The Magnus Protocol 1 – First Shift
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Hi folks, Billy Hindle here, the voice of Alice Dyer in The Magnus Protocol. Today I just wanted to take some time to run you through some of the exciting Magnus merchandise, as well as affiliate links, a brand new way to support the show. You can find affiliate links in the description of all new episodes. If you are based in the UK, be sure to check out Phantom Peak, a unique, immersive, open world adventure in London. Use the link in the show notes or code RUSTY to get 15% off tickets.

perfect for fans of escape rooms. Next up, be sure to check out our bespoke merchandise from our partners, including exclusive perfume scents inspired by John and Martin and ex-Altiora. Find out more by going to www.rustyquill.com forward slash S-B-P. Find Magnus and Rusty Quill themed TTRPG accessories, including dice trays, dice towers, and beautiful coasters from Harpscore by going to harpscore.com forward slash rusty dash quill.

See the Magnus Archives polyhedral die set from Dice Dungeon, including an exclusive D16 featuring icons representing the fears. Visit thedicedungeon.co.uk forward slash collections forward slash rusty dash quill to find out more. There are also new designs available on our official merchandise stores for t-shirts,

Stickers, posters and more. Check the links in the description or go to www.rustyquill.com forward slash support. Thanks for listening. We hope you enjoy the show.

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Hi everyone, it's Anusha here, voice of Gwen in the Magnus Protocol. Today I'm here to advertise a very exciting back-hit crowdfund that we will be using to raise funds for the Magnus Protocol Mystery Board Game. We are working with the amazing and talented team from Indie Boards and Cards, the team behind some other extremely successful board games such as The Resistance, Coup, The Sherlock Files and

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Hi, this is Alexander Janewell, founder of Rusty Quill and co-creator of the Magnus Archives, and I'm here to welcome you to this first episode of the Magnus Protocol.

Maybe you're a brand new listener who has never heard anything we've made before, in which case welcome! Although technically the Magnus Protocol follows on from the original Magnus Archives, it's absolutely fine to start here, then go back to earlier episodes if it tickles your fancy. You have picked literally the best episode to start on, so great work! We hope you enjoy it. Alternatively, you might be one of those really weird people who listen to all of the tragic horror from the Magnus Archives and are back for more, in which case welcome! Glad you're still listening.

Either way, thank you for joining us as we embark on this together. We could not have done it without you, the listeners, and the terrifyingly organised fanbase who pushed our Kickstarter way beyond anything we dared hope for. Thanks to them, you can expect extra episodes, bonus content, events, and more.

Speaking of, we'll be holding a little shindig over on twitch.tv/rusty_quill on Thursday 18th January 2024 at 6pm UK time, so make sure to come along to meet the cast and celebrate the launch with us. We'll be giving more info on upcoming events and other news closer to the time, but feel free to join our Patreon and follow our socials if you want to be sure not to miss anything. Anyway, that's all for now apart from saying thank you one last time, and telling you that it is a privilege and an honour to be horrible in your ears once again.

Enjoy. Rusty Quill presents The Magnus Protocol Episode 1 First Shift

Right, so what keeps your body upright? Ha ha ha!

Well, I'm afraid we can't all subsist entirely on coffee and social media drama. Not with that attitude. I reckon you could crack it in another four years. Another four years of you and cracked is exactly what I'd be. I'm gonna miss you, Teddy. Nah, we'll stay in touch, right? Of course.

If you think you can escape my iconic brand of nonsense by getting a boring, normal job, then you're going to be sadly disappointed, my friend. You know most people would consider civil service a boring, normal job. Yeah, well, most people don't work here. Ain't that the truth? Colin! There's my guy. How's it hanging? Is it an app yet? Do we have a minimalist logo? I assume you've finished all the social features. Can you start? I swear, I'm gonna shove a cable down that...

prick's throat, pull it out of his ministerial anus and floss him to death. Is that what you mean when you go on about things being backwards compatible? Boo! Don't boo me! I created you and I can destroy you.

