Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.
if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, smile more.
And yet that was the worst sound I've ever heard. You know what's crazy is I like made sure that my voice was low enough because every time I scream on Zoom episodes, it like blocks me out. So I just hit a new octave. Like I just unlocked a new sound humans can make by doing that. Yeah, that was really crazy.
what's up girl it's been a couple days since we've seen each other i know it's so awkward it's like we're meeting for the first time i'm nervous you look good should we go on a date thank you you don't yeah oh okay um well uh i think i'm gonna wait let's just cosplay the the date okay um okay well what'd you get up to today i fingered myself oh okay um
I think I'm going to get a drink. What drink are you going to get? Like four shots. Oh, I'd be down for shots after we eat. Maybe like if things go better, you're going to eat food. You need more food. I haven't eaten all day. I've been like, you can get like a little house salad or something, but I'm not paying for that.
Okay, I didn't ask for you to pay for my food. I like can pay for my own food. Well, you seem like you would know a lot about not loving yourself and nourishing yourself. So this is the worst date I've ever been on. I don't think it's my fault. I think it's your fault. Like, I think you're very weird. And I plan on going home and not only saying what restaurant I went to tagging my location and making sure I give a good enough description that people could find out who you are and you're done.
So are we going to do S or not? No, I don't plan on hooking up with you. I don't know why you, I don't know at what point you thought. Rude. Loser. And seen. Seen. And that's me for all the people who think me and Drew should actually date. That's what it would go like. That's what every single one of my dates look like. Every one of them. Were you playing someone else or yourself? No, I was. That's how I act on dates.
Oh, I didn't know that. We should probably have a conversation about that. That's Riz, bro. That's Riz. You said, holy shit, Drew. Like, yeah, I'm surprised you don't have a baddie in bed every week with that Riz. No, if I found out you actually ever acted like that on a date, I'd be so pissed. I'd be like, bro, are you serious? I'd have to talk to him. Not only did I have to teach him how to wipe his ass, but now I have to teach him how to date. How to be a normal person on dates also so that I don't get, like...
because somehow that would be my fault if it became public knowledge that you acted like that they'd be like i can't believe anya lets him do that like i could see it being my fault whoa something every time we are on a zoom call like episode no matter what you will be looking at yourself and seeing what face you can make it's just i hate my body like y'all ever do this like hold on let me pull these back wait i look cute like this hold on i look cute oh fuck y'all ever just like
pull the sides of your face up and be like, oh, that's good. Like, I'll ever go like, that's good. Like, not like, that's what I should look like. I need to get plastic surgery to look like that. Not much changes for me because I'm pretty perfect. But that's because you have like, literally the most perfect face shape ever. Thank you. You do look really pretty today. Every time I get on zoom. I'm like, wow, and he's beautiful.
You only look pretty over phone calls. Yeah, I don't look pretty in person. In person, I'm really jarring and scary to look at. I actually genuinely think the opposite. Like, I see myself in videos a lot of times. I'm like, y'all, please. That's not what I look like. Like, I look better in person, I swear. Even though I've literally never seen myself
But I don't believe cameras show who you really are. Yeah, like that's something I wanted to talk about today. I saw someone made a video talking about mirrors and like, duh, everybody knows like mirrors are inverted. So like you haven't like actually seen yourself unless you like use the inverted filter on TikTok or like whatever. And I feel like even that is like...
Exactly. Exactly. But like the real tea that no one's talking about is like mirrors are fucking scary. Like they're actually demonic and witchcraft. Like I'm not even kidding. They're like purely magical. Like I understand it's a piece of glass with like this coating on it so you can see a reflection. But like what the hell was that?
What was that? I'm back on the wagon, y'all. I got a new buff bar. What is that? It's a flute, actually. It's a harmonica. Oh, okay, okay. Dude, that matches your baba, your hamster water bottle so well. Do you have the hamster bottle with you? Gender reveal. Literally, those two are like a match made in heaven. I'm going to do the GQ 10 essentials. I'm like, first I need my binky, then I need my baba. Your baba and binky.
but no mirrors are evil demonic witchcraft like I genuinely believe that because like really you're gonna tell me that's like another thing like the creators that be like okay there's a few things I need to talk about and I'll like kind of list them off and then we can like react to them together okay the simulation creators the powers that be have been way too close to the fucking sun right
Dollar tree? You think you just fell out of a coconut tree? You think this is in the context of all in which you live and what came before you. Here he is. That's you right now. Of all that you have been. Of all in which you have lived and what came before you. That was Kamala Harris, by the way, for the record.
I love I literally love Kamala Harris cringe compilations those are a great video to deep dive on and Kamala Harris iconic pop culture moments I think she has definitely been microdosing every day of her life since the moment she became vice president she's been microdosing adrenochrome and baby stem cells and she needs to give some to Joe literally Joe here's your little stem cell you want some stem cells um
Well, what I was saying is that the simulation creators have been flying too close to the sun recently. And you know what tipped me off that they're like trying a little like too hard to like, like, make the future happen. And I'm like, babe, just let it happen naturally. Like it will you don't have to force it.
