Tyson Fury Vs Francis Ngannou, Kai Cenat Goes To Prison, & Hasan Minhaj Fights Back
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- Okay, Al, would you rather 50 black guys or 75 Asian dudes have been with a girl? - You have to choose between two of them. - It's easy. - Okay, now we have to adjust the numbers. This is where it gets really fun. 25 black guys. - Whatever the other thing is. - Seven black guys. - Which blacks were buried?

A thousand anything. All right. One Francis Ngannou, 50 Asian dudes. 50 Asian dudes.

Do that!

Okay, we're going to start from the beginning. Oh, that's an interesting outfit. Al, what are we going to say about that? That's crazy. If you brought one more sack, we could have done a sack race. How is that not funny? How is that not funny? It turned out to be the most funny. What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flagrant. Your boy celebrated his 40th birthday yesterday. Oh, God.

It's Uncle Salty now. Oh, man. And I got to say thank you so much to all of you guys, my wife, Tanya, for organizing an absolutely awesome birthday. That was incredible, man. I really mean it. Thank you, guys. For real, that was so much fun. I think that I'll be gay for a moment.

I think that like sometimes, yeah, just to my extent. But like I think sometimes birthdays can be tough because it creates the opportunity for disappointment. Like, you know, like when people aren't there for you for like a dinner or something in regular life, you're like, oh, yeah, everybody's got, you know, things to do. They're busy. They got friends. They got family. But then on your birthday, if they don't show up, it's and again, this is stupid because people are busy. But you can convince yourself there's a little devil. It's like, oh, I guess I wasn't important to them or something like that.

And, uh, you're taking for granted. You feel whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like not, not even taking for, it's just like, oh man, I wish that, you know, our relationship was, was stronger or something like that. And, um, and it was just, I mean, yeah, that's the surprise party was so cool. And then like the after party was so cool. And like, I never want to put forced pressure on anybody. I never want people to think like, oh, you gotta be there for me. You have to be nice to me. I like earning my attention, if you will. Right. I mean, that's what we do on stage. Right. Right. And, um,

But it was just, I just felt so filled up with love and it was awesome. And I just really am grateful for you guys, man. That was a great way to spend my birthday. It was really cool. I love you, man. I love you, man. I love you, brother. I love you, too. Yes, yes. But after we're here, then you do force that whatever fucking stick shit that is. Oh, dude, the medua. You were filling him up. That was awesome. You got a good hit on that. Bro, that should set me home. That should set me home. I felt like shit after that one.

Tanya hit one and she hit the stanky leg. Bro, we had to hold her up. No. We had to hold her up. She came in with too much confidence. Yeah, that tobacco came from Palestine. Middle Eastern tobacco is different, bro. It knows who it's in. Targeted. Yeah, it was just such a great, it was so great, man. I really am really grateful. And how do you feel this morning? Man.

man, I felt like shit, but then I started to recover. I'm getting good at getting hungover. Oh, shit. I think I'm beating it now. The perks of alcoholism nobody talks about. You get better at dealing with the hangover. Is that it? I think so, bro. I think so. Because the hangover I had a few days ago, I was fucked for the whole day. This one, I was only fucked for like half of it. So if I keep on drinking, I might not be hungover. I think that's what a lot of these motherfuckers do. These cowards quit before they could fully beat the

beat the hangover. You're just breaking through the other side. That's what I do. I drank too much, got in the hot tub, chilled out. Where's your hot tub? Just in my house, a little hot tub, fell asleep a little bit, woke up. Wow. You, wild boy. With everything happening in the Middle East right now, with everything happening. Your birthday? And my birthday. What are you even talking about? What are you referencing? You're not my friend. Oh,

Whoa, whoa, what are you talking about? Yeah, that's not a very friendly comment at all. He couldn't be referencing friends. There's a black guy here. Yeah, exactly. That's a good-ass point. They would never. Yeah, they would never drown. What? That's a season two that happens to every character. Wait a minute. Wait, are you referencing Matthew Perry's death? Who's that?

Oh, thank God. Guys, thank God. It's just a coincidence what he was talking about. Oh, okay. Oh, my God. I guess you didn't know that. That's why you made that really off-color joke. What are you talking about? Yeah, Matthew Perry, who's an actor from the famous show Friends, has passed away. Tragically. Tragically. He died in a hot tub, just like what you were talking about, but clearly not exactly. Mm-hmm.

Because you don't even watch TV. You don't even know that show. Never heard of it. So you weren't trying to make some edgy joke, you edge lord. You called me a lord. This is a great title. I like that. What did happen with Matthew Perry, man? This is so tragic. It's sad, yo. I'm a big Friends fan. We know this. I'm sad about this. Yeah. This guy died in a hot tub. Struggled with drugs his whole life. We don't know what happened. We're still trying to figure it out. But Mark...

It's full-blown conspiracy theory on this. A lot of people have been talking. I don't think this is true. This is crazy. Have you seen his most recent Instagram post? Oh, no. Don't tell me it's something with a hot tub. It's something with a hot tub. There's no way there's something with a hot tub shifting. It just seems strange to me. It's him in a hot tub. And then the caption just says... I don't know what happened. All respect to him and his family, but it also is weird. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, so warm water swirling around makes you feel good. I'm Matt Mann.

Him in a hot tub. I'm just saying, bro. It's a huge hot tub, by the way. He's got a nice tub. Overlooking LA. Who's taking that picture? George Soros, probably. Oh, my God. Is that him in the corner? Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought it was just... Oh, with the beats on? Yeah. Okay, so what do we think happened here? Oh, somebody killed him. Do you think it was a murder? Yeah. Why? Why?

Look at the evidence. That's all the evidence we need right now. Look at the evidence. Guys, we shouldn't be joking around about this. I'm not laughing at his death. I'm laughing at this. Look at the evidence. Come on, man. I'm very sad about that. Can I ask an honest question? Because I think the outfit is very creative and cool. First,

This is an honest question. Get your act out ready. It's not. I don't have no act out. Get it ready. I have no act out. I just want to let you know. Yeah. Okay? So I'm already prepared to just stop at the bomb. Okay. Okay? I'm not going to act it out. Okay? I just need to understand if this is like a paid thing. No.

You don't have a relationship with the... I do have a relationship with the... Okay. Yeah. And then is this part of Halloween? Because it is Halloween. We're filming this on Halloween. Yeah. Let's say I'm Scarecrow. Okay. There we go.

You could pass with Scarecrow if I threw some shit on right now. Yeah. Uh-oh. Run it back. Run it back. Run it back. Hold on. Hold on. Oh, Zachary. I helped you out. I helped you out. What are you doing there? Are you doing like a Zachary? I helped you out right there. Zachary? I helped you out. Oh, man. Fuck you guys. Honestly, that was a good joke. Like, what the fuck? Fuck.

I don't even think I was pulling a prank on you. We're not pulling a prank. Why is nobody making fun of Alex's outfit? That's what I need to know. Why are you guys sitting here on the couch? It's very out there, but it's also kind of fly. That's what I'm saying. He bombed so bad it got on our heads. Let's get out of our heads. He bombed so bad that it's like,

Stop affecting us. Because if we go at it, you have got to go perfect or else. Yeah. I don't want to be. Now, you really. What would you say? Help me. Hold on. What would you say if what if Akash showed up dressed like a human trafficked?

Damn. Act it out. Act it out. Do an act. Help me. No, no, no. Don't act it out. Take me back to my family. Don't act it out. Take me back to my family in Eastern Europe. Never mind. Is that? No? Okay. Okay. What if Akash came dressed up as that? What would we say? As this? Yeah.

That could be my outfit for real. That could be my Halloween outfit. Basmati rice, Indian bag of rice. There you go. That's what I'm doing. I mean, his hips didn't look like that for a while. Yeah. Honestly, yeah, it's we were talking about this before the pod, how how miserable you are. And I need you to just be honest with the people. Are you more miserable now that you're skinny?

No, I'm not. It's just not fun. Can you just be honest? I'm being honest. It's not fun trying to be skinny, but being fat sucks more. You can't even stay awake. That's because I have a cold. Good luck. So there's no...

Negative side effects to diet. Oh, dude, we had a fantastic dinner last night at a place I've wanted to eat at for a long time. Oh, fantastic. Shouts, and then they were just passing delicious plate after delicious plate. Shouts to him. And every time. Shouts to Emilio. I didn't know if I could say it or not. Shouts. Yeah, I said shouts, and I was like, wait, am I talking about? Who ordered the paparazzi? Son, don't talk paparazzi now.

That was crazy. Who ordered the paparazzi, son? That was crazy. Somebody did that shit. Nobody. You ordered the paparazzi, huh, bro? You just pop it out here, man. That shit was hilarious. Son, there wasn't even a card in the camera. Ha ha ha.

It was just flash going off. We go outside the restaurant. We leave. There's mad paparazzi there. I see Charlemagne. Somebody ordered that shit, though. I'm thinking they just want pictures of Charlemagne. Charlemagne also brought like a congresswoman. Yeah. They both left, though. So I'm like, oh, I think it's- What a flexing.

You just invite somebody? Apparently Charlotte goes to my wife, hey, can I, it's going to be me plus three. And my wife is like, yeah, that's fine. Like, Andrew's 40th birthday is probably, you know, some people that are close to us or whatever. And he just shows up with a fucking congressman. That's a fuck. So fire. She walked in and asked me, she was like, is it cool if I join? I was like, I don't.

I don't know. You're a congressman. You don't need our permission. But then after Charlemagne gets in the car, paparazzi still hanging out. And then Andrew walks out. Flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash. I thought y'all did this. I was trying to look at the paparazzi and see if it was our friends. Did you hear what Miles said? What is that? I walked out and we were the first ones out and the guys were there. Miles was like, dude, there's paparazzi. I was like, what?

Are you being serious? Like, how many? He's like, he's like four. And then he looks, he goes, oh, fuck. Well, like three and a half. Turn around. Did you make an off-color joke about a small person? There's a dwarf paparazzo. I forgot I said that. You can't make off-color jokes like that, man. I forgot I said that. Did we see that guy's photos? No, it was all just crotch shots. He got clear shots of me, but not the rest of us.

That was not a midget paparazzi. It was a little midget paparazzi. Oh, I miss the midget. I love midgets. Fuck. They're just so pleasant to see, man. They make you happy, don't they? Yeah.

I hate that we haven't found a good thing to say about this outfit. I was going to say something, but I was like, fuck, if I bomb again. Just do it. Just do it and act it out. You got it. You could put the midget in your outfit and toss him. And then do it. Now do it. Now do it. Come on. Toss it. Toss something. Just toss something. Just do it.

Yeah. Damn, bro. The second one was a little better than the first one. Yeah, it was a little better. What's your outfit? You haven't dressed your awesome outfit. Come on, take a guess. Take a wild guess. I knew the first one. You said it was three things. I knew Billy Madison. This is Billy Madison. That's great. What else, though?

Well, you'll see, man. I have multiple outfit changes during this episode. You think he has all three of them on right now? I thought this could be three things. He hasn't had real food in 72 hours. The cognitive function is very low right now. He was around chicken parmesan last night. It was salivating. He was angry. I remember seeing you go up to get your wife and you were so upset because there was food on the table you couldn't eat. It's like seeing a married dude at a strip club. He's just like, oh, God. What is happening right now? What was the thing you wanted the most?

