to clean. He's like, hey, pick up all your shit. And like, you don't even let him shower, do you? Yeah, he's like, go home and shower. I don't know, so...

Max has like three minutes. However long a SZA song is how long I get after. And then he kicks me out. He plays The Weeknd and then you have to get out before it's over or the attack comes. The Weeknd is a scary, scary vibe. A really, really scary vibe. Oh, the man. I thought you meant the song. I was like, I guess it is scary being like a side character.

Oh, I literally just put those two pieces together. The weekend. Wait, why is she talking about the weekend in that? No, she doesn't mean the artist. She means like the literal, like the end of the week, like the weekend.

Like you get nine to five, I get like the weekend, like two days. Yeah. The weekend is a really awful vibe and I don't really want to go into it any more than I have to. But really just like I saw some shit today that actually scarred me for life and made me very uncomfortable. Yeah. I think a lot of America can say that. Yeah. It's been...

It was a very rancid, weird... Wait, but why do you get 9 to 5 and I get the weekend? You get 9 to 5 on the weekend. No, it's I'm the weekend. Like, hello. We... The Try Guy drama. Oh. Yeah. I think enough time. So, okay, so this thing happened. So this thing happened recently. No, it happened like two days ago, didn't it? Yes. Yes.

Yes, it happened two days ago. No, enough time has passed that we can like... We don't like talking about pop culture things because I just don't like doing that. It's like I don't know that I care to like give in my public opinion. But enough time has passed that this is literally hilarious to me. Yeah, like have you... The world's reaction to a man cheating...

was the craziest overreaction i've ever seen one like and i don't give a fuck if this is an unpopular opinion because i literally don't care um because aren't they still together like we should have listened to the person that was cheated on if she's okay like yeah i wonder i don't i actually don't know don't know how it ended but them firing him because of that

was crazy actually no wait i'm thinking about it a little bit more oh my god he's literal well because it's because he like had sex with an employee that part is like very that makes sense i i i don't know i just thought like the whole thing was hilarious oh my god he literally hasn't posted since then imagine your last post being admitting that you cheated

Bitch. And never coming back. You would have to literally, like, hold me upside down above fucking piranhas to get me to say that shit. And I'd still be like, dunk me. I don't go fuck. Like, dunk me. Yeah, eat my hair. Dunk challenge. Squid Game's challenge. But yeah, that shit, um...

Dude, the internet is literally just so funny. Like, it's just funny. Yeah, the hysteria of Vince. The hysteria over a man cheating on his wife, which is literally something that happens all the fucking time. Your parents cheated on each other. Also, especially, like, the biggest thing, I've said this before, like, yeah, your parents probably have cheated on each other. But I've said this before, the biggest thing is when somebody is too keen on being, like,

I oh I love my partner like I love my fucking wife I love my wife I love my wife you're cheating you're literally cheating because why the fuck are you saying that all the time like you don't have to prove it to me like go like get her flowers or something and shut the fuck up like because if he wanted to he would exactly if he wanted to he would genuinely though do not settle if he wanted to no but like genuinely if he wanted to he would and that like shit resonates with me heavily

If he wanted to, yeah, okay. If she wanted to, he would. You're still not fully getting it. Yeah, you're still not, like, getting there all the way. It's like... If he wanted to, she would. I mean, if you wanted to, you would. Because also, like, you're supposed to do stuff for her. Girls aren't supposed to do stuff for boys in their relationship. Yeah.

I should just be tweeted like a queen without trying. Tweeted like a little queen. I'm literally a queen. That's fucked up. That came out by accident, but I knew you would make fun of me, so I tried to keep it going. Wait, that wasn't... You said tweeted? Yeah, I said tweeted. Oh my god.

whatever we did like a queen i thought you were joking you should have just let me rock with it because i would have no i just like i'm not a fucking liar like you so i don't just like fake yeah i don't give a fuck lying is literally a blood estate sales aren't real also estate sales are actually really fucked up like okay two things one they're not real because i only see them on tiktok i think estate sales are a figment of imagination that was created for tiktok exactly you're weird why the fuck are you stalking dead people's houses two in an estate

estate sale happening at your fucking house and some random 20 year old going into your house and buying something for a quarter of your perceived value of it and being like oh my god I just got a steal and it's because this bitch is dead like that's fucked up don't let

anybody have my shit when I die put that shit in a storage unit and like pay it off until I have no more fucking money and then in like 8 million years when the fucking defenders of like the fucking Apple Pro goggles like go and find that shit because they have to just start burning everything in real life because you're all in a fucking VR world then you can have my shit

Oh, VR world. Yeah, when everybody is, like, the defenders of, like, the world that's still here, and they're like, no, we need to preserve this, but they're trying to burn everything. Let them burn my shit! Yeah, I think it is, like, kind of a parasitic vibe, but, like, also, like, sometimes people just don't want to look at their dead partners or families, like, artifacts. I mean, I also, I say all that, but I will be finding an estate sale. Yeah, no, all of those videos, that one thing, the one and only thing they taught me about them was that I need to go. Like, that's...

