Lil Dicky On Kanye West Jew Comments, Theo Von Joke Controversy, & Meeting Drake
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- I was in the studio with Kanye. Already I'm like, this is the best day of my life. And then Drake walked in. - So I know you're a huge fan of Kanye West. - Oh yeah. - You've heard about this whole anti-Semitism thing you've been talking about? - What? - Yeah. - How much was the music video for "Ha Ha Ha"? - Oh my God. - I spent like a million dollars. - Do we get more Dave or no? - Me and Benny act that way.

This guy's my best friend. We're just talking naked in the shower. Who's bigger? Him. My dick looks like a raisin. There was that stuff with EO on. He was upset. How do you deal with stuff like that? I'm happy that you brought that up. What I crave deep down is like the undeniable love and respect of everyone on earth. I crave deep down. I literally thought it was going to be like just inner peace. This is the best form of

clothing. It's very nice. Especially in the wintertime. Why? I don't know why. There's something about it, like with the drawstrings or whatever these are, it's just like I'm so attracted to it. Not sexually, just like I just want to only wear...

that type of... Is it versatility or you think it's just cool? It's that cool. I think hockey jerseys are the coolest sports jersey to wear. If I was just wearing a basketball jersey right now, it looks like something... Can I be honest? Underrated is a baseball jersey. Yeah, baseball jersey's cool. Baseball jersey's cool. Yeah, but it doesn't have the edge. The long sleeve and then just the breathe, I don't know. And then now that they have these necks and the string, it feels like a fashion piece. Yeah, you can accessorize almost. Yeah. I don't like when they do the hockey jersey over the hoodie, though.

Like, to me, that feels like it's too juvenile. It's kind of like college behavior. And there are some people that are wearing it ironically. And by some people... You mean white people? White people, yeah. That's exactly what I meant. I don't know. I think I lost my train of thought or something like that, and then I was drawn to him as a handsome guy. He never played hockey a day in his fucking life. He's French. That's where he's from. It's identity.

That's how I know black people are climbing up the socioeconomic ladder. Your hair looks good, by the way. I just want to point this out. Like the twists are new or something? No, I got it re-twisted yesterday. Thank you. So it is. So it's new. Yeah, re-twisted. Oh, okay. It's not new. I mean, it is. He's never taken a compliment. This is new. I think we've started the podcast. Guys, we're here with Dave, everybody. Let's go.

- Thank you guys. - My boy, how are you? What's going on? This is... - I'm great. We're in the Big Apple. I know you guys are used to it. I'm not. Every time I come here, I'm like, wow, what a new- - Philly's not far. You probably came here a lot. - I did, but it just, it was different. I actually didn't come that often as a kid. I would come on school field trips and then we'd go to Times Square.

And I would get hustled out of my money. That was my experience of New York City. But coming as an adult man with friends that live here in different areas and pockets, it's just a totally different atmosphere now. Okay, we won't be offended. Yeah. Honest take on New York City. Well, I don't know that I could live in New York City. Yeah, I knew we were gonna get some good. I knew we were gonna get some good. I don't know that I can. Why not? Why not? Is that too many Jews? Beyond. A lot. Beyond one. Exactly.

I'm just the type of, I just like space. Like, I think it really comes down to my desire to have space. And like, even this is totally not New York City and I don't even know why my brain is going to this point, but I just went to the Amalfi Coast this past, like a few. Listen, let me tell you something. You're going to be playing Padel in six months. Never been there. Seen it in pictures. Really excited to go to the Amalfi Coast. I get there. Have you guys ever been there? He has. Oh my goodness. I get there. Well, I,

Well, I hated it. Where'd you go? Positano? Yeah. I knew it. You can't go to Positano. What's a rich combo? I can't run left to, like if I can't move like more than this amount of wall space left to right. It's awful, awful, awful. I'm just like, I feel trapped. I feel like there's nothing for me here. The water is cool, I guess, but I've never liked an ocean view. I find it very one-dimensional. Wait, okay. One-dimensional? I never have been like the beach.

I live in Venice. I live in Venice, LA. I go to the beach once every four years. I'm kind of with you. One dimensional. Hold on. Trees. I'm a fast guy. I'm actually with you on that. It's so funny. Hold on. So you don't live.

I've never been a beach view guy. Is that what you said? Yeah. Most expensive real estate in the world. I go, I've been to plenty of beaches and I go there and I get so bored. I just sit there and I look and everything is just flat. And like, there's just no texture. I would rather be in a situation where like every tree is different looking. And I'm just like- You want to be in the Bob Ross painting?

I guess. With the mountains and all that, the trees. And there's little creatures. There's woodland creatures you can look at. Yeah. There's things you can hike. It's just, it's so one dimensional. Yeah, I get that. And like, you know, beyond being hot and boring, like what do you do? You sit there? Yeah, yeah. You just sit there. The beach life is unbelievably boring. Yeah. Yeah. I've never liked it. Anyway, so I went to the Amalfi Coast and I just felt very constrained as far as like being able to like run.

Did you go anywhere else? Did you leave Positano? Positano is objectively awful. I mean, no, I didn't. It's just a tourist trap. It's so touristy. I couldn't believe it. Every store is for trinkets. There's no culture. It's just trinkets and one road. Yeah. And an ocean view. And like the sand is black. Anyway, so New York City is not that there's anything wrong with that. Black sand sounds fire. The whole color sand is great. Black sand sounds fire. The whiter, pinker sand is... By the way, stay in a hotel. Stay in a hotel. And they were like, grace.

No, the other one. Oh, okay. I can't remember the name of it. Yeah. And it was really, there was a lot of things I loved about the hotel. It was great service and I did feel like a little white lotus-y, like, wow, this is really the top of the line hotel. Yeah. But they were like, it's the only private beach in Positano. And I was like, well, great. At least we have our own beach. I go to the beach. Oh, you went to El San Pietro. Yeah. Yeah. It's just a...

It's just a hunk of concrete. It's like a prison yard. They carve it out. Yeah. I was like, this can't be the private beach. It's literally a hunk of rock. I don't want to do this, but you calling Positano Beach a prison yard is the whitest thing. Yeah.

I've never heard it in my life. I feel bad doing that to the white guy, but it really left out at me. Yeah, I understand. Call that a prison yard. But you know what? It is, though, Dave. It is a fucking prison yard. And sometimes we have to, like, be, you know, submit ourselves. Yeah. And you would know because you've been to prison. You know what I mean? Like, you're from there. Visited, yeah. Yeah.

But anyways, New York, there's a lot that I think I would love. I love being here like a week at a time. And I might even like being here like for a full season. No way. Like six to nine weeks of like, you know, I'd love to like figure out something to shoot here. Yeah. That like puts me here when like the weather is right. You know? That is true. Fall? Fantastic in New York. Fall in New York is the best. Nice.

Fall is the best. There's a lot of charm. And just as far as aesthetic, I think a lot of the shows and movies that I see shot in New York just jump out and look better to me than the shows that are shot in LA. There's an energy to it for sure. So anyways, I'm happy to be here. Why are you here?

Actually, I just put it. So I put out a soundtrack album called Penis to my TV show. And I figured I'd make the rounds a little bit. How much was the music video for Ha Ha Ha? Oh, my God. I know I'm counting pockets, but you just said you were on a Malfi. A lot of explosions. Self-financed. I didn't ask that. It all came out of my pocket. That's what that means. You know what self-financing is. Yeah.