So are we just leaving Sam to the wolves then? He's a big boy. He can look after himself. Besides, he's going to be working with them. Sure, but you know how Gwen and Lena can be. Awful? He's fine. Course it wouldn't have been an issue if we'd done this at the pub like normal. You know, Lena, proper procedure requires any provided food and beverages to be consumed on site.

Fair play, though. Sam's been a good sport. God knows you wouldn't have got me to a stranger's goodbye party at six in the morning. Ugh, fine. I'll go rescue him. So, insurance. It's reliable. True. Just let me know if they need an IT guy, yeah? Colin, mate, you know you're never getting out of it. Christ, don't say that. Even if his nibs lets you off the hook, which he won't,

You couldn't bring yourself to just leave. Not till you've figured out all these fun little errors. Or they finally kill me. I mean, sure, that too. Heads up. Looks like they're all coming over. Oh, great. Hey! Enjoying the party? Colin was just saying how much of a blast he's having. Isn't that right? Oh, really?

Aye, sure. And how he'd love to take the after party to the pub. What a great idea, Colin. Nonsense. Sam is the only one who's had any cake so far. And that was only because you practically forced it down his throat. Oh, no, it was nice. People like chocolate cake. People like being treated like adults. Thank you for your feedback, Gwen. I will take it under advisement.

Now, I was just telling Sam that he can expect supportive co-workers here at the OIAR. Oh, yeah. We're a real family. I'm your cool sister. Gwen's your uncool sister. Lena's your emotionally distant mother. Teddy's the uncle that just got another job. And Colin's the family's grumpy IT manager.

So...

I think we might all be dumb on cake, so I'm going to call it and suggest anyone who wants to can decamp to the pub, OK? Point. If that's the consensus, I will accept it, although I'm afraid I won't be able to join you at the Steward. Shame. But do take Sam along and enjoy yourselves.

Just remember it is a work night. Oh, uh, sure. I'm down. Great. Oh, and, Teddy. Hmm? I understand you're leaving us, but that's no excuse for being sloppy. Please ensure you shut down your workstation before you depart. Hmm? Oh, I already... Oh, that's, uh... Right, hang on, I'll... Right then, ready? Hang on, I've still got the last page to fill in.

Do I really have to put some Mama Khalid at the top of every single page? Yeah, they're pretty big on paperwork around here. There has to be a way to do this online.

What? You'll see. Anyway, hurry it up. Time to mould you like clay into the perfect government drone for the Office of Incident Assessment and Response. Speaking of, there's this box for a "Response 121" on the form. Do you know what that is? Oh, you can ignore that. There used to be a separate response department, I think, but now it's just us. Guess they never updated the onboarding. Ah, I already ticked it. Is that a problem? I doubt it, since no one actually reads that stuff.

Right, pens down, eyes front. Class is in session. Right. Lead on, Sensei? So, this cutting-edge device is known as a personal computer, or PC for short. Alice, I know you're joking, but how old is this thing? It has a floppy drive. Patience, young one. You've got your login details from Colin, right? Sure. Then bestow them onto the device so that you may gain its ancient wisdom. Right.

What? Something wrong, sweetie? Is this Windows 95? Of course not! Don't be ridiculous! This is a modified version of Windows NT 4.0, the business-focused predecessor to 95. Uh, how is that even... There's no way this is still supported. I think a good half of Colin's job is just making sure the workstations don't all try to update and instantly brick themselves. But, I mean, why? See that symbol?

FR3-D1. Meet Freddy. The program doesn't really have a proper name. Bespoke software from the mid-90s, I think. It's the bedrock that the whole system is based on, and it's been at least 15 years since anyone actually knew how it worked.

What does it do? Crashes, mostly. At least it does if you try to update it, breathe too loudly, or link it to anything developed more recently than the Bronze Age Collapse. So what's it supposed to do, then? It searches online databases, newspapers, forums or whatever for incidents, flags them, then passes them through to us for assessment. What sort of incidents? You'll see. Right, so this list is... Today's case files. Just double-click on the top one.

