big things anniversary
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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon, spend less, smile more. - Oh, welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom. As you can see, we got a doozy today.

It just like, it looks stupid. You have to admit. Like, look at me. Look at me. Bro, can you be happy about anything? I know you wanted to do something cool for like the anniversary, but I was thinking like fireworks or like confetti or maybe a cake. A good cake would have been fun. Bro, you don't like any of my ideas for real. I think it's a good idea for you. No, you look stupid. I look skinny. I look skinny. Not stupid. You look stupid.

Okay, you know what? No, I said I don't want to do this. No, I want to get put down. Someone just put me down, please. Like, hello? Oh my god. Can someone fucking help her? Like, damn. Like, help her, y'all. Alright, y'all are all fired. Y'all are done. Who threw that bottle, by the way? Um, what are we supposed to do? I'm trapped up here.

Anya, are you okay? I think I might have a heart attack. Oh my god. Anya, are you okay? Okay, like, bruh. Wait. Yeah. That was... That was really intense, actually. Like, are you okay? You threw a fucking bottle at me. Like, why are you acting like you care? Because you called me stupid.

I fell through a wooden table. And you might have deserved that. You might have deserved that, honestly. I don't know. I don't think that's a karmic thing. I don't think people falling through tables is like, oh, that's karma. That's what you get. You did something bad. And I didn't do anything bad. We looked dumb. You look dumb. I don't know why you're still fucking up there. I mean, we paid for a full day. So I'm going to use it to the...

furthest extent I possibly can. And I'm going to float here the whole episode. You like before you looked kind of dumb and now you look really stupid. I feel like I look cool actually. You're like 50 seconds. It's giving you a huge ass from the back. Well, I guess we'll just get into the episode and we'll just act like

Drew is uploading. Nothing weird is happening. Doing all that made me forget that we have a full episode to do and it's an anniversary episode. We've been doing this for three years now, which is...

So scary. Happy anniversary, guys. There's so much. All I can think when we get this far, every time we hit a mark, is the fact that, like, I feel like we've been doing this forever, but there's some people who are on their, like, 300th, like, thousandth episode. Yeah, like, crazy vibes. And remember in the beginning when we were like, yeah, we're probably only going to do it for, like, a year and, like, give up then, but...

The validation is just too rewarding. Wait, am I giving Kevin Gates? It's fine. I came with a ding, ding. I really want to make an edit of Drew doing all the emotes like that. I wish I could swing you around. Oh, do we have a stick? I should hit him like a pinata or something. No, no, no. No, please no. Oh, we do have a stick. No. Well, I only have one arm right now. I did break my wrist. Oh, this is perfect. Please no. Please no.

Can y'all let me down? I'm scared. Say, say don't, please. Say please don't, you're so gorgeous, I love you. Please don't, you're so gorgeous, I love you. Ow, ow, ow. I don't want to hit you too hard. I don't want you to swing.

- We'll add sound effects in there. - This is the manifestation of the gay little monkey pinata that somebody did. - No, literally. - I don't know if we ever talked about that on the episode, did we? - I don't think so, but before we get into that, y'all, I just wanna say that this, what I'm doing now, has been an idea that I've had for, since the genesis of the podcast. - It actually is. - I've like literally wanted to just float here the whole time and then,

In the original idea, I wasn't going to address it at all. But like being here, I'm like, I actually have to like this is so ridiculous. It's just so ridiculous because you're either sitting on a chair that looks like it's made of pure carcinogens. It's like water dripping. We're cooked. We're cooked. We broke the ceiling of the studio. Yeah. Well, I have to look at my notes because now I'm so like discombobulated at the fact that we have. Yeah, me too. Can you hand me my phone?

Why wouldn't you bring your fucking phone up there? Where am I going to put my phone? In a pocket. You have pockets still. My big ass. My big butt. In your big butt. Wait, take a picture of my butt. Is this for your app? Merch coming soon. Oh, wait.

- I got some Drew themed birthday party. - Shut up bro. - Wait, it's actually really good. Also, if you notice that there's like a, like you might be like, oh my God, although the beginning of the episode was so hectic and terrifying because you saw me get hurt, you might be like, there's a calming presence right now. And it's because Kai isn't here. - Oh yeah, yeah, sorry. - Yeah, Kai isn't here. So we just like had to make sure he wasn't here to ruin the vibes of the three year anniversary.

So if you're wondering why he's not here, that's why. We were just like, you need to stay home. Why have we normalized people doing live streams wearing that VR shit? Do you know what I'm talking about? Have you seen that on TikTok? Like the VTubers? Like this? Yeah.

Like the overly sexy people. No, I haven't. Girl, why do you have that? Okay, I don't know why. This is all over my timeline. All I ever get is like people who are dressed like in sexy avatar characters doing a virtual live. And there's always like 400 to like a thousand people in there interacting with the person as if it's fully normal. Have you seen VTubers? I think I've seen streamers who use like avatars. Yeah, like avatars. Yeah.

But there are there VTubers who like they do like a day in my life. They're like the most famous people on this planet, like doing like proper tours with like you've seen the video of them, like all the girls like screaming like about like the VTuber like that just showed up on the big screen in front of them and like he's like singing.

No, I haven't seen that. Oh, let me find that. Because it's like really, really like dystopian and advanced. I mean, it's crazy because we're the same generation to make fun of the old people who are on Facebook and seeing the weird AI generated photos of Jesus like parting the sea. And we're making fun of old people. It's like a game. It's like a game.

Wait, is that someone performing or is it like a pre-recorded thing? I don't know still. I think it's someone actually performing behind the stage, but they just like haven't like revealed themselves. Reveal yourself. They haven't had a dream face reveal? Yeah. Dude, the dream face reveal will go down in time as like the most fucked up shit ever. One of the worst like things that we've ever done as a society. Like the thing is, I wonder if because he got so many like

I'm trying to find my words correctly right now because I don't want to sit on this podcast and be like, that motherfucker's ugly. Or float on the podcast. Like you're sitting, I'm floating. You're so jealous of me right now. Actually, it's crazy. You wish you were. I feel like you don't know what to do with your legs. I know. I'm like kicking around.

um but like it must have been so fucked up because everybody without seeing his face was like oh my god he's so sexy like his aura is so sexy and then when he revealed his face i know he thought he was gonna get like double the praise what's sad too is like like preparation for that for him was really intense and like photos of him had leaked before and like he was able to like

like real in the rumors, but like those photos were him and he thought he was going to like eat down. But like, yeah, that's not to say,

um well i decided that having quadruplets must mean that you did something fucking evil in your past having anything above twins twins already oh my god twins already feels like a curse no offense drew um but quadruplets that sounds like something that shouldn't fucking exist and also the fact that because can't people hello drew i don't think the uh blood's getting to my brain

I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking.

