Dreaming About Nightmares
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That's me slapping you a little tuchus to start this episode. Your little butt cheek. A little spank. A little spank to start the day. Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom. I would just like to point out if...

I'm like, just in case anything looks a little different, as if anything's ever looked like good and proven proper. Like, literally gone right once. If it's looking a little darker, a little dimmer, we're starting a little later because we ran into literally a million technical difficulties. Actually a million problems. But what's new? Our last episode was the glitchiest podcast I think ever released by anybody. No, some would say that we're like breaking boundaries. Okay, we're inventing genres. Yeah, podcast glitch core. Glitch core.

I don't know. That's just how I choose to see it. Yeah. But... I was going to say... What were you going to say? Nothing. I was literally going to say, I would also like everyone to know that my stomach is so fucked up because yesterday I had a whole bag of hot fries, like so many Takis. We've been snacking, y'all. Like we've been snacking like crazy. And that's like...

Very hypocritical because we were like, what you put into your body really does matter. I usually am pretty good about it. But the other, like, two nights ago... Oh, my God. But... If you're not watching, Drew just pulled out blue talkies as if infrared red talkies weren't already inhumane. These should not exist. Like, these literally should not exist. The color's not natural. And I don't understand why they made them blue. Like, there was no reason for blue talkies. But I will say, they...

are not better but they are like pretty like damn i was just about to say because you had a different bag for the last episode that you forgot to bring out oh yeah i'm not lying when i say eat talkies every day they're in they're in the category or in a category of their own like blue talk if you had the food pyramid and you were a little kid you'd put talkies at the top food pyramids are also a scam that like food companies pay for but we don't have to talk about that

that right now we don't have to get into that we don't have to go into another rant about our mental health and digestion but my my stomach is turned the fuck up my shit is fucked up the other day quinn posted a video i knew about these tiktok snacks but she posted a video that she tried them and she was like disgusted and appalled by them and i was still convinced i would like them

I still haven't had chamoy, but like I had... We need chamoy. I know. It's been too long. We went on like an adventure to go find... Dude, my shit was fucked. My burps literally smelt like they should be incarcerated. They were fire. They literally were like pepper spray. Like I'm not kidding. Like they burnt my fucking eyes. But yeah, I had like the pickle wrapped in fruit roll up. And then I don't know where I saw this. My brain just thought of it. But like gushers covered in lime juice with tahini on them.

Those were fucking good. I wanted Gushers to be sour, though. Like, in my head as a kid, Gushers were, like, sour. Yeah. Sorry, I'm getting a fucking call. We made a joke literally before starting this that we were going to leave our ringers on, and I forgot to turn mine off. Damn, it's vibrating in my coochie now. Hey, I'm vibrating your coochie. Okay, TMI, but literally when I was in seventh grade.

in seventh grade i remember i was texting my crush and playing call of duty on the wii which was weird i loved it it was actually so fun we should get a wii like that's dangerous um but basically in between playing i put my phone between my legs just because i was like i dropped it and then it vibrated and i was like

Now, what was that? No, everyone experimented. Everybody experimented with a vibrating controller. I'm sorry. I'm being honest. Everyone put it on their private parts and loved the way it felt. And that's all I'll say. Literally, the way this conversation has gone so far, it's absurd. We haven't hit any topic that we were supposed to because I'm like, my brain is on fire. No, I have never felt like this in my life, I don't think.

Like I am melting away. Literally everyone in our friend group when they're drunk. It is literally 98 degrees in here. It's 98 degrees in this house and I have a fucking sweater on. Is your head covering it? I don't think so. I don't think so. It's 98 degrees and you'll see it go up to 99, I'm sure. Which will be awesome. Someone literally today commented. Take a shot every single time they say um at the same time. We're just in unison.

What's the first topic? I think we should get into... Like, we should really dive into how I believe the iPad babies control the world. Oh, my God. Because that was something I briefly spoke about for, like, one second in the first episode. And I never really dove into that topic. But legitimately, the iPad babies control the world. Like, one...

um the the babies that we're currently raising with ipads like they're literally like every ad is targeted towards them like it's pleasing the ipad babies like content is now being created yeah babies are literally like from jump being turned into ultra consumers yeah it's one it's insane and two everything we're viewing now is made for ipad babies and two it's

the people who like didn't really grow up with iPads but like when they were seven or eight they had iPads in their hands, iPhones in their hands. Like those are the kids now that are like canceling everybody. There's something to be said like they're being introduced to a world that is like very black and white because the internet isn't necessarily a ground for taking a step back and thinking about the like whether it be like cultural or like

like, physical or like where you grow up, like any kind of context. So yeah, literally there it's because they expect things to go one way or the other. They expect if they order their Amazon package, it should be here tomorrow. If it says it's here tomorrow, if it's not here by tomorrow,

Do you remember like ordering shit off the internet like in the very, very early days? Like ordering something off of eBay, like you just never knew when it was going to fucking come. Or if it was going to come. It was like. It was a gamble every single fucking time. Literally, I remember I ordered like, do you know those like Go-Go's that I just bought a giant bag of? I remember I had my mom order me like a lot of them when I was like nine or ten and she was like, I don't know when it's going to get here. And it literally took like three months to get here. I remember.

I was going to say, the first thing I remember ordering was like so fucking expensive for us. It was the 1D varsity jacket, which if you are selling the Navy One Direction varsity jacket with the red lettering on the front and I don't think anything on the back and the cream sleeves, I want to buy it off of you. I want it so bad. I was looking for it the other day and I couldn't find it and I want it because I realized I look really good in varsity jackets, like not to toot my own horn. But basically, one...

We ordered that off of like, I think eBay or fucking Etsy or something. And I was so fucking scared. I was like, I'm going to get my ass whooped if this shit doesn't fucking show up. Like, I was so nervous that I made my dad spend $100, which I might as well have asked him to like sell the house. Like, that was so crazy. And he only did it because he couldn't get me...

concert tickets and he felt really bad and I literally would cry to him all the time like every time tickets would go on sale and it'd be like $124 for like the worst tickets in the world I'd be like please can we get them and he'd be like I can't do that right now and I would go to my room and cry that's literally so tragic because when I was a kid I got everything I ever wanted aww now look at you now look at you having a panic attack on camera haha

But yeah, iPad baby... Dude, the scary thing is iPad babies are literally... And I know it's so old head to say, but they're not going outside. I also actually saw a very beautiful TikTok the other day. Ironically enough, I was being the iPad baby and consuming heavily. But...

This woman was talking about how she... Her baby does not know what a fucking iPad is. Her baby was like, yeah. She was like, how did you get your baby to talk so eloquently like at two years old? Oh, I didn't see that. But it was like she literally was like put the iPad in front of the baby and he just like was playing and was like...

