Gypsy Rose Met Us
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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon, spend less, smile more. I like don't know why I don't trust you with that thing around me. Girl, you are not fucking anyone's wife.

No, I am the wife that is fucked. Period. I'm ran through. Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Not welcome back. Welcome to Emergency Intercom. Welcome back to this episode because you're probably revisiting it because you're obsessed with me. Exactly.

I'm giving them like an upskirt shot right now. I know. Low key, your freaking junk is going to fall out. So we've come to the conclusion of who's who in the challengers. Yeah. I think Kai has a take on it too. Okay. I want to hear. But wait, before we go, let's preface. So if you have not seen it, challengers just listen. Yeah. Do whatever. But yeah,

There was a lot of conversation around me and Yankai and who's who in Challengers. And I feel like we all have different takes on it, but I'm curious to hear everyone's and then I'll say mine. Well, I think it was interesting because at first everyone was like, oh, Enya's Tashi, just because like the girl.

-Then people thought about it and they were like, "Oh, but Drew's manipulative." -Yes, I'm evil. I'm a little wicked. -Also brings out the best in people through very horrible tactics and ways. He's the most ran through. People are saying-- -Oh. -Oh. -Well-- -I don't think anybody's really-- -No one is saying that I'm ran through. -Oh. Let me check my notes. Oh, okay.

You collected notes who said that you didn't like take detail of who said that that's my job Well, whoever said that you're fucking done. I'm gonna find you bitch. Don't say that about my boyfriend. A lot of people said that it had 10,000 likes no, well and when he can't get it done So in his pad and your arch or art I think that I am art no Kai is the tennis racket. I

I'm the churro. Yeah, wait. Because I get ate up. No, I, okay. Because you're sweet and spicy. Churros are not spicy. But I'm bad for it. No, no, no, no, we got to go back. So churros aren't spicy. You're just basically saying ketchup isn't spicy. Literally. Okay. I feel like in this moment, it's only correct that I...

don't demean y'all's culture. Okay. And I can understand that from your upbringing. Have you ever had a slice of pizza? The red sauce on it is hella spicy. It hurts my tongue. The red sauce. It hurts my tongue. Okay, go ahead. The final thing I was going to say is I am art because I seek love and I'm not getting it. And I validate you. And you're mad annoying. And I'm annoying as fuck.

but my body goes crazy yeah but body body is body is tea yeah body is absolutely haircut haircut is tea yeah haircut and body is tea yeah um and i am patrick because i'm conniving and i want to have fun and i don't give a fuck and you're never no the real tea is is you were never in the wrong in the first place like we were together kai came in broke us up i got with kai sounds

- Sounding like real life. - Yeah, real as fuck, real as fuck. - This is getting a little too real. - I think I'm, in my opinion, I'm all three of them in different ways. - Okay, so you're trying to see how you can center yourself in every situation. - Drew's the ball getting passed around. - Yeah, literally. - I agree, well Patrick also smokes cigs, right? - Me as fuck. - Yeah, that's you. - And you got brown hair.

And you're like a little rodent that wished to be a man. What the fuck are we talking about? And you just have brown eyes. I actually think he has blue eyes. I saw the greatest review on Letterboxd, and it was like Art and Patrick are like if two mice wish to be human. And that physically altered like... The way I viewed them. The way I saw everything. But they're sexy hot, and I don't give a fuck. I want to fuck a little mouse. Hey. Oh, whoa. Okay, we're going to...

I don't think you should say that. Why? Why would you? That's like bestiality. Oh, wait. I've never told this story. I'm like, speaking of bestiality, there's a movie by the director's name is like fucking Mal. Your mama's vagina. I'm waiting for you to say something to me. Yolanda. No, no. You know what I'm looking for. Don't play with me. You interrupted me. What do you want? What do you think I want to hear? I'm sorry. I love you. Look at me.

I'm sorry I love you you're not looking at me you're looking around I love you I'm sorry no maybe sometimes I look at you there and I'm like I love you say it to my face y'all can't see but I can do this awesome thing where I move only one eye Andrew swears he can do it but he literally can't I swear I can you can't every time you do it you just cross your eyes wait hold on look I have a video I have a video of it

No, we had a video of you trying to do it and you couldn't do it. I can't roll my eyes either when I try.

Oh, okay. Anyway, so we were like going, I was like going on a trip and I was like, oh damn, I want something to watch on the plane. So I was looking through my watch list and I was high as fuck and I was looking through it and I just like saw the cover and the cover just has this director's name really big. And I like from the small like little box of it on my iPhone, I read it as fucking animal. So I looked up fucking animal movie. Bitch.

The search, like what it gave you back. I'm not kidding. I never like, I literally was like shaking. I was like, Oh, Oh, Oh, like on my iPad, like trying to like delete it. And I was like, Oh my,

And I passed on the airplane of the brightest fucking thing And I was like moving its stuff around bitch her name was fucking Amal like a mal but from the little box That's I thought it was out of the box

again but yeah that was my embarrassing story of me not clicking on something and looking at the because that's not even the title of the movie I didn't know the title of the movie and I was just like oh just look up the director I'm sure like the movie will come up bitch a lot actually way too much stuff like that literally I mean it's literally illegal I can't believe I can actually google that and see it like yeah so if I end up

Not showing up for our next few episodes You set that up perfectly because once you get caught you can use this as evidence and be like look like I was I didn't do it Yeah, I didn't contact me links. Don't fucking play with me bitch. Okay guys something like Absolutely massive groundbreaking earth-shattering. Oh, yeah, just break the table. Absolutely. Please please something absolutely earth-shattering groundbreaking happened and

And it's hard for me to talk about because the world doesn't know yet. But I met, we met our idol. Wow. We met. I almost forgot. We literally did something so big and so huge. And we met Gypsy Rose. Yeah. Insert clip and video here and picture whatever. Mm-hmm. Wow. Wow.

