Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. I got the last word, are you jealous? Intercom, I just got it in too. Okay, well it's not Emergency Intercom, Intercom, it's just one Intercom, so. I guess you must be, you must be hosting a different podcast this week.
- Surprise, I'm starting my own podcast. Emergency intercom intercom. - Guys, I have exciting news. So I've decided that I just don't feel right here anymore, so I've started my own venture, but don't worry, someone will be replacing me. And this still, it'll be the same.
Except I just won't be here. And that person is... Tom York from Radiohead. Oh! Why do they call it Radiohead? I'm not going to do that whole thing because it's really annoying.
And has been doing this insane Irish accent talking about Radiohead. Hot take, though. Like, why is Radiohead kind of good? I know. I feel like people always, like, make fun of it and stuff, but it's actually good music. It's actually, like, hella good. That's what I was going to say. And I feel like if you even knew good music, but, like, you're probably a stupid fucking girl, so you don't know shit about shit. Yeah. Oh, my God, Kai. We're finally getting to the point of the podcast where Kai can, like, agree with everything we say. Yeah.
You start adding without us asking, like, clapping sounds after everything. But yeah, Radiohead is, like, kind of ill. Well, why do you think they call it Radiohead? Because it's stuck in your head like a radio. Okay, no. Because it's always on the radio and it's stuck in your head. How did you get that song wrong? Because it's stuck in your head like the radio.
What do you got over there? Because I'm seeing you look through your notes, but I can't tell if you're like rubbing up your engine and trying to figure out which one to start with or like... No, I just have my notes open just so I don't like constantly grab my phone and it looks like I'm on my phone the entire hour. But...
Something. Okay, this, in my opinion, was like the real plandemic and like no one is like really talking about it, but like the cow print epidemic that happened in 2020 where all the girls had like cow print all over their walls. Like, I think, I don't know. I haven't gotten to the bottom of my theories. I do have theories and I don't know where to post them, but like.
There's some serious sinister dark sided energy there. Like I really can't explain it. Like there's some really dark energy. Is this a part of your psyop corner? Potentially. I haven't fully like verbalized the thought yet. Yeah. But yeah, there was some really darkness vibes there. Think about this because we were heading into a trend based society where nobody thought for themselves and everybody did exactly what they thought online. Just like cows, you put them into groups.
groups and you heard them in like sheep and everybody was becoming sheeple but the easiest way to turn the people into sheeple was through the cow print and guess what came after that the sherpa jackets the big sherpa jackets the girls were literally sheep yeah a little bit yeah people were like you were a part of a herd yeah well that's the crazy part of a herd while i was busy being heard oh ow yeah well the crazy thing about me is like i would never be a sheeple
Well, you have an iPhone, so you're already done. Yeah, but do most people have notes in their notes apps about collective effervescence? No. That doesn't make you like... That makes me not a sheeple. That makes you an insane person. Yeah. And I'm not going deeper into that thought because y'all both don't deserve it. I'm going to be honest. That's the best news ever.
No, okay, basically. Oh my god. Basically what it is. You know, you know I have to talk about it. You're so like, no one's, oh, I'm like, everyone's gonna fucking ignore me, fine, I'll shut up. Yeah, exactly. But like, if I did shut up. Oh, that's the thing is like, what I realize is everyone in my close life ignores the fuck out of me. I'm just like an afterthought. I'm a background character in everyone's life. I'm just kind of like this figure that's there but never addressed.
But when I go out, I am the it girl. Everyone fucking wants me, wants to talk to me, wants to be around me. It's really crazy. Drew is like the definition of like a spoiled kid who if he like lost his family in a fire would be like, fuck, they did give me attention. Like, but we're your family, not your actual family. Because your actual family isn't your family. We're your family. Because your actual family actually doesn't care about you.
That's one of my isolating tactics with my friends recently. I'm like, your real family doesn't care about you and you should depend on me like your family and I'm not going to help you the way your family would because that's not my job. It's really, really scary. But yeah, so collective effervescence. It's this idea that like the reason there's religion and shit like that is because...
It creates this community and this feeling and this energy and this vibration in the air that like when you all go to church together that you feel like you're a part of this like collected community.
collective of people in this like little community and the reason there's this girl that I was watching that like kind of theorized that like the reason why there's such a big downfall of like religion is because we're getting that community that we used to get in religion in other places like
concerts for example like you ever go to a concert like a basketball game or some shit like you ever go into a stadium with a hundred thousand other people all there to do the exact same as you or same thing as you like freak out over whatever you're fucking watching it is legitimately the greatest most addicting feeling in the world and i get why the straights love sports like it really makes a lot of sense like i went to a soccer game and like the energy in that fucking stadium was like
Unlike anything I've ever experienced before, I literally felt like Ooga Booga Primal, like fucking caveman, like banging on my chest type vibes, like fucking like...
wanting to scream for something I literally don't care about or know nothing of. - When you said that term at first, I thought you were about to go on some tangent about fucking microbiomes and shit. So I was like, damn. - I could go on. - We're stuck. No. - Well, did you know? No, did you know that microscopic beings, like little critters that we can't see are like essentially God?
Because like if evolution is real, we evolved from them. They created us. And yeah. Well, the good thing is evolution isn't real. And we were put here by God. Literally, why do I not believe in evolution? I just don't believe in anything we've ever made up. I feel like everything we've ever been told is not real. And we were just placed here and we live this same life over and over and over again to absorb our energy. That's what I'm saying. I literally don't believe in science.