What is that? Our generation is literally going to be anti-iPad baby. Like my... I'm sorry. My child will not have a fucking iPad until it's 28 years old. I won't even give my teenager a lighter. I'm going to give it a stick and a stone. I'm like, figure it out. Make fire. You want to let your blunt so bad? Figure it out. Literally make fire. Learn how to make fire. But I don't believe in having kids. But that's a different conversation. Actually...

sometimes I was about to say, sometimes I'd be like, I'd be like, you know what it is. It's honestly just like, I know I'd be a good mom. Like, that's the only thing that I'm like, I would be an awesome mom. But also sometimes Azul, when she's yelling at me, I'm like, if I could throw you in the air and punk kick you through the window, I would literally, that's like something we've talked about so often. It's like, like I want kids when I'm older. Um,

Um, and I'm always like in you, like when we hit 30, 40, if we're still single, we're going to get eloped and adopt children together. Um, and, and he was like, no, I'll never fucking have kids. And you always said like maybe adoption, but like,

Recently, you've been seeing, I've been sending you TikToks of babies and you're like, kind of like, wait. Okay. I want one of those stink pies, like those little stinkers. I just, there are some people who I think have like a natural maternal instinct and they're like, I really, yeah, like I want kids. Like that's something I want. For me, it's like such a deep, deep dis-want and like the idea of it scares the fuck out of me. But then sometimes on a good day, I'm like, wait, wait.

Being like 32 and having a kid sounds sweet. Like it's kind of cute, right? I'll fucking have a baby when I'm 40. Like I don't give a fuck. Exactly. What do you always say when I, the conversation, you're always like women who have kids when they're older live longer. Oh yeah, literally women who have kids when they're older live longer. I think I just like, oh, someone was talking about this really like,

put together on fucking TikTok. Oh my God. But they were talking about how like they hate the ideology of like, oh, I had a kid in my 20s. So by the time I'm in my 40s, I can be free. And they were just speaking about how kids are like a forever choice. You don't just like, they don't turn like 18 and you're done with them. And that's a like really big American ideology is that once a kid's 18, you're done. And kids are 18s.

A lifelong decision. You always have to be there for that person. You're always worrying about that person. Yeah, that is like a lifelong...

responsibility and that's why I believe in having a child in your later life which some might find selfish because they're going to be like well you're going to pass like when the child's earlier like younger and fuck them kids I've experienced that and I'm thriving I'm slaying the house I'm slaying the food's house now like look at me I'm awesome but no actually like I just you're a star yeah you're awesome yeah I'll have a kid when I'm like

Pushing 38 and limping. Yeah. I'm down for it. But like, can we adopt together or no? I would like to like adopt a kid and have a kid. Like the part of me that wants to like bear a child is like, I can do that. Like what the fuck? I know, that's the craziest shit ever. Women literally just make babies in their guts. Like that is so crazy. Like it freaks me the fuck out. Girl, I'll make something in your guts. Ah!

Now, what if I slapped the shit out of you? But yeah. But with that being said, if I had a baby, I would not give that shit an iPad. There will be flying cars and shit. I'm like, no, bitch, you're walking. We already have flying cars. They're literally airplanes. And no one wants to have that conversation. No one has that conversation. Everyone's like, oh, like, I always imagined we'd have flying cars in 2020. Like, bitch, we literally do. Like, we have flying airplanes. Well, I can't just get behind the fucking wheel of an airplane. You literally can.

Like you can have a private airplane if you train long enough like you can. Yeah, if I spend like a year training, I can get on one. Me, I do like a year is that long. It's honestly not that hard to get your pilot's license. It's expensive, but not hard. I'm gonna get my pilot's license and start my own private airline for celebrities in LA and crash every plane. Girl, what? And I'll jump out. What? I'm like...

So you're going to just like kill people? It'll be an accident. Who's going to book with you after you crash the first six planes? No, because I'm like very charming. And you're also very cheap. Yes. You offer cheap rates. I'm charming and cheap. That's what they call me. And I go to Hyde and I'm like dancing and I'm like with all the celebrities and stuff. And then they're like, oh, I have to go. Like, I really want to go to Italy next week. And I'm like, oh my God, I have a plane. Do you want to just get on it? Oh, this is...

No, it's like that scene in Josie and the Pussycats where like you just. You have referenced that movie so many times to me like I've seen it and I've never fucking seen it. And it's becoming one of those things where I'm like. I'm not going to see it because you keep mentioning it. I'm stubborn. You would literally love it. One of the characters in it is so annoyingly Josiah. It's like it pisses me off. Josiah is the most annoying person I know.

But I would literally kill. Like, I would slay blood. Like, I would make blood happen. You would slay blood? Yeah. I'd make blood happen for that man. Yeah. But that literally reminded me of the gnarliest fucking dream I've ever had in my entire life. Oh, okay. Literally. I've told any of this. I've told literally everyone this a million times because it was actually traumatic for me. And I have, like, video recording of me. Whatever. It doesn't fucking matter. I'll just get into it. Whoa. What?

Literally, HRH Collection. Like, shut the fuck up. If you're in the fucking comments, I know you're... No, never mind. Whatever. It doesn't fucking matter. Shut up. Don't talk to me. But literally, the gnarliest dream I ever had was like... It started... I'm gonna give... I say this every fucking time where I'm like, I'm gonna give the condensed version. And it always ends up being a 30-minute story. But I will literally give the condensed version because we don't have that much time. But basically...

Like the dream started and I was in this airplane hangar and like there was a bunch of people there that I knew and I was like in my late 40s like it almost felt like a celebration of my life like people were like oh like congratulate like I was getting congratulated for things and it was like everyone I ever knew was in this room and like it was just like a big dance party whatever.

People were dancing and like literally this is so fucking annoying and I hate that this is in the goddamn dream and it literally pisses me off every time I fucking say it. But Elon Musk was there and he had just invented like self-flying airplanes like those don't already fucking exist like drones but it was like a big giant jet.

And I was like, can I fly your – or I was like, can I have one of those jets? And he was like, no, you can't because it's still a prototype, but I'll let you fly this one. And I was like, okay, sure. So I like got in this self-driving airplane and like sat in it and like there was a pilot on board with me to like –

to like make sure nothing went wrong and so I sat in this like command center seat in the middle of the airplane like looking out from the sides of the airplane it's very weird and we we take off we get in the air and we're flying and then there's like this button that's like in the shape of like yin and yang and it like says a bunch of things on there but I can't really understand what it says but it basically says like do not press this fucking button and like literally like human instinct takes over like when something when you're told not to do something like it every fiber of your being is like

touch it, do it. So I clicked the button and the airplane immediately like lost control and started like diving into the ground. Like that, like when I tell you this is like the most visceral and real, like raw dream of my life, like everything felt real. Like I thought

I was living in real life. Like I thought this was real life happening to me. And I was like, oh my fucking God. Like what would it like? No, like stop, like help. And the lady up front was like, oh, I got this. Don't worry. Like we'll, I'll figure it out. And like, we kept diving and we started flying through like cities and like airplanes were passing by. I mean, buildings were like passing by. And like, I was like, oh my fucking God, like we're about to crash. And she was like, brace for impact. We're about to crash. And I was like, this is weird. But then

Like I was freaking the fuck out. I was like, this is the last moments of my life. Like this is really it. Like I was like, I can't believe like what's happening to me right now. Like what the fuck is going on? And then like then all of a sudden I just get this like wave of calm and I'm like, oh my God, this really is it. Like I'm like about to pass over, whatever. And then literally like the airplane impacts and normally like in dreams like this, I wake up, but no, like I feel

every fiber of my being ripping apart. I felt like my eyes like melting out of my face. Like it went from like me seeing white to red. It was like the most brutal and raw and real. Like it literally, like somehow my brain has experienced a plane crash in a past life because it recreated this in this dream. And like literally like atoms, like splitting just like the gnarliest shit. And then everything just went black. And I was like,

oh, fuck, like, I'm in the afterlife. Like, holy shit, like, I realized I was in the afterlife. And then, like, you, like, I was looking around, like, you look around, and, like, it's just emptiness. Like, imagine space with no stars, like, empty, nothing around you. I'm, like, standing, but I'm floating. It's very weird. And then, like, I hear this booming voice, like, over me, and it's, like, it just, like, I forget what it says. It, like, echoed, like, like,

