The ex-partner, Craig, initially appeared sweet but gradually became abusive, possibly due to underlying psychological issues or a desire for control.
The mother, after enduring multiple threats from Craig, fled in the middle of the night while he was asleep, eventually moving across the country to escape him.
The turning point was when the narrator's partner, who suffered from PTSD and night terrors, attacked her in her sleep, leading to a series of violent incidents that ultimately resulted in his deportation.
The narrator returned because her partner promised to seek help and she believed in his potential for change, despite the clear danger he posed.
The abusive partner was deported and banned from the country after being tricked into ICE custody by the DA, providing the narrator with a sense of safety.
The ex-best friend, Vanessa, had a fascination with creepy and morbid things, including collecting roadkill and wanting to be a coroner or mortician. She also had a necrophilic attraction and a tendency towards sadistic behavior.
The narrator ended the friendship because Vanessa's behavior became increasingly dangerous, including her confession of necrophilic desires and her actions of unaliving animals, which the narrator could no longer condone or manage.
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My mom tried to leave multiple times, but Craig always threatened her. After one violent argument, my mom waited and fled in the middle of the night. Years passed, and she got married and had me. My dad's work included a lot of traveling, so it was mostly my mom and I alone in our large acreage home. What I'm about to share is a recounting of what my mom told me when I was old enough to understand. I may miss some details, but the bulk of what happened is included.
My mom was in the kitchen making lasagna while I was sitting in my high chair. It was extremely hot that day, so she opened the kitchen door to let in some air. She heard heavy footsteps enter into the kitchen behind her. My excited mother assumed it was my dad, and she turned around with a, "'Hello, my love,' but her excitement immediately faded to horror. There was Craig, standing in the middle of her kitchen with a gun visibly tucked into his pants. Craig smiled at her and asked what she was making."
My mom mustered enough courage and said lasagna. She was physically shaking as Craig sat himself down beside me. He playfully pinched my cheek, and I laughed at the act. My mom was holding back tears as she finally asked what he was doing in the house. Craig said he just wanted to visit her, and he would leave when he was done eating. When the lasagna was ready, she served him a plate. My mom took me and sat across from Craig so she could distance her unpredictable ex from her young child.
Craig said he still had her things at his house and that she was welcome to get them. My mom said that she didn't need any of it and he could throw it out. Craig started to get agitated and said, yeah, you're good at just throwing things away, aren't you? Craig said that she was acting tough, but he knew deep down inside she was still the stupid girl that he had dated. Craig claimed that my mom needed him in her life and that she couldn't function if he wasn't there to help her. He said he needed to be there to raise me
because my dad would never be able to protect my mom or me. Craig said if he were crazy, he could have easily kidnapped us or done things to my mom because my dad was too scared and weak to protect what was his. My mom started to cry and told Craig it was time to leave the house and to not come back. Craig said that it wasn't her house and that for some reason he had the right to be there. My mom said if he didn't leave, she would call the police
which really made him angry. Craig threatened if the cops got involved, he would hire men to cut her up into pieces and film it. My mom started to cry even harder. That's when an enraged Craig threw his plate, smashing it against the wall before yelling at her to stop crying. And couldn't she see that he loved her? I got scared and started to cry too, which caused Craig to stand up and approach my mom. She jumped out of her chair with me cradled in her arms.
She begged that whatever Craig was going to do to her, just to leave me alone and not touch me. Craig tried to reach over to grab my mom, but she got so scared that she fell to the floor sobbing. Just then, the house phone began to ring, and Craig became so overwhelmed that he ran out of the house. After phoning the police, the cops and his family found him about to shoot himself in the head. His adult son had to convince him not to do it. My mom was so traumatized that she didn't want to deal with any of it,
Charges were never filed, although she did get a restraining order against him. Her and my dad moved across the country shortly thereafter, and that was the last my mother ever saw of Craig. I was curious, so a few years back, I looked this guy up and was shocked to see that he was dating a college-aged girl, one who bore a striking resemblance to the woman he couldn't have. This isn't so much one encounter, but it was a terrifying experience nonetheless.
I've never told this story to anyone besides the police, but I've been thinking a lot about it lately and only recently realized how much the whole thing really fucked me up. So here goes. I met this guy at a bar one night. We had a great time, partied all night, and eventually ended up back at my apartment. After that night, he basically lived with me instead of at the hostel he was staying at. We clicked immediately and I enjoyed having him there. We dated for about three months before the first incident.