And I'll end it there. I don't stand by science. Unless it's, like, medicine and stuff. Yeah, I would. Because I, like, believe that. But, like, I'm not kidding. Like, I don't care to know the science of things. Like, I just don't think I need to know it. And also, like, all these theories don't even make sense because there are so many instances where the theories don't align with some freak accident. And it's like, whoa, that should have never happened. How did that happen? It's like, yeah, bitch, because your theory is just a theory and you're bored. Like, get on your iPhone, like,
I do. Stop talking. We're what you call flat earthers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we believe the earth is flat. I don't like, it's not even like, hello, I'm looking out and it's literally not curved. Yeah. I don't see any curves. Like, it's like kind of like looking at Drew, like laying down.
Oh, in that case, it is curvy and fat and voluptuous and like really fucking sexy hot. Okay, well, the earth can't be sexy. It's just a planet. I've banged Mother Earth last night. Like I literally banged her in her volcano hole. I fingered her soil last night. Yeah, you ever put your feet in grass before? I'm not kidding. Yeah? That shit feels good. Oh. Like explain that.
no the people you having sex with her basically no the people that don't wear shoes around really like might be onto something with that yeah bitch they're on to the next like viral disease that's what they're on to like the next cut in their foot yeah they're on to like the next case of hepatitis we were we were in big sir and we went to this like river this gorge a bunch um
And when we were there, everyone had like water shoes and all the like gear they needed to hike up this fucking river to get to the waterfalls. And our dumb asses like I didn't even bring a swimsuit. So I had to wear like two layers of boxers and like my bulge was out and it was really fucking uncomfortable and weird and I hated it for like 30 seconds. And then I understood why the Speedo exists and I'm about to be I'm entering my Speedo arc.
But... I just thought of like you and a thong speedo and it really like did something to my brain that it like... Should we talk about it? You know when you throw water on a hot pan and it like sizzles out really fast? That's what the thought just did in my brain. Like it came there and then all my cells were like...
They killed themselves. The synapses in your brains offed themselves. But I really understand why water shoes exist. But at the same time, we were walking. Yeah, we were walking barefoot in this creek and river. And I already feel like my feet have gotten harder and more like viable for the earth. But after we got
out and I put my shoes on I really was like holy shit like shoes are the greatest thing we've ever invented ever period because like imagine fucking trekking on the ground like that all the time like it would hurt like it's bullshit we need to invent soft concrete I want to eat you so bad imagine walking around fearful all the time it would like hurt like and that's tea I fucking spilled like that's a crazy part you know what's crazy is like it feels
It feels nice to walk on certain concrete. Like, non-porous, like, not street... Like, sidewalk concrete feels really good on your feet. And they're good for chalk. Unless it's hot. Like, it's really good. You said they're good for chalk? Yeah, like, drawing... Like, that same level of concrete. It's like, that feels good. And, like, a driveway feels good. But it's just, like, the bare street. Asphalt is...
horrifying disgusting like it's scary as fuck yeah i love uh going to the river and not having water shoes because i like uh it feels like i'm using my body the way it was intended so that like all my like uh crevices of my feet are like landing where they should yeah i i love banging your mom and using my body the way it should be and like feeling all the crevices oh that's funny because like i know your brain chemistry and that's not the way your body's supposed to be used
I banged your mom. Okay, well, just because you do something doesn't mean you should. I was talking about that with Josiah where I was like, oh, like,
When we say your mom or I banged your mom, it doesn't mean, like, I'm banging your mom. It's literally, like, a whole other, like, entity of itself. It's like a filler sentence. Yeah, exactly. It has zero meaning, quite literally. It's just, like, us saying shit out loud. Your mom was stinky pussy doesn't actually mean your mom's, like, coochie stink. Exactly. It was like, oh, like, if I said your mom's name, it was like...
so and so like me acting like no one knows her name but if i was like pam's coochie stinks that's like that's pushing it like don't say that like that's like sorry mom my mom listens to every episode 14 times love you um but yeah like if saying that is crazy your vagina doesn't stink mom it's a vagina i mean i mean it's less about like the way you're as dry as your vagina it was so crazy
I don't know what we're talking about. I'll look it up. It's a clip of Laganja Estranja. Yeah, Laganja Estranja doing stand-up to old people. And she's like, burning so hard. Well...
How about this? Some songs are made just to be sung on American Idol and that's where it begins and ends. And You're the One by Shania Twain was made to be sung by other people on American Idol. Like, she didn't realize she was creating the Golden Ticket song.
Anybody could get on there and sing that song and the judges would like turn over. Hallelujah is giving like the same energy. Yeah, fully. Like, bitches who think they can sing and can kind of sing love singing Hallelujah. Like, put that shit to rest just like the fucking Nate Skull paint from American Horror Story for Halloween. Like, I'm like, give it up for real. So y'all, I went to Valencia where they filmed the TV show Weeds. Now, y'all, it's very dry. It's almost kind of like your vagina. Yeah.
i like i've always been like a firm believer in rupaul like that it it's never blaming on the edit like you said that blah blah blah blah but that truly was a blame it on the edit so much of that show is the room made that to fight
to fight the allegations and he thought if he made a Brockhampton ass song that it would like distract us all from the fact. Bring it on to edit. Yeah, he thought if he got bare face on a on a RuPaul song that it would distract us from the fact that that is literally the truth. Like that's the whole show. So much of the show is editing. Yeah, it's
Like, there's no way in a room of 12 of the most extroverted people everyone is that silent when someone speaks. Yeah. Like, you just can't convince me of that. But it's so awesome because I love how much they enjoy making shit silent. Yeah, the crickets are the... Like, all... Like, the silence. It's... Literally, the producers on that show are...
are like geniuses. Like a producer recently left, like a really high up executive just left Drag Race and they were saying like they worked on the last season and the new All-Star season, which they said is going to be one of the greatest seasons of All-Star Drag Race ever. But the last season, so...