I can't believe it finally happened. No, like literally that is manifestation. Like in its purest form, like literally from the genesis of this podcast, I was saying I want Gypsy Rose as a guest. She needs to be on here. I need to meet her in some capacity. And it finally fucking happened. Shout out whatever the people that organized it. What's her name? Jada? Emily. Emily.

Jada, Emily. No, Jada is actually Jada is the girl from the company who likes our podcast. But she couldn't make it out. But Emily was there to like introduce us to Gypsy. Yeah. And we had like a moment with her on the side and it was pretty crazy and it was very surreal and it was kind of freaky and so many emotions I felt. But ultimately, I

It was very magical. And she's a sweetheart. And she's cunty and blonde. And she knows her fucking poses. My bitch pose is nasty. Literally, we got live photos. And me and Drew were moving around. And she literally was like... Light as a feather, stiff as a board. We'll insert the live photo. She was not moving from that fucking pose. It felt like when RuPaul's on stage facing the spotlight. And everybody's talking to him. And he's like... Not looking at anybody. Not looking away from the light. I'm talking to Drew. I'm like...

Your competition left us wanting more. Like that's what he does. But that's what Gypsy was doing. And it was so good. She was actually so nice. I wish we got more time to talk to her. But also I didn't want to be one of the like million people who were like harping and like breathing down her neck. We had a moment to like off the record, quote unquote, like have a conversation with her.

But we opted out because she was having a ciggy and like she had been going, going, going since she landed in L.A. And we were like, girl, we want to give her like some fucking space to breathe because she's been like doing panels, interviews, carpets.

and then she had to talk to our dumb asses which is like always overstimulating which we made her laugh like she was laughing her ass off of us I know when she was first meeting us she was like who the fuck are these people like why did y'all bring them because we were literally the only like people from our like

career there like I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing I don't know if people said everybody else opted out because they're like yeah I don't know I don't know um but I know Brooke and Tana apparently yeah they FaceTimed her FaceTimed her and I bet they were just on tour and they couldn't make it yeah because um

Yeah, I'm like, there's no world in which we're the only people. Yeah, but it was awesome. And she was probably like, who are these people? Like, what did y'all do to me? Y'all are watering down my image. Like, get them away from me. But little did she know that we can make a girl laugh. I know. We were making her crack up. And then we filmed our little TikTok with her. And then we parted ways. And I wish we got to speak to her more. I literally just wanted to ask about, like, personality.

her vibes. I wanted to be like, what do you do with your free time? Like, I'm actually so curious. But I actually don't think she's had any free time. Since? Post. Did you just hear my stomach? Oh my god.

That was your stomach? Yeah, that was my stomach. Oh, I thought that was a motorcycle. You sound like a helicopter flying over. Yeah, I'm about to shit myself, guys. But I wish we had more free time with her. And I wish I smoked a cigarette with her. And I told somebody on her team, I was like, they were like, oh yeah, she's going to take a smoke break in a second. So when she does, you guys are free to go talk to her. And I was like, oh, I want to give her one of my Korean cigarettes. And they were like,

make sure it has nothing but cigarette on it because she literally can't have anything else like she has to report back to people don't fucking give her some shit and in my head I was like damn and then I was like oh wait oh she's literally on parole it was it was very surreal um and I had a bunch of questions lined up but ultimately decided to not ask them um because I did not want to put her in a weird position um and

and oh what was it what was it there was it the rose toy there was the rose toy and then um oh i so long ass time ago on twitter um i posted a side-by-side photo of me and gypsy and i did my smile and we looked the exact fucking same like when my face was still twinkified like i could like get into character and get into gypsy and i was gonna show her that but i was like

Actually, no. This is from a really dark, dark, dark time in her life. I'm not going to put her through that. This is her big day.

and yeah that was anyway she became obsessed with us asked for a number and she like won't stop texting i know she's like all she was begging to be on the podcast yeah she was like please put me on please like i like can like catch up with your vibe like it'll be a vibe i actually don't foresee like meeting her i was like oh you are so normal like i already knew that i already knew she was going to be like a very normal like 32 year old like just like your average like ceo and boss ass like fucking

32 year old like she was in that damn ass blazer she was getting her fucking pick the damn ass blazer like one thing about a 30 something year old woman is she's gonna have that fucking blazer on like she's gonna put that fucking blazer on cause she's a working girl yeah she's like she gotta show them she means business um but she was like so normal that I can't actually imagine her on the podcast it would be really bad for her it would literally be like would you ever wear thrifted clothes like hell

Or it would be like when we get in situations with introverted people. And never, ever, ever put us into a situation. Rule number one, don't put us into a situation.

Like, that's it. Anytime we're, like, around an introverted person, I just find myself, like, literally bombarding them with my, like, extroverted tendencies because I can't tell if they're uncomfortable around me. And I think I just make them more uncomfortable, but they always call me back. They're like, that's Hank. I saw this, like, what were you going to say? I was just going to say we are literally sending the clowns by. No, it's...

By Coco. No, wait. Grace Jones. It is crazy. When we get invited to parties in L.A., we do not fit in at all. It's like the craziest cast ever. And then they bring us in and we're literally the clowns. They bring us in because we're like. We're comedic relief. Like for real, for real.

For real. It's actually insane. We get on the dance floor and dance and then everybody follows. Are we not wrong, Kai? You're right. That's actually one of the first things you said to me when I first met you. Really? Yeah. You're like, I feel like when I'm at these parties, I just feel like it's sending the clowns vibes. I've never forgot that. That because that was like the peak era of that, too. That's when we were really going to parties and we started to realize we were like,

because every time after those parties, people would be like, you were so funny and fun or whatever. And then after a while, we were like, I wasn't making that many jokes. What the fuck was so funny? I was existing in my typical outfit. Bitch, I was just chilling. What's so funny? The fuck? They're like, you were so funny last night. And I was just like drunk and dancing and being silly. And I'm like,

I did not crack a single joke to you. I didn't speak to you all night, so how the fuck do you know? How do you know? But yeah, I saw this TikTok psychiatrist talking about people with ADHD.

