Drew’s twin sister makes him cry
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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

I got it this time. Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Today, I am by the two scariest people ever who came out of the same vagina. Yes. I'm really scared. Vagina. Vagina.

Are you going to do an introduction or like what? Introduce yourself. Who are you? Who are you? I'm Drew's sister. Twin sister. What's your name? Madeline.

Okay. Ew, y'all act like you just met. I don't even know who this woman is. We just found her. She was a doppelganger who a fan took a picture of and we were like, we need her on. We just picked her up from Skid Row. By the way, I laugh a lot. So just know I'm going to laugh a ton. Yes. That's like really fucked up actually. We don't like that over here. Just don't laugh. Just don't laugh. Try not to

Those have never been good. Like, in the history of Try Not To Laugh Challenge compilations on YouTube, they have never been good. I've never once laughed at a Try Not To Laugh compilation. Okay. Unless I'm in it. Unless I'm in it. This conversation is giving, like, would you wear, like, a...

like closing a dead person war. What does he say? Oh, hell no. Hell no. There are these two guys who are like, I don't even know if they actually had a podcast. They did. But we couldn't find full episodes of them. It was like snippets on TikTok and like they would sit across the table from each other and the questions they were asking each other were so bad. Like they weren't good. And it was like, would you ever wear like, like vintage clothes? And the other guy was like, like clothes a dead person wore. And it was like, oh hell no.

Oh, hell no. And that was the entire clip. Were they trolling? They were being dead serious. And it's literally one of my favorite TikToks ever because the dude, the way he said, oh, hell no, is so fucking funny. Like, it's so monotone. Yeah. But welcome back to Emergency Intercom. This is my lovely twin sister, Madeline. There you go. We thought...

We might bring her on and just share a couple funny stories about me and see where it goes, see where this episode takes us. How are you enjoying LA this time? It's not your first time here. No. We had fun. It was with our daughter for the first time. I know. We have a almost seven-month-old daughter. My twin sister is literally pregnant. She's literally mother. Yeah, I'm here wearing a fucking Supreme Box logo shirt. I'm not pregnant, by the way. You said that I was pregnant. Oh.

Sorry, wasn't I supposed to say that? Wasn't I supposed to say that? You're so annoying. Do you wait? They have, should we cut that? No one knows yet. No one knows. It's triplets. They're getting a TLC show. Maybe you know something that I don't know. No, because I predicted your pregnancy. You did. Drew was first to know that I was pregnant.

I literally knew. I was calling everybody. I was like, something is seriously off in the world right now. There is a weird-ass energy going on. And I called everyone. I even called Steven, and I was like, is Madame fucking pregnant? And Steven probably was bone white. No, we were both like,

Yeah, we were just shocked. Were y'all not saying anything because you wanted to do like a thing where you tell everybody? No. We were waiting to make sure that everything was good with the pregnancy first because you normally wait like 12 weeks before you announce. Wait. Oh, what?

Wait, we both got a clap. We both got a clap. Oh, we both got a clap this episode. Drew has an ongoing joke that I like to get in the clap before him and I like low-key do. I like to get the clap in and I like to be like, welcome back to the sub. Okay, why didn't I get to do the clap? Clap.

Clap for the heavyweight champ, me. Couldn't do it all alone, we. Is 12 weeks three months? Yeah. Damn, that's a long time to not say anything. You don't typically find out until you're about five, six weeks, so it's not really that long. But yeah, we wanted to wait until actually our eight-week appointment to start telling family and friends. But we told you before we even went to the...

Because I'm special. Doctor, right? Yeah, because I'm really special. Because you were in town and we didn't want to tell you not in town. Yeah, you wanted to tell me in person. And you were about to leave and so we were like, shoot, we got to do it now. Yeah, I had just gotten back from a road trip from Austin. And on the way to Austin, I was like, holy shit, she's pregnant because you were demonic in Missouri. It was crazy. It was scary boots. I was literally afraid of her like...

Everyone was scared. And then when I got to Texas, you were kind of scary still. And I was like, okay, there's some hormones or some shit going on in there. He's normally the dramatic one. I'm not normally dramatic.

You say, oh, hell no. Me, dramatic? What? This is crazy. You literally replied like that guy, oh, hell no. You literally are dramatic. I'm literally not. Y'all are psycho. So for the roles to be switched was scaring.

him. Yeah, because normally he's the crazy one. But I also do, I can just sense the energy of people shifting. Like, I'm always like, there was an energy behind that comment. There was something there. Like, I can tell when someone is being like, slick with me or if they mean it for real. Like, I can just tell these things and I could tell something was off. I'm just like a very intuitive person. Like, I just know things. I know, you're a schizophrenic.

I see a lot of things a lot of people don't see like people and voices in my room and stuff so it's like really it's actually really fascinating oh you're a medium yeah you should have that arc like you getting people to pay you to talk to spirit I probably like actually could contact it because I literally would go on live stream for like three months

just doing Ouija board shit, like there's something seriously wrong. I'm haunted. Wait, at the beginning of like, because both of y'all started YouNow, like that's where you started, right? Or you started on GIFBoom. There was an app before Instagram was even big called GIFBoom. Parker Cahill.

Yeah. Got big on there. Yeah, it was basically just like GIFs and you would go on the, what was it? Popular page? Was it? I'm pretty sure it's called Popular page. But you would literally just make GIFs. Like there was no sound or anything and you would like make memes. I think I vaguely remember making like a GIF or two because like did it ever get to a point where you could upload a video and it would make a GIF?

Yes. Okay, I think, like, I definitely used it, like, for things like that, but I never knew Gift Boom was, like, people were using it the way y'all were. I had my first, like, fan account, like, on there. Like, it was crazy. I was so jealous, too. Yeah, Drew, I would shout...

drew out yeah it was crazy it was crazy i was jealous as fuck because i was like damn like i want this like badly i mean i she is like the reason like i ever got into any of this shit because you were doing all those youtube videos like putting me dude there are so many fucking nasty gross cringy videos of me like one that i vividly remember is like me putting like a hot dog on a

screwdriver no it was like a paper plate and a hot dogger I don't even know what we were doing but we filmed YouTube videos when we were like 11 yeah it was crazy we were little and it was like og og YouTube and like it was like the part of YouTube where like it was just your homies like how like normcore people use Instagram now like they just post to their friends or post to their Twitter just like to their homies like that's how YouTube was where it was like

a group of like eight of your friends all posting YouTube videos back and forth to each other. And I remember you doing it. And then my buddy Hunter and his brother would make YouTube videos on their MacBook with like the MacBook effects. And I remember being like, holy shit, like this is so sick. Like I didn't know you could do this shit. And then, yeah, then we just like, you kept doing YouTube and then you did GIF Boom. Yeah.

And then went to Instagram. Because we knew a girl in our town that had like 300,000, which was equivalent to probably like, I would say 5 million. Yeah, that is insane. Probably more. That's like she was the most famous person on the app. No, she was. And she was from our town. I remember like fangirling over her or whatever. She was the OG meme girl. She was the one with the boobs and the shirt. The like, hey girls, keep your, what is it?

something like hey girls you should know keep your boobs in your shirt or something like that something along

the lines. But I feel like that was like the first like viral thing that like everybody knew about it. She went on Dr. Phil. Like, yeah, she was like, she was the girl. And I remember you were like, like friends with her because like you had like Facebook or something. Yeah. And you had like 40,000 followers and we would go to like football games like when we were like sixth grade and you and her would like key. It was like really interesting. It was before like

What was her name? Sabrina Tamayo. Sabrina Tamayo. It was before that like followers were even cool. Yeah, it was back when it was still like, okay, they're probably all fucking like freaks who want to kidnap you and kill you anyways. How a normal girl takes a cute picture, how I take a cute picture. Wow.

I have so many of those. You know what's crazy is I wrote down in my notes last night while I was looking through. Sorry to cut you off. Girls, you should know that your boobs go inside your shirt. This realm of debate is mad.