Sasha wasn't supposed to win like the producers didn't want Sasha to win she just did so good that she won and it was supposed to be mistress and Anitra in the end in like the final and that's what the producers were producing towards but Sasha just like won the fan vote and like they couldn't not make her the winner she's literally she genuinely is one of the
great one of the greatest like literally ever she was so good she swept she swept like bianca it's so hard to dude is that this oh it's leaning up against this oh i thought that it was your chair it's like girl your chair is like actually cracking under your fucking butt right now
my giant fucking little lump she was ass luscious fat stinky butt that like is curvy like the earth well you know how everybody gets annoyed because they're like stop bringing back these fucking like washed up celebrities for endorsements and stuff and everybody's like everybody's playing into nostalgia everyone's playing into nostalgia stop it for like endorsements whether it be like you're seeing Paris Hilton more you're seeing Lindsay Lohan more you're seeing like all these huge names for the 2000s but
But when you think about it, it does make sense why all these companies are obsessed with bringing them back. It's not so much as like, we're cool. Like we're going to like do the cool people thing. It's literally because those are the phases you recognize from childhood. But now you are an adult with your own money. So they can just re-tap into that to make you look at the brand more because you are naturally, whether you like it or not, going to be...
curious about the fact that this person you grew up watching is now the face of a brand and you're gonna look and you're probably gonna buy because it's just that easy. Khalees was the on a billboard for Uber for milkshakes and that greened me. It was like
It was like, we'll bring the milkshake to your yard for Uber. I was like, bitch, I'm going to fucking blow y'all up. Like, get her down. Yeah, let her down. I shouldn't be up here. That's literally what I thought about her being up there. I shouldn't be up here. Well, I learned how to squirt recently, like in a really violent way. Out of your butt?
Yes. It was really violent and nasty all over the place. Oh. Wait, do you mean like poop or do you mean like a sexual squirt? Both. Oh, okay. It just happens at the same time. It's kind of like giving birth for you. Yeah. It's just like all holes erupt. Should I talk about my shit schedule recently? I feel like I should. No. Okay.
No, I'm not giving it to them. Some things I want to keep to myself. Like I think vulnerability is like a superpower, but there are some things in my life that I want to have discretion over. Like I want to be like, I want to hold that back. Yeah, one of those is like your bowel movements. Yeah, I want to hold that back. Yeah, I mean like I would say most people definitely hold that back because it's not something that's...
smiled upon to talk about publicly. We need to talk about it more because like we all do it. Wait, so do you want to normalize pooping or you want to hold discretion with pooping? Yeah, free the poop, free the poop hole. I was watching recently, oh, it was literally Shoddy Bay. Oh, she's really. They were like, uh,
Her friends, she was in LA and she was on live and her friend said something. I don't know how it got to the conversation because I was playing Fortnite and listening to her on live, which is like the craziest deal ever. And you had YouTube open on your vlogs that you watch. And so I had all my things going at once and I didn't really hear it, but I just heard her friends go, oh my God, so you're free the nipple? She goes, no, no.
no. And then she goes, more like free the cherries at this point of view. And then her friends just said nothing because they didn't understand like the joke she made. But I think she was calling her own boobs like cherries because they're small. And then her friends were just like, huh? And then it just moved on. And it was like,
shoddy bae is so lit like she is literally an icon living and like i don't think she's appreciated enough um but she is the moment the girl yeah not many girls can shut down malls like that let's just say that let's start i mean i probably could yeah like let me put me in a mall yeah i'm literally i'm actually not allowed in malls anymore because every time i go it's like it's a parade inside my city every time i go i remember that shit yeah
Right, right. Right, right. Well, I was going to say we really do need to free the nipple just for me.
Like we like the only you're allowed to show your nipples or you want to free the nipples so you can look at nipples. Exactly. Okay. Yeah. That's cause that's what I assume. I mean, like it's not that weird that I just want to play with them all the time. Um, I was laughing with Orion in the bathroom and we were laughing so hard together that I went to grab her arm and she had her arms right here. Cause she was brushing her teeth and I literally grabbed her. I went to grab her arm and my fingers went like this to her nipple and we were, yeah, that was an accident. No,
i didn't want to touch the home oh yeah you sound suspect as right now why are you grabbing her friend our friend's boobs and nipples i only wanted the nipple so that's all i grabbed if i wanted to grab the boob i would have grabbed the whole thing little sandbags yeah yeah boobs feel like concrete we know i've never touched boobs podcast made by generative ai are here prepare to be bored
What was that? Is that in your notes? Yeah, no, it was a Wired article that popped up, a notification. Oh, I was going to say, I almost literally was going to be like, bitch, why did you write the most, like, 38-year-old headline of all time? Prepare to be bored. What was I saying? Prepare to lose your mind of boredom. Yeah, I've played with a bunch of boobs before. You circling back to it makes me think you haven't played with boobs because, like, if I played with boobs, I wouldn't be, like, so...
stuck on the fact of like making that note you know you know um what's that fucking juice that the dude that broke into our house drank naked juice you know the girthiness of that that's what like the inside of a boob feels like like a naked juice why have you been inside a boob i was asking if you've touched a boob like no one's been inside well no like when you grab it you can feel it from the outside
I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore and you're probably thinking "Wow, oh my god, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads." But we're doing our job, you're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like, I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like, I miss the taste. No, deadass big things are coming. I'm gonna be sick soon, so like y'all are gonna have to take care of me. We already went over this. I'm paying someone to do that.