In case you didn't know what you paid for. That's how you know the money still matters. Honestly, it was kind of reckless. I spent like a million dollars. What? Yeah, and it was a million in Lithuania. So a million, wow. I had to go all the way to Lithuania to be able to even afford this video. Like if I tried to shoot this video in LA, it would have cost me like five million. That's the thing. It looked incredibly expensive. Yeah, and it was like, you know, oftentimes I'm down to like,

invest in something that I know can be like a Freaky Friday, huge smash hits. I knew that this song would never, it couldn't ever beat. It's not designed, it's not like a pop song. It's like essentially a four minute verse, you know what I mean? But I love it so much and I just really wanted, I've always wanted to make a video like this that didn't rely on being funny, that was just epic filmmaking and really unique things. So I went out to Lithuania and

By the way, great host country for the event. How long could you stay there? I was very charmed by Lithuania. Many weeks, maybe a month or two? It rains every day. It rains every day. And it's freezing. I immediately, by the way, once I finished that video, immediately got bronchitis. I couldn't even move, like fever for two weeks. That's the price you pay, though.

but I am really proud. The price is a million. A million plus bronchitis. But I'm really happy. At least I didn't pay a million and was like, oh man, this missed the mark. I really think creatively. I look at it and I'm very excited. The video's sick. It's shot sick. It was one of those things where I was like, this looks like one of the most expensive fucking videos. To put that in perspective, a million, right? Do you remember? You're 35, right? Yeah. Okay, do you remember when Diddy, old Diddy, we can talk about it, put out...

Oh, yeah. I mean, all those videos. That was one million. I thought you were going to say Hate Me Now. Hate Me Now was also one million. Oh, that was the... Him and Nas. That was Nas. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm not trying to be a dickhead, but a million back then is probably like three, four million. Exactly. I was going to say that, too. What a fucking... It's not a back-in-the-day million, buddy. You had to go to Lithuania still, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But still, a million fucking dollars. Yeah, it's crazy.

And I just kind of also know I'm never, like there are certain things where you know you will make your investment back. How much have you made back on the AdSense? Can we look at that? The video has like 1.2 million views.

Even, I think, YouTube views are down. Like, I think... The whole website. YouTube.com is going through a recession. I'll have to get the antibiotics for the bronchitis. But it'll live forever. It made its money back. It will live forever. It will live forever. And I'm really... Like, I just like... It's a new thing that I've never done. And, like, I loved acting in that first scene. Like, getting into character in a different way. And I just thought it was just...

I have no regrets. I have no regrets. I love that you are always willing to flex your artistic muscles. Yeah. Like, yeah, I just like, even the concepts that you'll talk about shooting in Dave, I'm like,

That's incredibly artistic. Even though he's never going to do that, like the end of season one, you had a video that the episode you were thinking about shooting and then season two, the VMA performance. I was like these even not getting done really fucking artistic idea. Yeah. Thank you, man. I definitely put my best foot forward and try as hard as I can to be great. OK, now, now, now, now, now.

Now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now,

beyond belief, or they kind of let you do your thing? I'm pretty fortunate in, like, FX is a really creator-friendly network. They will let you cook. Yeah, they let me. They kind of knew what they were signing up for, I think, and then once you prove yourself, I think they're like, this guy knows what he's doing, and I've never really felt, like,

creatively hampered in a way where I wanted to do something and executives are like, no, you can't do that. I've never experienced that. I'm sure I will one day. But I think at least I kind of have made... My start has been one where I think I am known for being a creative whatever, risk taker. You go for it. Yeah, I go for it. I love that. That's what they expect. That's what they're signing up for. I can't imagine that I would be in a situation where all of a sudden...

I'm being shackled. I couldn't even, and going into it, I was definitely nervous. I was like, who the fuck are these people that are gonna tell me what jokes are funny? And like, 'cause you're right, in music, I have no oversight. I do whatever I want at all times, but now I'm not the one, I'm not paying, I can't pay whatever, how much it costs to make a season of Dave. I can't front that money. - Yeah, what is that like?

It's a lot of money. And so I need Disney Corporation to shell it out. And so it is kind of, there are things that are out of my control, but I'm just lucky that I've been trusted. And I think I've delivered. Guys, Life Tour, Charlotte, thank you so much for selling out the show. We added a second show in Charlotte. Also Nashville, we are coming. Austin, we are coming. Phoenix, we add a second show. San Francisco,

You saw that all four shows. That's incredible. We'll see what we can do about that. But thank you guys so much. More cities are also available at theandrewschultz.com. Go there. If there are tickets left, go check them out. And Philadelphia, you're up next. I will see you there soon.

Also, guys, you got to hurry up and get your tickets. We sold out the last two weekends in a row. Every show in this weekend at San Jose Improv looks like it's going to sell out as well. Two are already gone. The other two tickets are limited. Then February 22nd through 24th, Oklahoma City. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be honest. There's a lot of tickets available for that show. That shit is looking a little pathetic. So hurry up and come through so I don't look like an asshole. Also, March 1st and 2nd, Greensboro. March 8th and 9th, Stanford, Connecticut. And this is a biggie.

I'm going to be in the Netflix is a joke festival. That's right. I'm going to give you guys exact date soon. But your boy is selling out. You know what I mean? Not just selling out tickets. I mean, soon I'm going to be a corporate shill and I can't fucking wait. I don't ever want to talk to y'all again.

Fuck you, Alex. Tickets at alkaisting.com. Now, do you want to do more, Dave? Like, what is the... What's happening with Dave? Dave? All this crazy success, everybody talking about it. Yeah. Darling. I mean, an absolute darling. You're a darling. Loved by the people and the industry. Very rare. Yeah, that is. Very rare. Yeah, you're right. Yeah.

Do we get more Dave or no? We're talking about it right now. Honestly, I really am in the headspace right now. What happens was the writer's strike happened. I then had time off to like

like finished like certain songs that were in the show and put the soundtrack album together. And like, I got back to making music truly for the first time in like five years was able to focus on music. And then I really totally refell in love with making me like, I came into this making music and it's been truly five years since I've been able to like actually focus on it for more than like

six weeks at a time. And right now, I'm spending every day making music and fully thrilled by that idea to the point where I don't know how long I'm going to work on music, but I also know that the show has kind of reached this height, whatever that is. I don't believe my music career has reached that height.

that my show has reached. So you want the music to reach Dave's success? Kind of. I mean, I feel like I'm capable of it and I feel like truly, you know, how much time do I have left on this earth of going for it as a rapper? Like in 10 years, I don't know, it might be like if I'm still rapping, you might be like, we got to talk about this.

about this, Dave. So I'm just really anxious to maximize my potential as a musical artist 'cause I've just never, so like right now my focus on, but look, the story of my life is ongoing. I'm sure we're gonna have experiences today that-- - I feel like it's gonna be a while since we get more Dave. I kind of feel that's what I'm-- - I don't know. I really am just trying to like, I've been like one foot out of music, one foot in like for a while and I just like am really relishing the opportunity. But we're just starting to talk about all these things

Time will tell, but, you know, right now I'm so satisfied with, like, the three seasons I just cranked out and, like, where I left off with Brad Pitt and Drake. I'm just, like, thrilled. The Drake thing is wild. You know, I feel like this season especially, not only do I—

I'm pretty self-critical about what I make. Every season, I'm like, that was cool, but I know I could do this better. That was cool. Truly, season three, I watch it, and I'm like, I don't know if I could do that better. Wow. I'm like, that was done perfectly. Personally, you feel as fulfilled as possible. I feel pretty fulfilled. Literally, the last experience I had being on set with Brad Pitt and giving him direction, he's looking at me like I'm a Coen brother. How handsome. Oh, my God. It took my breath.