You like passed away or something like this. Oh no, it was laughing at me. It was fucking laughing at me. That's what it was. It was like laughing at the way I died. And then like, it like started like,

like making me angry and like I felt like embarrassed at like the way I died or whatever and then like out of the distance I just see these like giant pillars like colored pillars like a like a graph like a chart rising out of this nothingness and it was literally like stats of my life and it was like you met 3,856 people like who considered you like a close friend like you were like a very social person like that's something to be proud of and then it was like there were 38 people in your life that like were

genuinely in love with you and like then there were like 400 people who considered you an enemy and just like all this crazy shit and these pillars were just like rising girl that's just IG stats literally it was my IG stats and then like

All of a sudden, this booming voice is like, time to go. And I get like... I hear this like... sound. And I get sucked into like another life. And I'm not going to go into it. But basically... You were literally... Your dream was the amalgamation of soul and mind games. Exactly. It was the craziest shit I had ever experienced in my life. But basically...

In this other dream, I was, like, living as another person. And then I got killed again. And then I got sucked into this, like, other realm. And then I got sucked back into another kid or another life. And then I woke up. But, like...

literally the craziest shit ever the most like real dream like when i tell you everything was real like it was literally real like i thought i was like actually experiencing this experiencing this and it was to the point where like when i woke up in real life i was like oh like i'm just experiencing like this dream again like whatever but it was gnarly i've had a few dreams like that where you like go through so many blips you wake up and you're like

this is starting again like is this real is this real i my only real dreams like that well i guess that's kind of a nightmare but i don't know if you it wasn't really the plane crash was a nightmare but everything else was like literally enjoyable until i was like literally murdered like the second time but whatever my dreams like the realistic ones are always fucking nightmares and i get so many nightmares so fucked up and

the thing is i don't have like normal dreams always something about them is unenjoyable and then a nightmare i don't get like i'm just like fucking like that one tiktok where the guy's like flying on a magic carpet yours are literally the scariest things i've ever they're literally like my deepest darkest fears just being like rationed from my brain and turned into the most realistic experiences yeah and that's everywhere from

from like being cheated on to like the closest person in my life and watching my family die like the most brutal death. It's like crazy. It is so nightmarish or if it's not like a deep fear, it's like a light fear or it's always something that's in my subconscious like during the day. Or it creates a new fear. Dude, the new one it actually fucking did was the new one is that I'm not cleaning my smiley enough or something. And you know what it is? Yesterday,

I like started like licking it and like I was like, there's a there's a new texture to like this piercing. Like it's like not as smooth as when I first got it. And there's a new flavor. There's bacteria like collecting on it and it's going to get infected. And like that's what I was thinking yesterday. I literally went into the fucking bathroom like a maniac with a Q-tip and sat there holding it down so I didn't rip it out and was like,

scrubbing it clean yesterday because I was like so freaked out and like now I'm like brushing it which I shouldn't be doing because like you shouldn't be moving it around but in my dream last night I literally I was like at I was out or something I was like at a restaurant having drinks with people and I went like this like with my tongue I like licked between it and both of the balls came unscrewed and fell into my mouth and then I was like

I like had the balls under my tongue so that I didn't swallow them. And I was like, this is about to fall out. I was like, you have my balls under your tongue. Okay, I'll stop doing that. Do you want me to stop or do you want me to keep going? What is wrong with you? It's like you set me up. You set me up for slam dunk every time unknowingly. And I have to just fucking finish. Yeah, balls in my mouth. Balls in my mouth. I lick ass cheeks. Literally me getting hacked on Twitter. Faking getting hacked on Twitter.

I was hacked. I like ass cheeks. Literally. That's us after sending Bob Odenkirk to the hospital. We're like, that was not us. The curse of the podcast. I know. And the curse of if you don't have sex with me, you'll end up in the hospital. We sent Bob Odenkirk to the hospital. No. You know what it was? It was like... He needed a reminder of what life was like and that he should try things differently.

Because you never know. Are you saying, are you trying to make it so you can try sex with you? I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore and you're probably thinking, wow, oh my god, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like, I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like, I miss the taste. Why does it not have to be about sex with me?

Because that's like wrong. That's like wrong, right? Or am I tripping?

Okay, balls in your mouth. Yeah, so the balls were in my mouth. And I like was holding it under my tongue. And I had my mask on in this restaurant. And I like was too afraid to pull it down. But I was like trying to talk with my tongue being held down and no one was understanding me. And I just ran out and tried to find a tattoo shop so that they would like screw it back on for me. And I was talking to this tattoo guy for so long. And he started ranting to me about like cleansliness and shit. And I'm like...

Like, can you fucking do your job? And then by the time he like looks through the computer, he's like, oh, our piercer is in shop right now. So actually we can't help you. I was like, what the fuck? And then I had, I said what the fuck out loud and swallowed the two ball bearings from my piercing. And then in my dream, it turned into like a really visual thing where the hole in my mouth was huge, like big enough that I could like put a Q-tip through it.

And like, I don't know, like it makes no sense. But in the dream, like I took the piercing out and it was really fucking gross and like infected. And I was like trying to clean it. And I was like freaking out and like.

It felt more like I was a little tiny person in my nose. Does that make sense? It was a really weird dream. That's just so crazy. It was literally scaring the fuck out of me because then I woke up this morning and I touched my piercing with my tongue because I was like... Is it there? Yeah, is it there? Did that happen? Even though I don't know why that would happen, if that makes sense. I wish my tongue was strong enough to undo the ball bearings because you know what that would mean. I mean...

Yeah. Balls in my mouth. Literally balls in your mouth. But yeah. And then I've had other really, really fucked up dreams that are actually so fucked up. Traumatic. Yeah. And traumatic that I literally can't publicly say them. And also like, it's like conjuring real shit. Like. Yeah. Like it's dark shit. She's told me and I'm like, you like need help. Like you actually need help. And I'm like, I'm getting it. It's not working. And it's, this isn't like, um, this isn't like.

This is every night. You have the worst dream of your life every night. I have a terrifying dream at least once a week. At least. And then sometimes when I'm really in it, I'll literally have night... Last summer, I had a nightmare about family members dying every night for four nights in a row. It was gnarly. I was like, Inya, you really need to stop manifesting this shit.

I slow. But yeah, I mean, my dream schedule is like maybe I get a dream every once, once every like two months. But I used to dream all the time. I don't know what the fuck happened. You gotta start taking melatonin so you can imagine like the craziest shit. I need to stop taking chlorophyll.

Because it's, well, chlorophyll gives me diarrhea. That's why I have to stop taking it. Chlorophyll gives me constipation. But I already have just, like, the worst guts in the world. Like, I'm always constipated all the time. But I do nothing to fix it, and I just like complaining about it, and that's that on that. Like, I love complaining. Yeah, same. Like, the thing is, could I go get, like, tests done to see what makes my stomach hurt so bad? Yes. Mm-hmm.

