Disturbing Altered Consciousness Stories: Eerie Tales of Tripping Gone Wrong
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To start this off, I have to say that it was a pretty boring Saturday morning with very little to do. I was in my first month off at college and away from my folks, so I was free to do pretty much whatever I wanted. It was around 11am when I decided that I wanted to spend the day tripping, something that I enjoy doing and have a fair amount of experience with, going back several years at this point. Now, what I can't assume here is that everybody knows dosage levels for LSD offhand.

So, I'll offer this as a guide. The typical single dose for this substance is between 20 to 50 micrograms. This will give the beginner tripper all the sensations, feelings, benefits of the drug. But is it enough to really send them deep down the path? As someone that has tripped several dozen times, my tolerance has emboldened me on occasion. So I was feeling that my sweet spot for the day would be around 200 micrograms, a sizey dose on its own.

but nothing like my personal best, which stood at a whopping 400 micrograms, a number that I felt was elephant-sized on its own. But little did I know, I'd lose that approximation pretty shortly after that initial thought. So I'm seated in my dorm room with a few guys that I'm familiar with, although in the big scheme of things, I had met them no more than a few weeks back. We all knew the plan for the day was to trip, and that's what had brought us together. So as I'm preparing my share,

One of the guys pretty much dares me to take the whole strip. For the purpose of the story, it's important to note that the entire strip had roughly 40 individual doses to it. For those not wanting to do the math, that adds up to just about 1000 micrograms. Me being filled with the ego that only comes from being in a room filled with other dudes egging me on, I said fuck it and didn't really think twice. I placed the whole strip on my tongue, thinking that with my experience,

I could handle such a dose. The report that I'm set to share is only what I'm able to describe, which I feel is only around 10% of what I journeyed through. There is no shortage of things that I felt and experienced that I don't have words to explain, so I won't even attempt to do so. I started feeling it within 10 minutes, and by 30 minutes in, it was already comparable to my 400 trip. I knew then that this was going to be a long ride. An hour into the trip,

The visuals are becoming super strong. The closed-eye visuals were not like anything I've ever experienced. When I'd close my eyes tight, I'd see extremely detailed places that I'd never been to before. It was like my mind made up these vast landscapes with glimmering skies and beams of rainbow shooting out everywhere. After a few hours of this, I was beginning to peak. It was hard to tell if my eyes were even open or closed at this point.

I was being encompassed by visuals, and time was starting to get extremely warm. What felt like an hour was actually only ten minutes, and at this point, I wanted for it to stop. I started panicking, and there was nowhere that I could go to escape from it. I was so blitzed out of my mind that I thought that if I could just stand up and go to another room, that these feelings would all go away. I soon found this not to be the case, and realized there's absolutely nothing I could do except

Accept it. Trust me, it's not easy to just accept this experience. It literally feels like you're dying and you're on your way to experiencing the afterlife. Accepting this experience would be like putting a firearm up to your head and pulling the trigger. This was by far the strongest feeling of fear that I've ever felt in my life. I don't think I could ever be that scared again besides the fear that I'll feel seconds before my death.

Once I came to terms with what was going on, I sat back and did my best to let all the emotions leave me. I calmed my breathing and allowed the drug to work its magic. At this point, all memory was lost. I didn't know who I was, I didn't know where I was, and I didn't know why I was even alive experiencing this moment, and instead, just be nothing in nothingness. I felt like I was the source of creation. Everything is all, and connected.

Time exists in this one spot. There is no present, no future, no past. The barrier that was blocking me from the larger consciousness broke down, and I felt like I no longer existed. The human language cannot put this experience into words, just as it is not possible to explain exactly what an intense trip is to someone who has never tripped before. It got to the point where I was so lost with reality that I was convinced I have been in this state for eternity and I would be like this.