But yeah, can you go up to having six tuplets? Is that what it's called? Some people have had octuplets. Do you remember Octomom? Hell fucking no. She gave birth like a fucking dog. She was shitting those babies out of her butthole and vagina. I swear to God. Would you have that many babies if they had to be a C-section? I think she did it naturally. Hell the fuck no. Those babies also all survived. I watched like a day in the life like...

Like doing anything like casually just doesn't work. Like it just doesn't work. But I saw also these lights. You're freaking out. I'm so sweaty. But no, I saw like a updated like what are they up to now vibe. And she's just like a normal mom but like has like a hundred babies running around her house. Do they all look the same or are they fraternal? No, they're fraternal I think. Yeah, they're fraternal.

Cause having more than, Oh my God. Twins and like the fucking stone age, you probably got stoned to death because it was seen like crazy. That's demonic. It's fully demonic. To have twins was definitely stoned to death because they thought she was a witch. Like that is so insane to have more than one baby. Cause in my head already, we were at,

um a hotel once all together and we were all watching birthing videos and it was freaking me the out and the fact that some people go through with having like upwards of four to six babies at once like

Sounds like a nightmare sounds like a curse sounds like you did something evil in your past life to have that many babies But then what's fucked up is some people literally like that happen. I want twins. I want twins Like having a twin growing up was literally like the greatest childhood I could ever imagine like we were just like best friends We still are best friends and we're planning a road trip together right now like if everybody else in my life just like dropped dead or just like decided to all hate me at once like we are so connected that like that's the tea like

that's literally the tea i wonder if there's definitely twins out there who fucking hate each other oh a hundred percent i know some because my mom was in this thing called mothers of multiples where like all of the twins in my hometown like the mothers would all get together and like get fucked up and then put all the twins in a room to just like play together and uh there were a couple that fucking like hated hated hated each other each other oh i just said the safe word

- What? - I said mothers of multiples, like moms, like 10 times. I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. The safe word is mother or mom, mom, mom, mom. - Mom, we were trying to find a word that we wouldn't say, but everything we said felt like something we would just say. - I said like yellow, like girl, what am I on about?

I guess yellow would make sense because it's not something we would naturally say. But yeah, if you are going to give birth to triplets and you just so happen to be watching this, I feel scared for you. And I'm sure you're scared because the idea of having three infants in a house, like hell the fuck no. I'm literally low-key abandoning those babies if I had fucking twins. Should I do psyop and then get down? Yeah. Okay. Mama, give me phone. Give me phone. Help me. Help me. Okay.

Drew's Psyop Corner, eh? Liberal rap artist, 21 pronouns, Kanye West, MTF Doom, Jinder Rick Lamar, and Tyler the Creator. Ha ha!

That's good. When it starts raining in NYC, all the people wearing sheens start smelling like Chernobyl. Prized pony. People don't take selfies. Oh, wait. People, please stop taking selfies in your bed. Your pillow looks like a used teabag.

That's literally you for like three years of living here. Like horrible. I know paper. Oh, this is a good one. I know the paper towels in the kitchen hate seeing me coming. I know they hate me like stomping in there to rip them to shreds. Oh, wait. Have we said this one before? The misogynistic one? Maybe, but you go again. You say it. You say it. Oh, my God. You do a couple in your psyop corner.

This one just doesn't feel like me. Like, I wouldn't say this one. Misogynistic. How about you start massaging this dick? Like, I wouldn't. That doesn't make sense for me to say. Grape soda doesn't even taste like grapes, but it sure as hell tastes like purple.

Please don't play me any more shoegaze. I've heard enough. Play me a child's laughter or running water in a creek. I want to hear life blossoming around me in all corners. I want to be overwhelmed with childlike awe and wonder towards the world. Like dead serious. If I hear any more shoegaze, I'm going to freak the fuck out. This one's real. If your head gang weak, I'm peeing in your mouth. That's a good one. This charger from Dollar Tree changed my phone number.

Yeah, when I was when I saw that I literally was like, oh my god Like that would happen. I treat my relationships like math once i'm confused. I attempt suicide I thought sleeping naked was cute until loretta licked my clit, bro. That's gross Oh, bro, those eight what are you talking about? You want your phone back or what? Do you want to get down? Yeah, i'm ready I'm ready

drew had to get down because he's a pussy oh my little bitch bitch made spread the rumors drew's bitch made no i'm boner made anyways um so somebody threw a drew themed birthday party we need more of that we need more of that kind of community building to keep the podcast afloat um just like the amount of times we were tagged in slash if you look at the comments all of it is like

It's crazy. Oh wait, on the video it said Drew King. Yeah, on the video. It was like literally a Drew dedicated video. We'll insert it. We'll insert it now. There's that. There's like a bunch of good videos of you recently. The AI. I tried to change. I was actually having so much FOMO from that party. Like I was so jealous. It was so fire and...

I made a very, very funny TikTok with Rain. I never posted it, but I might still post it. Oh, no. I literally showed it to everybody. And everybody laughed even. The stiff video just kills me. Did you mean to be that stiff? Yeah, yeah. Okay. It was supposed to be me and Rain. We put the chokers on and then we got nonchalant and really emo. So we were acting emo, but I just...

went stiff but i look like strong as fuck like i look big in that video like my chest my have you ever thought of just doing steroids like why don't you i actually unironically have i want to get on sarms i want to get on a trend protocol um human growth hormone trt like whatever like someone pass me the good shit send me to a dealer like i'm gonna get big and strong for y'all i actually knew someone in high school who was on steroids

Really? Yeah. In high school? Yes, in high school. He was like on the football team and he was like actively on steroids and it did give him a growth issue. I don't think they got drug tested. Damn. That's crazy. As far as I know, he was like literally on it and we were kind of close. Kids in my school, like my brother, so my mom, like,

In my school, like, we got drug tested all the fucking time for literally no reason. And, like, most of the time, like... Is that legal? Yeah. Like, we sign, like, waivers and consents. Like, if you're in athletics, you get drug tested. So you're... Girl, what fucking... It was just... What were you in? It was... And it was also, like, starting in, like, seventh grade. It was crazy. But... My...

basically how it would go is like if they had an inkling that a kid was using drugs, they couldn't just target that kid. So they would just like bring in a bunch of other people to like test around him just so he felt like he wasn't being targeted. And it was kind of like a, like a little like method or whatever. Um,

But my brother got called in one time and this was in seventh grade. And my, my brother like suffers from really, really, really intense migraines, like debilitating migraines. So, um, what he did was, um,

Like he would take Advil, it wouldn't work. He would skip school and like be in a dark room for days and days and days and it just wouldn't work. So my mom like gave him like a quarter of a hydrocodone pill, like a codeine pill to like help him. He didn't feel it or anything, but it was just to like alleviate his pain because he was like literally sobbing like it was debilitating.