Smells good? Smells good? Oh, I bet he smells. I have a bad sense of smell. I'm not going to lie to you. He's like a masculine kind of muscle. You gotta taste the air. I'm telling you, first off, when he walks on set, everyone, like, their posture changes. Everyone has such a sense of purpose. Even the men, right? Especially the men. Wow.

So they know there's a pecking order. And this guy couldn't be nicer and not in a way- He fucking better be. Not in a way where it feels like he's trying to be nice so you say good things about him. It just feels like that's his natural- Genuine. Genuine, so down to earth, so cool. Couldn't say enough good things about this man. Hug him at all? Did you give him a hug or held him too? Not very. He's in shape as fuck. He's in such good shape. By the way, tatted up.

No. Wow. Oh, that's weird. I didn't know this. And like cool tattoos. Like what? Like what? I don't know. Like, I don't know what they are. I saw them in Fight Club, but I was too busy looking at the V. Yeah, the Vs were crazy. To really take in any tattoos. No. Get out of here. So he's just a badass fucking guy. He's a badass guy. He's cool. Like, he was really, like, I would say the coolest guy I've ever met. Wait, wait, really? Yeah. Yeah, look at his arm. Look at his arm. Oh, there it is. That's a cool arm. Yeah. That's a cool arm.

That arm is cool as fuck. Look at the veins. He's got a bracelet. You know there's some people that own their celebrity. They walk in a room, they know all eyes are on them, and they're comfortable with that. I saw Hugh Jackman do that once. He just walked in, he started introducing himself, and he knows everybody in the room knows it's fucking Wolverine. Yeah, it's Hugh. And there's some people that, you know what I mean? They pretend that they're not famous, and they do that thing. Hey, how you doing? I'm Hugh. But I

what are you going to do? I feel like that's like, like, how could you not do that as a famous? I don't know. I would, I would feel lame. Like if I was Drake and I like was, had the attitude of like, you all know who I am. Like, but does he really need to be like, hi, I'm Aubrey to you. I think so. What if he's just like, Hey,

My man, how are you, brother? I know you know who I am. I guess it's different if both of us have, like, if we're both famous and we've, like, been DMing, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, if I'm just, like, a PA on set, I just think it's disingenuous, is that the word? Yeah. To be like, what's up, man? Like...

Good to see you. I'd rather him be like, what's up? Drake. I don't know why I'm talking from the perspective of Drake. No, this is good. Embody that. Aspiration. Okay, so he's in the room, so Pitt's in the room. First off, the way I meet Brad Pitt. Yeah, how did this come together? Well, no, I met him on set. I actually just cold emailed him.

What? Yeah, really reckless. I wrote the entire... Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me just finish one thing. Yeah, yeah, go, go, go. First, just know that when he actually came on set for the first time and I actually got to meet him for the first time, which is the first place I ever met him, was when he came on set of Dave. We were shooting a scene where she was making a cast mold of my lower body, so I had to meet this man naked, covered in slop. That's how I had to be like, hey, nice to meet you. Anyways...

I knew – That's a power move. I basically – I heard through the grapevine that – and you never know how true any of this shit is. But I just heard that like he was a fan of my show. A friend of mine took a meeting at his production company and like one of his executives was like, oh, you know, Brad loves Dave. And my friend relayed that information to me like three years ago and I – You stored – I stored that piece of information. You hear that information and are you – is your first reaction like –

Of course, the guy's got taste, Brad Pitt. Or are you like, oh my God, Brad Pitt listens to me? Honest reaction. My honest reaction is a combination of of course-

But also, like, I don't know how true this information is. Yeah. Not, I'm never, I'm not surprised. It's more just, I don't know how true this, true the grapevine information is. He should feel this way. If he sees it, I imagine he would feel this way. That's how I feel about it. I love that. I love that. But anyway, so...

One thing I really pride myself on with the show is every season we end it in such a way where I think we make the best season finales possible. And unfortunately, or fortunately, we just constantly raise the bar. So this season I was like, how are we going to beat what we did for the last season?

and I was like, well, I've stored this piece of information about Brad Pitt. Like, maybe we go after Brad Pitt to the point where we're like, we started writing, we wrote the whole episode before even talking to him. All my writer's room was like, they were like, that's crazy. Like, you don't even know Brad Pitt. And I was like, I know, but like,

I just feel like if we come with the right idea, he'll, he'll, why wouldn't he do it? I don't know. Everyone was like, all right, same thing with Rachel McAdams. Same thing with Drake. Like at least Drake I met and he was like, yeah, I love your show. And I had face to face confirmation that it was real.

With Rachel and Brad, I just heard through the grapevine and I wrote them. And this is not like a random celebrity cameo where you see them in a club and they're like, what's up, Dave? And it's really like the entire plot arc of the whole season was resting on Rachel McAdams, Brad Pitt, and Drake. And I didn't know really any of them that well. I barely knew Drake, did not know Rachel or Brad. Wrote the whole episode, got Brad's email. From? From.

from an executive producer of the show named Marty Bowen who knows Brad's manager. Okay. Got his email and I just got to work on drafting that email. What's my email? Like the words of it? Yeah, yeah. I couldn't even, I mean, it's long. No, no, no. You're like, what is he seeing in his inbox? Is your name in your email? Is it Lil Dicky? No, my email, I don't want to give it out. I'll tell you afterwards. Can we bleep it? I guess. Yeah, just go.

No fucking way, dude. That's a lie. What, does he wear like this? I'm watching NFL. I'm watching NFL. I know that they can do that. That's your play sheet. Okay, so that's the email that Brad sees. And he fucking opens it. He opens it, and I write this long-ass, well-written email about it. You've got to have it. Bust it open. My phone's in the other room. Get it.

Honestly, it's not that easy to access. My phone does a thing where it only saves three months worth of shit. I could probably get it, but it would take too long. And I really don't... I want to leave it between me and Brad. You know what I mean? You want to suck? It's Brad. Yeah, you can't, dog. You can't violate Brad's trust. I didn't say we got to hear the response. It's not for you, bro. Your opening line is everything in the email, right? Do you remember the opening line?

To whom it may, or like dear Brad. It's definitely dear Brad because I know that he, his response was dearest Dan. I love that. Um,

And basically, I wrote this long thing that I edited all week, sent to my writers. It was like, what do you think of this draft? They were like, well, maybe we take this sentence out. We literally worked on this email. Instead of writing this. You have to. You have to. It's the most important email you've ever written. We're like shooting episode eight. We're like deep in...

This episode shoots in like two weeks. You know what I mean? We're running out of time. And I'm pushing it off because I'm just scared to face the reality of the high-risk procedure I've taken. And then a few days later, he responded, not in the same thread. It started a new thread. Wow. That's big. It's hard to explain, but...

I actually didn't understand that it was his email in response back for like 12 hours. I read this email. I kind of thought it was like junk or something like it's, it didn't cause he didn't, it was really vague. I assume his email is not his name. It's not Brad at Brad Pitt.com. So yeah, I can see how you're just like, it was hard to explain, but his email was like really short and sweet and like, but like not bizarre in a bad way. Like it was like iconic. It was like, so it was weird, but like,

He didn't sign it Brad Pitt. He had signed it BP, and I just wasn't thinking. So when does it hit you? It hit me like, I saw it in the middle of the morning, but I'm in the middle of production. I'm doing all the things. I'm so spread thin. And then I re-read it at lunch, and I was like, BP. And then I was like,

Wait a minute. Because I remember the subject line. That's so harsh. The subject line. Wait a minute. I don't even want to share the subject line. Yes! That's it, my boy. Go, go, go, go, go. It was, hmm, H-M-M-M-M. Okay.