bitch Neuralink is like I know I talk about it all the time but the more I think about it that shit is fake as dust and I'm not buying it and the simulation creators tried some new shit with me and it's just not happening I'm not letting it happen it was working for a second though they got you I know they had me ring like they had me in for a second but then I thought about it it is like
No, like it freaks me out. It freaks me out. It's like 32 different connections. It's like they plug it into your brain and then all of a sudden you're allowed to play like Civ 6 when you're paralyzed. Like, no, like I'm not, I'm literally not buying that. You're not selling that to me. Like,
I'm not buying that. Like, put it in my brain and I'll tell you if it works for real, for real. Yeah, so what you're saying is you are the only reliable source for Neuralink and that's why they need to give it to you. No, deadass. Like, I'm a narcissist. Like, I won't believe it works until it happens to me. Like... I think, like,
not that I don't believe that it can do something. I just don't, when something is useless to me, I just don't think it should exist. Like that provides no knowledge for me. It does not like expand my mind. I don't feel like I'm seeing the universe from a new fucking selective narrative or anything. It does nothing for me. And I actually, I still don't know what the neuro link is for. Like, I know it could be used to help like,
brain chemistry and shit right now it's to control computers basically like you like can if you can't use a mouse and eye tracking is doesn't work for a long time because you have to sit completely still and like look around and like you can't like move around they put this chip in your brain so you can control a mouse so you can live a more normal life also he was playing a
um the neural link create or the neural first neural link patient was playing mario kart within like two days of it and he was controlling it all with his fucking mind like all the buttons like the go the stop the reverse the throw the green shell he threw a green shell a green shell at another car and aimed it and threw it perfect timing like yeah fucking right no i'm not buying it y'all aren't getting me for
the first time i like do believe that but only because that study that i saw and i need to stop getting my sources from tiktok because this shit could be fucking bullshit and not real but i'm not gonna look it up because i actually can't give a fuck about science sorry everything science had to teach me it's taught me already i'm good i like magic and wonder and i don't want to know why things happen and why things work but your ph balance and your bajini is a little off you need science for that
you need Jesus for that you need Jesus for that odor um no my the wonders of my body and the calcified water of New York City will heal me I thought you would say the calcified fetus that's been in your gut for the last seven years that turns floating around in my gut have you seen that no bruh wait is it the older lady yeah
yes a grandma fucking fetus inside of her uterus for like 70 years and it just turned a fucking stone in her and she like went in for like a routine checkup and it fucking was just in her gut i wasn't telling you that i was telling the rest of the people that didn't know but what the fuck were you saying body is t miss body is t um
oh because of that thing that they had like the fetuses and like baby brains they were building in a fucking lab like how humans are just obsessed with cloning and we need to get the fuck over ourselves because also humans are not that great like we don't need more of them we're good whatever we don't need to make them in a lab like bitch i don't need to instacart a baby anytime soon like we don't need but what if they can change the code to make them superhumans
I would be so fucking annoyed. Are you kidding me? My baby came out like extremely smart and I was just like kind of
Like useless. But no, literally babies came out perfect. Every other human living would be obsolete and they would probably fucking kill us. And I don't, I think babies are meant to be stupid at birth. I don't want a fucking super baby. I don't want a baby who could decide to sing one day and just like change its fucking like lung placement or whatever the fuck makes humans sing normally, which that's another thing that confuses the fuck out of me is it's crazy. You can't teach yourself to sing. Look at James Charles, all those singing classes. No, you can't do it. Look at me. I did.
I taught myself how to sing. Let's hear a song. Wait, hold on. Give me... What is that? That's doing something to the mic that there's voices in your singing. There's voices. The fucking voices. No, no, no. What's the Roy Orbison song? I'm crying. Crying.
We actually need to sign you up for American Idol. I'd be so happy if I got on. Golden ticket. Actually, you know what? Take the million dollars. I wonder if you could...
somehow get past maybe we could find a song because I feel like the biggest flaw with American Idol and things like that is I genuinely do believe there is a song for everyone that everyone can sing at least one song well yeah mine's a Beyonce Dubai rift yeah that's yours um
Yours is the ABCs. No, mine is unfair because I'm a really good singer. So it's just like... You have a few. I actually did Hello, It's Me by Todd Rundgren at karaoke the other night. Talk about a vibe killer. Damn. No one was happy. They did not fuck with it. We need to insert the Bjork video, right? Oh, you do sound good. I guess it would make sense. I got the Bjork. Which song was it? I threw my things off the mountainside.
what is that sensuality no that's not it it was um sometimes i look over the mountainside and throw little things off and close my if my if i hit the ground will my eyes be closed or open those are the lyrics but i don't know what fucking song that is i'm looking it up close my eyes will be closed or open oh hyper ballad yes hyper ballad that's my shit that's my one song i can sing
On a mountain On a mountain So tall There's a beautiful view Yeah, that would make sense that the only one you can do is like a scary little voice. Close to the pin It's not reading well over. Before you wake up
That song is about me and you and you, by the way.
Oh, but I did about us or. No, I think it just pertains to our life mainly. But every morning before I wake up, I think about offing myself every morning. And while you're asleep or no, no, sorry. Every morning while you're asleep, when I'm awake, I'm thinking about offing myself. And then I go through all that before you wake up so I can be a happier, better version of myself for you. Probably get help. Yeah. Yeah, I honestly should.
Yeah. I'm not going to be there for you though. Cause that sounds like a lot for me. So am I getting actor right now? No. What did you, what do you think you're doing? Someone's in the door.
what i'm having one of those days where i don't like want to do anything but use my phone like some mornings my phone just calls to me and it's like we need to work together like you've been off of it too long like my screen time was like actually i want to see my screen time was really low the past few days because i'm in new york and i'm seeing my friends i'm doing all that stuff and working are you twerking at all oh you don't want to know
kind of shit one of the things that i know oh you know the kind of things that i know oh yeah my average screen time since i've been here is like four to five hours
which is gorgeous because a lot of that also is like me looking at fucking google maps and like trying to figure out where i'm gonna get hojicha because i'm addicted to hojicha lattes right now that is such a weird thing i blame it on rain because if y'all don't know who rain is she's a fucking freakily gorgeous model but she's obsessed with teas and shit and making little concoctions and
And I had one and you know what it is. I had the thing where I have a drink and then I have like the best day ever mentally. And when I got to New York, I went to the, the like toast, the cute toast spot, which you still haven't been to, which is kind of insane. But I had a hojicha there and then I continued to have the best day ever. So now I need it every day because that's how I took my brain into having hojicha.
a good time that makes like oh you're tasting this remember how good you felt when you tasted psychologically makes a lot of freaking sense um but yeah i'm just having one of those days where i woke up and i was like i need my phone like i need to be with my phone i've been just kind of like distant and not giving my phone the attention and love it deserves i was about to say i'm like the complete opposite i'm smothering my phone and she's like actually pissed at me
she turned off my favorite thing is when Drew's phone dies he just uses it as a like notion from the universe to take a nap because he's too lazy to get up and charge it like you literally just turn over and go to sleep and then I wake up and I'm like why is my phone dead why is my phone dead what the fuck should I get into some notes that I have sure also Kai's not dead he's here somewhere
in the zoom universe all right can i join can i join if you have a hand over your face yes sorry i didn't hear you oh my god cover that fucking mug bitch oh my bad i don't even know wait you just asked to join you turned on your own camera no one turned it on for you okay how do i do this let's see um okay i fixed it can you hear me though
ah there's a voice fucking voice voice fucking voices he's bad hey kai is phasing in and out of existence um we're working bro what do you mean i know we're doing the fucking podcast like hello sorry i just want to tap in we don't talk to you for fun this is work like don't play come on i'm just chilling what's um drew you look
You look good. No, I look puggy and you can say that. No, you look good. I swear to God, I keep looking at you. I didn't do that. Dude, for Drew's birthday, when I was looking through all the photos, I realized almost all of my photos of Drew that I have on my phone are him doing that fucking smile. Oh my God, I'm so fucking ugly, y'all. I'm literally... You can't make yourself look ugly and then be like, oh, fuck! No, no, no, just even outside of that, like...
Like this? I'm not going to shower you in compliments because you do this thing where you like search for compliments by calling yourself ugly. And then when somebody gives you the compliment you're looking for, you just go, I know, I know, I know. Bitch, I know. Oh, no, I'm balding. Like I'm actually balding. I'm about to like join the finasteride. No, I'm not kidding. I'm like balding right here. Like my hair is thinning. If a girl takes finasteride, will they like implode?