I'm paying someone to be on house rest with you. To take care of you from the other side of the house while I sit in my room. Oh, okay. I'll pay you guys to sponge bath. Me? Yeah. Like, you'll pay so that you can do it? I'll pay, like, two grand. Oh, he needs help already. Wait, it seems like he's... He got a lot worse all of a sudden. Oh, well, he just faints, so he's like... I soiled myself.
Okay. All right. I mean, we could pause and I'll just, I'll clean you up. Help me, Kai. Clean me. Dude, when people are like, yeah, like I've been with my partner so much. I've like changed their diapers. I would much rather kill myself. I would genuinely much rather end my life right now. So death do us part. No, bitch. Like, why would I do that? No, I'm not doing that. That is crazy. We need to do more blood ceremonies at weddings.
Who's doing a blood ceremony at a wedding? That's what I'm saying. Oh, you're saying people need to do that. Yeah, like mix their blood. Weddings are already culty enough. Weddings are weird. Weddings are weird. Let's talk about that. Getting a bunch of people from each side and it's like, girls on this side, boys on that side. These are my girls. Those are your boys. It's like playground fun for adults, but it's also giving like...
I don't know. That's all I can say about it. Like, it's such a big deal. Like, if you want to throw a party, throw a fucking party. Like, you don't have to do all that. Yeah, I do understand them, though. Like, it's like normal-pilled people just, like...
doing what they want to do and they're happier than me. So 100% that's that's all I can say about that. Like literally do what you want to do because we're all going to die in 200 years where we're forgotten. No one's going to know what the fuck happened. No one's going to remember that wedding. So like also time dilation is very fucking real. I turned 23 and I'm already 25 and like it felt like it felt like three months have passed. I did see you. Wait, are you 25 right now? No.
Wait, because I feel like I saw a clip from the podcast where you said you were 24 or 23. I am 16. You're like, you went into like reboot, like you went into like automatic response. I am 16. Here is my birth certificate. You ever seen Benchwarmers?
What? No. Oh my God. What is that? It's like one of the best movies ever. You say that about every movie you've ever seen. I say that about everything I've ever experienced ever. Which is honestly awesome, but everything Drew has ever seen, like...
partaken in or like consumed is the best thing until the next one and that's honestly a fantastic way to live your life because i crave the next experience so much more because i'm like oh wow it's gonna be the best thing i've ever experienced in my life i will say guardians of the galaxy was the best movie i've ever seen period
Not actually. I think also you sometimes confuse like good company with a good experience. Like if you see anything or do anything with the right group of people, it's the best time of your life, even if it was like the worst thing. But I do that too. Like it's like it's I think it's a reaction to like
that's why people with ADHD get addicted to certain foods and like certain, like they get hyper fixated because it's like, Oh my God, that experience was so good. I could do it again. And I do that all the time where I'm like, I have to go get this coffee or this drink or this food from this place because it was such a good time. But then by the time I get sick of it, when I think back to the first time I had it, it wasn't necessarily the thing I was having, but it was the friends I made along the way. Yeah. It's, it's like, um,
The friends I love more than they will ever love me, they actually perceive me for once, maybe even for half a second. And it just feels great. You are literally the most annoying person on the fucking planet. I'm all alone, y'all. Truly. Truly.
this thing where he keeps he literally in a room where everybody is reflecting will keep calling himself invisible but then it gets to the point where you just start ignoring him because like how many times can you be like bitch we heard you and then he just does it until you actually start ignoring him and then he's like wow
- Yeah, it's really, really crazy. No, but I literally like am an ignored being, but what we should do is show this unburned photo. - Oh, Kai, you are not ready. - This is from Big Sur. - I'm gonna preface this photo. It really is one of the most horrifying things I've seen of myself.
Ever, I think. Like, I think I am a nasty, gross person with a nasty fucking body. And it's dangerous. And this photo altered my brain chemistry forever because it is the most vile thing you will ever lay your eyes on. Do you, before you show me, do you think it's worse than the Devin pool photo? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. No questions asked. Really? You mean the one of his hair? Yeah. That one's just his hair. Yeah.
This one you get a view of every case. This one is like body. Like it's giving nasty body. I mean, what's fucking with you are seeing here, but why is it up there? All right, let me see. Oh.
Oh my god. You look like a piece of garlic. I look like a ninja turtle. Like, I've got a big fucking shell on my back. No, you look like you slipped out of your shell. You look like a piece of gum. No, it's really, really jarring. But my sunburn is, like, really bad. That does feel like it would sell for, like, $300,000, though. It's alive.
Ew, it turns me pink. Ew! Dude, we're never showing that. Ever. Oh my god. Why did that happen at the end? Oh, that looks like a scene from Prometheus or something. Yes, it literally looks like the face suckers bursting out of my body. Oh, fuck. Oh my god, bro. What's wrong with you? He just fucking passed out. Did it peel? It looks like it peeled. No, I don't know. Is it peeling yet? It hasn't peeled yet.
