enya is being targeted
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Hello?

Hello? Kai is literally back in the office. There's like a crazy sound. It might be. It went away. It's me. Shit! Oh, yeah, it was your voice. Yeah. It's the crazy sound. No, but Kai is finally back in the office. It's been, what, two months? We haven't seen Kai in two months, which is crazy. But welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. He got started off like that. People are going to be like, what the heck am I listening to? I forget. I forget. I literally just would have gone. I was just telling him, like, we need to start now because, like,

I am, so I'm like functioning below baseline. Like typically, like I'm really, really far below baseline when you see me. This is me at baseline. Like this is when I feel like a normal fucking person. And with me in bed? Babe, it's like above baseline.

So true, dude. It's crazy how the only way you can connect with the people you love is if you do shrooms. Yeah. Like, why is that, like... Yeah, it's to gain empathy. It's the only way to make it work. Like, why did they make it like that? It's to gain empathy, yeah. Yeah, because before that, like, there's...

What is, wait, actually, what is that? The word you just said. I haven't done shrooms yet. Oh, it's like when you like care, like you, I mean, it like makes me want to gag saying this, but when you like care about other people's feelings, like because my, I'm sorry, but your feelings are not my problem. Me when my child expresses to me that they're sad, I'm going to be like, I'm like, I'm literally like, stop trauma dumping on me. Like you're seriously freaking me out. Like what are you chronically online or something? So weird. Yeah.

Telling your child to touch grass. You need to go outside, babe. No, but, like, dead ass, like, that is the realest shit. Like, touch grass. Okay, says the person with Taco Bell stains on his bed. Oh, says the person that was just touching grass all week and slept in grass all weekend. I can't believe I still haven't been camping. I know. I just, like, really want to go because I want to poop in the woods. Yeah, that's, like, a good part. Like, I need... If before I die, I need to poop in a dirt hole. Since I've...

gone they've like upgraded and there's like a tent around you now and it's like there's toilet paper and like plastic bags and you take this shit out no I need like a gust of wind no you can still do that

I definitely was like I'm not using their fucking toilet so I just in the middle of the night I was still so embarrassed because it was like really really late it was like 4am and I was terrified I was gonna get the whole weekend what if you get like bubbly guts and it's loud as fuck well that's what happened to one of the people that were with us did you hear it? they just go far far away like downwind like

Did imagine being so embarrassed to like poop near people you're camping with that you go too far off and you get lost like tie in the woods. Definitely happened before but I'm gonna make sure that happens there was like a mountain next to my campsite that I hiked up and I woke up really really early to hike up it I mean in it when we camp we like we're not at like a campsite that you read like that you would think you go to like we're in the middle of nowhere like a hundred miles away from like the nearest person like

very very desolate vibes like you don't see anyone no one sees you the entire time you're out there it's kind of creepy but it's also like really cool because you're not interacting with other people at all and I mean you're like on your own like no no food no campfire like none of that like it's crazy and

but there's a mountain next to us that's definitely hasn't been touched by a human being in like 10 000 years like i felt really special it was really cool and i hiked up to the top of it and i like put a bunch of sigils everywhere so in the next 10 000 years when a person hikes up it they stumble upon like these

These really fucking creepy. What the fuck is a sigil, bitch? Like you just said that like. It's like demon shit. That's like Orion when I was in Portugal with her. She said something. She was like, oh, so-and-so from Wimpleton. And then she kept talking. I was like, wait a second. Where the fuck is Wimpleton? I now know it's like in the UK, but Wimpleton. If you're from Wimpleton, you're a fucking freak. You do not exist. Is that a Pokemon? Dude.

Dude, there's probably no pictures of you because you don't exist and you're not real. And you're going to go to touch your computer that you're watching this on and your hands are going to go through it. It's like that one idea where like every once in a while, like the, nevermind, you know what I'm talking about. You were going to say something like schizophrenic. So then I wouldn't know what you were talking about. No, no. It's just like, it's like this theory that like your neutrons and electrons and atoms will like align because everything's made up of empty space that there's a possibility that one in like a quadrillion bajillion chance that you hit the wall and like,

your hand can go through the wall. Has that ever happened? Or they just are saying that? It's an idea. It's an idea. It's possible, but I don't believe that anything is real. But you were saying, um, I put a bunch of sigils and like, um, effigies and weird shit up at the top of this mountain. So when people stumbled upon it, effigies,

Like you keep, you're like making shit up, bro. No, y'all know. So you put, what did they look like? Just like I put sticks in like. You don't have a picture of it? No, I didn't. Yeah, you probably didn't do that. No, I got a video of one that's really. No, I did like, I got a video. I got a video of one that's really embarrassing that like after I did it, I was like, this is the corniest shit I've ever done. And no one will ever know except for Kai.

Kai's the only person that does- You didn't tell anyone about that? No, it's so cringe. Ju made the Grindr logo out of rocks. Wait, why would you put the Grindr app on there? You don't use that. No, that one's for LGBTQ. QAnon. Q is for QAnon. No, that's not what it is, but we can add it if you want. What is Q? Is it questioning? Are you serious? I genuinely don't know. It's for queer. Oh. Oh.

Yeah, I'd like to apply under Q. No, getting called. Since I've been banging your mama, I will say I fall under Q. I am questioning a lot of things. I thought you said since I invaded your mama. I look, he did invade her hole. Yeah. I'm sorry. Sorry, Pam. Say sorry to my mom. Sorry, Pam. Actually, she didn't text me that she listened to the last episode. She's tired of you, bro. She's like. She's bored. She's bored of it all.

Why are you gonna do that? Actually, I should do that to you to silence you from saying all your- You literally spread fake news. Like, you used your platform to spread news. And misinformation. Literally, you're pulling, like, a Christian to the public. Yesterday, he said two things where, like, I had to look them up. And I was like, I feel so bad for being this friend when you say things to me. What did I say? What did I say? No, Christian did. Oh, oh, oh. What did you say? No, you-

well you don't say things based in real in like reality so I'm not gonna look it up because it's gonna be like no one is saying this cause you find all your information through like somebody's TikTok who makes like 18 million a day and then there's one with words on the frame so you're like oh and you click that one misinformation and lies or it's information and truths yeah I guess depending on where you live and you're peeling back the veil veil veal goat Drew's goaded

That was a reach. Yeah, that one was kind of insane. I am impressed. Did you just make that up, though? Yeah. Because that was impressive how... Well, I'm a rapper. Did someone else say that? No. You said something that was funny, and I texted it to you because you didn't have your phone on you. Oh, yeah. I've been leaving the house without my phone recently. Oh, they call me Nintendo the way I switch up, which is not a flex. That's the worst thing. The way they switch up on me. The...

