Emergency Intercom Is A Sociological Study Conducted By The CIA
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Oh, wait, no, that was the Fiona Apple shit I was trying to do. It just came out way better. You know at the end of where she starts fucking screaming? Oh my god, oh my god, want you to love me? Vegetable cutters! No, I said vegetable cutters, but it sounded like I said vegetable cutters. Fiona Apple's album Vegetable Cutters, it makes sense because her last name is Apple.

I'm gonna fucking hit you. Okay, so we've talked about this before, but I just need to bring it up again because I just had a new addition onto why it's gross when men don't wash their hands after they pee. Okay, wait, let me preface the story. So, I went to the bathroom right before we recorded and

And I had washed my hands because I had dust from my hands because I got out my 3DS because I'm giving it to my nephew for Christmas, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, I don't want fucking dust all over my fingers. That's nasty. And then I came back in here and I was like, oh, wait, I actually need to pee. So I went pee.

And water from my hands had splashed on the toilet bowl lid when I washed it. And I was like, I'm not getting down there to fucking wipe that water off the toilet bowl lid. It's literally fucking soap water. Like it's not going to affect anybody. So I was like, I'm not going to wipe that off. And so I came back in here and I was like, FYI, guys,

i just peed but it's water from my hands when i washed my hands not piss um on the toilet bowl seat and then i was like and but you said it you were like oh from when i washed my hands before i peed yeah and then i was like

Okay, but did you wash your hands like after you peed? I'm confused. Like why did you wash your hands? I don't have a dirty dick. I don't. I don't have a dirty penis. I don't have to wash my hands. Men literally don't wipe and I know that fucking wiener drips in your fucking undies. So you have pissy undies. You have pissy undies and your wiener goes and sits up against. Every man has pissy undies. That is so okay, but that's not

But that's what I'm saying is like that adds to why you should be washing your hands because each time you fucking grab your grubby nasty wiener You have to dig through your fucking crusted over PP like calcium five underwear to grab your calcium wiener and then also before we started you're sitting here like this like Literally like touching the fuck out of his mouth. No, I was pulling my nose down so I can smell my mustache. Oh

It's a thing. It's a fucking thing. He said it smelled like ricotta cheese and then he was like, I didn't say anything. And he goes, I was kidding. Because he got it there. It doesn't smell like ricotta cheese. It smells like fucking diptyque. Yeah, sure. It does. You want to smell my mustache? No. Ew. Give me a kiss. Give me a kiss. I know somebody has stinky breath. Their mustache smells like fucking shit. Not mine. Could it be me? Ew.

One time when we were younger, my brother ate a Big Mac and he said that his upper lip smelled like Big Mac for two weeks and he was freaking out. No, the thing is, is that has stuck with me ever since you told me that story. That has stuck with me since then and I am actually petrified to eat Big Macs because every time I eat them, I just have this like, I smell the odor that a Big Mac creates and it's like,

I don't know how that's appetizing, but somehow it is, but it stinks like fucking shit in like farm turds or something. I don't know. And like it stains. It really does stain your skin. If you get it on your fingers, smell your fingers after a Big Mac three days later and you'll smell the fucking special secret sauce. Also Chipotle, I feel like

I have to burn my fingers after like eating Chipotle. They put so many onions in goddamn Chipotle. It is crazy. I know. I literally feel like I have to go with a bleach cleaner on our counters and like not use gloves and just get my fingers coated in it. And even then, if your nails are long enough, the scent seeps under your nails and it just stays there. Like it gets like, you know how calcium or like,

- A vile amount of onions. - Yeah. - A vile amount. - Like, you know how, like, I was saying the other day, I was like, "Oh, I need to just get a new kit, like, litter box because Azul's piss has, like, entered the plastic." That's what I think Chipotle onions does to my nail beds. Like, my actual, like, hard nails, like, from the heat of the bowl while I'm eating and, like, grabbing the tortilla and stuff, it expands my nail bed from the heat so, like, it opens up layers so that the onions can go in. - The pores. Yeah. - And then I just have stinky fucking fingers. - Yeah, I know.

Yeah, right. Right. Right, right. I had something to say to add to this conversation. And then I started thinking about the inevitable takeover of AI. And I genuinely was like, how do I segue into this? But there is no segue. And it's just terrifying. And there's nothing we can do. And...

your creative job is going to be obsolete soon because, um, also that whole, nevermind. Oh, the, the picture thing where you could put your picture in it, like those things are a scam, like a weird boy to like fucking learn for,

- For AI to learn. - Psychological operation, bruh. No, but it literally is stolen artwork from DeviantArt is what I've been seeing. I don't know if that's like real, but from what I've been seeing, it's like their databases use DeviantArt as like, you know,

I just started doing this and I didn't realize it. But it's, yeah, it's like a foundation for like all the edits. and so like all those like drawn pictures are just derivative from like this deviant art. Also, although somebody could say that like Instagram and every other app is like data mining and like just taking our pictures and like selling them and like doing weird things with them. Like for some reason when it comes to something like that, I'm like, once I'm on Safari uploading an image, it's a wrap. Like, what like,

I don't even know if it's on a website, but do you know what I mean? Like when you're on Safari and you hit something and it,

- Apple thing, I was like use camera or like upload image. I'm like, you're not getting access to my fucking folders right now. 'Cause you know you have to scroll through for the good picture of yourself that you wanna put in there. So that fucking website is seeing all your photos. It's seeing your coochie, it's seeing your tits. - Yeah, well think about this. - We gotta put a pair of tits in that thing. - Yeah, let's see what happens. Let's see what happens. The web browser used within TikTok app can track every keystroke made on its user's phone.