Oh, no, it's not too bad. No, but it actually looks like somebody fucking went at you with like a back scratcher that had like pointed tips. Back rolls. I will say your waist looks very, very small. Thank you. In that photo. Yeah. But it's literally, that's literally my worst nightmare.
What? To be small. No, but your waist is small. That's good. Thank you. Thank you. And it looks like you're... No, it's an illusion because my back is 78 inches wide and it just looks everything in its vicinity really small. Well, other people's joy makes me so upset. That's it. Oh, okay.
Yeah. And like, it's crazy because like, why does other people's joy make me upset? And it's because like, I don't want to see other people joyous because I feel like I have so much joy to catch up on. So if I know someone had a good life and they're still experiencing extreme joys, I'm like, when is your pain and suffering going to come? We need it to come faster. Like I'm about to Amazon Prime ship into your front door because I want you to experience like extreme pain and like sadness. And then it goes to sleep. That's probably why. That's probably why like, um,
don't like when other people like the music I like because I'm like you're not experiencing the same joy I'm feeling because you're perceiving this song differently than I am and like but why does that even matter like why do I hate sharing music because I hate other people being happy over the music and somebody's gonna hear this shit and be like am I the only one who hates that and you're so fucking pessimistic bitch I'm just being real like and everybody hates that like I'm like openly admitting that but that's
all the internet is all the internet is is like being envious of other people's joy like of course they're like really solid parts where that's not a thing but also obviously to a certain extent i'm joking because bitch i actually don't give a fuck what other people are up to it has nothing to do with me and i only have so much space in my brain and i consume all of it with fortnite at this point so it doesn't really matter but it is crazy like why does other people like liking the music i like bother me you have the same thing like it's like such a big thing
- What? - Drew has the same thing. - I genuinely think that was your magnum opus. I swear to God. Like I saw you enter a flow state just then. - Yeah, I don't-- - My magnum opus was my hate tangent. - Yeah.
like some of that that's like not like fully true but i was joking about that with josh yesterday we were like talking about how it's so funny how like we're just bitter people to a certain extent because why does other people why does it bother us when other people like if somebody plays a song that i showed them and they don't say that i showed them the song why am i like
Yeah, no, that's you swear. You're like, no, you swear you're better than me. Like, no, I am better than you. Like, it's crazy. And it's so funny. But other people's joy doesn't actually upset me. Also, I feel like I need to clarify that because everybody thinks I'm actually walking around with like the most hatred in my heart. But you would be happy to know that I walk around with my brain shut off.
So there's that. Yeah. And I've been getting high as fuck. So I'm just like double down on like being turned off. You go. Also, you can see if like I can immediately clock in a conversation if someone has experienced loss or not. And I just wanted to say that. Like I know I can look you in your eyes before you even say a word.
And know if you've lost someone close to you. Yeah, 100%. It's also funny because talking to anybody, you can tell if they've been through anything tumultuous because it is such... It shows... If you talk to anybody about relationships, you will know so much about their life just from the way they perceive relationships, both platonic and romantic. And it's fucking insane because it's like, damn, you...
Haven't been pushed into a corner of like solitude. Yeah, like you can see in my eyes that I lost a bunch of money in crypto like yeah You could see like that in a lot of ways not just in your eyes But I mean if you think the eyes are the one I said it as a joke I said as a joke and then you guys sorry, that's not real loss and maybe you'd hit me I mean, it's real loss cuz you feel okay One more big one Oh
I just like don't find that kind of stuff cool, you know? Like... You literally hit me last episode. Hello. Okay, but did I hit you and say, oh, that's cool? No, I was embarrassed. We literally had a whole conversation after about how it's our new normal and that it's chill. Well, it's our normal, but that doesn't make it cool, you know? Dude, that hurt my fucking hands so bad. Kai, you fucking hurt me with your face. I'm sorry. What are you going to do to repay him? Probably like give him a crazy dome. I knew you were going to say that. Ugh.
You know what's crazy is Apple has such a strong arm in the tablet society that nobody calls tablets iPads. Like, everybody calls tablets iPads, but some of y'all don't have iPads. Bitch, you have a tablet. That is not an iPad. I literally want to sell my iPad and my PC and get that Asus computer.
Oh, the one that like you can like hang from your chest? The really cool one, but I'm not saying it out loud because it's so hard to get. But like, it's basically an iPad and it's as powerful as my PC, but in an iPad form factor with...
the ability to connect to a monitor and i'm just like oh dude that would free up so much desk space like it would it would just make my life so much easier to not have that giant big ass disgusting ass pc in my room that collects dust yeah you do not use that well that's because you should be playing you should be playing fortnite on there and you would get a lot of use out of it
That's what I think. I did update Fortnite last night, so I might re-tap it. We have to play duos ranked to see if we can make it to the top.
I know that we will probably be humbled very quickly. Oh, I was humbled immediately. I was so happy off that win. I got, thank God I didn't post that. I would have been humiliated. I would have been humiliated with the rank I got the first game I played. I got silver two the first time I played. And without seeing the chart of like the rankings, I was like, damn, that's pretty good. Like getting silver, like gold is next. That's pretty awesome. Bitch.