Oh, that pasta looked crazy. That pasta looked crazy. What would you have done? Oh, and the dessert. I had a bite of the chocolate cake and a bite of the cheesecake. I saw you take the bite. Your hand was trembling as you put the fork into the cake. The cheesecake, I was so happy. I was like, this is life. Yeah, that cheesecake was... What are the rest of us doing? What if we do for just this episode, anytime we make a joke, Val is behind us and he has to act it out to the best of his ability.

What if that is just part of the episode? If he's willing, I love that. If you're willing to do it, when we make a good joke, and it's up to you to decide if the joke is good. I don't know if you realize this, Vala, but it's funnier when we don't laugh. Yeah, that's true. Talking to the bike. We're gaslighting him. I'm having shambles right now that I bombed two times in a row. Oh, three. Yeah.

He's got the ledger in the back. He's got the ledger. It's on the blockchain.

We got three bombs in a row here. Oh, my God. Tour announcement. Australia, we're coming. Okay? Perth, we added that second show. Still some tickets available for that. Sydney, we added a second show. Added more seats for that. So grab those while they last. And Brisbane, we added more seats. Thank you so much for...

for selling out these shows. This has been absolutely amazing. And then we're coming back to America. The first three cities are up right now for the Life Tour in America. Okay, we got Chicago, Boston, and Washington, D.C. We've added second shows in each of those three cities. Go get those tickets right now, dandrashultz.com. Thank you guys so much for the support. I cannot wait for you guys to see this hour.

Peace. Also, guys, December 1st and 2nd is sold out in Portland. So we're adding another show. Get your tickets at outcastthing.com for that. December 8th, New Orleans. December 17th, 18th, and 19th, Glasgow. We added a show in London. Glasgow, y'all ain't really buying no tickets. I'm not going to lie about it. Would love if you did because I don't want to hate Scotland more than I already do. And this is big. January 6th, 8th, and 9th.

I'm coming to see other parts of Europe. I'm going to Oslo, Amsterdam, and Eindhoven. I don't even know what that is. That sounds like an oven mitt of some kind, but I'm going to be there. Get your tickets at akashsingh.com. Let's sell these hoes out. Anyway, last night was fucking awesome. Thank you guys so much. And we got decorations in here that are beautiful. Can you address the paparazzi? That was real, bro. You're there now. Paparazzi hanging out for you. There's no way.

Hey, dude. Do you remember how he reacted when he came outside? It was almost adorable. He was like, there's no way. He was like a little kid. He put his hands in his pockets. He's like, get the fuck out. Who hired you guys? Who hired you guys? My feeling on the paparazzi is like, so I had like a dude that was famous live below me when I was growing up. Yeah. I don't want to say his name, but whatever. And, and,

And there was never paparazzi. And I'm talking about like famous, famous. Yeah, he was like A-list. A-list, famous, famous, still to this day, never paparazzi. And I'm like, and there was no doorman or nothing on the building. Like they could be right there if they wanted it. Never there. So when I saw that, I was like, oh, this is all by design. Like PR companies are doing, you probably heard about shit like this, right? So-

Once I saw that, I was like, okay. And now there are certain people I think the paparazzi do attach themselves to. And those are like people who are famous for the sake of being famous.

Does that make sense? Like they have that escape velocity with their fame, you know. But I think everyone else just hires the paparazzi around when they have to like drop a movie or an album or something to get some images out there. That's why I saw it and I was like, I'm not one of those people. Like if you like my comedy, you watch my comedy, you know who I am. But I'm not like a where did Andrew Schultz eat dinner tonight? Do you know what I mean? You should have attacked one.

That would have been the funniest thing. That would have been good. I literally, I couldn't, I was like, which person is doing this? What a fucking prank. Because the funniest thing

Would be if one of you guys planned it and then I like took it serious. Started doing interviews. And I was like, oh, guys, come on. It's my birthday, guys. Can I have a moment with my wife, please? Like, please, like, why don't you respect our privacy? Like having that footage of me taking paparazzi serious as if they should be there for me would be a great prank.

Fucking punching one? The midget? Just send him across my street? What's the point at which it gets annoying? Put him in a sack and throw him? Now we're talking. Get it! Get it! Fuck all of y'all laughing at that. No, that was a good joke. Dude. That joke was awesome. Dude, we just need one more and we can have a sack. Oh! Oh, he did!

Oh, he really went there. That's how it's done, dude. That's how it's done. Yeah, you know what fucked you is you used the word sack twice. I'm telling you.

Oh, my God. Okay. The best thing happened right after the paparazzi. Okay, go, go, go. And then one rat took a strike on all of us. The chain reaction of our wives freaking out was so funny. I know. Dub got on all fours, and he was just scurrying around. What?

And people were terrified, dude. People were absolutely terrified. They were like, Dove, come on, come on, get up here. Do it, do it, Vala, do it. Vala, go. Vala, hit it. Do the dove. The act out, the act out. Oh, my God. The dove, dove, looking for the cheese. Oh, man. Yes.

Oh my God. That's crazy. He's back, bro. He's back. He's vindicated, bro. I'm back, baby. That red joke is going to get clipped up and Twitter's going to say, Andrew Schultz just perfectly summed up how the people... You're going viral. You're going viral, baby. Oh yeah, those are some of the birthday decorations Miles got you. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'll do my best to not eat this during the podcast.

Oh, move it away, because you know you're going to eat that. Have you reflected on 40 yet? Have you taken it in and been like, yo, I'm 40? 39 was way harder. Really? Yeah, 39 was way harder. I remember distinctly feeling that. What did you feel about 39? I was 39. All the emotions for 40, I felt at 39. And then 40...

I think a lot of times there's anxiety for dudes with their age when it comes to like the things that they've achieved in their life, not even just work or just, you know, like marriage, you know, family, these types of things. Like, where am I on this course that I've plotted for myself? And I feel I feel really proud. Like, I feel happy. I have five friends. I have a wife, you know, fucking dream girl. And

My family's healthy-ish, and so I'm really proud of where I am in life. So I didn't feel that anxiety about getting older, but at 39, I was like, oh, I'm no longer young. Does that make sense? Like 38 was the last...

I don't know. It's hard to describe. 38 was the last time I could feel young-ish. Oh, okay. 39 feels like 40's coming. At 38, nobody's going, hey, 40's coming. I do feel 40's coming at 39 right now. I feel like, yo, 40's coming. You got to start. I never felt super young at 35, 36, but I was like, 40's coming now. You're an adult. Yeah. But you've already processed that, so 40 will be fine. Yeah. I remember 30 hit me and then 31 hit me. Yeah.

And I was like, holy shit, this number just keeps going up. Yeah. If you're lucky, it just keeps getting higher. Yeah. And this and then I was like, well, that's just life now. So it's just going to keep. So I think I will say this, though. That shit goes by fast, bro.

That shit goes by fast. And there's like a Socrates quote that I'm going to butcher, but like it's something about you're playing the game and there's way less time left than you think. So enjoy it. And it is true. Like if I think about how fast 40 years went by, what a fucking unbelievable. Like 20 years ago, half of my life ago feels like

last year dude college feels very living together in in that apartment that was a month ago yeah yeah and that was what 10 years something like that yeah college feels like it wasn't that long ago for us colleges 20 years ago we were freshmen yeah crazy so enjoy it soak it up and that's why our parents are always like oh my god you grow up so fast and i'm even seeing it with my nieces like they're growing up and so that's

I completely get now. When we have kids, we're going to do the same thing that the kid gets annoyed with. And they're like, shut up. I'm not growing up. And you're like, no, you're growing up so fast. You have no idea. I cherish this. I'm going to miss this. Life, you can only live it forward. You can only understand it backwards. And my dad always says that thing, youth, why is it wasted on the young? And I don't think that we waste it. Like, I genuinely am very proud of the way that, you know, I've, I guess, conducted myself in life. Like I...

Yeah, the things that I always wanted and cherished, I have. You know, lots of great friends, building businesses, making money together, you know, creating security for ourselves, family, that kind of stuff. So that I feel very good about. But it is lightning fast, this life. Yeah. And I feel like it just gets faster and faster. You know, it's like...

What is it? A centrifugal force, centripetal force. Like the further out you go, the faster you're going to keep up. That's life. Yeah. Like the further away you're going from day one, the faster it fucking feels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unbelievable. Well, man, you are. I texted you this, but I thought I was going to miss this episode. But you are. I want to say because you don't get often to be gay without being called gay. Yeah.

And this is like your 40th birthday. You are an inspiration to me. And then there's a part of me that's always like, man, I want to beat Schultz to something. Let me do something first. And I thought about it. I was like, I've learned so much from watching you be first at everything. You really inspire me beyond just like the work ethic and all the stuff you've done for me with the pod. Just watching you get...

get more famous every day and become a better person every day. I don't know if you understand how fucking rare that is. And I love you and I'm so proud of you and I'm so inspired. You're my brother. I just want to say that publicly. I don't know if people get how rare you are as like someone who's trying to be a better person while getting more and more successful. Yeah, that's, thank you, man. That means a lot. And that's the, that's, that would be the goal. Yeah. I mean, that's why it was so awesome having everybody there yesterday. Yeah.

It was just, you know, just looking around this group of people that like I genuinely care about and want everybody to succeed. That's like, what a great gift. I mean, I said it yesterday, but that is, it's, it's like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know if the quality of your life is judged by like how many people would do things for you. I think it's like how many people you would do things for, because that's, that's like a really deep connection that you have with those people, those people you want to protect, you want to care for, you want to, you know, see flourish. Right. And, um,

I was looking around this room and I was like really excited by everybody there. And it was, I mean, everybody from Charlemagne was so instrumental in like everything that I've been able to do. And obviously you building this with you and then seeing Mark, you going out to create camp and all this other success and stand up and just crushing it. And then Alex, obviously with WTF. And I'm just looking around all these different people. And it was just like, even my friends from like high school and college. And it was just like, wow, this is pretty awesome.

This is really awesome. So I think that's what that, it was easier to like hit 40 knowing that I have this room full of people that I'm like building things with. Yeah. Building with your friends is crazy, dude. I was telling them last week, weren't even reflecting, but I was just like, Oh, you know what's wild? Andrew and I started this podcast in his, in his parents' apartment on his laptop. He don't even use a computer anymore. That's how long ago. So it's just like, it's just very cool. This is an opportunity to look,

back and be like, wow, man, this is a fucking, we, we did some very cool things. Yeah. And just awesome what you guys did for me, making that day really special. Of course. Yeah. Never forget that. That was so cool. And I hope we continue to do that for, for everybody. I know we throw birthdays for everybody here and I think it's important because on that day they should know that people care about them. It's very easy to feel like, very easy to feel like maybe people don't if nobody shows up for you that day.

And all the rest of the days are just kind of pleasantries. But yeah, it was cool. Very cool day. And we're back, baby! We are back. Sick outfit change? Yeah, I had to get my outfit changed. What is this, SpongeBob? I'm SpongeBob SquarePants. What did I just tell you? You were pissed off about my favorite cartoon. Yeah, but did you know that your favorite cartoon is built on a lie? Okay, well, what is the lie? He doesn't have pants, bro. Yeah, he does.

He doesn't have one. He doesn't have pants. The two-day not square. Okay, that guy. He has pants. They're shorts. They're shorts. Spongebob Square shorts. And you know what? All the shorts are square. No, no, no. Those are just Andrew Lentz pants right there. Yeah, exactly. Why do you think I'm Spongebob Square pants? Finally. That makes sense. You've been riding me this whole time.