Okay, so looks like it's an email. And I just read it. Is that even legal? Probably. We do work for the government, sort of. What about GDPR? Look, Sam, I don't know what to tell you. This is the job, I've been doing it for years, and there's never been any problems. Maybe ask Lena? She'd probably know. Fine, sorry. Okay, so this is... Yeah, they're all like that.

At least this one is short. Nice easy start for you. So, once you're ready, you get out the binder. Whoa. And look up whatever's mentioned most in the case. Looking at this one, we go to D and... Sam, eyes on me now. We go to D and... Right, would you say this is more dolls, watching, or dolls, human skin? I... I mean... I guess the human skin bit is only implied, so...

Nah, you can only pick one. Freddy's Dummers Rocks. Right, so after each entry, there's four numbers. That's the DPHW. So Dolls Come A-Watching is 1157. Then you cross-reference with the table here, so that would be a 2-C. And then you type that into the box here, along with the date of the incident, if there is one, and today's date, which gives us...

Do cat2rc1157-12052022-09012024. And then we click submit. We'll go on then. Oh, right. Excellent work. We'll make a wage slave of you yet.

Where does it go? If I were a betting woman, I'd say some long-dead database that no one will ever look at or care about. So why do it? Because that's what they're paying us to do. Welcome to civil service. What the hell sort of job have you got in me, Alice? One where you get paid to hang out with the coolest person left in London all night, every night. You're welcome, by the way. Now you try the next one. Right. So...

Email to Darla Winstead, dwyck at mailpot.com. What? It's... Hang on. You can pause it by hitting space.

Sorry, I didn't think you'd get one of those so soon. One of what? Why is it reading it out? Started about a year ago. Best Colin can figure something broke and whichever genius made the program ran some redundancy through the sound card. Right. Yeah. Lena won't authorize Colin's proposed solution, smashing it with a hammer. All it really means to you is that it'll read out maybe one in twenty cases and won't let you do the next one till it finishes.

But... no, hang on. That doesn't make any sense. If Freddy's a search program from the 90s, why would it have text-to-speech? Great question. I asked Colin the same thing a while back. And what did he say? Nothing. He just snapped a pencil in half and walked away.

Look, Sam, it's a completely knackered system that's old as balls. Dangly, grey-haired, old man balls. And until it finally collapses forever, we just have to put up and shut up. So how do we stop it reading them out? No idea.

So now when we come across a chatter case, we generally take that as a cue to get coffee. Then we come back and read it through once the computer's done waffling. Right. Okay. And who's Norris? So, there are three voices it reads them in. I call them Norris, Chester, and Augustus. Although Gwen doesn't like it. This one here is Norris. He and Chester are the most common. But it's okay if I do hear it.

Like, I'm just thinking I can finish up this onboarding here while it's running. Knock yourself out. Just grab me in the break room when it's done. We've got a load more to get through. Gotcha. At mailpot.com. Date. May 12th, 2022. 7. 36. PM. Subject. RE. RE. Checking in. I'm so sorry. I should have listened. I just couldn't face the thought of the rest of my life never hearing him again. I had to try. It wasn't a scam. Not like you said.

He sounded different when he called. He was all eager, with an off-putting sort of excitement, not like our earlier face-to-face consultations. He just gave me an address and told me to be there that night. Grantham Cemetery. I started to wonder if this was all just another messed up sales pitch, some preachy lesson about acceptance and letting go before asking for more cash. But I had to know, so I went to the cemetery. I used to love the night.

When Arthur couldn't sleep, we would just walk for hours under the lampposts, just us and the occasional headlight streaking past. It frightens me now. I look at the shadows, not the lights. They hide whatever it was that took him away from me. The cemetery gates were wide open. I don't know if I would have had it in me to break in. I was so nervous that the smallest obstacle might have sent me running home. But they were open. So in I went, slowly, towards the grave.

It's not a big graveyard, and spacious enough that I could see the figure standing there before I got too close. For a moment, my heart skipped and I thought it might be Arthur, but... no. The shape. The shape was all wrong. Then my step faltered because I had no idea who else it could be. They were too short for the consultant. Maybe they were someone else entirely? Some innocent mourner? In the middle of the night? I doubted it.