Forever. I put on some music, and my brain seemed to focus in on each separate sound layer at once, in incredible detail, and with no other layer being lost to the focus. I could see the sound emanating from the speakers, and watch the waves bounce to the bass and flow with the synths. I could see the sound traveling to my ear, and once it reached them, I could feel the music throughout my body, an incredibly warm feeling soaking over me, as if my mind was being broken open.

The peak lasted for what I felt was an eternity, but was likely only around 8 hours real time. The comedown was the most beautiful part of this experience. I was slowly regaining memory, and I could finally understand what I was actually doing. Around 20 hours in, I started to land back to reality, but it felt like waves of ego death were hitting me. For 10 minutes, I would start to remember reality, and then the next 10 minutes, it would all go away.

and I would experience ego death once again. This went on for hours. The total time of this trip was about 26 hours, and then I was ultimately able to fall asleep. The way I see it is that the stronger your ego is, the more terrifying, painful, and horrible your ego death is going to be. The stronger it is, the harder it is to let it go. I now see my life as before this trip and after.

I now feel that I am completely changed as a person. My biggest takeaway from this trip? I realized that death is apparent. However, I am much more confident that there is more to this life than what we are experiencing now. It helped me to be accepting of death and the nature of it. I can live every day like it's my last now. I will never take a dose this big ever again, and I likely won't take LSD again for several years. I cannot in good faith

Recommend this level of dose to someone who's just looking for the body high and to feel good. This dose will make you forget what it's like to feel good. If you want to understand who you truly are and experience death without actually dying, then you're the person that I would suggest this dose to. Just know, it'll be nothing how you think it will be, and how you come out on the other side is completely up to you. I just wanted to share my story with anyone that's willing to listen. Don't feel the need to reply.

as this is likely for my own satisfaction. A little bit of backstory here before I get into the meat of it all. As I tell this, I'm 20 years old, male, and for the entirety up until my acid trip, I'd been very outgoing and extroverted. I never had any trouble making friends growing up and was very sociable. I was gifted in making people laugh with ease, especially in high school, where all my friends would just die laughing at whatever I would say. I don't want to sound douchey or self-centered, but it was true.

I embodied sort of the class clown, but I never felt the need to impress people. I just did stupid, silly things because I genuinely found them funny. I always had multiple people I could go up to and tell my deepest, most personal feelings and emotions, and know that they wouldn't judge me for it. I also wasn't shy around the opposite sex. I'd have no problem going up to a random girl and simply striking up a conversation. All of this sounds wonderful, and believe me it was, but there was one thing that would happen

that was very odd. At the end of the day, when I was alone and about to go to bed, I would have this nagging thought in the back of my head that everyone thought I was weird. This only would happen when I was completely alone with my own thoughts. It didn't make any sense because I had so many friends and was able to talk to anyone with ease. But nonetheless, it would appear almost every time I was alone, which thankfully wasn't often at all. I'll come back to this later. So in high school,

Specifically sophomore and junior years. I started to smoke a lot of weed. It started off just being once or twice a month, but by the end of 11th grade, I was smoking multiple times a day, every day. Eventually I got bored and decided that now is my time to try acid for the first time ever. I did it at my house with two of my closest friends, and we had an absolutely amazing time. I won't go into the details of that trip,

But that day, I still considered it to be one of the most profound and beautiful experiences of my life. That pushed me to try acid another time, with the same group of friends, and once again, it was amazing. It wasn't until my third time tripping that something terrible happened, something that would change my life forever, and obviously, I don't mean in a good way. So it was the night before Thanksgiving of 2018, and we were all planning on doing a tab each.

This evening, I was with a different group of friends, my high school friends, instead of my childhood best friends, and I think that if I had to put a finger on it, this may have been the seeds of what caused me to have such a bad trip. But anyway, we all took the tabs at around 10pm, when at around 10.45, I started feeling the jittery, almost amphetamine-like come-up buzz, but unlike the previous two occasions, it was very uncomfortable. By 11.30, I had fully begun to trip.

with visuals and everything else. And right around this point is where things started to go south. My one friend started freaking out really badly. He had strict parents, and was worried, undoubtedly, that they were somehow going to find out. We tried our best to calm him, but nothing seemed to work. He got up and started pacing back and forth around the room, and his own nervousness and paranoia caused me to begin my own negative spirals.