And they are rectangular in a lot of ways. All right, fair enough. Fuck it. So you might be right, bro. You're not wearing the costume properly. Yeah, what is going on, son? The pants didn't go down far enough, so I had to put the head by the dick. You made him a glory hole. That's crazy, bro. Who brought that up at...

Oh, yo. So we're hanging out. So what's happened after I left? After you left, shit got lit. I ain't gonna lie. God damn. Shit got lit. We're at Champion Pizza. Shout out to Champion Pizza. And...

And Foda is, Foda out of nowhere, I don't even know why he said this. He goes, yeah, did y'all hear about the story where the dad got head from his daughter in a glory hole? Banger opening line though. Yeah, and everybody's like, no, we didn't hear about that story. Why don't you explain it? And then where is it? It's in Germany or something like that? It's in Amsterdam.

Dad goes to this glory hole spot, like, what is it, father, like daughter or whatever. The daughter is at the glory hole spot. Allegedly, she's blowing dudes in a glory hole. Dad gets blown, pulls up over the curtain. Yeah. Daughter. This went viral on Twitter recently. This can't be real. That's what people are saying.

I choose not to believe it because it's insane, but apparently it's real. Dub, if it was a cousin, would it be cool? Oh, yeah. They rehashed this whole thing last night. You know. You know. They rehashed this whole thing. Wait, what do you mean? What happened? They brought up his sisters.

What about them? What about them? His whole story fell apart. His whole story fell apart. And Vala was so hurt by it. Don't believe it. Don't believe it. They made that shit up. Mark and Dove had a powwow behind the scenes. It'd be like, yo, can you clear that up for me? Is that true? Dove came to the table like, guys, I was

lying you know i was just making the whole thing but then mark's wife was like no you weren't that was weird that was weird and she was like wait what are you talking about i remember this so dove said oh he's just lying about mark and his sisters and the you know whatever you tried to back off of that funny thing you said about mark's family and then vola looks at obviously goes wait it's not real and it hurt me so bad that i'm i'm doubling back down it is real

It really happened, Bala. I knew it. A version of it did. I'm just trying to soften the... I want to get back to where we were before. Also, the cousin thing, your girl defended me. No. That is true. She's weird. She's weird with that. That made me look at her a little bit. Your girl said that she would smash out a cousin. No. She said that it wasn't weird that... That Del smashes out his cousin. ...that his cousin was giving Del a lap dance. She said that wasn't weird. What lap dance? Yeah.

In Toronto, when your cousin was giving you a lap there. And you were popcorn-ing her. You were doing that. Show her the sponge, bro. Show her the sponge, Bob. You were hitting her with the sponge. You had that sponge bobbing. I'm ready. I'm ready. Sponge was bobbing, bro. You remember. But yeah, she said that wasn't weird. And I'm like, ah, babe, come on, bro. I don't know. That's fucking weird. She also said Dove's Lie About Me wasn't weird.

Yeah, but that... But it's not a lie. Nah, but she's European. They walk around topless. So, for her to say this... Be in naked with your family's fine, bro. Because I'm European. Be careful crossing your legs, bro. Why? The camera's getting a view. Is it coming out? Is the package coming out? Yeah.

Am I fluffed? Hold on. You're giving him the ice spice right there. You're giving him the ice spice. Does ice spice have a fat ass or not? Yes. With all due respect, I don't know. It's not the craziest ass I've ever seen. Not sure.

Nah, I feel like people are inflating her ass. Nah, nah, nah. Oh, it's inflated. But it's real. That's why it's so impressive. Okay, so there we go. No, she has a beautiful body. She's a very pretty girl. Don't get me wrong. But people are like, yo, the ass, the ass, the ass. We have seen larger asses. Is this fair? We have, but they're usually augmented. So we haven't really seen bodies like this that are just born. So we talk about asses, Al's using SAT words. Ain't that crazy? Oh, I was going to say, ain't that crazy?

He's a connoisseur. He's an aficionado. I like it. I can dissect this one. Okay, so. Nah, she looked crazy hot in that Betty Boop outfit. Adorable. Boop. Yeah. Adorable. Adorable. Also, without the hair, without her typical, what is it called? The raggedy Ann. Yeah, without the raggedy Ann. Yo, I just now realized she had. I mean, it looks so much better, right? She looks so much better. She's stunning. Look how stunning and beautiful she is. That is crazy. I did not even realize.

But the hair is iconic, though. The hair is iconic. I get it 100%. Mm-hmm. No, she killed it, though. Respect. Yeah, with all due respect. Al, with all due respect, is there anything else you'd like to share? No, absolutely not. With all due respect. I can't even respect anymore. Wait, why? I guess. It's that much? Is that crazy? No, I'm just saying. The performance is great. Back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The music performance is great. Al tweeted, has that Betty Boop red dress gone viral yet? Yeah.

Twitter Al is a wild boy. What time? It was late? Damn, that's bad. I got to delete that one. I got to delete that one. I'll get on Twitter late at night. It gets wild. We got to talk about Hasan Minhaj. Yeah, we do. Free Hasan, like we've been saying. This whole time we were saying that was a lying ass bitch in the New Yorker. Yeah, absolutely. How dare she? Absolutely. How dare she tell the exact truth?

And then him go on camera and say, yeah, you were right, but you were wrong. Now, I will say this. I was right about the high school girl. Remember I said the high school girl was racist? You were right about that. Because I said he was too cute to be rejected. Yeah, yeah. So it had to be racism. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew what I was saying about that one. But the other two ones, yeah, he did lie about it. Yeah, yeah.

Right? I mean, if a white powder falls on my daughter, I don't think if it's a prank, I'm going to be like, we don't need to check this out. We don't need to go to the hospital. It's a prank. Yeah. I think you're going to be like, hey, there's white powder on my daughter. Let's go to the fucking hospital just to make sure she's not dying. Yeah. Let's call a doc.

I'm Indian, I probably know some doctors. Let's just see what's going on. I just think the same thing exists from the last conversation we said where it's like if you're lying to make it funnier, it's great, do it. God bless, do it. And if you are lying to be some sort of hero or to increase victimization, then it's corny. Yeah. And I don't think he said anything in the video that disputed that. Yeah. Outside of the girl situation, which I knew she was a fucking racist bitch this whole time. I don't know.

I knew that. That's married to a brown guy. That's what she's guilty. That's what these white people do. They're guilty, bro. They marry what they hate. They're like, I need to make their lives miserable. They hate us so they make us. That's it, bro. Think about it. If you're a woman, you hated brown men. What's the number one way to drive one fucking crazy? Yeah.

Marry that brown motherfucker. You're going to be miserable. You really want me to get driven crazy? Let him marry a brown girl. That's true. But they're selfish. These white women are selfish. They want to inflict the pain. That's true. They don't want to give all that joy to a brown woman to drive a brown man crazy. They're like, now that's for me.

So yeah, free Hassan from that white bitch. Free Hassan, bro. But I gotta say, he's fucking fantastic. Did you guys watch the video? I watched some of it. He's fantastic. Even though the whole time he's just saying exactly what everybody criticized him for, he's going, yeah, I did lie to increase victimization, which is the criticism. He's not saying, oh, I didn't lie to make it funnier. He's like, I lied to increase victimization. And the whole time I'm watching it and going, I know you're...

with the criticism, but you're saying it in a way that vindicates you. Yeah. And I agree with you. This guy's good. That's how I felt after. For real. Hamas need to hire him. Do you know what I mean? Like for profit or the IDF, but one of them need to get on this motherfucker for real. Both sides. I mean, incredible. Yeah, he's very charming. He's charming. Yeah. White bitch. Devil. How dare she? How does white devil play?

Blame him like that. How dare she? And how's she blaming on her family when you knew it was her? That's fucked up. Maybe she loved him so much she was like, I can't make this brown guy miserable. I got to find the next one. It was true love. It might have been true love. Holy shit. That's beautiful. But yeah, I think that's really the issue. And you got to get these jokes, man. You're going to get these jokes. If you do some goofy shit like that, you're going to get these jokes.

But it was very well done. I'm not gonna lie. It was handled very well. He's a smart guy. It was handled very, very well. The kid's good. Yeah. The kid's good. I think he went a little easy on the white girl, though. She should have got it worse. What would you have done? I would have doxed her. What?

Do you know what that means? Yep. What does it mean? It's when you send a white powder. No, that's not Doxin. That's not Doxin. That's not anthrax. That's Doxin, I thought. That's not Doxin. When you send a white powder to somebody, when you open it, you know how you open envelopes over your kid's head? Yeah. You know how when you're going through mail, you put your kid right underneath it and then you open it up? Yeah. That's what I thought it is. Especially when I'm getting death threats. That's why I want a daughter.

Exactly. I just want her to open it for me. Yeah, when I get a piece of mail from a no return address, I just get my child and then I open it up upside down over them just in case because you never know. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, you can't have it land on me. Yeah. And then you got this white bitch. This white bitch, dude. You know what I mean? This white bitch. How dare she? That's the issue with this white bitch. Take down Hassan. Minhaj. Yeah.

Guys, that's his name. Why are we even laughing at that? That's how you pronounce his name. Emphasis on it in a way I didn't expect. Minhaj. Yeah. That sounds correct. I'm pronouncing it correct. Hassan. Hassan. Minhaj. What's going on? I don't know, Al. He's in a loop. He's in a feedback loop. I think I am. I think I am.

So free Hassan. Free Hassan. Lock up the white bitch. And then third of all, we need to get this guy hired for some sort. You know who needs him bad right now? Ukraine, bro. Because all the energies in the Middle East, nobody's giving a fuck about Ukraine anymore. They need a great propagandist that can sell you anything. And I don't know if there's anybody better than Hassan Minhaj right now. He could be president.

Bruh. He could be president. You really want to take down Trump? Take down Trump. Holy shit. Oh, that would be fun. That would be kind of awesome, actually. Holy shit. Was he born here? Yeah. Born in very racist Davis, California. A lot of racism in Northern California. No Indians. A lot of racism. I need to see that acceptance speech from him.

when he gets up there and he's like, four score in seven years. Our forefathers. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second. Before I talk about this next sponsor, I want to tell a quick story. I got a dude named Saad Chowdhury, and he'd been a fan for a while, big fan of the flagrancy and the stand-up. And I was in London when I met him after the show at Royal Albert Hall. And...

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to one of my shows. Flights and a combination paid for. They got it. So, uh, shouts aside, man, congratulations on all your success. Keep on building. We're going to keep on building and, uh, really cool to be working together. So make sure you don't miss this. Okay. We're all in major announcement, cooking up with eight ball pool very soon. And, um,

Yeah, I'm stoked for you, my bro. Very stoked for you, dude. Continued success. And it's fun, too. I suck at regular pool. I could play this. I'm so bad at regular pool. I could play this. I'm actually shocked you're bad at pool. So bad.