That's fucking terrifying. We're all key logged. We're all key logged. Outside of the app? I think that's what it's saying. New York Times said it can track every keystroke in the phone. Well, I'm not on anything except Instagram anymore, which does make me...

so out of the loop. Like I literally don't know anything that's happening. - I have no idea what is going on anymore, which is kind of nice. - What I do, the only things I know is like the thing, like the, I'm also signed up for Apple News, but it's like, not like to my abide, it'll be like, "Threats of nuclear missiles." And I'm like, "Aah!" And then I swipe up and I go to Instagram and there's nothing new. And I'm like, "I gotta put my phone down and go to Fortnite right now." - I recently made, I think the best purchase I've ever made in my entire life.

I thought about the way my screen sounded and I was like, why can't I make that sound? - I recently made the best purchase I've ever made in my entire life and it is Apple News, but it's like- - No sponsorship. - No sponsorship, but it genuinely has changed my life in a very real way. Like instead of in the morning, like waking up and doom scrolling on my iPhone, I wake up and doom scroll on the Apple News app, but it is,

tailored to my preferences so I like avoid all of the war shit because I'm sorry like I don't need to see that it's scary it's terrifying like whatever I avoid everything other than the only gnarly thing that scares me that I watch is literally AI um

But everything else, it's just like science based and like happy news articles and stuff like that. So every morning instead of yeah, I just like read a couple articles in bed instead of laying there for two hours watching TikTok. I do need to tap back into watching movies and shows and like reading books because I since I don't have any social media on my phone other than Instagram and my Instagram like for like page like my following page because I don't look at my discovery page.

Oh, I love my discovery page. Oh, yeah, you're a freak. I was going to say, if you use your discovery page on Instagram, you are fucking weird. And, like, you are, like, living in a different space and realm of time than I am. And, like, that's so scary. No, we were going through my likes. I'm not going to do that now because it's, like, actually humiliating. But...

literally like he looks like it was like an ipad baby yeah no it was like sensory tiktoks and shit like that it was fucking weird but i just love that shit i love like that it was sensory tiktoks like cute little baby monkeys and then like i don't know what else lamps like i don't know like it was sound waves visualized which is like really pretty if you want to know i saw something today that i actually thought you would think was really pretty but this 3d artist like remakes like um

little cells in the body and one that he made, like lipids, literally look so lit. I was like, oh my God, I want to live on this. If I can find it. No, yeah. Wait, I want to fucking eat that. I want to fry it up and eat it. I bet it pops and it tastes like rose. It's a gusher. A gusher but natural flavored. So like shit. Ooh.

We'll insert those pictures so you can see them. There was something else I was going to say that I forgot.

Oh, yeah, but I have to get back to watching movies and reading books because all I do now is look at things to consume in terms of purchasing online. All I do is, like, look at clothes and, like, books and shoes. And I'm like, wow, like, why do I need this right now? Oh, but actually yesterday I found, like, a bunch of steals on things for you. And, like, I shouldn't say that. I should just, like, when it gets here, be like, oh, my God, like.

because I thought of you, but I have to make it apparent that it was you last night. And it's not necessarily a gift because I don't think it'll get here in time. But I was like, you know what?

I don't even care because this is good for him. I'm a good friend. I'm a good friend. Yeah, well, I bodied your gift for Christmas. I know. I've been really bad about Christmas. I fucking tore. I'm going to show Kai after this and he's going to freak the fuck out. And you're going to be like, damn, I cannot believe you've done this. I cannot believe you've done this. And I'm just such a good gift giver. All of a sudden, something came over me. It's because I taught you.

Yeah. I was so bad at giving gifts for so long. It was actually like comical how bad I was at gift giving. I don't know what to get anybody because I'm a selfish person and I only think about myself and I only think about what I want and I don't care what other people want. No, you know what it is? That's what I did. I got you guys both the fleshlight and then I was just like. I hate that you have to like just bleep it. I got you.

Because that is the funniest shit ever. It caught me so off guard. That's like the last thing I was expecting you to say. Like, what the fuck? Leave that, though. Don't leave that. Leave that as well. You know why it's hard for us to...

shot for each other in a friend group is because none of us say anything real. And then when we do, all of us are just listening, waiting for our turn to say the real thing. And then no one's saying anything. Yeah, it's just never it's not a real conversation ever. I actually don't I think that is the key to long lasting friendships is to talk about nothing forever. Because

I was thinking about that because we were like, why? How do we still have shit to talk about always? And why are we not bored of each other yet? We've literally been together for every day for five years. Like it makes no sense how we don't hate each other's guts. And it's because we talk about nothing. We make noise now. We make noise. Yeah. I like literally scream and making you laugh. And it's like.

funny it's like and like that was like the addition to us being like oh what do we talk about like in the car we don't we're we're really at a point of talking about nothing like what last night we were just making noise like you were just oh you were silent the whole fucking car ride and then pulling up to the house you just started making noise i was like bitch can you shut the fuck up like he was dead silent the whole car ride

You're mad. You're mad. So AI is like taking over. Should we keep talking about that? Because it's actually scaring the fuck out of me. And I know Kai has some good shit to say about it. Kai, I will let you talk about it. About AI? Yes. Because actually for once it was... Actually, not even for once because I do fear like AI and like... I fear technology advancing... Wait, hold on.