No, and I said it and then he was like did you make that up and I was like I think I just made that up. Yeah and I had to look it up and I was like oh my god congrats. And I made it up. I made up a thing too. Oh yeah. It's that I see on both sides like Chanel. That's a song. Oh like bisexual? Yeah yeah. Oh wait you're bi? Wow. Well no I'm not but that's just something I say. Well then why say that? Yeah why did you say that then? For clout? Gay is not allowed. Gay is not allowed. Why do you think that? Okay.

Sorry, I just farted. My sweaty feet and my socks. I don't have shoes on because my feet got so hot. Jared did cross the chair. Hey, why do you say that? You shouldn't. Nikki Blonsky. Where is she? She has me blocked, so I haven't seen her. Is she on a bad one? No, she's chilling. She's living her fucking life. But I watch her live streams on TikTok every once in a while.

She has a spot in my heart forever. There's a few people that, like, have a spot in my heart and she is one of them. And I can't name the other ones because it's really problematic. I thought you were going to say I can't name the other ones because, like, you can't think of them. And I was going to be like, I guess how big of a spot do they really have? If you read self-help books...

I don't know if I want to talk to you. If you can't figure it out on your own, like, type shit? Or, like... I'm just, like, you don't have, like... I feel like self-help books are, like, the Avon of makeup. Like a scam. Or, like, the Mary-Kate, yeah, makeup. It's, like, a period scheme. Yeah, it's super period scheme. Period scheme. Sorry, I'm bleeding. I'm free bleeding right now, and my chair is really wet. Period scheme.

It's like a pyramid scheme and all the graphic design for it looks like they like AI generated it. I've noticed like looking at like go to a Barnes and Nobles and just look at all of the book covers. Like they look fucking insane. It's insane. There can't be words behind that cover. No, they literally freak me out. If you like picked it up, it would shake and there'd be like an old key. It rattles. Like somebody left it there. Soon books are just going to be fucking SD cards that we put into our ears.

How soon do you think that is? I genuinely believe in the next 50 years. Something is actually wrong with me. I can't even get LASIK because my eyes are dry. Do you know how many people just wouldn't be able to get that? Because it would have to do with your eyes. It would have to connect to your eyes so you could see it. Or is it just like your brain is reading it? It's just your brain. It's a chip in your brain.

Such a necessary thing to be done. So I saw a video of kids from the 1960s predicting what the 2000s were going to look like. And one of them was like, dude, I'm going to have a huge TikTok account because my grandson is going to film me. I'm going to do NPC TikTok live videos. My grandson is going to post pictures of me when I was hot as fuck and I'm going to be popping on TikTok. Yeah.

And I'm gonna bang... Yeah, okay. Fuck! Okay, what were you saying? What were they predicting? Oh, but they just, like, predicted a bunch of shit. I forgot what I was saying. Why was I saying that? Well, you're supposed to remember what they were saying. Well, they were saying, like, oh, they're gonna, like, have, like, phones in their homes and, like, just shit like that. Like, they're gonna have TV that's in color. Not the most creative thing.

Well, no, back then it was. I mean, I guess both phones existed and TVs existed, so they were like, it'll be like what we have, but kind of the opposite. Instead of outside, it's inside. No, no, no, it was impressive, because the other shit they were saying was like, oh, they'll be scared of the nuke and shit, and shit like that. I fear no man, though, so it's like...

nukes are a lie to keep the population in check to scare us into submission we don't have how many people are like damn i shouldn't run this red light because like what if the new it's not stopping like yeah i mean it's deeper than that i guess yeah that's my favorite uh conspiracy theory like political yeah there's no nukes like nukes are like what backs the u.s dollar value i guess yeah yeah

The military industrial complex, it all goes back to it. That's crazy because I dropped a nuke on your mom's coochie. Oh, well, I dropped a nuke, which is a turd in your mom's vagina, and it gave her a bacterial yeast infection. A bacterial yeast infection. Right. Right. Okay, wait, wait, wait. I have shit written down, but I got to find it first because it's like,

Mixed into what I already said. Oh, did you guys see the LK 99 thing?

What the hell is that? It's like the superconductor. No, I didn't see that, no. There's like some South Korean scientists that figured out a way to make a superconductor. Oh, at room temperature. Yeah. Yeah. Which is crazy. Yeah, because it's really crazy. And we would use that for... Well, it's like the MRI machine costs like $40 million and you could make one for like $1,000. Because you don't have to like cool it. Yeah. And you could make like floating trains. I'm going to put that on my PS5.

Yeah, because didn't we have to, like, used to, like, freeze, like, these, like, magnets to, like, make them levitate? I watched this video by this guy on YouTube and he was, like, basically saying that it would change the world if they actually pulled this shit off. Have you seen the drama with it? Yeah, that's what they were saying, is, like, you could create tracks and, like, make cars float and then it would be, like, frictionless travel. Unnecessary, though. Also, did you see the drama with it? Like, let's just use it to, like, cool down the earth, but, like...

Like it always has to be that. They said they could make like a quantum computer wing bot. Oh, that lives in 17 million different realities. And it gets embedded in the hood of a clit. So then it's like a, yeah, it's like a neural link, but for your exact. And then anytime you're horny, you're just like a neural link, but for your pussy. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, you're not allowed to say the P word. Yeah. I actually, I actually feel that. I'm sorry. Yeah. Um,

um but there was a lot of drama with it because like they submitted it like years and years and years like not years and years like three years ago and everybody was like brother is physically impossible like y'all are lying y'all are making this up and they kind of were they were like theorizing and they used like a different material like copper or something like i don't i don't know exactly the science behind it but basically the drama is that like

it kind of started leaking that they were cracking the codes. So the scientists that went and published it first, it was a group of three because they won a Nobel Peace Prizes and you can only get Nobel Peace Prizes in groups of three or less. So...