But then what would be the negative thing I get to complain about for five hours? Precisely. Because like, I don't think people understand how important complaining really is. It's fun. It is fun. It like actually opens the door to so many conversations to be had. And...

we're also just negative people orion keeps pointing that out she's like we literally have not said anything kind that was the gnarliest car ride of my life like that sent me into a spiral when she said that i was like oh my god like we are not you know what it is like my life sucked that's it i have no reason to be evil i just like am you had some emotional trauma some labor i'm like i'm something in there

The knock on your hat just now. Oh, it was my glasses. Scared me. Also, that was... I was trying to... No, because that was the same day we went to... What did we do that night? Like, for some reason that night, I got, like...

Oh, that was the night you were DDing. Yeah, I was DDing. Yeah, because I'm back on my party girl shit. You're literally party girl. I'm like crazy cookie fun party girl. And I'm like DD. Which is a slay. Drunk driver. Actually, I have been DDing recently, which is pretty interesting because me and Drew both have pretty intense social anxiety. And...

Going to parties and being like the sober one is literally terrifying for some reason. Yeah. I mean, honestly, like going, I was like, oh, this is like sceney. Like I'm going to see people and like have to communicate with people that I'm not really friends with, but I'm like acquainted with. But it really wasn't that bad. Yeah. It's always like it's the moments going into it. And then the first 10 minutes of being anywhere or like, oh,

It's like literally I can compare it to this but it's not relatable for anybody else. But like going on stage for tour the first time like every show like the first like two minutes like the two minutes leading up to it were fucking awful. But then getting on stage and like literally 25 seconds after being on stage you're like completely comfortable. Yeah. It's literally the exact same like the 10 minutes leading up to it I was like freaking the fuck out. But then I was like

As I was in it, I was like, whatever. It's not the biggest... I'll be fine. I'll survive. Yeah. And I actually enjoyed it. Like, I loved being DD. Like, I loved... Dude, it is fun. What makes it fun is, like, watching your friends have a good time and, like, just being, like, the trooper, being like, all right, let's go. Like, come on. Like, wrangling everybody up is, like, fun. But, yeah, it's always, like, the first 10 minutes are, like...

but I've tried to do it more often just because like I've gone to plenty social events sober. Like I don't want to make it seem like I can't function in social events not being sober because I do it all the time. But I mean specifically in party spaces or like dance rave experiences. I feel like those are a little more like

overbearing to be like the sober one which is actually kind of dumb because if anything there's like a slay in that because you're the only one who is like fully there mentally um and i'm also really fucking embarrassing when i'm drunk so i don't know why the fuck i'm acting like i'd be falling over like i am gross the other day i okay also that night i like

Need to not be so brave like which shouldn't even be a thing that I have to worry about I shouldn't have to worry about Disregarding men and being like hopefully they don't kill me. But the other night I was a fucking cunt. Yeah, but I loved it was deserving Yeah, it was rightfully so like men were weird men just think they can talk to you and if like There was way too much power in being to you Let me talk to you, you know

Damn, I really just do just about shit. Like you don't know how to just like sit. I'm just not getting enough words in, you know? I'm like the creative writing expert. Because every time you get a chance to speak, you don't say anything. When you get a chance to speak, you're like balls. Yeah, balls. I want you to be back on your party mode because you're fun demon time. I'm just like, I get like pretty bitchy. Mm-hmm.

I get pretty bitchy and I fall over. You fall downstairs and scrape your elbows. No, me, I'm like, I talked about, briefly talked about it. Like, no, I talked about it a lot. Like, I'm just like pure fucking evil. Like, it's evil. And I needed like...

But like I said, it's just like the fucking purge. Like every four months I just go evil. Like I go demon mode. And then like maybe in between like there's a casual drinking setting. But like I just literally don't know how to pace myself. And like I don't understand how people my age like don't black out every night.

You know what it is? I've said this before, but it's because people our age are going to things more often. So they're getting those little tastes of going to a party, getting kind of buzzed. And it's like, okay, I'm going to do this again in three, four days. So I don't have to get blackout. How is that enjoyable?

I don't know. If I'm not blackout, I'm not having a good time. Yeah. No, for me, it's like, I'm like, if I like, I'm like saying this as if I didn't like drink a bunch like recently because I was like bored. But like, but I felt like shit. Like I, I like did the whole party thing for like,

And also, when I say party, I wasn't, like, getting black out. Like, me being crazy is, like, I went out tonight. I had two drinks. I went out the next day. I had a drink. And then I went out the next day, and I had four drinks. And, like, all times, I was like, yes, I'm crazy. Like, that was me being crazy. But I just...

I don't know. I want to start doing it for the stories. Yeah. Because we always walk away from it with really good stories. And then we sit here and we don't tell them. But I do want to tell one of them. I know which one you're going to tell and you need to tell them. Okay. So this was...

What, 2017? Maybe 2016. No, it was 2017 because I... Was it the year before we moved? Yeah, and it was like post-graduation. So it was like... Okay. I used to come to LA and like be very involved in the influencer like circle. Yeah. I'm sure it's very obvious to you guys now. Like we're not very invested in influencer circles. I don't even think it was obvious back then. No, it was like very secretive. We would go to these parties and like not tell anybody.

Yeah. So we loved going, coming to LA and just having full LA experience of going to all the influencer parties, being around all these. I'm so uncomfortable. Being it's so loud when you move. Do you want to switch chairs? No, I'm good. You're chill. I'm good like this. You're chilling. We would come to these, to LA to like experience all these parties and shit. And.

Do I say the name? Yeah. Yeah, of course. I don't think it's... It's not the worst stories of him. They're pretty charming. For the... No, they're not charming. I wouldn't say charming. Charming. Charming is me being nice. But he definitely has a worse rep now. Yeah. But weirdly enough, I was hanging out with like Bryce Hall...

Just that whole squad. Yeah, that whole squad of like dudes. And then like, like Loray was in that and we're friends with Loray. So that like makes sense. Like it was like that. It was still that world of influencers. And I was hanging out with them a lot. Not necessarily, not like hanging out, but I was seeing them a lot because I was going to a lot of like Bryce Hollis parties. And I think there's like three.

I think I read like three of these stories in a row or maybe more so two. I could think of two of them in a row. One party I went to, having a good time. And then I was like, you know what? I want to leave. I've been here too much. It's looking the same for me. I want to go. I'm going to go bowling or something with some friends I was with. But before I left, I was like, I am going to steal alcohol. So I walked into the kitchen and I went and I was pouring like something into a bottle.