You have good coordination. I know. You would think. And you would think I would know the angles, but no, I just don't. I'll hit like two or three amazing shots and then miss eight in a row. Huh. Don't make any sense. Yeah. You're like so coordinated. I think I'm in my head a little bit. Yeah. That's like really surprising. We were even talking about you with... We were playing Padel and why you're good at it. I mean, like you still have to get the tennis rust off. Yeah. But like you're just naturally coordinated. Yeah, more than it looks like. I wouldn't... Yeah, I wouldn't say you're like...

freakishly athletic. Yeah. But your coordination. Yeah. Like you can pick up dance moves really well. Like you just be in a practice in a bar by yourself. Ping pong. You know. Yeah, absolutely. No, no. I'm just I know you're fucking busting balls, but I mean that sincerely. Like so pool seems like seems like it would be and it drives me crazy. I think it's too much time to think.

I need something that's a little bit more reflexive. I can't really think. Just get it. You're getting in your head about the shot. Do I have the angle right? Yeah. Am I hitting too hard, too soft? Am I going to leave it in the pocket? Whereas ping pong, you don't have time to react. Yeah. It's very quick. All reaction. You don't have time to think. Yeah. Okay. All right. That makes sense. I can get on board with that.

All right, guys, we'll take a break for a second. Listen, it's time to learn another language. OK, open up the world to yourself. It was the best thing I ever did. I did it the old fashioned way. I had to go to another country and just live there and not be able to speak for a year and slowly figure it out. Then work in restaurants for years after that. What I want you to do is learn the language in the most easy, effective way. And Babbel has got your back. OK, telling you, Babbel.

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And we engage in some nice, fun hypotheticals with the boys. Yep. Okay? Colm, Foda, Joey Avery. The super boys, Joey Avery, Miles was there. Miles McCreary. Mm-hmm. Okay? Now, there were some interesting questions asked, posed by Colm and yourself. Where should we start? So one that me and Colm have debated for a very long time. Yes. For hours, actually, is would you rather...

Would you rather get with a girl, 28 years old, you're going to get with her, you might marry this woman, that's had zero bodies or 100 bodies? I think we know how I answer that question. I think that's quite logical, Al. So initially I'm leaning towards zero because hundreds are a lot. Hundreds are a lot. Hundreds are a lot.

She's 20 years old. Pounded. But never had sex, though. She didn't know what she was doing. I'm assuming religion is involved somehow. You got a teacher. Here's the thing. It don't take that long to learn. That's what I was trying to tell them. I've been fucking the same way since like the third time I fucked.

I don't think I got any better. Probably not fucking good. On his back. On my back. You love on your back. I've transitioned to becoming lazy. That's not lazy. That's cool. That's all cool. Come on, bro. What? Come on, bro. Come on, bro. Y'all can't look me in the eyes while I pop comp.

I'm looking you in the eyes right now. No, I'm saying like you can learn sex quick and ain't that crazy. So this idea like, oh, my God, the girl doesn't know how to fuck. You could teach him how to fuck within five sessions. It's not paddle. Yeah, but we're our age. You know what I mean? It's nothing. It's not hard. We're built to be good at this shit. Wait, but are we also 20 in this hypothetical or we're our age right now? Whatever you want. Because I'm too old to be teaching some of that shit.

You teach people how to set up studios. You can't teach a girl how to top? Mm-hmm. And now you can teach her exactly what you like. Yo, isn't teaching a girl how to suck dick a little gay? Like, yeah, just like squeeze and really suck the head of it. Like, you acting it out yourself. Spit, spit, spit. It's like a little gay, right? Like, how you know this so well? Yeah.

What's the alternative? You don't teach them? You got to be like, try, I don't know, watch some shit. You got to show it in video. For y'all, it's experience. If we taught, it would be gay. It would be like, how do y'all know this? And I'd be like, well, I Wikipedia'd it.

Yeah. Have you watched that Orono? Haven't you watched that Orono before? Yeah, sure. Yeah, I guess that's a... But that's also gay because then you're like, damn, this guy's getting his dick sucked so good. I had a different mission than taking notes at the time, though. Yeah. You're just staring at this guy's dick getting sucked so awesome. But you're taking notes from her perspective. And that's gay. I guess it might be a tad bit. Yeah. So I guess you just have to say nothing and just tolerate it. No, you can't do that. So how do you make it, like, secretly get it in her brain? While she's sleeping, maybe? Donut. Donut.

Have them fail. You have to have them fail. Unfortunately. No participation trophies. No participation trophies. Back in the day, I did that one. That shit worked. That will work. Try, bud. Yes.

It's dead ass. Never in their life have they experienced a situation where they couldn't get a guy to come, usually. I mean, it is like groundbreaking for a woman to go through that. So when they don't, they're like, I need to get better at this. I need to know how you ended it, to be honest. No, I'm dead ass. How did you end it, though? What did you say? No, I was like, it's just not really doing it. Yeah. Like your own ex-partner.

Shorty came back with a few videos to Hollywood. Yeah. No, it's crazy. It really works. I know my boy dated this girl for a year because he didn't not the first time they tried to fuck. She liked him for a year.

Like her whole psyche was destroyed. She's a beautiful girl used to getting whatever guy she wants. She can't even make the guy come. She's like, I need to get this guy to come so I can feel good about myself. Who was your boy with?

Yeah, just believe me. That makes so much sense. I think he had a problem nutting, to be honest. Why don't they make that as a supplement? Say it? We'll give you a supplement that makes you not nut. It's a no nut pill. 100%. And then any girl that you hook up with will like you forever. Yeah, no, there was a number condom. I had that shit. And I fucked, I told you this story. Oh, yeah, yeah. The materials on the inside. But.

But I opened up the Jimmy and I didn't know which was in or out because it's dark. So I rolled the shit on the wrong way. And you can only just get it a little bit. Right? So then I had to take my fingers and flip it. So now I got the number shit all over my fingers.

And I start touching her pussy. Now this girl's numb. I'm fucking numb. It's just two dolls fucking. Your fingers are numb? Everything's numb. She can't feel shit. I can't feel shit. Nobody enjoying this. It was dark. We both fake nutted. We were like, uh-huh.

You couldn't see anything. You have a fake nut? Yes. Oh, yeah. I faked that a few times. You spit on their back or you got it in the condom? No, not in the condom. Oh, really? Dude, I hit one of these. Johnny Rocket? Yo, that's crazy.

But I have fake nutted though. Sometimes you got to because if you feel the dick getting soft, it's better to fake nut than go soft in a girl. Like that's too embarrassing. Y'all don't even know what that is. Sometimes I was just tired. Yeah. I'm tired. But you can't just call it off. You can't just like...

eighth round. Nah, their fucking psyche is going to be broken. But you've done that to a girl. Yeah. If I wanted to break a fucking psyche, it's what I actually like and want to preserve it. Did you give her a hug after you told her to call it off? Did you feel bad? No, this is Al, dude. I can see him being like... Most guys would be like, yo, this shit happens. I'd be like, this never happened. Oh,

I don't know what the fuck's going on. Did you take the wheels? I'm going to come quick, matter of fact. Did you start jerking off in front of her? Like, hold on, I got this. I got it. That's the worst. If you're like, just let me take care of this. Has it happened to you, Doug? You ever get soft on a girl? With a condom on? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So I fake nutted. You did? Let's see a fake nut. You first. Nah, I asked you first. Come on. That's how you do it.

I went like this. I went like this when I fake nutted once. I like push out. She's on top, obviously. I push up and I went. It's kind of like that. It's karate. You got to do a karate move. Hit it. Hit it. Let me see the fake. You got to do a couple of body jerks. Like this.

That's good. That was nice, dude. Pretty good, pretty good, pretty good. Yeah, you got to go. Yeah, that's fire. That was convincing. That was fire. I thought you just came right back. I thought he got turned on by me. The silence was worse. Hey, dude. That was good. Oh, the silence. You put the audible sound on the third side. Didn't they believe it? A little bit.

A little stutter in the knees. And then you gotta fall down to the side. Oh, shit. Like, you gotta curse a little bit. Oh, shit. Fuck. Oh, fuck. And turn your back to them so you can take the condom on really quick and tie it up. Run to the bathroom. Run to the bathroom. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. We teach it to people at home, man. Yeah, that's how you fake nut. Yeah, they need that. All right? They need that. They really do. They need to do it. Because sometimes these girls got gaping boxes. Yep. What? What?

What? Oh, my God. Sometimes there ain't enough friction, bro. Y'all wouldn't know, man. Y'all really wouldn't know. I wouldn't. I don't get why you can't just level with them. With all due respect, I'm assuming both of your wives don't have gaping boxes. With all due respect. With all due respect. That's super respectful. I have no issue with that. With all due respect, they don't have it. That's weird.

They don't have that. What's it do? What do you want me to say? The respect was due. You think they got some? No, don't say that. Don't say the opposite. I'm not going to say the opposite. I know they don't got some fucking planters down there. I know that. What's that mean? You're not going to put a ficus? Do you know what I mean? There's no hemp in his head. We married good girls. Of course. With all due respect, I think the same of your wife.

You know it. I don't disrespect your wife or Al's future wife like that. Al's future wife definitely. Yo, Al's future wife I'm completely respected. They don't got boxes like some of these. These girls' doves be nothing inside of? Bro, what? Why is he inside of his hallway? Yo, he see fucking girls with vaulted ceilings. They're a woman and bitches. Yo, son. You have sex with girls that are looser in their vaginas?

Not ideally, no. But it's happened. There's surprises sometimes, but no. And what does it feel like? Just fucking Timberland? You just go in there and it's like Interstellar. There's just this void. Nothing on the other side of the wall. Dub, you need to find a wife, bro. Help! You need to find a wife. He wants it, bro. Because he's getting close to that age where if you're still single, people don't think you're gay. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah.

He is an interesting point. Guys get to a certain age. If you're still single. But he gets enough pussy where I don't think that that's going to be questioned. Conversation. Yeah, but never married. You don't even have like divorce two times. Maybe get divorced. That could be good. T-time. T-time. T-time. Yeah, just getting divorced could be good for you. Yeah. But no, no. Just going on some lovely dates.

I'm tired of the charade that he wants somebody long term. He does. He's lying to himself. You never saw me in love. I saw him in love. Oh, God, I'm so tired of this fucking 23-year-old love story. I know. I was 17. I was so in love, and I haven't been able to recreate it with anyone. Well, let me tell you. I'm going to tell you that story when I'm 60 if I don't find that again. This is a path, guys. But she wasn't Jewish, so you wouldn't have been able to be with her. She's the non-Jew that the family would have accepted.

Wow. You sound like Al Bundy for sex. Yeah. My high school years. Yeah, the high school. Threw four touchdowns in one game. Damn, bro. No, no, I've been in love a few times. Would you rather 100 bodies or zero bodies? The number, it's like if you threw a number like 50, 40. 40 or something like that. Now you get into the ballpark. 100 is crazy. That's why it's a good hypothetical. She's 32, imagine, in this hypothetical.

And now change the number. It's 100 still? Son, he just said no to 32. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. No matter how old you are. 32 is a lovely age. I'll say that. But you have to pick one. I would pick... He looked at her like... At 100 bodies? No, no. Something's up. It's zero. I'm going on respect. Yeah. Yeah, right? Right? You have to pick another number. Okay, okay. Here's Al. You answer this one. Would you rather...

50 black guys or 75 Asian dudes have been with a girl. You have to choose between two of them. It's easy. We have to adjust the numbers. This is where it gets really funny. 300 Asians.

Like in Sparta? What's the conversion rate? What's the number? 25 black guys. Okay. Jamaican and Nigerian. Oh, yeah. And God, whatever the other thing is. Yeah. Yeah.