Poor baby. We just woke Luna up. Also, if you need to go Tinder, you can. Stephen's dad's got it. No, my mom is in there. No, but Stephen, we talk about it all the time how it's crazy that Stephen is an actual good husband. It's not just, what is it, kinship or whatever? You're not kin-keeping. You're just literally keeping the whole thing alive by yourself. Also, I said to Orion last night,

I genuinely think there needs to be a study done about even infants and their irritability because I feel like you and Steven are such chill, calm parents. Mm-hmm.

that that's why she's such a fucking happy baby because so far she has had no examples of like a tumultuous attitude yet so she's just gonna be a calmer baby and more easily swayed into being happy like she doesn't learn that like type of behavior i don't know yeah like she doesn't see y'all yelling and raising your voice and like continuing that out for long periods or like ever so i feel like babies are just smart enough animals to be like okay wait like

if they're laughing and playing, I'm just going to laugh and play. Because I feel like a lot of parents get angry. I'm tearing up thinking about her. I literally love that child. Like, it's my own. Because it's like, I think it's like part of my DNA, like, or some shit. Like, we share DNA or something. Like, it freaks me out when I look at her. I'm like, oh, that's like my child. Like, it's really, really bizarre, y'all. I wish I could explain it. But yeah, no, Madeline and Steven are like great fucking parents. Like, it...

I mean, it's not shocking to me, but like when y'all were having a child, I was like, damn, they're like young. But like you even said growing up, you were always like, I'm like meant to be a mother. Like people know, like Madeline knew she was meant to be a mother. Like she was always so good with like the neighborhood kids or like our parents, friends, children. Like you were always taking care of babies. And also you were just like raised around children. Like, I don't know. It's crazy seeing you like.

be mother like you're literally mother and it's fucking crazy that there's a child in our frat house like this i know a child in this apartment literally freaks me out i'm like what is it doing here we literally last night we're watching um fortnight like we're watching y'all's like neighbor

Yo, yo, Savage Mike. Savage Mike. Shout out Savage Mike. He's so good at that game. It's actually jarring. People were that good at that game. But we stayed up watching it. And then Luna woke up to be fed. And we were sitting there while you fed Luna watching that. She's just watching. And she's just watching. And I was like, dude, this is crazy. This is literally a baby watching Fortnite.

When Madeline and Steven aren't looking, well, one, I'll give her like a cigarette and a beer because she just like deserves it. She's had a long hard day. She has a really stressful life. Yeah. And then...

give her a macrodose screen time for her so I like put on like super cuts of like TikTok compilations sped up 300 times speed so she's like watching like five hours worth of TikTok in like three seconds just so like she understands the culture a little bit but we balance it out and we hand her like Sylvia Plath the bell jar and she's over

- I'm already reading the bell jar. - Believe it or not, but I do look at her and I'm like, oh, she's a genius baby. But every parent, I mean, look, I'm saying like I'm a parent. - I know, you're saying it like it's your kid. You're like, every parent thinks our kid is so gorgeous. - No, but it's crazy.

I look at her and I'm like, oh my God, she's mine. - Do you feel like an intense change in your character or do you feel like there's just like a addition to your life? - I think it's just, yeah, more an addition. I feel like it's made mine and Steven's connection way more like strong. - Really? - Yeah, it's weird. Like we are on a whole different wavelength now. - Oh, that's so sweet. - And I know that's not the situation for a lot of parents and that's really sad. - Yeah, 'cause children broke my family.

No, I'm just kidding. Guys, I'm kidding. But it's true. It's not the norm for some people, but for us, it really is crazy. I don't know. I think we're just such a good team. Why are you bragging? You're

You're literally just sitting there bragging. No, I'm just kidding. But that's how I would say it's kind of changed is I feel like our relationship has gotten better for sure. But like I said, that is not the normal. Kids do not always fix everything. Yeah, don't do that. Don't have kids. A lot of people need to hear that. A lot of people need to take that on. Like, oh my God, I hate you. You know what we should do is have a kid. That'd be so fun. Yeah, don't do that. Right. Right.

No, that's so insane, though. Like, I could see a child breaking me, breaking my spirits, for sure. Oh, 100%. Yeah. 100%. You love your life. I say that, but I love babies. Like, every time I'm around a baby, I'm like, I can't believe this. Like, this is insane. Yeah, you've been so good with Luna. But also, Luna's just such a good baby. She's literally a trick baby. Yeah, she is. I feel like that's another part of it, too. Like, I feel like if she was constantly crying and stuff, and that would definitely, like, put a shot. Colic.

What? My grandma one time was like, yeah, you just need to have another baby to experience having a child. Oh, having a... Kids are not bad. Babies are not bad. But having a bad baby. Yeah. I know what it means. Were either of us bad babies? I don't know. Mom said that I wasn't. Bad baby on IG. I apparently was the most silent baby. Like...

my parents were a little freaked out by me because my brother was a normal ass baby, screamed, cried, kicked, whatever, was actually a fucking demon. Like, from the moment he was born, did not want to be cleaned and was always a fucking nightmare to clean. But I was just a mad silent, like, didn't cry, didn't make a lot of noise. Like, they would sometimes be like, is she dead? Like, in her group. A lot has changed. A lot has changed. A lot has changed. That's literally, it's crazy. She just...

Literally immediately after, like by the time I was like cognitive, I was a fucking crybaby freak bitch. Like my friends would, like my family would make fun of me. My nickname was boogers and cookie because when I would cry, I always have gotten a lot of snot. So I'd be like boogers and I would scream boogers and then I would scream for cookies. So like if somebody mentioned a cookie to me, I'd be like, cookie!

Literally nothing has changed. Like actually maybe nothing has changed. Nothing has changed, but it's just my coffee. And yet like we'll cry and have boogers and have like cookie crumbs in our boogers. Yeah, it's actually really gross. I don't know why I get so much not. But that's a different story. I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again.

I can't believe I miss reading ads I miss the taste

What she was saying, though, is that she's kind of, like, curious to see how Luna turns out because Luna is, like, kind of quiet. And then she was like, I was quiet, but now Amy is, like, the complete opposite. I feel like that's how it always happens. Like, I mean, like, boys are awful when they're, like, one to five, and then five and on they, like, become chill. Like, Luna's going to be great till five, and then she's going to become a demon, and then you're going to have a teenager girl, which is going to be interesting. Oh, my God. I love the idea of her being a teenager.

I know. That's literally so funny. She's literally going to run away from y'all and be like, I need to go to like Uncle Doofus's house in Los Angeles. Yeah, she's going to fly here. Dude, we're going to be so old by the time that girl... We're literally going to be like 40 by the time she's like... Not me. Y'all. Yeah, y'all. Not me. Oh, well, you're only 17.

16, 16. Well, you turned 17 this year, so it has to move. I'm 16. I'm forever 16. Well, it's funny because me and Madeline are twins. We were born at the same time, but I'm actually 17 and you're what, 25, 24, 25? 25, yeah. So it's really interesting. I don't even know her age anymore.

anymore like yeah it's really crazy because you're only 16 you don't have to worry about that yeah you don't have to think about having kids yet yeah you have to worry about not having kids and i'm like a really successful 17 year old like i pay bills wait i thought you were 16.

I pay the bills. Literally, Charli D'Amelio beat like a really successful 17-year-old. But, fuck, I was going to say something and I fully just forgot. Wait, wait, wait. Luna being a teenager? No, it was like a question to you, but I literally just forgot. So I guess, whatever, what I think. Should we move on from talking about Luna and you being a mother and like talk about me and funny stories you have about me? Or we can talk about like Madeline as a person and not as a mother and like detached it to? Like, I don't know. No.

No. Do you believe in that? Because I feel like there are a lot of people... I kind of asked you this the other day because it's really easy, I feel like, when women have children for that to become their full identity and people to only really care about that and just suddenly forget that this is a person who still is managing their own life and feelings. Have you felt that...

that was an issue so far or is it something that doesn't bother you like well I think again going to Steven being such like a good partner that he allows me to have like an hour or two to myself yeah some some mom yeah only yeah he times it only one hour and you have to do something like clean the house first before you do that she's making sandwiches in that hour duh so

- Some women don't have that option and it makes me sad for them because I do see how it could turn out like that.

But I'm in such a special circumstance that I would say that I haven't really experienced that, but I can so see how it could be like that. Because there has been moments where I do kind of like, I start thinking like, oh my gosh, like, what did we do? What did we do? Like, I would just want to go play Pokemon and not have to worry about her nap time or whatever. But yeah, it's just, I don't know. I'm lucky. But

But, again, I do see how it could become an issue. Sorry I'm being quiet. I literally just looked at Mother Madeline and started tearing up. It's so weird. Like, I can't even look at her right now. Oh, the thing I was going to say is, oh, my God, you're actually about to start crying. You're crying. Aw, Drew. Hey, speak your truth. Oh, you're going to make me cry. I'm, like, literally crying.