It's like a plastic bottle. And from over my shoulder, I hear Bryce and he's like, Enya. And I was like, what? And then he was like, do you want to do a shot with us? And I was like, no, I'm leaving. And he, I'm not kidding. This is the realest shit you'll ever hear. He pulled up his shirt and showed his abs and said, how about now? And I literally just stared at him and I was like, no, no, no.

and i just turned and closed my bottle and walked away literally the most horrific thing potentially ever to happen i remember i was literally i felt like i was like in a vine yeah this was you now era so it was like kind of acceptable to act like this but it was still so confusing to see it happen in real life i was genuinely shell-shocked and i just walked out into my friends who we were all waiting for the uber and i told them what happened and they were like no and i was like

Yeah, like that just happened behind those doors. Like that makes no sense. And then the next party we went to Mr. Bryce Hall himself. Because all of the parties were at his house. Yeah, we would go to these parties and it was like this house in the hills that I won't get into the details of the financials, but it was a very fucked up situation for this girl. I felt very bad for her. Um,

But yeah, it was, yeah. It was just an insane crowd. It was literally like... The most random people. It was exactly what when... No, there's not even a description of this kind of like activity on the internet. Because like as crazy as these fools are like publicly, it's still... It's literally like you might as well be like...

high on acid. Like, it's like the most unreal... I've also never done acid, so I don't know why that was the first thing that came to my head. But whatever y'all say, like, the psychedelics do to your brain, that's literally what... I don't need to do psychedelics because I experienced that. You experienced it with Bryce Hall. Yeah, I experienced that with Bryce Hall's existence in my, like, close circle. Also...

despite everything as far as i know we're on good terms he's cool i at this time i even still i used to make fun of him insanely on the internet it was crazy and he actually pulled me aside during this time because i was around him all the time and he was like no i think it's all fun and games like it's chill and i could respect that out of someone because i am a huge shit talker bitter bitch and i will make fun of people till the day i die and if they're cool with it like that makes me feel awesome but basically

Basically, at one of these parties, we're all standing and there's like a balcony like area in this house. And the music's going, everyone's talking and like it's a party, you know. Party. Party vibes. Party. He gets on top of this balcony and just goes, everyone, shut the fuck up. Turn the music off. Like roid raging. Angry. Screaming. Veins popping out of his forehead, neck, all of it. The whole thing.

And everyone's like, oh, something bad is about to happen. What's happening? Music stops and he's like, who the fuck stole the weed out of my room? And starts screaming. And this was literally the scene from SpongeBob where Mr. Krabs goes up to like SpongeBob because his homie just comes in his ear and is like, what I'm assuming is like, oh, we found the weed. You what? We found the weed. Oh, never mind. Turn around.

Keep raging. Also, I forgot to mention, he threatened to beat the shit, beat the living shit out of the person who he thought stole his weed. He was like, I will beat the fuck out of you. He's always been a fighter. Yeah, he was like, I will beat the living shit out of you. And everybody was like, oh my God. And yeah, then his friend was like,

bro, we found it. And then he was like, nevermind. And just turned around and like went back to like, everything was normal. And those are my stories of him. I feel like there's one more that I'm like there. It doesn't involve Bryce, but it involves Bryce's house. The literal like weed panic attack you had.

Is that the one you're thinking of? Dude, yeah. We don't necessarily have to go into it, but this is literally when me and Drew say we, like, can't just, like, partake in, like, weed culture. Literally, like, imagine going through psychosis at this house that I'm describing. Like, literal nightmare. Like, actual, like...

I wish I could describe it. It's just like the weirdest environment I'd ever been in in my entire life. It literally is just like out of a fucking movie. It's out of a fucking TikTok. Like it literally looks like. It's a dream. It was a dream come true. We stole so many things from you. I think I stole forks, but that was really all I stole. I stole drunk goggles.

Oh, yeah, the drunk goggles. We had those forever. Yeah, they're still in Miami. Natalie has them. Literally. She pulled them out the other day and I was like, what the fuck? We weren't living in LA yet when we would drink with these parties. This was like pre-LA. Like we would come out for a little bit. Yeah, and then we moved here and we just like...

We're not, we're no longer in that scene. And I would love to get back into it because of stories like that. But like, I think at this point, everyone knows we're kind of trolls. Cause every time we like kind of tiptoe around these people, it's like, okay, they know. They know it's a, they know what I'm doing. There is a, oh my God, this is the story involving Bryce Hall party. He threw that fucking party on October on October.

uh, Halloween. And so like, we like, we had this, when we first moved to LA, we had this like group called the four local villains. It was just everyone. It was everyone. Um, in the squad like that, you know, Josiah, Lucas, Christian, all of us in, you know, Ryan, Josh, whatever. Um,

And we would do this thing called Four Loko Villains, which was, it was of course the purge. We would get four locos and just chug them and like literally become villains and like run the city for the night. Like Joker style, like just do whatever we could. This is my Joker arc. Like literally do as much bad shit as possible. Um, and I don't recommend it. It's very dangerous and evil. Also bad shit meaning like troll the fuck out of people. Yeah, troll, troll people. Not like actually do bad shit, whatever. Um,

But there was this house party that Bryce was hosting or his homie was hosting. It was basically Bryce's house party. They rented this Airbnb in this weird neighborhood. And we pull up.

It's immediately like a sinister vibe. Like it's immediately just like... Sinister. It's immediately just weird. I mean, it's not weird, but it's just like not a party. It's like a kickback with like 30 people. Because they also had gotten noise complaints by the time we got there. Yeah, so we pull up on Four Loko mode. Belligerent. Belligerently drunk and we're like, oh no, we need to turn this bitch up. So like we go in there like...

full-on energy and like start blasting music. I don't remember what song was playing. I don't remember either, but I do remember going in and like going to talk to someone who also I was like a raging cunt to and so mean to all the time because I found them really annoying and rude.

So I went to go troll them and like talk to them and I put my leg on a table next to me and knocked over that lamp. I was about to say like the lamp. So then literally Inya knocks over a lamp. It shatters all over the floor like and instead of just being normal people like and be like, oh, fuck, like, I'm sorry, we'll pay for this. Like we pull out our cameras and.

and start dancing in the glass and like stomping on it and turning it into sand again basically and like literally just like picking up shards of glass and like faking like we're stabbing each other and then like there's a tv on the wall that's like in place it like sunken into the wall and like i pull it off the wall a little bit and there's just like a pair of yeezys behind the tv and i take these pair of yeezys out and like i'm gonna steal these yeezys

And then the dude who like rented the house for the party or whatever, like, um...

like literally like comes up and he's like y'all need to get the fuck out of here now and we're like no like what do you mean and we're like no and he's like no get the fuck out of my house and we're like okay whatever so like we make a giant scene leaving like yeah we like make a huge scene like me and drew walk out but josh stays in and is talking to bryce and them and bryce and everyone's like cracking up and then they're eating it up because it's like literally the most fun the party had been yeah because it was dead in there um

And Josh gets them to chant like, fuck Enya. And they all start screaming, fuck Enya. And like, I'm like at the door, like hitting it. And then I finally get back in and the dude who's running the party, I'm like in the kitchen laughing with everyone. And we're watching the video and the dude who runs, who's like,

Meanwhile, I'm trapped outside. I'm trapped outside running up and down the street, literally doing the same thing I did at that really rich mansion like two weeks ago, telling like, do not go up there. They're having blood orgies. Like, Enya's inside having the time of her fucking life. Ha ha ha!

And yeah, it was also we don't do that anymore. No, that was like a that was our six months. That was that was like our magnum opus of four loco villain. I think that might have been the last like hurrah. Yeah. Hurrah for the villains. Yeah. Because it was it was taking a toll on us. And we started to get invited out. It was taking. Yeah. Now we sit around and we're like, why the fuck does no one invite us out?

And it's literally because we became the monsters of LA. Yeah, like we were the actual monsters of LA. I mean, we do get invited out and I think it's with the same ideology of like, oh, we are monsters. Like no one's inviting us to parties at this point being like, oh, they're social. They're social butterflies. It's literally like... Bringing the fucking clowns. Yeah, bringing the clowns, bringing the entertainment. These people will be belligerent and like funny to watch. And I'm okay with that. Like it's...

