The Magnus Protocol 6 – Introductions
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Hi folks, Billy Hindle here, the voice of Alice Dyer in The Magnus Protocol. Today I just wanted to take some time to run you through some of the exciting Magnus merchandise, as well as affiliate links, a brand new way to support the show. You can find affiliate links in the description of all new episodes. If you are based in the UK, be sure to check out Phantom Peak, a unique, immersive, open world adventure in London. Use the link in the show notes or code RUSTY to get 15% off tickets.

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Hi, everyone.

It's Anusha here, voice of Gwen in The Magnus Protocol. Today, I'm here to advertise a very exciting back-hit crowdfund that we will be using to raise funds for the Magnus Protocol mystery board game. We are working with the amazing and talented team from Indie Boards and Cards, the team behind some other extremely successful board games, such as The Resistance, Coup, The Sherlock Files...

and Flashpoint Fire Rescue. The Magnus Protocol Mysteries will be an easy-to-learn puzzle game, bringing you a series of engaging cases to solve and supernatural problems to resolve. The game will also feature brand new audio recordings from the cast of The Magnus Protocol. For more information, or to sign up to be notified of the launch of the crowdfund,

go to www.rustyquill.com forward slash board game, where you can sign up for email updates. Or, for $1, you can also sign up for an early backer reward. This episode is dedicated from Eric Crabtree to Lawanda Anderson. You will always be my chipmunk and I love you always. You taught me that it's okay to seek help and know my value as a person. I spent so much time hunting for reasons to exist and with help I learned that the reason lives inside me all along.

This world shines brighter because you exist in it. I love you always. Rusty Quill presents The Magnus Protocol Episode 6 Introduction Da da da, da da da

Not helping, Alice. I'm sorry. I'm meant to be helping now. I'm going to go get another coffee. Have you considered simply bypassing your mouth altogether and injecting the beans directly into your bloodstream? Great idea. Why didn't I think of that? Not enough coffee beans in your blood. Of course.

Real talk, though. If the first three coffees haven't helped, I wouldn't get another. More caffeine isn't going to make you more awake. It's just going to make you shake and puke. I'll have to risk it. I'm really struggling here. Oh, sure. Ignore the woman who's worked nights for almost a decade. What would she know? So what would you suggest? Going back in time and buying those blackout curtains like I told you to. I know, I know. I just...

We barely see the sun as it is. It feels wrong to actively shut it out entirely. Oh, Sam. The sun is the enemy. It rules the world of light, but we who dwell in darkness feel only its wrath. Get the curtains. Yeah, maybe. Or get fired for falling asleep at your desk. Your call.

Incidentally, did you know you make this adorable little "blem" noise when you drop off? You really punish people for daring to be your friend. You know that, right? My justice is harsh but fair. Anyway, you best get your nap out of the way. We need you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when you meet the new guy. Aren't I the new guy?

Is someone else leaving? Hope not.

But this job is kind of a high turnover, right? Selina likes to hire a couple of replacements when an old-timer leaves. What? And just assumes one of them won't stick it out? She's usually right. And at this exact moment, my snoozy darling, the smart money's not on you. What happens if both of us thrive here? Then we draw lots and one of you gets eaten at the Christmas party. Well, let's hope the new guy isn't too stringy. Ooh, fighting words.

Hey Gwen, you hear we've got a new hire coming in? Whoop-de-doo. Not you too. Training someone up takes a lot of time and we're massively behind as it is. True, but once they're trained up, it's another pair of hands to help. If they stick around. Which they won't. Now, like I said, massively behind. Sure, sorry.

Emergency, which service? What a fantastically good question. Police, ambulance or fire? Well, no one's on fire, so probably not that one. Although they also do rescue, don't they? And this poor fellow really would benefit from a bit of rescuing right now. Sir, describe the situation and I can transfer you as appropriate. Hang on, I'll ask him.

*laughs*

Sir, can I please have your location? Oh, I thought you got it automatically. Not on mobile, so... Wonderful! I have longer than I thought. In that case, we'll have a little natter at our end and call you back once we've come to a decision about which service. Sir, don't hang up. Emergency, which service? We've been discussing it and we're going to go with police. Final answer. Transferring you now.

Police, what's your emergency? Yes, hello police. I've got a man here and, well, let's just say he's been quite stabbed. Are you in any danger? Me? Gosh, no. No. I suspect he thought I was at first though. The way he postured and pulled out his little knife. Is the attacker still in the area? Oh yes, very much so.

Although I really wouldn't go so far as to call him an attacker. In fact, in many ways it was an act of affection by the end.