And I went and looked it up afterwards because I was like, I can't ever trust a bitch on TikTok anymore. Me when I trust every bitch on TikTok. Literally, the amount of misinformation... I learned something today. The amount of misinformation is alarming and I fall for it every time. And I'm so happy that only a select few of y'all say shit. Because if everybody called me out for the amount of times I spread misinformation on here, it would be over for me. So keep it that way. How about that? But the...

TikTok psychiatrist was talking about people with ADHD and how like we communicate and converse. And oh,

oh my god she read us to fucking i don't like that like it was it was horrifying i was like oh my god i just got it from drew so there's probably misinformation even in that yeah literally so she was basically talking about like when like you're talking to someone with adhd or when she's talking to someone who has undiagnosed adhd or she knows like the the one way she can know for certain that the

something is going on in their fucking brain is that if you're telling a story to them and they reciprocate with a related experience or like they reciprocate with like oh well this happened to me and blah blah blah blah blah and then they start going on a tangent about it and like

it scared the fuck out of me because that's literally how we talk to each other and how we talk to everyone in our life. And I was like reading the comments and all of the comments were like, yeah, like it makes me feel slighted. It makes me feel weird when people do that. And I was like,

Like, oh my God, like, do I put people in uncomfortable positions because I'm like dominating the conversation? And I was like, bitch, I literally don't give a fuck because you're boring anyways. Like your story was fucking boring and I'm relating to your experience and I'm trying to make you feel comfortable and better. Like suck my nuts.

from the back. Okay, that's the thing. I immediately went into defense mode where I was like, no, but like, okay, so like, the reason I do it is, and as I was doing that, I realized, oh yeah, I am somebody who does that and it can be annoying. But I would like to think that

one the people we do it to bitch you got adhd too because we're just telling stories back and forth like when i think of any conversation i have with my friends it's like this happened this happened no this happened this happened this happened this happened and i always just saw as a form of like we're like we're catching up like we're catching up like i'm getting like we're getting our intel back together we're getting things in line and then from there it could be stupid shit like look at my iphone like look what's on my iphone also like

why do you need the floor you fucking narcissist like let us share this moment together like you need to like be on your fucking soapbox like talking your shit like no it actually kind of scared me because it's made me question my idea of communication because i always felt that that was a proper way of communicating and building community is relating and i don't think like i don't

I don't think we're wrong. I think we can do whatever the fuck we wanted to because we're all going to die soon. There are big earthquakes coming, y'all. And Yellowstone is going to pop the fuck off and cover the cloud in a mile of ash or cover the sky in a mile of ash and all of our veggies are going to die. Can I just say something? I feel like something big is not going to come for the first time in a while.

Feel very safe. I feel very optimistic about my future and I feel like nothing bad You know what I'm gonna push back on that and say that nothing bad's gonna happen to me, okay I'm gonna push back on you and you don't talk to me like you're gonna push back on him push what back on him because my ass between me and you and between me and you not between y'all Why are you making about you?

Yeah, babe. I'm Zendaya. Like, what are we talking about? And I look like her and I give outfits that look like hers. Like, we are like fashion girls. Insert a picture of the way Drew's jeans fall on his fucking feet. I can't with these jeans anymore. Bruh, he looks sloofa as fuck. Like, he literally, like, Drew's feet recently have looked like the sound that, like, Spongebob's, like, that Squidward's feet make. Wait, we need to edit that. I can't see your...

You trying to allude that there's more space in this kitchen than like 3x4 feet? We want to take a break for today's sponsor Shopify. Shockingly enough, we finally have a merch drop upcoming and that wouldn't be possible without Shopify. I know when people look at us, they think we're geniuses and it's like, oh my god, they must have a degree in science, in computer science and like they're so smart and I bet when they get on a computer, they know how to code.

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But no, I'm giving Zendaya outfits constantly. No, those fucking jeans, y'all. I'm telling you. One of the greatest fashion icons of our generation right now. You're like, that's kind of my vibe. Wait, did you see that she did the hat thing now that you guys have the hat? Exactly. That's crazy. Exactly. That's insane that she... She copied us. Yeah. She took that from us. No, you guys are remembering that. We got the hat because of her. I don't know. I don't know.

Damn, that's how you know you're a fashion icon when literally even you're like what people perceive as like your busted fit bitches are like, I'm going to get that though. No, see my whole arc like I'm about to go down is Zendaya twin era. The pictures of her like in her twin, like what happened to Zendaya's twin? That's the real conversation that we need to be having. Like, where did she, where did she go? Yeah.

Oh my god, that literally, oh my god, that freaked me out. That moment, and yeah, I'm like actually having a connection with it. I feel like we're in a movie right now. What's up? I feel like we're literally like in, like, everybody's looking at me. Stop. Y'all need to fucking stop looking at me. What? What movie are we in? Nothing. I'm literally going to have an actual psychotic break. I'm going to have a psychotic break. Okay, do you want me to just keep talking? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll talk you through this. Wait, what were we saying before we told you that your life is going to be awful? Oh, we were talking about communication. Right, okay.

How do you communicate, Kai? No, I genuinely have been having this thought where I've been talking to people. Right, right, right. Okay, yeah. I've been having the same fucking thought, period. Like, me too, me too. No, I had that thought so long ago, though. Like, I was thinking that for a while. I seriously, in the last, like, six months, I've been like, I need to respond to this person not with my own story and tangent. And I need to, like, ask them questions and, like, get outside of my own fucking head. Because I do the same shit. Yeah. And I was like, you

You guys are talking about it. I'm like, I don't think I have ADHD, but...