There's an explosion. Why was that an explosion and some car alarms going off? And the dogs barked. Why did the whole house shake? What the fuck was that? No, actually, what was that? That might have been like a gnarly car accident. But like that sounds terrifying. No, literally, what if the nuke just went off?

I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh, my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like I miss the taste.

What if the AI heard us talking about it on emergency intercom and launched the nukes? I did see a video of somebody pranking their family where they were like, they airplayed this thing that was like a nuke warning. And then some of the family members took out their phone and I was like, we are trapped. We are so trapped. We are like so bad. They're recording the nuclear bomb threat. In the midst of a nuclear warning. Your family is around you and we are recording the T.

a TV like we are trapped we're all gonna die we're all dying you don't need that video like that phone is going to be a pile

- I'm gonna get a pile of dust and the only thing left will be the Apple logo 'cause I know they made those things like nuclear proof. They want people to find the logo and be like, "What was this?" And like backtrack and be like, "Oh my God, Steve Jobs." - My fucking ego is so big that I would record that and while I'm recording it, be like, "Oh, this is gonna be like the thing that everybody watches in a hundred years, like in 50 years when they're talking about this specific nuclear explosion. Like everybody's gonna watch this video." Okay.

Tap into some AI shit. Well, I was thinking, did you guys know that they trained like a bunch of the models over like 10 years on the capture data? What is capture data? Yeah.

Oh, like the pictures taken with it. Yeah, yeah. Like I think that started eight years ago where you would click on the traffic light or whatever. And that is like the foundational basis upon which they trained all the AI now. Oh my God. So we're like creating our own enemies. Yeah. I think Google started that like 10 years ago or something. Ew. Do you know what he's saying? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you like. Well, just you're a girl and it's like technology. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's what I thought you were saying, but I was just making sure. It's just like. No, but I have my boy thinking cap on.

day so i'm just making sure i'm thinking about like pussy and like not washing my hands after i piss and like yeah like nfts yeah like stuff like yeah um but that's why that those fucking sites i'm like this is crazy and like tiktok filters and all of those things like they freak me the fuck out because i'm like this is fully just like you're tapping into something so that ai can fully learn like

Down to our like facial like we're teaching the robots exactly what we're trying to keep them from learning and knowing when they're doing the captures It's like are you a robot? No click this image and then the robots learning how to click this image Google's AI figured out where the G spot is Well, I must cuz it's like a super did you like test it out I

like i haven't gotten the opportunity to test that out as if it's men tell me um but yeah it scares me but then i also think i'm like then when i'm back outside like we were talking about it you were like talking to me about it and when i was driving my car i was like looking at it i was like okay ai this ai that but look out here i don't see an ai in sight yeah how do you know that

As far as I know and as far as listen, I'm back ignorance is bliss. Yep. Hear no evil say no evil speak no Hear no evil see no evil speak no evil and I'm like I don't who what is AI? Who is that? Like that doesn't have anything to do with me as far as I'm concerned at the very moment Yeah, so I'm like if I can go

to the farmers market and like look at fruit and be like, wow, this is a piece of fruit somebody grew. Like then I'm like, then that stuff doesn't exist. And I would like to think that it won't like actually destroy our future. But then I'm also like, thankfully, like, you know how in the eighties they were like, oh, we're gonna have flying cars in 2022. I think about that for us. I'm like, we don't have to necessarily like deal with that, which

Sorry to my 2004 babies that I was being mean to. That's your problem. Yeah, the world ending is your problem. I'm like, AI taking over is a you in your 30s. No, girl, this shit's going to take over in 10 years. Maybe it's only five years.

- This shit's taking over in 10 years. That's the scary part. - I will just go, but that's- - Watch how fast. - We've said that before. I will just go. - Watch how fast it happens. It's already happening so fast. Have your little fun now because it's not gonna be fun in 10 years. - But is it happening

happening that fast but I mean I will say over like I guess it is I will say all of the people I follow on Twitter using that shit they're sexy they're sexy in the art style like GPT-3 yeah oh it makes them super sexy and I'm not gonna go any further Instagram no I meant Twitter oh my god I meant Twitter we

-Wait, it makes them sexy because they're using it? -He's talking about his friends from North Carolina. -No. My NC friends. They post selfies in it and I'm like, "Damn, you look cool as a barbarian."

- Oh yeah, I feel like it makes-- - You look hot as a barbarian. - It makes everyone like a little bit more of a baddie. - Let me show you. - Yeah. - Like it's hard to in the light. - Yeah, 'cause it literally like, it gives them like chiseled features. - Yeah, but it's so subtle. I'm like, oh, I guess you are like really hot. - Let me show you . - So I don't even find the need to do that 'cause I look at photos of myself now and I'm like, I can see, I have the creative mind to like just think of that thing. - In your brain. - In my head. - Oh. - Now you see the vision. - Did you show the camera by accident?

- I don't give a fuck. - Damn, send me this. - No, like, do you see what I'm saying? - Yeah, I do now. That's crazy. - So you see the vision though? - Yeah, maybe this is the real like use case for AI. - I already know this is not what I'm gonna like. - It's translating. - Okay. - But don't, you can't say that there's like something there that you see.

There is something on this phone right now, yes. I do visually see something. Okay, bitch, you're done. See, that's what I desire the most. And when I go back to Texas, that's what I get. Except last time I tried and failed miserably. Okay, this one being the phone one, this is just like the logo for a coffee company or something. Like, this isn't very interesting. All of these are like logos for coffee companies. No, this one, he's a pilot pilot.

pilot chair. So maybe like a pilot company or something. And then I use this other fucking open AI shit that freaked me the fuck- no, Inya, stop. This is too much. You're gonna see that I left a like. See, I'm on my side account leaving likes and shit. But there's another AI

by OpenAI that is actually fucking terrifying. And I was playing with it all morning yesterday morning and I was making it literally write like comedy sketches and comedy bits about certain things. And it was writing them and they weren't funny at all. They fucking sucked balls. And actually, should we read one?