I was scared, Dala. I was so scared. I was certain that I'd been set up, that I was going to be grabbed. I turned to leave, hoping I could get back to the main road lights, but then the figure began to speak from where it was stooped in the dark. It was his voice. It was Arthur's voice. I know you won't believe me, but he called my name, and I know it was his voice. I froze in place.

It came closer, and as the moon escaped the clouds for a moment I could make out the discoloured skin, the mismatched features. It moved slowly, shuddering towards me with a jerky, ungainly step. Something was pressed against its skin, from the inside. I said the only thing I could think. Arthur, is that you? And that voice I have loved for twenty years answered, some of him. And then it laughed.

great heaving gasps and wheezes that seemed to leak out as if through a rotten bellows. It laughed and laughed, violently throwing its head back and forth, faster and faster, impossibly fast, so fast I could hear bones snapping. I ran, and it didn't chase me. I don't know what to do now. I've not left the house all day. I keep thinking I see something at the bottom of the garden, but I can't bring myself to check. Do I call the police?

What could I even tell them? I tried calling the company helpline, but no one answers. Are you free tonight? I don't want to stay at the house. I know you warned me that it was too full of memories, but this isn't that. I'm afraid, Darla. And worse, I think it's Arthur I'm afraid of, or what's left of him. Please get back to me. A. S. A. P. You didn't come get me? I... Yeah, sorry. I got distracted.

Are they all like that? What? Upsetting and horrible? Yeah, more or less. That one seemed pretty tame, to be honest. Great. Can't wait for a bad one. So, ready to score it? Sure. So... Zombies.

Probably be under Zed, right? Yeah, it's mostly alphabetical. It's not zombies. I'm sorry, Gwen. I thought Sam was shadowing me today since you're so busy with your own massive backlog. And you're just going to let him put zombies? He'll get a mis-file on his first case. No, he won't.

You're basically never going to miss file. No one's checking this stuff. Here, reanimation. I'd probably go with partial, cross-linked with regret, but you could also go with amalgamative subsection semi... Zombies would have been fine. A, no it wouldn't, and B, there are at least three pages of subclassifications for zombies. He'd be here for hours. And

And I'm guessing this dedication to detail is why you're so behind? It's why I have the highest accuracy rate in the office. Which, and it's absolutely crucial you understand this, Sam, means exactly nothing. I'm going to put reanimation. Okay? Fine, whatever. Like I say, none of it matters, so arguing about it is a waste of everybody's time.

And none of us have much of that going spur tonight, do we, Gwen? Just making sure he's taught properly. If you want to be picking up after him for the whole year, be my guest. Gwen? What? Looks like Lena wants you in her office. Oh, joy. Just what I need tonight. Don't let her teach you too many bad habits, Sam. I'll do my best. You traitor. You wanted to see me? Yes, Gwen, please sit down. Another performance review...

we make it a bit quicker this time? You're aware you are significantly behind your caseload. Because I'm actually trying to process them correctly. You can have it right or you can have it fast. Regardless, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I see. So what else have I done wrong then? Last night at Teddy's leaving party. Party? Last night at Teddy's leaving event...

You were openly disrespectful towards me in front of the new hire. This is not acceptable. Seriously? You're calling me in here because I back-talked you in front of the new guy? I am well aware you dislike me, Gwen. And that's entirely your prerogative. But I am still your manager. And undercutting my authority in front of a new team member is deeply inappropriate. Understood. Now, if that's all... It's not. Sit down.

If you hate working here so completely, you are perfectly within your rights to resign. No one is forcing you to stay here. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Honestly, it more or less balances out. You are difficult to manage, but hiring a new staff member is always something of a pain. What do you actually want, Gwen? Your job. You think you could do it better? I do. Hmm.