It's the moment we literally get all the attention in the world, all eyes on us. And that's all that really fucking matters at the end of the day is that if everybody's looking at you. I know, literally. I thrive off of attention and I'm okay with that. And I don't think it's something to be ashamed of. I think an intense need for attention actually makes you more interesting of a person. Those who are like okay with like being alone and like to themselves and isolated. Loser. Yeah, nerd. Me? Yeah.

I'm crazy. What do you read fucking books? I literally do read books. Oh, you're so smart. You're so smart and educated. No, I'm so smart. Bitch.

when it's done to me i'm like okay i know why it makes people angry dude there was a point in my life where like me chirping up on words and people pointing it out actually made me so insecure i knew it and you like brought it up and i stopped doing it to you but what i do is when people like stutter on their words or like slip up on their word i like finish the word for them and just like oh like schmo schmar like what do you mean by that you did it to

be like two days ago wait really yeah i can't remember what it is but like you did like oh oh what do you mean by that but i also did it to you like i think a day ago yeah it's just all in funny it's when a stranger does it to me is when i literally want to like disappear into nothingness because i'm like oh my god they think i'm stupid like i'm dumb as shit um but we never really touched on weed psychosis like we we briefly talked about it but like just like the absolute panic

and maybe this is something for another episode because it's a lot of stories, but just like the absolute, like just genuine fear that like anytime we smoked or anytime I smoke,

Used to be you. Yeah, that happens is just like really gnarly. I I think that would be like a good episode Let me know if you want to hear about our psychosis Yeah about our psychosis and scariness. Just let us know Transitioning from weed we can go to the Olympics and talk about the Olympics. Oh

That literally is a transition from them not letting, I'm blanking on her name, for not letting her play. And then literally those two other white motherfuckers just like got a congratulations from like New York Times because it was like they were Olympians who started like a cannabis thing. That's actually so insane that she didn't get to go.

it's wrong in every sense of the word it's evil it's pure evil that's not what i was talking about oh i i literally thought i was like damn that is like a good transition you just made i was like genuinely so you i mean it popped into my brain but i wasn't gonna go there but literally perfect transition it is wrong in every sense of the word and i think um the olympics she'll have her time to shine no she's literally the most athletic person i've ever seen in my fucking life like she literally will be there next year i

I literally we were watching running the other day and you and Josh being like oh I could do that No, we weren't saying that we were not saying that we could do that We were saying that like like how fast I could run a 100 meter - I think who's saying bolt or has like a nine? Nine nine sub 10 second world record and I was like, oh like I bet I could run it in 16 seconds which like actually doesn't sound that insane because like I

running is like exponentially like shaving off a second and running is like a lot harder to do than like any other sport i don't know that's what i was saying i guess i just also like i'm like how again that's just my stupidity it's officially 101 in here it doesn't it doesn't display 100 it it just goes back down yeah um

He's so stupid. But I think that's my small brain showing again because I'm like, I don't understand like what 100 like meters is. It's like on a track. It's the first segment, like the straightaway segment. Oh. And then 200 is a curve. I don't know if I'm a fast runner. I think you could. You could do it sub 20 easily. Maybe we should go to it.

She's a runner. She's a track star. She gonna run away when it gets hard. But the Olympics in general were literally so insane to me. Yesterday at lunch, I had the realization like that was not me just saying something out loud. That was a genuine realization I had. I was like,

Oh my God. There are people who literally train their whole lives to be in the Olympics. Yeah. Like there are people who from the age of like fucking eight to 14 are like, no, I, that's my dream. I want to be in the Olympics. Do you know what I found out that some countries pay for gold medals? Like they pay you for gold medals. Like I think the payout for like a United States win gold medal win is like, I think it's like $40,000 per gold medal.

Which is like fucking crazy, which like makes sense why some of these fuckers are training their whole life. Like, I mean, like if I had to train for anything in the Olympics, it would be sharpshooting because you could literally just be

You could just shoot. Like, you don't have to be fit. No, I wouldn't like, yeah. Because I guess that doesn't take like physical training. I don't know what I would do. I actually, as a kid, I've told you this before, but I don't know if I've ever said it online. I really wanted to be a gymnast because of the movie Stick It. Like, I wanted to do gymnastics so fucking bad. And I remember before we went fully broke and couldn't turn on the lights in my house when I was very young. I was like, please, please, please. Can I like do gymnastics? And my parents were like, no.

Yes, of course you can. Bitch, tell me why the fuck we went shopping and they're putting a little leotard on me, but it's like pink and fuzzy. And I was like, no, I was like, okay, this doesn't look exactly like what I was imagining. I was like thinking something like red with like a stripe and like something else. But you know, I'll take this. And then I show up to class.

Bitch, why the fuck am I in ballet right now? No. I didn't want to do fucking ballet. And I remember I was so pissed and I would like, Sophia was in the class. They put Sophia in the class with me. I think that's why they put me in ballet so we could do something together because I guess. Also, it is kind of like a rite of passage for little girls, like some little girls. I was like, I want

I don't want to start doing backflips, bitch. Like, I don't want to do this. I was so mad. I want to swing from the bars. I wanted to do that so bad. I literally like would daydream about like fucking putting chalk on my hand and like running around. Stop in slow motion. Yes. I wanted it so bad.

And I was so mad about ballet. And I have a very distinct memory of one time me sneaking out of class with Sophia and, like, dragging her along with me and just, like, putting pillows down on the floor and, like, jumping over them and, like, doing my own little, like, thing in there. And, yeah, and then I lost all ambition for life and lost for life. And we couldn't afford that kind of stuff anymore. Lost for life. Lost for life. But basically...

What I wanted to say about the Olympics is, like, it actually is fucking hilarious to me how, like, we've literally been doing this since, like, the dawn of, like, human consciousness. It's the most, like, human shit ever. It's so primal. Like, we literally, like, since the Coliseum, we've just been, like, fucking, like... Flipping around and running around. Flipping around, like, running and, like, chanting for our country, like...

That shit's so funny. Like really think about it. Like we've been like we're just so human, you know? Like the Olympics is the most human shit ever. It really is like so like primal like animal like animal instinct to be like competition. Run! Yeah. Jump! Like I'm better than you and I'm gonna prove that I'm better than you and I'm the best in the world. And like then I watch it and like my animal brain turns on and I eat that shit up every fucking time. Like no matter the event, I'm like, yes! Like go! Like win! Like

Like, no matter... And it's also, like, whoever wins. I'm like, you... You won! I knew you were gonna win that shit. That's your worst... I mean, you're like, oh, no, I knew it. No, I knew it. I was thinking about that already. Like, I knew it. No, no. I know. That's a huge insecurity of mine. And every time I say it, I'm like, why did I say that? But I literally do. I literally do think it. And then before, I just don't say it. And then you say it. Or someone else says it. Between us...