But like it was I'm not reading that. Fuck y'all. But I literally the prompt was I was like, write a comedy bit about like a fart so loud that it breaks the sound barrier. And it did. And it was awful. But the fact that it had the format, the formula and was having the ability to make jokes and write it in half a second is fucking insane. And this same app or this same AI, you can say like, hey, like I'm having trouble coding a part of my

app and then you can say like I don't fucking know code lingo like in Python write some shit or I don't fucking know about like

coding your app and it'll ride right 50 lines of code for you that is functional i have a friend literally actively designing an app and he's stuck on a couple parts and he wrote um he asked it to write code for him and he implemented it into his app and it legitimately worked and it was like such a big roadblock for him it's fucking crazy it's making everything obsolete ai has definitely made apps because like that app those apps where it's like the girl getting covered in

- Or you're like, AI. - Yeah, yeah. - You're running on a strip and you have to go through like plus 10 or times 30. Those ads you see. - They like fart and all the mud comes off of them. - Yeah, like that has to be AI. - 100%. - Like what human is writing that? - The profile picture app was written with GPT-3. - Really? - Yeah, I looked him up on Twitter and he had an AI write like 80% of that.

- See, it's obsolete. - Like the one that everybody's using? - Yeah, it's obsolete. - See, I don't even know the name of the app because I'm an individual and I like don't follow like things when people just do it. Why would I have sex with all of the cast of Mythbusters?

Like, do you agree or no? I 100% wholeheartedly agree. Why is Paramore on fucking Mythbusters? That's what I'm saying. She's literally the lead. She's literally nerd Hayley Williams. Why is no one talking about Hayley Williams being on fucking Mythbusters? Oh, I talk about it a lot. That's crazy. But yeah, the old man, he's giving like...

Not anymore. I saw him in a newer video and I was like, okay, you should stay back there. He's giving the kiddiest purring. He was wearing too tight of clothes. The kiddiest purring. Wait, which old man? The one with the mustache? I like the goatee one. The goatee one is sexy. Adam Savage? No, all of them are sexy, but in the OG one. Oh, not this one. I forgot about this one. Wait, Adam Savage? Yeah, he's lit, but not this one.

See, I, like, don't mind him that much. I, like, can't with him. He looks like one of those dogs. Do you know which one I'm talking about? Yeah. Like, you know which dog I'm talking about. He's really red, but... My little strawberry. Hi!

My little cherry. Wait, one of them is like missing. Like there's, oh, this motherfucker. Okay. Like now that I'm looking like maybe he's like 2003 hot. I know. He like, oh, the guy that looks like he was in some 41. Yeah. Yes.

very scary. I don't remember seeing it. That is so funny and I cannot believe I got that reference. Like okay he is like lit like actually. He's just cute. He's just cute. He's just got that personality. Yeah. Should we talk about getting married off by your parents as a rite of passage in the bible belt or should we not touch that? Or should we talk about how it is actually insane how important getting engaged is to like a huge part of

society and that freaks me the fuck out like we were watching this person's videos and like this couple got engaged and it was a huge thing and like it's always a huge thing when you see it and like on the internet like people are like oh my god I can't believe this happened like here's like the HDR like drone footage of it happening and it's like oh my god oh my god also like how are you like getting a nice speech from your partner and like not hearing that and being like what the fuck is happening and like

They have drones in Fortnite now. They also have drones delivering food in Granberry. You can order Chick-fil-A via fucking drone and it will drop it off in your goddamn backyard. No, but you could literally shoot down a drone in fucking Fortnite now. The progression of this conversation in the last one minute is insane. Well, I was going to also say me texting Inya at 3 a.m. saying I love you is like a foolproof sign that I'm suicidal. Oh, I didn't see that. I didn't text you.

Weddings are so fucking not weddings. Actually. Okay. Here's the thing I can get with a wedding because it's an excuse to throw a big party Like it's an excuse to have a huge fucking party to get all dressed up to go have fun like and whatever It is like a little odd that the basis of it is like wear a cuff

couple like okay we've known you've been a couple for 10 fucking years like you're not about to like rewrap it up and be like oh my god guys we're dating like no like we know bitch we know you're together like that's the weirdest part to me with an engagement is because people are like okay like I'm just like we've been together for four years like I need to get engaged I'm like that's not going to change the fact that y'all fight every

You're poisoned by negativity and anger and you need some cognitive behavioral therapy and just to reframe your mind and see the beauty in life because once you start looking for the good it starts getting good and beautiful. It's not gonna change my opinion on you know who I just thought of you know the picture of Shane Dawson like for

I literally edited him one time to be like ginormous. Like I made him like... I literally crawled around and made him like... I wish I could find that fucking photo. Like made him like nine feet tall, but like crouching. Does that make sense? Yeah. But... That fucking photo is so... I remember... That's so real though because like they would be the motherfuckers to have like a big drone, but it's just like weirdly dark.

No, it's literally such a sketchy ass vibe in that goddamn photo. But the craziest thing is in my 2021 like year recap thing I posted on TikTok, I snuck like that in there. And like a lot of people are like, why the fuck did you put the Shane Dawson photo in there? Like, cannot believe we're standing Shane Dawson in 2021 and shit like that. Just people who didn't know who I was. And then I literally just banned the word Shane Dawson from the comment section because I'm like, I'm not dealing with you freaks right now.