Remember how I said before that when I was alone, I would have that thought in the back of my mind that people thought I was weird? Well this time, the thought was front and center while I was around others. I started thinking that everybody secretly hated me and that none of my friends were actually my friends. Whereas before I would be able to just brush it off and go to sleep, this time I kept thinking it over and over again, unable to shake it.

It got worse and worse until eventually I didn't know who I even was. My friends obviously knew something was up, but when they would come up to me and ask what was wrong, I was nearly unable to speak. The only words that I could form were "I don't know," "Yeah," or "I'm good." I couldn't for the life of me form complete sentences.

Which only seemed to worsen my trip because I couldn't shake the feeling that I was crazy and f*cked up because I couldn't do what my friends were so easily able to do right then and there. It was just this never-ending cycle of terrifying, dark thoughts for nearly eight hours straight. Needless to say, I didn't sleep at all that entire night. From that point on, the visuals and physical sensations that came with this trip were nothing compared to the mental toll that it took.

From that night on, my life has never been the same. Those terrible thoughts that I was repeating over and over that evening have stayed with me ever since. Every single time I try to talk to another person, all I can think about is how weird that person thinks I am and how uncomfortable I must be making them. I can't even order a meal at Wendy's without thinking that that person behind the register hates me. It's literally all I can think about anytime I'm talking to anyone. It got so bad at one point,

that I had a psychotic episode and thought that the world was a simulation and that surely nothing was real. I was hospitalized against my will for 10 days and I'm no longer the happy, outgoing kid that could talk to anybody. I'm an absolute shell of my former self that can barely even communicate with even my closest friends. Nothing feels real anymore. I don't feel any genuine human connections with anyone. I've had multiple therapists and been on five or six different medications.

but none of them have worked. I don't know if I'll ever be the same person as I was before, and that terrifies me. All I want is to make other people happy, but I know that I'll never be able to do that until I'm happy myself. I know that I said at the beginning, feel no need to respond to this, but if anybody's experienced anything similar to this, please let me know. This is something that I'm desperate for answers on.

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This story is from when I was 17, a point where I had taken acid twice before. I had handled it well both times, so I went into this particular trip with a false sense of confidence. That evening, my goal was to sit still for around 8 hours, all with my eyes closed, while listening to the entire Pink Floyd discography, watching nothing but my closed-eye visuals. I had meditated a lot prior to this trip, and I really thought that it was something I could handle.

My parents both had work in the morning, so I figured that they'd be asleep by around 9pm. So I dosed myself at 8pm, and as soon as I began coming up, I realized that I fucked up. It wasn't like the other two times. It was much more intense, probably because I had upped the dosage. This story could last hours, because there's so much to it, but I began feeling scared within the first two hours due to the growing intensity of the drug and also my fading confidence.

I ran over to my computer and clicked on Discord hoping to find a friend that I could talk to to put me in better spirits. My friend D was in a lobby, so I explained to him what was going on and he said, "Oh man, if that's the same stuff M took earlier, then you got NBOM, man." For anyone that doesn't know what NBOM is, it's a chemical similar to LSD and is sold commonly on tabs disguised as LSD because it's cheaper, it's nowhere near as safe,

and can leave all kinds of long-lasting problems, and in some cases, can be lethal. Dee finished up by saying, "Those tabs likely aren't real, man. Just be safe. Sit tight and pray that it won't last long." So obviously, in my LSD-induced headspace, I left Discord and immediately started panicking. I called my other friend, who had taken these tabs previously, and he sounded angry that I was scared. He talked in a rough tone and kept asking me why I was acting like this.

which made me feel even more stupid. That's when I began pacing my room. I remember feeling like my walls were morphing into each other, and my posters were dancing, and the music I had on sounded menacing, far from calming. My room is pretty small, so I realized I was stuck in the confines of this tight room for the next 12 hours. Shortly before my peak, I got a text from my mom at around midnight, saying, "Why can I hear you walking all over your room upstairs? Are you okay?"