It makes sense. Like, cause I feel like we see the same thing all the time and we're always ingesting the same thing. So we, and we are very like in sync. Yeah. It's like when girls period sync up, but your private parts syncs with mine. See, I'm getting aired out. I'm getting aired out right now because I know everyone makes fun of me about it. No, I'm sorry. It's okay because it's just my little quirk. It's just who I am. No, no one talks about it, but it's just so funny because you be like, that's every time like,

Like it's mainly in like competition things. You're like, I fucking knew it. No, I say it at literally everything. My dad says that too all the time. I was like, I was just about to say that. I swear I was going to say that. When Dante showed up to Miami to surprise my dad, my dad was like, I knew it. Like I knew it. Like, and he talked about it all night. He was like, no, y'all think I'm joking, but like, I knew it. And we were like, okay. And he was like, no, I like, why do you think I showed up here? Like I knew it. And like, we'd be talking about something else and he'd be like, let me tell you something I like knew.

Literally, it's a pride thing. I think it stems down to pride and I'm like, I wish I said that. Or like a jealousy thing because everybody got a laugh from it and I'm like, I wish I said that because I did know that and I did say that. Well, you are intelligent and amazing and you should just start speaking your mind. I do know a little about it. But you know what's the problem is because your dumb little ass lets things like balls in my mouth come out instead of other things. Instead of saying...

I'm saying like the intellectual thoughts you have, you're like, balls in my mouth. Because it's way better. It's way better. Balls in my mouth. I almost said that. No one wants another smart person. Everybody wants a clown. That was deep. That was deep. Literally me when I show up to the party. When I show up to a party that I'm invited to, I'm like, they didn't want another hot girl. They wanted a silly girl.

Someone made a TikTok that really struck a nerve with me and they were like, I used to in life be like, I'm not the hottest girl, but I'm the funniest girl. And then I get on this app and I see the hottest, funniest people in the world. And I'm like, oh, so there's combo. Choose one. Choose one. There's literally combo meals out there running around. And here I am. You can't be both funny and hot. It's not fair. It's not. Yeah, I know. I mean, honestly, look at us. Like we're both funny and hot. Don't fucking touch me. We're both funny and hot.

consider myself like pretty and like when I put all my driving force into it, I could be hot. Yeah, I agree. And for me... You agree? Yeah, I think you're a hot person. Okay. And I want to bed you. And for me...

Everyone calling me hot has done absolutely nothing for me. I thought it would be good for me. I thought I'd be like, oh, finally, like I am attractive. But no, like I still think I'm the ugliest person in the world. Well, now it just sets an expectation. The best thing to ever happen to me was Josh's vlogs and seeing how fucking ugly I can look on camera. And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, I don't have to be hot all the time. Like I am a person. Yeah. And I was like, that was a very humbling and like grounding experience. Because before that, all the content of me was like stuff I had filmed. Yeah.

Perfect angles. Yeah, like perfect lighting. And then like there's specifically one clip of me in one of Josh's vlogs. I was like, I am just a person, huh? I'm just a simple human. I was like, that's okay. I'm not Carly Jenner. Oh, I am for sure no Carly Jenner. But I'm silly. Who's Carly Jenner? I'm a silly Billy. Who the fuck is Carly Jenner? Your mom, bitch.

There's no one named Carly Jenner and my mom's name is not Carly Jenner. I'm really confused by this and it's starting to irk me. You're so fucking stupid. Who the fuck is Carly Jenner? Shut up. No, your credit score. I had to update. My credit score is awesome. It's back to normal. Yes, it is. And I just want to say that it's further proof that that shit is not fucking real. And guess what? To get it back to normal, I didn't pay my goddamn gynecologist bill and I'm not going to pay it.

that's a lot i really need a pap smear someone did leave i'll do it someone did leave a comment i'll do it for free someone did leave a comment that was like medical bills don't affect credit scores and i was like is that true i didn't go so it was the gas bill we paid the gas bill finally the gas bill oh my god we paid the gas bill i know but we already have one loaded up we're already back on our bullshit we're already back in our bullshit we're backed around on we could just wait another year

I'm down. I'm down. But also, something that we took a note of that we didn't talk about is just knowing a little about a lot. I don't need to know a lot about anything. I can know a little about everything. The thing is, with...

I don't know if it's like the attention problem in my brain. I don't know what it is, but when people ask me about things, I have no idea what they're talking about. And then if they show me a photo or they show me the thing they're talking about, I'm like, Oh my God, I literally love that. Like, Oh my, like, so then for the most part, I sound really stupid. Cause someone will mention something to me that I know about and have spoken about. And I'm like, in that moment, my brain is like, Oh, it's, it's literally the scene in Spongebob going through all my files. And like what it's pulling up is like not matching. It's burning. Um,

I don't know anything about anything and that's okay. That's what I tell everyone because that builds the standard. It's like what I did in school with having like really shitty grades so that when I pull up with a C, you're like, okay, you're working. I had a 4.2 GPA when I got out of school. I'm not kidding. I think I had like a 2.8. Yeah. I was a genius in high school. Sorry. Sorry about it. Sorry about it. I was just sexy.

Personally. Like, I was popular and sexy and you were a nerd and a loser? No, I was a popular loner. Weird. I was a popular loner. No, we literally both describe ourselves like that. It's so fucking annoying. I'm like, everyone knew, like, who I was, but, like, didn't know me. Like, actually, though, like, I was friends with everybody, but, like, I didn't really fit in with the jocks. I didn't fit in with, like, the, like, popular kids. Like...

same but you could dabble with them if like if you were in a room with them it was like oh yeah i can hang here yeah but i was literally people knew who i was because i was a needle in a haystack i was like white girl blue hair like yeah everyone's fucking seen that idiot walking down the hallway it's like i literally i was begging for attention with my hair colors i was literally like blue today pink tomorrow ramona flowers everyone knew who i was because of the way i dressed

Oh, because you looked like shit. I looked like absolute shit. Like there are some fits that I threw in high school that I was like, boy, what the fuck were you thinking? Like I wore overall. You showed up to school looking bummed. I literally looked bummy as fuck sometimes. No, it was serving. I just never wore uniform and I always wore the same like black skinny jeans with like a random graphic tee. And then I would get yelled at and told to go change and I wouldn't change. And what I would do was put on a hoodie and I had collars.

a collar from one of my like uniform t-shirts and I would wear it like a necklace. So it looked like I had a uniform shirt under it. And I would do it with graphic t-shirts too. I would just like wear the collar there and I'd be like, I am wearing a uniform under this. And they'd be like, take it off. And I'm like, I can't.

Or I would wear a hoodie with only a bra under it and they'd be like, you need to take that off. And I'd be like, I literally can't because I'm naked. So... Do you want to see me naked? Weird. Because I'll file a lawsuit right now. I'm suing. Literally, that's like some of the most creative shit I've ever heard. When I saw you do that collar thing, I was literally blown away. I was like, you're a genius. Like everything you do is magical. Yeah, they don't make enough people like me in our lifetime. No, literally. Like you're a one in a million. You're a one in a billion.

You're a one in seven billion. They don't make enough people like me in a lifetime. The only creative shit I ever did as a kid when I was like, oh, like, I'm the smartest person alive is we would have these field days at the end of every semester. Or no, maybe it was at the end of the year where, like, it was no class. It was just, like, running around, like, doing... It was basically the Olympics for, like, school. And, like...