People were like kind of copying their sign. I'm just like really cool. Yeah, and you're tapped in. Yeah. Well, you can get one solo, but he ran, he broke away and like, um, he tried to submit it first. So I would have to start like a boy band to get my next Nobel Peace Prize. Like I'd have to start like a duo, like an outcast kind of situation. Duochrome? What is duochrome? What the hell? Like the, that's like a finish of paint. Yeah.

I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like, I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like, I miss the taste.

Adrenochrome? Yes, I've been eating a lot of adrenochrome recently. Why are you looking at me? You're looking at me way too much. Am I not supposed to look at you? I actually feel like this whole episode I haven't looked at you and that's why I started looking at you because I've been just like zoning off while y'all talk about like magnets and fans. Okay, this is a hard, this is a crazy take. God sends his tastiest babies to his hungriest pit bulls.

Well, okay listen. What does that mean? That pit bulls eat children. Okay, like I love animals. No, I love animals, but like pit bulls... Did you just think of that? No, I wrote it down. I know, but I'm saying like did you think of that? Well, not those exact, that exact verbiage, no. Yeah. But...

Okay, because I was like, in what world were you around pitbulls? No, I posted that on my meme account. Literally all of that shit I read is just shit I posted from my meme account. Oh, okay. I thought like you were talking to somebody and they were like, yeah, like my pitbull like fucked my baby up or some shit. No, no, no, no, no. God sends his tastiest kids to his pitbulls.

That was like the craziest thing I think you've ever said. I was going to get into like... Okay, go. Yeah, go for it. Sorry. I love animals and like shit, but like pitbulls are kind of scary. And that's like my probably my most problematic take ever is... And the people who ride for pitbulls... Oh, you think that's the... Ride for pitbulls. I'm just like... This is one that I did come up with. I don't know how to word it though, but basically it's like...

Oh man, you are on a roll right now. Like this is insane. You're saying men do the same thing? Cut, cut, cut.

This episode is already cut and sliced to fucking charades. No, no, I'm done. It's done. It's done. It's done. Should I tell the story about the scary men at Nobu? Yes. So I was at this event with like a bunch of homegirls and it was at the Malibu Pier, which is right next to the Nobu, like in Malibu. Yes, I go to the Nobu in Malibu. And it's easy and I just do it on a whim. Like that's just the kind of life I lead.

But one of them really likes eating there and they were like, oh, we should go. So we walked over. We tried so hard to get a table. They literally looked us up and down and were like, we do not have anything here. And we begged for an ETA for a table and they were like, we can't do that. And then my friend was like,

but if you had to guess could you and she was like i literally cannot guess for you right now like it was a weird interaction but we went to nobu couldn't get a table then we were told we could go to the bar area and you can order food there i've also already told this story to jerusalem he seems like unamused it's not because it's an awesome like not an awesome story it's because i've already told him exactly so i guess this is more for kai because he's the only one in the room who hasn't heard it but

um we couldn't get a table and then we have to sit my altar hasn't heard it should i front should i bring him up are you serious jericho he went here did you name him or did he name himself hey jericho yeah did you i mean you're not that much different from drew i'm emo oh okay did you give yourself that name or i was cutting for justin bieber and interrupted by a no boo story

Oh, that didn't answer my question. And Nauhoren. Also, both of those people are fully fine. You don't have to do that for them. Nauhoren left One Direction. That was like a long time ago and he never left. I guess technically everybody who stayed in One Direction got fired. Yeah. They got laid off, which is kind of embarrassing. Like Zayn left and then it was like, fuck. All right, Drew's back. Um,

You don't seem like it took that long to change back. It's really easy. It's like they're sitting at a round table in my brain at all times. Okay, they're sitting at the red table with Jada Smith and Willow Smith? Well, no, no, no. Babe. That was just a joke. I don't think those are just people in your head. Those are real people. Willow. Willow Pill.

I don't know what you're saying to me. I'm going to keep going. Don't look at me like I know what you're saying. Willow Pill is a drag queen that ate down and won the season. Oh, okay. And she... Oh, you're just like... Yeah. Whoa.

Anyways, we're sitting in the corner of this bar. When we walk in, immediately these two older men who had to have been in their mid to late 50s were staring at us. And all of us kind of saw it, but none of us acknowledged it because we were like, whatever. We finish eating. Wait, can you pause real quick? I'm sorry. I just hate women being talked to and looked at weird by men. Do you need to take a three-hour break? Yeah, I need to go lay down and cry.

That's crazy because it didn't really affect me like that. So it's like, why are you... It's not really about you. It's more about him right now. I guess it's about the men involved. It's more about them and what they're up to. Yeah, my emotions are more important than yours. Oh, wow. Actually, can you stop touching me? Thank you. Whatever, we didn't acknowledge them. We finished our food. We're finishing our drink. And as we're finishing, the two guys go up and talk to two of the girls we're with. And...

me and like the other girls are kind of like oh okay like they'll walk away eventually i'm sure they don't walk away 10 minutes has passed and like our two home girls are kind of looking at us and they're like

And I'm like, oh, and we like kind of tried to- Wait, you said in the mid 50s, late 50s? Yeah, they had that- Wait, what the fuck? Kai was not there. Kai was in New York. Dude, I'm not in my mid 50s. Oh no, he was in his mid 90s by Jonah Hill. Oh, okay, okay. I'm not in my mid 90s. Low key was Jonah Hill, guys. Like that's who it was. He, I mean, I wouldn't put it past him. Um, it was not Jonah Hill. Um, okay.

