Drew comes out as straight with Barbie Ferreira
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Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Okay.

Okay, are you guys gonna say something or? Hey, we're here with my girlfriend. Yeah, my boyfriend. I just feel like I'm being pushed over to the side for something. Yeah, I mean, like, kind of. Okay, you don't have to do that. That's not okay. I mean, she was just trying to make me feel, like, better because you guys are, like, really in each other's shoes. I just want to address the fact that this chair seems very uncomfortable.

It isn't though, so. It isn't? No, I actually love it. I've molded it to my body. Dude, you without fail sit like that on it. Yeah, I have to. I have to like perch on the edge like we're saying. I love it. Okay, so...

About like four months ago, right? I came on the podcast and said I had my first girl kiss and I kissed a girl and everyone was like, who was it? And everyone was like, you're lying. No one believed me. No, but I'm here to confirm it's true.

Yeah, and my girlfriend was my first girl kiss and we've been dating for how long? Oh, wait, you guys are dating now? Yeah. It's getting really serious. It's been like, what, three days? Yeah, yeah. I'd say like three nights. Yeah. Oh, okay. So it's like literally... I mean, you can't really say you're dating yet then. Like, it's only been three nights. No, no, no. We're like pretty much in. I mean, I tend to be a lesbian, so this is kind of like the timing. I was going to say, both of you aren't like...

- I'm written by a woman. - I'm sorry. - What are we? - I'm written by a woman and I exude this energy that like-- - It's actually very true. - Yeah, that women love me so I made it happen. - You guys just made it work for each other. - You manifested me. - Exactly, manifested you. - Wait, what's your sign again? - Pisces. - Pisces, okay, cool. - Pisces, Gemini. - In any world would a Pisces and a Sag even get along for dating?

why not yeah we're making it work we're making it work you guys are like bending rules because the pattern says we're 100% compatible so that's what it matters exactly every morning I check my horoscope every morning it literally just says Barbie over and over it says Barbie hard hard hard yeah no Barbie every morning checks up on her tarot card reader I do I love them if you I got one today and it was like

If you got this on your For You page, there is someone thinking about you, and I was in. I was in. It was me. And it was Drew! It was me thinking about you. I guess someone was thinking about you, but, like, it probably meant, like, a lover, and I don't know if Drew's, like, your lover. I feel like you're not believing us. You don't? I just don't. No, I don't feel it. It feels very, like, it kind of feels like you're holding her hand hostage. Should we show her? We should show her. Oh. Oh, my God. I have a lip oil. Oh.

I got a lip oil from an Instagram ad, which I have been very much buying a lot of things from Instagram.

My lips are dyed. They're just like an Instagram ad that boiled. Tastes good. Tastes delicious. So yeah, that's the proof. I mean, when y'all kissed, he did sit in probably the most uncomfortable position I've ever seen him in. And men should. Yeah. But like, he just didn't like, I don't know. Men should be more uncomfortable. We were just talking about that. Yeah, no, they fully should. So maybe y'all should kiss more because he'll be uncomfortable. I love him.

Yeah, I don't think he... I mean, we can move past the fake relationship. Because I get... Yeah, it's real. It's real, but we don't have to talk about it. Yeah, because this whole thing is going to be me watching y'all date. Because at that point, what am I here? That's life from now on. We'll move on. That is literally life.

From now on. You're like, get fucking used to it. Get used to it. Get used to it. I used to make fun of all the IG ads and be like, why are they showing me this shit? I won't buy it. But it is insane. If somebody, especially like a story ad, if I see a story ad enough, there have been times where I like see one and then skip it. And then I'm like, oh, like trying to get back to it. I'm like, I'm going to buy it. I'm going to buy it. Where is it? And then I can't get it again. I recently bought a silky pajama set from an unnamed fan.

Texas like sorority girl company and I tried to return it because it did not fit and it was mislabeled and I DM'd them like four times for a refund and they just refused to answer me so maybe I'll just come out and say it I actually forgot the name because it was from an Instagram ad so it was the most random thing you've ever bought in your life it was truly so random and I felt like I bought these like silky pajamas and like free like I was like yes and they come in it's like this big I'm like oh well

it doesn't really and I try to DM them I go to send them an email nothing get it together getting to the point where you're sending

you're sending an email. I know. Me to fucking Equinox. I had to email them 36,000 times because they stole $700 from me. How? Over. Done. I like had a trainer for like a year because I needed like financial motivation to go. I literally don't even remember his name anymore. Like literally my biggest fucking op. He definitely played football in school and was tackled 8 million times. Yeah. That was his time. Exactly. He was like definitely his.

His head was his. Which Equinox was this? The gay one. Basically, I had like a bunch of training sessions left over and I told him several times, I was like, please don't book me more sessions because I'm just like done. Like I feel like I know how to work out on my own. Like whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, like...

come time to the end of like our last like you have to buy them in sets and come to the end of the last set that I bought. I was like, okay, cool. Like I'm free. Well, I checked my account the next day and he charged me for eight more sessions. And I was like, oh, this is crazy. I don't remember booking these and I don't remember going to one of these like because he said. Did you buy a package? You have to buy a package. Hmm.

And I was like, yeah, exactly. That's literally how I've been. I have been giving Savage X Fenty $50 for four years because I never turned off my VIP and you have to do a whole thing to turn it off. So they literally take money from me every month and I have not bought like anything from them for like three years. Wait, how much is it? It's like 50 or something. Maybe it's less. Maybe it's less. Wait, do they send you like a package every month? No. Just like you can buy it. It's like,

Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, it's like a membership. That is actually batshit crazy. Oh, AT&T does the same thing. Because of our first apartment, I never returned the router. So they charged me like $10 every month until I finished paying off this lost router. The way I was set up in New York, I never returned shit. Literally, it took me like until two years ago to get a credit card because of all like the misgivings of me at AT&T in New York. Like never returning a router.

never like paying my bills like you know and I had to fix it and it was a lot but I know that's like the thing every adult like real adult warned you about they're like if you fuck up your credit your life's gonna be a living hell and I still believe it to this day I'm like I do not want a credit card I never want to use a credit card like they're gonna get me but to finish that story basically he charged me for these seven sessions or eight sessions I did one of them on accident and then he quit and then

there were no there was no one to do the rest of the sessions with so i was just like sol and i emailed them 36 000 times to refund me i'm not joking like i emailed them like 20 times over the course of like four days and they never got back to me and like i guess they won in the end because they still go but like i literally want to cancel my membership so bad out of spite so much money it's disgusting why can't they just

Do a little refund. Give me my money back. And they were like, in the fine, fine print, it says no refunds. And I was like, okay, bitch, like watch me blow this spot up. You should just start peeing in random corners of the locker room. Actually, no. I think that already happened. They do. Yeah, it definitely does. They jizz in random corners of the locker room. It's nasty vibes. Yeah,

you're like i need to go there i've been to equinox once and i had a panic attack i was like it's too much going on but it was the soho one it was a bit too much going on in there i was like in a yoga class i literally walked out i was like the energy here is like it's really dark it's really dark i go we go at such specific times and we plan it around like normal people's work so i'm like we have to go when there's absolutely no one there and it's like 11 a.m or something yeah either super

early or super late when they keep repeating when everything closes. Like that's the vibe that needs to be happening is the music is barely playing and they're like, we're closing in 10 minutes. We're closing in five minutes. We're closed. Get out. Literally. I love it.

You can't pay me to go to Equinox, but I mean, it's a great gym. It's a beautiful gym. You're like, love it, love it. The vibe is scary. It's like, I just feel like I'm going to walk in and there's people just like, I don't even know. It's definitely a movie of some sorts in there for me, but I go to the tiny gay gym.

I'm not going to reveal where it is. So the gay agenda. Wait, wait, yeah, you should just say location so everybody can pull up. No, but it's fun. It's like there's literally no one there and that's how I prefer it except for me and my trainer, Shazza. I have to say something. The gay agenda is horrifying. And y'all are pushing it onto me and I'm done.

Like everyone's wishing me a happy pride month and all this shit. That's just not me. That's not the person I am. I mean, I guess, yeah, you did change him. Yeah, exactly. You turned me out. I did. You guys are helping each other find the righteous path. That's what's happening. And we're all together. We're like leaning into God.

Exactly. See, I've been saying I'm going to have my Christian arc and you turned me out. And I'm here to help you. Yeah, you're guiding me down the right path. You guys should start like a summer camp but for only straight people. I agree. So like every weekend. Yeah. Maybe not. I don't want to.

Billions. Yeah. Let's do it. But yeah, I'm just kind of, I have my notes written down and I have Enya abortion on counter and I've been saving this for so long. What is that? Okay, so Enya has this lip tint that she puts on her lip. You've probably seen it. If you're like on your like getting targeted ads and stuff, it's like the one that you put on it, it like fully peels off. Yes. Is it the typology? The typology? Yeah.

I feel like I... It's not... It's like seishua or like some... I don't know how to pronounce it. People have to like call shit like Billy or something so I could like start saying names, right? Because like I don't know what fucking name it is. But yeah, so she has it on there. And then instead of peeling it off and throwing it in the trash can or in the toilet and flushing it, she peels it off and flicks it on the counter and it just sits there and it literally looks like...

a congealed mass of like blood. Oh, I love it. I mean, I did good today. Yeah. I knew you were coming. So I like scraped it out of the sink. Cause I was like, I don't want her to think that I emptied my diva cup in here. And it's just like, I actually would love that. I would love to just leave my diva cup out. Yeah.

Yeah. I did. This is like so gross and I hate that like this is where this conversation is heading right now. But I did have what I believe to be a minor miscarriage in the toilet. Oh. Because something came out of my flow that was, oh, I don't want to touch you. Oh, because you're jealous. Yeah. I mean, I'm just respecting Barbie's property. So I'm not going to like touch you. Property? Hold on. Yeah. Let's unpack that. I agree. Yeah.

Yeah, like you're her property now. That's just the way that works. I just don't own anybody and no one owns me because I'm a 3D. I mean, but she owns you. You don't own anybody because she owns you. And he chose her. He chose her. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you chose that life. I guess. I guess. But I had something that was so odd come out of my flow that I almost called Drew into the bathroom to look at it. You should have. I'm so fascinated by periods. I love them. It was just too much. It's a lot.

But it was really, really gross. And I was like, damn. And then yesterday, actually, I like ran out of the bathroom to grab an edible, like in the middle of like getting ready to use the shower. And I didn't flush the toilet. And I was so scared you were going to go in and see like the massacre in the toilet. But maybe I feel like you love that shit, no? Yeah, no, it's beautiful. I love mine. I love like. Is that not your vibe? I just mentioned playing with the deep about you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She can't empty her diva cup without me in the room. I mean, it's good because then it's always clean when you need to get to it. Because you just like cleaned it right up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Famously. The past three nights has been really illuminating. And Drew. In y'all's relationship. I guess, yeah, y'all have learned a lot in three days. Famously. Famously. That is literally...