But I don't know. I think like it can be confused because I do think there are appropriate times to do it. But for the most part, I feel like when I think about moments, especially if somebody is having going through something emotionally based or like traumatic or whatever, I will bring up scenarios not and I won't go into extreme detail, but I will throw in and be like, try to like help them like grieve this like situation or go through emotionally and then randomly thrown and be like,

I throw it in as a like well don't feel bad about it or don't be hard on yourself about that because I've also had that and like it will pass blah blah blah blah and I don't go like oh yeah well blah blah blah and me and me and me I feel like I just throw it in as a touching base so people don't feel like embarrassed or yeah alone like yeah alone I think there's like healthy ways to do it because I'll notice I'll do it sometimes and it feels good I'm like oh this is like a pure use of it and then other times that I'm like

Not in a good mental state. I'll do it for like more narcissistic reasons and I'll just be like very self-centered and

But like I do feel like you could do it both ways where you're relating to the person with a direct experience a corollary experience and it's like it's helpful. Like if somebody says oh like I like I smashed into someone's car whatever whatever what am I supposed to say damn you smashed into their car. Yeah damn that's crazy or I'm sorry. Yeah. I hope you have insurance. That's crazy. Like no I'm going to be like well when I was 15 I got into a hit and run. Hitting them. Not a person. Not a person.

that part no hitting them with the the 38th damn that's crazy and they're still not catching the hint i'm like damn no that is literally crazy you're fucking crazy you are are crazy the 38th damn that's crazy damn home damn damn but yeah i will continue to do that i guess but i don't know i feel like i have people in my life who didn't fuck with that they would oh my god oh my god kai hasn't been eating sugar and he just sniffed a marshmallow

He's been sniffing marshmallows and sugar. Yeah, and Drew doesn't want me to be happy. He's trying to knock me out of ketosis by trying to get me to eat sweets. I offer him a sweet every single time I see him because I'm like, everybody needs a little more sweet and sugar in their life. But then I was like, oh, wait, I am that too, Kai. Kai doesn't need the supplement sugar because I am his sugar bae. Like, I'm everything he needs. Yeah.

I was saying while Kai's asleep at night, he thinks he's in ketosis, but I've been macro dosing him with sugar in his sleep by just sprinkling a little on his lips. Some nerds clusters. Dude, you eating a nerds cluster right now would implode you. Ew, like a bird. I would explode if I ate one of those right now. When's the last time you had sugar? I had sugar...

Two and a half weeks ago, and I'm losing my mind. I just don't, like, there's no world in which I would keep myself from sugar. Y'all have too much of a key. There's something actually happening, and I'm scared. No, Challengers changed us. We were saying that, like, something really shifted in our brains. Well, I think that's wrong. But I'm straight. And I'm sad my friends won't be meeting me in heaven. We're going to heaven. That's what you think. I know.

What if I turned into that kind of person and was like, I'm just sad I'm not going to see you guys. Girl, no, you literally are that person. You put on a facade for the podcast. Let's talk about it. No, I was telling Kai we need to bring back homophobia for real, like, in a big way. I wasn't saying that. Kai was saying all that. No, Kai was saying that.

was saying that he did come inside and he was like oh my god like I was just so homophobic out there you don't want to know what happened it felt so good he was like it feels good to just be me to be free you know that you know that audio on tiktok that's like oh I'm finally me again I haven't felt like this in ages that was Kai when he came and Kai inferred the who you are

As being casually homophobic, period. Oh, yeah. No, I walked into the apartment and made everyone feel safe as fuck. And I was like, oh, how's everyone doing? Is everyone comfortable? That is true, yeah. Does anyone want water? I really do agree with you, though. Like, I actually think you are in a very secure place in your life, in a very safe place, and nothing bad is going to happen to you. Right? Okay, can we please just go back to that? Yeah, just touch on that briefly. Do you not look at me and you're like, that person is going to be okay forever? I'm like that person is so bad.

Yeah, happy physically, mentally, and spiritually. No sugar, so happy. So happy. No, you do. You have been in a really good mood. Right? Yeah, everything's going to be fine. Are you cooking? Oh, it was slowly lighting the house on fire. Bitch, you just cooked all the fucking germs in my bowl.

Oh, the algae. My algae, my baby. There's a candle. For the audio listeners, there's a candle underneath Drew's like explosive glowing algae cooking it slowly. No, they're definitely boiled. Bitch, you just made shrimp. You just boiled some shrimp. They're cooked. You're telling me a shrimp fried, you're telling me a candle fried these shrimp? Candle fried rice. Candle fried shrimp.

Okay. I told you. I told you. That I told you. I already told you. Like a Boston soldier that I told you. Already told you. I hate that when I see that shirt, that's what I think of. And that's like some random rhyme Josiah made up because his user on Fortnite is Pom Pom Soldier. And I was like, what the fuck is Pom Pom Soldier? He's like, like...

cheerleader for the Boston soldiers I was like what are you talking about he's like like a pom-pom soldier that I told you already told you like a Boston soldier and I was like literally what the fuck are you talking about and that rhyme has never left my head and every time I read this shirt I think like that I told you already told you and that's what I think of when I see the shirt now which is sad because also I

wearing that shirt out in public not enough people gave me compliments not enough people were looking at me and being like oh my god i love that movie you're so amazing how many people gave you compliments so maybe you focus on the positive one oh that's not enough that's not that's not close i thought it was gonna be like seven no it should have been i wanted at least three i wanted to be stopped in the street and be like oh my god not only are you sexy enough to be in that movie

But I love that movie and you're making me as horny as that movie made me. And why did Loewe say this in the gift card they gave me? It said, why are you so horny? When I opened my box. What? They literally did. I'll show you. When I opened my order, look at what it said. What? What the hell? Yeah, they're over. Loewe, it's over. I made that happen. And it said, do you want to leave a gift card? And then I wanted to post it on ID so people thought that Loewe said that to me.