Maybe men don't have to take psychedelics. Their twin sister just has to give birth. Oh, I'm doing psychedelics. This is a mixture of both. No, I don't know. It's just crazy. Yeah. I'm over here cleaning bottles every morning. I know. It's so weird. Making milk. So weird. I'm making milk too, guys. Don't worry about me making milk. She makes milk for me. Yeah, I have to make it for Drew from my 16-year-old son. A big bottle of breast milk in the morning. Like, it's so weird.

Oh, but the thing I was going to say is I remember when I found out you guys were pregnant. Also, I thought about the fact, when did y'all, when was y'all's wedding? October or no. October. September. Whoa. September. That's when we got our house. September. September of 2020.

Okay, never mind. Because in my head, I was like, why didn't I go to that fucking wedding? But then it was during like 2020. So that's why. Because I thought about the other day, I was like talking to my friend Sabrina. And I was like, it's so weird because they're fully married and I didn't go to the wedding. You were invited. You were Drew's plus one. Yeah. But it's funny. It's funny. I do look back though. And I was like, damn, that's actually, I feel frustrated.

fucked up for like not going like i wish i went not looking back but i'm pretty sure you know what's funny i got you were like two weeks later you were just there for sam's i was gonna say so you came to celebrate death but you wouldn't celebrate love like you would celebrate my brother's death well you guys didn't need more love you needed more vibes yeah it's true i was there for i was there to get so high in your parents kitchen that i was in there for 40 minutes

Dude, that was literally one of the funniest things ever. And you like took an edible or something. I don't remember. And at that point, like my tolerance for weed was really, really low.

I think like most of us. It was at Sam's funeral time. Yeah, like it was after, like it was all of the food. Yeah, at the funeral. It was really hot. And it was high on LSD too. It was crazy. No, but it was after and it was like, you know how people bring you like food, like your community, like so you don't have to cook for a week or whatever. Someone had brought tacos, like deconstructed tacos where you like make your own taco. And it was in there for like,

50 minutes like making these fucking tacos and like opening. And I kept feeling y'all's mom like look over at me and I was like she knows. Yeah like opening and slamming the microwave and shit like it was so weird. To be fair it was also like the addition of being in the kitchen like I didn't know where anything was so literally to find anything I had to open 10 drawers and then I'd be like fuck where were the cups and then I had to start reopening. And what was I doing? Like wait why was I in here? But yeah it was a fun fun time.

Anyways, I was just thinking it's crazy I didn't go to y'all's wedding. But also, I remember when I found out you were pregnant, I was like, oh my God, it freaked me out because I was like, she's so young. This is crazy. And now I'm like, dude, you literally turned 26 in March. So like by the time Luna's only a year old, you're already 26. And then I was like, not that 26 is still so young. But now I feel like we're all getting to the age where it's like, damn, I'm not a kid.

Oh, I know what it is.

I literally can't make excuses. Like, bitch, I'm in my mid-20s. What am I talking about? It's so weird how the biological clock just turned on one day. And it was also literally meeting all of my nieces and nephews. I was like, damn, I might want one of these. And then I met Luna. And I was like, damn, I'm going to have one of these one day. This is crazy. One of these. I'm going to make an ugly-ass baby. I said I would be your surrogate. Yeah, that's my surrogate. You just have to find a different donor. Yeah, like a...

Technically, you could use my egg and then have part your damn egg. Oh, that would be a lot. No, that wouldn't make like an incest baby. No, she eggs someone else. Like somebody else is the man. I was like, no. That's where the joke started. But no, it's like another man. We're not doing that. No, Enya's carrying my baby. Okay, yeah.

Well, my wife is carrying my baby, guys. My wife will carry my baby. Okay, so me. Come on. Yeah. Right. Right. I don't know. The idea of having kids is really scary. So we should move on to like fun stories because now I'm thinking about like... Yeah, talk about me. Everybody talk about me. I'm supposed to just be like the fun aunt who like buys my like kids and stuff things. That's where I'm like starting to...

That's literally my take is like, I'm not meant to have kids. I'm meant to be the fun uncle that like flies Maddox out to LA for a week. And then they're like, damn, like,

what how does he do that what is his job yeah like all that shit and then like I every once in a while like come around for Christmas and I'm like it's always it's like rich aunt like that's the vibe I gave yeah that's like the vibe I need to have is I just like pull up with something fun and give good vibes and then when Luna's really pissed at you because you have to be like a parent she can be like oh my god like

Like, my mom. And you and Drew were so much more fun. Yeah. Yeah. Like, that's my position. I need to be pitting women against each other. Exactly. That's my position in this life. Exactly. But so I had Madeline, like, years ago. Like, when we first started the podcast, I was like, well, I want Madeline on as a guest because we have a lot of experiences that I'm, like, too embarrassed to tell. But, like, Madeline probably – actually, no. I tell everything. Like, I'm not embarrassed to say shit. But –

She developed this list like a year and a half ago of like just stories that she wanted to bring up. Yeah, I've been – it's titled If I'm Ever on the Podcast. So I have several stories. Do you want me to like give you clues and you tell me which one I should say? I think you just tap into like the one you want to tell and then I'll be like, oh, yeah. Okay. Okay.

This one's not like super crazy, but it just shows Drew's character whenever we were a kid, like younger. So I don't know if you remember doing this, but I was going to ask you if there's anything that because I was literally going to be like also like I don't remember our childhood at all. So like, please say anything because like I need to like.

latch on to one memory. It's so funny that you said that because I told Steven, I was like, I'm going to make up like just some story that didn't even happen and gaslight you and be like, you don't remember that? I probably would have been like, yeah, I do remember that. I literally would have been like, no, I remember that. But yeah, no, I was going to make up a story like that was completely fabricated. Okay. So this one is whenever, I think we were in like, I guess it was third grade and it was like going to Six Flags and

we had to read like a bunch of books and so what we did was got our like home library out and laid out all the books I remember this I actually do remember this and all we had to do was write down the title and

And then I think like maybe one little sentence about what the book was. And then our mom just had to sign off on it and say how long we read. I think we had to read like a certain amount of hours or something. So me and Drew on our countertop had like 80 books. Like the entire library. And we changed pens. Like we were smart in like third grade. We changed like pen colors and like all this stuff, making it look like we had read it over the course of the last like three months or whatever it was. Yeah. Yeah.

And then, yeah, we got free Six Flags tickets, but we never went. So we did all that work for nothing. We were like little evil geniuses. Also, like whoever looked at that and believed that y'all read that many books was actually high as fuck. It was like the entire school year, right? To like read that many books. And then we just didn't do it until like the week before. Then we were like, shoot, we want to go to Six Flags. This is due in a week.

And I bet we're not the only person who did that, but... That's mom's character, though. I was going to say, yeah. Mom came up. Yeah, mom came up. No, she rode hard for us. That was sick. Well, I guess she wins, too, because then she doesn't have to pay for six box tickets. They're begging a family to scam in that moment. They're begging for it. There were a lot of little things that we would do. One of my favorite stories that I've waited to tell since you've been on here was...

when we were like little and devious, like we had our own little language. Like we were like twins. Like we would speak to each other. Like my mom always says, like we would just say like gibberish to each other. And then we'd run to the bathroom and grab toothbrushes and then each throw them in the toilet and flush them. Like we just like knew to like do that. Like throw it from this language. Damn, you guys were so smart. You knew to do that. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like, oh my God. We were genius. But...

One of my favorite stories ever is when we went to the refrigerator and grabbed a bunch of eggs. I have that written down. Yeah, dude, it's so bad. We were so fucking bad. We went to the refrigerator, grabbed a bunch of eggs. We were like three or two, two or three, one of the two. And we like went upstairs and...

And there was a bathroom like detached from the rooms. We had just moved in, by the way, to this brand new house that my parents had just got. It's the house you stayed at. Yeah. Meteor Night. Yeah. And...