I think your ovaries fall out. Yeah. That's not too bad, though. Honestly, your P words, it's like not bad. Wait, what? Oh, yeah. Periods? Why can't you just say P? Oh, my God, bro. You're not even hiding. I can still see you.
Wait, did we talk about when me and Drew saw Dune and he kept screaming Dune Pilled whenever it was quiet? And then no, really what happened is you screamed while it was silent. It was dead silent. We were at the TLC Chinese Theater, biggest screen, loudest theater ever. It was beautiful. But every moment of silent was extra silent.
Zendaya and Timothy just got finished doing S on the screen. And Kai out loud was like, Zendaya's riding Timothy's worm. Big worm. Yeah. And then Moadib. Huge laugh. Huge laugh. No. There was a big laugh.
No, there wasn't a single laugh. 20 to 50 people around us. Kai rewriting history right now. He's like, and then the theater erupted in laughter and everybody stood up and carried me and sent me down to the front, like carried you, what's it called? Crowdsurfed you down to the front where people stand for like Q&As and they hit.
gave you a mic and put a spotlight on you and you're like dude I don't know the joke just came naturally like I was so happy that you guys enjoyed that like I plan on publishing it did have that as a note for a couple episodes ago but I forgot to talk about it so thank you for bringing it up but yeah Kai and I were dune pilled this fuck dune-iverse that's something I've been working on I've been shopping it around and every time someone's heard me say dune-iverse they were like gag like that's actually sick like
so if you want to use it i give you permission yeah i'm going to probably put it on a t-shirt and like throw that on redbubble make a couple hundred thou make a couple bands i'm out lonely um okay so our toilets
It's clogged boots as fuck. It was clogged. You are clogging the fuck out of the toilets at the crib because Drew doesn't shit for like three weeks at a time. And then when he does, he unleashes the fucking Kraken from his asshole and blows up the toilet and destroys it. And then our landlord always has something to say about it.
Yeah, so it was clogged boots and I called our landlord because I was going to have a plumber come on my own dime because I was like, this is probably my fault. I am probably going to end up paying for it. And I don't want to go through landlord because it always takes too long. So I scheduled one and then I called them and I was like, it's an older home. And then I got really anxious and that he was going to destroy the pipes because it is an old fucking home. So I called the stain company.
So I called Minky our landlord. We have to explain that because like the way we always talk about our landlord not saying our name right but her name is Mickey and we have gone from like
mickey to mick to mink to mink stain because there was a time where we didn't fuck with her because she would just come into our house you would just like come inside and be like hello hello arm yeah and like yell for us we were like bro the mink stain is literally fucking coming into our house yeah but now one of her nicknames is the stain which i like it and i love her i love her
I love her. I just need that to be known. But anyways, I was on the phone with her talking about, and it was like six people in the car.
And I was on the phone and I had her on speaker and I was like, yeah, our toilets clogged. Like I thought that was going to be the end of the conversation. No, I mean, six different times. She was like, is someone constipated? Like, are you constipated, Philip? Like if someone is Josh constipated, are you constipated? Like, are you making big poop? And my landlord just kept talking to me about like my bowel movements. And I was just like,
No. And then she got into this like funny, flirty conversation with me where she was like, Philip, you're so funny and real. Like you like you're just like just authentic. And that's why I like you. That's literally why I like you. And she's like kind of flirty with me. And I just was like, yeah, like I am real. Like, I know, you know that. And then she like we were playing around because I always send rent like a week late because I forget. And I was just like, text me, Mink, like just text me.
Like, if you really want the rent, text me. And she texted me on the first. She remembered. Yeah, that's why you like her because she flirts with you. Yeah, that's true. Because she's like... We only like her as a landlord because she's like an older lady and we've now known her for almost six years. So she's like sweet in my eyes. But she is like classic landlord. I got a light fixture changed or I tried to get a light fixture in our house changed. And...
the wiring was so fucking old and untouched that it was a fire hazard and the guy who was doing it was like oh i don't think i should touch this anymore because it's a miracle your house hasn't burst on fire every time you've turned this light on because all of the wiring was like old enough that it's like cotton covered and it's like all burnt all of the wiring was like burnt to a crisp oh bitch our ceiling is leaking again it's leaking and it leaked all over my naguchi fucking lamp all
all over my fucking Noguchi lamp. I'm pissed. I'm pissed. But yeah, this house is fucking falling apart. And then she had the audacity to come to the house. She got on my ass and she was like, why would you get a random electrician to do this? Why wouldn't you tell me? And I was like,
because this is a normal thing people do like I was going to replace it back what and then she was like okay I can fix it it's just going to cost you $800 and I'm gonna have to break through all the walls and destroy the kitchen and I was just like why is this costing me money I don't own this apartment the fuck so she is
Classic landlord scammer, but we love her and Drew likes her because she flirts with Drew. Yeah, that's my girl. But anyways, so the toilet was clogged and then at the same time, the sink and the tub clogged because me and Nia have long, voluptuous, thick hair that's falling out and we're balding.
and so it clogs all the drains and someone's shaving in the sink and yet it is not me i shave my face over the floor and vacuum it later i don't know who is shaving in the sink but someone is clogging the fucking sink it's probably josie he has to wake up and shave his beard every day so that the so that the bold glamour filter stays looking good on him yeah literally um but uh
I decided to take things in my own hands because, babes, I'm a man. I can do things. I'm a strong boy. Well, what did you do? I grabbed some Drano, some lye, and I poured it in the sink, and I poured a bunch in there. And as I was pouring it, the lye...
Splashed all over my hands. It said wear gloves where I protection wear respirator bitch. I'm not doing all that shit I just grabbed the plastic bag held it around it and poured it but I was pouring it and it was squirting out weird and it sprayed into the sink bowl and splashed back all Over my fucking hand. Um, I freaked out immediately freaked out. I was like my hand is gonna melt off so I dropped the lie and
um and i ran to the sink in the kitchen and washed it off it was literally like our like within five seconds it was already burning my skin like it like josh was there he could attest i had like red patches all over the back of my hand it's healed now but then i remembered that's what they used to melt that body and breaking bad so i was literally
decomposing my skin and rotting my flesh off like burning literally burning my flesh off in that scene where he like tortures him what you cut out do you only make soap and fight club oh yeah yeah yeah the same shit yeah the same shit bro i've never seen fight club and i never plan on seeing fight club that's a movie i started when i was 15 and i was like snooze fest i'm turning this off bro you don't like fight club what about wolf of wall street i haven't seen that either
Do you like Wolf of Wall Street? I haven't seen that movie. That's another movie I actually saw the first five seconds of. Oh, Greg Gatsby is cunt. And American Psycho. American Psycho. I feel like I've been taking a lot of cold showers. Why? It's good. Your testosterone, I can tell your testosterone is really high. Your aura is crazy.