You just picked like, come on, son. So, 25 or 100 white guys. 100 whites. Wow. Change it up even more. Change it up even more. Seven black guys. But like big fucking. No, but which blacks? Because you were buried. Son, a thousand anything. Son, are you crazy? Son, son.

That's like going up after Chappelle. I'm good. Fuck that shit. All right. Come on. One Francis Ngannou. Okay. That I could maybe do. 50 Asian dudes. 50 Asian dudes. Yeah, nah. So now y'all see why white people feel that way. Yeah. Wait, why? Because you feel that way. Because that's what you feel. Yeah, but y'all not Asian. But we still afraid of black dick. Yeah.

We don't want black dick mucking about our women. Destroying everything. Ruining the neighborhood. Nah, but I'm God who is crazy. I'm saying. That's crazy. That's a scary man. And he soft spoken while he fucking. Yeah, I know too. Yeah. You heard it. That lullaby voice. Give it a moment. Give it a moment. The whole thing. A lovable origin story. Oh no. You can't even hate on him. Yeah. Ugh.

So isn't that crazy? How do other ethnicities fit into the hierarchy? Okay. Okay. Ready? This is actually a good one. 45 Mexican dudes. Okay. All at once. They're hard workers. They're hard workers. They're going to put in work. They're going to eat pussy crazy. Yeah. 45 Mexican dudes. All in the same van, pulling up. That's it. Right?

They call your girl Home Depot. That's what everybody calls your girl now. Home Depot. Yo, y'all do some of these. Hey, what's going on? Or 15 Dagestani in an airport. Oh, man.

15 angry airport Dagestanis. They think your girl's Jewish. 15 Dagestanis in the airport thinking your girl's Jewish. I'm going to go with the Mexicans. You have to, right? You think Dagestanis are good lovers, though?

I mean, I think they'll have top positions. I think they can definitely get top positions whenever they want. And no stash. They probably eat box crazy. Oh, they are mucking. They are going for it. And are they circumcised Russians? Have to be. Must be. Yeah, have to be. It's cold over there, bro. They need it. Muzzy. Wow.

I'm just saying, bro. That was crazy. That fucking airport shit was terrifying. Yeah, that was wild. Did you see the video of that? Yeah. I liked that the captain was like, please don't open the door. And I was like, who's going to open the door? The captain was telling them not to open it? Yeah, he was like, please don't open the door under any circumstances. I was like, yeah, dude, it's the purge outside. It literally looked like that. Yeah, it was wild. I mean, there could have been a daggers on the plane and be like, I'm pulling this slide. Sleeper cell? Oh.

He was inside the whole time? Why would he be in Tel Aviv? So if you guys don't know what we're talking about, there was this plane that flew, I guess, from Tel Aviv and it had to stop to get refueled, I think, in Dagestan. And then apparently the Dagestanis heard about it and they rushed to the airport. But like...

chimp empire style. This shit was crazy. Are you letting us see that? I think because they're white. But they were there and the TSA was like, I ain't fucking with these motherfuckers. Those guys are Dagestani too. Yeah, but they know, bro. That's how crazy it is. They knew it, bro. It was absolutely nuts. UFC 294, seven of them fought. Seven victories. Bro. But they were in the homeland. They got charged up for their powers. Do we know what happened to the Jews from the plane?

I heard no one was injured. Really? I just don't know if an actual plane from Tel Aviv landed. No, special forces SWAT people came to. And why did they land there? Yeah, they didn't think that through, it seems. And how did they know? There's a lot of things going on here that are peculiar. Yeah, who's following flight patterns? Like, that seems suspect. Mm-hmm. Right?

Mm-hm, let's get into the conspiracy, twist that stash, Mark. What do you think? That light on, Mark. Talk to me, Mark, what do you think? Let's get that light going. I don't know, maybe that's Dagestan, though. Maybe there's not that much going on, and there's one WhatsApp group chat. And they're just watching flight patterns? And they're just watching anything that comes in. There's nothing else to watch. Eating bananas with their feet and watching flight patterns? Wrestling bears eating bananas? What else do they do over there? The only videos I see from Dagestan is them swimming in the cold water and then wrestling a bear.

So it's not crazy. So they hear a Jews coming to town. Yeah. And they're going there to refuel. Bro. So what is the headline? You know, what is the headline? I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it, dude. I'm not crazy in this time. I think what Mark is trying to imply.

That they were gassing up the Jews in Dagestan. I think that's what you're trying to plot. You're going too far, bro. I'm just saying it seems like that's what you were trying to plot. I think they heard it and they tried to pile on. Oh. That was a miscommunication from the newspaper, I think. Oh, my Lord. I'm not positive exactly what happened. Well, that should not happen. You should stop doing that. I agree. They should stop doing that immediately. I think we could push back against that. I think we have unilateral support. Yeah. Unilateral. Nice. Did I use that word right? I think so. I'm 40, bro.

I'm 40. I got vocabulary. You know what I mean? I'm 40, bro. I'm Uncle Schultz, man. I'm Uncle Schultz. I'm 40, bro. Yo, people, this is what 40 looks like. This is 40, bro. This is what y'all got to look forward to. If you're lucky, this is what you get. Remember when you told the Congresswoman where we were going later that night? Oh, yeah. The Congresswoman came to the dinner. And I told her, I was like, yeah, if you guys want to come later, we're going to go to room 40.

And she was like, what's that? I was like, room for these nuts. What's up with that chicken parm? Y'all want to share some of that chicken parm? Bro, absolute haymaker landed. A member of the government, bro. It is what it is. I told her she got to get Bill Maher with that. Yeah. She's going up on that whole side of the table ticket. Oh, they would die. Charlotte was laughing. The second I said room 40, Charlotte just go. He was falling apart. It's so funny that he just can't get it down.

Every time he attempts it, it's so funny. It is the best. It is the best. And he has so much fun with it, too. Yeah, we're just children at the end of the day. Shout out to Charlotte. He's on what is it? Daily Show. Yo, Charlotte's on Daily Show this week. Make sure you check out Charlotte Mayne on Daily Show this week, man. The fucking legend is doing it. So go check that out. All right, guys, we'll take a break for a second. You already know what time it is. You see the lights. It's Bluetooth time. Same active ingredients. It's inside Viagra, Cialis. But this is the chew. This is the one we're not

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F-O-R, thepeople.com slash flagrant or pound law, pound 529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. Now let's get back to the show. We are back. What else we got? What else we got? What is this? Oh, this is my costume. I have another costume. What is it? Obviously, I'm a gardener. This is for gardening. What is that for?

That's a hoe, right? This is, well, this is a, it's a smaller hoe. It's a little hoe. This is a little hoe. And then this right here is a shovel. It's a hand shovel. And this is, you scratch the earth and then this is, you shovel it up.

Okay. So how you going? Nice. A little chickity dickity. Why do you need three cars? Yeah. I don't know. It's just Halloween. I'm celebrating. Being festive. Okay. I'm a festive guy. Do they have anything to do with each other? I don't even know what you're talking about, dude.

Mark, I have no clue what you're talking about. I don't even know what you're trying to suggest. There would be a link between all three of them. Me neither, dude. Don't be honest. I'm trying to figure it out right now. Can I take a guess? I mean, you can guess. Okay, I got it. I got it. Gardner. Gardner's deal with roses. Roses have thorns. Oh, okay. Thorn. SpongeBob. Bob Thorne. Billy Bob Thorne. Billy Bob Thorne.

Billy Matt's about the whoa. Is that what you are? No, but that's one of those things where it's like you added meaning afterwards and that meaning is fire. So but no, that's not what it is, dude. I don't even know what you're talking about. I don't know why you're talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm assuming. I'm assuming there's a game with this. You got you think that they're like the three costumes mean something together? Yes. I don't even know why you would go there with that. Probably reading way too much into this.

Maybe he was just doing a little gardening. Exactly. Between the break. Did you garden? Yeah, maybe. I think in the future I'd like to garden. What's on your gloves? What the hell happened, bro? Well, you know, gardening's a contact sport, dude. Dress like OJ? I think that might be the situation right here. No, no, it gets a little wild out there. Oh, wow. Yeah. You need protection for your hands, especially when you're gardening. Respect. Anyway, I don't know why you guys don't do more costumes. You should take advantage of it, you know?

Come on. I mean, yeah. You got it. I'm like the before. He's after. We got one. Act it out, Bala. You guys are couples conscious. Okay. Listen, what do we got? Do we got some feelings? No facts? No, no, no, no, no. We got Francis Ngannou and Tyson Fury. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unbelievable. Shockingly an amazing fight. Amazing fight. High-level boxing. Shout-out to Francis. Unbelievable. I mean, what this guy did is... Say again? Robbed. Okay, so let's go honest assessment of the scoring. What did you think it was if...

Just honest assessment. I said in the group chat, I thought it was 5-5. And then with the knockdown. With the knockdown, I give this phrase. I had it 6-4. Tyson. Tyson. And then with the knockdown, I had him winning by one point. Okay. Sorry. Who winning by one point? Tyson winning by one point. He won 6-4 and then he's a 10-8 because of the knockdown. Yeah. So I had him winning by one point. But I wouldn't have been mad at it the other way.

I think that's kind of how I had it. So it's like, I think I had Tyson winning, but because Francis was coming from such a deficit, the fact that he closed that gap is the victory. Yeah. I don't know if the decision is awful when you really think about it, because people were a little bit, there wasn't unanimous support for one decision. There are people that thought Tyson won narrowly, and there are people that thought Francis won narrowly, and that's exactly what the scorecard showed. But

But the judge who had it like that was kind of crazy. There was one that had it far, right? Yeah. For Tyson, right? What the fuck was he watching? It was like 96, 93 or something like that. Yeah, 97, 93 or something crazy shit. Yeah, there's no way. How's that even possible with a 10? I don't even know. But Francis, I think the most impressive thing with Francis was the IQ. Like his boxing IQ was insane. Yeah. Like he knew what Tyson was doing.

And he had a plan of attack to mitigate it. And then after he did it, he was countering it. So that knockdown that he got, Tyson throws. Tyson has this great foot movement, great head movement, strong jab. But his main attack is a one-two. He does a lot of pump fakes to get you off your rhythm. And then he sets you up. And then one-two. Sometimes they'll come in with the hook.

Francis was waiting for the one-two and then trying to counter with that big hook. Landed it, dropped him. And an interesting thing happened. Francis realized that Tyson couldn't hurt him. He could walk through anything Tyson could throw. Keep in mind, this is who I think is the greatest heavyweight of all time. I've said on this podcast, Tyson Fury is the greatest heavyweight of all time. So Francis went up against the greatest heavyweight of all time and almost beat him. And if there's a rematch...

If Francis knows he can't get hurt, he was walking through punches, walking through elbows. Yeah, the elbow was crazy. Go like this, go like this. I tried to tell you before the break. Can you just look at your phone? You got it, done.

So it's like he's throwing serious shit and Francis is walking through it. And then Tyson knows he cannot walk through Francis's shit. Yeah. He got got. And once that dynamic happens in a fight, now it's up to Tyson to really outbox him. You got to move back. You got to stick that jab and you got to score points. You know, you can't knock him down. That's what I thought he did. He just scored points. Exactly. Because, but.