We went to this bathroom and we like had run hot water and we had these eggs in the sink. And I remember this vividly. Like we had them in the sink and we were like actually like thinking we could hatch these eggs. And then I don't remember who threw the first brick. Like I don't know who threw the first stone. But someone had grabbed one of these eggs out of the sink and just like launched it at the mirror or at the wall.

or whatever. The ceiling. Yeah, and then we just, both of us just started throwing eggs like all over this bathroom. Like the wallpaper at the top was peeling. Dude, the serotonin spike, whoever like both of y'all got when you saw that first egg splatter against the window literally turned something animalistic on. Like y'all turned into little monkeys like throwing shit around. So we started with six and

And it was like a carton, like either a 12 or 18 set of eggs. But like we went down multiple times to grab more eggs. And we just kept saying, we're hatching eggs. Yeah, exactly. We would tell my mom, oh, we're just hatching eggs upstairs. And she's like, oh, that's like so cute. Like that's really cute. Because we're having so much fun.

Yeah, and then like eventually we got quiet and like when a child gets quiet, that's when some bad shit is going down. And I think either we were just like bored of it or we realized what we had done. Like, I don't know. But like I remember looking up and seeing like the wallpaper like peeling off the walls, like egg splatters all over like the drywall. Like it was fucked up. Like we like literally caused like a war crime. Like it was gnarly. I would not clean that.

Like I would literally let it fucking dry off and like be just that's the rotten egg bathroom. Don't go in there. That's literally our boiler room. I know. I'm like, I'm not cleaning that. I don't want to. But eventually my mom and dad like knew something was going down. So they like, I don't remember how we got caught or like what happened. But I remember like they were living. Like I've never still to this day haven't seen them that angry before. Like,

Yeah, it was. And that I think the reason why we remember it so much is because that was the first time we had ever been spanked. And I think the last time I had ever been spanked. Like, that's how mad they were. Like, they weren't spanking parents and they spanked me.

like I remember where it was yeah it was on the both like it's like that TV ad that like workout machine that was like rods like we were like on the little bench yeah getting our ass spanked like it was crazy I thought you were saying they had

y'all doing a fucking like my parents have made like our siblings like work out as punishment like our older siblings were smoking cheetos and my dad was like oh since y'all want to smoke like y'all better train your fucking lungs and he made them run around our block like a hundred times like driving around the block several times smoking cheetos

It's so funny. Dude, for smoking a Tito, that is literally so fucking funny. Yeah, but I don't really, ever since that moment, I was a well-behaved child or I was really, really good at hiding being bad. Yeah. Like me dissecting that snake and then looking at its insides and then sewing it back together. Yeah.

what the hell? No, that's not real. If I found out, like, you actually did something like that, I genuinely don't know if I could live with you anymore. That's serial killer, right? Yeah, because I'd be like, okay, you were really serious. Okay, there is one thing that I did. Um,

And it was me and my buddy, and I'm not going to mention him by name, but we found a dead animal. No, I'm just fucking with you. I was like, what did you do to it? Also, that just reminded me there was this TikTok. Like there's all these TikToks that kids are asking their parents like, oh, what would you do if I came home drunk? What would you do? Like whatever. And the dad who the girl was like, what would you do if you saw me smoking like one of your cigarettes? And he was like, I'd make you smoke the whole pack. Yeah.

Just deadpan. Dead ass though. I'd force you to smoke the whole pack. That would teach him a fucking lesson because being Nick sick is crazy. Because they would also throw up everywhere. I don't think kids are like... I was about to say, I don't think kids are smoking cigarettes anymore. It's literally because they're hitting fucking pop bars. And vapes, yeah. I know, they basically are. The vapes. The highlighter vapes are crazy. Oh yeah, I found this...

So I was like scrolling on TikTok and like every once in a while I'll get like a mom TikTok and I wonder if it's like from you sending me mom content or just me following you or like whatever it is. But every once in a while and it'll be like a mom like freaking out over some bullshit that like doesn't even matter. Check your kid's room. Exactly, exactly. Well, this was like, I was like, there is no fucking way this is real because this mom was like, like warning, like they're making highlighter vapes now that look like highlighter pins. Wait, is that what I found in Luna's room?

Dude, yes. Yes. But we, I mean, we gave it to her. Yeah, she, but it's like the cool uncle and aunt vibe. Like she just hits the pub. If you're going to do it, do it at home. Yeah. So it was the highlighter. Yeah. I was wondering where that highlighter came from. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to get her a pacifier one soon. Yeah, a pacifier. Guys, we're joking. We're joking. We're joking. We're joking. We're joking. We're joking. If anybody listened to that and actually believed that we were giving an infant like beer and cigarettes. Girl, someone would. Like someone's psycho. There's always one.

Yeah. But she was like freaking out about this like highlighter vape. And I was like, there's no fucking way this is real. Like this is some like bullshit 4chan edit that like someone made to like scare moms. Like razor in the apple or like cocaine in the candy. Razor in the candy. Yeah, like cocaine in the chocolate ball. Wait, why didn't they ever put cocaine in the pixie sticks? But that's the tea. But...

I went to this website and they are selling vapes that look exactly like highlighters that even have the cap that you put in your pencil bag when you're in high school and you can take it out and just act like you're sucking on the tip of a highlighter. That's literally just promoting to young kids. Why would I want

a highlighter with well I wanted to buy one just to be hitting on the podcast because like how funny would it be but like no literally it is made for children and that's what the mom was saying she was like okay y'all aren't even trying anymore like y'all tried it with the fruity flavors like whatever there's like you can say like some freak adult wants like a banana milkshake vape like whatever but like now it's a whole ass like school utensil and they had it on like on the website where it was like sitting at your work desk like

Who uses fucking highlighters other than high schoolers? Yeah, also, like, grow the fuck up, bitch. Like, everybody uses their laptop and works from home if they're at a computer now, so they don't need a fucking highlighter vape. And even if they did want to vape at work, I don't think their fucking boss is going to be like, mm-mm.

Like, they will be inhaling the smoke. They're not blowing it out like kids do where they just are like... Like, into class. It's so crazy, too, because it's insane how greedy people are that you genuinely think it is okay to pass off something like that to a child. Yeah. Like, also...

Children don't have money. So I don't even understand what the like, what the whole market for that being opened up is. But I guess now kids have like their parents Apple Pay fucking connected to their iPhone. Well, the first vape I ever tried to buy, it was like when vapes first dropped and like I was probably like 14. No, literally I am. Like I was like. You were like the first time I ever heard of Juul was y'all.

Yeah. Us ordering it online and forcing my older sibling to buy it for us. Oh, that's another story. I found out it had nicotine in it. And I told mom. I was like, Mom, you know that thing that Drew's hitting has nicotine in it? Did she not think that? No. Well, this is what I was going to say. Yeah.

Yeah. I like, I had told my mom when I was 14, I was like, oh, there's these like water vapor sticks because I literally did. I thought they were water vapor. And like I asked her to order them online for me and I was like, there's no nicotine in it. It's literally just water vapor. And like she like was about to do it and she was like, no, I'm not buying you this. So then me and my friend hit up our friend's older brother and was like, can you take us to the gas station to buy a vape? And like,

it was so fucking scary it literally felt like my friend was getting abducted like he was like texting me he's like i don't know where we're going like i'm scared it was all over like a fucking vape like he's like he stole my money like i don't know what we're doing but he eventually ended up with the vape and like he literally like was texting me like he was getting abducted it was so fucking funny and i thought he was getting abducted and i was like what it's funny now but in the moment we were

moment we were like holy shit i know in the moment you were like dude my life is over yeah literally literally well we ended up getting it and like we hid it in the closet and we were like smoking this vape in the closet and it didn't it did not have nicotine in it we got it with zero percent nicotine because you had to like it was this big thing because we didn't even want nicotine well eventually we like got curious to try it and then we tried nicotine so the one mom thought i had

have nicotine so I will die on that hill that I never lied to my mom but she thought the vape I was hitting all the time was just like water vapor and then like eventually Madeline snitched on me because I think I found out when it on that tour that we were on yeah I think I found out during then and I was like wait that's nicotine in it and I was like mom you just let him in I was like that's

has nicotine in it and she's like no it doesn't no it doesn't I was like I'm pretty sure it does see that's just like more testament to my character that I'm a liar that I be lying but I was gonna say there was I know let me live let me lie

He just lies about things he doesn't even have to lie about. I know, and that's why he's a pathological liar. Like, he just does it. It literally is his first, like, him and Josiah, their first instinct is to just lie about something. And then later on be like, I don't know why I said that. Yeah, I'd be like, I just lied. Like, it's a cool, like, it's cool to lie, y'all. No, but I was going to say, the one time mom got, like, really pissed about it to me was me and Hunter...

bought a hookah like a mini hookah and we shut the doors of my closet because we wanted to blow o's like we wanted to practice like tricks and i don't literally we were way too young to fucking hookah and we were doing hookah smoke and my mom was like charcoal like yeah literally the whole thing and my mom came into my room and was like oh it smells like fruity in here what is that and i was like oh it's a candle and she was like no it's fucking not and she opened the door and it

Like, smoke billowed out. And she's like, what are y'all doing in there? We were smoking hookah, but... Did you do anything? I feel like you were, like, such a tame child. Yeah, she was so... I was...