I need eyebrow. I need thicker eyebrows. I need somebody to make a compilation of every time we've been on a Zoom episode and how often Drew talks about his appearance and like the surgeries he needs. I need eyebrow. I need Botox in my master muscles. I really think that would fix everything. I just have a very strong jaw, masculine jaw. I need to cut out sugar for 30 days to de-puff my face and I'd be good. I'd be look-alike's goat.
I've been telling you this. Wait, what? You need to do nofap. Oh, no. There's no way that changes the way you look. It does. You should have seen me before nofap. Kai was 8,000 pounds and covered in boils. Yeah, before my three-day streak. Wait, have you started yet? Because I'm confused because that sounds like just like a description of you right now. No cooming for three days. Kai, I don't think you understood what Inyo just said. What? What did she say?
I said, have you started that journey? Or is Drew giving the current description of you now? Because that's what it sounds like. Oh, no. I'm like three days into my journey. So, no. Okay, I'm going to tell you what we're going to do for both of you to improve your looks. Okay. We're going to get both of you
a full frontal lace 22 inch wig i'm thinking platinum blonde for the both of you period um you both need a little or kai needs a lip flip drew needs a lip filler and a lip flip um i guess we can get you guys some eyebrow threads i do not need lip filler babe
Dude, you with lip filler would be fucking disgusting. Also, all I can think about is how badly I wanted lip filler when I moved to LA. It's like a rite of passage almost. You guys think it would look good if I got my hairline lowered?
You would look fucking disgusting. You'd be so scary. An inch above. That would look good. Yeah. Period. I melted off my skin with lye and it was really scary. Should I talk about how the narrative around contemporary art has been freaking me out? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
um this idea that modern art is bad or contemporary art is bad because it doesn't look good or doesn't look realistic or doesn't fucking have all the details in the world oh it looks like my kid could do it bitch then have your fucking kid do it that's not the fucking point it's the the real point the real tea of it all is that um
We've already gone through... We have fucking cameras, bruh. The reason art was good and realistic to you was because they were fucking painting reality. They weren't... They were literally just documenting history and that's the real tea. But now we have fucking cameras and phones to take pictures so we don't really need to do that. So people got bored and wised up. Bitch, look at that art and paint your own fucking story in your mind challenge. Really challenge yourself, babe. Because not everything has to fucking...
Y'all, I watched this art documentary and it was driving me fucking insane. The comments were driving me fucking insane. Like you weren't agreeing with it? The documentary was really egotistical and evil and it was about this art collector. And I actually was texting Kai while I was watching it. But literally...
Art dealers are the most horrifying, scary-looking creatures. And I use that word heavily. They're scary. I don't think they're real. I think they're literally demons and evil. And, like, Kai even can attest, like, they have no souls. Like, their eyes are lifeless. But...
Yeah, it was just like looking at the comments and people are like, oh, there are bad because there it's three colors on a canvas there. And I'm like, babe, like he gets to paint three colors because he painted realistically for 25 years. I whatever, whatever. You don't got to like it. You don't got to like shit, but at least be educated on your argument.
Well, I just like to go to the museum and if it has nothing to do with me, I don't fucking like it. Like if it's not about like being a girl and being fun, I don't fucking like it. I literally hate realism paintings. They piss me off. If it's not 1800 years old, if it's some new shit and I see a realistically painted iPhone.
bitch why don't you just take a fucking picture of that with the iphone because now you're pissing me off like it i agree with you so much it's so annoying i don't want to see it but then there are some like photo realistic artists who i do like i think it really just depends it also art is so fucking subjective y'all are so fucking annoying some shit people like some shit people don't like it's like music like am i gonna sit here and talk the most shit about like
Taylor Swift, like, no, because she has some songs I like, she has some songs I don't like. And like, is she my like, ends be all of music? No, but I fully understand why people live and die by her. And that's the end of that. And like, it's
it is such a bias based argument and it's so fucking stupid and I think people in the art world are so with their head up their ass and you weren't loved in high school and you just now have the money to collect things that hold value to you and then you attest that value to yourself when actually it doesn't make you a valuable person the art is what's valuable exactly I saw someone talking about
Cowboy Carter and they were like, take out the context behind the album and listen to it. It's not a good album. It's not a good country album. Bitch, what are we talking about? Take the fucking context out. What are you literally what are you saying? That is like the entire fucking point of
art is content. I know. Also, that's the entire point of music is the context in which it lies. And I mean, like, there's some music that doesn't necessarily have a message. It's just for shits and giggles. But her whole shit has always been a part of a context. Like her whole discography is very contextual with her life, the things she's going through, blah, blah, blah. Also, she stands for Beyonce rock album confirmed, basically confirmed.
Wait, by who? Act three is going to be rock album. She like was at the I Heart Music Awards the other night and on stage she shouted out this, the first guitar, like rock electric guitar player ever. And
Act 1 was like whatever the hell you would call that. Gay music or whatever. Whatever the hell you would call that. You mean her ode to ballroom? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever the hell that gay stuff was. I don't know. No, and then Act 2...
country act three rock with some like i imagine if okay this like would make me so sad but this would be the most iconic shit ever if act three was like like sasha fierce almost and it was like her ode to herself for like starting this like whole movement but like i can't like she's the girl like i love her tell me why we low-key knew beyonce was releasing a country album four years ago
Yeah, me and Drew. But we literally somehow knew, but we didn't believe it at the time. We were like, yeah, fucking right. No, she's not. But like, it turns out she was. I know we had friends in the music scene who were telling us about it. And I was like, that sounds so random. And then when it actually got announced, I couldn't fucking believe it. Because I was like, damn, they were telling me the truth. Why do I think everybody lied to me? Four years ago.
And yeah, I swear to God, I was thinking about that the other day because I was like, oh my God, like I need to order something off of line or off. Off of line. I need to order something offline, off the line. And yeah.
I was thinking about like how like I put a lot of trust in these people to actually say they're shipping what I'm ordering and then it started making me spiral and I was like I'm not buying that because like what if they don't send me shit and I'm just like was like oh my god why can't I trust people like what is wrong okay that like makes you a little fucking crazy because I don't think like unless you're ordering
Ordering from like a random scary website. That's like a thought you had in like 2010 and it made sense. But to have that thought in like 2024 is so crazy. Like what if they don't even have the stuff at the place? But I guess that's not that irrational because it still happens. Like I literally, I ordered a fucking record off of, what is it? It's like hot merch, bar merch. It's some fucking website that sells, like legitimately sells vinyls and stuff.