My most favorite thing that you say is famously. Like, I'm literally going to steal it and make it my own. Well, Ziwe, Chad the Ziwe, she says that on her show all the time. Oh, okay. So I can't take credit for it. But famously is infamously, too. You know, my new vibe because I'm on my, like, villain arc. Yeah. You're in your villain arc. I really am.

I was like, what have I become? But that's good. Yeah. I think that's a good place for women to be. Because I've talked about that on the podcast. Women need to dig into being selfish, villains, evil, scammers. We need more women who are scamming. We do need more women who are scamming. And I'm the one to be scammed. Oh.

Oh, literally, literally. Okay, well, also, do you, I was watching yesterday the cut and like, it was so fucking weird. They somehow put in, they were talking to like old people and like asking them about them being scammed. Do y'all think when you're older, you'll be hella scammed? When I'm older, I will be scammed. There will be, there will be like some super futuristic, like crazy, like,

scam that I fall for. Oh, you know what happened the other day that's not a scam? I was at dinner and I started getting all these calls from like random area codes, like from New York, right? And then I answer one and they're like, come over. And I'm like, what is this? And then I get these texts that are like, I forgot what the word was. It was like inbound or outbound. Someone put my number on

on like an escort ad. So I got like over a course of an hour, I got like 20 calls being like, yo, where are you? Wait, but they were like obsessed with you though. No, but I don't know...

I have no idea if someone did it on purpose. Yeah. Or it was like, because my area code is like from New York. Maybe it was like an accident. Like they put the wrong. Like a digit off. Yeah, because it did stop after an hour. And they were like, it's from your ad that you posted. I'm like, what ad? Fuck, I wish we could find the ad to see what they were like. That would be so awesome. What was being advertised. It was a lot. And it was like in the middle of the night. And it was like people like, it was like Bronx, New York.

like uptown like it was like literally like they're like I'm in Washington Heights and I'm like like I'm literally like I'm like at dinner like like I'm like backtracking everything I'm like where is this I'm putting my number on like it's just yeah yeah so I've been very good about like being able to tell what's like a scam call versus like a real call

and I still like, I thought I was good about it, but I still answer them and they do ask for my social security number all the time. But even with like someone like in my personal life, I will be like, I'm not texting it to you. I'm not like giving it. Who is asking you for your social security? Just like. I think I've asked. I literally think

I've asked for before. Yeah, I don't like texting it. I don't like saying it over the phone. Okay, why won't you just text it to me? Because I am the opposite. I'm like, what? Like, I literally will just like, I am so bad with keeping track of it, but I think the difference is,

I haven't had my shit stolen or anything. I was about to say. And he's literally had his whole like life stolen. They literally drained my bank accounts in a crazy way when I was like 18. So long story short, I think I've told it already. I don't know if I have, but like the Universal shit, when I went to Universal, I tried to sneak alcohol in. They like, I was like 17 and they were like, uh,

this is not okay. And they took me to like this back room with like security guards. The Universal crew? Yes, yes. Dude, and it was a fucking bitch. Like she, I was like, bitch, you want to be a real officer? So fucking bad. You were working the security line at Universal right now. She had like tiny man syndrome where it's like the big man that works out a bunch because they like are so small, like Napoleon complex, but like in a woman. But- Because she was like this-

This isn't grapefruit juice. No, I said, oh, it's... This isn't grapefruit juice. I said it's raspberry water. And they were like, one guy was like, oh, okay, yeah, you can go, but you can't bring that in. And then she was like, stop. And she was like, let me smell. And she was like, this is raspberry vodka. And I was like, okay, just let me throw it away. You should have been like, okay, you're a fucking alcoholic. Why did you smell that, bitch? Yeah, why do you know that? It's literally crazy. How do they even care?

I don't know. And it was closed down too. It was just people. It was a part of like, do you remember like playlists shit? Like, it was like a convention for YouTubers and they would close that down. So that's live? Yeah. So that YouTubers could go to Universal. So it was one of those nights. So I think.

and that's happening that day, honey. Yeah, I literally, that's not the worst thing entering the park. The craziest thing is Enya and my twin sister Madeline both had alcohol on them and they got to go through but they stopped me because I took it off my waist. I was serving 16 and sexy. Well, I was giving sexy hot too but in like a different way. I mean, yeah.

But so they took me to Universal Gel and they took out the oldest fucking phone iPhone I've ever seen in my entire life. Like it was old even then. Like it was insane and tiny. And they like took pictures of me in front of a blue wall and made me turn to my side. Is it like in the Universal backlots right now? I don't know because I want those photos so bad. Yeah, I'm sure it was.

I was like up on the wall for like a year because you were banned for a year. I was banned. Like he wasn't allowed to go in. And they were like, even if you step foot in this parking lot, you're going to jail. And I was like, okay, fucking relax. Like this is insane. But basically they put me back on the bus to like go home. And I'm sitting on this bus and like I was on there for like 15 minutes and she was just waiting to see if like anybody else would like hop on. And she had to charter me alone on this big ass like.

public bus all the way back to the hotel. And I get there and I get to my room and I'm like, um...

I try to like find my car, my key card. And I'm like, Oh my god, I don't have my wallet. So I call the bus company. And they're like, Oh, we don't have your wallet either. And then I call the universal. I'm like, Oh, I must have just left it in like this scanner. They must have like taking it. We're taking that shit. Yes, exactly. They all denied it fully. And I was like, fuck, dude, like, how am I going to get home because I'm in Florida. And so

And I also had my social security card in there. - So this is a Florida universal security card? - Yes, exactly. - Oh, okay, it's different. - Yeah, exactly. - So you had your shit stolen for scamming. - Yeah, exactly. - By me, I sold it. - The universal people drained my fucking bank account. Oh yeah, literally, wait. The common denominator is Enya in Florida. - Absolutely. - Hello. - It is Florida in general, which Enya-- - I mean, if you look back at my videos, I did always have a lot of expensive makeups. - And it was from the wallet that--

that yeah it was because I stole y'all's wallets and I sold your information I have like no money in that debit card it was like negative 200 I'm like good luck have fun have fun put more money in please but yeah I haven't had anything like that happen to me so I've just been lucky and brave and

And that leads me to my next question is, do y'all think you would? Because I just watched this TikTok of these like girls saying how they were trying to help somebody who was drunk in a lobby of a hotel, this older woman, and that they just approached her really wrong. And they were like, we're going to take you upstairs. And that she was just like, you're going to what? Like she was freaking out. And then they were like, oh, I think she thought we were trying to sex traffic her because we were just like following her. We were following her to make sure she wasn't too drunk. You also, Pats.

the amount of like warnings I get on my TikTok because I have to get a new TikTok because I can't get into my original TikTok so I'm on like really just like we'll shout it out yeah we'll shout it out we'll shout it out just so enough people interact with the empty account I just need something because my algorithm is like what I assume like a Facebook mom is on and it is like every

- Minions. - These are things that happen when people are trying to sex traffic you. And I'm like going crazy because I'm like, oh, this is-- - There's a lot of time. - Yeah, you're getting your-- - Older people are obsessed with like, we're like telling people about like how people sex traffic, they have like these like zip ties on your like door, like your car door. - You try to take it off. But do y'all know the like Jeep stuff where like there's like Jeep Wranglers and the rubber duckies and it's like this whole culture in Jeep like Wranglers. They like, you get ducked and you have to like,

put the duck in your dashboard. - No. - Well, it's this whole thing that Jeep owners do that they like trade rubber duckies and it's like, you've been ducked or whatever. - Okay. - Well, this one girl who had a Jeep Wrangler found a duck on her hood and she was like, made like a whole TikTok series. - This is the new tactic for sex trafficking. - Exactly, exactly. - You're gonna put the rubber duck

rubber duck on your car so that they can always identify your car with the rubber duck in the window. Everyone is so paranoid. It's like crazy. It's like every other video is either that or like reviews of cruises that I get. And it's like this is the all adult virgin cruises and this is what you get for the all inclusive package that is like literally. We literally need to go on a cruise. Yeah, do you like cruises? No, but I'm willing to go for like

an experiment of sorts. Yeah, because I really need to go again as an adult because I've been on one when I was younger and I want to go and just black out for seven days. Break my sobriety. Yeah, I think the only thing it is is getting fucked up. I've never...

I've never seen a video of someone prepping for a cruise without putting tequila into a wine bottle. I did not know this, that they sneak in alcohol because it's very expensive on there. But there's also the all-inclusive ones, which I, again, I have been really, I've been really in that. I have no plans on going on a cruise, but I know everything about the Virgin Atlantic cruise. Your TikTok feed is like a tarot card reader being like, so you're going to get sex trafficked on your next cruise. That's what the next tarot card reader is.

And the way they like deliver it is like, okay, you guys like this is going to save your life. If you're ever at a Trader Joe's and then you see like a duck like wheel and I'm like, what the I literally now like walk around like paranoid. Yeah. The thing is, I'm like so aloof and I genuinely don't think my brain functions at a high rate at any point anymore, which is crazy because I don't think I've done that many bad things to like in my life to make my brain work at such a slow function. But it's literally I'm a

But mine is just like, I am just too aloof in the world. And I could literally be walking down the most dangerous street ever. But I'm like, if I feel like I'm in danger, I'm just freaking myself out for no reason. And then I'm like, it's chill. Like, I'm fine. I used to walk around like butt ass naked in like New York at 2 a.m. Titties out. Like, in like no one around. That's my girl. Like, I, it was like, I have no fear anywhere, which is a problem. I know. I have no fear. But it's also like what happens when you just grow up, like,

in certain like cities it's like your bar of danger is like so much lower because you're just like I've been around danger like I grew up in danger yeah I grew up in danger did you grow up in Brazil no I grew up in New York okay but I did go to Brazil oh yeah you were saying you got like shipped off to Brazil I did for a little bit it's classic like

You just like ship them off. My mom, when she had me, was like super young and had like not even an apartment to her name. And also was like single because my dad was like her roommate. Oh, that's going to happen to me and Drew. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah. So she was like, I need you to like leave. Like when I was like one, like just like spent a year in Brazil while she tried to get a job. And she did go to culinary school.

I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like, I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like, I miss the taste.

That's a serve. I want to go to Brazil really badly. You should. You should go to Bahia. I love Bahia. That's awesome. Rio's cool. I went there for the first time. It's a bit like hectic. Also on my new TikTok, I've been realizing there's a difference between a traveler and a vacationer. And I'm going to say it right here. I'm a vacationer. I do not need. I do not want to backpack through anything. I don't want it.