So whatever. We all start talking and then he's like guessing where we're all from and he keeps talking to all of us and I was just already kind of drunk and he wouldn't get the hint that we didn't want him to be talking to us because he'd be like, yeah, but you know, we're about to like have one more drink and leave. Like whatever. Like just trying to like get him away. We're like, yeah, we're having a girls night. Like and he just wouldn't back off. And then

my friend and me were like, they're not even going to buy us drinks. And they look like they have a lot of money and they won't leave us alone. And I was like, oh, we should just ask if they're gonna. And I think at one point, like somebody kind of threw it into conversation and they just ignored it. So then I got on my phone onto Instagram and I put, I'll insert the photo because I have a photo of both of these things. I...

buy us a drink question mark on the thing and I kind of started to show it to them like you hold up at like a concert yeah like for visual listeners it's like black screen white text yeah it was like just fully like subtitled that and I'm like and I I'm trying to show it to them and they're kind of just like like literally like looking away they're like dodging it acting like they don't see it like it's like right here wait hold your hand out to me it's like right there and they're like like slowly just moving away and then I was like hello

Like, oh, that was probably so loud. It's not my fault. I was like, hello, come on. And I like made them read it. And then you just look at it and they're like, um, like, and they just keep talking to everybody else. Why are you like an actress? That was good. I'm not even just playing. Like, that was good. I'm not even just playing. You guys sounded like Shawty Bay. I'm not even just playing this. Like, I'm for real. Um, but,

I hate how squeaky this chair is under my jeans. I know, why are you like shitting? I'm like so gassy. It's all of a sudden, all of a sudden, it's never once squeaked, but all of a sudden it's the chair because I think and you're shitting yourself. I think you're wearing a diaper. We need to bring back diapers. I'm not kidding. I need to piss in a diaper. Should we do it tonight? I'm literally not even kidding because I was so jealous of Christian and Michael when they put on diapers and peed in them without me. I was like, fuck dude, I need to try that.

That's like the craziest sentence ever. I was so jealous of my other grown ass friends who were pissing in diapers without me. Anyways, gotta try it out. They ignore it and then they keep talking and we like kind of keep trying to just get them away from us. They won't. And then I put on my phone again. I was like, want a drink? Question mark on me. Exclamation point. And I was like, hello.

And I was like, come on, is this going to get you? Like, you know, you want it. Like, I just like kept doing that. Also, one of the friends is Tavia and she pointed out to me when I saw her the other day, she was like, the way I was showing the phone was I was like, like shaking my shoulder at them. So no one can read it. Yeah, just like, hey, like being really like moving a lot. And then one of the guys started to almost like answer back.

I was like, oh, actually, like, he's going to let me buy him a drink. And I was like, I'm not going to buy you a drink. I was kidding. Oh, but if the roles were reversed, yeah, that would be funny. I just, you know, for a second, I thought you were like, like here for women. And now it seems like you're just like, you're playing both sides. No, listen, women come from my rib and they are the devil. Oh, whoa. Oh my God, dude.

Is that like a religious ideology? I can't get behind that personally. Oh my god. I'm like... Kai, she wants you so bad. She's hearing this. She's gonna finger you. She's gonna finger you. Okay, okay. But seriously, no jokes. Like, that's fucked up. And I don't support that. Okay. God. I'm like... Loser! Ooh, I can get loud. Should I get loud? No, don't be so... It's gonna scare you. That was so loud. Um...

But whatever. I was like, I'm not going to buy you a drink. And then he starts going on. He's like, you know what, girls? I have a better idea. All of you come to my house. I have plenty of alcohol. I have a pool. I got a disco ball and a dance floor. We can get started a little party of our own. Like start saying all this. I just look

Are you crazy? You're gonna fucking kill us like no and you fumbled the bag like crazy and I'm not even saying that like she literally fumbled for me and the rest of my summer like You should just be like you have to make it about you Not even like and you fumbled so hard. She could have like got in the car She wanted like all this stuff like she fumbled so hard. I could have had access to a pool this summer friends with pool

But like, it would have been so easy if that was your bae. Yeah, I guess. All I would have to do is like have sex and commit to somebody who's like really gross. I do it every day. Every day? I'm looking at her. Queen. Queen. Queen. You too, queen.

I love the idea of you wanting Enya to take the chance of getting trafficked so you can see a disco ball. Yeah, a disco ball on the dance floor inside the house. But he has bread. Like, that's crazy. But he wouldn't buy you a drink. That's what I'm saying. Does he have bread? That's what I kept saying. And I made that joke to him. I was like...

He actually might be the killer. He literally kept saying it like five times. He was like, come to our house, come to our house, come to our house. And we were like, no. And then he wouldn't leave us alone. We were like, can you even make drinks? Like we can get really good drinks here. So even in the off chance we did go to your house, what can you make? And then he looks at me. He's like, what do you like to drink? And I was like,

and he was like I can make you a triple shot margarita that will send you off and I was like you are going to behead me send you off I can get you so fucked up yeah and then I said that I was like so you just want us to go to your house so you can kill us and he was like I

couldn't take on all four all five of you and I was like oh we were like okay so you can take on like two of us or something like what is happening he just wouldn't leave us alone and then I started getting really annoyed because he mentioned he kept being like come to my house come to my house come to my house and we were like no we don't even live close to the action of your consequences and he like kept

And then I just started getting really annoyed. And I would turn to the bar and then turn back and be like, like, start yelling like that in the middle of no good. You literally caused an earthquake with that scream. I, like, started screaming. And they didn't budge. Like, he literally was just like, I had told him I was from Miami. He goes, there's that spice coming out. Like, he was just, like, eating it. Like, dude, it was insane. One of them was definitely a little senile. Like, Eddie.

Anything you said to him, he couldn't hear. So that's probably why the screams didn't bother him. Like when I told him, they were like, oh, are you Cuban? Because I'm from Miami. I was like, yeah, I'm like Cuban and Honduran. And he goes, oh, I love Hungary. I can't believe I haven't been back in

long and like started going to spain it's like honduras and he was like yeah hungary and like he literally kept taking back i was like no no no no no no oh my gosh whatever it just like kept going for so fucking long and they like would not budge i can't remember some of the other shit i did i was just acting fucking insane oh i told them i was a landlord for an rv park oh yeah and then it turns out that he was literally a landlord for an rv because it was it was

it was one of the, one of our, and he was drilling in you the entire time about, he was like, no, like this is fucking weird. Like this is like a match made in heaven. Like this is weird that we're both RV land. Yeah. He became obsessed.

because also and he has life sucked balls too well he ate it up so like oh actually two other things I did before I get into that he was holding this drink and I literally like wait hold this like they at this point this interaction has gone on for like 25 minutes I go give me that and I literally like yanked his cup out of his hand and he

oh you want some tequila huh and i was like i just like yanked your cup out of your hand and then one of their phones was on there like on the like bar table i was like give me that like i just started like grabbing and

to scare them away like what i was hoping would happen is they'd be like okay we've been drilling these girls trying to get them to come to our house for 30 minutes when they've said no 18 times but one of them has to budge and i thought maybe they'd be like oh one of them is actually fucking insane and will come to my house and steal everything i mean all of y'all were being kind of kooky right dude no all of us literally just started saying the craziest shit in response like they'd be like how old are you and i was like oh her she's 16 don't tell the bartender and he literally was like

oh I wouldn't and we were like whoa this is like insane they literally they literally thought like manic pixie dream girl like eternal sunshine of the spotless mind like this is gonna change our lives like these are the girls there's something deep there's gotta be a better word for whatever I was energy I was showing them cause it was not like the killer yeah the robber the robber and the killer and they were like these guys are so weird and they were like that girl needs help like something's wrong with her but clinically insane dream girl

BPD dream girl. I'm gonna keep going. Erectile dysfunction dream boy. Okay, so you're like freaking out, dude. But, oh my god, now I have like a hiccup that's stuck in my throat goat. In my throat. She's the goat of the throat. That throat is goated. But one of them, like, they kept... Yeah, thank you, actually. Thank you for recognizing that. But...