And then like two days later, he got drug tested at school and the school called my mom freaking the fuck out. They were like, why is your seventh grader like taking opiates? Like what the fuck is going on? And she was like, oh,

that was me i gave it to him i know and i'm aware and da da da da but yeah they like freaked out they were like oh yeah i don't think they drug tested at our school we i never had that i wonder a lot of people would have been in trouble a lot of people would have been in trouble yeah like with weed and shit too like they would test for weed and like no we had drug dogs but we didn't get tested

Yeah. My biggest fucking fear was like someone sneaking weed into my bag. Like when the drug dogs came and I got caught and like me not being able to like the cameras not being able to see it. Like I mentioned that all the time. I mentioned that. And I mentioned stabbing. I'm I, I would rather die than get stabbed. Well, in like 10th or 11th grade, this girl I knew got into, she got rushed at school. Um,

You know what that is, right? Bama Rush, yeah, of course. No, I know what I mean. Okay, she got rushed at school and she had her backpack on and at my school, if you got into a fight, they would check your things. They would like look through your bag and shit. Oh, she was carrying the gun, right? Yeah, she was carrying the gun. Yeah, we've talked. Everything I say, I've said already. But...

Y'all have no idea how good it feels to be sponsored by SeatGeek. I feel accepted. I feel loved. We bought our Beyonce tickets on SeatGeek. I love concerts. And that's my biggest brag of all time is the price that we got those fucking freaking Beyonce tickets for. Ridonkulous. Wouldn't have happened without. And I paid full price. We paid full price for those. But we got them like an hour before the show. Long story. I love SeatGeek. If you know anything, you know that I...

Andrew, like, are avid concert goers. I think going to concerts does something for your brain that is so necessary. We were just talking about dancing and dopamine. Yeah, literally dancing and enjoying live music I think is so good for your brain. And SeatGeek makes it so easy to just look up any artist that you're interested in. Sometimes I literally just sit in bed and I peruse around, like, venues, cities, like, artists. Like, I will literally just go through the list to see what's around. And...

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You hear my stomach? I'm hungry. I'm a hungry boy. But yeah, it's not just concerts. Concerts are just my thing. I just wouldn't be caught at a sports event. But you know. I'll convince you one. That's me. That's just me. But yeah, any artists you're interested in. If it's like a Charlie XCX, a Sabrina Carpenter, a Chapel Rome. Please, please, please go on tour. Please, please, please. I want to see you live. Anybody you can imagine under the sun is on there.

So take out your phone, open the SeatGeek app and add... Oh wow, you're speaking over me. So... I'm gonna put you the fuck up.

So take out your phone, open the SeatGeek app, and add code INTOCOM10 to your account. What are you waiting for? Do it now because this offer is only available for a limited time. And you know what's awesome? I'm going to use this code because there are a few concerts I want to go to. Dead serious. So I'm literally going to use this code like actually for real. So thank you, SeatGeek. I will be using my own code. Literally hoard all of your tickets using this code.

I know, I'm going to force all my friends to buy me tickets with the code. What's up, everybody? Today's episode is brought to you by Seed. It's summertime. Everybody's talking about, oh, you need to do this, you need to do that. Life can be very simple. All you need is Seed. You need to just plant your seed, like for real. Like, let me plant my seed everywhere. Like, I can't stop just like planting my seed. Seed. Seed.

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at seed.com slash intercom code 25 intercom. Oh my God. Okay. I have a new theory.

or not theory i've already talked about this like a few episodes ago but i keep falling on a side of tiktok where it's just people being fucking batshit crazy and it was freaking me out yesterday somebody posted a video of the moon and there was like a light trail behind it and they were like see the leftover rays from the sun because the sun is planted and they were fully convinced that the sun was a hoax and that the sun isn't real the moon isn't real and that they prop it up they think the government

You know about the firmament? No. The firmament. You're trying to manipulate me. You're trying to manipulate me into believing the firmament. No, it's flat earth. Basically, they're like, we're not on a sphere, so there's a sun in the sky. And it just rotates inwards.

inside of a dome like it where in the firmament is like a dome over earth if you are a flat earther just admit you want to be different so fucking bad like if you want to be that different go like like idm music or something you have a personality disorder different at this point like there i guess there is no other option i don't know start a fucking etsy shop and sell mugs or something like do anything mugsy bogues but

all of the comments were so crazy and it was pissing me off because it was all older people who were like 50 something and I'm like damn this is just sad to me because your childlike wonder has fully withered away and now instead of just looking at the moon and being like caveman brain down and being like wow the moon the moon is so amazing and far away but I can see it like something about this is so magical you're looking at it and you're convinced the government is propping that shit up at night like we're too self-aware now

Like, that's crazy. And the internet just promotes, like, these dark recesses of the internet that, like...

are just communities of people like feeding into each other's delusions like it's really really insane if one of my home girls told me she thought the moon was fake i would 51 50 immediately i'm like immediately you were being well i don't i don't think that i don't think the moon is fake like i don't think that well you're a lost cause and i don't think you are fully a lost cause i don't think i just said i don't believe it bro i feel like you do

I could see you being like 50 something and becoming like a flat earther. No, it's definitely in my cards. Like winning the lottery and becoming a flat earther are two things that will definitely happen in my life. Drew recently with his whole chest set to somebody was like, it's going to be so sad actually the day I do win the lottery because I will have nothing else to look forward to. Yeah, like it's real y'all. Like,

dead serious like I can I see my life post lottery and it's gonna be very dark and depressing like yacht one day like helicopter rides to the island the next day like buying a Pagani P1 or whatever the fuck the car is like I don't know that's depressing to you yeah I guess it is like no like we've been so conditioned to work work work work work that like if we aren't doing something like work wise to like appease the shareholders like

Our brains are fried and we're just like, it's like all a part of the fucking, it's all a part of it. I'm convinced if everybody had my brain chemistry, we would be so much better off. Oh, same. Like if we had your brain chemistry, we would be fucked. We would be fucking lit. No, it would be awful. We're like fucking lit. Like it would be a movie. Like we'd all be like having fun and shit. Well, I've been really convinced I have scabies recently and I don't have scabies. Like for the first time,

I got to see what it feels like to hear me talk about my fake ailments and I'm like, girl, shut the fuck up. It's made me a better person hearing you talk about having scabies, truly. But that doesn't stop you because I have a feeling you're going to literally convince yourself that in one of your legs you lost circulation and I know you're going to hit the dog.

to hit the doctor. No, I'm definitely, there's a blood clot. I'm going to have a pulmonary embolism. Like, it's going to be a whole thing. I already thought it all through. What is an embolism? Like a blood clot that like shoots into your lungs and strokes you out. Murder me.