I don't want to see all the sites. Like I don't want to see iPhones now. Like I don't need to see it. Why? So I could take a picture of it. Bitch. Y'all are taking pictures. I'm not waking up early to go like hike a mountain to go see some clouds. Like I just am not doing that.

and it's like I want to vacation and a lot of my friends who grew up rich love to travel and like see the sights of different countries I'm like I'm good I like want to get a hotel room and then stay in the hotel room the entire time absolutely it's giving that but I will say I am a bit of a traveler because like there are some things that I'm like oh I have to see that like I have to see Stonehenge one day like even though it's gonna be so so fucking underwhelming but like I simply must they just need to get like a helicopter charter over

there and I'll go. They probably do. I'm terrified of helicopters. I know they like freak me out. Everybody who leaves Coachella on a helicopter I'm like y'all don't like fear. Did you guys go? You have no fear? No. We didn't go. No. Yeah. It was working. Do you like Coachella? No. It's pretty awful right? It's pretty awful. I

I do not like crowds because I get like really claustrophobic which is like so I'm very lame but I used to go for like brand deals to like make money and I would like stay in the hotel I think the only set I've ever watched was like in 2000 like 17 17 I saw like Grimes once and that

- Was this like post spaghetti eating like homeless art? - That was like absolutely like during it, I think. It was pre Elon Musk. It was like, gosh, I don't even know. But I remember I swindled with my friend. She actually was Nikki Takeshi. She was on the podcast as well. I remember this so vividly. She like swindled this like security guard with like $10 to let us into like the artist pass area and it worked.

Oh, shit. And we pretended to know Grimes. Like, I didn't say anything. I kind of was sitting there, like, bewildered at her, like, ability to do that. And she got us in. And that's it. And then I went, like, once more for, like, a brand deal. And I literally stayed at the hotel. I did not go to the festival. I didn't go to the festival.

I just don't like it. Like I don't. The dust. It's the dust. I don't like festivals. It's like hot. And it's like, I actually didn't want to go this year because of like Ethel and like Charlie and like Julia and everyone. But I was unfortunately working. But I did. This year was literally for the gays. The girls and the gays. Absolutely. Yeah. A hundred percent. But you can't, you literally couldn't pay me any amount of money to go to Coachella because I think it's like, I literally am like, it's demonic. You literally couldn't pay me any amount of money to go to Coachella. I say.

like I don't do like the most absurd things for a chat I will I'm like yeah I love no I love that oh that's a good idea yeah we should do that but like oh it's so I I just don't like it either like I don't like being around like a bunch of people I don't know it freaks me out I'm like some the killers in here the killers in the crowd yeah literally someone's gonna stab me with like a dirty needle or some shit like it's giving me simply like I feel like I cannot breathe there's a lot of people around me like

me like I like freak out I'm like I'm not a good hang turns out yeah I just turns out turns out I am not divine I'm not divine I'm not

- Would you ever do a hot air balloon? You said you hated helicopters. - I spent some time in Albuquerque, New Mexico and that is like a big part of the culture there. And like, I've heard that every year, like people die. - Oh, doing hot air balloons? - Because there's a balloon fiesta. - I would be the one who dies. - It's actually really gorgeous. Like I remember I was doing, it was like 2019, I was doing a movie there and like I woke, we had to be there like 5:00 AM so that you see, I was like at a location and you see all these balloons like,

just in the air and it's like magical gorgeous I won't be stepping on it I actually realized after going to Six Flags like last year I do not need any thrill really I need no thrills I need nothing I don't want to go to a roller coaster I don't want to like be on a hot air balloon I want to skydive I don't want to do any of that yeah no I don't want to do that I'm just like I wouldn't like what

- Whatever put me here never had the intention for me to get in a plane and like fall from the fucking sky. Like literally why would I be doing that? - I just don't want to, I used to like- - And you have to train for it. You have to like do shit to get to it. Like I can't just do it. - I just wanna do it with someone on my back.

Yeah, yeah, you would have to do. You just want intimacy. I want a man close to me. I also only watch guy on, I only watch guy on guy porn because I like respect a woman. Exactly. No, I knew that about you. I caught it a couple times in the past few days. Three days? Whoa, you have a problem with like porn. It's not a problem. I'm just studying. I just think it's

you know it's we're working on it yeah okay yeah we are working on it you're gonna help him you're gonna fix him we have church tomorrow I mean you are fixing him yeah in a lot of ways the church potluck yes what are y'all bringing mac and cheese mac and cheese

what is it? A casserole. Oh. Which I'm pretty sure I've never had a casserole in my life. Yeah, now that I'm Christian, I like really enjoy it. Oh, it comes along with it. Yeah, it's just like part of it. Yeah, I don't think I've ever had a casserole and I don't know if I can say what a casserole is. Like, I don't know what it is. I think it's a dish of like

- Stuff? - Canned goods in one. - It's just a mushy pile of yumminess, but I'm also white, so I love a good casserole. - Yeah, you grew up on a lot of casserole, what kind of casserole? Green bean? - Green bean casserole. - I'm allergic to green beans, so. - Really? - A little bit of a red flag.

Yeah, your beige flag. Have you ever seen the beige flag? Can we talk about those red flags? Because I've been thinking a lot about my red flags lately. I actually almost wrote down a note. I was just like, I am the biggest lesbian red flag to ever exist. And

One is a Starbucks drink. I know you pulling up with a Starbucks. I was like, it's literally like warm. Like you've been carrying it for like three hours. I'm like a human ashtray. I love analog cigarettes. I love. Which I can get down with. I literally saved your cigarettes that you rolled me. The kids are canceling Jenna Ortega for smoking a cigarette. I'm like, damn, they really, um, they gave up on me because no one's ever done that. We need to save Barbie. No one wants to save Barbie.

I'll start it. I'll start the movement. I'll make a new TikTok account. Yeah, honey. I've been smoking since I was 16. Okay? You're not fixing me. You can't fix me. I'll do the thing where it's like I'll record you for like three seconds and then be like, she said if this gets a million likes, she'll stop smoking. My grandma said. Maybe that's what I need. That's the push I need. You need validation. How many likes would it take? How many likes would it take? Honestly...

I can't even give you a number because I have been to the dentist trying to get my teeth whitened and they were like, you can't smoke for three days and I have left and paid the fee. I've been like, I'm so sorry, three days.

Barbie famously rolls her own cigarettes, which is really crazy. I love that energy. I do roll my own cigarettes. I've smoked everything cigarette-wise, tobacco-wise. I used to smoke Marlboro 27s. I jeweled for a long time. Jewels were ops, bro. They ruined my life. Drew and I did discuss having biological children. Oh, my God. Oh, wait. Y'all actually did.

I don't think it'll fix my depression. And I think that no one has ever thought this before, but like it might just fix all my problems if I have a baby. Yeah. Just put a baby on top of everything. I really do need a child. I need a child mostly because I want, because I was watching Selling Sunset and I was telling you, it gave me baby fever because it's like they're never with their kid, but they're always like, I'm going to go back to my son. Okay. Every time there's drama, they're like, I'm going to go back to my son. I don't need this right now. Oh, that is.

such a good like argument like I literally have a fucking kid I can't be doing this with you I don't have time for this I have to go be a mother I have to go be a mother mother wait mother I have to go breastfeed I have to go analog feed my children and they're like Versace like get up and they're like oh my god this is so disgusting isn't it and it's like everyone's like yeah I get it girl I've been there the empathy that comes along with being a mother the last season of Sally Sunset I just watched it was so good I need to tap in I don't know if you tap in

No, I don't watch it. Christine, we miss. We miss Christine. But there's a couple of girls who are fighting for the Christine spot. I don't know if they're winning. I don't know if they're winning. She's just irreplaceable. Oh, yes. But there's, again, there's a few girls that are trying to be like the bitch. And you can't just try. You have to be. You're either the villain

We have that conversation all the time where we gotta start being nicer to the villains of reality TV because they are what makes it interesting. And if the invention of the internet along with...

like reality TV it kind of like ruined it because everybody's like fuck this bitch and tries to like ruin their career like no we need the villains we need and you either are a villain or you're not and you can't make yourself a villain yeah sometimes when I'm like feeling like really burnt out I just want to watch something that has no plot no villains nothing and even like I was watching the secret life of pets and as soon as it started getting like too crazy I turned it off because I was like I need to watch a Spongebob episode I know in 15 minutes it'll there's a conflict and then there's a

resolutions. Yeah, yeah. The villains are what makes the stakes high. Sometimes I don't want high stakes. Sometimes I want the lowest stakes. Yeah, the like most empty thing ever. I should just start watching, like what's the kids watching? Bluey? Am I like out of it? I know Bluey. Yeah, we're about to have our child. Oh yeah. I mean, are y'all gonna let your kids watch like Coco Melon or are you gonna actually take care of your child? Miss Rachel, hello. We're gonna do Miss Rachel. We're gonna go straight to like Schindler's List. Oh yeah. Fallen Angel. Citizen Kane. Yeah.

Just the good ones. Will our kid be like an annoying film bro? Do we want that? I think so, yeah. What are we trying to... I think it also depends. If y'all have a boy, are y'all gonna make an annoying boy? And if you have a girl, are you gonna make her a fun girl? We're gonna have the girl. We're gonna have the girl. And she's gonna be an annoying, pretentious film nerd. But she's gonna have swag and charisma that like...

It's infectious, so it's not pretentious. You know, like if I went on like a spew about movies, what? I just don't know that like you're the... Do you watch movies? I love movies. I think I watch movies. I don't. It turns out I don't. You should watch Solo.

What is that? It's like a really good movie. Dope. No, what's the pitch? Have you seen it? Yeah, it's like, it's basically about like sodomy and like eating shit and stuff. Oh. Oh, is it that, um,

where they all are like in the the human sense yeah they're all like a little bowl oh yeah yeah i've been there but yeah yeah oh so you also this film called two girls one cup is actually really advanced when i was in high school i like had like a really like nihilistic arc like it was really really gnarly existential vibes i genuinely like was convinced that i was an alien at one point oh my god this is why

why we're together i know we're like twins oh yeah because y'all are both actually fucking crazy you're like wow whatever well i decided that i don't need to be hanging out with anybody um younger than 21 ever again because i've decided my biggest pet peeve is here oh yeah he's you should know you're digging the legs asleep because it's not comfy yeah

That was so slick. I acted like I was leaving, but I actually grabbed my vape and hit it. Yeah. So no one has to see it. But I just don't need to be around. I've decided my biggest pet peeve is when someone a little younger than me says some shit where they think they're bringing a really intense conversation to the table. And it's like, you know, what I've realized recently is I just need to surround myself with people who I trust. Yeah. And I'm like...

You just found this out. What's happening? Like, what are we talking about? How old are you, Anya? I'm 24. Yeah, I'm 26. So much older than everyone here. And it's okay. But yeah, that... Not Kai. Yeah, Kai's 8,000 years old. No, we weren't going to let you go. 36? 8.