- I'm really not. I'm really not. - The weird thing about engagements is like, okay, like, so you're just rewrapping up your relationship. Now it's legal. So it's gonna be way harder for you to get out of it. Which like, that is like, I know that's a negative thought, but like breakups already hard. Like, why are you, why are you like, you're really putting your fucking like line in the sand.

You're re-wrapping it. People love each other enough to do it. And then you wait. Like, people take so long to have their wedding. I'm like...

chop chop i'm not keeping up like i don't get it for four plus months i don't get it because i don't think i'm capable of like loving another well that's different because you have issues yeah i'm like a normal person who just like i but like i get why people get it do you know what i mean like i get like why you want that and strive for that because it's just like it's cute yeah i and i understand that but i'm like i guess it really is because i never grew up

You always also for you. You have also always, always been like anti marriage, like not in like a negative way, just in a way that you're like, I can show my love in other ways without like a legal fucking paper. Like, yeah, but that's because I'd never grew up around anybody who was like,

could or was getting it done legally. So I'm like, you're just married, babe, you've lived together for 10 years. Like in my head, you're married. Like you don't have to, you don't have to make it literally like a fucking legal Olympic to break up. Like you can just be married and normal. I'm just gonna whoever I end up with. I'm like, what are you mine? Am I yours? No, babe. Forever. Forever.

I'll make you my husband. If it doesn't work out in my other routes of interest, in my other options, you could be my husband. Okay, see, that's like my biggest plan is to write. That's why I've been friends with you for so long. I've been putting up with all the bullshit and I will be your gay best friend until the end. But like really what I'm after is that pussy. That's really all I've been here for. Let's talk about it.

Um, wow. So, damn, you're really committed to the bit because, like, you're having a lot of sex with men. Yeah, because I can't... I don't want to be... I don't want to be... You don't want to get caught. Yeah, I don't want to get caught. So I'm just, like, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.

- So you're just gonna cheat on me until I like-- - See, the thing is is there are people out there that believe that like-- I actually think there's people in my family that probably think like we're like a thing without the label and shit. Like, I guarantee my grandma, Jonita, like actually thinks we're a thing. - Oh, 100% because there's no reason-- - And I'm just letting her believe it. - There's no reason for her to be obsessed with me the way she is unless she thought I was in her family. - Yeah. - Like, she-- she-- like, I am family to her. But like, I will say, we talk about this all the time, but like,

In a way, that's how I see it too, though. Because I'm like, Madeline's niece. That's my niece. And there's no going around it. But that also could be like, I kind of grew up with Madeline too. So now I just have a parasocial. Not even parasocial. I literally have an intimate relationship with Madeline.

in a way that i'm like that's my the way my grandma texts me more about anya and says tell anya i love her then she says i love you to me it's fucking insane and have you even you've met her once in person at the celebration oh yeah at the party big party yeah through the party though she made the party she did she really did she turned up she made it a party me saying she

She's the girl at the party. She killed my brother is what it is. Um, yeah, I've only met her once, but I just have that effect on people. Yeah. I meet people and they're like, I'm obsessive. No, that's literally real as fuck. Like yesterday we met two people that we've known for a while. Um,

and I could feel everybody's energy in that conversation gravitating towards you. Not in a bad way, but I was just like, damn. And naturally like, Inya just commands like an audience. - I'm just charismatic, I'm sexy. Also my big tits help because people are like,

- It's hard to look away from. - They just have an energy of their own. - It's really hard to look away from. - And there's just like a tension that brings people to them. And it is because I shove magnets within the skin layers and then I throw air tags on everybody. So they're just like a magnetic pull. - Yeah, okay, so the thing is, is I actually do need to- - I'm gonna get my nipples replaced with air tags. - Don't do that, don't do that.

Your body will reject them. I want a belly button piercing so bad so it can just lay in my disgusting fucking furry ass hairy belly. But I am...

Need to address this because it's actually like getting out of hand a little bit but on the fucking subreddit Someone was like I've been here for three years and I still don't know if Drew is gay or straight bitch I'm fucking straight like I'm actually fucking straight It's actually annoying at this point that like you would even go there like also for you to like assume that like a gay man can't just indulge in Grindr and like

explore his like intimacy like and you're you're telling me a lactose intolerant person can't go down the milk aisle in the grocery store i'm just looking yeah that's like someone on grinder was like i'm straight by the way and the dude responding back was like um this is grinder babe or something like that and he was like oh so you're telling me lactose intolerant people can't go down the milk aisle and just look like in the grocery store like wow okay

That's a really good one. You're right. Right. Whoa. Oh, Mr. Beast is fucking awesome. We were both like taking a moment to look at our notes. Um,

MrBeast is actually fucking awesome. Like, we've already said this and gone on, like, a pro MrBeast rant, which is actually fucking annoying. Like, actually, I was gonna be like, "Why hasn't he seen us talk about him?" But we talked about him once and also he's, like, the biggest YouTuber ever. - 45 minutes into the episode. - So everybody is talking about him at all moments. - Yeah. - But, like, why have-- where is my MrBeast moment? - There's something special about us. There's something special and more special. - Yeah, like, what about me? Like, put me in the box.