Very cryptic. Yeah, it was also cryptic. It was cool. It was really sick. When I reread it, knowing it's Brad, I'm like, that's so cool. It's the coolest email I've ever... I'm going to frame it. I'm going to frame the email and put it on... Anyways, and then even then, I still didn't believe it was real. So I'm hitting my agents. Is this his email? They're like, we're confirming it is his email. They're like, I think he's in. He's down. And on set, it was such a joy to be like...

guys like Brad Pitt is in the finale. That's unbelievable. But even then, I still didn't believe it would really happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because dates got to line up and shit. Dates got to line up. It's like at any point. Did you have to move everything around to fit his window or? We shifted a few things, yeah. But man, by the way, this guy couldn't be more professional. Like I designed the shoot in a way to where like if he was like it was long demanding days. Like we shot, it was like an hour long episode that we only had Brad for like

He gave us four full days. And we're talking like, wow. We're talking like overnight. Like we're starting shooting at like 9 p.m. and going to like 6 a.m. What would that be fee-wise, Dov? Four days with Brad Pitt. He can name whatever price he wants. He's doing it because he wants to. Oh, no, of course he's doing the show because he's passionate about millions. Like an A-star, A-level star. This doesn't happen. It's not an episode of TV. It's not even about friends or something like that. Yeah, it was just 30 years ago. Wow. Yeah, it was a great episode. I gotta say.

the most validating moment of my life. It has to be. Prior to that, it was when LeBron James reached out to me and DM'd me about being a fan of the show. But like working with Brad, and it's a shame that I live my life like just trying to impress LeBron James and Brad Pitt. And that's how I find the peace and satisfaction. It's not that, most of us do. Yeah. Most of us do, let's be honest. Yeah.

But him coming, and then when he finally showed up on set, and I was like, this is real. And like I said, shooting scenes, you shoot his coverage, my coverage. We always started with his coverage. And I got the body double with the exact body type of thing. And he stayed in? And I'm like, Brad, if you want to go home and rest up, we can use this other man's shoulder very easily. He was like, never in a million years would I do that. He was like, that's not how it should be. So real quick, just for everybody at home, explain when you're shooting a show. When you're shooting a show, yeah. So let's say I'm here, and Brad is...

- Me and you. - Yeah, yeah. - So you don't-- - If the camera's on, Dave. - Yeah, sometimes you can do things called cross coverage, which is there's a camera here and a camera here at the same time. That's really good for improv and stuff, but it's not as good aesthetically. You can't light things as particularly to do it that way. So you're better off

aesthetically shooting one side at a time. So I would always start shooting Brad's side. Of course. So that way... He could leave after his... He could leave because we got a body double because when we're shooting over Brad onto me, all we need is his flannel shirt and shoulder. And we had a man for that. Yeah. But he was like, no, sir. Respect. That is fire. He wanted me to feel Brad's energy when I'm giving my performance. And honestly, it is true. That is the right thing to do. But...

Those nerves are going to be coursing through your veins. You're talking to fucking Brad Pitt. And that's the vibe of like the reality of the scenes we're shooting is that like I am enamored with Brad Pitt. So it would be easier for me to feel enamored. But it's an extra like it's not 30 minutes. It's like eight hours or whatever extra that he's standing there doing that, I assume. Right. It's like for four hours. Yeah. And it's like in the dead of the middle of the night.

He could easily get he's got to come back the next day and like the net and he man talk about a trooper didn't complain Once like it was just a joy like a true joy. That's amazing Yeah, I think it's and I think it's smart for the super super a-list guys also to do cultural shows Meaning like when I say a cultural show I mean like it has the culture people are talking about it because it makes them look cool, too

Right? Like, how likable is Brad Pitt that he's a fan of the same show that you were a fan of? Right? And then he's part of it, and you know he doesn't need the money.

He's just doing it to be a cool guy. I don't think he got that much money. I think TV pay... You've got to legally give him something. It's pretty surprising how low TV pay can be for even big-time actors. He didn't do it for the money. He did it because he loves the show. And I'm so proud of that episode and forever grateful to Brad for...

changing my life. Now, if you don't get Brad, did you have a backup guy you could reach out to? I definitely had, but it wouldn't have been the same. Who was it? There was no real backup to Brad, to be honest with you. I had people in my mind, but it just didn't feel... Yeah, yeah, there's somebody. Just tell him it's Ben Affleck.

No, it wasn't. I love that. I tried to get Ben Affleck in the Met Gala episode. The schedule, he was almost in. Oh, really? Yeah, I had a great thing for Ben Affleck in that. It's so validating to pursue these icons with a straight face. You know what I mean? And there's a chance they'll do it. I mean, yeah, that's amazing. That's a really great feeling. That's amazing. And I'm really thankful for that.

All right, question. I know you're heavily involved in the editing process. Oh, yeah. Obviously acting. Now, how involved are you in the writer's room? I'm the head writer. Couldn't be more involved. Isn't there every day? Basically, every episode starts with an idea. Like this episode, we want to be trapped in a hurricane with a conservative Christian family. And those are typically your ideas? It varies. It varies.

I feel like back in the day, season one, it was mostly my ideas. And then as time goes on, I run out of ideas. Yeah. And we just make more and more different. But it varies. And once we have an idea, then we got to like really map it out about just like breaking the episode. And then we do that as a group.

We do it really well. It's so fun. It's my favorite part of the whole thing. So it starts out as like one almost sketch concept. Just a core idea. And then extrapolate. Yeah, to the point. And then we give the script off to a writer to write the first draft. And like they're writing... Prose almost, like not jokes or anything. They're just like story arc. No, the story arc is totally created in the room by all of us to the point where like whoever's getting that draft to write...

there's really no room for deviation. They're not going to be like, you know what, instead of this thing, I had them go here. They have a very rigid thing that they have to like, I'm going to go here, second scene, and in that scene, I'm going to have a conversation with Gaeta, and it's got to go like this. They'll be able to make up good jokes and different dialogue. Yeah, they plug in jokes. The structure is very set. You guys plug in some of the funny stuff, and then whatever. And then the script comes to me, and then I honestly redo a lot of it. So I feel like the writing is probably where I'm,

I guess I'm involved in every phase. I was going to say the most writing, but I have no other experience than making this show, like as far as being on a set and besides making Lil Dicky music videos. This is the only way I know. I've been told that I'm more hands-on than anyone else.

ever is. Who teaches you the process of all of this? Predominantly this man, Jeff Schaefer. Yeah, Jeff. Yeah, Jeff. So who's, I mean, geez, you could list his credits, but yeah. Yeah, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The League, like this guy's the Bill Belichick to my Tom Brady. Like, you know, no network was going to like be like, here, little Dickie, like we love

your save that money music video. Here's the 30 to 50 million dollars. They need some security. Yeah. So they brought in a guy to essentially babysit. So they brought him in. That's fire. Well, no, I met with him. They didn't bring him in. I knew that I wasn't going to sell the show without having a guy like Jeff. And then I met tons. You're Obama. He's Biden.

I like Belichick Brady. And then I love working with the champ. Belichick didn't win without Brady, though. You know what I mean? Biden did. That's true. You got to think about that. Well, I'm Brady. Brady won without Belichick. But he's Belichick. He's got hits, though, is my point. I feel like I'm going to win. Schaefer's got hits, too, is what he said. Schaefer does have hits. Yeah. Yeah.

He's great. I'm trying to be sure you think I've been calling Schaefer a posetano. Schaefer is Bill Belichick, the best coach of all time. But wasn't the best until he had Brady.