No, he's 29. You didn't think about that. No, 38. Hello. He's 29, but like 48 in dog years or how does it go? Like you're really old. That's hot. Wait, we were literally just talking about like you saw everybody posting like the dog who's like 30, like the oldest dog ever. No. I'm like, put,

fucking misery no he's they usually are chihuahuas his eyes are melting out of his face live too long like we need to like we need to just have a service like i wish we could read their brain waves and see if they wanted to be around anymore because in dog years that thing is 240 years old like put like it doesn't want to be here there's no way it wants to be here it doesn't even it's not even aware that it's here i love like that's the thing i love that i

Back to the thing about like 21 year olds and under, because I think this like somehow connects in my brain. But like that is the kind of shit that I have been seeing on my reels. Let's address my algorithm a little bit. Oh, it is insane. It's actually like... So I have been like getting a lot of like...

like because i make fun of it i get a lot of people or make fun of it and i don't mean i just like send it to people because it's entertaining and i do support like you know young people young people like expressing themselves on the internet but it's like it's all like it's all like you know like when he's at your locker and like he doesn't trust you and he like lies to you about the text and it's like i'm deep in the drama and i've also been watching like

Like loyalty test like this and they have millions of likes it's crazy crazy, and it's like so like under 21 I don't even know what it's like wow he's really going to the girls crib and like he has a girlfriend right here And it's like who has the time It's like in a job challenge everyone I thought we were gonna talk about 15 year olds like it has to be 15 year olds interacting with it like fun

Dead Rose emoji vibes. Yeah, that's when I was in middle school and I was like, fuck, I can't believe I have to have sex next year, like in eighth grade. Like I thought I had to. It's like my boyfriend isn't like honest with me. I'm like, you're 17 years old. Like I just... It's okay. Your dad was never going to tell you the truth. I'm even reading, like I don't know if I'm just being, I'm like in an era right now that I don't even know what to name it, but I've been reading this like...

congeniality yeah it's like my like I'm observing like the 21 year old and like seeing because I'm no longer 21 and I you know still feel like I am like a teenager sometimes and I'm like what is going on with me like am I going through a quarter life crisis where like I'm no longer playing teenagers on TV like I'm aged out of it like I'm like now I'm college age I'm like holy fucking shit but now you're lead you're the lead yeah you're the girl you

sometimes i'm the girl sometimes i'm just a team player yeah i thought we were gonna talk about your um buttholes and boobs algorithm well also not only that but that that being your algorithm does kind of make sense and puts a lot of things into perspective because like the third time we hung out we just watched porn yeah we did it

It was like just fun porn. Yeah, we weren't like, this is... We did. We put it on the TV. I know, but like I need to clarify, we weren't...

like jerking off our watching board it was literally the scariest shit i've ever seen in my entire life yes the eggs the eggs my algorithm is like i think instagram now like fully just allows like whatever like they're down for whatever i've seen whole on instagram i wonder if it's like just not like going under the radar oh actually i have to show you like i see you know those girls that it's like it's like such a like

It's like on every, it's on everyone's algorithm. I'm pretty sure it's not. But it's like those girls with like 10 million likes and they just like have like these giant titties. Yeah. Hold. It's all hold. No dead ass free the hold. Also, like it went from that to three best oils to keep your wiener moisturized. I'm in Jimbo's business on reels. I'm literally on like steroid guy like reels because I find it hilarious. Amazing. Because it's like insane. Like the creatine.

like everything oh my god i'm i'm drew loves this i love creatine yeah it makes me nice and big what is it it's like it's good for recovery but it also is like low-key a vasodilator maybe i don't know if it's a vasodilator but i like literally went to community college for a week so i mean actually literally me um but it uh

is like a vasodilator or something like that. Or like it adds water to your muscles, but basically it makes you look bigger after your workout. - So can I shoot it into my ass? - Yes. - Yes. - Yeah, we should start injecting it into certain parts that need a little something. - Silicone. - Let's see what happens. - I think I'm gonna get silicone balls implanted. - Yeah, what's wrong with your balls, Drew? - I just want them to be bigger. - I mean, I would have assumed you've-- - They're too small. - Seen them, yeah. - I've seen them, right? - I just want nasty pool balls. - Oh, you have nothing good to say. - I have nothing to say period.

you just want giant balls we were just talking about that though and that's like so gross and I'm sorry to anybody who's watching who has giant balls but like get a grip yeah apart from Drew I haven't seen a penis in real life in like fucking years and you are so lucky and I'm the broken sigma yeah Drew turned me out too yeah you guys that's what I'm saying you guys are like healing each other because that's how it should be you know I think

I'm like at an age where I'm just like, I don't need to be gay. I don't need this. We've literally talked about that before. I don't need to be gay anymore. Have you seen Saucy Santana on live with, I don't know if it was Young Miami or I don't

Can't believe I'm blanking on... Carisha. Carisha, yeah. I don't know who it was, but they were, like, on live, and Saucy Santana was just like, once I hit 50, I'm not doing this gay shit anymore. It's a lot of work! It's just like, you don't do it. Dude, I watch... I'm like, again, my algorithm is straight, and I'm like...

like I'm fantasizing about it I'm like this seems so like just chill man does the housework I do my own thing like that's lit I love it it is the most simple thing ever but like people are trying to like mess that up like people are trying so hard to be like but like work should be equally divided no my first relationship is I don't do anything so I don't know what that is like maybe I just need someone to like I

I need to find someone online like on like one of those websites like kink websites where a caretaker kink because that's really what I need is just someone who's literally gonna hand me the water from over there and just like let me be just like in a little bubble on my couch I do need to be taken care of that's all I need and my partner needs to be like either like

Like, no, actually needs to be absurdly fucking disgustingly rich. Like, that's it. Like, I need... That's what I need. Yeah, but I feel like that's such a... It's hard to find. Yeah, it's such a specific market. Like, you have to be such a specific person. It's like selling your soul. You do.

None of us can keep our mouth quiet enough to get into like this section of life where someone with that much money will like, but people with that much money won't like silence. If they're not, they want silence and sex. But the thing is, it's like also people with a lot of money, like if you, and they're like not like the most fortunate looking person, which is of course like all of them. Hello, Elon Musk is hot. What?

- Oh. - Oh my God. - Elon, you're bad. - Drew, I thought we were together. - Your girl is right here. - I'm sorry, but-- - Not Elon, you're gonna steal my man. - The second Elon's in my DMs, I'm leaving. - Oh my God. - You're leaving me for Elon?

Not now. Y'all have like three more days. We have like the weekiversary. Oh my god, what are you guys going to do for your weekiversary? Oh my gosh, we go to Universal Florida? Yeah, we're going to do Universal Florida and get like the big grand tour. I've also been really into Disney bounding. Not like personally, but just observing and watching. Yes, I do need to do Disney. What should we Disney bound as? Guys, can I come? Guys, can I come?

No. I'll take your pictures. Where would we be? I'm Woody and you're the, what is the girl? Oh, I forgot her name. Jessie. Jessie. And then you're like Mr. Potato Head. Mr. Potato Head. I love it. It's actually Potato Head now. It's just Potato Head. So.

That's what I'm saying. Being straight is easy. This is what I'm talking about. It's like, you know, I love to be gay. I love to be gay. My partner, Drew, loves to be gay too. But sometimes it's just easier. That's why we found each other. We both have the same goal. We're settling down. Oh, the goal was just to make it work. Let's make it work. There's no other way but to make this work. I mean, before you know it, you'll be like 30. And then what?

I mean, he's doing good for himself. I mean, you're pushing. So he's pushing it, yeah. I mean, it's the closest you could get to 30 other than being 31. It truly is. When's your birthday? What's your sign? May 29th? 27th? Is it May 29th? Do you know a lot of astrology? No, I just like to pretend. Okay.

Yeah, it's hard. What is a Pisces to you? It's hard to be gay again. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone you're flirting with and acted like you knew exactly what was happening with astrology shit? Oh, absolutely. Every single person I date, it's like, let's add each other in the pattern. And then it's always something awful. And you're like, I'm getting more of that. And they're like, you know what? This is even better because we're going to overcome it and then we don't. We do not overcome it. I've also been dating a lot of Tauruses. Yeah.

And that has to come to an end. No more Tauruses. So Tauruses aren't good? It's like the only sign I won't do right now. Wait, who else? I feel like there's a lot of Tauruses in the world. A lot. What is it? Orion's birthday is the most. Which is a Scorpio. Scorpio. Oh, Virgo, Virgo. Oh my God. Oh. She's going to be mad. She's a Virgo, not a Scorpio. Wait, wait, wait. What was it? What was it saying?

There's, like, a lot of them in the world. Like, a lot of tourists? Yeah, tourists. Yeah, there's, like, a lot of... There's a lot of Sages, too. I feel like... But my mom says she conceived me on St. Patrick's Day, which is ridiculous because I have never once celebrated St. Patrick's Day with my mother. But she, like, went to, like, fucking... She probably went to a really good fucking party. Yeah, then my dad... Like, she just fucked up. Oh, Aries is the number one. Really? Yeah. Aries?

I'm three people who know like, oh, wait, no, this is Leo and Virgo. I just like to say it. I just like to like be like a massage or whatever.

Nicki Minaj is a savage. I know. I was literally about to quote her. I'm an Aquarius. Everybody always guesses me right, which just makes me feel annoying. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's like, you're an Aquarius. I'm like, yeah. They're like, yeah. When I say I'm a Pisces, people freak the fuck out because then I'm like, oh, I'm like a Pisces. And they're like, what's the other one? And I don't know if it's like a moon or something, like what the other sign is. And I'm like, I'm a Pisces Gemini. And when I tell them that, they...

freak the fuck out, like in the craziest way. They're like, oh, you're the worst. So Pisces and Gemini? Yeah. I like Gemini. That's why we're together. Exactly. Exactly. But yeah, they tell me I'm like the worst person ever, that I'm like manipulative, evil, emotional, the victim, like all of that. And that's why I like you. Exactly. I actually like have been looking for someone who just serves victim all day. Because...

It's giving victim. I want to be the villain and I want like. Yeah. Yeah. You can be. We can help you. Thank you. Or I can help you be like attack him if you want. Okay. It would be easy. Also, sorry. I was just on my phone. My mom was calling me and that's either to pay the phone bill or something bad happened because I'm always convinced if someone's calling you on the phone, it's something bad.

Every time my mom called me on the phone, I answer it like in a haste, like, is everyone alive? And she's like, yeah. I'm like, okay, good. That's all I need. Yeah. And she instilled that fear in me. I know, literally. That's like anybody from my family calls, I'm like, something bad, terribly bad has happened. And then I'm like, what happened? And they're like, I just want to talk. I just want to say hello, check in. Nah.