Literally put me in the box. He is so good. Really last video. Are you good? Wait, how many videos does he release a month like maybe one or two? But his last video made me and in yeah, so happy the 100 kids versus 100 I teared up the first time we watch it and then the second time we watched it I cried. Yeah here for spoilers. That's okay. Okay spoilers alerts. Mr. B spoilers

We don't spoiler alert anything else we ever do, but for some reason we choose to spoiler Mr. Beast video. It is more culturally important than any movie I've seen. You know what it is too? I think why that video made us so emotional is because we have fully gotten to the age that we cry at everything that is a tearjerker on our iPhones. Yeah.

and on TV, like I literally like at any site of like a parent child relationship being sweet, I will cry and kill myself and like heal over and die and like roll over. Like I literally will pass away.

And that episode, so basically what it was, it was 100 kids versus 100 adults. And you're like, that's already interesting. And then we're like, how is that legally possible? But it's because it's like the parents versus kids. So it's like parents signing waivers that their kids can stay in these fucking boxes for a week. And like the parents are involved too. So like the parents are involved. Dude, this one was actually kind of crazy because they buried kids in coffees.

They buried, like, 70 kids. It was weird as fuck. Mr. Dease is, like, actually treading the line. He's pushing it. Like, he is pushing it. But it's just, like, kids versus parents, whatever. And at the end, like, at one point, they, like, let them talk because the boxes are next to each other. And they put a pipe through and the kids talk to each other. And the kids, like, start crying talking to their parents and the parents, too. And, like, some of the kids call for their parents and their parents aren't in the box, like, anymore trying to win. So the kids get really upset and sad. And, like, it's just so, like, emotional.

emotionally like this seems objectively fucked up what are you talking no no no you have to watch it just describing kids being tortured what's sweet in it is you know like the kids and parents because then at the end a bunch of the kids that were left a bunch of their parents are in the box still like they they all stayed in these also box makes it sounds tiny but it's a building

Like, it's a huge building. I was imagining, like, literally a coffin. No, no. They were buried in coffins underground. Wait, what is going on? No, it's literally, like, he built, like, two, like, huge building-shaped, like, boxes. And it's like, stay in the box challenge. Like, whatever. It is odd that there's a port-a-potty in there because I know it stunk. Yeah.

because it was like four days and I bet they had someone going in there cleaning it because I'm like those kids are shitting their ass off they're feeding everybody oatmeal every day like their metabolism is kicking right now but it's just sweet because at the end they all like come out and they like hug each other and it's sweet and like the kids and adults who like both stayed in it are crying they're like you did it you did it oh my god and they're like just all so proud because like you know before they left that morning to like go to the competition they sat at the table and they were like okay

No matter what, stay in there. And I'm going to stay in there too. So that like, no matter what happens, like we will walk away winning this. That was just sweet because it's like, aw. I feel like it's...

Very animalistic. I feel like the final Mr. Beast video is going to be Mr. Beast bailing out the United States in the next financial crisis or something. That would be fucking lit. Hopefully. Literally, why is he so lit? What is it fucking called? He's kind of scary. In a way, there's something up.

Yeah. No, me and Kai have talked about that forever. Adam Roper, or what is his name? Mark Rober. Mark Rober and Mr. Beast have some skeletons in their closet that no one is talking about. They have to. Mark Rober is. Oh.

That guy's awesome. I love Mark. I actually get excited like a baby when I see he drops a video because he'll like make squirrels like do these competitions and stuff in his backyard. Yeah. It's really sick. I've seen like the guy who like feeds all his raccoons, but I haven't seen that. Oh, no, no. It's like really high budget science based content. Maybe if I saw it.

He worked on like a rover to NASA and then started like a YouTube channel that's science-based and there's... That's good. There's some evil energy there that I cannot explain. I cannot explain it. No, I'm just kidding. He's such a good guy. He really is. So nice. That's like the part of me that like fears power is like there's something up with Mr. Beast. Yeah. But then the part of me that I'm like he's just like a dude who's literally like

Like, yeah, you know what? You go stinky. 'Cause I kind of have a feeling he stinks. But I'm like, you go stinky. - But Blackstone Reality, real estate worth $125 billion.

owns 125 billion dollars of apartment complexes all across America and have been buying it up ever since 2008, probably prior, while they're collapsing and so are all the other make a real estate companies. So like, just wait. Just wait. Everything's gonna go back to how it was supposed to be where we can all own our own stuff. Well, I think if you used your phone and text somebody horizontally that you're a fucking killer.

Wait, text on horizontal. Like, because you can like turn off the thing and like text on your phone like this. Oh. I think actually ergonomically it's probably way better. I thought you were saying me doing that and like that I'm a killer. No, but like, like that's like an old people thing. This is fucking insane. Like, why are you like turning your phone and like using it like that? I swear when the iPhone first came out, people would do that. No, because

- 'Cause that was like a show off thing. - This is like a feature. - Like, oh, like you think I don't have a sidekick? Look at this. - Yeah, exactly. - 'Cause like that's when it was like lit, but like, ow. - Actually recently I have been using my phone more often in horizontal mode than vertical mode because I've just been watching so much YouTube because I'm trying to get off of every other social media app. Yeah. - That's normal watching like the YouTube video like that, but like texting like that? Like if you got off the YouTube video and you were able to type and look up videos, I'm like,

Get an iPad. Like, get on your iPad. Like, why are you on your iPhone like that? Even on your... Like, if you text on your iPad, why are you doing that? Why are you doing that? Also, if you have the keyboard attachment to your iPad...