They kept asking and then finally one of our friends was like, dude, actually, I'm so sorry. I know we keep saying no, but it's because we all live so far and we all started saying places that were like really far from Malibu. And I was like, yeah, dude, I live in fucking Pomona. I have to take like the most expensive Uber of my life back. And then he was like... Malibu to Pomona, if you don't know, is like what, like 18 hours? No, it's literally like if it was at the middle of the night, I think it'd be like three hours, like maybe longer. Like...

In the middle of the night, it'd probably still be like two hours and 30 minutes. But he just like then hones in on me. He's like, you are not from fucking Pomona. And I was like,

what's wrong with Pomona? I literally am. I have to live there. My job is there. And then one of our friends was like, yeah, she's got to get back to the RV business. And then he was like, the RV business? I was like, oh yeah, I'm a landlord for an RV, like a trailer park. And then he was like, no, you're not. And I was like, I don't understand why you're becoming so hostile with me. That's literally my life. Like I live in Pomona. I'm a landlord. Like, I don't know why that's the craziest thing ever. And then he was like, how do you know

How many RVs do you have? And I was like, okay, this is going to sound crazy, but I have eight acres with 35 RVs on them. Which is so small. With 35. But I did mention that. And I think that's why he believed it. Because I was like, and I know that sounds like I'm cramming a...

Oh, is it? Yeah, it just went, but it's fine. And I was like, and I know that sounds like a lot of RVs for one pocket of land, but, like, that's how it's always been. Like, I treat my, like, tenants really, really good. And he was like, what's the price? And I was like, $1,200 to $1,800, but, like, it just depends on, like, how new the RV is. And then he started freaking out. He was like, oh, my God, like, this is actually crazy. Like...

do you actually do that? And I was like, why would I just say all of that, dude? Like, why would I lie about that? And then he started to become like overly into it. So I just turned and paid the tab. And then like my friends were like, see, that's the RV money coming in. Like she's paying the tab. And we had gotten one last drink and we wanted to go outside and smoke. And at this point I was like, this literally isn't funny anymore because it's been going on for 45 minutes and they actually won't leave us alone. So I told the bartender, I was like, Hey, we're going to go outside to smoke and finish these drinks. Can you please have like security, make sure he doesn't follow after.

And when we got up, they started following us outside. And I think the security came and interfered. And then the security kind of lingered with us while we were on couches. And the second the security started walking away, both of them like grabbed their drinks and started walking towards us. And I had to run back and get the security and tell them to come and like block them again. It was the craziest interaction I think I've ever had at that restaurant. And I hope somebody from the restaurant hears this and bans me.

For giving bad vibes publicly. Bad vibes. That's my long story. That's my really long story, guys. I'm sorry. I'm never going to talk again. Well, you're beautiful and you're lovely. Is that what you have written down? Yeah, you're beautiful. You're lovely. Why is it taking you so long to read that? Are you making it up? I don't think you wrote that down. I wrote all of it down. You did it. That's a lot more words than what you're saying. Fuck, I wrote something down right before this that I wanted to talk about, but like...

Oh, you probably just wrote it down in your mind. So if you just think hard enough. Wait, so the guy was super old? Yeah, but both of them were like...

in their like late 50s like maybe mid 60s i kept i kept imagining you know that video of um mitch mcconnell where he like pauses yeah i kept imagining that when you held up the thing of like can we get a drink getting just like he like just stares off to the left that was literally what i was giving they were like looking through my phone they did not want to read it this week has been good bipartisan cooperation and a string of uh

Me and Drew were talking about it after I told him because I woke up the next day. I was like, that was insane. I can't believe that they drilled for 40 minutes because they were that horny and like desperate. And me and Drew were discussing if we think they went home and we're like, damn,

Fuck, I fucked up. Like, oh, like, that was so weird. Like, I can't believe I did that. Like, did they have hangover anxiety the next day? Or were they like, dude, that girl was so mean. Or were they like, damn, like, I ate that shit up. Like, I almost bagged five girls at once. Yeah, I know. Probably that. And he was like, I was this close. Yeah. But the meddling security guard, like, meddling kids. Yeah. Why do they call them that? Like, they're, like, not metal. They're, like, normal. No, no.

Meddling. Yeah, what are they meddling? Meddling what together? The crime scene. Also, I thought that was called like a, like that was like the thing with the fire on it. Girl, what the hell are you fucking saying right now? You're freaking me the fuck out. You're literally freaking me the fuck out.

Alright, challenge for both of you guys. Okay. Look down at your zipper, and I bet I can guess what three letters are on it. Oh, three letters? What the hell? There's three letters on my zipper? How did he know that? And it's YKK. And I guarantee you motherfuckers out there are wearing it too. Yeah, because it's like the widest manufacturer of zippers on the planet.

And then some of the zippers on old Levi's. Yeah, it says it. Some of the old zippers on Levi's, I think, are like made by Levi's. And that like old Levi's have like a specific zipper and that's how you know how old they are. Well, thanks for ruining my fucking magic trick. You thought you were going to teach me something right now. I know everything. You can't teach me.

That's why our relationship didn't work out because you can't give me anything. I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave

Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Says the fucking loser single bitch. Oh my God. Sad motherfucker. What does that have to do? Loser bitch. I'm pointing out the fact that you are not good. No riches, no love, no life. Virgin. Loser. What does that have to do with you guys, me pointing out that your parenting is not that good? Uh...