I want to go. Also, I need a Frank Lloyd Wright home like so fucking bad. I just gave them the sauce. Frank Lloyd Wright. Da, da, da, da, da, da.

That's a song. How has only five minutes passed since I looked at that thing? It feels like it's been like 10 years. This is crazy fucking boots. Well, we're doing a 45 minute episode. We're back to it, especially because y'all got a two hour episode last week. And didn't give a fuck about it.

I didn't even see one fucking comment. Also, I think next episode I'll be high as fuck. So stay tuned for that. Oh, yeah. We want to do a high episode. I'm considering getting high with you guys. But I really think it would be scary for y'all. Like it would... Y'all would see a side of me that I don't know y'all are prepared to see.

Because like of what weed does to me, it's not chill. Really not chill. You think, oh, that was not chill. You falling out. That would have not been chill.

-I don't know why that is so funny to you. -I know, I, like, I feel bad bringing it up because I do think you hate it, but it's literally-- -No, I don't hate it. I hate what you think the reason why I was doing a second accent. -Dude, well, it's because, like, that's just the way me and Josiah perceive it. That's what makes it so funny because, like, we know you well enough that we've never seen you react like that. It's like this clip from Field Trip. If you know Field Trip, you're lit. -Oh, if you know, you know. -Yeah, if you know, you know. But from Field Trip, it's like a series me, Drew, and Josie did, and

In the farm episode, Drew was like doing pickup footage for like just like the self to cam. Also, they are stealing that ad since. Sorry. Oh, yeah. I mean, well, it's like probably $20 a month. Girl, those videos have views. Shut the fuck up.

um but no i think we own that account anyway um actually no we should like run after them for that money um oh uh what was i saying anyway drew goes to film himself opens the door falls and like it's like whoa that would not have been chill and then reenacted it was like whoa i tried to like

I've ever seen you do it. It's literally so funny. And then when I was really high though, then I thought of it. I think it just doesn't translate on camera that like when I watch it, it just isn't as funny as you and Josiah think it is, but it's because y'all got to experience. Cause we saw it firsthand. It's literally like, it felt like because you were recording, you were like, Oh, how do I make this like a bit? But like, you can't make it a bit. You literally actually almost fell the

fuck out of that trailer and then the guy who ran the farm came like a second later in the midst of you like recollecting your thoughts and you got so scared of like him knocking at the door also what's so funny is then knowing that i left to go stay in that hotel room and you and josiah seriously were freaking the fuck out about staying on the property yeah it was scary as fuck in the middle of nowhere yeah couldn't be me i would not have been scared but

Did me and Josiah end up sleeping there or did we go to a hotel as well? We came to the hotel. I think so, yeah. Yeah, we ended up going to the hotel. Because you were terrified. Yeah, it was bullshit, bro. It was fucking horseshit. They were so pissed about that. They were like, bro, just stay on the farms. Save us fucking money. Whoa, that would not have been chill. But that's the tea of it all. Save those notes for next week. Yeah, I know. Let's get into some media.

I watched the new Spider-Man movie and dare I say, no, not even dare I say, it is a masterpiece. And I know I say that about every single movie I see and I talk about on here, but

Movie shit starts doing sponsored posts on your pages because you're being so real when you say that. And they should just get the bang for their buck. I guess you do it for free though so they don't have to pay you. No one has to pay Drew to say that the movie was the best movie ever because he simply will just say it. Exactly. It was literally so fucking good. It was so fun and exciting and fresh and new. And it was just a whole vibe that I craved.

I crave your vibe. But yeah, that fucking movie, go watch it. Like, yesterday. Go watch it, like, yesterday. And then for some music...

1B63436969C31BDFB21B4992227. And it goes on a little bit longer by Told. Oh, you're being real. Wow. And that's the only song y'all get. And listen to it in a very dark, senseless room. And just kind of vibe out. It's a really good vibe.

Mine is El Alma Que Te Trajo by Arca and Safety Trance. Cockiness by Rihanna, still one of the best songs ever made. ♪ Suck my cock, cronet ♪ Oh, wait, cock cat. ♪ Suck my cock, cat, lick my persuasion ♪ I'm Making Love by Treaty, which I think I said last week. And then still All Things Must Pass by George Harrison. I've just been listening to that album every time I get in the car.

Guys, I have good news. I'm not going to smoke cigarettes anymore. That was a lie. On the 14th of this month, I'm stopping vaping for good. It's for my mom's birthday. I love you, mother. And I want to be alive and not have lung cancer. So I'm doing this for you. Also, we have merch coming out soon. Yes. Oh my God, that's really soon. It's like in less than a month. Yeah, we're...

- Well, thank you guys so much for watching. I hope you have a blessed day. - Blessed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done as earth as it is on heaven.