But Enya has scabies. No, I don't have scabies. She does. I might have talked about this on an episode or maybe it was an episode we stacked. Maybe it was the hotel episode that I like talked about it. But basically, or actually, I think I didn't talk about it because I was really convinced I actually had scabies. And I like part of my brain knew I didn't, but I was convinced I did because somebody said the word scabies around me recently. And I was like, oh my God, I would have scabies.

You really haven't been bathing that much either, like, which is tea. Well, because I read that that kills the scabies. Wait, actually? Yeah. Not bathing kills scabies? Yeah. Wait, actually. No, swear. So you're supposed to not bathe? No, I'm kidding. Oh, girl, I was like, what the fuck? That's like... No, I'm pretty sure, like, you have to bleach bath and shit. Like, you have to go crazy with the showering. But I was convinced... Oh, you know why I was convinced? Because somebody recently told me that ringworm was going around in the gyms in L.A.,

And then I was like, oh my God. And then in that same sentence, somebody was like, yeah, like one time I had a friend who got scabies from the gym and we were going to the gym so much that I was really convinced I was going to get scabies. And then I had gone upstate and I got flea bites on my left leg and I was staring at them for like days. And I already know what flea bites look like from when we had a flea infestation. So I knew there were flea bites, but my brain wouldn't stop me from thinking I had scabies. So my history-

We're so ran through and rancid, bro. We don't have AC that works. We had a flea infestation. Our doors don't unlock when you lock them, which could be good because no one can ever get into our house because they don't unlock. I was thinking the deadbolt on our front door, the knob fell off. It's gone and it fell off when it was bolted. And I was like,

thank God there wasn't a fire because we would not have been able to get out of this house because our back door also locks and we can't unlock it from the inside. Like we're- You would have had to climb out the window. And like-

Oh, hell no. But yeah, I was convinced I had scabies and then my flea bites went away. And while I had flea bites, I called my dermatologist because I was like, okay, like, hey, I haven't seen you in a while, but I was wondering if I could come in. I have these bites on my ankles. I think it might be scabies. I feel like it's scabies. And mind you, this was a voicemail. So I sounded fucking insane. And I was like, hey,

I hope you're doing good. I'm just calling for a checkup. I do have like a breakout on my chest that I want to look at. So that's one thing. Oh, also I have bites around my ankle and I think I have scabies and I don't know if I come to you for scabies or if I go to a different doctor and like if you don't want scabies, I won't go to you because I think I have scabies and then she called me back and I missed the call and she left me a voicemail where it was like,

So what you're describing sounds like a flea bite. And I hadn't mentioned flea bites in the voice message to her. And she basically told me not to waste my time coming to her. Because she was like, unless you have...

between your fucking toes and like between your fingers and on your wrist, you don't have scabies. It sounds like you were probably somewhere where there was fleas and I literally was, I was upstate. But then the other day in New York, I got bit by a mosquito three times on my leg and it reignited my fear of scabies, even though they are mosquito bites. But yeah, like, I don't know why my new lingering fear

I think I'm meant to get scabies in my lifetime. - Well, you'd be surprised 'cause when we were talking about scabies with people, like more often than you'd think, they'd just like admit that they had scabies at some point in their life. And it's like a deep dark secret, like a taboo secret that everybody keeps.

Like I met like five people in the last week that have had scabies. Which is what ignited my fear because I was like, that means you bitches are just normal people and you get fucking scabies. Like I don't want that. No, literally. It's kind of like how when I was younger, I was convinced I was going to like die from chicken pox. My new thing is scabies. Did you hear the water? Yeah. It's dripping on me.

I'm going to look up and it's going to go directly into my eyeball. I'm going to get a disease. Every time I'm walking around New York, I'm scared that like an AC is going to trip into my eyeball and I'm going to go blind. Oh, also on the flight back home, I used the bathroom and I felt like my pants had dragged on the floor in the bathroom. And then I touched my pants at one point and I was convinced my hands were covered in germs and that I was going to get pink eye if I touched my face, but I couldn't go back to the bathroom because I was like,

I had to scooch past people to go to the bathroom. So instead, I just sat there panicking for like an hour that I was going to get pink eye and my eyes were itching so bad. So I started using my sleeves and I scratched my cornea with my sleeve and then I knocked out for two hours. So that's where my mental state is at.

So the Hak Tua girl, do you actually not know her? I haven't seen it. I saw someone comment that, but I just thought it was like, oh, okay. It's busted. But basically, this is my take on it. So the Hak Tua girl is the girl that like was being interviewed, da, da, da, da, da, and like they...

asked her about giving head and she said you got a hak tua on that thing like and she said that and then everybody like thought that was the funniest thing in the world so they like started like trying to find her like incessantly like invading her privacy oh it's like one of those drunk yeah exactly and so like they couldn't find her well eventually she showed up um

at the barstool offices and did like an interview and when she pulled up she had like a team of like 10 people around her like a whole ass camera crew following her like big ass like red is dead cameras or whatever the fuck they're called um like just following her around and shit and like

Like, everybody was like seeing that and they were like, bitch, like, don't get comfortable. Like, you're not going to be famous. Like, we're not making you famous. Like, you're not going to have a career. We're not letting you have a career. And they were just like making fun of her for like taking a shot at fame. Like, bitch, I swear she was working a factory job. So anybody in their right fucking mind.