I've always known you thought you were slumming it down here, but I never actually considered you might think of this as the first step of a career. Most people simply move on within 12 months or so. I'm not most people. No. No? No. Unfortunately, I know what climbing this particular ladder entails, and you don't have what it takes. Surprise, surprise. I'm sorry to put it so bluntly.

But I really do fear your ambition is misplaced here. Well, good talk, as always. Excellent use of my time. Let me know if you have any other gems of wisdom you want to spit in my face. Gwen, that's exactly the kind of attitude... Hey, it's gone in, hasn't it? Mm-hmm. Hey.

So? How's the app going? So that's it, is it? Lin has hired another smartmouth prick just to piss around and cause problems. Well, okay- I'll already have to explain to some chinless inbred politician that we're running on something as old as the goddamn Atari Falcon. Now I've got some little green smart-arse giving me a look for it too. Well you can take your funny little lines and shove them up your- Alice, don't say it. Okay? It was Alice. I have literally no context for this. At all.

Oh. I said you seemed kinda scary and I didn't know how to say hi so she said to ask about the app. Of course she did. Well, tell Alice it was funny. Yeah. Scary. A bit, yeah. So, like, how is it going?

Mate, I've been banging my head against this system for almost two years and I've got nothing beyond a bug list as long as my arm. So, not great then. About a year ago, I figured out it was written with some kind of proprietary German source code. So you know what I did? What? I learned German. Would you think it helped? At all? Nein. Nein. Well, at least it'll help if you ever go to Germany. Why would going to Germany help?

No, I don't... I meant like as a holiday. A holiday? Yeah, like time off. I hear they have good sausages. I'm a vegetarian. Right. Well, this was great and all, but I should get back to it. Sure thing. Good luck, mate. Tell Alice I laughed. Sure.

You met Colin, then? Yeah, he's, um... A grumpy weirdo? I don't know. I think he's having a bad night. And it's a night that's lasted since he got here. I'd ignore him. Alice is the only one he tolerates. God knows why. Right. So, you and Alice go back? Yeah, we knew each other at uni. That how she tricked you into working here? To be fair, she did say the office vibes were, uh...

That's one way to put it, I guess. So how did you end up here? You don't seem like the usual hopeless wasters Lena hires. Maybe. I'm just better at hiding it. You know how to work a keyboard, so you're already better than most of them. So what is it, then? The awful, terrible thing that landed you here.

Does it have to be awful and terrible? Usually. Maybe I just like creepy monotonous data entry instead of sleeping at home. Maybe. Honestly, I'm just trying to get back on my feet. You? None of your business.

Now, hang on... Ugh, never mind. Got another talking one. ...on Sunday, April 10, 2022. 3.31pm. Anyone know what the deal is with the Magnus Institute? Recently moved back to Manchester and I've been keen to keep up my spelunking so was looking at the lists here of good sites to check out. There's some great ones on there. I have got to check out the old Hippodrome at some point.

but I'm a bit confused about the Magnus Institute. It's listed under "Cleared", but there's no pictures or info. I get that it's useful to have a way of saying a place has been explored to death, but usually when that's the case there's at least a few photos that can be found online. Is it worth me checking out? It's only a half hour from me, but I don't want to bother if it's genuinely a solved site and there's nothing there worth seeing. R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by BadGrav31 on Sunday, April 10, 2022.

4:51pm. Not sure. I don't think Archer K has updated those lists in a while. Don't remember it, though. I say go for it. If there aren't any pictures about, seems like a good reason to see for yourself. R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by Archer K on Monday, April 11, 2022. 1:27am. I do update them when people send me through stuff, but it doesn't happen all that often. I'm mainly just adding stuff to Devon's old lists from when he left.

I don't know why he put the Magnus Institute on the cleared list. Never really thought about it. Maybe it's been a self-fulfilling thing and no one's been checking it out because it was put on there by accident. R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by Red Canary on Monday, April 11, 2022, 12.39 p.m. Thanks, guys. I think I might check it out after all. R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by Archer K on Monday, April 11, 2022, 11.13 p.m.