You could like buy sodas from concession stand. You could buy candy, like all that shit. And it was just during the school day. And me and my friends were like, oh, like we're about to tear this shit up. So we like...

bought all of the sodas i'd like put like 50 down we bought all of the sodas and they were one dollar each and i spent 50 on sodas and i bought 50 sodas and like there were no more sodas so it's like supply and demand mind you i'm like young as shit like i didn't know what any of this meant so you were scamming i was entrepreneuring um and i bought all of the sodas

and flipped them for two dollars and i started making my money back i made like maybe 30 bucks selling sodas because no one could buy sodas and so i was the only person selling sodas so they had to buy them for two dollars and then my principal caught on and took all of the sodas all of the money made and the fifty dollars i put down okay now that stole from me they stole all of my shit i was gonna say you should have told your parents but your parents would have been like bitch what the fuck are you doing at school they're like you're literally like

breaking the law. I just realized the reason I favor Papa John's is because in my K-8 school, on Wednesdays, they would sell a slice of Papa John's for a dollar after school. And then you could go, oh my God, this fucking meal was immaculate. You would go, you would get a pickled egg or a hot sausage. A hot sausage was a dollar though. A pickled egg was 50 cents. So like you had to ration. And I would like, on my good days, have $2 and I would get a fucking slice of cheese pizza, a pickled egg, and like,

I think it was Faygo sodas. Like, they were in cans. Yeah. And, like, I would get the fucking grape flavor. Oh, my God. A grape-flavored soda. Papa John's, pickled egg. Smush the egg up. Bite a hole in the end. You lose me on the egg. And you use your teeth. You, like...

You lose me. I literally stop because I'm going to fucking order those eggs right now. I'll try them on the next podcast, but like you lose me every time on the pickled egg. Like, I'm sorry. Like if you are from, I think it's like an East coast thing, like not even just a South thing, but like, especially from Florida or Miami, those like pink ass pickled eggs, pickled eggs are so fucking good. Something about them are delectable, but hot sausages were a dangerous game. We all knew as kids, we were like, don't leave it out in the sun because like maggots will start

crawling out of it. And like that was like I don't know if it was a myth or it was like a true legend but I would still fuck up a fucking hot sausage. Oh my god. Getting a pickled egg and a pickled sausage and like putting it in the same bag and smushing it up. That. See I would be down to try that. Pickled eggs are kind of like tubby custard because in color and texture. And um back to Papa John's like I used to fucking hate Papa John's

But you literally changed my life. Papa John's is so good. You changed my life because now it's the only pizza I will eat. It's the only fast food pizza ever. I was also having this conversation. I don't do pizza. Like someone was like, what's a good place to get pizza? And I was like, what the fuck?

are you talking about i don't go out of my way to go get pizza if i'm going to a restaurant i want real food like literally get papa john's like a normal fucking person yeah and i called pizza like an american thing and someone was like it's italian and i'm like okay but like that's americanized to me like pizza and burgers that is fast food like i am not i'm not spending good money i'm not going to a restaurant and buying a burger like you're a monster yeah what like you want to if you want to like

eat something nasty like a burger. Yeah, you go to McDonald's where they do it right. Yeah. And it's not... Exactly. Oh my fucking God. There's the two cheeseburgers with the little onions on it is literally the best food I've ever put into my body. I will... I am a stand for McDonald's. I will ride for them until the day I fucking die. I will like a McChicken...

Do you remember on Wednesdays when they would do like the 50 cent burgers? They used to do that and that was like my dad would buy us like burgers every Wednesday because it was literally 50 cents to feed your child, which is such a steal. They need to bring that back. Girl, they're putting deer ankles in those burgers for 50 cents. The deer ankle Wendy's chicken nuggets.

No, it's literally fucking mud pies. Like, it's not real meat. They literally go out to the cows and they skip the cows. And you're like, you know what? We're just going to get the fucking shit pies. And they scoop them up and put them on a patty. But they were so good. But the only thing was the 50 cent, like, deal, I don't think covered McChickens. And McChickens is where it's at. Like, a nice, like, mayonnaise covered lettuce McChickens. No, because what are they putting in the McChickens? They are putting the bird pussy in the McChickens. I swear to God. The pussy part of the bird. What?

I swear to God because them shits- No, it's definitely the titties cuz it's like- Yeah. It's like nice and like- It's the pussy part of it. It's the thrissy, the throat- I saw people saying I like can't have a bussy like- I know all the comments were like nope and I'm right and you're wrong. Okay fine, I can't have a bussy but I do have a thrissy. You are the throat goat. Like you are the throat goat. Drew would know. Um... Let's get into media I guess.

But yeah, the 50 cent burgers were so good. And McChickens are awesome. Dude, the fucking vagina sandwiches from McDonald's. I love those. Like, what is wrong with you? Okay. You want to go? Yes. So my songs of the week are Mad Lucas by The Breeders and Driving Online by The Breeders. And then...

Ho Problems by JT Money. I'm pretty sure. Let me make sure. Yeah, by JT Money. And then Breakout by N.E.R.D. Those are the four songs I'm willing to give. I'm like, that I'm willing to give to you. Literally three of the most popular songs of all time. Okay, well, my songs are Odeo featuring Drake.

Romeo Santos. Drew's not kidding. I've actually gotten PTSD and woken up on a Sunday in my fucking LA home. And it's Drew shirtless wiping the walls down listening to Odio. I was so shocked. Literally, that shit turns me up in a way I cannot describe. Then I've been listening to Watermelon Hero by Tisha Korean. Literally the best song ever. Thank you.

and you want to cut um and then i'm just gonna say it i'm on my is it by chata yeah it is i well i don't baby dude i'm not kidding hearing that song the other day in the car i hadn't heard it in so long and it's so good you like that that was crazy um but yeah those are my three songs

I don't have any book recommendations. I don't have any actually I'm still watching Better Call Saul especially since they're filming the new season I'm like I gotta get through this. I literally still love Mike and Saul and I'll have sex with both of them. Oh, I actually I don't know what Mike is looking like nowadays because he was already pushing it. He was already pushing it in 2008. Yeah, I haven't consumed any like I'm gonna consume you.

I haven't consumed I don't think I've consumed any shows that I was like oh I need to talk about this or like books even I'm trying to think of anything we've watched A New Earth I've been I'm rereading for the third time I love that book we've been watching Sexy Beasts

oh that show is unreal on netflix that's actually such a good show i love it it's like the mass singer which like okay mass singer when it first came out even for like five years i was like fuck this show we are going in a very dark direction i hate everything about like like mainstream media right now like this is actually evil yeah um and made by the devil um i watched a few of the episodes and i was like oh my god this is like literally so tailored for like

my human monkey brain it literally hits every spot in your brain like it does everything right and i watched like 30 episodes with my mom in one night i remember it's the same concept literally while you were doing that i was back in la and randomly without speaking about it i also binge watched all the reveals on youtube for some reason and i was like

even though i had to rock i was like what the hell t-pain was under there um but yeah and that's our media of the week that's our episode of the week come back next week we'll be here for the rest of time or maybe one day you'll come and look at us and we're in a big fancy studio and you'll think to yourself where did where'd all the time go i want that edit in six months when we have our studio if we get there also stop

Stop being surprised that every week there's an episode. That's what a podcast is. Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess it's surprising for us. Damn. Three videos in a month. I'm like, come on, guys. Like, why are you acting like this is a shocker? Yeah. I'm like, stop being surprised. This is what a podcast is. As if the last podcast didn't die. Yeah. Also, I'm in my fisherman core. Okay, girl. Bye. My fisherman era. We'll see you next week.

Oh, he's stinky!