-You caught me doing that last night. -What the fuck were you doing? I was sending audio messages. I-- Literally, it was so funny. I was like, "Damn, this is like the first night in a very long time that I haven't been super, like, emotionally depressed and sad before going to bed and thinking about everything and freaking the fuck out." And I was like, "Damn, like, I feel so good and happy and I love life." And I was just, like, spreading that joy with my really close friends, Hunter and Tag. And I was like, "Dude, life is beautiful. All you have to do is just, like, love

that's it like be happy and then and you barged in with like the most gnarly like anxiety stress inducing conversation i've ever had in my entire fucking life and then i was like i was like oh like i don't care like i can see the beauty in life and i i love everything and then just i like kept thinking about it and spiraling granted it pissed me off not you

- Yeah. - The conversation at hand. - But, you know, I had to do it. Like, I just like, I could sense from the living room, I was like, Drew is silent and happy and I need to go over there and I need to kill that joy. - Yeah, yeah. - I just need to remind you that like life is not evil. - Evil, there's nothing good that happens. It's a pit of suffering.

Why am I like syphilis? Syphilis? You're syphilis? Syphilis. The guy who rolls the ball up the hill. Syphilis? Yeah, it's syphilis. Yeah. You are serving syphilis. Sisyphus? Sisyphus. Sissy fist. Oh. Oh.

That was good. Candace Owens needs to keep my name out her fucking mouth. For real. She has not said your name in so long. She needs to chill the fuck out. Like, Candace Owens. Like, yes, I'm a man. Yes, I wear dresses. Like, you don't have to post it on your fucking IG story. What was the video? Was it the video of you in the living room and my big ass dress twirling? Is that? There was one of me frolicking around in one of your dresses in your bedroom. I love this bad girl.

She posted and so I posted that as a rebuttal the one of me spinning in the dress And I was like, yeah, like I don't give a fuck but I was lumped in with like Harry Styles and other uber famous people at the point at that time so I was like damn like

she sees me in this dress and thinks like harry styles yeah or things like oh like big influence like i can twist it to feed my ego somehow um but that bitch really did post me and i don't give a fuck like she thinks you're going to hell literally cannot she needs to keep my name out of her mouth i'm not fucking playing you need to keep your mouth on my mouth come here come here come here i love you so much and i want you to know that

How come I can't smoke on a plane, but they could cook that stinky fucking fish up there? Yeah, true. Like what? Like literally, what is me smoking like a little bit going to do? If anything, you need me to smoke on the plane to eradicate the fucking fish smell. I smoked on a plane before. I think everybody like hits something on a plane. Somebody tried to build a bomb on the plane that I was on from New York. I do not believe you.

I'm being serious. How did they do that? That's a shame. Okay, I don't know if it was a bomb, but like I looked over and this guy came out and a ton of smoke came out of the bathroom. And then the flight attendant was like... Dude, no, he shit. He just shit a cartoon shit. It's the new Kiki Palmer SNL bit. He has fucking baby smoking cigarettes inside of him. Okay, so the flight attendant went over and left. Yeah, the flight attendant was like, excuse me, did you light something on fire? And he was like...

I have no idea what you're talking about. And there's just like a shit ton of smoke coming out. She's like, come over here. Look at this. Look at this. And it like... She was like yelling at him in front of everyone. And he just would not admit to clearly like... Hotboxing the fuck out of the bathroom. He had like a box mod. Like it literally seemed like he had a fog machine in there. Because he opened it and he was like, I have...

literally no idea what you're talking about that's fucking maddox one time on a plane he was i forget what i think they were flying to missouri and it was madeline my mom steven my dad and maddox going to missouri and maddox it was a completely empty flight like they were the only five people on this airplane and maddox is like my nine-year-old nephew he was probably eight or seven at the time he went to the bathroom and like disappeared for like 30 minutes and everybody was like

Where the fuck is Maddox? And then he came back and he just sat down and was completely silent for the rest of the flight. And then my sister went up to go to the restroom and Maddox had gone into that restroom and destroyed it. Like...

soaked like toilet paper in like water and threw it at the sink and was trying like flushing the toilet paper down this like the toilet as it like goes and like he had fucked it up and he completely lied he was the only person that went into that bathroom the entire flight other than Madeline and he is still to this day committed to that lie and he will not admit that he destroyed the bathroom

And it was so bad that the flight attendant was just like, no, this bad seems like off limits. You have to use the other one. And like he lied. And like, it's hilarious. Like, I don't give a fuck. Dude, I love his lying. No, you didn't. I mean. He got his iPad taken away. No, he did. Like he got in a lot of trouble. I was going to say he got his ass beat, but he didn't get his ass beat. Well, he did because I beat his ass. Yeah. With words. The flight attendant beat his ass. Yeah. She broke. But.

I don't know what I was going to say. Oh, I love when kids lie. Like once kids get to the age where they just start lying, it's so good. Someone the other day told me that actually kids like lying early is a good sign of their intelligence because. I was just like itching behind my ear and I was getting the motion right.