would quit their job for their 15 minutes of fame even if it meant like being made fun of like but at least they're not working a factory job so that's my take on it granted she is like a little like she's funny she's really silly but um yeah i uh

don't think the hatred towards her is deserving even though it's ridiculous that's like classic internet shit it's like when they made what's his nuts the yodeling kid in fucking walmart famous and then for some reason it became so popular of a thing to like bully the fuck out of him even though he was a kid and now he went on stage with Lana Del Rey so all of you have nothing to say she has her fucking pulse her finger on the

pulse yeah she has her finger she has her fucking pulse yeah no she has her finger on the pulse and she knows exactly what y'all don't want to see and she'll do it anyways because no one can control my queen and that's the real tea shout out lana del rey i love you you saved my life woman crush wednesday ugh lana is so beautiful well i had a thought that was like very um

immature but the other day I got seriously sad like actually upset at the fact that I won't be

a young turnt crazy girl in the year 2069. By 2069, I will be 70 fucking years old. Leather skin. And that makes me so sad. Like that makes me really sad for some reason. And I'm so jealous because there's going to be some like 23 year olds who are posting from their brain, like Neuralink on IG, making jokes about

the year 2069 and then there's going to be kids who get to get high as fuck on 420 69 but it's going to be space ganja like the craziest the craziest fucking thing is by then like we'll be able to reverse age if they truly want if they want to maximize profits they would learn how to reverse age so we can work longer and i have a feeling in the next 25 30 years we'll be able to freeze our age

age and will be like i don't know because isn't there that one guy who he sold was it the guy who sold venmo or something it's not venmo but i know what you're talking about yeah who's like spending all his time and money to look younger and he still looks 40 something oh wait what it might have been venmo two million dollars a year is what he spends on reversing his age that is fucking sad bitch what you need to do is get a fucking therapist because you are lost like you have never that deep it's never ever that deep but i think for him it's not even about like

it's i mean obviously it's a little bit of vanity purposes but like truly it's just like seeing how far he can push like the human body but science um yeah i mean it's working like there's like these ways to tell how much you've aged and like for every year that we age he only ages like six or seven months i don't even want to live that long like what is the point no for real but by then like we'll have like

a pop star from Mount Olympus on Mars that like has bioluminescent skin that's like performing and outperforming all of our pop girls currently. I just don't know like I think I have like the way people don't believe the earth is round is the way I have a lack of belief in technological and scientific advances where I'm just like we are not moving as fast as we thought like and I don't think we can but also I think I just I don't see the point like

Like, I think the first flight, from the very first time we flew to, like, landing on the moon was only, like, 30 years or something like that. Like, it was, like, horrifying. Well, I don't believe in the moon landing, so. Yeah. But you don't believe in the moon landing. I don't. That shit's fake as fuck. We could do the moon landing. We should just do the moon landing on an episode. Wait. Next episode. We literally could just fake the moon landing. Next episode, we're faking the moon landing. Wait, that's a good fucking idea, like, for a show is to, like,

fake all that whatever you know what i'm saying um that's a good idea bro we can't even visit the titanic shipwreck like you think we can do all that they they have though that's the thing they did it before a bunch of times was that the first time it was a commercial experience no they've gone on commercial damn that would be my luck i know that would be my fucking luck i'd be like fuck it like i'm rich all i know is that my veins in my body and in my legs are collapsing and

Like that fucking submarine collapse under the ocean. From hanging? Yeah. That's what you get. Bitch, you're so jealous of me. You kind of deserve it. You're so jealous of me. Okay. Wingstop, count your fucking days. I'm telling you. I have beef with all these fucking restaurants. Wingstop, you're canceled. Wingstop is for real canceled. I'm not even kidding. Why? We're canceling Wingstop right now until...

Okay, it actually gets me so heated. Basically, it was day three in a row of me ordering Wingstop. I was on such a good fucking vibe. Okay, first bad sign. Yeah, I was on such a good vibe. I love Wingstop, y'all. It's like literally the best food on this planet. I'm having it tonight. Wait, actually? Yeah, I think I might have it with rain. Ooh, vibe. Best food on this planet Earth.

I ordered it for me and Josiah. It was 60 fucking dollars for two people to eat. Ridonculous. And I ordered it through the Wingstop app because I was like, you know what? Like,

I'll give money to the Wingstop app instead of like the fucking Postmates app or whatever. I don't know. I don't know my thinking. I always think that there's like a reward system or something like, cause like if there is a reward for ordering too much Wingstop, I'm going to fucking get it. I literally order it like four or five times a week. It's like actual, an actual problem. I actually can't afford it. But I ordered it for- It is incredibly expensive. I ordered it at 10.51 for me and Josiah and it said it was going to deliver by 11.15. So,

Well, I got texts saying that my driver had picked up my order and they're delivering it through DoorDash. This is important. They said my driver picked up my food and was dropping it off at my house soon. And I didn't get a single fucking notification that he was trying to call me or nothing like nothing like that. And then he just dropped the food off, took a picture, sent it to me and dipped. I couldn't get a hold of him after this point because he like finished the order and

He dropped it off at the wrong fucking house. $60 of Wingstop at the wrong fucking house. Oh my God, somebody literally won the lottery. They came up for real because it was a good ass order. It was my order. It was three tenders of lemon pepper, two mild, a cheese sauce, a ranch, a Coke, big size, and lemon pepper fries with extra seasoning and well done cooked.

Bro, they came up for real. You didn't go find it? No, we scoured the neighborhood. I literally went up to every single, I was, I was writhing in anger because I was at this point, I was, I was so pissed. I was like literally withdrawing from Wingstop, but Wingstop is canceled. Yeah, I'm never ordering it again. Fuck that place. But I went to every single door in the neighborhood looking for it. We looked like robbers and thieves.

I even went to the house like up the street that like shares similar numbers to us. Wasn't there. We like were on Google maps, like looking, seeing like at like to see the front door of houses. Cause he sent me a fucking picture of where it was. He was like teasing us. And so I called him. He didn't answer. I called him again. He didn't fucking answer. And so then I called DoorDash and they like put me on hold for like 25 minutes and then got back to me and they were like, well, you ordered it through the Wingstop app.

So you have to call Wingstop. So I called Wingstop, but they don't have a fucking help number. So I just called the Wingstop that I ordered from. And they were like, oh yeah, we can figure that out for you easily. And then they were like,

what's your name gave them my name then they put me on hold with like the most bunk fucking weight music ever and then they asked me my name again we need to update weight hold music because it's the worst it's so be um like this is the saddest image i've ever seen in my life that's also one of those like apartment complexes that dropped from the sky yeah yeah like that are made out of cardboard and plastic saddest moment of my life when i saw that photo um they called or they took me off hold again

Asked me my name again. And then when I was giving them my name, I was like, I can also give you the order number because I feel like it would be easier to look up by the order number because they were saying... Because I had already put a second order in to replace the Wingstop, so I didn't want them to cancel. Yeah, no, I was down. You wouldn't just take that as your sign to, I don't know, order from Wendy's or something? No, I was in a mood, but I needed that Wingstop to fix me. So at this point, it's midnight. Yeah, it's midnight, $100, $120 in on Wingstop. Well, he finally...

Comes back to me and I'm laying in bed at this point, like waiting on the food. And he's like, hello, Drew. And I'm like, yeah, what's up? He fucking hangs up on me after being on hold for 30 minutes. Wing stop. You're fucking over because they also don't have like.