Think about that. He's going in there going, I'm gonna teach this guy a lesson. I'm gonna spark him. He literally says when he starts the first round, he goes, welcome to class. And then when Francis knocks him down, he goes, what happened, professor? I mean, amazing. And there was a moment, I think, where Francis starts to realize, oh shit, this isn't as hard as I thought it was gonna be. I'm gonna be all right. Now, to be fair, Tyson came in sloppy. It looks like he barely even had a camp. He had no strategy whatsoever. I don't even think he took the thing seriously. No.

No, it's not worth making the, what's it called, creating the caveat for him, of course. And also, you're getting paid so much money from Saudi Arabia. They're probably overpaying so much to hold the fight there. You show up in shape. You show up ready, and you put on a fucking show. If I'm Saudi Arabia, I mean, you had this amazing fight, but I'm also like, hey, dude,

Yeah. I don't care if you don't respect your opponent. Yeah. I'm paying you crazy. I'm paying you respect the pay I'm giving you. Exactly. Respect the payday. Because you're not just doing a pay-per-view. Yeah. They're overpaying.

So the fight is there. Yeah. So it's like. So the amount of money they must have paid, like, you know, they flew all those celebrities out there. I don't think a single celebrity. All these champions waiting in the hallway just to give a dap to Tyson on his way to the ring. Did you see that? The amount of people. The amount of people was insane. It was like Mike Tyson. You know how Vander Holyfield can't afford his own ticket out of Dubai?

They're like Tyson, Conor McGregor, Cristiano Ronaldo. Everybody. Just those three. Oscar de la Hoya, Larry Holmes. I don't think we've seen that since Mike Tyson. Whereas every fighter came out. Marco Antonio. They had every champion in the last 40 years there. From all these different weight divisions. It was unbelievable. And...

I mean, they must have lost in crazy money doing it. But imagine. But what did they really win? Yeah. Like now we're looking at this as a destination. Yeah. Even the show that they put on. Like, I don't give a fuck for music before sporting events. But I'm looking. I'm like, this is a hell of a fucking show. Like these people are out here. I think the perception of Saudi Arabia from the West is sand, oil. Yeah. Black cube. That's it.

Now, I think through the whatever sports washing or any of these other things they're doing, I think, and then building these nice hotels and stuff, I think we're starting to go, is this another version of Dubai? Yeah. Is this another version of the Emirates?

Oh, wow. And they got enough money to fly every single person out there. Oh, they got some bougie shit going on here and entertainment that I'd be into. Sports washing works, yo. Nobody's giving them credit for a brilliant idea, really. Great marketing. Every state in America want a sports team. That's true. They're trying to wash their state.

I always thought Kansas City was just like booming Metroplex because I grew up watching football. Then I go there. I'm like, it's a country-ass town. But the football team, they sports-watched it into me thinking. That's what North Korea needs, bro. They need Chernobyl. Chernobyl needs a football team or something. You can just rebrand. The Chernobyl isotopes, bro? Imagine, dude. Yeah, but it's awesome. So, yeah, so it was just, I mean, the winner in this fight is,

Like, I think they need to fight again. And Tyson needs to prove that he wasn't prepared for it. And he needs to dominate him because it's a little bit of a knock on his legacy. Again, I was going to ask you, do you still think he's the greatest? I think he's the greatest of all time, but it is a knock on his legacy. And what I would rather do is give Francis credit for his greatness than take away Tyson's. Because if I go, he was never that good. That's an insult to Francis.

I'd rather go, this is the greatest guy, and it just so happens this Francis Ngannou guy that absolutely dominated the UFC is so fucking talented that he could dominate in boxing too.

You know what I mean? That's impressive, though. Your first boxing match. Your first boxing match is against the greatest boxer in history. And you potentially outbox him. You knock him down once, but it's not like he's just going and throwing haymakers. He made Tyson...

to throw. Yeah. Yeah. Tyson's the greatest boxer of all time. He's not just a guy like Deontay Wilder who's got the nuclear fucking punch. He sits you down. It's over. He will outbox anybody. And you were right in front of him and he was afraid to throw. Hmm.

Now, in fairness to Francis, wasn't he a boxer before UFC? I mean, like, in the way that you learn boxing as one of the disciplines before you get into MMA. He had a little background in it. He has the background that I have. It's like LeBron played football in high school. Yeah. And then you just go become a basketball player.

And to that end, I don't know how you can. And I love both of them, but I don't know how you can not take some credit away from Tyson, because if Tom Brady, the greatest football player of all time, played LeBron one on one and lost eleven nine, I'd be like, yeah, I'm judging LeBron a little bit like that shouldn't happen.

I don't care how good Tom Brady is at basketball. I'm judging you. 100%. 100%. And I think that we try to justify it by going, oh, Tom wasn't taking it that seriously. LeBron wasn't taking it that seriously. Where in this circumstance, I'm like, this boxing, it ain't basketball. You've got to take this shit seriously. You can't knock the fuck out. So it's like, I know you were taking it seriously because you got dropped. Yeah.

Yeah. In my brain, the prep you didn't take seriously. Oh yeah. Yeah. So that's where you come in. Slop. Sure. But at the same time, it's like, you've been preparing since you were five years old, like Tyson doing 12 rounds. He can do with no training camp. He's been boxing. So yeah, you definitely give credit to Francis for sure. I just think if you also have to,

To me, it's like I can't not look at... I can't look at Tyson as the greatest right now. If they run him back and then he admits no problem, then it's like, all right, fine, this is all forgotten. But right now, I'm looking at Francis, super impressed. But I am also looking at Tyson like...

Really? Greatest heavyweight of all time? That's what my friend who knows boxing always says, but I'm looking at it as a guy who doesn't watch a ton being like, I don't know, man, that seems crazy. I mean, there's only one person that I think could potentially beat him that has a chance, and it's Lennox Lewis. Because you need someone with the size. I mean, Tyson's 5'9". Mike Tyson at 5'10". Sorry, Tyson is 6'9". Mike Tyson at 5'10".

He can't. The arms won't even reach. He just can't. It's too much. 6'9 can move, jab, throw punches, balance amazing. What do you think of Francis doing other boxing matches? I mean, go for the money. What I want is the UFC to re-sign him and then give him the bag. And then just be like, and I want him, no, no, and give him the bag. The problem is they're not going to give him the bag and the freedom because then they'll have to do that with all the other fighters. But I want him to go back and get the bag.

And because then the UFC has the baddest man on the planet. The baddest man on the planet we know right now is named Francis Ngannou. And that's no knock on Jon Jones, but Jon Jones just tore his peck. He's out of the fight. I'm also looking at this like if I'm Jon Jones, I don't want to fight Stipe. If I want to go down as the baddest man ever, which that's what everybody thought Jon Jones was before this fight, I got to fight that Francis Ngannou dude. And let me tell you something. If Francis Ngannou...

can maintain distance between 6ix9ine Tyson Fury and himself. I don't care who anybody else is, you are not taking it lightly.

coming in for a shot on Francis. Will Jon Jones out-wrestle him? Sure, his discipline is better. But did you see the way that Francis was throwing Tyson Fury around the ring in the clench? Tyson never felt that in his life. Every boxing match, Tyson never... He looked a little surprised. He was like, what the fuck? Anytime they clinch him, usually what Tyson can do in a clinch, he's so big and so strong, he can just be imposing and lay on the guy and put a lot of...

Fucking Francis was yanking him up, throwing him around, doing whatever he wanted. Yeah. And shout out to Francis conditioning.

I thought he was winded earlier, and then, yo, he was still fighting. Came back, yeah. I thought by like the fifth round, I was like, okay, I think Tyson got it now. He's going to win every round. And then it was like the eighth round where Francis was like just going. And I was like, wow, this I did not expect. Yeah. What about Deontay Wilder versus Francis? I think it would be an amazing fight. Everybody would watch it. Francis injects interest and excitement into the heavyweight division. Tyson had dominated so much that people stopped caring.

And now every fighter, Anthony Joshua, Francis Ngannou would be huge. I would love to see that. Do you think that matchup will be more equal in a way? Like Deontay and Francis just because of power? Yeah, but here's the thing. If Francis boxes as well, here's the thing. If Tyson couldn't hurt Francis, Deontay is going to test that chip. That's where I'm like, Wilder's knockouts are so savage. I'm like, that's hard to watch. And Tyson landed.

That's my point. Tyson is a better boxer, but Deontay might be a harder opponent. That's the thing, and you're 100% right there. Because Tyson did land, Francis could walk through it. And that's a problem. I don't think you can walk through Deontay. I don't think there's a human on this planet that can walk through Deontay. So Tyson might be a better fight for Francis. Right. Anthony Joshua has a lot of pop. Maybe that's a tougher fight. But this specific one, where it was a guy whose power wasn't so dominant that he can't walk through it,

And his power is really effective. It might have been the perfect one. But he's still in jet. He has one more massive boxing fight if you want. He has two more. He has a rematch with Tyson whenever you want. And we're all buying that in a fucking heartbeat. If I'm him, I actually wait for that. I go, fuck the I go. I tell Tyson to say, fuck the Usyk fight. Hold off on the Usyk fight. Let's do another fight for your belt.

Yeah. Yeah. That's the fight I want to see. That is the fight I want to see. I want to see that rematch. Yeah. Because that's what we all want to see. I would love to see him fight Joshua, too. Joshua. Deontay Wilder, I think, would be the biggest money fight because it's power and they're going to land and Deontay's going to throw. Goddamn. And it's going to be mayhem. Mm-hmm.

It's going to be absolute mayhem. But yeah, like heavyweight boxing to be this excited. If those two went against each other, who are you putting your money on? Francis or Deontay? I'd say Wilder. Yeah, just based off of, in terms of winning, probably Deontay. Really? I think, yeah. After what I saw from Francis, I think I'd go Francis. Dude, it's hard. See, it was boxing.

He was boxing and he was defending and he saw the things coming. Also, Tyson is way more difficult to prepare for than Deontay. Deontay, you're watching one hand the whole fight. Tyson, you gotta watch everything, movement, feints, the whole thing. So with a guy whose IQ is as impressive as Francis's, maybe he'll develop a game plan where he can handle that power. And also, that's the thing with Francis. He's felt...

I'm not saying MMA punchers punch as hard as boxers, clearly they don't. But he's had four ounce gloves hit him in the face as hard as possible. Yeah. Guys who have boxing backgrounds, like Stipe, I think was a Golden Gloves, he's bopped and he walked through it. Once you walk through four ounces, you put them pillows on your hands. It's crazy.

I thought the fight was going to have four-ounce gloves. That's what they initially were saying. And when that didn't happen, I was like, well, this isn't even going to be fun. But if there's four-ounce gloves, Francis wins that fight in the third round. It's over. Oh, God. Hits him in the side of the head with four-ounce gloves, it's over. Tyson's out. Most shocking result any of us ever saw. And to be honest, I think he won the fight. When that happened, I think we're all like, oh, he won. Whatever happened. He doesn't have to win to win. Oh, yeah. And that's the beauty of, I think MMA has injected that.

into us where it just like sometimes you can win through losing or tying you know it's Francis is just an insane human also what a fucking story I mean unbelievable this is kind of a sad thought but I was like man are there other Francis's that just couldn't make it here right make it to the thing like you are the goat there are these and we like to think most of them make it through but maybe not because Francis overcame everything to get here and he might be the greatest fighter period of all time maybe

Bro. I don't know fighting, but if you can box like that, do UFC like that, like, you might be the greatest fighter ever, period. Yeah.