I fucking hate you. But it's like a sign of intelligence because like if a kid can sit here and articulate like a situation to be like, oh, how can I frame this situation that like it will benefit me? If they start doing that really young, that is kind of scary. But like it's a sign of intelligence because if like your four year old can be like, OK, that thing was wrong. I'm going to say that I did this instead so that like it doesn't fall back on me. Then it's like showing that the kid has like

can just like keep up like okay like i know this i know that i know that that's but also maybe like terrifying i like kids when they like lie about stupid shit like that like him coming to the seat dead silent and just being dead silent because like he knew like yeah he was like i shouldn't you know it's awesome to think about as he got it that he did the first mark of bad action was like that felt good that was fun that was fucking like he probably still

that it was like squirting the soap and not taking it and it just fucking shooting it was like he's he's like a well-behaved kid and this was like a purge for him like he's never done anything like this ever but like it was apparently like brutal and gnarly and cannot believe and like literally just so bored you also put him on a fucking metal tube probably with no movies on his ipad he's like

Yeah, and he probably didn't take his medicine that day. Dude, it was just, like, a lot, like, apparently for my parents and Madeline and Steve. But it's so funny him getting in trouble when he does something, like, stupider that he shouldn't be doing because he actually is, like, really intelligent. Like, I actually believe that he is, like, super smart and way too smart for his own good. He's, like, way too smart for his own good. And every time he gets in trouble, like...

it is so funny to watch the way he reacts to it because he like shut down shuts down gets super red like doesn't cry but like is like a complete like you can see how embarrassed he is that he like did that because he knows better yeah i just like when kids know better um my cousins are white it's funny you guys are funny people

So I'm sorry that I like to laugh. Tomorrow, don't even bother clocking in. Oh my God. Yeah, we're recording like 18 episodes in a row for you guys. It's going to be so hard.

Well, with that being said, should we hop into some media? - Yeah. - Media-ish media. - What if I put my head in the oven like Sylvia Plath? - I would actually love that. - I would fucking slam it so hard so the heat isn't what would kill you. You would die from decapitation. - I would love if you did that. - I'm gonna save that for the 69th episode. - Damn, you know what was really... Dude. - Damn, you looking fine. - What? - 'Cause that body like, whoa.

You know what sucked is my family stores like oil, like used oil. Like if they like fried something, they'll like if it's a big thing of oil, they'll just store it in the oven. And so many times as a fucking kid, I'd be like, I'm going to make cookies and turn on the oven and I just burn all the oil. Smoke out the house. And like I open the oven to go put my cookies in and I get like fucking burnt.

bombed by like a bunch of like smoke um from burnt oil or like i would when i would go take the oil i would drop all the oil at the bottom and be like fuck i'm like i don't want to fucking clean it and i would just like put it back and then it would still burn and then like that burned oil would burn over and over and over again every time i use it burn burn these nuts well here's my um i

I have a note that is just ha ha ha ha ha. Okay, you're a freak. My media of the week is Boys a Liar by Pink Pantherous. I genuinely love that song. I have listened to that song 38 to 45 times in the last two days. Because it's literally only two minutes long. It is the only song she has listened to. When you put that into time, I've only listened to it for 20 minutes, but that's like 80 minutes of listening. Damn.

Damn, damn, damn. And honestly, that's the only media I'm going to give you guys today. Actually, my other song is, and this is my last immediate, is Take a Bow by Madonna. Such a good fucking song. I've been listening to like a lot of Brazilian funk yesterday. I mean, Jesus Christ. I've been listening to a lot of Brazilian funk recently, which is like,

the most lit music I think ever created. I haven't heard like anything that makes me want to like move more than that music. I don't have any specific songs off the top of my head because it's just like a bunch of like random MCs and DJs on SoundCloud. Like it's like a playlist that a friend made for me. But yeah, just look into it and find your own shit. It's really, really fun. And then...

still on my like schizophrenic music taste like i made a playlist of just like all the music that like genuinely like there's no reason i should be listening i don't know what this song is but like that's not a real song and i love this i'm just so into it right now and i cannot get out of that hole um but like an example is i think i already said all this shit i know a lot of my media stuff i've been listening to already so or i've said already so i'm just like

I'm taking a foul silence. Amiga es una lastima que alguien... I don't know how the last word is cut off by arrow. Gross. Rave rats. But that's like a 10-minute song. I don't fucking know. And I haven't been watching movies. I want to go see Bones and All or the new Pixar movie Strange World. Let's go see Bones and All tomorrow night. Yeah, I'm down. I want to see Strange World. Maybe we'll invite...

our friend who we're supposed to see tomorrow who i don't know how we're gonna make that work oh are we actually yeah i have to hit that motherfucker up because i can't today because i have literally after this i have to run to a shoot um and then i have the gym after that so damn i don't know why i'm so i'm fucking nervous um but anyways you're always nervous to meet new people yeah i hate i hate having to like

yeah, I don't hate it. I love it. But like, it's so fucking hard for me to like, be comfortable around a new person because like, I'm just like, like, just, I don't know. I don't know. I get too in my head. But I have been playing I haven't been watching movies. I want to see strange world bones and all. But I've been playing the new Pokemon game, which like, if you just look at like, internet reviews of that game, like it's

looks like it's the worst game ever created, but I actually played it. And there is a reason why it sold 10 million copies in the first week. It is, I personally think like the best Pokemon game ever made. And like, I hate when people say this about triple a billion dollar gaming companies, whether like it's a step in the right direction, but like, it really is like, if they could just figure out the graphics, it would be a masterpiece. But like,

I don't even know if you could run good graphics other than fucking Breath of the Wild, which was in development for 15 fucking years on the Switch. Like, I don't know. I have my qualms and thoughts about it. But Pokemon Violet and Scarlet is a really great game and you should play it. And I already beat it. I beat it in like four days and then I just have kind of been chilling on it. It's like the first game in a while that I like am okay just like picking up my Switch and playing randomly.

Alright, well, thank you guys so much for listening. Yeah, thank you for tuning in. I hope you have a gorgeous weekend and yeah. If you can get us number one on Spotify, I will make an OnlyFans. I will make an OnlyFans and I will show my cock. Let's get me number one on Spotify. Thank you guys.