Well, I've decided that camping is like the weirdest thing we decided to do as humans. Like it makes a lot of sense. Grimes eating spaghetti and being homeless for three months. It's like the same fucking vibe. No, literally. It's like, why did we like evolutionize into having like running hot water on command, like food in a fridge that can be safe and kept well so that you don't die from like bacterial disease. And then we got all that and we were like,

Damn, but I low-key miss sleeping outside. Like, I want to do that instead. Also, I've been seeing videos of- Wait, do people inject botulism in their skin? Like, wait, I know Botox and shit, but like, hold on. Wait, what? Like, can you get botulism from injections? Botulism injections. That's it. It clocked it. Botulism injections. Oh my god. Botox is botulism.

Wait, what is botulism, bitch? The shit that's like inside of the fucking canned foods and like the shit. Yeah, I know the term, but I'm like, what does botulism do? Botulism kills like millions of people a year and like,

During like wartime and shit, they were like getting botulism and literally shitting out their intestines. Oh yeah, it's like localized though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, but what? They like weaponized it. Like, what does Botox have to do with that? Because it's like the thing that paralyzes parts of you, but on command versus like chronically. Yeah, it is.

That's fucking crazy. Why do you even think of that? I don't even know. I've like I connected like dots in my head. I was like botulism. And I probably already knew that somehow. And then it just like all came together at once. But I never really actually thought about it because I always thought it was like snake venom or some shit. But like or spider toxin. Have you ever thought of getting Botox? Yeah, but like you should.

But what was I saying? Oh, camping. I've been watching weird ass videos of girls. Whoa, whoa, no, no, no, no, no. What do I need done? I'm just saying you need some baby Botox. Where? Forehead, cheeks, smile lines. Maybe we could get you some filler in your cheekbones.

Don't you look at my fucking massagers and not say that my biggest insecurity is my fucking jaw. No, because I was going to say you should get jaw filler. And then I was like, no, if you got jaw filler, it'd be really scary. It'd be more gourded out. Y'all know. I want massager. Okay.

What? I was going to say, you talk about your face all the time, but you have a really good face shape. It's literally just like you have a good face. You do. You have such a strong jaw. And that's what he wants. And that's why you can't say anything to him. Oh, yeah. Because that's what he wants. He wants you to be like, no, you're gorgeous. So he can literally knock his head forward and be like, oh, my God. That's some 4D chess Toshi shit. Yeah. You have a great jaw, dude. Thank you. No, I actually genuinely am like genuinely insecure by this. And I want masseter Botox, but I know I'd be the bitch that got a fucking injection and my jaw just goes lopsided. Anyway.

I've been seeing these girls who go camping and I need to fucking find the video. Y'all are going too far because it went from going to wanting to sleep outside, which I get. Like, I also want to shit in a hole outside. Like, it sounds fucking fun. But these bitches are going into a capacity that I don't understand. Oh, well, I'm crazy because I want to shit in a hole. No, no. I don't know what Kai is laughing at. I just literally existing and Kai started laughing. Is that a Range Rover? I don't know what the fuck it is.

like is this fake did they have like a fake she's jacking someone else's swag by the way I don't give a she's a girl she could do that girls get to steal this is literally when I got my car this is what I wanted to do I'm not kidding like I want she goes too far basically like all that for one night like it's crazy a projector you're doing far too much

Like far too fucking much, bitch. If I went camping and I saw this bitch's setup, I would literally go like stab holes into the tent. It's giving fake rain and it's giving those like, what's it called?

those like TikTok channels that like clean the house because their boyfriend got home and it's like them unboxing packages and putting things everywhere. It's giving like one of those ads. Or it's like that channel that was acting like it was just two guys with their hands making full fucking houses in the woods and then it turns out that like some guy was just funding. There's a full production. Yeah, there's like a huge construction. You didn't know about that? No, I didn't know about that. Kai, it was outed that they had like

like cranes and like 20 people working on these projects at once like the whole thing was fake from the beginning and then like there was probably one real one but even that one turned out to be really fucking icky because the dude was just like forcing these like indigenous people to like do manual labor and they were making millions and millions of dollars and literally not paying them at

all and just keeping all of the money to themselves and they probably didn't even know what fucking adsense or ad rev was at all like they just like took everything yeah primitive technology all of it was i would only watch those like once every six months and watch every single one of them in one yeah yeah i would become like randomly obsessed with them and watch them to fall asleep

I did notice though that the structures started to get a little crazy. They flew too close to the sun. Like David Dobrik's house. You know those YouTuber houses that are very minimal with an infinity pool? Minecraft house. It was getting dangerously close to a neon sign. Yeah, they fully crossed the suspension of belief when they had two-story buildings. I was like, okay.

I know the rock and sticks are not holding all that play up. They had literal moats with like sharks and alligators in it. Like they were going like way too hard. Me and Josh were talking about this yesterday, like how like

looking back at all the prank videos we used to watch like they're so obviously fake now but they felt so real to us in the moment like they were all just acting and we were like what is like something like like that is another example of that like those felt very real and like they did a good job but looking back we'd probably be like yeah no fucking shit no shit they didn't build that in

One day yeah and we were trying to think Of things that in the moment right now Are probably fake like what's this nuts Didn't build Rome in a day Rome wasn't built to today To today To today um you know what I just Realized actually is Kai And Inya Kai and Inya are The fake bitches that everybody's gonna look back On and be like oh they were so fucking fake but in The moment we thought we were they were real Like I'm not real or Like I'm a bitch you're fake as fuck Oh I'm not fake Kai you're Fake as fuck

You know what? I am fucking fake, but I really don't give a fuck. Thank you. That's not funny. I really don't give a shit. Actually, don't you feel like that's the new trend forecast? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the vibe. Being a horrible person. I'm so sad that you're not ahead of the curve. You usually are, so it's sad to see that at all. I'll always be good. I'll always be good, and I'll be waiting arms open for when people come back running to the good side. They're not going to come back. They don't like you anymore. No one likes you anymore. And that's okay. I'm comfortable in myself, and I love myself. You know when you go to head and you hear the voices? That's the thing.