It was the night of my 30th birthday. We celebrated, had a blast, and passed out at about 3:00 AM. He had told me previously that he suffered from PTSD and night terrors. He had woken up many nights freaking out, so his admission wasn't very shocking. I was deeply passed out when I awoke to five quick blows to the head and face. I tried to cover myself, not knowing at all what the was happening. When I realized that my arms
were pinned at my sides. After gaining enough sense to know that I was being attacked, I realized that he was sitting on my chest with his legs on my arms, now with his hands around my neck. I only remember the light fading and going black as he squeezed harder around my neck. When he let go, the blood eventually rushed back to my brain, and I remember seeing him walk to the bathroom. At that point, I grabbed my dogs and ran to my car and took off. He must have passed back out
He called me hours later, completely confused as to where I went. I told him everything he had done, and he promised me he didn't mean to do any of that. He would never do that on purpose, and he promised to seek help. I agreed to come back on the terms that if he ever even scared me again, he'd be gone. Exactly one week later, again, in my sleep, I woke up to him on top of me, this time not doing anything. It rattled me, but I slowly pushed him off and pretended to be getting ready for work.
when, out of nowhere, he jumped up and sucker punched me straight in the mouth. I fell onto the bed, and he again tried to strangle me. This time, I didn't fight back, instead opting to pretend that I had passed out. He let me go once he thought I was unconscious, and went to the kitchen. As soon as he left, I grabbed my dogs again and booked it to the car. I jumped in and locked it. This time, he chased me.
That was when I realized this wasn't some PTSD nightmare sleepwalking freakout. He was legitimately a psychopath. He was wide awake and very coherent. He was screaming that he'd burn my house down if I didn't come out, trying to break the windows to get into my car. Once I was safe, I called the cops. He retreated back into the house. When the cops arrived, I told them he's crazy and might try to attack them. But when they went inside, he was quietly waiting for them.
and surrendered without any resistance. He knew what he had done. It wasn't until his trial that I found out that there was a knife in my bed when the police had arrived. When he let go of me and went to the kitchen, thinking that I had passed out, he went to get a butcher's knife and left it on the bed when he chased me outside. While no one could definitively prove what he was planning on doing within a court of law, I think it's pretty clear to any reasonable person that he had plans of putting that knife through me that morning. In the end, he wasn't charged with anything,
because the DA pulled some fancy lawyering maneuvers and tricked him into walking right into the arms of ICE as soon as he left the courthouse. I have to say, that was satisfying to watch. He was deported and banned from the country. He still tries to contact me on social media by making new accounts to try to get me to help with his appeal to be allowed back. Nope. He still claims he wasn't awake for any of this. I don't know what I believe, but
I know I feel a lot safer with him on the other side of the globe. I've been having a hard time sleeping since all of this. I kind of brushed everything off and carried on with my life as if none of it ever happened. Thinking about it recently though, I realized being attacked in your sleep and coming that close to possibly being a murder victim might cause some lasting psychological damage. I'm currently considering seeking help. I think maybe sharing this story for once might be a healthy first step.
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My ex-best friend is on her way to becoming the next Dahmer. I'm warning you right now for mentions of various triggers in the story. Abuse, both human and animal. SA. And a couple of different philias. From junior year of high school until maybe two years after graduation, I was best friends with a girl named Vanessa. During this time, I was going through a lot of changes in my social and family life.
and she was the one constant, so we became co-dependent. Her family life was never that great to begin with. Her dad was abusive and manipulative. Her mom, Lena, was a sole provider and wasn't around often. Her young sister, Sarah, acted out while Vanessa held it all together and tried to make everyone happy. Part of her father's abuse was to make the kids stay in their rooms until he woke up, usually well into the afternoon.
He wouldn't even let them leave to go to the bathroom or eat. I can only imagine that some of this played a part in the way things went. Vanessa loved creepy things, and all her friends just wrote it off like, oh, that's Vanessa. That's how she is. When I say creepy things, I mean like creepypasta, gloomy bear, horror movies, blood and guts, and things like that. She wanted to be a coroner or a mortician when she grew up.
and she collected roadkill and kept the clean bones in her garage. It's hard for me to put this all into terms that people who don't know her would understand, but ones like "seen" or "emo" or "fake edgy bitch" wouldn't be incorrect. My friend group all grew up pretty sheltered, so as young adults, we rebelled against that like any normal kids would by talking about getting into BDSM and other taboo things.
Vanessa was into BDSM. Specifically, the inflicting pain, sadistic side. She was always the most edgy one of our group. But again, we all just wrote it off like, that's Vanessa being Vanessa. At one point, she even admitted to being attracted to the idea of dead people. Like, she said she wanted to be intimate with a non-alive person. I have no idea how this wasn't an immediate red flag. But again, we all just shrugged it off.
We'll get back to this later. She also had this habit of collecting animals. From what I remember, the most she had at once was: 2 dogs, a cat, 2 hedgehogs, 2 snakes, 2 birds, a gecko, a couple of fish, 2 axolotls, 3 rats, 4 mice. For those of you who don't want to do the math, that's at least 20 pets.