Awesome. Look forward to reading the report. R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by Red Canary on Wednesday, April 20, 2022, 12.10am. Just got back. Definitely not cleared. Really weird place. Kind of cool, but really weird. Full report tomorrow. R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by Flowers Underground on Friday, April 22, 2022, 4.07pm.

Any news on this? Really keen to see some pictures. R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by Red Canary on Friday April 22, 2022 6:33pm Sorry, yeah that's the problem, having a really tough time actually uploading any of the pictures I took. Plus not been feeling super well. I forgot how weirdly paranoid I can get after spelunking. But yeah, the building's an odd one. Looks like it hasn't been touched since the fire and that was, what, 20 years ago?

Structure itself is in pretty good shape. A lot of damage and scorching, plus the third floor is pretty much gone, but the rest of the building is safe enough. There was one spot where my foot went through the floor, but tbh that was mostly me being careless. It's got a really cool vibe though. Like, if you'd told me it was a Victorian asylum or something before the fire, I reckon I'd have believed you. Lots of austere old furnishings that are still in decent nick, and a bunch of offices like little cells.

Kept getting this sense like doors were going to slam shut and lock behind me, even though half of the frames didn't even have actual doors left in them. Big surprise was no old papers. I mean, they'd be mulch by now obviously, but all the old filing cabinets were still rusting in place. There was clearly what used to be a massive library or archive or something in the first basement layer. Was really expecting a bunch of paper pulp, but there wasn't really any. Maybe that's why it was listed as "cleared"?

Also, I don't know how to describe it really, but there was a bunch of old graffiti. I don't mean tags or anything, I didn't see any tags at all, actually. And it wasn't your standard "your soul is forfeit" spooky ruins graffiti. It was like symbols and stuff, and some pretty suspicious stains on some floors. I don't really know occult or whatever, but I don't know. Felt legit in a way most of it doesn't.

I know a few of you do graph stuff, so I wouldn't mind picking your brains about it later. R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by BadGrav31 on Saturday, April 23, 2022, 11:28 AM. I know a few of you do graph stuff. While I can neither confirm nor deny my involvement in the tagging of freight cars near Brighton, I wouldn't mind getting a look at it.

R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by Red Canary on Saturday, April 23, 2022, 12:17pm. The photos from the spelunk seem properly gone, but I did find an old wooden thing with a bunch of similar symbols on it. Some kind of empty box. Not really sure what for, though. Gonna see if I can get the light right for a decent pic. Edit. No dice, I'm afraid. Must be summing up with my phone camera.

Really not helping the whole paranoia thing either. Anyone know anything about photographic distortion? Gonna see if I can borrow my dad's SLR tomorrow. R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by Archer K on Saturday, April 23, 2022, 2.24pm.

"I did find an old wooden thing. Just to be clear, Theftrom Explorations is not endorsed by this site, so I trust you were simply remembering something you saw and not admitting to taking souvenirs. R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by Red Canary on Saturday, April 23, 2022, 5:21 p.m. Sorry, I know the rules. I'm going to go put it back, okay, so you can call off the dogs.

I don't need anonymous DMs calling me a thief or threatening me. I can dox people too, you know. It's just a hobby. A bit of fun. People don't need to get all bent out of shape about it. R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by Archer K on Saturday, April 23, 2022. 6.01pm. Quote, I don't need any more anonymous DMs.

I don't know where this aggression is coming from, Red Canary, but to be clear, this forum does not allow for direct messages to be sent anonymously, and no one is threatening to dox anyone. This is your formal warning. R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by BadGrav31 on Friday, April 29, 2022, 1:19 PM. Still waiting on pics of that graffiti if you've got them, Red Canary!

R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by Red Canary on Saturday April 30, 2022, 2:01 AM. Image removed by moderator. Canaries should stay above ground. R.E. Magnus Institute Ruins by Flowers Underground on Saturday April 30, 2022, 2:27 AM. Gross! Can we get some mod action over here?