You're starting to worry me. This is when my panic really set in. I somehow managed to type back and make up a story about pulling an all-nighter with some friends online. I dropped my phone, and I remember the worst anxiety I had ever felt began kicking in. It felt like electricity flowing through my neck, which caused a physical pain and brought me to my knees. I'm guessing now that it was something like a panic attack. I felt myself losing my sense of self, forgetting my name.

forgetting where I was. I was just a scared child lying on my floor. My vision field became totally fucked. I no longer could see my room. It was only fractals. I became basic awareness with no memories, no ego, or anything of the sort. I became a fractal, and I thought that's all I would ever be. Just one small speck in this infinite world of fractals. In hindsight, it was actually quite beautiful. I'd like to revisit that world at some point.

Just not with my mom texting me. I believe I was having something like an ego death, although I hate to label it. I didn't want to let go. I felt like I had to fight the drug to stay sane enough to text my mom back. So I recall forcing myself up and FaceTiming my friend and begging him, please man, don't let them take me. I have to stay here. If they come again, I could go crazy. I won't be in charge of my actions anymore. I don't want to lose myself again. Please just talk to me and don't let them take me.

That friend of mine, one who I'll consider a good guy for the rest of my life, stayed on FaceTime with me for around 4 hours, just listening to me rant about these beings taking me. I thought that the fractals were evil beings, trying to rip my ego from me and make me into one of them. I even have a journal entry in my room somewhere, one that I wrote while on the phone with him saying something along the lines of, "Should I just go with them?" Kinda creepy stuff actually.

I spent the rest of the trip caught in a loop playing one Crash Bandicoot level on my PlayStation. I believe it was called High Road. I probably died in the same spot over and over for around five to six hours. Eventually, playing a particular Beatles album made me calm down some, but I was still terrified for the remainder of the trip. At one point, I had to take a piss, but I knew I was tripping too hard to go downstairs to the bathroom, so I found an empty water bottle and positioned myself over it.

I probably stood there trying to figure out how to pee for 10 minutes. I don't know what I was doing wrong, but I just couldn't get it out. Once I had finally achieved urination, it felt too intense for me to handle. It was like I was draining my life force. It wasn't until after I peed that I looked down and realized I had completely missed the bottle and had left my entire floor all soggy. Yeah, pretty much a textbook bad trip. But a long, long story made just a little bit shorter. I eventually came down,

Sadly, I went into a psychosis that lasted for nearly 20 hours. I had to talk to my parents the next morning for lunch, and my pupils were still huge. Their faces were still morphing as I was talking to them. It was an absolute nightmare. My mom had made burritos and put one on my plate, but I was unable to get it down. So I found a way to make them leave the room before running upstairs, pulling all of the tissues out of a tissue box, putting the burrito in said tissue box.

before replacing the tissues in the box, and burying the box within a drawer before moving my bed in front of the drawer to make sure my parents couldn't find the uneaten burrito. Because in my deluded mind, I was sure that if my parents knew that I didn't eat, they would have known I was on acid. And like I said, I definitely went crazy. There was a lot more to it, but I feel like these are the important parts. This was a lot for a 17-year-old with already bad anxiety to handle.

I was left with so much more anxiety in return. It's been over a year since this happened, and through meditation and lots of talks with my friends, I feel much better, a bit closer to the person that I was before I dosed, although I still hold a lot of the lessons deep down. I've taken LSD a few times since, but in much smaller doses. I don't blame the drug. Obviously, it was my setting that did it, although if it was fake LSD in the first place,

Maybe I should blame the drug.