He kind of sucks without him. No, he doesn't suck without him. Then he's been fine. Maybe it's a bad comparison. Thank you. You get it? You're Brady, which I think is the most important part of it. Phil Jackson was Phil Jackson. Phil Jackson. Kobe's Phil Jackson. I'm Kobe because he had Jordan. Yep, yep, yep. There you go. There it is. Kobe's Phil. Or do you want to be, it seems like you want to be Jordan. No, I like Kobe. Kobe's good? Kobe is my idol. Okay. Yeah.

So anyways, I would never have been able to make the show without Jeff Schaefer. Just simply having a guy I trust, having no idea how... I'm very much like... I question the way things are done all the time. So it's really a relief for someone to be like, no, it's not that way, trust me. And me be like, okay, you make my favorite show ever. I can trust you. As opposed to someone who didn't have that cachet, I'd be like, why would I trust you? You're just a man right in front of me. So...

So Jeff puts you on game as basically like, hey, this is kind of how we'll construct the episodes. And you're like, oh, that sounds good. That sounds good. And then, you know, as time goes on, I really like, I think there is a huge tonal, I call it the, I always say like, you know, every season I say, guys, I hope you're ready for a massive tonal shift.

That's what I always say because I just think tonally if you look at all three seasons, they are very different. And I think while being similar at the same time and feeling like the same show. But I feel like I – even my taste has evolved so much to where I look at a lot of season one. There's a lot that I like about it. There's a lot that I'm just like that's like amateur hour compared to like what we're doing season three. You know what I mean? And it's really a product of like –

When I entered this whole thing, I really saw myself with nothing to base it on as like the next great comedian, you know, with like truly just being everyone's funny friend. And I always thought this show will be my launching pad for being a comedian. When I say comedian, I don't, I've never done standup. I don't mean standup. I mean like the way Seth Rogen and Larry David exist on screen and their brand of comedy. And then as things have evolved,

I totally see myself as a filmmaker now to where I wanna be making, you know what I mean? I look at guys like Jordan Peele and Greta Gerwig and Ben Stiller. Ben Stiller carried the best comedy things of our childhood and then decided, you know what, I'm just gonna be the best director in the world and make Escape from Dannemora and Severance

And I really love that vibe. Oh, so you want to move away from comedy. I don't want to move away from comedy because I don't think I should abandon that. But I definitely want to make non-comedy things. Like I definitely feel like my future is not just making comedy. Like I want to make movies that aren't even... Any specific genre you're interested in? Like I think horror fits so well with Jordan because comedy and horror are incredibly similar. Yeah. Well, my...

And no matter what genre, I pride myself in realism. You know what I mean? So if I had to pick a genre, I'd pick drama, I guess. You know, I really love great dramas and great... Like, I love movies like The Wrestler. You know what I mean? And like...

that just like, like I love like A24, you know what I mean? Yeah. I always took it for like a Marvel guy. I assumed you would just love Marvel. Yeah, like Iron Man 3. You're like an Iron Man 3 guy. Yeah. No, I am. I am. That's what you like the most though, right? Like his Marvel movies.

Can you list your top 10 favorite Marvel movies? Or top 20 if you want. No, I can't. I do no such thing. But I just love, and I have fallen in love with the act of filmmaking, and I realized...

Being a filmmaker is just being a leader of the set. And I saw this thing on Instagram the other day where Quentin Tarantino was like, being a director, you don't have to know how to do all the things. You just have to know what you want and what your vision is and hire the right people that can achieve your vision and be really good at eloquently explaining what you're going for. And then the right people will be able to hear your words and then apply it. And that really is...

Filmmaking. Conducting, right? Yeah. Can a conductor play all those instruments? There's no way. No way. But he knows how to get all those people to play those instruments perfectly. Guys, real quick, we got to interrupt this episode for our prize picks. Sing locks. Are you fucking ready? I'm going to give you different ones next week. This week, I got Debo Samuel getting more than 57 and a half receiving yards. Christian McCaffrey getting less than 36 and a half receiving yards. Might have a big day rushing. I don't think receiving. And Patrick Holmes, you're giving me a free square. More or less than a

half a yard passing. Just take more. And remember, if you sign up, use that promo code SHELTS. They will match your initial deposit up to $100. That means you put in $100, you get $100 for free. Go to prizepix.com, hurry up and sign up. You got a free square. Now let's get back to this episode with Little Dicky. I find it amazing how you just like your first time, your first go at it, you knocked it out the park. Thank you. What was something that like the hardest lesson you had to learn along the process? Hmm.

Well, I'll just tell you what jumps into my mind. One is how time-consuming it is. I can't even believe what happens to my life when I make this show. Starting with the writer's room, and I'm not complaining because it is. What a privilege and a gift to make a show about my life that I'm in control of that. But just the amount of sheer time it takes to put it all together. Every season is like an 18-month journey of where I'm all...

in every day. Talk about post. Post is the hardest part. Post is. Post is the hardest part with deadlines. Explain post to people. Oh my God. Real quick, so post is just when the show is finished being shot, you have to edit. Three phases. You write it, you write it for three months. That's the most fun phase. That's coming in with like a group like this. We're hanging out, we're smart and funny and we're learning about life. Then you shoot it

Harder than writing it because it's like you're getting picked up at like four in the morning every day and like you're working every day and you've got to facilitate all these celebrities. You're not just acting. You're managing all these people as well. Totally. I'm like, you know, I'm a huge part of the directing of everything. There's tons of decisions that need to be made and I have no problem being the person. I would like to be the person making the decision. But you also got to get into character. There's a lot of things. That's the one thing that I'm like lucky. The thing I think about the least is the acting.

Like, I put so much time and energy into the writing, the set, just like the tone, like how we want it to be shot, look and feel, that takes up every ounce of my energy and then I'll enter a scene being like, huh, I actually haven't even given this any thought as an actor, but fortunately, I'm being myself and it's written for, like I know how I would react in a situation, so I can just like

live off my instincts. Yeah, yeah. It'd be a lot harder if like Scorsese wanted me to play like a Civil War soldier. Like, I don't know what I would do in this. You know what I mean? And then, so you finish shooting. Which side though? Just tell us which side. North or the south? North.

Good, good, good. But all he gives is from Philly. Yeah, it's close, though. That Mason Dixon is right there. Okay, look, post. Post. Then you finish shooting the show, and you're fucking, you're drained. Like, that shoot takes up every ounce of your energy, and then guess what? You're not even close to done. That thing starts to air in, like, eight weeks, and you gotta... And once you're, like, they're not moving back the air date. So once that first episode airs, every week, you're, like, locked into the schedule. And what has happened with my show is...

And it's not because I'm this endless perfectionist who needs to take... It just takes X amount of time. No, here's what it is. Okay, here's what it is. You tell me what you do in my position. Like, okay, we have a scene. I...

I would like to see every take. Yes. Just so I know that I'm picking the right, the best take. Exactly that. And so, yes, I could do it in a way where there's a solid take in the edit and I could move forward without, but every time I look into it, I then find a better take and then incrementally the show just gets better. That's the reason the show is so good is because I do this no stone unturned method, which really isn't endless pontificating. It's just going through all the data and I'm

Obviously having a right choice and just picking it. And then I inch along and then I'll finish like four episodes. And then the first one airs. And then my time gets smaller. And I'm handing in every episode like five days before this thing airs. And by the way, not only do you have to lock the edit, then you've got to score the whole thing. We have such great score. And it's a huge part of the show. I'm so involved in that. We've got to color correct it. The music cannot suck.