Maybe it's poop. I never got my fucking record and I should have known it was too good to be true because it was a rare ass record that was only being sold for $30 and I was like, I'm gonna get this. Bitch, it never came and it was supposed to come from fucking Kansas and I know some fucking old ass motherfucker posted it and then probably died. How much was it? It was like $30. Oh, okay. That's not bad. Yeah, but I want my money back. If it's too good to be true, it might be true. Oh, I don't think that's the saying.
That was beautiful. Thanks, babe. Cut that. We'll cut that. What the fuck was that?
oh scared the shit out of me fuck y'all wait what happened they have a ring camera in here and they just made the alarm system go off could you hear it yeah i heard like it sounded like um sounded like an rc car riding across the desk yeah it literally does oh i wanted to go back to and you were saying like art is subjective and i totally agree like
Oh, some people like Rothko. Some people like Jeff Koons. And like, I like stuff like this. How many do you like? Art is subjective until I see that shit. And I'm like, y'all are fucking weird. Yeah. I like stuff like this. I literally saw, Kai, this thought come into your head when we were talking about it. I saw you smile. And I was like, what is he cooking up, bro? I know.
I went to the Bored Ape store today.
Like we've been a couple times to the Wee Shop. It's down the street from where I get my lobotomy. And I was like, I need, because I know that store is going to go out of business. Like there's no way that it exists. Yeah. Two months. And I was like, I need some ape water. But I walked up and I kid you not, there was like a security guard there. And he was just like, you don't belong in here. And I was like, you're around and like walked away.
Ape water. I have two of the ape waters. I like art like this. Or like this. Okay, that's the same picture. It's the same picture as pants are just off. There's so many bad ones that I'm not going to subject. I like your fan edit that you sent me. Oh, yeah. I collected all of those and then put it into a video editor and then made a gif out of it and sent it to Kai.
I think you can assume what happens. He takes his pants off and jerks off? Yeah. Exactly. Something is seriously wrong with you. I'm sorry, he's a baddie. Um... Well, the other night... No, this didn't happen. Not one. Not even one thing happened. How about that? Bye! Kai, get the fuck out of here. Leave. Now. Now. Now. Hey, y'all! Um, this is Drew...
Fuck, that closet has been open the whole time. Guys, watch this. I'm going to be in the closet. Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Hello! Well, the other night I was freaking the fuck out because if y'all don't know, I still don't have a car because I'm picky and I want a vintage car, but I'm too lazy and I'm just a girl and I don't trust myself to actually be able to maintain a vintage car. And one of my friends in New York has a really nice vintage car and like... What car is it?
the Volvo. And a bunch of us got a ride from him and I was standing outside of my friend's apartment with them and staring at the car and I had... I was having the craziest moment where I was looking at the car and I was like, bro, cars are literally not real. They are fucking gadgets. They're not. They are so weird and I wish I was an animal to see the way humans move because I think I would be freaked out because...
I was looking at that car and I was like, they literally made toy versions of this car. That's how much it's not a real car. Like you can't find a toy version of like a Toyota Camry from 2010 unless you can. And I just don't know. But like older cars are such gadgets that they made toys out of them. Like if cars were clear, this is what we would look like. Wait, why do my forearms look huge right now? They don't. I guess I kind of do. Right here. Oh, fuck. That's like not impressive to me.
yeah uh no cars are actually horrifying they're literally just death traps think about it yeah the way they crumble bruh like are you fucking serious why do we get in those but i love driving oh my god actually i was driving another friend's fucking car recently uh to go meet up for coffee and i borrowed that friend's car and i parked it and it's like a nice vintage car
So I park it and I'm walking and I like get past this guy. So like, we're like this far apart. Like we're like maybe like five feet apart. I've already passed him. And I just hear, and I was like, what? And I turned, I was like, what? And then he was like, that's, that's just a really cool car. And I was like, oh, like, thanks. And then he got, before I could like say what I was going to say, which is like, oh, it's not mine. I'm borrowing it.
He goes, but you probably just have a really cool life. And looked down and then I felt so bad. I was like, that was like the most... That's Kai Riz. And then I just turned and I was like, oh yeah. Get in here and do that Riz. That's so Kai Riz. What was the Riz? Sorry, I was drinking. Drinking what? Alcohol. Oh my god, bro. It is literally noon. What was the Riz? Okay, so the scene is...
you going to rehab and asking for help yeah so I'm in rehab you literally do look good right now really yeah you actually do I'm not even kidding
the riz is i was borrowing my friend's vintage like nice car i parked it and i walked past this dude who was just like standing on the sidewalk smoking i got like five feet from him and then i just heard it and i was like what what happened and then he was like that's a really cool car and then before i got to say like oh it's not my car he goes but you probably just have like a really cool life and like look down and away from me and i was just like
I was like, did it work though? No bitch. Cause I was like, it's not my car. It's my friend's car. And then he goes, Oh hell yeah. I was going to say, cause like, it's so nice. I was like, yeah, it's definitely like my dream is to have like a cool vintage car, but sadly it's not mine. And they were like, yeah, yeah. And then we just did. Then I was like,
okay have a good day and then i just turned around and like walked away really fast because i didn't want to have to keep talking to him um okay if i was a man in that situation i simply would just not talk to the girl period can you i just want to see if our hands are the same size
Oh, wow. Yeah. They are, like, low-key the same size. Mine's a little smaller. That's Kai's wrist. He's still doing that middle school shit. Like, wait, how big are your hands? Kai sent me something today, and it was, wear my hug at sun or look how small my hands are, daughter. Which one are you choosing? Damn.
I'm still choosing look how small my hands are daughter because I feel like she can grow out of that. I feel like if you're a where's my hug at son, you will be there for the rest of your life. Yeah, where's my hug at son? Literally in seventh grade realized that they were a loser very early on and the only way they were going to be able to touch boobs is by getting hugs. Because your boobs, when you hug us, we can feel your boobs. Okay, like I...
It's fucking hot. Hey, side hugs only, babe, from now on. Right, right. I get a boner every time I hug in you. Guys, our last episode got peaked. We didn't even hug.
Yeah, we really don't. I mean, we hug a few times. Our last episode was about 18 plus restricted. Yeah, and this one probably is too because you're talking about jerking off to fucking Up Dad and y'all are sitting here like... We're blurring that. Oh, wait, no. Inside Out Dad. Yeah, it's Inside Out, but we're blurring that. We're blurring that. Um...
But okay, so we need to hug twice a day. We need to hug in the morning and at night. Because didn't you see that thing that was like, oh, hugging makes you happier? Y'all are jerking off to him. That's my man. I see it. That's like one of those like, like ones that could work. God damn, no. I can make that shit work. Why would you though? Because he's a sweet old man. What does that have to do with you having sex with him? Everything.
Hello, my name is Drew. Hello, my name is Drew.