That's all the people that don't like you. They're talking to me. They're transmitting radio frequencies. Okay, well. Really quick, I just want to shout out. I went to the Pink Panther show. I got scared you were about to do like your own ad read or something. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like I thought you were going to be like, okay, quick. I just want to shout out. Let me just do an ad read for Audible. No, I was at the Pink Panther show and. No, you weren't.

A girl came up to me who was a fan of the podcast. Yes, I was, Drew. You can't make me angry right now because I'm above you and I'm no longer playing with your little games. I didn't get angry. That didn't even affect me. She came up and she was the first clip

channel for emergency intercom oh which one was it emergency intercom or emergency intercom that's fire I don't know why I pronounced it shout out them that's fucking lit I've been seeing them like be like

Looking for us in LA and every time we do something they're out of town or some shit And I'm like one day we'll link we're like ships passing in the night one day We'll do like a link and build session with all of the go to do like when Jojo Siwa had like a bunch of fans I come listen to her album except it's y'all coming and listening to the podcast and being very unfulfilled by the experience Like just coming to like not even a live episode, but like we're just gonna play that episode and watch you watch it. I

and you're going to feel really uncomfortable and feel like you need to laugh and fake laugh. And the second we catch you fake laughing, something bad is going to happen. It's going to be over for you. We have a new account that I've been fucking loving, loving down.

It's emergency intercom meals and people submit photos of the food that they eat while watching emergency intercom. And some of y'all really need a lot of help, like a lot of help because it's fucking crazy what y'all are eating. And that's coming from me. I know you have to say the interaction you have. Yeah. So someone posted...

submitted their photo and they posted it. And it was like four cheese taquitos, two Go-Gurts, and some random fucking beverage. And I commented because I was like, I said, this one's crazy. And the account responded back saying like, hold on, let me read it verbatim. Was no one going to tell me that I have the most square head on the planet?

I don't think like I just saw myself in that. Like, I keep looking over at myself and I can't believe I look like that. And y'all let me just like sit here and look like that. Like, that's actually fucked up. You don't have a square head. Somewhat. Okay. I said normal head.

No, I have gray hair, sis. I said, this one is wild. And then someone said, girl, don't act like you don't eat Takis dipped in fucking Chipotle bowl. Dipped in Chipotle bowl. Then someone said, girl, that looks like your meal. And then someone said, the Emergency Intercom meals account said, I know you're not talking with your chemical wasteland of a stomach.

Your stomach acid should be considered a war crime. And then I responded back, ate me up, to be honest. Right, right. Oh, it's a ginger ale that they're drinking, which drinking a ginger ale off of an airplane is crazy work. I'm sorry. Like, I don't give a fuck if you're drinking an air or a fucking. Yeah, whatever.

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Wendy's last night and diet Dr. Pepper. I don't even know who the fuck drinks that diet. Dr. Pepper actually tastes like if I would, if I had water in my mouth and I had a litter box that I hadn't changed out for two weeks and I lifted it up and took a smell of a moment.

ammonia right before I swallowed my water. That's what that tasted like. The fact that I had a burger and some chicken nuggets in my mouth and I was like, oh, I can't wait to wash down this fucking nasty ass Wendy's fucking meal with a Dr. Pepper. I was like, the Dr. Pepper will save this mouthful of fucking stinky Wendy's food.

Bitch, I almost fucking threw up because of that Dr. Pepper. It was horrific, y'all. It was horrific. I've been on a Dr. Pepper kick. I've kind of been indoctrinating Inya into the vibe a little bit. And I was like, ooh, I want a fucking Dr. Pepper. This is gonna kill. And I was drinking Orion's drink and I was like, damn, they didn't give me a Dr. Pepper. Whatever, I'll just drink this. And then...

I grabbed... Oh, Ryan grabbed a drink and I was like, oh, fuck, I've been drinking Ryan's drink. So then I was like, oh, let me grab this. Took a sip. Y'all, that shit literally, like, it was like drinking battery acid. I'm not kidding. It was like the worst flavor. It was rotten. It's rotten. Yeah, no, it was giving rotten soda. I literally could not tell if this was a real drink that people drink or if like the soda machines had like black mold that they just like didn't clean out properly and it shit out in my drink and I was just drinking mold. Like, it was...

So insane. And I'm sorry if you like Diet Dr. Pepper. Stop listening to our fucking podcast now. I want nothing to do with you. You scare me. You're dangerous. You're evil. You're wicked. I wonder if it tastes like that out of the can or if maybe it was a little rotten. I don't. I really don't. I don't even know if fucking Wendy's has Diet Dr. Pepper. Like, that's the tea. Like, I don't know where the fuck it came from. Yeah, I just took a sip of it and I assumed it was Diet Dr. Pepper because it tasted like if Dr. Pepper had, like,

Tummy tuck like there's no other way to drive it like it's it tasted like if dr Pepper had a gastric sleeve like surgery Okay, that's what the taste of that makes sense But yeah It was I thought you were looking up to see if they had it to make sure we weren't drinking rotten no They did not have it or at least not immediately. They have coke zero medium diet coke Fanta small coke drink Wait no now I need to know

No, no, they do. They do. Wait. Wait, guys. We might have had rotten fucking soda. I didn't even know soda could be rotten, though. Like, soda could be expired. Something should expire. Maybe the syrup? Like, in my head, pickles don't expire. Or something with the syrup that they put in? Okay, they do have Diet Dr. Pepper. Okay, thank God. I was, like, actually starting to panic because I was like, what the fuck did we drink last night? What were we drinking? Literally, what were we drinking? Um, all right. Well, shit.