Around the time that we both turned 19 or 20, Vanessa's mom Lena finally kicked her dad out and divorced him. It was a painfully slow process, and Lena forced her daughters to play nice with their dad to try and make everything easier. But all it did was suppress their anger and build up resentment toward their mother. I remember Vanessa ranting about how she just hated both of her parents, and she just wanted her dad to leave and be gone. Soon after her dad left,
Vanessa's cousin on her mom's side, Jim, came to stay with them while in college. Now Jim was a fucking creep. He had issues with hypersexuality and had no idea what boundaries were. Vanessa's house became a hub for her and Sarah's friends after her dad left. But often, we didn't want to be there. If Jim was going to be there, he would consistently hit on and make sexual advances towards one friend in particular, to the point where she wouldn't come over, period.
Vanessa felt she couldn't do anything to stop it, no matter how many times she told her mom. Lena would just say something about family and needing to be kind. Then it came out that Jim had assaulted his own little sister. And soon after, it was learned that he had done similar things to Vanessa and Sarah when they were younger as well. Finally, he was kicked out. At Halloween of that year, after all the rockiness that had played out, Vanessa and I ended up getting a bottle of shitty whipped cream vodka.
which we drank all of, despite neither of us being drinkers. During that time, she confessed that she was in love with me. Now, I had just gotten out of a relationship, and I was feeling neglected and lonely, so I was down. We were kissing and touching, but then she wrapped a dog leash around my neck to choke me in a BDSM way. She kept telling me things like "I love you so much, I just want to f*ck your dead body. I would miss you so much, so I don't want to kill you, but I would love to be with your corpse."
At this point, my brain shut down. We went to bed soon after and she quickly fell asleep, but I avoided her for two days after, anxious as hell, before texting her like "Hey, I love you but like a friend. I can't date right now. We stayed friends and everything seemed fine. I can't explain why I didn't immediately bail after she told me that, but I'll blame it on the vodka. Easy way out, right?" One day after that incident, Vanessa called me while at work,
I wasn't able to answer, but I stepped away after a moment to check my texts. She had sent to me and another friend a video of her unaliving a small animal. I can't remember what it was now, maybe a mouse. The video showed her playing with it, then strangling it, then dissecting it. In the background, you could hear her speaking, as if replying to the imaginary voice of the mouse. "Before you accuse me of embellishing?"
She told me later that she did hear a voice, and of course she was talking to it. As soon as I saw that, I freaked. I called her back, told her she needed to stop, and what the hell is going on? She kept talking about how she felt bad for killing it, but also she wanted to do it again, only this time something bigger. I immediately left work, calling various centers near our area to see if we could get her admitted for a psych evaluation.
I had to convince her and her mom that this was necessary, and I stayed at the hospital for 7 hours while she was being evaluated. She ended up staying there for 2 weeks. It was hell. I took care of her 20 animals. I visited her when I could. We talked on the phone. We were extremely codependent, and I was mad at myself for putting her away because clearly she was fine, right? Lena was upset with me too.
because of the fees and the fact that she didn't believe anything was wrong with her daughter. When she finally got out, Vanessa wasn't any better. In fact, she told me and our friends repeatedly that being there just made her want to go after bigger and bigger things. I felt like I had to watch over her all the time to make sure she wouldn't give in to these temptations. We stopped hanging out as much because of my job and because I was just tired of it all. One day, she bought another rat
with the sole intention of torturing it. She ultimately didn't because I implored her not to, before pressuring her to give it to a friend that didn't have the same urges as her. That was the last straw for me. I was overwhelmed and couldn't handle taking care of her anymore and being so dependent on a single person. I didn't want to be responsible for her and I didn't want to try and control her anymore. So I broke ties, told her I needed a break. She had a hard time understanding that.
and she talked me to our friends. I only saw her once after that, when she tried to make amends, but my skin crawled the entire time she spoke. I haven't seen Vanessa since 2017, even though we still live in the same area. To be honest, the thought of running into her sends me spiraling into anxiety, and I'm just waiting for the moment when she's arrested for trying to sneak into a morgue or attacking someone. TLDR My best friend was a necrophile.
who told me repeatedly that the thought of my corpse really got her going. She started unaliving animals, and everyone thinks I'm the crazy one for trying to get her help. Although, I truly feel that attempting to get someone the help that they desperately need is never the wrong move. I just can't be the one to help.
It was a crime too gruesome to describe on TV. An elderly woman murdered, tortured. Even when sentenced to death, the killer showed no remorse. But one lawyer tried to get this killer off, tried everything to escape justice. That lawyer? Senator Tim Kaine. When Virginia's Democratic governor sided with the victim and put the killer to death, Kaine said, "Something personal in me will die too." Tim Kaine. He's just weird.
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