Hello, my name is Drew. I feel like I'm like in a, like, you know, during COVID when people who had to go to like rehab and shit had to do their apology calls over Zoom. That's what I feel like I would do. And you're like still not there to apologize yet. It just copied my laugh. Hello, my name is Drew. Hello. Dude, that doesn't sound like anything to us. I'll let...
Well, I was at a karaoke bar with a bunch of friends and like we had been there all night. We were the only people in there.
And then this guy and girl came in together and like, they were like sweet. I just assumed they were a couple immediately. And the bartender was like, oh, there's only room for two more songs. So we're like, oh, we should give them the two songs. But one of my friends was drunk and just like really trying to finish her song. And I was like, bruh, stop fucking singing. Give this couple their song. Because then one of our friends had spoken to them and they were like, oh yeah, he lives in Colorado. He's going back tomorrow. It's our last night together. And I was like, oh my God, this is so sad. Like give her the fucking song.
yeah tell me why they got a song and he picked jolene and in that moment i was like oh but they are not fucking dating like he was belting out jolene all of us were like oh my god this sweet couple and then he did jolene and then she did innocence by avril lavigne and we were like bro they're the gayest people i've ever seen in my life and then we spoke to them and they were like
definitely not dating and that just goes to show not to judge a book by its cover that's my story a lot of people would see us and be like oh Drew's gay she's scary but no we're together I'm scary we can date even though you're gay I don't care I'm not I'm just saying hypothetically I wouldn't care
You literally are the nice person. Yeah, I'm super nice and chill. Okay, so, and yeah, there's some, I don't know what type of news this is. It might be good or bad. I'm curious to see the way you react to it. Because I had a very mixed reaction. The movie that we auditioned for that got canceled got made. Really? It's coming out soon.
Who else did you tell that to? What? Because you said this has gotten a mixed reaction. No, no, no. I meant internally. Like my own. Oh. Wow. I really will never forget us leaving that audition to be like. When was that? Was that like years ago? Yeah. Yeah, it was like two, three years ago. Pandemic Lovato. Yeah. Why did you say that? It's like pandemic, pandemi, pandemi Lovato.
Demi Lovato is pan you said why don't people say that yeah I ate I don't know um well I think the movie just isn't going to be good because it ain't past us and I'm a fan they didn't even say anything to us about our tape so I'm going to go to the screening the premiere and take a bunch of fentanyl no we're going to be like that Madison Beer uh clip where she's like I was supposed to be in the music video that's us we're like I was supposed to be in
Like, I was actually supposed to be in the movie. I was just busy. I was actually supposed to be there, but I was... Yeah, we were busy doing podcasts and college shows, so we couldn't, like, make it. The thing with that clip...
Like of Madison beer saying, Oh, I was supposed to be in it. Like I believe her, like she, she was supposed to be in it. And this narrative has spread that she just made that up, but no Madison beer is that girl and has always been that girl. She was probably supposed to be. Yeah. I believe she was going to be in it, but it's still one of the best. The narrative that did spread made it 10 times better.
Like that, it's like one of the funniest things ever. Thinking about someone just lying that they were going to be in an Ariana video. That's mean. Damn. Time flies when you're talking to your girls. Yeah. Time flies when you're catching up.
- Well, I can't stop thinking about the big hat. Like, I'm not kidding. I love the big hat. I can't stop thinking about it. I'm gonna get Elsie to send me this clip because she sent me the clip from the day we bought the big hat and Kai, you're in it because we FaceTimed you to show you the big hat and I'm gonna ask for it so we can insert it. I love the big hat and I got myself a big hat. Like it's not a big hat, but it is my big hat. - You have it? - Do you wanna see it? - Yeah, yeah. - The thing is you're gonna laugh at my big hat, but I think it's cute. - No, is it like the Celine one?
It's like a big hat. It is a big hat. You'll get it. Let me fucking see this shit. Thank God it's just the boys. Should we crack a beer open? Yeah, I'll crack another one. Sorry, I forgot. I'm going to crap myself. I'm going to crap my pants. Really? I just can't stop crapping. Can you pull your wiener out? Just really quick. Mom, yeah, we got to go. Yeah, no, I'm leaving.
He can't even hear me. Drew, Drew, please come back. Y'all are going to make fun of me. I'm scared to show my big hat. Wait, where's Drew? I said something and it like freaked him out. So he left. What the fuck? I don't even know what I, I actually don't know what I said. I'm scared of y'all making fun of me. Yes, I'm sorry. Yes, what? Yes, daddy. All right, Inya, let's see your big hat. I'm scared y'all are going to make fun of me, bruh. Y'all are going to make fun of my big hat.
If it's Conti, I won't. But if it's not... Oh, it's not big. It's cute. It's Parisian. Is it Margiela? It's giving Margiela kind of deconstructed. The thing is, if I don't push it down, it's really good. Okay, that's big hat. So I have to squish it down and... Giving hook when you pull it up. Or it's giving Mario for some reason. No, this is cute. That looks good. What is it?
Miss Jones. Ow, motherfucker. Jones on third. It's by Steven Jones, who's like an iconic. I had to look it up before I bought it because I was like, bitch, I'm not about to spend money on a hat. That's like stupid. But the designer is like an iconic designer who's helped like a lot of brands make all their big funky hats. So who knows? Maybe he helps make the big hat that's made me happy.
Oh, yeah. No, this is cute. It's like giving very like Russian like fur hat. Like it's not bad at all.
I wanted to make fun of it, as you can tell. Like, I wanted to hate it. I was scared. I was going to wear it the whole episode, but then I was like, if I get on and they start making fun of my big fucking hat, I'm going to be so sad. No, I would never make fun of your big hat. Well, I was at Dover Street Market, and I saw Lil Uzi Vert, and I felt like I was watching a cartoon character run around. Did you say hi? No, because I'm terrified of him. Like in a good or bad way? No, he was really nice. Like,
He was like saying hi to everybody and then it was actually so funny the employees were like, "Bro, he's been here three times this weekend." Sometimes like he hasn't gotten anything but he just comes and runs around for a second and then leaves because he's bored. I was like, "That sounds like the most Lil Uzi thing I've ever heard." I want his fucking brain chemistry so bad. I want Playboy Cardi's brain chemistry. I want Lil Uzi Vert's antics. I want... That's really all I need. Drew, have you seen his car?
Who? I feel like we were talking about this. Lil Uzi Vert's car. It's like a huge armored truck. It's a what truck? It's like a big armored truck. Like, have you guys played? Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like the 300. It's like $300,000. Yeah. It's like a militia truck. It's got like the M logo. It's bulletproof.