So there's probably other Francis, just we never saw. They're working on a movie right now. They must, right? I mean. Fuck a movie. I want a video game, bro. I want to play his life on Xbox. Like, literally, you start as a kid, fucking do the mining shit. Get on a boat, make it to America, fight a little bit. The Last of Us. The Last of Us is my family. He's Last of Us, but real life. I'm just saying. I think with Francis, as long as it's not a hypothetical, but him fucking fucking. That's the only thing I don't like.

I heard you look at Francis and you're like, yo, you probably have to fuck Francis, bro. I get it. I get it, dude. I get it. That's it. All right. So listen, while we talk about some sports, it's time to get them prize picks in, them Akash locks. I actually heard the Akash locks came through. Yo, I won last week. And then this week, I did a, this is what's cool about prize picks. I did a six-leg pick. Yeah.

During the second half. You can do second half picks. So I did six legs while I was live streaming the Cowboy game. And I only got four of them. Still made money. Price picks still paid me even though two missed. Which nobody else would do that. Normally, you pick mad shit, you lose. And that's it. That's it. You're done. I'm going to hit you with some NBA picks right now. They got Yusuf Nurkic. He plays for Phoenix. Seven and a half rebounds. I got him doing more. I think he can get more rebounds than that.

And then Donovan Mitchell, five rebounds against the Knicks. Because it's the Knicks, I think there's going to be a lot of missed shots. I'm going to go more there also. So I'm doing more and more on this one. Let me know how it works out for you. Prize picks. Also use the promo code SHULTS. You'll get your initial deposit matched up to $100. That's right. If you put in $100, you get $100 for free. So you might as well just do it. Respect. Shout out prize picks, man. All right. Let's do some feels on facts, Mark. Okay. Okay.

What's the prize pick on a former NBA player, Joe Smith? Bro, legendary promo for OnlyFans. Yeah. Legendary. So I think his wife has been a porn star, and she goes, you know, my husband found out that I have an OnlyFans, and he's upset. And then he's in the background getting all upset. But it is a great way to promote.

Excuse me, promote her OnlyFans. I'm so fucking gullible. You fell for it. Yeah, I did. Did you look it up? Nah, I didn't. But she said she used to do porn and she hasn't since they've been married. And it really just looks like they're having money issues and she's like, yeah, I gotta do what I gotta do.

Yeah, how much did he make in the NBA? That's what I wanted to see his career answer. That's the crazy thing. I think he made good money. This is the most disrespectful thing about this article I'm reading. Literally, the opening line. Joe Smith, comma, who made $61 million during his time in the NBA, was limited in life. In the 90s, bro. In the 90s and early 2000s. $61 million in today's dollars? That's like $200 million, probably. Yeah, but if you live in that life, you could go through that.

You gotta have a gambling addiction. Yeah, I mean, like, you gotta try to spend $61 million. You can do it, but it takes work. Like, gambling or, like, vacations, like, spending $61 million and having no assets left is fucking hard to do without gambling. And again, $61 million then is, like, probably like $200 million now. Even if you buy a car, even if it's half the value, you still get half back.

You know what I mean? You have 31 million. Exactly. If you bought 61 million cars, you have $31 million. Maybe he's a Bitcoin speculator. Have you looked into that? Have you seen his portfolio? No, I'm just looking at his Bitcoin speculation. Are you guys in the same group chat? I'm thinking about starting OnlyFans, actually. Get my titties out there.

I mean, it is crazy, though, that like if he didn't know, there's no way that this guy is going years without knowing what his wife is doing. Right now, they know it's all fucking put together. Yeah. At first, my thought was I didn't watch the video, but I was like, oh, there's no. Yeah, this this is crazy. His wife. And then I was like, oh, they probably are in on this together because it's just like him reacting in the background and you putting that online. It's just like.

I don't know, it all seems too- Great promo. I wanna see how well it's doing. Matter of fact, we should check in on that. Mm-hm. All right, what else we got? What do you think about this Kai Sinet jail stream? Have you seen clips from it? So I've never watched a stream live, but I'm probably like most people, I've watched tons of clips from it. It's amazing. God bless the people that are clipping out these streams. Yeah, yeah. Cuz they have to watch it. Yeah. And they have to watch it and edit it down to the fun shit for us to enjoy. Yeah.

And I think Kai's been really transformative with the streaming where he like creates games out of it. And like, I've seen certain people travel and certain people do these things and everybody kind of repeats the same thing. You know, it's like, I'm going to go to Japan. It's like, okay, well now I'll go to Japan and then everybody goes to Japan and then blah, blah, blah. And it's like,

No real, nothing really unique, but at least this scenario he's creating is truly unique within the streaming space. He's creating a game out of it. Yes. And he's reaping the rewards. It's a really smart way of going about content. Freak out, man. Hold your head, bro. Hold it down, bro. So what's the deal? Is this a set or did they rent out an old jail? I think they got an old prison. Oh, that's what it is? It looks like an old prison or they got a movie set.

That was used like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm sure L.A. has a prison set. Yeah. That is built in the exact same, you know, structures or whatever, like a prison to shoot all the shows. Like where did where was Oz shot? Yeah. You know, where was Shawshank shot? Yeah. But it's great. And then like injecting all of the different famous people as well into it. Bro, he makes prison look way too fun, though.

That's the problem. That's kind of what prison is, bro. I think that's what it is. Dude, I talked to a guy on my pod a week ago that said if I could get laid in prison, I'd be there for the rest of my life.

He's like, everything's awesome. You hang with your boys, low security. It's just like playing cards all day. It's like the only thing is female contact. It's the only thing you miss. There's no responsibility. Completely remove the anxiety of personal accountability. I think if you gave them female contact, things would be way more relaxed.

Maybe. A lot less violence in the prison. You gotta milk them. Maybe just milk them. You line them up. AI, I'm down for that usage of AI. Just fucking handjobs for prisoners. Just drain them up. But then what do you do with all of it?

Like all the samples. That's actually a good point because you don't want to put it back out there in the world because then you're just making more felons. So, yeah, what do you do with it? Protein shakes or something? I guess you could. I guess you could put it back on a diet. Yeah.

Maybe you can feed it to pigs or something like that. Don't they eat weird stuff? I bet you put it in the soil. You can grow a motherfucking beanstalk. You know the porns where it's like crazy loads of cum and shit like that? Oh, use it as like a prop cum. It could be prop cum. Or an OnlyFans thing.

Yeah, that actually will be kind of fun. I fucks with I like it man. I like it What's the feedback been with it positive? Haters I mean always some people saying this is you know, the Stanford Prison experiments are like this could go that way whatever this Glorifies negative stereotypes blah blah blah, but the guys making content. He's not trying to change the world. Yeah Yeah, that's an unfair expectation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you see the Santa's get dragged for wearing lifts. I

Bro, this picture is so funny. DeSantis 2024. Yeah, I was just going to say. Can I say something else? What were you wearing yesterday? Because you were 6'4 yesterday. I would just stand it up straight because I had a tight shirt on so I can't slouch. I usually slouch.

But if I have a tight shirt on, I stand up straight. You were 6'4". Swear to God, it was these same exact shoes, bro. You must have had something in them as well. No, I swear to God. Al, you were 6'4". I was just standing up straight. No. Like, that's it. Damn, bro. Damn. Damn, bro. That was a little crazy, bro. I feel like I'm tapping into something right now. That's it. If I stand up straight, it gives me an extra inch.

I don't think that's just boots, yo. Come on. He's just trying to get the Texas vote. No, there's another one that's more incriminating. Where they draw it out? It's a different way. He's sitting down. That one. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little dark, though. That's the only thing. Oh, fuck. It's a little sketchy, bro. Yeah, you need it to be lighter, but it is bad. Uh-uh. It's a little sketchy. There's a diagram right here. Nah, let that man live, bro.

Is that false advertising? What do you think? I mean... Have you seen him walk? They're politicians. He walks on in the Bill Maher show, and it's very interesting. No. It's a little wobbly. Let me see. All right, I'm going to pull it up. I mean, he was a fighter pilot, right? I think that's what he did. No, I think he did Guantanamo stuff. I would look into seeing that. I thought he was a fighter pilot. Lost my vote. It's going to get rough for me. Hold on. Because if he's a fighter pilot, he's short. Yeah.

Why? They're all short? You have to be to fit in the cockpit. Oh, really? It's a small thing. Oh, so you calling Tom Cruise short, bro? Yo, son. He gonna get you. Don't disrespect my guy. Just say it. You said it. Peace be upon him. Peace be upon him. Peace be upon Maverick, bro. All due respect. All due respect, man. That's short. Fuck. This is a little suspect, dude. Can we get a...

I didn't see nothing weird with that one. I wanna be on board, but I don't see it. Can we get the hue or the brightness? Yeah, I don't know why it got so dark all of a sudden, bro. Come on, man. We gotta fix that. They're not holding strong in that hairline, bro. That hairline hasn't budged. Did he pivot right? I think he's more central. My long, distant view or whatever, it seemed like he always hated religion, but liberals thought he was only talking about white religions, and they were like, yeah.

Yeah, that's our guy. And then he was like, no, all religions. I don't like Islam either. And then liberals were like, well, fuck you. You're a hate monger. You're not who I thought you were. And then I asked a liberal about that and he was like, well, I just don't think you should punch it down, which I thought was the most racist thing you could possibly say. Which is like, well, the Muslims are beneath us. You can't hit them. I thought back in the day he used to be like...

far left. He was like super liberal. Back in the day that was like, I smoke weed and it should be legalized. Being gay is okay. That should be legalized. They should get married. And Christianity's dumb. That was like, you're a liberal. And now

being left has shifted more into the gender politics. And I think that he's rejecting gender politics and then like wokeism. So like you can't make offensive jokes or we have to be really sensitive about everything. And I think that shift he's pushed back on. There's like a it's really funny when we were in the Netherlands, I think we spoke about this on the pod, but like

The Netherlands, they don't have any like a... Religion doesn't play any role in the laws that they create. Right? We spoke about this, right? Yeah. And...

And because of that, they can choose the lesser of two evils, right? They can decide both of these things are wrong, but we'll choose this lesser wrong thing. For example, making prostitution legal because that stops human sex trafficking. So this will be wrong, but it's less wrong than this other thing. And then we'll create laws around it. And they're really struggling right now when it comes to woke shit and gender identity politics. They were the most progressive. They were like,

Back in the day, there's this massive gay parade that the whole city comes out for, the whole town, everybody celebrates it. Because in their very literal mind, they're just going, well, yeah, if you're gay and you like someone else, that's not hurting anybody. There's no net negative on society. Yeah, it's legal. Let's make it legal. That's fine. And there's no God telling me that this is wrong. So I'm just going off of the Carfax, and the Carfax is, this doesn't hurt anybody, everything's fine. And now they're grappling with 70 different genders, and they're like,

But this doesn't make sense. So they went from the most progressive to seemingly conservative about certain issues. But they were never progressive. They were just...