Like a way to, for me to get refunds back online. So I had the email, this fucking email and I blew that shit up. I sent them like literally 45 emails, like being like, they fucking hung up on me. Like they delivered my food to the wrong place. Like I want my fucking money back. Like I was like writhing in anger. Um, and they still had to email me back.

the what wing stop yeah but after that experience you got it again i i got it the same night and then i got it the next day i'm not kidding y'all like it's it's the only thing that's keeping me alive and if anything the only thing are you an organ donor yeah you need to get rid of that no no no one needs no one my organs are hella strong like they're actually really good

Dude, imagine like being on your deathbed because your liver is failing and they bring in Drew Phillips liver, bro. My talkies covered liver. You are done. You're fucking cooked. My talkies and Wingstop ranch inflated liver. Your kidney, your coke kidney. Yeah, no. It's fucking cooked, bro, for them. But the only way Wingstop can make this right, and I'm being genuine here, is if they give me the Wingstop black card.

So I can have ring-winged stuff for the rest of my life. Oh, I have good news for you. Literally no one listening has the power. Just wait, just wait. When we all lock arms and we take a stand, all, how many of our listeners we have? 300,000, half a million of us that are listening. This video gets like 200 views. Winged stuff will have to be forced to give me the black card. You're going to force their hand. Yeah. So you think the way to make this company like you is to shame them into liking you.

Exactly. Exactly. Because they obviously did not give a fuck about me when they didn't give me my money back. Because $60, that's life-changing money to a lot of people, especially me. Because I would use that to buy two more orders of Wingstop. They're getting the money either way. Just give me my fucking money back, bro. Like, for real. Like, it's pissing me off. Like, give me my fucking money. Honestly, respect. Respect. And I think you should stand for

for what you believe in. I'm glad that's where you put your foot down. It's for your wing stop. Well, I have exciting news. I'm waiting on this video to be sent to me. But when I was in New York, I was at a restaurant and we were eating on the sidewalk. No, you weren't.

No, we were. We couldn't find a table and we put our food on the sidewalk. It was fucked up. And it was after it rained, so all the piss came up from the concrete. All the oil and the human feces. If you wear sandals in New York, you're going to jail, but that's a different person. Your toes are literally going to fall off from fucking... You have foot fungus. Yeah. They're the ones spreading the fucking ringworm around LA. And the scabies. They're coming here and giving us scabies. But...

We had the option to sit indoors, but I was like, you know what? I never sit outside at restaurants in New York. I'm going to have that vibe. So we're sitting on the sidewalk and like eating our dinner, like me and a few friends. And this guy comes by and he's like, oh, I love the podcast. I was like, oh, thank you so much. And he dips. I go to the bathroom. When I come back, the same guy comes back to me and he's like, hey, by the way, I'm

You prank called me with your friends once. It's somebody who works at like the, so Prada and Miu Miu and all those big brands. When you call them, you were not calling the store. They direct you to a call center and a guy who answered the phone to Josie asking to eat the fucking food.

we have all the videos on my phone yeah saw me in public and was like yeah so basically they are not allowed to hang up on you that's why they stay on the phone with you so long is because a lot of those call centers are not allowed to hang up on you and he was telling me that it was like it was right like he had just started working there too so it was asking him to eat the fucking shoes and like oh my god he's the one who was like you want to consume them like he was the one who said

that and like i wish my friend recorded i think it might have been prada my friend recorded it so i'm waiting on him to send me the video but he was like yeah that was me and i like they log all those calls by the way which is crazy because in my head i immediately was like bro do you know their policy on eating the shoes do you mean like consuming the speakers yes

We'll find it. Yeah, we'll find it. Because we have way too many videos. But he was like, I felt so embarrassed. Like I was faced with pure shame. And I was like, I am so sorry. And then he was like, no, no, no. It was like really funny because they log all those calls and you have to kind of report them back and be like, hey, like just so you know, if you're looking through the calls, I got this call and they aren't allowed to hang up on you and they have to just stay on the phone until you hang up. And it was one of the calls that he said like,

Josie or one of us started laughing so we hung up so it wasn't like a long call but we like started laughing after he was like you want me to consume you want to consume the shoes did he know it was us or did he find out after the podcast I don't think he knew it was us when we called but I think he saw the episode where we were talking about it

And he was like, no, it was really funny. And I got so embarrassed. I was like, I am literally so sorry. Like we talk about the moral dilemma of like prank calling all the time. Like I always feel bad, like whatever, like me to try to like back up and be like, I'm so sorry. But he thought it was funny. And I was like, I'm so glad you thought it was funny. He was like, yeah, no, it's really funny because we usually just get mundane, like regular calls because it's like a luxury store. Okay, so our theory is kind of tea. Like it like takes them out of their workday a little bit and like,

makes them laugh. We're like, yeah, no, we're good. We're good people. I know, me convincing myself. That is so crazy. I need that video. But yeah, my friend recorded the interaction and shout out to him. I don't remember getting his name, but shout out to you. You're fucking awesome. You're a champ. But it was cracking me up because I was like, okay, maybe I need to chill because those are literally brands I love and like to work with and me just be like, okay, we need to choose. Like, um,

um but yeah thankfully you're clean of that that was yeah i've never called mu mu if you're listening i have never called to eat your shoes i have your shoes oh so you wouldn't you would not no i'm saying like i purchased the shoes and when you guys gift me the shoes i'm so thankful that i eat them yeah and they taste like hella good like if any brand has good tasting shoes it's mu mu mu mu shoes are so yummy mu mu shoes go crazy especially with a little wing stop ranch thank you a little wing stop ranch like i'm telling you right now like it

But yeah, that was my awesome experience. That is like one of the greatest things I've ever fucking heard. I never thought that would ever get back to us. I was so shocked, especially because it was the same guy who came back earlier and I was like,

In my head when he first passed, I didn't obviously think anything of it. And then when he came back, I was like, oh, I wonder if he wants a picture or something because he was with a girl. And I was like, oh, I wonder if they want a picture or something. But then he was like, I just thought I needed to tell you and I was going to tell you earlier. But I was too embarrassed to tell you. But...

yeah you guys called me and you asked me so thank you for letting us know we won't be calling luxury department stores anymore because i feel bad that they can't hang up and then it had me thinking i was like i wonder if the car salesman can hang up but i still stand by car salesman being very predatory and that's because i also grew up watching matilda so car salesmen have a bad i like

I want Miss Honey. I want Miss Honey. I want her to hold me. I want... Fuck, what's her name? From Alien. Like the movie Alien? Yeah. Oh, fuck. What is her name, bro? I was just saying her name the other day because I was watching it. Whatever. Ripley. Oh, my God. Mother good. She's so mother. But... Well, bouncing off of that... Oh, wait. But I do have to clarify...