- You're hiding. - I did a, do you know what a sensory deprivation tank is? - Absolutely. - Okay, so have you ever done one? - I did a sensory deprivation room. - Okay, how was that? - I feel like you might've done the same thing because what you were describing was so big. - Mine was like a giant room with a puddle on the floor. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the room. 'Cause you can go into a pod.

Yeah, I want to do the politics. Yeah. And if you just felt deprivation above, like naked floating around. No, I was genuinely paranoid that there were cameras. Me too. In the sauna room. I was like, I was like laying down and then I got up and I kind of did like a very like maybe schizoaffective thing. And I went around and like everything that I could see, it was like checking. I did the same thing. I like open the door. So the light would come in and I looked around. I was like, okay, there's no cameras in these walls. So that's when I'm peeing. Um,

I'll be like, if you're listening to this, you're a pervert. Because sometimes I'll be at work and I'll have a mic. I don't want to like... No one's listening to it. But just in case, I like whisper like threats to people. Just in case I'm like...

or like whatever and like so they can't they can't sew your piss track without a cause if they do it's gonna be like yeah you like it you fucking little piss baby you know what I mean like I'm like I have to and I'll check everything yeah I used to like love just like being naked publicly in like spas and stuff and now I'm like really paranoid and I think it's the internet and age yeah 100% I'm the same way I hate being like

in like the locker room naked but actually recently I have like actually just been like yeah literally the disgusting man that walks around naked that's me that's all me I'm like really instilling a lot of like confidence great values she's teaching you to like be the man in the room yeah like yeah I ew oh

that's my man right there is that your man that's my man that's my man i don't mind being butt naked nasty also um something is i can't i'm not gonna say it i'm gonna say it i was like something's desperately wrong with me because i have fully felt myself performing for the male gaze in case there's a camera recording me pissed oh i love it i'm like i gotta give it a show if it's happening if it's happening that's so funny i feel so good i'm like being like

Like the Ariana Grande video that I was telling y'all about where she wouldn't show the right side of her face. Just like working the camera at any cost. I want to like get to that level. Just like the only thing that matters is how I look on camera, which is like a really liberating feeling. Sometimes you just watch yourself. You ever just watch yourself back and go...

- Yes, all the time. - You know what, it was good. - Yeah, I just like at this point have accepted, I genuinely am one of those people who are like, I'm pretty in person. I'm like, you just have to see me in person. Like you don't have to see me in video. Like I'm pretty in person. - I'm pretty on camera and in person. So it's like, I can't relate to that experience. - Well, everyone's definition of pretty is very different too. So I'll let you have that because. - Oh, look at that face. That's my favorite face. - Did you teach him that one? Oh yeah.

You're going to suck in the cheek a little bit. Clench the jaw. Well, your scary beard covers your... But you know what? Jude does have such a jawline. I know. I hate it. It's my biggest insecurity. I know. He's always like, oh, I want to get rid of my jawline. I'm like, why would you want to get rid of it? He wants to round out the face. Exactly. He wants the opposite of what everyone is doing. All the WeHo gays. Exactly. Exactly. They're getting the jaw in.

I know it's crazy. I saw someone get a botched jaw like filler and it was actually so sad because he did not need it at all. He looked so good before and then he got fillers in his jaw and right after I was like, oh, it looks good. But like the next day and like the next week after it was like,

giving like handsome Squidward. It was crazy. People are giving handsome Squidward in Los Angeles. Yes. And it's just not okay. It's like fucked up to think that like it's so easy to fall into that, especially if you just like have the time. That's why we need to go back to work. That's why with free time comes like, do I need to like literally like just be an air wand girl? Oh, I think I need to reshape my whole life. My new clean girl aesthetic is a cry for help. I've been like really on...

I've been on like a lot of like morning routine TikTok and it's really just a cry for help. It is so addicting. It's a cry.

Oh, oil pulling is when it's like... I'm like, you know what it is? It's like the more that I'm more I'm into my dental hygiene, the worse my brain is. And it's just been like I've been really just like following these girls. Well, we'll know when it's done when you actually commit to doing the teeth whitening. That's when we'll know we need to step in. I do need to commit to the teeth whitening. Oil pulling is when you swish around coconut oil in your mouth. The Jews tell me to, you know, tell the girlies what it is. They know what it is. I mean, I was gonna

I'm the 26-year-old who's like, oh my goodness gracious, there's things you can do for your teeth. And I'm like, that's great. I've just been putting all my energy into copying and buying products from TikTok influencers. It's so addicting to watch them get ready in the morning for some reason. There's no way they do that shit all the time. Even if I did the exact same thing at 5 a.m., it just isn't as ASMR as like...

Also, I always just think like they're putting that camera there and they're like... You know what I mean? Like the behind the scenes. I try not to think of it like... I try to think of it as just like natural and like... Like fun, but no. It's like there's no way you're doing that. There's a lot. I used to be dirty girl aesthetic when I was happier. And now it's just like... It literally is made to like make you feel ashamed about yourself and your routine. It's like so scary. I love...

I love observing different groups of people on TikTok and the Clean Girl one. I know. I will stalk through someone's shit and I'm like, there's no way you didn't film all of this in one day and just pile it up because there's no way you're doing this shit. Because I cannot keep up with anything, any resume...

Men like that? Like, I just can't do. No. Like, the max it is is, like, I put on my skincare so that I don't get any more acne. That is as far as I will go. And, like, a moisturizer. But I cannot do, like...

my hair correctly every day I can't like I can't do like it's all too much also I can barely fucking floss every day and flossing there's too many fucking teeth in our mouths like I don't need all these fucking teeth like I need some of them removed so I don't have to floss between every tooth because I just skip out some teeth like the teeth back there how the fuck am I supposed to get to that like I'll let those ones rot like it doesn't matter my dentist was like trying to get me to buy like little mini toothbrushes for the back of my teeth I'm like girl you really

I think I'm gonna sit there and do that. - This is too much. Yeah, I have stopped flossing in general because my teeth hurt when I floss. - Which is probably not good. - But you have gum disease. Yeah, you probably have like gum disease or something. - Yeah, but it's not my gums. It's like the teeth, they're too close together and it hurts. - You also just eat like, like you eat probably the most acidic diet of anybody I've ever known. - That is literally why we're together. I love acidic foods. What are your favorite acidic foods?

like tomato i i love like hot cheetos i love like hot cheetos takis and then oranges are like a class like sizzling oh that's what i'm saying like definitely mixing all those things is so bad like when i'm high the concoction of things i gather to my corner to eat when i am high is there's no way my stomach isn't like blowing the fuck up

Every morning. And I don't dilute. That is very clean girl aesthetic to have like a tea. He does it because he thinks it makes him high. He's like the little curtsy. Literally, I take a shot of it. I take a shot of it. It gets me like buzzed. Like I feel euphoric for like 15 minutes. And then I do it before I eat because I'm literally like pre-diabetic or something because like my body fails and I have to go to sleep after I eat. And this, for some reason, makes me not tired after I eat. It's crazy.

Also, I guess... Is that like a placebo effect or do you think it's for real? I hope it's... Actually, it doesn't really matter. Yeah. How about that? If it's working. It actually doesn't even matter. If it's working, it's working. Yeah, but that's my clean girl. Maybe also because you're on such a sobriety kick, your body has no idea what any kind of alcohol is like and like the minor percent of alcohol in that you're like... I did have a sip of... The mother and then...

Exactly. The mother is being awoken. Yeah. I did have a sip of both of y'all's margaritas. And it was delicious. I've been sober curious, mostly because I just like am THC. Like I'm a strand of THC. As you can hear from my voice. A THC molecule. I am a THC molecule as a human. Also like part nicotine. Yeah.

And, like, other part is, like, um, powderized pearl powder. Oh, yeah. Tell them about that. You know what it is? That's also what's so funny about, like, being an adult who does not treat my body correctly and then I put, like, shit like that on top of it as it's, as, if it's gonna undo that, all I do is, like, kill my brain cells at least six times a week with any sort of substance, whether it be, like, nicotine, alcohol, or weed, and then I just, like, sprinkle, like, an air wand, like, powder, and I'm like...

I do the unspeakable to my body every day. It's giving like, what's the point like to life if you're not having fun? I drink a Starbucks nitro cold brew every morning these days. It has been my addiction for six months. And it is actually battery acid. Like it is, I Googled it, it's like 30% more caffeine. I was running on like Celsius and cigarettes every day.

Like my entire movie I just did for two months, I was eating that and then like a boiled egg in the morning and like I was set. And also there was like a lot of hot dogs there. So the glizzies. Love hot dogs. A lot of glizzies. I'm a glizzy dog. I'm like,

some vegetables and like a juice but then I'm gonna go back to like smoking a thousand cigarettes and like Celsius I mean honestly that is balance like as long as you're getting like the equal amounts of good but I don't know if I get the equal amounts of good because I just get I get nothing yeah I get stuck on like one fixation food and then I will just eat it like

over consuming that's literally how i've been recently is i'll drink like a coke and then i'll before i finish the coke i have to finish my water and i do that with like sustenance in general where i'm like okay if i'm gonna eat mcdonald's like i also have to eat mcdonald's is so fucking good um i'll have to eat something healthy like kai came over it really is it is an underrated restaurant influencers who are eating mcdonald's all the time everybody

Like, oh, I make my overnight oats and that's all I eat. Like, bitch, fuck you. Suck my fucking balls. Overnight oats are disgusting. We know your Postmates is going off later that day. Well, the thing is, like, if I were to eat what these girls eat every day, like, at night, I would have to order, like, all of Taco Bell.

like exactly okay i need the red 40 i need like something when i was overseas i need processed food i i told you i had a red 40 like i needed it like i i felt like there was no like art in hungary they don't have like any like artificial like genetically modified anything there which is bullshit i think i'm just like from experience from like being you're like the taste of it like not being satiated for months and it was just like i came back and i was like thank god like

I know. I need the processed foods in my diet. Like, if I don't have them, it doesn't feel right. Like, the ketchup. It doesn't feel right. Yeah, the ketchup in Europe, like, I don't know why the fuck I'm saying this, but it's, like, neon red. It's catsup, baby. That's not real. Catsup. I feel like it's more natural. Catsup. Is that real? Is that just, like, a fucking, like, is that what you really call ketchup? Catsup? Catsup? I just call it ketchup. Let's talk about it. Oh, no cap. No. No cap.

Oh, actually, in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, I'm gonna... See, this is why I'm doing this. I'm gonna 5150 both of you after this episode. I actually do need it. I'm, like, really in my depression era, but it's kind of, like, fun. It's, like, a little comforting. No, sometimes it's necessary, especially, like, I feel like you were just overstimulated and, like, really in it for so long. Like, you need full decompression, and, like, your deprivation tank is your couch. Yeah, I literally woke up at 11 a.m. today. I, like...

let my dog out. I just looked around and was like, everything's pointless and this is comforting to notice. Yeah, it's nice, but then like it...