Just practical. Yes. You know what I mean? It was just they didn't- Pure logic. It was pure logic and they didn't have a religious influence on the laws. Yeah. So I think they're having a little identity crisis, cuz they're like, wait, I thought we were the progressives and we're so forward thinking and we're the most profound and advanced culture in Europe and now we're getting looked at as bigots cuz we don't believe in 70 different genders? It's kind of interesting how gender politics can expose-

what the real motivation for your laws is. And theirs was never let's accept everybody. Theirs were like, this makes logical sense. Yeah, I still like that better. I think, and I think that's probably where most people are with it, if I'm being honest. Like, I think most of us are like, yeah, if you're not hurting anybody else, do your thing. And

As long as it's logical. It makes complete sense that some people are attracted to the same sex. Like, that's not a thing to me. But when I've taught my whole life, there's only two genders. And now three. OK, cool. When you get to I think there's like one hundred and eight is the most recent list I looked at. It's like, well, now I'm not I'm a little confused. Yeah. It still ain't hurt nobody, do you think?

If you want to be an octopus, be an octopus. Yes, until you get into like the reassignment surgery when they're younger. And that's where things start to kind of spiral. Like putting them on puberty blockers or hormone blockers. And I think that's where people can potentially get hurt. And I think that's where if you're a very literal state like the Netherlands, you're going, okay, I think this could potentially hurt somebody. So we have to legislate around it. Mm-hmm.

It also seems like parents are just afraid of like the social contagion. Like, is this something that my kid would want to be interested in? Yeah. Even if they're not. Yeah. I don't know if that fear is founded. I don't know if there is like a social contagion. So they're worried about them doing shit to their genitals when they're young, but they can snip their dick off when they're a baby and they don't care. They don't get a say in that.

Not we talking. See? Not we talking. Oh, but I agree with you. Yeah. I think we should stop. Snip, snip. Yeah. I think that that's a, I think there's a very compelling argument for that. And you can get yours restored.

There's foreskin restoration surgeries. Word? Yep. Can you pick the color? Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What, you want two-tone? Yeah, you might have a little frost time. You go ice the tips? Yeah, why not? Did you see that episode of How To with John Wilson? No. At the end of one of the episodes, the episode ends with him talking to a guy who is big on getting your foreskin back and lengthening it, and he sells this product where you can clip it onto your foreskin, and it puts weight on it.

So it brings it back down. And then the end of that episode is just nuts jump scare to a man with a device on his penis that is just insane. It's a great, wild episode. You'll be watching some shit. Yeah, that's crazy. Oh, you can get it right here, bro.

Let's go, dude. Not that. You can get it back. Restore your penis. If you're about that life, restore it. You're just joking all of a sudden? Get the skin back. Stop clipping our boys. Famous streamer and I believe...

I think she's just a streamer. I don't know if she has OnlyFans. She's a streamer that's basically, her name is Amaranth. She's the one that sold the tub water. You remember this? Vaguely. She took a bath and then started selling the bathtub water by the cup and sold out, made millions of dollars selling bathtub water. She just created a beverage, a beer made out of her vaginal yeast.

I'll try it. Okay, that was too quick. These women are. You don't even want to see? Oh, I'd like to see what she looks like. Yeah, I don't know if you know who you signed up for, dude. Well, let me see it. Yeah, I'll try it. Yeah. So apparently. Wait, is that cheating? Eating another girl's pussy? Well, that's not what we said. You're drinking another girl's pussy. Drinking a beer with the boys. No, you're sharing the girl's pussy with the boys.

Cuz that is her pussy yeast. Also, wait, are women supposed to have that? I thought that was a bad thing. Yeah, it's like an infection if you have yeast. I think you have a little. So she has to cook up an infection?

Are you supposed to have a little bit, Miles? Yeah, I think you're supposed to have yeast. Just a regular amount? Yeah, and then when it's infected, that's a yeast infection. But you have it there all the time. But if you have too much yeast, then it's bad. I thought a yeast infection is an infection of yeast. How much yeast she got, yo? I don't think a girl should have yeast in her pussy, dude. That's disgusting. I think you do. I think they do. I'm about to look it up. But is that cheese?

I don't think so. Oh, yeah. I don't think so. Your vagina naturally contains a balanced mix of yeast, including candida and bacteria. So why do they want us eating that shit? Right? We don't got no fucking yeast in our dicks. It's good for the immune system. I guess. It's good for digestion. Yeah, but put some turmeric in there. I don't want no fucking yeast and bacteria and whatever else you said, candida. Yeah, but yogurt, how's that? You eat yogurt? I don't. For that reason? Yeah, that shit is whack.

Y'all eat yogurt? Sometimes. Yogurt's good. I don't do it. Also, y'all gotta stop eating gogurt, bro. That's how it starts. Yogurt is how it starts. No, I said yogurt. I said to him, gogurt is how it starts. I enjoy gogurt. Gogurt with no children? Just do that real quick. Just squeeze a gogurt in your mouth. How is it gay?

I mean, it's not. I only eat two at a time. That's how it starts. I only eat two curds at a time. Like that? Yeah, I go like that. I just fucking suck them down. Y'all got to chill with, honestly, yogurt in general, bro. That's a big issue. That's affecting a lot of- What about a Danimal? Danimal's nice. What is that? Never had a Danimal?

It's a delicious yogurt drink. So it's like a yogurt, but it's a little more liquidy and it's in a small tiny bottle and it only refills you like a little bit. All I know of is Dannon and the Kanyu

And... What, he's cautious? What are you talking about? Can you fit this dick in your mouth? Damn it. Yeah, he's stupid. I almost said what, but you beat me to it. I'm a

I'm going to give you a yogurt in your sleep. Don't fall asleep around me. Nah, bro. You better be sucking a yogurt. I'm telling you, I mean that for real. Yogurt is a real problem with young males. It's a gateway to gay? It's not gay. It's a gateway? But it does feminize you. I think it's really the cause of trans. That's the pipeline? I'm being dead serious, bro. Yeah. It has a lot of estrogen in it. Is that true? I don't think so. Look up the amount of estrogen in yogurt. He's like...

I'm going for it. Soy milk and yogurt are excellent foods high in estrogen.

Wow. Yeah. I mean, y'all knew it. When you eat it, you don't feel like a man. That is true. Yogurt is so fucking feminine, bro. That's why you go do goger is less gay. No, it's turning you into women. Greek yogurt. What about it? That's got more protein. I ain't gonna lie. Greek yogurt is a little bit less estrogen. Yeah. But that shit that y'all eat is full of estrogen. Even the one that has a little fruit on the bottom.

No, that actually cuts away. That does cut away. If you have food on the bottom, that takes away most of that. If you throw some granola in there, you'd be good. The granola will soak it up. Add some nuts to it. You have to. Bro, this was the only yogurt my mom bought growing up for my whole life. Fatty.

I think you might be right, bro. Because I've been drinking this since I was a little kid. Yeah, but she didn't have the 0% milk fat. We know that for a fact.

Wait, what? How are you saying that? How are you saying that? How are you saying it? Is that respectful? No, no, with all due respect. With all due respect. I almost got fucking pissed off. With all due respect. I almost got fucking livid. There's no way in hell. Your moms, with all due respect, put a total 0% milk fat into the house. But how are you? I feel like you're saying it in a weird way. No, with all due respect. With all due respect. I just had a Benjo-A picture. That was dope.

Ain't no way. With all due respect. Ain't no way. I got no problem with that. With all due respect. I'm just saying, with all due respect. You know what I mean? My mom just became an American citizen with her big titty-happin' ass. You saw the comment on your post? No, what is that? The comment goes, the heavies are ours. That's funny. That's awesome. That's funny. That's funny you wrote that, Mark.

I would never, with all due respect. I would never write that, bro. With all due respect. But this is awesome, dude. We need more entrepreneurs, more female entrepreneurs. And this is a good example of ways you can create products for your audience. We could do something like this. We should. I can't try it, though. That's cheating. I can't deny it. I'm a fucking writer. No, we got to try that. All right, one more. One more. What y'all think about our boy Dwight Howard?

Free him, bro. Free Dwight. He didn't do nothing wrong. Free Dwight. Yo, did y'all see Mace's reaction? Yes. Shout out to Mace and Cameron, man. I mean, they're just fantastic. Then they're having a time in their lives. I really enjoy it because that's what I like coming here and doing with y'all. It's just coming here and fucking laughing at how ridiculous we all are. And you can see the joy there.

from Cam when Mace starts to go off on a rant. And he's just like, I've known this motherfucker my whole life. This guy is so goddamn funny. And when he started doing the thing about, listen, we gotta be honest here. We say all the time, I don't care what you do in your free time. I don't care what you do when you're by yourself.

We do care. Stop lying. Stop lying. We do care. We do care, Doe White. He called him Doe White. I did not know Mace was that funny, y'all. This is the best thing for Mace. I knew Cam was funny, but I didn't know Mace was this funny. Facts, bro. That shit was hilarious. He's like, bro. He has bits. He has bits. He goes, they're asking if it's consensual.

A surprise is never consensual. Yo, it's like a funny line. That's a jerk. Because that's what the guy is, I guess, saying. He surprised him. Someone's in the closet, and they pop down and surprise him. And he goes, a surprise is never consensual, Dwight. That's the point of a surprise. Like, bro, just... So he just can't have a guy pop out in a leprechaun costume. It's like, what? What?

Nah, it's fantastic. Go check it out. Anybody on the team, please hit them up. We would love to have them. Yeah, we need Mason Cam, bro. We need Mason Cam to come by Flavor. And Dwight for that matter. Can we get Dwight on? Yo, we need Dwight. Shout out to Dwight, man. Superman. Do your fucking thing. Do your thing, Dwight. Do your thing. We saw Dwight at Burning Man. Exactly. And let the record show, he was with women the whole time.

Passion tips, probably. Miserable. Miserable. It was the desert, bro. It was sunny. Yeah, man. Yeah, now we got to have Dwight on. We got to talk about all that shit. You were swapping blunts with him, right? Swapping a spit? No. You sure? Wait, you shared a blunt with him?

Yeah, I think he talked about it on the podcast. Yeah. I remember you talking about it. You was like going, pass it back at four. No, what? And you was like, damn, it's a little wet. I want to say, do whatever you do because it's your life and it's nobody else's business. That's true. And we shouldn't care. Thank you. But I care that you were swapping. Bro, he's Superman. Superman passed you a joint. What are you going to do?

Superman passed you a joint. What are you going to say? At that point, it was Superman. Now he's the gay guy. He's not. He's not. Allegations are still there. We don't know anything. First of all, there's nothing wrong with being gay, but I want him to double down on that shit. Yeah, I agree. Tell us he was smoking out Chinaman when he was over there in Taiwan. Love it. Love it. Yeah.

We would love that. Just be real. We accept you. Alex is going to let you crack back, chicks. Hey, no. Come on, yo. No, Alex will. Yo, let him make some espresso out of you. That's his hometown hero. Nah, nah. He's going to flick your bean, baby. You always said that was your hometown hero. But you have your nails painted, bro. Don't matter. He likes guys like you. That's your hero. You don't want girly shit. Yes, he does. Nah, you can tell. He likes a guy like Al. He likes a guy like Al, bro.

He want a man's man. Nah, you can tell he's a milkman. He's a milkman. He wants that Marquette. Nah, he wants an espresso, bro. What about both of y'all? What about a little latte? Oh, he would love that. I might pop out. Let's go. We got you, Dwight. Anyway, yo, go check out It Is What It Is, man.

They're fucking great. Guys, thank you so much for tuning in, watching. Appreciate you, and I appreciate all the birthday wishes. Thank you very much for that. It means a lot. And we'll see you guys on Patreon Friday. Peace.