No. You're a musician. Yeah. The expectation is going to be high. Yeah. And it's the score. Dude, I remember Entourage would just like, the score really elevated the show. They would have songs that were like out a week before the episode. And you're like, holy fuck. By the way, and that's not even what I mean. That's the easy stuff. That's like, yeah, let me put this cool song in here. I'm talking about- Writing a song for it. Original, like I need like a great emotional violin piece for the scene where the character's crying and it's kind of like make it all work well. Right, right, right. You know, it's so, there's a lot of different needs. And then-

It's really, so I forget the original question that was asked. Post, and why post is so stressful. Yeah, post is the deadline for the timelines. And like 10 straight weeks you have to deliver this thing and you're running out of time to the last. And then by the end of it, like the thing, and then I just realized all 10 episodes just aired and I didn't even get to like watch them on TV or enjoy the feeling of people reacting to them because I've been like working the hardest I possibly could work to even make it to the season finale. And then I arrive here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Mark had a good metaphor for at least when it comes to like building a joke. And I think the same thing as you're building anything, which is like you're basically creating a sword. Have you ever seen anybody create a sword where you're just kind of constantly banging on it? You've never seen it in like Game of Thrones or anything like that? I've seen, I guess, people like banging. Kind of exactly what I just said, but you said no? No.

Also, let me know. I think it's Louis that said that. Oh, did he say this? Okay, so the mark stole it from Louis. I stole it from Louis. Yeah, yeah. But the idea that you're just constantly whittling away, and I think that is what you're describing when you're like, I want to see every take. Yeah. Put that one in because I don't think people realize this.

A lot of times you'll hand in a movie or a director will hand in a movie and they'll hand it to an editor that wasn't there while the movie was being shot at all. Yeah. He's a guy who's just getting all these footage. And you know what? He might have three other things he's got to edit. So he's like, I'm going to do my best job. I want people to come back to me, but I'm not going to painstakingly look through every single different cut to get the exact word, etc.,

And if you do that, it makes the best product, but it is fucking time consuming. It's so time consuming and it's really hard. But it's literally my name is on the line. It's called Dave. It's my life's work, the story of my life. I wouldn't feel satisfied or comfortable knowing I've left anything on the floor. I'm happy to work this hard, especially if I can get the result that I want. Did Jeff get that? He probably understood that, right? Yeah, Jeff is really militant in the edit too. He likes to see all the takes and he does get that.

You say you're not a tortured artist, but there is a perfectionist. Why did I say that? You said you're not like a perfectionist, endless perfectionist, but you are in that, like, I'm listening to the new album now, and then the first or second track, I think you're like, I hate all my old stuff. It's all trash. This is what it is. And there's that such a, I really admire that, where it's like this kind of endless pursuit of perfection.

always getting better and everything before is not as good as this and this is what it is. Yeah. I do think I am a tortured artist to an extent. I was just in the instance of why the edit takes so long. It's not like there are certain things that like making music is way more. Anything could happen at any moment. I could say any line. I can do it totally differently when you have like I am so convinced that if I received footage for each season three, let's say I get all the footage and I edited the show.

and then you put a Men in Black memory eraser thing on me, right, and I forgot everything, and then I received all the footage, it would be the exact same output. Because I really think that there is, there's always a clear-cut choice for every moment. And one time, my hand might be up here, and then the line before it, my hand was down here, and then I'll pick, well, what line is more important? And then I'll...

back out of whatever is more important and make sure my hand is, you know what I mean? You're going through the same decision matrix for every single decision you're making. Totally. And I'm, it's, I have an opinion. One thing I'm really, like people, you know, it is, it can be like, it's a lot of work and like people that work with me, whether it's the mixer, like the editor, they're like, you're really turning over every stone here. But I think that they respect it because I'm not waffling and I'm not like, I don't

know what to do. I'm like, I just, when presented something, an A or a B, I definitely am going to, unless they're really even, I'm going to have an opinion. And even then it gets tough. If they were even, then I would just focus for a bit. Then you bring it. That's when I send it to my most trusted writers and I say A or B. And that happens, and then I'll leave it up to the votes. Yeah. But the opinion, having an opinion as often, that often is like a superpower in and of itself. I think so, yeah. I think that's one of my strengths is

just naturally having an opinion. Sounds a lot like you because I remember if you're editing a stand-up clip, even though he's not the editor, he will be right there over your shoulder all night, doesn't matter what time, and it's like, no, no, no, let me cut this little incremental thing, and it's like, wow.

I've heard stories of other shows. The Snap system is great. It's timing. For me, at least with stand-up, there is a musicality to it. For sure. And the way that I can communicate that best to the person who is the master at editing is just by either snapping or talking to them about it. I'm not going to learn how to use Premiere. No, why should you? You spent your whole life perfecting Premiere. I spent my whole life trying to be a great stand-up. Yeah.

Let's work together. But you know how to be like, add eight frames of tail. Yes. And like, you'd be shocked at how much, like eight frames, which, you know, there are 24 frames in a second. You add eight frames of tail to a joke, it changes the entire feel. And so his system is saying, okay, stop right now. They'll catch it that much later. So I stole this from you. It's when I snap, that's when you stop.

I don't have time to get through this sentence. It's too late when I get through this sentence. Yeah. So with, yeah. So, and then with like, especially when you're editing comedy, I think not even stand up where there's an audience reaction comedy, where there's not an audience reaction. I think a problem that some editors don't pick up on is they will hold too long on the person who's delivering a joke as if there's like,

an expectation of a laugh. You need a reaction to think, yeah. But there is no reaction. Yeah, but you can cut to, if I'm saying something funny, that's outlandish. And then cut to that person. That person's face receiving the information and makes it funny. But some people go, and ta-da, and they're just waiting here. And it's like, now I feel uncomfortable as the audience. Cut to the person that you're saying it to, and now I feel represented. So these little tricks with,

Because I'm always considering the audience. I'm like, how is the audience taking in this information? If you create discomfort for them and you don't release that tension, they're just sitting with their shoulders up. I'd like you to bring your shoulders up. I want you to feel that tension. We got to release it. But yeah, that's instinct. I mean, you know. Yeah, it's just, yeah. Do you think you have good taste? Yes. Like taste and opinion for you is like kind of the same thing? Yeah, because I'm making my opinions based off my natural taste. But I think taste is like everything. Like

Again, I have no experience in filmmaking, but I definitely watch movies and TV and know what I like and know what I don't like. And the more and more experience I get, the more I'm able to actually be able to execute these things that I see. But at the end of the day, your taste is going to define everything you do. And I think I have good taste. Favorite movie ever? Yeah. Actually, let me caveat that. Okay. Okay.

- Favorite movie, most underrated movie. - That's a totally different question. - Yes. - Most underrated movie. - Like what's that hit movie that you actually like and you're like, no, no, no, this deserves more credit.

I mean, I don't... This isn't necessarily my answer because it's the type of thing I would want to put more thought into. Sure, sure. What's the movie with Steve Carell and... 40-Year-Old Virgil? Crazy Stupid Love. Exactly. I knew it. I know you did. That's a real underrated... Is that with... Fucking fantastic Emma Stone. Gosling. Gosling. Yeah, that's a great movie. Great comic, you know. There's another one that I thought was really underrated. It was, I think, the Seth Rogen one with Katherine Heigl? Not Knocked Up. Or no, who...

The one where she's like the president or something.

Wow. See, it's underrated. I boycotted that movie. Long shot? Long shot. Yes. You better believe it. Look, when you ask my favorite movie, which I think is an easier question for me to answer, it's underrated. I think of Superbad. Okay. I think of The Big Lebowski. The Big Lebowski's fantastic. Lebowski. I think of Shawshank Redemption. Shawshank is incredible. There's a perfect example of an incredibly popular movie.