Yeah, it's gold. Then it's like four other categories. So I was second to last. That doesn't mean like...
your game play or like how you play that's like so you have to win a bunch in a row and get a bunch of kills to go up in the rank it's not like it's not like an accumulative thing based on your like yeah because it's like has a percentage and it like goes up and up yeah yeah yeah um but i think if you if i played like the fucking greatest game of all time in the first one i probably would have landed in gold instead of silver um but i did though
No, I landed it. You had 17 kills. Yeah, I had 17 kills. And she was playing solo duos. Yeah, thank you. Thank you, guys. Like, my best game so far. 17 kills. Just, like, easy. Honestly, it's easy. Like, it's too easy. Like, the game is too fucking easy. That's why I stopped playing it. But, yeah. Let me open the notes. Let me open the notes. Okay. Ooh, this is a good one. Um...
okay this may be problematic but i genuinely believe that britney spears is green screened in and not real anymore oh you were telling me about this i haven't seen anything about yeah i there's some clips where i'm like oh that's like really really sus br britney spears filter
Um, because this specific video really, really freaked me out. So you see her hands go above her face once. Watch when they come back down. I wanted to post screenshots of the AI filter coming off so people could see for a bit longer just how insane this is. Isn't that curious? Yeah. It's like the Kim Kardashian filter glitch.
Doesn't the flowers disappear too, right? Yeah, there's flowers in the background disappearing. The tattoo I was always like iffy about. I was like, oh, that's probably just weird lighting or something. But then there's like someone did like a breakdown of...
They like recolored the image or something like UV mapped it or some shit. They made it all black and white. And the background was entirely blank. And it literally just looked like she was green screened in there. It was very curious. And then now there's like, this one's a reach in my opinion. But like all of the wedding photos that have been coming out, I'm like, girl, Madonna was there. Like, wow.
What are you talking about? Donatella was there. Donatella. I feel like everything... Donatella Versace. Everything is sketchy, but the flowers disappearing to me is like... That is very weird. Why would the flowers disappear when her arm goes over it? Yeah. It's really, really sus. I just am like so...
Like, I'm like, but then what does that-- what does that even mean? Like, what does it lead to? Does it lead to the fact that, like, people still believe that she's under-- what's it called? -A house arrest? -Yeah, not a house arrest, but it's like when her family still has control over everything. -Yeah, yeah. -Um, I wish there was just a way for her to say something, but, like, I guess, like, she could say something if she wanted to, but-- -Even if she did, it's so far down that it-- this will literally follow her till the day she actually dies, like...
Wait, so are people assuming she's like not alive? Yeah, people think she's dead and that they replaced her with like deep fake technology. And then that's like literally that's kind of like the whole theory. But I don't know. I just feel bad for her.
Because I would hate for this conversation to be had about me. But here I am. Yeah, I feel bad for her because she literally at no point has been allowed to live a normal life. What I will say is like the one part of me that makes me not believe that it's deepfake is only a person who is actually like...
her could post the way she posts on instagram like she posts on instagram in such a specific way that feels so real to her personhood that i genuinely am like there's no way her family has it down to a t like that like yeah i don't know like it's just so funny the shit she posts her instagram will always be the most interesting ever interesting thing ever and i can only see like her posting that but that shit is weird but then i'm also like i
This is just me playing devil's advocate, but you know like how sometimes when you just pause a video at any or any moment, you can look at the screen and be like, how the fuck did the camera like pick that shit up so weirdly? It could be like compression, like weird compression artifacts or something like that, which like I definitely thought about, but like also it's giving like there's so much of this shit happening constantly where I'm just kind of like,
Okay, something is like genuinely seriously off. And I really typically don't fall for like shit like this. Like I don't even... But also I haven't given a second thought since I saw it three weeks ago until just now. So like it literally doesn't affect me or bother me at all. The face thing is weird, but what's really...
kind of sinister about TikTok and even just like the built-in camera app on your iPhone is that it does like a default level of like beautifying that you can't take off. Yeah. Like I've noticed on... On live streams specifically. Yeah. Like I've noticed on like... Like snaps off and on. Yeah. On like things that were shot purely on Instagram reels, people's faces will flicker. And it's like, I know this person's not putting a beauty filter on. Yeah. Like I, they're not the type of person to do that. It's just like default.
on it so I feel like which is so bizarre that's that's weird I feel like that's doing very weird you know what it is it's like oh my god I look so good in this TikTok app subconsciously and I'm just gonna use it and post more
- Yeah, 100%. It becomes, like, subconsciously addictive because you're so obsessed with how you look on the app. - Yeah, it is, like, a subconscious thing. - Um, everybody is talking about the, like, AI on this video, but no one's talking about this video. Like, the way she dances in this is fucking insane. At one point she goes like this, like... - She is so lit. Yeah. - Wait, that's giving Illuminati hand signs. - Like, also, I love that it's a Janet song.
Okay, yeah, I love this. And I hope it's not AI because like, I really do just recognize Brittany as somebody who like does this because also like, right? I yeah, I just am like, this is so her.
I can't see anybody moving their body in this way and not being her. But I don't know. That is so fucking weird. It also just sucks because with apps like TikTok, those theories become so much larger than life. And I think everybody is quick to forget that
It's just a funny, like, double-edged sword because everybody talks about it so much because all of us obviously know her public history and that she's never been safe to just do what she wants, especially post, like, what, like, 2003, her life just fucking...