An embrace. A cuddle even! Yes, let's call it a cuddle! Are you sure you're okay? Panic is normal in these situations. Have you been hurt? Of course it hurts, how couldn't it? But I've come to rather enjoy the pain by now. All those teeny tiny holes, bright and sharp.

I'm gonna need you to stay with me. The man, the one you said was stabbed, is he still there? I doubt he's going anywhere ever again. Is he breathing? Does he need an ambulance? Absolutely. But that isn't the real question, is it? I could dispatch an ambulance, but I need your location. Do you know your address? Do you know where you are? I know exactly where I am. I grew up here, you know.

It was a decent place back then. Nice people lived here, you understand. Not like now. Now it's a dreadful place. Not safe to walk at night. I take some pride in that, actually. Sir, I need an address or a landmark. Tell me where you are. Oh, the land is definitely marked now, same as me. And it feels... good. It satisfies in a way I never really thought anything would.

It fills that hollow, lonely hole inside quite nicely. It's not sadism or masochism. I tried both of those already. I think it's the fear. The look in their eyes once they realise their mistake. And it just makes me want to hold them close. So I do. The injured man, did you stab him? Ah, well, that's a tricky one. Sort of.

In many ways, he stabbed himself on me. By the time he saw the needles, we were already very close. Close enough to smell his sweat and cheap aftershave. In fact, he barely had time to be afraid before we embraced. He's terrified now, of course. I need to put you through to my supervisor. If you leave this call, I shall embrace him again and I sincerely doubt he would survive.

You know what? I'd like to change my answer. I did stab him, yes. I certainly repositioned myself to make sure he got some in his face. In the eyes. Does that count? He keeps touching them like he's going to be able to pull all the metal out, but I told him it will only drive them deeper.

It won't last too long, thankfully. He'll finish bleeding out any minute now. But in the meantime, that fear... Wafting off him as he lies there. Half afraid of death and half afraid of living with what has happened to him. It's quite delightful. And it drowns out the aftershave nicely. Give me your address and remain where you are. Do I frighten you, Mr. Operator?

Is that why you called? To try and scare whoever picked up? Call it a set, but you're not afraid, are you? Unsettled, off balance, but nothing more. Why is that?

Guess I'm just not scared of needles. Not scared? This isn't some poxy blood test, some little pinprick. This is hundreds, thousands of razor-sharp points pushing into your flesh. We're talking about the embrace of an Iron Maiden, an excruciating agony formed from a thousand tiny hurts. Sir, you're clearly not well, and I believe you've hurt someone who may have tried to mug you, so if you give me your location, I can send someone over to help.

Oh, I see. You don't believe me. Yes, I suppose that makes sense. It is somewhat outlandish. That's only exacerbated by the distancing effect of the phone. Yes, the more I think on it, the more obvious it is that this call was never going to give me what I was after. I wonder, though, which of the police contact centers you're hiding in. Hendon?

Excuse me? I'm transferring you to my supervisor now.

Then I'll be going. I've no interest in speaking to them. And besides, we agreed that if you left the call, my friend here would have a last little cuddle before I go. I do hope we speak again soon, Mr. Operator. See if we can't find some other frightful little pinpricks we can explore together.

Is that it? Is what it? The case. It just kind of ends. What's up with it? Didn't you hear it? I barely hear my own. You tune them out after a while. It was a pair of emergency service calls. Oh yeah, you're not getting any closure from those. You might be assigned a follow-up coroner's report if something weird happens to the body, but that's pretty rare. Why? Were you enjoying it? I wouldn't exactly go that far. Well, who knows? Maybe you'll get lucky and they'll kill again.

What was it? Like a guy made of needles, I think. Needles? Is that scary? I've been working here so long I can't tell anymore. Maybe if you're scared of needles? To be fair, he did sound kind of sensitive about that.

Good evening, everyone. Lena! Little Bird told me the new hire was coming in today. Please refrain from referring to me as a little bird, Alice. Big Bird, then. So, where's the fresh meat?

She is getting a cup of coffee from the break room. Her name is Celia, and I trust you will all make her feel welcome. I'll certainly try. Lena, these little donuts are amazing. Where did you get them? Celia, these are your co-workers. Oh, God. Sorry.

Hello, everyone. That's all right. We're a bit of a letdown after the mini-donuts. Lena likes to put them out when someone new joins our little family. Just ensure you eat them on sight. Now, I'll leave you all to get acquainted. I have some intake paperwork to finish. Alice, I'll have a word with you about training later tonight. Celia, come by my office once you're done here. We have some last papers to sign. Will do.