Yeah, yeah, and it can, like, blow smoke and, like, gas out an area so it can escape and shit. It's literally, like, a truck that they use in the army, but you can drive it on streets. Wait, guys, do I have aura? Like, you have, like, a pheromone-based aura that, like, kind of is disturbing. It's like how some animals, like, send out a spray to scare other animals.
people or like animals that's what you have yeah i spray shit out of my ass no like if you saw me like would you say like oh like he's a vibe or would you kind of be scared of me 100 you guys both have aura yeah i feel like kai you have aura and yeah
Do you agree? Yeah, you have aura. Oh, okay. Wait, okay, guys. I'm going to show you all how to read your own aura color. I found out a new method, and it actually is very easy. So grab your finger and hold it open like this. Okay, keep, like, open it more. And then slowly, so point it at the wall, and now slowly close it, but don't touch it, and look between the gap. And then once you see white,
like once you see a white outline on your fingers and it gets stronger and stronger i forget what to do oh you can whatever but you can see the it's blue white you got i i can tell when you learn something on tick tock like i can just tell because it's not something you've done before like you haven't done this in your own time you just saw the video and like tried to remember it this one i've always done this is like i can i literally can see my aura
Didn't we go and get our auras read? Why did we do that? We got that picture where you put your hands on the pods and then it takes pictures of you with the color all around you and it's just fake. Why did we do that? Because the pictures were pretty. They were like printed Polaroids. I'm going to go get that and then Photoshop the colors to what I want my aura to be.
but the thing is in those pictures in here we were eating down like we both know the fuck i wasn't i looked like shit in that picture that's why that shit never got posted really i look bad yeah i looked like non-good they didn't give me a heads up they didn't have the that uh camera at the right angle they shot kind of from below i look really scary in that picture babe you like look the best to me when you think you look the worst what does that say about you and what does that say about me
That says that you're a fucking tryhard and you're a liar. Um... We have mold in our bathroom.
Bruh. We don't have mold in our bathroom. I bet if we took the fucking bubbling out paint chip off the wall, we peeled it back and we looked back there, there would be mold growing. I get sick every time I go in there. Every time. I already said this to Drew, but he gets sick when he goes in the bathroom because he lays flat in his bed for 12 hours a day and he can't eat till nighttime. So he's lightheaded and undernourished and hasn't had water. And then he finally gets up to go pee after holding it for eight hours.
Did I tell you about that? Did I tell you about that? No. What? I told I, okay, this is T. So long story short, I'll tell two things really quick and then we can wrap this episode up. But one thing, so, you know, my reusable straws. Yeah. Well, I like didn't have a straw with my wing stop. So I grabbed my reusable straw and I shoved it into my Dr. Pepper.
sucked up and it was globular and it was like puffy like that's the only way i can describe it i spit it out into the sink little straw and you had black mold growing in it and i just sucked it up and you know what's crazier it tastes like hella good bro and i spit it out and i like looked inside all of our reusable straws and i held them up to the light
black mold growing in every single one of them. So I went through and threw them all away because I was like, I'm not doing it. I tried to clean them and it just was like stuck to the metal walls. I was not having it. You know what that probably is? It's from my smoothies that I've been having. Your smoothies?
Your smoothies. Okay, the other thing is the day before something big coming in about a month, I'm sure you can infer what it was. I did it dolo, like right when you left. The morning of, I woke up like hella, hella early, like even early for like when I'm like normally up.
And like, I started, I didn't even realize how early it was. And I started doing my routine and I like go to the bathroom. The first thing I do every morning is I take a big piss, I drop a big pee load and do the toilet. And I was so, so tired. I was so tired that I sat down to pee this morning. Cause like, you know, that's a fucking vibe. Sometimes it's just like sitting and pissing in the dark. Like I don't want my eyes to burn. Like it's a vibe. Like we can live like, I
I'm a man and I sit and pee. Like, why do you have to, like, defend sitting and peeing? Because, like, as a man, like, you know. Hey, it's okay. I sit and pee, too. Oh, okay. Kai? I only sit and pee. I never went through a standing phase. Yeah, it is just a phase. It is more ergonomic. It makes more sense. But anyways, I sat down to pee and, like,
I'm peeing and I don't notice anything. And then I start thinking and I'm like, damn, this is like a big piss. Like this is like going on for a very, very long time. And like, I'm like now aware of it. And I'm like, whoa, like I am peeing like a lot, like more than I have ever peed ever in my life. Like it went on for like,
three minutes like it was it was a long big pee like it was it was forever and I was like whoa this is crazy and I like got up and started texting Josiah because I was like it's funny like I was like I took a big piss like whatever and I stand up and I don't pull my pants up yet
And I immediately like have the worst, like standing up too fast feeling I've ever had. And I stand up and I'm like, whoa. And I go to start like washing my hands and I'm out of it. And I start literally losing consciousness. Like, you know, when your body is like vibrating and like your vision starts tumbling, I started losing consciousness immediately.
And I was aware enough to not fall forward. I literally, and you took a step back from the counter, collapsed back into the door and rolled down on the wall with my pants around my ankle. And I literally fell and I was like braced like this on the ground. And I was like, literally, I'm not kidding. My chest started like,
twitching like my chest muscles like you know when people get having like a mini stroke dude I literally think like when people get knocked unconscious like their body's twitching my whole chest was twitching and like I was fully caught like not fully aware but I was like conscious during it and I like literally after it stopped and I started coming back to I just started like
diabolically laughing because like the scene in my head was like a camera in the corner filming me and I literally did the Wendy Williams thing where I just like dropped in my pants around my ankle and my bare ass was on the floor and I was like twitching um and then I was like really like contemplating going to the doctor or like going to the hospital um but I didn't because I had obligations and I wasn't about to back out of them because like
Oh, okay. That makes sense. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like the thing you did. But yeah, I literally collapsed on the floor of the bathroom and like started fucking genuinely tweaking. It was crazy.
Well, I've been in good health recently. So thank you for all your comments of people saying that may God take away all my bad illnesses and give them to Drew because I can feel it happening and I can feel myself being healthy and good and fun. And I can feel that Drew's health is deteriorating, which I needed those wishes. So thank you guys so much for that.
Wow, this is crazy. Now, this is literally crazy that you would wish ill health on me. Well, the thing is, between the two of us, if one of us is going to be sick, it might as well be you because you like enjoy it because something's wrong with you. And I just don't like it. Yeah.
But all that is to say the same thing happened to Josiah. I'm sure y'all know the story. He was at a, he was on tour. He was laying on the floor of the van for a long time and he got up and went to pee at the urinal inside of a gas station. And he like,
the most pissy ever piss in his life and then walked out of the bathroom and fell into a chip rack and flung chips everywhere. And Lucas was like, oh, this is like too far, Josiah. Like this isn't funny. And Josiah was just like literally fully unconscious on the ground. And like he immediately hit up his doctor or a doctor and was like, yo, like what just happened to me? And they said it's a vasovagal episode. So I self-diagnosed and I think that's what happened to me.