He was a loser. Yeah. No, so you were the normal one. He was just a fucking insect. I did enough bad shit for the both of us. I actually did not find out about a bunch of the stuff that Drew did in high school and middle school or whatever until we were probably like 22. Yeah. Like, I was so oblivious to everything. I didn't even know what weed was until I was like 21. Mm-hmm.

That is so insane. I think my first alcohol drink I ever had, I was 18 or 19, and it was whenever we were in Montreal and it was legal. Like, I could actually get it. Like, yeah, I'm being real. That is so insane. I was like, eww.

Loser freak. Yeah, I was kind of on the same tip. I literally didn't do anything bad until I met Drew. Like, I was fully, like, normal. I had turned bitches out. I was, like, anti-weed. I was, like, anti-drinking underage. Like, the most I had, like, interacted with alcohol was, like, when I was, like, 16 and my parents were like, have a

sip like go ahead see what it tastes like like that was my like the most I did because I didn't go to parties like I wasn't allowed to like go out and stuff and then I met this motherfucker and literally like immediately was getting high and like like drinking like all the time yeah everyone was always like true your friends fucking suck like you need to drop those people like growing up and like they didn't know that it was me

me corrupting these people like I was the one like but you got your work done you got school done you hit it so well like it's scary almost I'm good well I feel like until like two years ago there was so much that he had like and I lived with him for five years so like this motherfucker can

and hide something. Like, it's insane. I'm good at it, bro. I feel like I'm the complete opposite. Like, I need to walk into a room and immediately announce everything I'm doing. That's where his lying comes from. He's so good at it. Yeah, I just practice all the time. No, I don't even think I'm lying half the time. I'm just not telling y'all things. Like, it's not even that I'm lying. It's just like, I'm holding things back. But I have a question for both of y'all. So...

Y'all had baby Luna, right? How the fuck did y'all get pregnant? Because Steven's not allowed to do S with you. Like, because I'm going to beat you up. I'm the Virgin Mary. You are? Queen! So Luna is Jesus Christ? Luna does serve Jesus. Like, if you look into her eyes, like, there's something very... Prophetic about her. She's got some spiritual energy to her. I can't wait for her to curse. Ooh!

That's like the most fun thing ever. She flipped off the camera the other day. Yeah. We actually say we can't wait to be like, go tell, say. Shit. Yeah, like go tell dad, bitch. Just go say that. That was the first time ever cussed. Yeah. You were like scared to do it. You like got nervous. I didn't realize what story I was about to tell. Then I was like, wait.

Spoiler alert, I do cuss, but on the air... I do cuss. Wait, this is your Miranda Cosgrove arc. Spoiler alert, I do cuss. I actually like... What's your favorite cuss word? Fuck. But what is your favorite cuss word? I don't know.

Balance is motherfuckers. Yeah, you do. You say motherfucker. So on the internet, like somehow I'm really good at hiding it. Like our parents let us cuss at home. Like even when we were like 10, like it was fine. We were demons, bro. But they knew, we knew what setting we were allowed to. So if we were at church, we couldn't do that. If we were at school, if we were in front of other adults, like it was only a household thing. So for some reason, when I'm on camera, if I'm live streaming or whatever, I'm like,

I literally don't cuss. Like, I can still do that. Not me. Like, I literally wish I had self-control, but I will curse every other word. It's embarrassing the amount of times I say literally, like, and fuck. Like, it's so bizarre. It's really strange. But, yeah, it's also really crazy that you don't cuss on camera because we live... Like, Madeline, if you don't know, like...

has more followers than I do. Like it's like crazy. She lives on like the complete opposite side of the internet.

But it's just like there's zero crossover, but we're like twins. It's so, so strange. Every time you're in a video, they're like, that's Drew Phillips? Yeah, you know Drew? And it's so, so bizarre that like... I'm like, he's my twin. Yeah, that we're twins and everyone's like, wait, what the fuck? Like, y'all are twins? It's probably even more confusing now that you have like the last name Lloyd. People are just like, why is Drew Phillips in this?

What is he doing here? My favorite trend ever right now is clipping me in the background of other people's videos and saying that they were being stalked. Homeless man. They did a video of me in the car, or I was in the background of a video they did in the car, and someone clipped it and made this really fucking funny edit that reached outside of- That got like 3 million views.

- Yeah, that reached outside of even our audience and their following. - They're like, "Wait, what? What's going on? I'm so confused." - And they were going to the original video and commenting like, "I'm here from the other video. What is this? Who is that?" - "Do you know he's back?" - All you have to put is that sound on any video and it literally triggers DNA, something in our- - Epigenetic trauma that like-

Our brains are just like, run, run. A case that doesn't sit right with me. And it's literally just clips. But yeah, do you have any other funny stories? Oh, wait, I had a question, though, because when y'all started the Internet on like separate, of course, because y'all were both doing you now, were you ever in each other's like live streams and stuff? Like, did you make it very clear y'all were siblings? Yeah. And then over time, it just...

So originally Drew was on YouNow first, but I kind of like took it over because I loved it so much. But I would only be in Drew's live streams. And I still remember the first time that I went live like by myself. And I had like, I don't know, like 30 viewers or whatever. And they were all Drew's followers.

But yeah, no, we, I would say mainly it was all Drew's like people that were following. But yeah, no, they knew. But then I like took over YouNow. She was doing like, she went live every single day on YouNow for like 700 days in a row or some shit. In a row, yeah. Wow.

And she would, a thousand. I would do at least 10 minutes a day. And like sometimes I'd go live like three times a day for like an hour at a time. She was like heavily addicted. It was bad. And then also she would do like, you were like the inventor basically of like 24 hour sleep streams. Like she would literally like sleep all day.

on stream I wouldn't sleep I would set a timer I would do 24 hour broadcast and we would take a three minute like break for everybody else to sleep who was also in it so I would sleep for three hours and set an alarm but like I would do stuff for 24 hours I did like probably four of those

yeah it was crazy that is so insane yeah we would like blow up cakes in the front yard well because of you we have FouseyTube FouseyTube FouseyTube FouseyTube on his 24 hour everyday live being a fucking insane person literally that's what you should tap into but like have Luna in the live did we like predict his comeback by saying hey you made me want to

kill myself we reference that all the time and he like rose from the dead yeah we called him it's like when you go in the bathroom you say bloody mary three times that's what he did with pussy tube yeah pussy tube pussy tube i want to kill myself but yeah the one the two stories i thought of that i thought you were going to tell was like

when I like was passing out and then I had the constipation night those two nights in a row like I have that yeah those were they thought I was like faking it they thought I was like jealous of the bond that they were forming and I was like no I'm sleeping in my room that night because I think I was having two nights in a row yeah I think he knows two nights in a row he was jealous

Something's wrong with you. You're jealous. I was having like a rough night or something. I was going through my depression without knowing I actually had depression. So anyway, my mom was sleeping in my room with me that night. Well, depression isn't real, babe. Yeah, just smile. Look, you're doing it and you're so happy now. I'm on medication now. But so Drew...

All of a sudden, me and my mom are sleeping. And all of a sudden, it's like probably, I would say, like 1 in the morning. Like I might forget the story a little bit. But it was late. And all of a sudden, we hear boom! Like on my door. And Drew's army crawling into the room. And he's going, oh! And me and my mom were like, what are you doing? He was like, I'm dying. I'm dying.