Even as a kid, her shit was fucked up. So sad. But so now we all talk about it all the time because we want to make sure that that's not the case. But then I almost feel like it does the opposite. Yeah, the pendulum swings all the way back around.
where it's like leave her the fuck alone yeah stop talking about her and but we all get involved in it because you're like i don't want that to happen again it's like sad to think about but then it probably just goes back in the circle and i bet that like so far left it becomes right yeah it like almost adds fuel to like the people against her in her life too because they're like see like even the people following you think you're crazy but it's just her and her back
you are fucking dancing with a with a soft filter yeah exactly also what's fucking crazy is no one has ever asked if i'm okay oh uh that's like a weird transition i'm in a safe place i mean like what does this have to do with you i yeah i've had filters bounce off my face before hello
like talk about me oh my god um and i'm not even jealous or anything like that people aren't talking about me like it literally weirdly feels like you just like took everything we said as like a fuel for your own fire like you want that and i also want a tapeworm so let's talk about that i can get you one of those so that's easy i know a guy
I want a tapeworm just to see what it feels like. And then I want to get rid of it immediately. A kid in fifth grade who I knew and we were friends with him had a tapeworm. And I remember being the most terrifying thing I'd ever heard in my life. Like the idea that there's just a worm in his body taking all his nutrients. And it freaked all of us out. And he got it because they were traveling. But when they came back, they brought back this like jade egg on like a little like three like.
prong stool thing like that was the gift his mom gave to our family from their trip why was that such a big thing like was that a thing for y'all like the like the marble eggs that sat on like little like fake stools i would hit them at like main event like that was the vibe like from like an arcade or like those like balls like the steel balls yeah that whole arc
I almost made a joke that would have had to been cut, so I just didn't say it. Well, I don't know. Did I talk about my mom literally giving me two full bottles of Zoloft and sent me home with them? My grandma got extra Zoloft for some reason, and my mom was like, here, Drew, you need these. Please, please just try it. Please just take these. I'm begging you, please. Damn. Yeah.
Am I like that fucked up? I know. Are you okay? Actually, now it seems appropriate to ask you. Oh, see, now y'all are going to try to 5150 me and make me the bad guy. No, that doesn't make you the bad guy. We're just like worried for you. I'm fine. If I disappear and come back, it's a fucking robot. And these bitches are the ones up to it. They're like, oh my God, we need to keep doing this. I can't let my income go down. We have to deep fake them. We have to make a robot out of them.
if I disappear and come back and I'm recording it on my phone just know I'm a robot hey Drew no one's ever gonna see that okay also what makes you think you're not already the robot you are the robot like we replaced you a long time ago oh fuck you're just becoming self-aware oh fuck oh fuck what was I gonna say you said Drew what did I say hold on oh my
I said, I'm AI if I come back. Yeah. And then what did you say? I'm going to censor that information. Fuck, there was something right in between there that I wanted. This is why I cut people off. This is why when I'm speaking to people that I, in the middle of the conversation, have to get my thought out. Because if I don't, it's lost in the ether forever and someone else is going to grab my thought from the thought ether. Do you think that happens to regular people or can they just hold the thought while someone else is speaking? I think we...
are not reactionary conversationalists. Like, we don't wait for... We don't react to what they're actually saying. We think of something in the middle and then say it ourselves. And it might follow along with the conversation, but, like, I think that's based on, like...
the way we conversate. Yeah, it's like the whole thing where we're just waiting for the next person to stop talking so we can talk. It's not really like... It's a conversation, but it's not because I'm just waiting my turn. Like, I'm just in line. My life just feels like being in line to talk. Like, I'm always in line to talk. I have the... I'm queued up. On my phone, I have my notes list from every single episode ever, and I just found...
The first one? The first episode. The gender of a Baja Blast. Screen time. Sour like funky. Getting the Johnson & Johnson vaccine. I swear I could get across those big red balls. Oh, on Wipeout? On Wipeout, which is very real. I really don't think you could, but yes, keep going. I guess we'll agree to disagree. Okay.
I mean, I guess you'll just have to prove me wrong. We got to get you on Wipeout. Deadass? Like, let's fucking do it. Like, actually, let's do it. You know how fucking humiliating that would be? You know the bungee jumping video of you? It would be that times, like, 80. Kai, have you seen that video? Oh, yeah. Are you allowed to tap out of Wipeout? Like, am I allowed to jump on the first ball, fall off, and be like, okay, I'm done? This is fucking humiliating. I'm not doing this. Yeah, I guess none the wiser. Yeah, they can just cut me out. Yeah. And then weed psychosis...
How Enya wants to be violent again. Enya grew out of fighting phase and is going right back into it. And then I didn't because I grew. And now I'm so awesomely not upset ever.
Living presently and consistently. I'm going to start sedating myself. It's crazy because I started to do the complete opposite. I do not live present by any means. I am not here. And then in four months, I'll be like, damn, I wish it was that time again. Fuck. Like that was so good. So bad. But also, I don't know why no one's talking about this, but this year has gone by so
so incredibly fast and like a scary scary scary fucking way where like normally like I'm like oh yeah like July or January through April like yeah that shit goes by like immediately everyone knows that like that's the tea but it normally stops there like it normally like doesn't keep
accelerating but like for some reason here we are you know what it is when you talk you are saying things that i agree with but hearing them come out of your mouth make it seem so much crazier sometimes because you don't respect me i know it's because i'm hearing another person say something that i think and then hearing it i'm like oh dude i'm like damn that does sound like a crazy person thing to say it's really crazy how synced up our brains have gotten
It's like because our periods can't sync up, our brains did. Yeah. And that's why women are so inferior because if you didn't have your periods, everybody's brains would be syncing up and we'd be more intelligent. But like our bodies are too busy making our periods sync. Why does that happen? Like, is that a real thing? Is that scientifically backed? Your periods stink?