So, yeah. Never worked somewhere with mini-donuts before. I wouldn't get too excited. They're probably still left over from when Sam joined us. Well, I like them just fine. You're Sam, then? Yep. Only just joined myself. Awesome. Actually, can I ask you a question? Your interview... Oh my god, yeah, super weird, right? Thank you! I was sat there like...

You should both be proud. Lena only tries to talk you out of it if she thinks you're worth talking to in the first place. Yeah? It's been a while since I had an interview, but that was... Yeah, she used to have a real problem with turnover. People would take the job and bail after a couple of weeks. So she changed up her interview style to make sure she only got people who were... Suitable. Desperate. And I'm both. The system works. Also, I don't know if I caught your name. Alice. Alice.

I'm the longest inmate down here, so let me know if you have any questions. Where are the toilets? Do they have any sharper knives? How do I make the nightmares stop? Anything at all. And that chatterbox over in the corner is Gwen. Sorry, Celia, was it? It's lovely to meet you. I hope you have a good time here. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do. Sure, no worries.

I'll be honest, I thought there'd be more people working here given the size of the building. Yeah, no, we're, um... Streamlined? Streamlined! Sure. Oh, there is an IT guy as well, though you might want to steer clear of him until you've got your bearings a bit. But mostly, it's just us. Four weirdos in a basement reading scary stories. Dream job, if you say so. Fair warning, some of these cases are...

They're not fun to read. I appreciate the concern, but I'm sure they'll be alright. I don't scare so easy these days. Yeah, you've got that hardened killer look in your eyes. Damn. And here I thought I'd hidden it behind a sweet and bubbly demeanour. Anyway, I'd better go check in with Lena. Lovely to meet you all. Lovely to meet you too. She seems nice. Yeah. They'll get attached. Wouldn't dream of it.

And here we reach the highlight of our tour, the break room. It's quite a sight. While I understand you're awed by its magnificence, I must warn you that flash photography can spook the local wildlife. The local wildlife is just getting another coffee if you want in. Against my warnings? It's fine, I'm fine.

I'm still adjusting to the nights, that's all. Ah, I can't say I'm looking forward to that aspect of the job either. Has Alice tried to sell you her second-hand curtains yet? Alice had not yet gotten to the advice section of the tour, but it was next on the agenda. You sure I can't get you anything, Celia? Do you maybe... I think there's some ancient hot chocolate hidden behind Alice's secret biscuit stash.

I knew it was you, you little thief! Thanks, but I'm alright for now Sam, honestly. I might take you up on it later? Sure thing. Am I good to head back, Alice? Colin said he'd have my workstation set up by now. Go for it. I'll be over in a bit to take you through your first cases. Perfect. See ya- Wow. What? Wow.

What are you going on about now? You have got it bad, son. Oh for god's sake, Alice. I think there's some old hot chocolate. Why don't you just get a name tattooed on your ass while you're at it? You're being ridiculous. Would you like tea, Celia? Coffee, perchance? My heart carved from my chest and arranged on a little doily. What? Please, Celia, cut out my tongue so I can always be there to lick your stamps for you. Okay, firstly, this place is making you really morbid.

Secondly, if you knew anything about stamps, you'd know that modern prints are self-adhesive, so actually... Also, how do you know where I hide my biscuits? It's literally the same place you did when we were students. Back of the top shelf in the upper leftmost cabinet, where you think people won't be tall enough to see them. Touché, but you should be very careful about sharing such knowledge. Chug-o-ladenets are simply too powerful for the common palate. If you say so.

Anyway, I need to get back to... Staring into the eyes of your beloved. I'd have an incredibly witty reward for that if I wasn't so completely shattered. Oh, I know, sweetens. I know. The Magnus Protocol is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International License. The series is created by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J. Newell and directed by Alexander J. Newell.

This episode was written by Jonathan Sims and edited with additional materials by Alexander Jane Ewell, with vocal edits by Lorianne Davis, soundscaping by Tessa Varun, and mastering by Catherine Rinella, with music by Sam Jones. It featured Billy Hindle as Alistair, Shahan Hamza as Samana Khalid, Anusha Battersby as Gwen Bouchard, Lorianne Davis as Celia Ripley, Sarah Lambie as Lena Kelly,

The Magnus Protocol is produced by April Sumner, with executive producers Alexander Jane Moore, Danny McDonagh, Lynn See, and Samantha F.G. Hamilton, and associate producers Jordan L. Hawke, Taylor Michaels, Nicole Perlman, Cestius Duraven, and Megan Nice.

To subscribe, view associated materials, or join our Patreon, visit RustyQuill.com. Rate and review us online, tweet us at TheRustyQuill, visit us on Facebook, or email us via mail at RustyQuill.com. Thanks for listening.

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