Not in a lesbian way. Yeah, not in a gay way. I've come to turn. Mine is in a very straight way because I'm a straight man. Yeah, mine is in like a girl crush like erg wannabe you. You're so kind because I've taken some time to myself and I've decided that being bisexual isn't real and I'm straight.

Period. So I mean, we've we've been known that like I would not let a person like that in my life. But bouncing off of eating shoes, Mew Mew call person. I didn't tell you this because I did not want you to be jealous at all. And I didn't even end up going because like it was just like it was I had other like obligations. But I like was supposed to be at the white party.

I was supposed to be there. I got invited. I'm not jealous of that. Yeah, like the Illuminati invited me. And I was supposed to be there like hanging out with like Drewski and Drake and shit. But like I decided ultimately like that wasn't my vibe. I was like more on like a chill vibe. Like go ride the water slide vibe. Yeah. I mean you were back in LA though. So I don't understand how you would have made it. They were going to call me a helicopter across America. Yeah.

I was going to chop her across.

How long would that take? Like literally 80 years. Like literally I'd be 408 years old by the end of that if it didn't fucking crash, bro. Nah, yeah, I was going to go, but it's not my vibe. It really isn't my vibe. Like I don't fuck with that shit for real. Did you see that Kendrick dropped his Not Like Us video during it and was wearing all white in the video? So crazy. So good. He's like, he's got the mind of a mastermind for real. That is like, if there's anything to be learned, it's just like,

Balls in your mouth challenge, like butt sex and stuff like that. My take on that whole situation is from the very beginning. If you have a diss track that's made about you and it's playing at fucking parties, you're

You go home. Don't go out. You just stay quiet. Don't go out. You stay quiet. Especially when you already know you're going to lose. Especially when you're a billionaire. Like, babe. I know. You had no reason to do all that. Just chill. So sad. In 20 years when this blows over, you can be 400 years old. You can show your face again. Yeah. Just chill out. You're good. You're good. Oh, my God. But...

yeah i i can't believe uh kindred didn't like hit me up or hit me up to like give him some insight about like our situation with like kanye and drake backstage like them doing s with me or whatever well it's because that's a lie so yeah no it's not it's it's a very real i mean you were quick to say yeah i think i'm blaming okay cool right i want to eat a fucking minion so goddamn bad i swear to god like i want to eat them

I just like, I think I'm, I wish I enjoyed the Despicable Me franchise the way other people do. But I think- Oh, true.

also i need to stop watching inside out too i've realized it's like my cocoa melon version of therapy right now and i need to stop watching it i've watched it basically three times and i would watch it again because if you want to go see it in the theaters i would i need to see it because we started watching it with alex and we watched the first 15 minutes i've watched the first 15 minutes a few times now because the sexy dad duh like hello um

picks up another dad at the hockey game and you just have to watch that a few times like

Just to see what it's like to be a man, you know, like a real man. Oh, yeah, yeah. Camaraderie. Yeah, exactly. Between men. Tapping each other on the butts, like when you're walking by, like congratulating them. With help? No, I looked that up. I was like, where the fuck did that come from? Because that is so homoerotic and weird because I watched LeBron James walk past Cooper Flagg and like tap him on his butt, which is also suspect because Cooper Flagg is 17 years old. Shout out Cooper Flagg though. Like you're doing big things like for real. Like I've been seeing you on the USA Select team like forever.

I've been bullish. Okay. This is my claim to fame. I've been bullish on Cooper flag since 2022. I'm not even fucking playing like a, like bullish, like a bull market, like going up. Like I've been, I've been calling his rise, not demise since 2022. Uh, I thought probably earlier than that. Cause that's like the earliest I texted about him, but he is the truth. I'm telling y'all like, he really is the truth. He's the goat. Like he's going to like,

He's going to do big things in the league. I think he's not going to have like the most amazing, like mind blowing season at Duke this year, but I will be tuning into every fucking Duke game. I did last year because of Jared McCain. That is my man. Like, I don't give a fuck what anybody says. Like I will ride and die for Jared McCain. He's the dude that paints his nails. Cause he's like truly authentically himself and not enough people to

are themselves in the league and that's a tea and he had his first summer league game a couple days ago watched that he tore he ate down he's mother goose but I didn't reply to my therapist oh shit she's gonna ghost you bro

No, she loves me. What were we talking about? Minions though? Oh, Inside Out. I would love to go see it. And when Inyo was saying all that shit about it being like, like one of the best movies ever made, I was like, yeah, right. I watched the first like 30 minutes of like a recording of the screen on an iPhone with really shitty audio. And I was like,

Like gooped and gagged. Like I was like, oh, this is like, this is a good movie. Like this is, I genuinely believe it's made for adults. I do not think it's made for kids. I don't think any funky ass kid is going into the movie theaters and understanding by any means what the fuck is happening.

But it's so good. Also, they casted Aya and Uma so perfectly. Like, for the characters they voice acted. Like, the whole thing is just so good. Yeah. Like, you weren't joking. So we had to turn it off because I was like, I want to see this in theater for real, for real. Because it's like...

It's just a good movie. Like it really is such a feel good movie. Also, I found out that it already made a billion dollars, which is fucking crazy. Like I haven't seen a percentage of that, bro. Why would you ever deserve a percentage of it? Because it's based on me.

Yeah, because you're fucking crazy. I'm so fucking crazy. I'm so fucking crazy. Everything I do is so fucking crazy. Someone pointed out to me the other day that like our thing used to be like your mama, your mama. And now our thing is I'm so crazy. I'm so fucking crazy. I forgot. I totally forgot about this. On the way home from Rain's house morning after 4th of July, I got into an Uber ride home and

I was her first ride ever and she almost fucking killed me. I'm not kidding. She almost killed me and I have a video of it. Like three cars almost destroyed. She stopped in the, like, you know, when you like turn off and or you can go straight and there's that little triangle there, like on the freeway, she stopped there because she didn't know which way to go. Like her GPS, like she couldn't read it. And I was like, no, you go straight. I've been on this road a million times, go straight. And she was like, turn off. And I was like, no, go straight. She's like, okay, I'll turn off. Like LA is that way. And I was like, no, I'm not.