I really thought I was dying, y'all. I had taken a full, like, grown-ass man, 250-pound man dose of Trazodone. Like, he even cuts it in half. And my dad gave it to me because I was like, I'm having trouble sleeping. And I took that full dose. And then on top of that, I took, like, another sleeping pill, like a Lyrica or something. So I was, like, two sleeping pills deep. And I was, like, literally overdosing. Like, I was, like, passing out. This is the laxative. Oh. Oh, wow.

Well, I did that twice, two nights in a row because I also army crawled the second night in. So maybe that's like what it was, was like a mixture of the two. I don't know what it was. This was the laxative night and you were like, I'm dying. And we're like, what? And so finally you're like, I don't care. And you like left. And so finally my mom got up because we had just like woken up or whatever and goes in there and Drew like has his door shut and he's like screaming out.

it was the most pain i have ever been in in my entire i was pissing blood like my body was rejecting these laxatives i was pissing once my mom found out that he had taken like way too much that's when she was like okay i need to be a mom like i need to tend to drew but at first we were just like what are you it's also hard because you're so dramatic like you are so naturally dramatic that it's hard to understand if you're just being fucking annoying or if you mean it and that's why i will never

know the day he actually becomes schizophrenic i won't know because he likes to just like say things and be annoying like anytime drew is like actually going through an emotional like trouble i can't tell until like it's three months have passed i'm like damn okay he's like still mentioning it so it might be real like i literally can't tell like because every other day you're just like out of boredom will be like yeah i like take my life and nobody like wants to talk to me

any of that so it's just like weird and then we're like all right do you need help but you're like no it's okay it's just like I'm just gonna be silent like I always am and I'll figure it out by myself and we're like we literally I know like are you being real like I'm playing fortnight like are you being serious like I don't want to tap out of my game yeah no it's fucked up I literally no I just sometimes I am seriously like saying that but the other times I'm literally just making a joke I know and that's why no one can fucking tell yeah I guess you literally did just say that yeah because

No matter what your behavior, that's the problem is your behavior doesn't change. You will always be in that damn room on your phone. So there's no telling if it's from depression or if it's just you doing your life the way you do it, which is sitting on your phone.

on your phone. Yeah, my mom forced me to eat a salad today. She was like, you've eaten like shit this whole time. You're not eating anything and you need a salad. Because he was dying again earlier. And my mom was like, it's because he hasn't eaten anything good. I literally was. You didn't eat yesterday until like 11 p.m.

I ate the shit out of that Wingstop too. That's what he does though. He literally like goes through his day. He's like, I'm dying. I don't know what's wrong with me guys. Help me. And then we'll like eat the nastiest shit ever. And then when he does eat in the daytime, he eats the nastiest shit ever. Like he'll eat like Jack in the Box while the sun is out. And then be like, well, I don't know why I need to go to sleep. And it's like, yeah, it's because you're literally like destroying your stomach lining. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, right. I wonder why I'm constipated all the time. I wonder why my stomach is so bad. No, literally. It's fucked up. I eat for four days in a row. Don't put that out there. Yeah, but you don't eat anything green for like two weeks in a row. And you know what's crazy is I ate that salad and I immediately shit well. Like I had a healthy shit. You have like no fiber going into your body. It's literally like all like...

processed meat. Yeah, also not to mention you were like, okay, we have food in this cabinet and it was like talkies popcorn.

- Also only hot chips. Like no like not hot chips. - And then like Slim Jims and like something else. Maybe bread and I think that bread was in there. - That was my bread. - Yeah, yeah. You forgot the Reese's take five. - Oh yeah. - Crucially, crucially that. - Dude it's so insane. At least you started drinking water kind of. - Yeah. Oh, I be drinking water. I drink the shit out of water. I love water now.

Now I love water. I've changed. But yeah, there was the next night I took the trazodone and the sleeping pill and I like stood up out of bed and like literally fainted into this pile of trash next to my fish tank. And I woke up like a few minutes later and I was like, my body was buzzing. I felt really hot and cold and I was like,

like out of it and I looked at the TV and I knew how much time was passed because my show and like I was like dude whoa I was out for a minute like what is going on with me and like I stood up from that trash can

And I'm like, I'm not dying in a pile of fucking garbage. Like that's not it. Like that's literally so embarrassing. So I stood up again and I start walking down the hallway in my bedroom and I fall straight back, like pass out again. And I bite through my tongue and my tongue is bleeding and I drill the back of my head and I feel my head hit. And I'm out like again for like 30 more seconds. And I'm like,

oh fuck like I'm actually like going like this is this is it like this is it and so like I'm like fuck but I can't walk which I actually commend myself for that I figured out like I have to crawl because I was so out of it and I'm like crawling and like when I get to my door I can't reach my doorknob and then I like pass out again like in front of my door and then I open my door and I'm crawling through the hall and then I just like throw my body like into my sister's door because it never like shut all the way and I like plopped on the ground and I was like oh

Help, call an ambulance. And my mom was like, do you actually want me to call you an ambulance? And I was like, I'll just die here. And then I slept. And this was when I was terrified of my body. I hated my body so much. And I really was so afraid of dying that I didn't even show myself shirtless around my family. I hated my body.

And I like went into like my sister's room. That was the first time y'all had ever seen me shirtless, I think, like as a grown ass man. And like, that's when I was like, oh, this is real. And then I was like, no, just down the floor. It's like whatever. And I was so sad falling asleep because I was like,

they're gonna find my body stiff. I didn't write letters. Yeah, literally. But then I woke up and went to school the next day. That was on a school night? Yeah. Both of them were on a school night. Yeah. The laxative was on a school night and the next day. And I was such like a fucking nerd about school that like I overdosed on laxatives was up till 4 a.m. that I still woke up at like 6 a.m. and went to school and sat in the parking lot and did my homework in the parking lot. And like same with the like trazodone night. Like I...

The one thing about me growing up was I was going to get my schoolwork done by any means necessary. But anyways. I was not. I give a fuck. Yeah. I really did not give a fuck. Thank you. Thank you. Also, you're giving Luigi right now. Thank you. Wait, you're waking. I have two that are top tier, and I don't know which one you want me to say. I literally do look like Luigi. Yeah, you actually do.

Do you want me to say the pill? Yes. Wait, let me. Yes. Oh, wait. I also have a funny ass picture to show y'all. This one is so bad. I've already told it before, but you tell it from your perspective. Okay.

There's not a funny video in the group chat, and it was yesterday when we got out of the movie. You know how some people live above the grove and stuff? This man was literally standing above this plaza in his underwear on the phone. Oh, he's sick. And we were like, what the hell? He's just standing there. There's so many people around here, but that's it. That's going to get cut because I don't know why I had to say that. All right.

Okay, so we were probably probably like 14 or something. I honestly, I don't remember, but me, my dad and my brother were in the car and we're just driving back from somewhere and me and my dad ganged up on Drew and like we always did. Per usual. They still do. They all attack me. Steven sees it. But honestly,

Honestly, like, it just kind of depends who gets made fun of that day. Yeah, yeah. There's always one target. You would gang up on me. Yeah, there's one target always. I feel like it's always dad with somebody else. It always is. The moment we switch it with dad, he gets super fun. He's so sensitive. Yeah, he gets so sensitive. But, so, Drew, we're, like, ganging up on him, whatever. I don't even remember what we said, to be honest. But he goes inside and he goes, I'm going to kill myself. And me and my dad were like, oh.

ha, ha, ha, like whatever. Because he's so dramatic, okay? Yeah, I don't blame them. Well, then he goes like running up the stairs. We come in and then I was like. Had cyber bully already come out? Probably. Probably, I don't know. You were taking notes. Like and share, take notes. Like and share, take notes. So then.

And I was like, maybe I should go check on him because it had been like five minutes and no one went up there to go make sure you weren't crying or whatever. And so I went up there and I come in and Drew has pills in his hand and he looks up at me and I was like, how long were you sitting there waiting? I was waiting. I was dead as a...

- Dang, no one cares about us. - I was dead ass waiting for like 10 minutes. - He was waiting so long, he had to move to an edge where he could hold his arm up with something. - No, I straight up, I was waiting for them to catch me. - You heard me coming up and then you're like. - Yeah, no, straight up, I was like, "Ooh, I want them to know how bad they hurt me. I'm gonna sit here with a pile of pills in my hands." - Like, "Ooh, I wanna get them." - Like I was about to take them.