Sink! You know they stink. They do, though. They do sink up. Okay, we all know that. We know they fucking stink like fucking smelly eggs and like butthole. Like, it doesn't matter. Dog water. Is that what it was? It was dog water? But the reason they sink up is because we are...
Village critters. We lived in villages when we were little, and it was good for the males to have all of the girls ovulating at once so they could just go around in a circle and bang them all and spread their seed as fast as possible. Okay, so synchronized periods is a myth. What? I thought that was real. No, it's not real. I believe it. I've had...
multiple women tell me i was about to say that that happens to them literally every girl in my life has at one point i think it literally might just be like by coincidence well it does confirm sync up to the moon periods have like a direct correlation to the moon periods are beautiful it's so pretty to be a woman shut the fuck up
Bitch, this long ass article. Tell me yes or no. Y'all swear I'm going to read that shit, bro. Stop writing articles. We literally have too many. We like actually have too many about certain things. Like unless there is a real update, stop writing articles. Also, why did Google make it that when I looked shit up, like I could see an article from like 1912? Why the fuck?
are you uploading the archive to Google? Like, that shit is so old. It has nothing to do with today. Well, if we don't learn from history, it repeats itself. Hello, boom, mic drop moment. I ate. Okay, so periods don't sink. That was a fucking lie. That was a literal, that was a lie to make you feel connected to the people around you when really the only thing that connects you to the people around you is your vicinity to them and your emotional and physical and like biological connection to them actually means fucking nothing.
Let that sink in. Let that sink up. The sink is at the door knocking. Like a sink is at the door knocking. Let that sink in. You've seen that? Yeah, I mean, okay. Okay, well, let's do some media. Media of the week. Okay, so Beautiful Boys, Coco Rosie, Bruja Arca,
Entertainment, Spirit of the Beehive, and Calor Arca. I've been in my Arca arc. I've been listening to Arca as I work out, and it's one of the greatest decisions I've ever made in my life. Also, Arca literally is just like one of the most talented producers in our lifetime, and what she's doing to music is what the Beatles think is
or what is what people think the beatles did for music yeah arca is putting us in the future she's actually putting in the work yeah but i just found out that two artists i listened to were in the beatles like george harrison was in the beatles was that the one paul mccartney who was gonna tell me that huh paul mccartney no wait is that the other artist yeah no i think it's just george harrison paul mccartney has a really good album ram on with his wife linda mccartney
But it's only one song, two songs that I like. -Um, but yeah, I really like George Harrison and Josiah told me in the car that that person was in the Beatles. -He's a Beatle? -It's funny though because the single music is better. Um...
I like the Beatles. Okay. Like fine. Like y'all got it out of me. Like stop being fucking angry. Like who gives a fuck? Like, Oh, now, now things are different. Now I can make fun of the Beatles. Now that I've admitted that, like they make okay music, like, okay, here's my media of the week. Morning by Post Malone, middle ground by Maroon 5, Waffle House by the Jonas Brothers. If we ever broke up, Mae Stevens. 1, 2, 3, 4, Feist. Um, Calm Down by Rema and Selena Gomez, Side Effects by Becky Hill and Louis Thompson. Uh,
And then Meltdown by Niall Horan. That's actually my media of the week. Wow. Please, whoever keeps up with those playlists, do not put those songs in there. Wait, mine is actually... Y'all heard of One Direction? Who's that? It's like this boy band that was created by Simon Cowell. Oh.
Oh, for like American Idol guys? Basically, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like these boys that make great music. Together? Mm-hmm. Oh. Do they all sing at the same time?
No, they like take turns. Oh, okay. They sing some together sometimes though. Oh, okay. Pitching your boy band for the first time. Well, how are they all gonna like be in the same song? They can't all sing at the same time. It's like, oh, they'll like go one after the other. Yeah. And then during like chorus and hook, they'll like all shine. Match each other's... Wait, hold the fuck up. Hold the phone. Why are y'all matching my energy?
Why does the viewers match my energy? Wait, why is the viewer low-key always holding the phone? Like, hold the phone. You're holding your phone. Well, that's not my actual media, but I just decided that I'm not giving media. Nah, I'll give it a little something. I'll give it a little something. A little something. I'll give it a little something. But yeah, whoever keeps up with those, please do not put that in there. I'll belong to you. Oh, I already said this. I already said this.
I've been listening to a lot of Carole King. I just I'm I guess I'm just a little too sensitive by orange juice. I know I'm literally serving Carole King with my hair like and nobody wants to admit it. Nobody's talking about it. It's not really. No, I don't know. Fuck all night by Jay-Z. Stay with me for a Williams. I'm so high grind mode.
um wait grinder yeah grinder they made music they make music for the app oh okay yeah um weird and then all around the world by lisa stansfield and ian devaney andy morris why are you adding those names or did they remaster that song they are not on that song being around the world
If someone held a gun to your head and told you to say the lyrics to one song, what was the song that you would be able to do? My ABCs. Wow. Genuinely, A Millie by Lil Wayne. Wow. That's honestly awesome. I watched someone die in front of me, and then I went to the car and listened to that music, that song, over and over and over again. Oh, so your trauma bonded to that song. Yeah. That's sweet.
Alright, well, that was the episode. Thank you guys so much for watching. Bye! Been around the world, aye, aye, aye, aye.