I always am like, oh, this is bad when like it starts to like bother me that I'm doing it. Does that make sense? Oh, every day. Every day. I for years of my life, I've been like, I need to change. I need to change. Everything has to change. And it's like I can look through my journals like every day. It's like I need to change. Something needs to change and nothing ever changes. And I'm kind of just like, you know, maybe it's just like radical acceptance to just accept that you will not change. Wow.

Wow. Beautiful. Holy shit. I mean, also, like, it is true because all the things that I think I need to change is because, like, bitches on TikTok live differently. And I'm like, damn, y'all really, like, the girls who go to the farmer's market every Sunday, it is a blessing in my life.

if I make it out one Sunday of the month. But their job is to go to the farmer's market and make a video about it. Exactly. So we all need to shift our work to being outside. We need to go outside. I feel like whenever I do anything for work, it's like I'm a different person. I'm like, yeah, I'm going to fucking do it. I'm going to work like 16 hours a day. I'm going to do it. I'm going to put everything into it. And then when I'm home, it's like I don't even have the motivation to walk around the block. And again, that's a lesbian red flag. Lesbians love to take a walk around the block. Oh, I...

I'm not kidding. It has been, like, every time I date, like, a woman or a queer person, it's like, why don't you ever want to take a walk around the block with me? I'm like, because I literally would rather die. Actually rather die. Also, like, why is that such a, like... That is...

maybe there's we need to do like an analyzation of like dad behavior and lesbian behavior it's the same because yeah it's the same oh I can make that I can make that at home that's dad behavior and I feel like that's a big lesbian thing is like I can make that for you like don't buy it I can make it for you I'm not lying to you like my Starbucks is like my most shameful red flag because you would think that I'm like I've been I'm a convicted felon for like drinking Starbucks with lesbians because they're addicted to like really cool like coffee shops and like black coffee with no sugar or milk and I'm like

Honestly, it's something I have to come out and say that I drink Starbucks. Do you ever fake it? Do you ever try to push yourself through a block? I fake it all the time. I love to fake for the first few weeks. You put the Starbucks in a different cup. I'm not kidding. I have it on FaceTime where I put it in a mug because I'm so embarrassed. That's so weird. It's like that guy on TikTok who shows how an alcoholic hides their alcohol. It's Barbie doing that with her coffee. It's like a pile of cups and it's just like the cold brew between all the cups. To me, it's like all the cups.

Honestly, my most rebellious act is to have a Starbucks in the morning as a gay person. And I'm not kidding. I'm like, everyone's like, there's so many good coffee shops. I'm like, I don't want that. I want my comfort, my 30% more caffeine battery acid with a little bit of cream in it. Dairy. Dairy. Also, there's something we said. A lot of these fancy ass fucking coffee shops are so gross. Like a lot of their coffee is fucking nasty. And then it's always different everywhere.

And I like a little bit of sweet. Don't like it too sweet. So it's like, it's just also me coming out and saying that I fucking like sugar in my coffee. Like, oh my God. That's a crime. That's what I'm saying right now. I like, I'm not ready to like give up Starbucks and like sitting on my couch. You're not ready to give up Starbucks and start walking around the block. I can't. Walking around the block is crazy. My dad made us do that every time we came home from a restaurant. He was like, let's go on a walk. And I'm like, bitch, I want to go and sleep. And he's like, we should go on a walk around the block. It's 11 p.m. I can't.

I love the walk around the block. The walk around the block is my worst nightmare. I literally get triggered when I hear it now. I'm just like, this is not okay. Because I like, literally, it's been so many people. And it's just like, you never want to do anything I want to do, which is walk around the block. And I'm like, yeah, then I won't do it. That's where I draw the fucking line. I don't care. I'm not walking around the block. I will go on a hike. I will go somewhere to walk. But I'm just, why would I walk around my house? It's just like I'm watching something. It's like I'm watching something. Comes in the room. Let's go for a walk around the block. I'm like,

I'm in the middle of something. I'm a selfish person. That's my other red flag. I'm selfish. I was going to say, I love hearing your red flags and we'll tell you ours, but give us one more good one. What's my other red flag? My other red flag... Starbucks anti-walk around the block. Anti-walk around the block casually. I think my other red flag is that I...

sleep off. I like, you should know Drew. Yeah. We spent the last few nights together. You love your sleep. No, not only just that, I have like the most chaotic sleeping. Like I like am like sideways on the bed, like kicking and thrashing. Thrashing, writhing around under the sheets. You're having night terrors. I have like a running away. She screams. I do. Oh my God. I don't scream, but I, I, I like cannot sleep. Like I, but I sleep for 12, 14 hours because I cannot sleep because I'm always just moving around. Oh.

So that's my other red flag. Yeah, I guess I wonder if like my intense like man snoring would be a red flag. I do snore. I've learned that I snore. My red flag is that I sleep in like I sleep like this. Yeah, he sleeps like a dead body. That's really good because I've learned that I sleep the worst sleep position that you can. How do you sleep? It's literally the worst position you can. It's like with a pillow like this, cranked neck, like literally like

45 degree angle. It is like, I'm like, I'm on my stomach. I can't breathe. My like leg is like not supported by anything. It's just like, I wake up every day with like shoulder pain. It's great. Yeah. I sleep on my side, like all crunched up and rolled into a little corner. And then every morning, like to unwrap myself, it's like,

like it's like unwrapping like a dead person's body every morning so that's maybe a red flag but i don't know like i haven't gotten any complaints about my snoring i've just been lucky that anybody who's sleeping next to me is usually a really heavy sleeper i don't have anybody in my life who's a light sleeper my red flag is that i banged everyone's mamas all the time oh that's not a red flag though especially kaya's mama oh especially

Well, because she was just easy. She was like an easy one. She was all over him the other day. Not anymore, though. He's changed. Yeah, I'm a reformed person. Barbie did have to fight your mom for Drew. I actually did. And she did win, so. Your mom's an op now. My red flag is definitely that I...

need attention at all times and if I'm not giving that attention I will get that attention elsewhere like I won't like I won't cheat but like if like you don't give me attention I will get the attention like so do not put me in a position where I have to go find that attention it's easy for you to get the attention so it's just gonna happen

If I'm posting a selfie, it's because I'm not getting enough attention. Oh, if you see me posting selfies, just know I'm single. Yeah. Literally, it's like clockwork. It's like, all right, time to talk about him. I need to

I need to post a single selfie right now because I am single and it's been a while and I have not posted many selfies. Yeah, that's funny because you're like, it's like auctioning yourself out. It's like, so? Yeah. Anyone have anything to say about this? I used to be like a really anxiously, like I need attention all the time kind of person and now I've turned, again, in my villain era, I have become the monster herself and I'm the person who's like detached and I'm like,

I don't know what happened. It's my villain arc. Something is wrong. Something's wrong with me. I feel like also at a certain point, it's just like, I'm cold. I'm a cold hearted bitch now. It happens all the time to every generation. Everybody just becomes cold and heartless. Yeah, everybody gets to the point where it's like too much. It's beautiful. It's like you... It'll flip soon. What's that like dark night quote or whatever where it's like, you live long enough to see your heroes. Oh yeah, become the villains. That is me on a t-shirt.

We need to edit you like with crazy film grain and like shadows over your face. It is me. Yeah, so that's my other red flag. I will get attention if I don't get it. Like if I don't get it, I will get it. Like don't even question it. Like you're done. Like don't play because the attention will get gone and the attention is needed to fuel my lifestyle. Yeah, because oh, Drew's been cheating on you with Kai, by the way. Yeah.

so you're you've been you've been sitting across the man who's literally hitting it from the back like every night oh you're talking yeah i'm sorry you had to find out like this drew i thought i was your top you are my top you're my real talk oh my god like that every day who's better and bad you what i think we knew that answer he did wink i did not i did not i did not i didn't roll it back

We need to talk about how hard it is to be the only straight person in the room. Like, it's just like in 2023, it's really hard. Like I go into a room, I feel alienated. Being gay is like too,

like it's too prevalent in society now I kind of want to be like sometimes I'm just like it's just too many of us that's what I was saying earlier the gay agenda it's a very real thing it's real it's fucking real and like I'm for sure accidentally promoting it all day it's literally same like all the time subconsciously you are promoting it I'm promoting it

But yeah, so that's my other. I can't think of other red flags because I genuinely am always like I'm a good person. Like I'm not a red flag, but I'm like I get like very snappy when I like don't want to be around anybody anymore. Like instead of being like instead of being being like I don't want to raise my voice sometimes. No, instead of like being like, oh, hey, like I don't want to hang out right now. I'll just like hang out and then be a fucking bitch for like three hours until the person is like, should we like not be chilling right now? And I'm like, yes, absolutely.

Drew, what about you? Or actually, I turn it on like, oh, so you don't want to be around me. I'm like just too, oh, I'm so awful, you don't want to be around me. I'm a sassy girl. I love being sassy. I think it keeps it spicy. Yeah. Someone needs to do it. Someone does need to do it. I'm the sassy one usually. Oh, I've said it once before. I think now it's probably more like 35,000 people have jacked off to me.

I just don't. Have you done like a poll? I haven't, but I publicly stated that I thought like at least 32,000 people have jerked off to me and everyone was like bodying me in the comments. Yeah, like there's not a chance. What do you think they're jerking off to like particularly? Do you think there's like one? The image of me, like the imagination. Like is there like a clip or like a photo that you think? I think it's just my personality. I just give personality. I hear his voice like erotica.

Maybe. But like you're leaning too much into the idea that people have that kind of imagination. And like, it's just like at this point, like, or maybe someone's deep faked you onto some action. No, I haven't been deep faked one. And I haven't gotten a cum tribute to, and I still haven't gotten a cum tribute, which is fucking insane. Oh no, we got a cum tribute when someone prints out a photo of you, comes on in and yeah. Okay. Yeah. I just had to like, need that. I need that. That's my red flag. One of my red flags is no cum tribute. Um,

The other one is just like a clean person. Like, I just like clean. I can see myself arguing in a relationship with Drew over like things being moved. Oh, I... He's like a big, like if you leave something in your spot and he doesn't like the spot, he'll make a new spot. My red flag is a mess. Okay, another. I'm a walking red flag. It's like actually just, it's dawned on me that I, yes, I have a juicy ass, but that is just not enough. Perf.