going to downtown LA I'm going straight like please go straight and then she freaked out and just stood like still in the middle of the road um granted I was telling her the way that the GPS was telling her to go I don't know why she wanted to go to LA downtown LA so bad but she wanted to take you to Santia Ali and sell you no for real bruh let me find this freaking we need to go to Santia Ali we haven't been in a minute so we're stopped she starts pulling out

we were like literally about to fucking die bro we were literally about to die and like she like yeah it was fucking scary but I was literally and I asked her I was like oh is this like one of your first rides because the app told me it was her first ride and I was like you're doing a good job like I was gonna tell her she was doing a good job and she was like no this is not I've been doing this for years and I was like

It really doesn't seem like it because she was also asking me how to drive. She was like, do I turn my blinker on now? And I was like, yes, like you turn your blinker on now, bro. Like, what are we doing? Dude, she was probably 16. She was like 40 in her late 50s. Like she was old as fuck, but she was such a sweetheart. Shout out her, like saved my life, but also put my life in danger. Well, my arm hurts. I need to go to the hospital, I think. Okay.

charlie's sending us a cease and desist bro bro charlie's like she hates us bro she like really doesn't fuck with us like and you tipped her tiara a little bit and like don't say all that i don't believe that and yes was telling me she was telling me all about it she was like yeah the charlie version just isn't as good as mine like no i don't understand why people like the version i did so much like

It's so stupid and it like embarrasses me. It's embarrassing. Everything is embarrassing. Wait, everything literally is embarrassing. Your mama. Your mama. Your mama. Your mama's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed. Your mama is embarrassed. Well, Charlie, if you hear this, I would love to get on a remix. Please, please, please, please. Please. You don't have to pay me. I just love the album. Show me to me, Rachel. Show me to me, Rachel. Okay, well, I'm going to get into media. Before we do that, can I do stand up? But I have to get in the harness first. You don't. I have to get in the fucking harness, bro. Please. Please.

Fine. We paid for it. Might as well. Thank you. It's like not even ready. There's no cue. Okay. We've all seen the Hawk Tua girl, right? She's so crazy. She needs to get like a bird and hawk and fly to LA and pursue a social media career like bad baby. That was like the most mouthful of like nonsense jargon I've ever heard.

I'm tired of people asking me if I'm an introvert or extrovert. Bitch, I'm a pervert. Okay. All I can think about is that poop river in Paris. Everybody's going upstream to drop logs in the river as the president swims across. All I'm thinking is I want to swim in that river that day. NYC is so crazy. It's like a concrete everywhere. Alicia Keys wasn't lying. It's like a concrete everywhere? Okay. Okay.

Okay, wait, let me... Why are people beating their meat? You should be caressing it sensually instead of hitting it. The water dripping. Oh, wait, this is a good one. Wait, I wrote this one without even thinking about it. People are always telling me to hang in there. Actually, this one's really dark. What is it? I thought it was going to be a joke because you're like floating. Why do people want to see me hanging myself? Oh. Yeah. Thirst traps more like dehydration-free.

- What? - You are not drinking, eating, left water droplets. - Dude, I've said this for like four years in a row now, but sometimes when you talk, you feel like an uncle of mine who got amnesia. - I know, it's really gnarly. Okay, this is the last one. When I see someone having fun without me, I wanna kill them. - Whoa. Is that like, is that a joke or? - Yeah, it's like stand up, bruh. It's float in the air, bruh.

Are you all alright? No. You're all left. Okay, I think that's take that fucking spotlight off of him. He's freaking out. Right. Right. Well,

That was lit. No, that was a good one. No, it wasn't. That was good stand-up. Your stand-up is getting progressively scarier and scarier. And I feel like you're doing this thing where you go to write down a joke and you're trying to hurry up and finish typing it before you forget it. And you forget 18 words in between each sentence. On the couch last night. And yeah, it really ruined my mood trying to write those jokes. Because I was writing them last night at midnight. And we were trying to watch Love Island or whatever. That show's bad.

Yeah, I couldn't get into it. I couldn't get into it. I'm going to try again tonight, but I just couldn't get into it. But we're thinking by episode three, the tea will be spilled, but we'll see. I watched Inside Out 2 again. I watched A Man on the Moon, which was really good. And I watched Love Lies Bleeding, which was really fucking good. I'm just confused. That's it.

-Girl, so confusing. -Oh my God. -You're so confused. -Then my media for listening is Whisper by Martin Rev, Nice Mover by GinaXPerformance, This Eve of Parting by John Hartford,

I did not know that Arctic Monkeys song I Wanna Be Yours is a cover I wanna be yours it's literally or at least I think it is by John Cooper Clark I've been listening to I wanna be yours I wanna be yours I wanna be

My media is advanced falconry, mutual benefit. It's over, Roar Orbiton. In my room, the Langley School Music Project. Y'all, that's the fucking sauce. Langley School Music Project, best children's choir covers of all time. Putting y'all on. Total Darkness, R.P. Boo. And then, wait, I have a story. These words, Natasha Bedingfield,

did i tell you yeah there was a at the mark show there was this like beautiful woman just like kind of running around like sitting down and she like pulled me aside and she was like hey can we get a picture together like our outfits really match like well and i was like yeah of course like let's do it but i have to do this interview first and then like we were walking over to the interview and then she like grabbed me again and she was like let's do it and i was like yeah we can do it now let's just do it now so we started taking pictures with her

I didn't know until after that it was fucking Natasha Bedingfield. I'm like a bird. I don't want to fly away. Girl, she like wanted to take a picture with me. You know what's crazy is I used to call the radio station to play that song. And like radio is dead too. Like that's the real tea of it all. Do people still call into radio stations to play songs or do they just play TikTok?

They probably just play TikTok. I think they just play TikTok. No, we got to get... We should have a call center. Yeah, we'll get that. Yeah, we need to do that soon because I feel like... Maybe not like an advice column because advice from us would literally just be like, cheat on your boyfriend. I know. At one of the college shows we did...

Somebody asked me advice and I gave the worst advice ever. But no, it's like to the youngins, like they need to hear shit like that. Yeah. Like it's okay to cheat. It's okay to be crazy and free. Just kidding. Just kidding. I'm just joking.

I'm just stroking and joking, man. Okay, that's it. Thank you guys for watching. No, no, no. We need to talk about my boner real quick. Okay, no. And thank you guys so much for listening for three years. Thank you guys for real. Kind of insane. Peace and love. Hopefully we make it to another year. Who freaking knows? I mean, my leg actually might fall off. I can only pray for so much. Wow. Wait, actually, what if I do have a pulmonary embolism? Oh, my God. I have a blood clot. You're so annoying.

True! True, what the fuck did you just fucking do? Drew, okay, stop. This isn't funny, please. Like, I just want to go to bed. I'm going to fix it in the corner. Drew, turn around. Take this the fuck- No!