So I went and got my mom, and I think my mom confiscated the pills. I don't even know what it was. Probably like freaking Advil. It was probably Advil or some shit. It's always the Advil. It's always like an Advil or a Tylenol. It's like, you're freaking me out. But no, I was like, I definitely should go probably check on him because he was

Yeah. One thing about Madeline is she is a very sympathetic person. And like she makes she has to make a go in that story. She was pushing you to suicide. But she was the one that checked on me. So true. It's like Stockholm Syndrome. Yeah. You have to build up the trust. And now Madeline makes sure everybody's OK. It's lit. Yeah. Not me. And how are you about the coffee earlier? No.

I'm still sticky. I'm not kidding. Like, that's why I went to the bathroom for a second because I'm like still sticky. I don't know if you notice I keep like touching my arm. It's because I'm literally sticky. Before we started this episode, I had my coffee sitting here and I was moving things around because we film in our stupid fucking kitchen. So we have to move everything every time we film. And my whole cup of coffee just fell onto the ground. It exploded.

everywhere it ruined all the books and the cds it was everywhere she counteracted it trying to catch it and then it like made the cup like go higher and just it went all over the walls it was so bad like we were about to start recording too but and i did um tear up and if it was 3 p.m i probably would have committed suicide we'll insert those videos

Oh look at her! Hi girl! Oh she is the cutest baby ever. Did you wake up? She's dying. Did you wake up? Do you love Inya? Hello babykins. She is the cutest baby ever. Hi little girl. Mom come say hi. She's the babysitter.

Should I let her put my finger in her mouth so she has some coffee and gets a caffeine addiction? Yeah, gets it really early. But yeah, she's the happiest baby ever. She is the cutest baby on the planet, man. We were just telling the story about how I was going to kill myself and you confiscated those pills from me. The pills. Was that a common occurrence for Drew? Yeah.

Yeah. So where are you going to tell that one? Yeah.

Okay. Oh, my God. She's the cutest baby ever. We messed with Drew so much, but it was probably around, like, 14, 15. Drew had some, like, super scary headphones on that were, like, $3. They were sketchy as hell. Sketchy Bluetooth. It was, like, the first Bluetooth headset ever made. And so he connected them to his phone, and all of a sudden, he, like, screamed real loud, and... It almost happened again. Yeah, I know.

Okay, yeah. So, scary headphones. Yeah. So, all of a sudden, he, like, screams real loud and hits the headphones out. And he, like, starts, oh, my God. My ears are ringing. My ears are ringing. He's like, oh, my God. You know what's funny is he's literally done this recently. We went to a concert, and for two weeks in a row, he's like...

Oh, my ears are still ringing. I don't know what's happening. I think I'm probably going to go deaf. This one still is. It's just that I figured out it's like, I think I have like a small ear canal. Oh, okay. Right. Okay. And he figured that out by himself. Yeah. Okay. So his ears are ringing. His ears are ringing. He's freaking out. So he goes into the bathroom. Well, my friend is there. And so is my mom. Who was it?

Sarah. So it's me, Sarah, and my mom. Or mom. My first kiss. Yeah. And so we are... Ew, the face you made. Have you told that story? No, hell no. I think I did. Okay, Luna. Luna's attacking everything. It's pretty terrible, mom. There we go. He has the baby off. Oops. Oh, she's the happiest baby ever.

Yeah. So, Drew's freaking out. He's in the bathroom. And me and Sarah and Mom were like, it'd be funny to convince him that he went to bed. And so we muted the TV really quick. And he comes out and we're all like mouthing, like,

Are you okay? Like, we're all, like, mouthing. And we're, like, muffled laughing. And so he starts freaking out. I literally start sobbing. Oh, did you fully believe it? Yes. He started crying. Like, freaking.

out and he just thought like because like the muffled laughing and stuff like that that's what convinced him that he was deaf like because he obviously doesn't know what it like feels like or it sounds like I guess but um yeah that was really funny they electrocuted me they like electrocuted the insides of my ear it was fucked up and my ears were like ringing and like it was like and I was like

I don't think you were like fully a part of it, but you were definitely there letting it happen. No, she was a part of it. She was like mouth and words too. I'm the one that said... Drew, it's okay. Because Drew also, he was talking out loud, but he thought it was just like in his head.

So he didn't realize that he was like hearing himself. It was so weird. You were too old to be believing that. It was fucked up. And I cried. I literally cried. That's when we started feeling bad. We're like, okay, it's okay. We're like turning on the TV. We're like, Drew, we promise you can hear. It's back. It's back. You're hearing us back. Yeah, literally, literally.

Look at her, just looking around. Hi, girl. Sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet. I wish I, like, remembered. She's so distracting. Like, I can't be in a room with her without just being like, baby. You know what my favorite story of you is ever, Madeline? Is, like, it's so mean. And I've told it before, and we just talked about it. But, like, when you have, like...

Yeah, like hairy arms. I still do. I'm very hairy. I hope Luna gets her dad. Ew, girls need to cut that shit off. I hope Luna gets her dad's hair. We're going to get her a laser away contract by the time she's like seven. So we'll start lasering her. I was like, we were like six years old, seven years old or something. And like Madeline had hairy arms. So we would call her like Chewbacca and shit. Oh.

All of my brothers, every single one of them. Y'all are supposed to be protecting me, building up confidence. Yeah, I know. We called her, like, Chewbacca. That's stupid. And my mom actually, like, let her shave her. Yeah, she would let me shave my legs and arms in, like, third grade. But my favorite... Damn, Harris B. Yeah. My favorite, favorite, favorite thing we ever did was there's this picture of...

The ugly monkey girl. Like, I don't... Yeah, I don't know what it is. It's the funniest thing ever. It was like... That was early internet days. Yeah, it was OG. Like, early, early. OG, OG internet days. But we would say that that was Madeline and, like, we would put that as, like, the screensaver and be like...

Family photo. Like, it was everywhere. Like, and we would just say that was Madeline all the time. And, like, we would just bully the shit out of her with it. I'm like, that's so mean as if I didn't do that to my siblings. I was, like, the meanest big sister ever. Like, I was literally, when people talk about, like, their big sister being a bitch, I was.

that bitch like I was so mean my little sister I will never forget she wanted to be a singer so fucking bad when she was younger and one time we were standing like walking around my radio while Halo was playing and I heard her sing and I literally paused and I was like you seriously think you're gonna be a singer when you sound like shit like what are we talking about and I was like sing the song sing it song like sing it and she like goes to sing and I was like oh oh my god yeah you need to figure something else out they did that to me too like

No, that was the complete opposite. I think dad said Drew. I was telling kids they have a good voice because they'll literally like, they won't shut the fuck up. In the car, my dad was like, hey, Drew, you actually have like a decent voice. And ever since then, for like a year straight, Drew would be like...

We just scared her so bad. We could intentionally do it too. I would like, hello girl, what up? She has something to say. You're the happy girl.

She's still so sleepy. So cute. Do you think she's going to sleep the plane ride? Oh, I hope so. She did come in here, but yeah. Dude, that is so funny. Oh, also with the monkey thing, my little brother became really terrified of monkeys. So then we would put his iPad screensaver as a monkey. And like when he went to the kitchen to get a snack, we'd be like, and we'd make it and he would go to turn around and be like, like throw his iPad and be like.

Like literally run away from it. And we're like, what? And we're like this, this. And then we would literally chase him with the iPad, like behind his head. Speaking of chasing, I was going to say this shit. Chase me with a knife before. We were at my grandma's house and we were watching this show, Billy and Mandy.

with the Grim Reaper in it. And this is her parents. And we were like spending the night there and they had made us cowboy coffee and like we were kind of tweaking off the coffee a little bit. Cowboy coffee was literally milk with a splash of coffee. Like nothing crazy. We were tweaking off the caffeine for sure.

And I don't remember what started this, but me and Madeline started fighting. And I was like, okay, I'm going to have to kill this bitch. I'm going to have to kill her. So I grab a knife and I start chasing her. I wasn't actually going to stab you, but I was chasing you around the house like this with the knife. And then her...

my grandpa, like, grabbed me by my wrist and was like, stop that now. Like, he was pissed. We've never seen him mad either. He's never been ever mad. I feel like he's watching a child bear a knife to kill his sibling. He was pissed. He was a very religious man. And he was pissed that we were watching Billy and Mandy. He was like, it's this show. It's this show. It's the devil show. And he turned it off. And we were sad because we wanted to watch it.