This isn't enough to carry over. See, the problem is like when I look at you in your lifestyle, I'm like, oh, you're perfect in my eyes. Thank you so much. But that's also like, then I'm like, I don't, I wouldn't see like the problems in dating you. But I think that's because we also get along so well. Like all three of us get along so well. Because I look at my friends all the time. I'm like, damn, what would make you bad in a relationship? Like it's kind of hard to tell until that person says those things. I date people who are like,

like a bit older than me and they have like their life like semi together like in a way that's like I have my life together in a lot of ways and then I have it like I like live like a frat bro sometimes like I'm smoking weed I'm drinking Celsius I'm like eating like Erewhon fake sugar snacks like for lunch and dinner which I did yesterday have you had the new sour ones those little like fucking no sugar ones that are so nasty and they like stick to your teeth yes they will knock it off my teeth I

like you know i think i'm like a catch all the time because i lie in the first few weeks i lie i should have lied like i do lie and then because i i have the problem where i play cool girl that's a big red flag i play cool girl where i'm like this doesn't bother me nothing bothers me it takes so much to bother me but really like i am actually losing my fucking mind and i'm like two seconds away from buying a gun and shooting all the tires of the person i'm talking to because i never want them to be able to leave their house again because they're pissing me off um but

But I will hold all that in and like hold it in. And then the smallest thing ever will annoy me. And I will really harp on that thing. And I'm like, you just shouldn't have done that. And it's like something really stupid. But I'm just pushing all this like other energy into it. But that's my big red flag is I play cool girl. Let someone run over me too much. And then I'm like, I freak the fuck out over something small. Because I'm like, I've let everything happen. That's normal. Like, I feel like cool girl. You know, I kind of play like absent dad.

a lot in my relationships. I really do. I'm like, yeah, yeah.

that's what I want in a relationship I need someone that that's and that's why we're so compatible yeah but no I need someone that like is gone and I see maybe once a month to have sex with and that's it I also want to be next to me but I don't want to talk to them I don't want to like do exactly exactly exactly I want you to be in my home but like I don't want to do what you like to do I feel like I'll like play the game of like doing what someone else wants to do for a while but then after all I'm like I don't want to do that like I I literally will like roll my eyes like ugh

And that's like really fun. Someone will be like, we should go do this. And I'm like, should we? Inya is so bad at like hiding her expression on her face. Like if she doesn't like something, you can tell immediately. And then you have to be like, are you sure you don't want to do that? And I will lie. I'll be like, yeah, I don't know. Exactly. I love that. I feel like I love an expressive face.

It's so bad though. I wish I was really good at lying. I'm not good at lying, but I'm good at not telling the truth. But the second someone asks me, like it's because I speak before I like think and then it'll come out and I'm like, ooh. I make up facts a lot. I believe them. Like Uber effects. You made Uber effects. I like totally will say something like with like, and then I'll, sometimes I'll take a second and be like, that was not true. Like.

I do that all the time. I'm literally like, I don't know why I said that because that's not true. Like, I don't know where that came from and I looked it up and it's not true. But in that moment, in that split second, I do believe it to be true. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah, I do repeat things falsely. Like, because I add words to everything I've ever heard in my life. You can't repeat a sentence to me and me not...

You can't say a sentence to me and not have me repeat it back with 8 million extra words. So if you tell me a fact, I will go and tell my friends that fact but multiplied by 800 because I'm just like, it needs to be the craziest thing they've ever heard. I love to explain things that I know nothing about.

like logically in my head and then be like no it's because of this and then i have no proof like no expertise i do that all the time like especially on here i like bring up something that i know nothing about that i just heard one thing about and someone tries to indulge in the conversation with me and i have nothing else to give because i'm not an expert but when i do lie which i love i tell like

truths that make me look bad I don't know if that makes sense like when I'm lying to someone like I don't really lie anymore but when I was younger when I would lie I would tell like the truth about something else and be able to lie about what I'm hiding right now sandwich yeah yeah I mean that's what all the killers do and like well I made up love wins so

you did actually yeah and you didn't copyright it I didn't yeah so you lost it you missed out on a lot of pride merch and I invented the perk 30 which sucks um that's my man I'm just saying like y'all haven't known each other that long so I don't think you should be dating yet that's exactly we've known each other for longer yeah we

you know i'd like facetime him basically high school sweethearts when i would go to new york basically like a real relationship if you're facetiming someone a lot you're dating i know if we if i am not having sex with you there's absolutely no fucking reason i ever need to be on facetime with you like why the fuck do people facetime my mom all the time and

That's weird. Yeah, that's fucking weird. I just said I FaceTime my mom all the time. I know, but we were just literally saying how it's... Oh, okay. Now I'm the bad guy. Bruh. Bruh. You're the bad guy.

I want to be like a villain couple. Oh, that is what y'all need to do. Oh, yeah. Y'all should. Okay, so you have to. That should be our Halloween costume. I was going to say, what is our Halloween costume? Harley Quinn and the Joker. We could do that. That is so rich. We could do that. We could be. I could be the skull Tate guy. What's his name?

Not Andrew Tate, the freak, but the... Go away, Tate! Go away, Tate! Should we have an Andrew Tate? Yeah. All of us. All of us being Andrew Tate. That's actually a genius. Yeah, that's actually advanced. I think y'all should go public with your pseudo relationship because I'm not... Don't put pseudo in front of me. I mean, it's not... I mean, it's, you know... Okay. Like, whatever. You could just, you know... I guess... You could...

Y'all can go public and then like, you know how like everybody gets in trouble publicly when they're in a relationship because they get caught cheating. Y'all should just cheat on each other. But then we go into a smoothie squad after. And then we like make it up. And then I become a squatter in your house. Oh, that's good. I mean, I don't think she was opening the door to that, but like. No, it's more like smoothies. I just thought I would throw it out there. Yeah, I mean, it's. I am homeless. Yeah, you don't live here. So that's why you're dating her?

That is to be fair. That was a lot of people. I was going to say. A lot of people do that shit. Again, New York coded. Yeah, that was very sneaky. Thank you. You just don't do it like proudly in front of the camera? No, it's embarrassing. Because everybody knows he hits that puff bar. So I don't know why he hides it. It's so embarrassing and disgusting and I hate it so much. But June 14th, my mother's birthday, I'm quitting. Mark my words. Genuinely this time. For real. We'll see. Wow. I mean, I'm terrified of quitting cigarettes because I feel like it's like the only...

like thing I look forward to. You need a vice. Like I genuinely believe. Why can't my vice be like

- True, true. Why can't it be like collecting-- - I call like preaching a vice, it's so funny. - I mean that's literally real though. - Why can't my vice be like making homemade like stocks and like freezing them in my fridge for a rainy day? - I saw this video-- - No, 'cause that's just not fun. - Yeah, true. - Some people derive a lot of purpose from that. - I saw this video of this preacher at church, like literally at church, she's the preacher and she goes,

There's 21 of you in this room right now. This is the prophecy. This is what the Lord is saying. You each have to give $1,000. We need $21,000. And there's 21 of you in here. And if you think it's you, it is. Oh, she was asking for $1,000 from each person? Yes, it's crazy. And I was like, oh, wow. I'm about to start doing that. I know. There's 21 of you. And that brings it back to scamming.

Exactly. The church is a scam. The biggest scam is that. Yeah. I feel like we're definitely running low on people who make things. People don't make anything anymore. People just make like songs. People make songs like on their iPhone. People make music. Less music. Too many people. More physical things. We need more furniture. Like why are people making like chairs and stuff? My dream in life is to imitate a furniture maker. I just, that's like literally my dream in life. Like a hobbyist.

for a Jamaica of 40 years old. We can find that. Or actually, I don't know if the 40-year-old aspect is going to come from the viewership of this, but there has to be, like, a sexy lesbian somewhere. I'm not really seeking, like, love from this podcast right now because I'm really full of it right now. Have we been recording? Yeah, we have been. Well, Barbie was just saying she's full of love from you. I was taking a piss. You didn't wash your hands. And did you say anything quietly to yourselves in case anyone was listening? Oh, yeah. I, like, shouted it like you said earlier. Yeah. I said, um...

If you're listening to me pee right now, you're a bitch. Exactly. Oh, you got him. That's a good one. That's a good one. Well, the thing is I do put a mic and a camera up there. Definitely.

but yeah but for myself just to see my own piss patterns and the shower just keep your shower in our house we just have cameras in there but it's literally just security camera yeah it's just for safety yeah um but yeah we need more people making things make like everybody wants to make music everybody wants to make art everybody wants to make things okay i was just saying my dream is to date a furniture maker i don't know what he's claiming he made i

I want to design the furniture because I'm not really a doer. I'm an ideas kind of guy. Yeah, so you design it and then they make it. Did you really make this? Yeah. Wait, it's so cute. Wait. I know I do make things. Maybe we should just have children. Yeah, we'll have tinkering creative children. How did you make this? Like, what's it made out of? 3D printer. That's a lot of technology. Yeah, I'm kind of a genius. That is like actually genius coded. Like, I don't know anything about a 3D machine. I know about it through like...

rumblings. I'm pretty impressive. I love it. I think Barbie was thinking more like things she can use because I don't think that's like... I actually do love a little chachki. A little trinket. A little trinket. But can you build a couch? Yes, hello. I'm sitting on it right now. I built this with my bare hands. Can you install marble countertops to any place? Absolutely not.

I think you could watch a YouTube video and do it. I could figure it out for sure, but I'm just not strong enough. People who do that kind of stuff, God bless. I think you are strong. You're putting it down, baby. You're putting it down. They're listening. They're listening. This is weird for me. You're putting it down. Yeah.

We have just been going at it. Banging. Banging. I mean, you can only do so much in three days. Pegging. Hello. Hello.

Pegging Role play Lots of role play Disney Bounding role play We're going to be Woody and Jesse And I guess I'll be the horse or something The horse Give us a good nay I'm not doing that I would love to hear a nay That was the craziest bullying I've ever experienced in my life Drew asking me to give a nay

And did you? No, I can't. That's just too much. It's too embarrassing. Maybe while we're there, if you guys get me in the mood. True. Nice. True. Why don't we just like try to squash this all together and I can just join. But I don't want to be around you. I'll just stick with Barbara. Polly? Yeah. And we kind of look like we could be like related a little bit. So that's like even more enticing. Generations. The sisters and then the guy who's just like kind of around.

I'm down for a poly vibe. Always have been, always will be. I'm open. Yeah, but I don't want open. If I'm going to join, it has to be like the thruffle and this is it. It'd be like, you know, sister wives style. Oh, sister wives could be good. You guys already have like a strong bond. You guys live together. Like, I'm just like kind of like the third. We'll just move into your place. Yeah, sure. We'll just move in there. I got a lot of animals. I'll take over Cowboy's space. I know. Cowboy's cute, but he's just, I have so many animals.

dude i love all of your critters they're all yeah they're all crawling everywhere yeah i said my bathroom like my cat just like unroll like a whole toilet paper roll undid all of it and it's just on the floor i'm sitting i'm sitting looking at it taking pictures i won't fix it i was taking pictures to send my friends but i'm not going to if there's no one witnessing me then i'll do nothing there's like if there's nothing no one coming over i will not do anything

That's how I am too. Yeah, I feel like I'm the same way. Literally before you came over, we picked up because we were like, this shit's fucking crazy. So we picked up to impress for you. I do that when you guys come over too. I'm like...