But they're so common. They're normal. They're normal. You need to take the iPhone away from you. Like you need your iPhone taken away from you so that if you're really about diagnosing yourself, we need to see you go to a fucking public library and go start picking out books and start to like diagnose yourself like that because it's too easy on your phone. Well, look it up. Well, I still need to faint. Like, but I...
I need to faint in a fun way. I need to be getting crazy news and there to just so happen to be a gorgeous bed with fluffy duvets and pillows and stuff behind me and I faint and I fall like this. That's what I need. But I don't look very good when I'm sleeping so I can only assume that when I'm knocked out I'll be like a nasty mouth-breathing mess. So maybe I don't need to...
so maybe i don't even knock out no standing up too fast i've decided is a blessing and i love it because it feels so good it's like i get like high like three times a day no i think you need like iron and nutrients so that that stops okay well should we get into media media of the week
I haven't been singing. Drew and Inya's media. Drew and Inya's media. Media. Did you just make that up? Yeah. That was actually really good. Thank you. My media of the week is... I love it. Playboy Cardi, Camila Cabello. I love that song. Sorry, Charlie. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.
And then... Oh, did I take it out of this fucking playlist? Oh, hell no. I love Always On My Mind, Pet Shop Boys. Oh, y'all.
I've been listening to so much Brazilian funk. It's like actually becoming like my favorite genre of music of all time. Like I love Brazilian funk music. And our friend Violet made me a playlist on SoundCloud like a few years ago and I revisited it.
Y'all, it's goaded, goaded, goaded, goaded with the cells. Also, Numbness, Mac Miller and Lana Del Rey, deep cut. It's on SoundCloud. I've never heard that. Well, mine is When I See Scissors, I Can't Help But Think of You by the Dead Texan, Oh Louisiana by Chuck Berry, which is a song that Beyonce sampled in one of the interlude songs.
I Want Your Love by Chic. I want your stupid love, love, love. I want your stupid love. Leaves that are green, Simon and Garfunkel, and Sympathy for the Devil, The Rolling Stones. The Rolling Stones.
Oh, and Get It Right by Miley Cyrus. That song is so fucking good. Like every year I have just a moment where I'm like, you know what I need to do? I need to re-listen to Bangers. And I had that moment the other day and like there were my go-to songs on Bangers that I would always kind of go back to that were kind of just like more fun, nostalgia based. All that ball and around we go and away we go and away we go. I'm a female devil. So,
So good. Get it right, though. You know what another good one is? Yeah, smoke pot. Yeah. What is it? Is that from Dead Animals? Yeah, Dead Animals. But...
Yeah, that Miley song. I have noticed you listening to it a lot more recently. If you scroll down deep on my IG, I posted a picture of my playlist and it was all like MIA and Miley Cyrus bangers. And I thought I fucking ate. And like, honestly, I did. And that's the tea. But that's it. And then I saw poor things. Oh, you saw it? Yeah.
Was it not a vibe or what? You know what? I think I had the same problem I have when I hear people talking about a movie too much. I really liked it, but I had my gripes about it, which I won't get into. But it was a good movie. I liked the movie. There were parts of it where I was like, okay, a man did make this. Yes, a man was trying to be a feminist. I see. I see. Yeah.
which, whatever, it was like a really good movie. Loved the fantasy, the weirdness of it. But, you know, there's something to be said about men making feminism movies. And the thing to be said is don't. Don't. Don't.
Don't play with it. Don't be honest. But I need to start dressing like her in that movie. I need my hair to be that long. Thinking of just getting extremely long extensions, but because my hair is already, like, curly, I think it'll be a nightmare, and it's already hard. Y'all, I just got a fucking email, and I've told this story a bunch, and someone from the story just emailed me saying that they...
I'm not gonna read the whole thing, but it was foam and glow the rave concert in Texas that I went to like obliterated I remember turning around while a Blurrent was being passed around and lo and behold there you were baby faced with your little rave glasses on or with your little glasses on Damn, that's so fucking funny. Wait, someone said walk a flock of flame. I
Yeah, well, Waka Flocka Flame was at the concert. Oh, okay. You have such a problem where you just say things because that was the curse. Oh my God, someone said Waka Flocka Flame. Yeah, what's up? He's acting like he has fucking friends or something at that fucking house, but he's all alone. There's no one there. Yeah, there's no one there. You're fucking crazy. Luna's awake and my mom was knocking on the door. Well, April Fool's.
Just a regular ass day for me. I've been lying. I've stayed lying, you know? Oh, are you doing Drew Siop? Yeah, Drew Siop. I'm reading emails. That one was from, who was this from? Sydney. This is from Amari. Horny blind people gotta have crazy imagination. I'll give one.
smoking fucking weed and listening to fucking music show the picture the way this made me laugh Dom showed it to me at a dinner and I laughed so hard at that because remember last week when I was like my fucking discover weekly was so fucking good and I couldn't believe it it's literally because I just smoked and I was listening to fucking music so smoking fucking weed and listening to fucking music is a fucking vibe
Guys, if I seemed low energy this episode, it's because I don't have my bitches around me. Wait, what is that? I said if I seemed low energy, it's because I don't have my bitches with me. Oh, I thought you said flow energy. No. We need to have Violet on the podcast also. Yes, that would be such a fucking vibe. Okay, why tornadoes... Why don't tornadoes ever hit banks? Blow some money out that motherfucker. Okay.
Y'all, when I was flying in, a tornado, a supercell that hit my hometown produced a tornado the town over. So I almost got to live out my tornado fantasy, but I was a little late. I'm so glad the music at the club is loud as fuck because I'd be farting in there.
This is like me and Yan Kai together meeting for the first time. I kind of like people who trauma dump. I don't know. I don't care if I just met you 30 minutes ago. Tell me why your mom lost custody of you. I'm curious. That's literally my vibe. Like, it is rare that a trauma dump bothers the fuck out of me. I'm like, this is tea. Yeah, literally. Like, your life is my tea. It's like I love it. Fill my cup up. Those were from Amy. Yeah.
Let's just search the email one last time and see what happens. I'm a female rebel, can't you tell? What did she say? Driving so fast, about to piss on myself. She literally says that in the song. Amaya says, you wild as fuck if you dookie with your coat on. Dookie sleeves. Um...
Ash says, girl, shut the fuck up about Zodiac science. How about you Zod, Zoc this D-act? Mm-mm. Girl, shut. Was that a ZocDoc read? Yeah, ZocDoc ad. That was a ZocDoc ad. Life is simpler when you're nonchalant soon as you start chalanting shit. Mm-hmm.
It's okay. We had like two bangers. Yeah, we had a couple of them. But shout out Ash. Alright, peace out, y'all.