You're either the child who attempted to stab your sibling or you were the one who got chased. And I've been on both ends. Like I've one time tried to kill me before. I've never chased my sibling with a knife. But like, I remember vividly one time my siblings were like cornering me for some reason. I don't remember what it was I did, but they were both pissed at me. And like, so it was like my

older sibling and my younger sibling who I'm like three years apart by each I don't know what the fuck it was that I did but we were in the kitchen and my kitchen was like this almost like hallway it was like a longer kitchen than a wider kitchen and I literally went in there and I was like leave me and I grabbed the knife I was like I'm gonna fucking kill you okay like and I just remember screaming at them and they were both like oh

Oh, wow. Okay. And they just, like, left me alone. And then one time, my little sister got so fucking pissed at me. We had to have been, like, I was 10 and she was 7. Like, we were really young. And my dad has always done construction, so we had these, like...

long like sharp pipes like rods in the backyard because he was building someone a fence that week or something so he had them like laid out in a pile and me and my sister were playing and i remember like i was on the swing set like the wood part of it holding on to there like talking to her and i think we got into an argument over something and she literally went and grabbed one of the pipes and came up to me she was like if you get down i'm gonna fucking kill you like i was like

just standing up there and I remember as young as 10 she's always had like blue hazel eyes and in that moment I swore to god her eyes turned black like I genuinely thought she was gonna kill me like I was like I saw a demon for the first time in the flesh and it was my sister like I literally was so scared of her you told me about that you literally said you thought she was like I thought she was actually going to kill me like I had never seen a human that mad in my life and then she like freaked herself out and like threw it down she was like I hate you and ran away and I was just like oh my god

Oh my god, I just survived a killer. Like, I literally survived. The last thing I'll say, and then we can go into media and just move on, but was when you... I don't remember the context of it, but when I frisbeed that hanger at you and it... No!

No, what happened was we were again at our Mamaw and Granddad's and I was sleeping on the couch. No, I did it. I frisbee'd a hanger at you at our house too. Oh, okay. But I remember this. The one that I remember is I was sleeping and we were old. We were probably like 16, 17 at this point. And I'm just like sleeping with my neck up and Drew comes over and hits me right in the neck. Like, you know, like karate chopping. Yeah.

Yeah, and I could not breathe for, I'm not kidding you, like a minute and a half. It was so scary. And Drew was just like freaking out. I'm like... I was so scared. I was like, oh my God, I just killed my sister. I was like, oh wow. But I also did the same thing. I'm going to jail. And I think it hit either between your eyes or under in your throat. Like I don't remember what it was, but the same thing happened. But you said you remember the hanger? Y'all were upstairs. But I just remember being upstairs. Okay.

Like, that's it. Just anger. Well, one time I shot my brother in the face with a BB gun, but it was, like, so far away. And I didn't think I had that good of aim. And my badass little fucking... No, that hurt the fuck out of him. His cheek was so red. And I didn't think I could aim that far. And my badass little cousin had given me this BB gun. And my brother was across the room watching Naruto. And I, like, just remember pointing it. And I was like, there's no way I hit him in the head.

And I, like, wanted to hit him in the head. And I shot it. And literally, he just goes...

Like, yelled the loudest I've ever heard someone yell. And he, like, looks at me and starts running after me. I literally ran and I hid in, like, you know the big plastic, like, kiddie stuff? Like, the little trucks? My cousins had a big, like, play toy box thing. And I literally went and hid in there for, like, 30 minutes. With the spiders? That could have, like, taken his eye out or something. I know. Literally, I could have made him...

blind and I was hiding for so long and he went yeah he went told everybody and everybody was looking for me and I was like I hope I just died here I hope I just died here like I was like I'm gonna get my ass whooped I'm so scared like speaking of hiding when we were in kindergarten we had just had the talk about 9-1-1 and like if you're ever in a bad situation call 9-1-1 we went home that day after the assembly and

and called 911 and hung up really quick okay cool whatever we were like okay we got away with it like that was fun that was fun and we all of a sudden start hearing like knocking at the door and we were terrified we're like oh my

So we hid under our parents' bed. And we're, like, under there. And we hear, like, police officers walking around and, like, all this stuff. And me and Drew are, like, petrified, like, shaking under the bed. Yeah, we were freaking out. And they, like, had us, like, come out. And they were, like, talking to us. And I just remember being, like, so terrified of, like, we were going to get in so much trouble. Dude, that was the worst thing they could have done is teach children how to call 911. Because, one, we didn't own phones yet. Yeah, it wasn't. Like, we...

in any point of danger like of course kids need to know that but like all it did is I feel like every kid went through a phase of with their cousins and their siblings calling 911 I did that shit so many times like I vividly remember there was a Dorothy like the Dorothy toys were at Burger King or something we had just come home from Burger King and I was sitting in the front and I like was just bored I did it solo I was bored as fuck and I just went up and I called it and then she was like hello operator I was like

And then I just hung up and I went and sat back at the front door. And I think subconsciously I was like, I want to see if they actually show up. And then I just sat there playing and

The police showed up my mom went to the door and she like looked down at me She's like did you call the police? I was just like no no no I didn't and she was like who called the police. I was like. How do you call the police? I didn't know what was happening and like I was confused and I fully got away with it and like nobody knew that I did it But my siblings were sleeping so obviously was me, and I think my mom just looked at me. She's like whatever Whatever, keep play whatever she did bad. Yeah um

For real, the last thing I'll say, because we got to go take y'all to the airport, was Jay and Silent Bob, the song. So we had a DirecTV worker over. We're like three, just learning how to talk and be good at talking. We're so, so young. And my parents, or my dad, loved the Jay and Silent Bob movie, if you know. And there was this song in there called, I don't want to say it in front of her, but it's basically like,

fuckity fuck fuck fuck fuck. Smoking weed. Smoking weed. And you were proud of us. Well, the direct TV worker came over and

I remember mom saying, do it. Say it. Like, do the thing. Or by your door. I remember being by y'all's, like, bedroom door. And we start singing it. And we start saying it and doing the whole thing and, like, all this. And the DirecTV guy did not react. He did not think it was cool at all. He did not like it. And then we ended up getting in trouble for it. Because, like, you said, you were like, and then you gaslit us into thinking, like, we did something bad. But, yeah, I remember, like...

The Jane Silent Bob. Yeah. FFF. FFF. I remember I was obsessed with like Tenacious D and all the songs in there were so. Yeah. And my parents had this CD for the soundtrack. So me and my brother would listen to that. And then I was like, why? I remember growing older. I was like, why are my parents putting this on in the car for us? Like they thought that was funny that we were like, that was what we were learning. Right.

- Media of the week. - Like me when no one cares about media. Like we just do it for ourselves at this point. Like I just wanna talk. I just wanna keep talking about it. Like I saw Bottoms and it was so fucking funny. I'm literally gonna see it again tonight.

Best movie ever. And then songs. Q Fanfare by Prefab Sprout. Bring Me Back. Jeff Cowell. All I Have to Do is Dream. The Everly Brothers. That's it. Mine is Walk on By Otis the Third. And then what's that Stevie Wonder song? I Believe.

If I fall in love this time, it'll be forever. And then Don't Leave Me, Harry Nilsson. I have one. The happy song by Imogen Heap. I almost said that. I almost said that. Luna loves Imogen Heap. Look at her upper lip. What is she doing? She's like holding it down. Oh my God, she's the cutest baby ever.

Oh, you're going to talk now? Are you all going to put her under the plane? Yeah. Yeah. But, all right, that was the episode. Thank you, Madeline, so much. Shout yourself out. What's all your socials? Madeline and Steven. If you want to see more of me. Madeline and Steven on YouTube and TikTok. AX Madeline, AX Steven. Yeah, on IG. But that was that episode. Hope you enjoyed. This is my beautiful mother.

That's Steve. That's Luna. Thanks for watching. Thanks for being on, Madeline. That was awesome. I'm stealing this baby. She'll just stay with us. She's going to stay with us. She's going to stay with us. And we're going to take her to the nice guy. Yeah, she's going to party with us at Cha-Cha. You're on the list. We're going to get you on the list. She's going to get flewed out by Drake.