Yeah. Yeah. I just like, I feel like anytime someone's coming over, you have to just like kick certain things under certain things. And it's like, I'm not a dirty person, but I'm a mess. Like I just like throw things on the ground. Yeah. I wouldn't consider, I've never been in your home and felt like it was dirty. Yeah. Never. I don't think you're like as messy as you think, but everybody thinks they're messier. Different standard. Yeah. They want to walk on the block. They want everything clean, organized, you know, you know, so to,

To me, I'm like a failure. Like, I'm not drinking black coffee from, like, a local coffee shop. I am, you know, giving capitalist, like, pig drinking my Starbucks cold brew. You're getting your stars in. I am. Do you have the app? The reward point? I actually don't. Isn't that awful? That's crazy. But can I confess something? This is probably, like, the most, like, stupid, like, LA thing I do is I, like, postmates a single Starbucks almost every morning. Is that ridiculous? Yeah.

I actually can't say anything about that because I was in an era where I was postmating a coffee and avocado toast from Go Get Em Tiger every morning. Sometimes you just need it. I have a espresso machine and I just like cannot...

The past six months, I'm telling you, it's been six months of me literally just... I've been really into my American brands of fast food. I've been really into my Lana era of just being so normcore that I am going to have...

the starbucks in the morning i mean that's where we're going we're literally backtracking everybody wanted their life to be so fucking spectacular for like the tiktoks and the videos and all this shit and we're just realizing that's over consumption and we don't need that and what we need to do is give our body the process food it wants exactly no literally it's actually crazy though that we haven't spoken about lana once this entire podcast until just then when you brought up brazil i was almost like oh i really wanted to go to brazil because she was playing

First concert in four years. I know. When I was in Brazil, everyone's like, are you coming back for Lana's concert? I'm like, I fucking wish. I would have... I was watching it and there was a big zoom in of these fans just crying. I was like, me. Every time I was like, me. I know. Imagine having that kind of footage of yourself. I don't know if I need that footage of myself. It's crazy how much bigger she's gotten even in the last year. She was huge. Don't get me wrong. She was like...

she evolved star but like she's having her moment right now she contains multitudes as she tweeted one she really does she like really every era is different i think we can end it because we literally have so much there was a period where the camera died for 15 minutes um sorry um kai just like obviously isn't doing his fucking job like why yeah he's on that damn phone there's a lot going on but he's on his phone at work right now

Kai's drunken on his phone at work right now. He's always drunken on his phone. And it's like 2 p.m. Oh, 3 p.m. now? Yeah. Yeah, you're done. It's fine now.

Yeah, when you're 30, it's like... Yeah, I guess once we get there, we'll know. But we're just so far from that. We're just so young and fragile and petite. We're so petite. Oh, my God. I'm like a little girl. You know what I mean? I have no idea. I have no idea what's happening. We do have a tradition, which I'm sure you know of. On every episode, we pick some media from the week that we enjoyed or listened to. Music, TV, movie, whatever it's giving. So if you want to...

Say some. You can. Say some. I'll start. Go ahead. Go ahead. Placebo Syndrome by Parliament. I heard this in Escuela when we were there and I had to go ask the girl for the song. You should say I'm done. Yep. Things in Life by Dennis Brown. Blue Moon by Elvis Presley. Those two songs are in a movie that I watched like two years ago and I cannot remember the movie but it's like a

about people riding a train and there's like a leather jacket that's really iconic in it but i that's all i can remember about riding a train is it like a couple yeah is it the before with like within hawk it might be it might be is it before movies before sunset whatever they're called it might actually be like sunrise sunset i think it might be yeah but the french girl i don't see a leather jacket in it

I don't know. Sorry, I just got confused because my mom does not speak English, but she said, okay, it was just to greet you. That was her reply to me. She beat you at the door, of course. I said, because she called me, I said, one second, I'm working. And then in English back. I didn't send my message in English. It was in Spanish. And she goes, okay, it was just to greet you.

So she's being kidnapped. The killer is texting me from my mom's phone right now. Do you have like a little word that if anything happens? Have you seen those like fake like calls where it comes from like a contact of yours? Yes. I have your sister.

I would fall for that. That's a scream I would fall for. Yeah, I would fully fall for it. Once you say my family's in danger, I'm like, I knew they would get kidnapped. I'm literally going to do that to you. Yeah, we do. I did a prank call. I'm not very good at it, but I love to observe. Oh, wait, I forgot about that. We have to do some prank calling. That was our first bonding moment. Yeah, we prank called some...

incredible people. Yeah, we'll get into that this week. Yeah, literally. Dude, I know, it's such a bad habit. We use like all of our friends, like that's the only thing we use like our like famous friends for is for prank calling. Like, I don't think me and Drew are people who will like get on a platform and be like, so I'm friends with so-and-so. But what we will do is corner you or anybody else who has contacts with like, like,

these people never answer their fucking phone. It's bullshit. I know, it's really annoying. I'm like, grow up. It's like once you start getting down the tier list, then they start answering. That's the people who will answer. that's like almost even better. It's so real. It's almost even better. I like it when it's just like a person, you know, that's grinding. Doing,

Someone who's still doing it. Mildly known. I forgot who it was, but it was a girl and I called her and I was like, I'm driving around your neighborhood and there was a baby on your roof. I do remember that. Yes, literally. And I was like, oh, there's like a baby crawling around your roof. And then did she call back? No, no, no. You just got her on the phone for so long. She was like, what?

- Yeah, that's what it was. - Like, 'cause it was so confusing. But we gotta get back together and do prank calls and maybe let's just call like random places. - Yeah. - I think we should, they'll answer. - 'Cause that's the best. That's the best is to call Taco Bell and say someone is stuck in the bell. - I love, we have Drake. - Yes. - It like really is like. - Oh, I'll just say that one. - We have Aubrey Graham.

like me and Drew love calling Zach B and telling him we have Drake. We'll be like, we have Aubrey Graham. Give us a thousand dollars. And each time it has been linked back to us. So I think at this point, like he doesn't answer and then we leave the voicemail. We almost get no reply at this point. Like it's just like, it's like, oh, it's like my monthly. We have part of the bit. Like,

I know, play. Where's all the fun and laughter? Let it go. Just have some fun. Yeah. Let go of the ego, you know? That's what I've always been saying. That's why we're different. Like, our ego is dead, you know? Like, we're just like, we're real people. I did a bunch of hallucinogens when I was 16. And the ego death was real. Yeah, very real. Okay. Well, do you want to do your media? Yeah, I'm not going to say music because my music taste is like fucking awful repetitive. But I've been watching a lot of TV. So I'll say this.

I've been watching the other two. Fantastic. The new season's so fun. I watched the first episode because you said to watch it. I think it's so funny. Obviously, it can... Yeah, it's great. I think everyone's just really good at it. I watched Succession last night. Are you guys into Succession? I have been letting the season collect so I can binge it all in two days. Is it over? It's not a thing that... When I first started watching Succession, I accidentally started watching a different episode of a different season I didn't know because that's how hard it is to follow, but it's so good. Yeah.

What else have I been watching? Is the newest season over? Yeah, the whole show is done. Yesterday was the finale. Heartbreaking. Okay, so I get to re-watch the whole season. What else did I watch? Um...

Well, this is in New Orleans. I was doing a horror movie, so I just almost specifically watched SpongeBob. And I watched Hotel Transylvania 1, 2, and 3. Oh, they're good. And eat. I've been really not into narratives right now. I'm really into lobotomy shows and movies. So Hotel Transylvania for sure. 1 and 3. 2 is kind of whatever. Yeah.

What else? You about Transylvania, you're like, yeah, I like Transylvania, like, two is like, whatever, one and three is like, a masterpiece. Um,

What else? Yeah, that and SpongeBob. I really do recommend a rewatch of every single SpongeBob episode. Yeah, I need to tap in because every time I go to watch it, I start at the new season and I just don't want to watch new episodes. I'm like, no. Start like season two and work your way up and out. It's really good. I really needed something that made me think nothing and it's perfect. Okay, I need to tap back into that. Because yeah, I've just been watching. I've been back on my murder documentary shit and I'm like, okay, I need to mix it up because this is all I watch and now I'm getting...

back to thinking that everybody is the killer and i can't keep calling people the killer the killer is like here williams i mean the killer's in this room right now i mean yeah right he's been here the whole time um mine is it's you kai come on like the keep those teardrops from falling by natalie bergman which is like all i do on this podcast is complain about people who make new music that sounds old but that song got me i thought it was an old song but now when i listen to it the

ending of it is so obviously a new song trying to be old but it still gets away with it because it was a really good song um but then all my other stuff is like repetition i've been thinking of listening to the album all things must pass by george harrison which i know is a beetle and like that's the worst thing to happen to me but i already said that and i'll like yeah yeah

like yeah like i sure yeah don't put her in a position that i've already put myself in listen the beatles is a band period and i was like in choir like as a kid it's like always saying and like i went to i was like kind of forced to go to this like broadway like beatles rendition like

show and whoa so i can say like i'm a little bit of an expert yeah so you've got you've got your stars so yeah i think that's all you need i wouldn't say i listen to them like on like but also the music i listen to is like actually just like noises give me one one one shitty song you listen to i'm so curious and then the last one is winter is blue i think they're shitty but um

You don't have to. You don't have to. I'm actually just looking at like what I like. It's literally like so predictable. I love like hyper pop. Like I'm not going to lie. Oh, yeah. I'm a big hyper pop guy. I'm a big into hyper pop. What do you listen to? Hyper pop. I'm like giving old head. I'm like, I wonder what the kids listen to these days. I don't know.

I mean, just like the classics, like Hannah Diamond. Love Hannah Diamond. Damn, Hannah Diamond is such a throwback. That's so crazy. And, I mean, Sophie, of course. We love Sophie. Rest in peace. I do love Sophie. AG Cook. Like all of them. AG Cook, yeah. Is AG Cook the one that like makes all of it? He's like the producer. Yeah. I love AG Cook. Charlie Lott. Yeah. Charlie is the girl. As we know, the goat. But, yeah. Well.

Thank you so much for being on. I can't believe I'm the only first guest. Yeah. And maybe the only guest ever. Okay. I, wow. Well, I just like to thank everyone for listening. You're so special to us. You're special to me. And now we get to go have a little snack because I think I'm finished. The way I just held your hand was so out of control.

It's out of control. It's like... Help. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being on, actually. Thank you for having me. Also, I just, like, usually we just say bye and we're like, all right, that's it, bye. But now we have a guest, I'm like, there should be some music. We'll just fade in music and we'll just, like, keep talking and, like, let us fade out. You know that? Wait, hold on. Oh, my God, that was amazing. That was good. That was good.