Because you've never had sex and you can't even make kids because you've never done it? Yeah, because nobody wants to touch you because you're fucking disgusting. Okay, that was too far. That was too far. Yeah, that was too far because you touch him, so that would make you disgusting. Yeah, exactly. Was it you last night, Drew, or was it Jericho? Last night boning you? That was Raymond. Damn, Raymond? Okay. That was very Mysterio. He's not fronting right now.

Fuck, I don't want my phone to die, but I need to watch this video. Rey Mysterio is that? The wrestler. Oh, yeah. Journey! Hello? Journey! Yes? Oh, my God, I can't find Journey. Where is she? Can't find Journey. My mom gonna kill me. I can't find Journey. I'm right here. You left me outside. You see Journey? You see Journey? You see Journey? I think she's invisible. Yeah, Journey. Where's Journey at? Where is she?

Context. He literally broke her spirit. Like, she, like...

It was probably fun. At the beginning of it, like, it was funny for her, and then he went for so long. Also, you know what I realized? This was posted on Snapchat, and I don't think this person was, like, a content creator like that, so that means this older brother just did this shit to his sister for, like, way too long just for his homies to see. It was, like, a trend on Vine at the time. Oh, really? Okay, right, right. But this is the best one to ever come out of it. Yeah, no, this one's so good. She just said, like, it's actually so sad. Also, what was her reaction when he finally was like, no, you're real?

you're real I wonder if she was just like I love my mom's gonna kill me like just making it real um well you know what's really scary oh the fuck that was honestly savage D Savage and Madison Beer oh the Madison Beer beef D Savage Jack Galinsky oh baby Gronk baby Gronk just lived up baby Gronk just rizzed up Livvy Dunn doing that four weeks later

Baby Gronk. You know Baby Gronk? No. Dude, he's the sickest fucking kid ever, bro. Okay, we're gonna do it. He's got like 18 college offers for football and he doesn't even play like that much. And he rizzed up Libby Dunn. Yeah, and Libby Dunn. Who the fuck is Libby Dunn? LSU. LSU Jack Galinsky. Okay. He rizzed up Libby Dunn. Yeah.

Bro, literally bro Literally bro But um Jin Alpha is literally making memes Now and it's really really Fucking scary because Jin Alpha? Yes, Jin Alpha The new ones I know they're not alphas Call them fucking Jin Beta More like because they're fucking pussies They got addicted to their fucking iPads and Roblox Like duh Like Jin Beta more like

We should be called Sigma. Gen Sigma. Yeah, I'm tired of being called Gen Z. Wait, that's what you think you are? I think I am. More like Boomer. Booyah. Bo-doink-a-doink. More like Gen Bo-doink-a-doink. You got me. Okay.

um what the was i saying oh jen alpha is making memes now and one of them is like skippity-doo-bop fucking toilet like four yeah they're babies they're young but they're making memes now which means we're all about to get made fucking fun of and we're going to be the loser cringe facebook and you know what's crazy made fun of no no no no no i read i treat it's crazy the the cycle is just continuing because

We used to look at our parents and be like, God damn it, our parents are so fucking stupid. They believe everything they read on Facebook. We are now our fucking parents. We have become our parents with fucking TikTok because everything on TikTok is real to everyone in our generation. And it's just misinformation and lies spread by me. But yeah, they have this meme called like Skippy Toilet or something that like... Why do you know this? Maddox.

Yeah. Skippy toilet. I don't know what the... Oh, no. I just erased all of my fucking notes. No. Wait. They're all gone. Well, don't back up yet. Yeah. I don't think you're shaking it right. You're freaking me out. They're all gone. All the notes are gone. Oh, well. AT popped up. Okay. Well, that sucks. But I have a second one. So, we're good. Um...

But yeah, look up... I'll look it up on my phone. That is our phone because I look through it when I want because you're always cheating on me. It just turns out she never wanted to see my pictures in the first place. She never really actually cared. What the fuck are you quoting? Oh, shit. I didn't realize that Jen Alpha was 12 years old now. Yeah, they're young. Like, 12 is... That's like a person. Wait, okay, so...

I'm confused. And then what, 12 to 20 what is Gen Z? I think after, if you're 14 right now, you're Gen Z. And we're in the gray area of millennial and X with the two years. Yeah, you're gislenial. Yeah. I think is the term. Don't say that to a woman. What's wrong with you? I'm sorry. You are so that.

So this... Damn, I thought Generation Alpha was like six years old. That's what I'm saying. I thought they were like toddlers. And they live in avatars. They're going to be cringed out. What were you saying, Kai? Like that they live...

as avatars online and they're gonna be fucking creeped out by like us showing our face online yeah there's all these theories that the next generation is gonna view like not having privacy as like cringe so everyone will just use like an avatar which is ideal because i'm like all right i'm already agreeing with them i'm so young at heart you know but this is the memes that they created

This was already a thing. Ask your 9-year-old, 10-year-old, 11-year-old, 12-year-old. I've never heard of this. Not that song. I've heard that song. But remember this style of videos and how popular it was? Like...

It was during like Happy Meal. I'm speaking just on Skippy D Toilet. It's like a thing that all of your younger siblings know, but you have no idea that fucking existed. Yeah, I would have never seen that. And it's like a whole like series of videos that this dude creates and Jin Alpha just like eats it the fuck up. I mean, that had 88 million views and the other one had 74 million views and they just like eat it up. But it literally just looks like Gary's mod videos.

and it's probably fucking made in Gary's mud or some shit I guess we went through phases as like our generation of making some of the worst jokes and like literally the letter E was funny deep fried do y'all remember that? oh like deep frying memes? or no the letter E meme it got to the point where the letter E was funny and I ate it up

Like, this is how far gone we went in meme culture. Like, guys, I'm not kidding. I know, like, I could teach a college class... About memes. ...on memes. Like, and I'm not even just saying that. Like, I fucking love memes. I think they, like, speak so much to, like, culture. Like, literally, like, not to be fucking lame and loser, but, like, they literally, like, show what the masses are thinking. And, like, the fact that, like...