And cherished film that lives up and exceeds expectations. For sure. But you know what else I think of? And I think of like when you say like, you want to move away from comedy. And I'm like, well, not necessarily. Like to me, there'd be nothing more that I want to do than make like the next Social Network. You know what I mean? Like that is a movie that I think is like of the utmost taste.

It's contemporary. It's cool. It's real. Do you want it to be biographical? No, not necessarily. Like, you know, I wish I had made the social network about the story. I mean, I love the way that they did it. It's a perfect movie. But, like, that, like, making the social network is, like, in theory, more appealing to me than making Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Even though I love forgetting Sarah Marshall and you would imagine that maybe my natural skill set is probably more inclined to dominate forgetting Sarah Marshall. I don't know if that's true. I mean, I think I would do a great job making a great comedy and I do want to make great comedies because I think there's like a real void in the comedies. Like when I was younger and being influenced, Judd Apatow was just smashing us. Like every year was something that you had to go see in theaters. Friday, man.

Friday to me is a movie that as much hype as it gets, it's still underrated. And there's something weird going on with comedy right now where like no one's doing, no one's- What do you think it is? I don't know.

I don't know. You know what I've heard that makes sense. I actually don't know it. I don't perform well at the box office. Yeah, I've heard international money is such an influence now in movies. Comedy isn't as international. Like a lot of jokes are kind of, if you're in America, in the culture, you get it. And if not, you're like, I don't. But Marvel works in China. And Marvel, you don't need to. Yeah. That's what they say. You just got to bend your knee to China. But even the comedies that get made, I'm like, what?

- I think there's like, this is probably perfect storm, multi-faceted question because I'm sure there's part of the situation where there are people that are maybe scared to make edgier jokes at a time where, remember, films are two years out, right? So everything in film is two years ago. - Yeah, you're right. - Right? So maybe it was a more sensitive time two years ago. Now things are kind of opening up. You can say whatever you want and maybe in two years we'll have those films come back, those R-rated comedies come back.

But I think there's a little bit of sensitivity from executives. They're like, I got my kids in private school.

I'm trying to build a pool in this house and build an extension. Do I really want to roll the dice on my career with this edgy movie that's got jokes about retards and trans people? I don't really think I want to do that. Let's just be safe with this Christmas movie. So I think there was a little bit of that. Maybe. But I also do think that they were concerned about this international box office thing. But the weirdest thing is that everybody I meet that tells me they learned English, they learned it from cartoons. Right. Which are all It's the Simpsons, Family Guy. So you are learning English through comedy.

So I don't subscribe to this idea that it doesn't travel. But you know, it does travel way easier. Yeah, but I wonder like what 40-year-old version did. Like I'm sure it was very successful in America and maybe it didn't travel that well, but I bet it made a lot of money. You know? Just imagine Europeans like, I don't get it. How do you not have sex, Urge? Well, I mean like think about when he's getting waxed and he's screaming out, Kelly Clarkson! It's like...

Oh, you're saying the references they're going to miss a little bit. The reference is not going to hit in the Middle East necessarily. They're going to be like, oh, the girl who won season one of American Idol? That's hilarious. Yeah. You know what I mean? We made $180 million worldwide. International. $27 million budget. I mean, that's not bad. That's nice. That's definitely not bad at all. We're talking 15 years ago. That's the thing. He was making our comedies with... I think they will come back. I also think there's less kind of, for whatever reason, people...

out there who are interested in making, it's just like kind of a weird time, I think, where like there's just less comedians making movies or something. Yeah. That's fair. Did you finish writing your movie? Me? Yeah. No, but I'm working on it right now. Oh, really? Yeah. Now is it a topic that you can share? I don't want to share it. Pure comedy or comedy drama or can you give us genre at all? Uh,

And this is something I'm actively, I actively consider as I write my first movie that I want to like be like my, you know, written by, directed by, starring me like my first real like boom. This is like the future of my career. I, first off, definitely a comedy. Coming of age, I would say that's a thing I'd apply to it if that, and, but no, it won't, I don't want it to just be like a goofy comedy. I want it to have tons of heart, be really real. And I want it to

ideally be the type of movie that you'd consider in the best picture category just as much as you'd consider, you know, that's what I'm going for. But it's hard to straddle that line. Like, it's like, you know, you want to make this, like, big, epic commercial comedy...

And it's hard to do that while also being this critical darling that ultimately that is where my taste lies. And I'm not trying to just appease critics. I just genuinely like great art. And I think a lot of the great comedy movies, maybe the artfulness of the way it's shot will take a back seat. I don't want that to take the back seat. I've kind of evolved to a place where I can't even enjoy a scene that I don't like the way the set design looks, which I never thought I'd be that way.

but it's true. Maybe that's the reason why these movies aren't being made.

Like just in the sense that people are, they want the comedy movie, but they also want the art to be in it as well. So it's like you're not getting- Maybe you're right. I do think the audiences are getting more savvy too. They want it more elevated, you're saying. Where it could be back in the day more slapstick, silly, fun, but not as thoughtful. And maybe not even the audience. Maybe the artist wants that as opposed to the audience. I remember season one of my show-

When I'm like taking a lot of time to light certain scenes, there are certain people being like, it's a comedy. Yeah, why are we working this hard? Who cares what it looks like? Yeah. And I'm like, who cares what it looks like? We're filmmaking. Yeah. Like how could you not care what it looks like? That's like almost the most important thing. So I don't know. But I think there are some people that can do it all and hopefully I'm one of those people. What does retirement look like for you? Hmm.

Ooh, good question. Do you have to accomplish a certain amount of things in order to do that? Do you even envision what you're- No, I kind of am aware that I'll never be satisfied, that the goalposts always keep moving. Literally, I just did the thing with Brad, but I feel just as unaccomplished. So I just think it's a never-ending thing. No amount of awards are ever going to change it, and I know that.

And so I don't want, even though I do care about like achievements and like I care about doing well and people receiving it well, but I just know it's a never ending cycle. So I think retirement looks like the ability to be at peace with like the things that really like to not have my happiness totally wrapped up in the validation that comes along with my art.

Like to be like very happy, like not making something and not receiving all the flowers along the way and just living in the moment and like loving how the light is going through the windowsill and the dust is like moving in the light. Are you happy right now? Yeah, I am happy. But oftentimes I ask myself like, am I happy or does everything go perfectly for me? And I haven't really faced a lot of adversity in life. And if I face adversity, I'd become depressed. Wow.

But every day I wake up really happy and I'm truly living my dream. But you're questioning this happiness. Because I just have a lot of anxiety in general. But I think no matter what, I think I'm the type of person that will, no matter what's going on in my life, I will always have X amount of anxiety to apply to anything. And if I wasn't making the show, I'd have anxiety about not seeing my parents enough before they die. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I just think that's how I'm wired. Yeah.

Fortunately, my anxiety, like it only kind of fuels my ambition and doesn't like bring me down to a place of like where I can't get out of bed. You know, it's like functional anxiety that like propels me. Yeah. Semi-related is not anxiety. But I think one of your superpowers is you can just vocalize the things you're neurotic about where most of us don't. Yeah. And you're so comfortable doing that. And it creates so much room for comedy and content in general. Just being like, oh, here's what I'm neurotic about.

I'm just going to let everyone in the world know. Here's what I'm insecure about. Everyone in the world is going to know. Most of us are wired to be like, I hope people don't find out about this thing that I'm insecure about. You're like, let's just tell everyone. Yeah. So you're an anxious kid that wants validation from strangers. We could say strangers. So you decide to become a rapper. Yeah.

Yeah. I think at my core, I was like, like I live my life. I feel like that would induce so much more anxiety for most of us. One would think, and it was like initially when I'm like, oh my God, I have to do a concert. Yeah.