RE Magnus Institute Ruins by BadGrav31 on Saturday April 30, 2022, 3:11 AM What the hell is that? Are those eyes? Are you alright? RE Magnus Institute Ruins by ArcherK on Saturday April 30, 2022, 7:33 AM Red Canary, you have been warned. Our terms forbid posting explicit images including gore. I'm sorry it's come to this, but you brought it on yourself.

Red Canary has been temporarily banned. RE Magnus Institute ruins by Flowers Underground on Saturday April 30, 2022 12:07 PM. Red Canary has been temporarily banned. Shame. Good job mods. RE Magnus Institute ruins by BadGrav31 on Monday May 09, 2022 7:07 PM. Any more word on this?

Is Canary still banned? Kinda worried about them after those pics. Threadlocked by moderator. Sam? You okay? Uh... yeah. Look, it doesn't matter to me, but if you're going to stick it out here, you're going to need a stronger stomach. What? Oh, no, I'm fine. It just threw me. Hey, have you heard of the Magnus Institute? Like from the case? No? Why? Nothing. Just a bit of a blast from the past, that's all.

How we doing over here? Clear your cases yet? Not quite. I had another talker. I heard. Sounds like you met Chester. Must you name them? I don't name them. The universe names them. Through me. It's a bad name. So's Gwendolyn. Anyway, it's your first night, so I'm sure Lena will let you catch up tomorrow. Because Lena is so very understanding. No, it's fine. I can probably push on. All right.

Cheers. Was it really that bad?

No worse than you warned me. Although setting me up like that with the IT guy was- Hilarious, I know. It's win-win. You get a job, I get a fresh victim. It's all in your contract. Don't remember signing that particular bit of paperwork. Gotta read the fine print, kiddo. I didn't even know pubs open this early. 6 to 9am. It's mostly for market traders who set up in the wee hours, but there are a few of us nightwalkers who frequent. Cozy, innit? It's not bad. Thanks, by the way.

It's fine. Next one's on you, though. No, I mean for the job. I don't know if I've actually said it. Thanks for this. Don't worry about it. It's not really the sort of job I'd expect to be thanked for hooking you up with. It's something to focus on. And I need that right now. And it's not too awkward working with Annette? Only if she won't stop bullying me. Ah. Guess it'll always be awkward then. Alice, these cases... Yeah?

Do you... Is there... Yeah. What's up with them? You think they're real? I don't see how they could be. Mostly I try not to think of them like that. Like things that might or might not have really happened. They're just words on the screen. I've no real idea what the O-I-A-R even is. You and everyone else.

I've checked and there's not really much info on it. My current working theory is that maybe it got set up in the 70s back when everyone was off their tits on LSD and giving ghost hunters massive grants to wave crystals in graveyards. I reckon at some point they must have put together a small government department to like oversee the spending and monitor this stuff and no one's noticed it's still going. Makes sense. As long as you don't pay too much attention. Try not to dwell on it.

Besides, it's worth the paycheck, right? Yeah.

And a civil service pension. True. I could be cleaning toilets. You wish. Cleaning toilets actually helps people. Besides, you wouldn't last a night. Stick with scoring horrors until you hit the gym and fix your noodle arms. Noodle arms? Just a pair of waggling vermicelli. Surprised you can lift that pint. Well, thank goodness you helped me get this night job to help with my health. What can I say? I'm the patron saint of cute wimps.

The Magnus Protocol is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Sharealike 4.0 international license.

The series is created by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J. Newell and directed by Alexander J. Newell. This episode was written by Jonathan Sims and edited with additional materials by Alexander J. Newell, with vocal edits by Laurie Ann Davis and Nico Vitesse, soundscaping by Catherine Seaton and mastering by Catherine Minella, with music by Sam Jones. It featured Billy Hindle as Alice Dyer.

With additional voices from Jonathan Sims and Alexander J. Newell.

The Magnus Protocol is produced by April Sumner, with executive producers Alexander J. Newell, Danny McDonagh, Lynn C., and Samantha F.G. Hamilton, and associate producers Jordan L. Hawke, Taylor Michaels, Nicole Perlman, Cetius de Raven, and Megan Nice.

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