No, I got a couple more things. We're not, you're not, you're not done with me yet. We did karaoke last night. I fucking ate. Y'all walking into that room. It was like a blend of like a couple groups. So like not everybody knew each other and we had to all get comfortable with each other being fucking fools.

And I could tell the energy was off. So I took them stage. I took the stage first. I did what I had to do. And I just like tried to ease everybody into it. But then I started thinking and I was like, oh my God, karaoke is low key a humiliation ritual. Like it was giving humiliation ritual vibes. Like we were literally like indoctrinating people into our squad. I need to stop fucking saying that damn word because I don't need it in my vocabulary. But yeah.

Yeah, squad's a bad word. Yeah, I know. I hate it so much. But I'll just read the list of songs that I did last night. So I started with My Way by Frank Sinatra. Classic. And he actually did sound good. I'll give you that. Yeah, I got an 84 on that one. They did not fuck with My Way. Your rendition. But you did it your way. But I did it my way. And then I did No Surprises by Radiohead. That was horrible.

Then we did stay the night by that. Yeah, we did me and you did a joint stay the night by Zed Then I did a joint with jester and did up by cardi B And y'all were literally this video like we have to insert the video wait. I have to look it up to show Kai And then I did Radioactive by Imagine Dragons which was a banger and then I finished off with idiot tech and that was the worst karaoke song of all time and

This is literally them. Oh, I love this video. This is a classic. Well, I decided that... What songs did you do? I don't remember. Oh, I did It's Too Late by Carole King.

which is not a really good karaoke song but i was like i'm feeling my hair so i feel like carol king so i want to do carol king um also that karaoke bar had multiple pages ripped out of the book so there was like just multiple songs that were missing also the song selection is from like 2016 to like 2018 and they haven't updated since obviously they have like classics and old songs but like

the cutoff is like maybe actually 2016. There's like no songs beyond that. But my intention with the song choices I made was to absolutely destroy the vibe and Josh was recording. And like, I wanted like it to be me like singing very seriously, like a shitty, boring song. And then everybody just like being on their fucking phone and being bored. And it

work that's the funny thing about karaoke is it feels like the one place and I think that's why it's such a good group activity where it feels so dismissive and fucked up to be on your phone like it feels really rude to get on my phone when somebody's singing because I'm like oh my god they were giving me their undivided attention I cannot be on my phone I need to like tap in

I need to cheer them on. Like dance with them. Like I need to give them all because that like, especially when you go to karaoke with like more introverted people, I feel like I become so hyper aware of their every move and I'm overanalyzing them almost to a point of like,

and I'm like, I hope I'm not making anyone insecure, but I will literally just stare at somebody while they're performing, which in my head, then I'm like, oh my God, is this too much? Like, am I giving them like too much attention and they're like getting uncomfortable because I'm looking too much? So I'll like do a mix of like looking and cheering and then like looking through the book and then being like, woo! No, I just sit on my phone the whole time and just boo people if they suck. Yeah. Like, you're fucking terrible at karaoke. Like, this is boring. You're horrible. This is like 95% of the song is just being...

Dude, it's dead silent. Everyone was talking. You can hear their voices better than me singing. Okay, well, I think I want to be in a coma, like really soon. I think that's like something I want to try out.

But no, and ironically, though, why? Because you just want to know what your brain I don't think your brain does anything. You're not dreaming. No, imagine like, okay, like you're in a coma. Like people cannot be mad at you for like not hanging out. Like you can literally we have people who would find a way. Yeah, literally, literally, you can't they can't be mad at you for not hanging out. They can't be mad at you for like missing work obligations. Like,

Like I'm in a fucking coma like what am I gonna do like challenge and I just want to disappear in a coma for two weeks and then come out and be chill. But isn't that gonna suck though because then you'll have like all this work and social work like. I'd do two months I'd literally do two to six months like would be nice. Dude but all your work would just stack up against you and then when you wake up it's not like oh okay like I have no work obligations it's then like every day like in and out you're gonna have like 18 things to do. Yeah but. Yeah.

I also think it would be like good character growth. Actually, it would be good because I could replace you really easily. Oh, wow. Fuck you. No, I was thinking we could I could be in a coma. But you know how you're like semi lucid and like you can hear the people around you. Like, I'd love to see who showed up to my bedside. Like, it would be so gaggy because I'd be like, oh, like.

They didn't come they didn't come this is tea because like I've been keeping track of who wished me happy birthday Who gives me birthday gifts like I keep fucking track. Okay, so you were fucking evil Yeah, and I will intentionally not wish someone a happy birthday if they don't wish me a happy birthday like I don't give a fuck I

I don't fucking play with. I don't know if I do that, but what I will do is like, if I'm like, fuck, I didn't wish that person a happy birthday. It does ease my anxiety. If they didn't wish me a happy birthday, like I will like go back and look to see if they did. But then if I see that they did, I'm like,

like oh my god i have to say something and then i um open up tiktok and i immediately forget and i'm like oh it didn't exist anyway like it's not that big of a deal and also like i know you in real life and you know i love you so like why do i have to say happy birthday stop playing with me exactly you know what's crazy is i i guarantee i would be the one that like sponge baits you and actually does all that shit because then you get to do it because you would want to do it i would be so excited that you were in a coma i would not sponge with you no and you would not take care of me

Like, if I was paraplegic, Inya would literally throw me to the fucking wolves. Bruh, because if you were shitting yourself, I'm not dealing with it. I swear to God, I'm not dealing with it. I'm dealing with it, and I'm celebrating it. Thank you. Thank you. You went like this with your hand, like, and I imagine you grabbing Drew's shit and, like, playing it. Oh, I saw this on TikTok. It was like, just got this in the mail. And it's this flyer, new family on...