I know like people like aliens were confirmed real and everyone was just like

making jokes about it is fucking crazy because five years ago if aliens were announced that they were real it would have like literally broken everything ever um but even though like oh mighty weekend t-shirt but that's a psychological operation though um it is it is it's distracting us both um mitch mcconnell froze on tv you think uaps are signed up yeah i don't believe in project green bean or whatever the fuck um

Project Blue Beam is like... Project Green Beam? I was like, whoa, what is that? I didn't realize what you were saying. No, it's... Do you know what that is? It's like that the government has projectors that project UFOs in the sky to whatever, confirm their alien agenda to distract us from... You know what they're going to do is aliens... This is the whole fucking game plan. Aliens are announced real. Then in the next few months, right...

They're gonna be coming to Earth more frequently. Well, then they're gonna destroy the power grid. Aliens are gonna destroy the power grid. It's gonna wipe out everything, all of our financial, crypto, all of our currencies. Then they're gonna in-state Fed now. This is real shit, y'all.

No, it's crazy. The aliens are going to make way for the CBDC. Exactly. FedNow is going to be instated and then it's all because the aliens are going to take away Sheehan's RICO charge. No, no. I want Biden to stop gatekeeping the alien SC.

Okay, did you just shit yourself? No, sorry, but are you going to ignore what fucking guy just said? What did he say? He said, I'm... No, you repeat it, actually. I want Biden to stop gatekeeping the alien, I see.

Oh, T. You've never had? Because it probably goes crazy. You've never had? No. That was crazy. You being like, oh, T. You've never had? Like alien pussy? No, that shit's like, that shit is literally like out of this world. Like, it's fucking crazy. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure it looks... Like... You ever heard an alien moan? No. You never heard it? No. You can't make an alien moan? It's really fucking easy, bro. Yeah.

Oh, Mr. Beast is playing with dynamite now, so he's ripping into the ozone layer. He's a terrorist. Have you seen the last episode? Mr. Beast terrorist arc. No, I haven't watched it. Oh my god, he actually is a genius. Because of Oppenheimer being out, he's like, let's add explosives into this. Wow. That's the new vibe. He was like, wait. It's like when he saw Squid Game, and he was like, wait, what if I do exactly that?

He's making a nuke. I think Mr. Peace is going to set off a hydrogen bomb. That's his next fucking video is the H-bomb, bro. He's going to set off a hydrogen bomb. Because he can only go up. No, I'm dead serious. It's going to get to the point that I'm bored of them. I'm like, okay, blah, blah, blah. Like a train in a hole. Like, oh my God. Oh, a train through a wall. Wow. I literally watch them and I'm like, okay, bored, tried. Boring, boring, tomato, tomato. And then he started playing with fire and explosives and...

No, Mr. Beast terrorism arc. It's coming soon. Yeah, 100%. No, but like I've said it before, like, oh, don't get me wrong. Like, Mr. Beast, come on the podcast. We got some shit to talk about. Or let me go watch one of the explosions. Because you're evil. He's evil. I want to see one of the explosions so bad, man. No, no, no, Mr. Beast, come on the podcast and convince me you're not evil.

I don't, I mean, I don't know if you've ever looked into that frame, but like, I don't think he would see them like, I need to go there. Like, Oh, also, um, I was hanging out with Christian, Elisa and Yester. Who are those people? Who are they?

There's someone like our closest friends. I've just got rid of all the ops. I've gotten rid of all the ops. You haven't done your shrooms recently, so you're losing your connection. It's just like fuck people, bro. It's like me, myself, and I. Like Sigma mentality. Like I came from the bottom, now I'm fucking here type shit. Like bottom G swag. I think you might still be bottom. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Never that.

Anyways, oh, we were sitting around watching videos and then Christian goes, oh my God, I have a video that I think you're really gonna like. And I was like, oh my God, what is it? He's like, watch, just watch. And he wasn't joking. He literally showed me a hydrogen bomb video. Oh, that motherfucker jacked my swag. Yeah, and he showed it. He jacked my swag. He showed it to me and he was like, he was like, I just feel like you would love this. And I did because my first reaction was like,

Oh, imagine seeing that. It's so beautiful. And we all started laughing because I was like, oh, um... Oh my god, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. Like, it's literally a...

Mass destruction. But it looked so pretty. No, trust me. Like, destroying the ozone layer. I was like, ugh, neat. Trust me, I know, like, massive explosions are... It does something to my brain. Like, it's still... It's like discovering... Like, when apes discovered fire for the first time, like, it does that to my brain. Or, like, making the wheel and rolling it down a hill. That's literally the theory of all MrBeast videos. Like, that has to be the way he goes. Like, just what primal... I need this to be, like, when cavemen fight.

Yeah, like primal instincts, like Colosseum-type shit. Dude, that Beirut explosion video is insane. It looks like an anime fight scene. Yeah, yeah. I've showed you like a million times.

There's like an explosion. There's like a shockwave that like eviscerates everything in front of it. Oh, yeah. Didn't that happen like last year? In 2020. Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay. I have seen that. Yeah, I know. It's insane. It literally looks like an anime fight scene. Have you seen the one of the dude on the jet ski on the water? And he like, thank God he did this. He was really fucking close. But he jumped into the water because like...

He saw the explosion and he was like, oh, fuck, like, I don't know what to do. And he evaded, like, the shockwave that would have, like, likely ruptured his eardrums and made him bleed and, like, all this crazy shit. Well, should I get into Drew's Psyop Corner? Yeah, go for it. Welcome to Drew's Psyop Corner. Check on your friends who aren't having sex. We are not okay. Wait, but you said you... That was a quote from Kai. Okay. What are you talking about?

I'm not cringe, I'm a reflection of your internalized shame. That's just not true. 'Cause you're not very- The sensors on toilets aren't automatic flushers, they are cameras stealing your dick and vagina and butt information.

So tape them. Tape them like you tape your computer screen, you fucking nerds. I do it too. I'm scared of it. Every public bathroom you go into, you like tape it. I'm going to fucking sell that. I'm going to sell a sticker that you put over the sensor. Oh, wow. That is the nastiest thing ever. Wow. Dollar General be leaving that one cashier up there to die.

That's like the best one. That's literally my most favorite one. Oh, yeah. That's really good. Dudes be like, I don't watch TV. I'm not going to let mainstream media tell me how to think. My brother in Christ, you let recommendations underscore watch next dot serve parenthesis parenthesis determine your whole personality. That's so good. If God ends up being real and I go to hell, I'm going to be so pissed. I'm going to be so pissed.