Something road. We are the new family. The Bansons residing at blah, blah, blah road. Thank you for having us here. We ask only one thing. Please don't talk to us. We have nothing against any of you. We are just in a religion where we don't want you to talk to us. Do not approach us. Do not welcome us. Nothing wrong with our family. We just wish to stay alone. That is

literally me like that is me at the gym that is how i fell after that i was like nothing against you god bless you i hope your life is fruitful and you find joy and happiness but you will not be finding it here at my footstep like do not come up to me and we need to make one of these when we move and like give it out to people so people think i low-key think this is like an artist because i went to the comments and it was uh this is one of alan wagner's amazing works well we're gonna do that for real

We need to take the scary sound of the whip from TikTok. Y'all put like some eerie sound on Little Sir Robot. I set my school on fire. The agent. Look what this teacher made his entire class do. You are the shadow too. La carretera es tu lienzo. Today I had a girl order a hookah. Okay, so this TikTok that everyone's talking about.

The stripes and the toothpaste. How much would I pay? The thing is, this is my ideal hangout. Yeah, like sitting and rotting on the phone. My ideal hangout is me and the people I love the most sitting on our phones and not speaking to each other and then being so lazy that we send links of the TikToks and we just love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Just sitting and rotting. Because we can communicate through TikToks. Okay, well, I'm not kidding. I'm actually about to shit myself. Okay, let's do Psyop and media. Do we do Psyop first or media? Drew.

Something about doing this podcast makes me need to shit. Y'all, what if I stopped doing the podcast and I stopped shitting? Like the correlation between the two. Anyway, keep going.

I opened a can of tuna and busted out crying. I miss Inya so much, y'all. I knew it was coming. The problem is if I ever started actually smelling rank as fuck, I wouldn't even know if y'all are being for real. I would let you know. Thank you. I'm not arguing with no bitch with eczema. See you later, alligator. That's a good one.

The Teemu Vape Reverse My Cilantro Soap Gene. That's like a funny Twitter account. Beamdoll. Bema. And then this one is from Joan of Arc Instagram account. It says, challengers this, challengers that. I challenge you to go outside. Right, right. That's all I got for y'all today.

Should we let Violet come in for a positive affirmation? Yes, Violet, come here. Okay, if y'all don't know, this is our friend Violet. Violet or die on Twitch, queen. We just need some positive energy because Drew is being scary. So let's... Right? Let's just thank God for being here for another day. Only give us the nutrients of this podcast. Thank you to the people who cooked it.

And yeah, let's just lift the vibes. Let's all be positive. Let's have a great day. May is the best month of this year. So, amen.

Oh, so if you guys don't know about the domino effect, it's basically like, well, for example, like, let's say I smile, right? And yeah, look at her. She's smiling. That's a domino effect. Look now, he's smiling. See, I hate that domino effect. So if you don't know about it, get into it. It's really important to the way of life. So, yeah. Wow. Thank you. We need to hear that. Amen. Amen. This is the last true Christian on earth, by the way.

She does pray over every single meal we eat. And it's not a joke. Like, it's very real. And I love it. And every time she does it, I'm like, oh, like...

am gonna start doing that but in my head so I don't freak people out the reason we brought up the domino effect is because we were literally all together at Rain's house eating around her really nice table we all had fucking wing stop and it was stinky as fuck but we were all about to eat and then Violet was like wait wait wait we need to pray she did her prayer and then she was like she just got up and pointed she was like I think she what did you say did you did she mention the domino effect and then went on she was like

And we all need to laugh and love each other more because if you like smile at somebody it goes on and we all start laughing at her and she goes, no, because it's the domino effect. She got up and started pointing at us and like literally was going on like a huge like tangent about it and we were cracking the fuck up and it was- You just had to be there. You just had to be there. Like if you weren't there, you weren't a part of the vibe. Sorry guys, I need to go take a shit.

so everything had to stop for me because that's kind of how my life goes. You can do your little media thing all you want. You're just full of shit. Okay, let's tap into media though. Media of the week. Okay, mine is 10x.

from the challengers Trent Reznor at Kisara Drew the Light in Lana Del Rey heavy on that yeah well my only song of the week is literally just ribs by lord because that song is a fucking classic dude I fucking love that song so much oh my god oh my god oh my god

Oh wow. And fuck that hurt. That hurt so fucking bad. Oh my god, Kai! I didn't even think about Kai! My fucking god. Dude, oh my god. In your, in your, in your, in your, in your, in your, in your. Oh! Oh my god! Oh my god. Dude, it fucking.

- His bones are broken! Dude, check his fucking phone! - He's fucking smashed in here, he's fucking smashed. - Smashed, what do you mean? Oh, oh, are you checking for an insurance card? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Does he have insurance? - I got his wallet, I got his wallet, I got his wallet. - Wait, no, wait, why'd you get money from it? - Yeah. - No, Drew, come back here! Oh my fucking god, dude. Oh, we don't have, oh my god. Oh my god, we're murderers. We're literally, we were the killers this whole time. - My fucking god. - We were the killers this whole time. Oh my god. - No, no, he's alive.

And you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We gotta go. We have to go. We have to leave. We have to leave America right now. Okay. Dude, no, he's actually dead. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. Okay. Um, we can leave. No, it's fine. It's fine. We did like 100 episodes. We're like good. It's... We made enough to leave. Yeah. We made enough to leave. We'll be rich in like the rest of the two and I think.