He's literally real. God hates. We need to bring that back. No. All right, fine. This is a question for the culture. If I floated 1,000 feet above the ground perfectly still, would the earth rotate beneath me? Why don't we travel that way? If it does. If you jump in an airplane, why don't I splat on the fucking back?

If I throw a tennis ball in the car, why doesn't it float backwards? I know there's a physics answer, but it's not real. It's conservation of momentum. Oh my god. It's like base level physics. And it's not real. I don't fucking know. That shit doesn't happen. Simple. What is that sound? The simple answer is it just doesn't happen. No. No, I think Josh is doing something on his AC. Oh. Oh.

No, is that you? Oh, this song? That's what it was. It sounded like it was coming from in the hallway. Because I'm high and getting to the point that like I need to like move. You're playing with your feet. I gotta rub my feet together and take a nap. Alright, last one. When a gay person says, wait, no, because like you're gonna hear the most incoherent, unintelligent thing you've ever heard.

Someone make a compilation of me saying "wait no because-" I have to say that to you like 18 times in episode. Also, but you're not gay. Facts. Yeah. Uh-huh. I saw a really funny tweet and I wish I could find it. I've tried to find it and I can't but Orion showed it to me because it was on her timeline. And it was like, "Can you bitches stop bringing those big ass tote bags in the club? You almost knocked the charcoal off my hookah." And I literally cried at that because like,

I have been like a bitch with a big ass tote bag in a club because you just don't know you're going to end up there. I've been hit in the face with tote bags before. Doing the thing where you hold it in the front. Yeah. I've literally been hit with one before. In a club. And it made the inside of my lip bleed. Good. I did it on purpose. What the fuck? In the next episode, we're going to announce something so crazy that... It's going to rock your fucking socks off. If you have a family, you might leave them.

Yes. Because that's what I would do. I think that's in my cards. Yep. All right. Well, let's get in. I continue family tradition. Like a lot of people just like have their phones down and they like find new tradition, but I continue my family tradition. Of what? I will be walking out on my children. Oh. I mean, you literally did. Culturally, it is a part of me. Don't look at me.

Oh, okay. It's bad when a woman says she wants to try something new. Oh, did Barbie not teach anybody anything? Okay, that's a good point. I didn't see it yet. Because I don't fuck with women movies. Pink. Pink. You with little women. Alright, let's get into media. I did watch Carol and I think it would have been better if it was about straight people. No, that movie...

It's heartbreaking, y'all. We fucked me up and I almost feel like I shouldn't have watched it. But you know what? Cinema is... Cinema. You got the cinema, Harry Styles. You are a cinema, a Hollywood treasure. Action, thriller, I can watch you forever.

But it was really good. And I need, if you haven't watched it, cover your ears. But I need a poster of Cate Blanchett holding up that gun. Cate Blanchett put her entire fucking pussy into that film. That was about her life. I got so into that movie, I literally was like, I can't believe this is happening to me. This is a documentary. Yeah, that's what it felt like. I actually did, you asked me if it tore my rectum. I mean, my suspension of belief. Oh my God.

I did not. Sorry, I'm seeing your mom right after this and I'm just like, my head is like going 100 miles per hour. Your hymen? Yeah. I mean, when I ripped your mom's hymen, she bled a lot more than I've ever seen anybody bleed. God.

Hymen! You know, wait, what is it? It's Hymen. No. I'm so fucking Hymen. Yes, I'm so fucking Hymen. That's crazy that you knew exactly what I was referencing. Yeah, because that's literally me. We're on the same wavelength. Oh yeah, and you took an edible this episode, by the way. It's like... Boy. 21! Boy! Boy!

boy 21 we should do that the next party if you go to be a conversation like boy boy what the heck boy you're done boy what the hell boy and you better not be a snitch because that's a fucking carl bismarck who's carl bismarck do the first part what is it you know i just did the first part no

Oh, um, is it, wait, dude, I can't remember. I can't remember it either. Motherfucker. Yeah, motherfucker. Motherfucker. Motherfucker. And you better not be a snitch because that's a fucking Carl Bismarck. Motherfucker. You're a fucking liar, motherfucker. All right, um, I think that's the only movie I've watched...

Yeah, it's the only movie I've watched. And then I'm going to grab my phone so I can't give my visa. And for my movie...

I don't actually, I don't know if you've seen it. I know you've seen it, but it was me tripping with Kai's mom challenge. Wait, why would you be tripping with her? Are you just like trying to like, trying something new? My penis is really small, so it's like basically a clit. See, I held in that secret, but now that you've said it. I have something serious I want to bring up. Can you guys stop banging my mom, please?

I mean, you tell her that. It's like, I think she swallowed magnets or something, and then I did too, so they're stuck in my coochie, and hers also fell into her coochie. Just please stop it. It's very hard for me mentally. It went down the urinary tract, so like right, and like, I mean, it's a flat magnet, so like that's stuck there, and then we just like, when I see her, it's like,

That's insane. Yeah. And sometimes it sucks because she'll like, it's such a strong magnet. Sometimes she'll like kick me in my coochie. They've literally ripped up, like ripped in half before. Okay. Well, I tried. I tried to set boundaries and I guess I need this job. What's more important, Kai? Your family or your job? The job, probably. There you go. That's We Taught You Good. Okay. When the Morning Comes by Daryl Hall and John Oates. That is the best song ever. Yeah.

Wow. I've been listening to like the same three songs over and over. Seabird by Innovations, Our House by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. Too many people. Put that down to one. And Iron Man by the Cardigans and just that whole album. My movie is this small movie that just came out called Barbie. I don't know if you've heard of it. Let me know. No, but actually not another teen movie.

Classic. Classic. Five out of five. Ski, Cyber Speed, DJ S Mix. Super fucking lit. And that's all I'm giving you. I gave you like a bunch of music last week and I don't have anything else. I've given you all of me. I don't know what else you want. All of me wants all of you. All right. Thanks for watching. This is so weird. Ski. Ski.

Dude, y'all are fucking, you're fucking high and weird. You're freaking the fuck out. Your parents are going to find out. They can smell it. Even if it's inedible, your breath smells. It smells like an edible. They'll know. Yeah, you're being really weird. They're going to drug, dude, this sucks, but they're going to drug test you tomorrow. And you're literally going to get kicked out of school. Okay. Bye. Bye.