Like what? I've never even rapped in front of everybody. I don't even like doing karaoke because it's too much. Like I'm now supposed to go in front of 2000 people in Philadelphia, do my first live show. Very stressful. I'll tell you, like, look, I start off being a kid who like loves making people laugh. And like, I think at the core of it is like,

A guy who, you know, I'm very confident and, like, know my skills. But I think there must be, like, an insecurity in me that just wants to be liked and loved. Sure, sure, sure. And I recognized early on that, like, anyone that met me was like, you're the funniest guy I've ever met. And, like, that meant the world to me. And, like, I just live my life, like, thinking how do I show everyone that I am the next funny guy? Like, I don't think the Adam Sandlers of the world started as anything more than everyone's funny friend. Like, I'm meant to be that guy. So, question. Yeah.

Does rapping start because you did it and people were like, oh, it's funny that this Jewish kid is rapping. And then do you chase it and go, I'm going to get nice at this? Here's what happened. I graduate college and I'm like- Oh, so you didn't even rap before- I graduate college and I'm like, how do I get noticed for being the next comedic guy? And I

I saw Lonely Island, Andy Samberg, and them just like dominating the comedic rap space with like everything they did was like millions and millions, hundreds of millions of views. And like, I'm like, there's not one single competitor to them in this entire space. They have a monopoly over comedic rap. And I was like, I can do this. What I can't do.

is write a sketch and film it in my San Francisco apartment with no money that looks as good as the 40-year-old virgin looks. That's what our brain would compare whatever comedy thing I'm delivering on YouTube. They would be like, well, this doesn't feel legit. But a rap video, it's very DIY to begin with. And I was like, one of the main things that I did was...

I did this, I used to work in an ad agency. And one of the tasks I had, I was the low man on the totem pole. I was like, I really like, I gave notes on the meetings and emailed it out. And one thing I had to do is this really boring report on how I worked for the Doritos account, on how our ads were affecting chip sales. And it was the one time where I would send an email to all the partners of my agency. And I was like, this is my chance to get noticed for being special.

And I delivered the song, I'm sorry, I delivered the report one time that was like a boring Word document that was like a template handed down from every assistant account manager before me. I was like, let's just like deliver this data like via song and send them an MP3.

And they were like, who is this guy? They're going to love this guy. Like matter of fact, go take this little song you made and go make a little music video out of it. And then I learned, oh my God, my ad agency has a whole production wing and they have, and like, wait a minute, I grew up watching Mason Puffy videos and thinking rap videos are this like unattainable multimillion dollar thing that eventually my career would kind of evolve into.

But wait, we can just take one afternoon, we can use these five Canon 7D and we can make slow-mo? And it looks like a real rap video? And then everyone in my ad agency is freaking out over how much they love this funny song about chip sales. Imagine if I took my comedic thoughts and made funny raps about them. And then I started making rap music with the intention of maybe like...

The South Park guys will see one of these videos and hire me to be in their writer's room or maybe Seth Rogen will see it. And then as I started rapping, I just got better and better at it. It really works like a sport. I have always loved rap. I've always loved hip hop. Growing up, I wanted to be a comedian and I wanted to play in the NBA and be a rapper. Only one of those things felt remotely feasible. Yeah.

when I realized, wait a minute, I can really do this. And I put out a song called Russell Westbrook on a farm that was like really introspective and not funny at all. And all my fans were like, this is the shit we want the most. I was like, I can be the next great rapper. And I got so, then I put comedy career on the back burner for like four or five years and like became a legitimate touring artist and like put out an album that like went platinum and have like a lot of big songs and it really carried. And,

Look, this is a very arrogant way to phrase it. Okay. But it really is how I feel. And I don't feel like it's me trying to be arrogant in any way other than observing the facts at hand. My whole life, growing up wanting to be a comedian, I always felt like I was Batman. Okay. And I was like, no one knows I'm Batman. And I really feel like...

I like by accident realized that like, not only am I Batman, but I also feel like I'm Superman. Like as a, that's really hard. Cause I'm like, wait a minute. I can make it like all I can make a legit, like a freaky Friday that goes number one in all these nations. And like, that's just like, that's a legit like song. Like I was just like, Oh my God. And then I, the,

The music career took off and I put comedy on the side and then I started making my show and my show took off and I put music on the side. And that's why I'm so, I don't feel like I fulfilled my potential as I still feel like I have so, scratching the surface as a rapper. Like I know what's on my hard drive. I know what's on release and how great I am as a rapper that no one's ever heard. Right. And I just want the day to come where I put my best foot forward in music. Yeah, we need some bars. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dickie, we need some bars. Right now, I can't. Come on, give us some bars, Dickie. Come on. Come on, we need some bars, bro. It's like my biggest, like, I could never just. Come on, bro. Can we take a break? I pee and then we come back. I gotta pee too. You guys go. You guys go pee. Think of something in the meantime. No, no, no. We need bars. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second, okay? Because it's time to make that little Dickie a big Dickie. You already know how it's going down. Blue Chew, okay?

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Free shipping at manscaped.com when you use the code FLAGRANT because your grooming upgrade awaits. Ready to charm your Valentine's dates. Now let's get back to the show. And we're back, everybody. I just wanted to say, during the break, I was able to glance at your preparation. Yeah, hold on. Can you show us? It's only note. Yeah. It says Lil Dicky. Yep. It's only note. And by the way, misspelled my name. I just think that you- There's no E? No E.

Are you telling me there's no E in Lil Dicky? I look over his notes. It just says Lil Dicky. Hold on. I didn't even put the little thingy, too. Oh, no, no, no. There's no apostrophe. Wait, what? Yeah. On purpose? They get that wrong all the time. They really do. I get so annoyed. I go to a venue, and it's up on the thing, and it's like...

says with apostrophe i'm just like how dare that that happens that one's kind of on you though to be honest are you gonna pull no a lot of lils don't have an apartment i think most don't look like nowadays it's kind of like a 90s 80s thing are you gonna pull a bow wow and drop that low no you're just gonna be dick grown now bro you big dick honestly i couldn't like i really do like hate my rap name but i also love it i was gonna ask you that it's a bizarre feeling of like do you feel

Imprisoned by it? No, it's the perfect rap name. It's like exactly what I want. That's one of the questions. And I like when people call me LD. That feels good. LD is cool. That feels cool. LD, maybe I'll switch it. I don't know. I made a whole list. Here's the backup I had to Lil Dicky that maybe I wonder would I be as successful with this rap name. Let's see. Young Man.

Two N's on man or? No. Young man is kind of nice. But then I see the UK rapper Dave. Yes. I'm just like, fuck that. That's it. I fucked up. It should have been Dave. It should have been Dave. But Lil Dicky's interesting. It definitely is polarizing. Yeah, you're like, what is this? Radio interviews, they're going to ask. Yeah, the way you rolled out your career fit perfectly with everything. I don't have any regrets. It's just...

But it's a live dick thing I read. There's something weird to me when I'm on the street and someone's like, yo, Dickie. Like, I just don't relate. Like, I don't feel like I should be turning my head when someone says Dickie. Like, you know what I mean? Like, there's just something. If they said LD, I would turn my head confidently. Now, what happens if you go on and you make this, like, sophisticated, elevated art? You talking about movies or film? Okay, yeah.

Well, I mean, music can be sophisticated as well, but of course, but film in the way that you described. Yeah. And people are still going, Lil Dicky, will that bother you? Will it chip away at you? I think it's irrational. I definitely like wouldn't like if I was directing a movie, I wouldn't ever have it be directed by Lil Dicky. Like it would be directed by Dave Byrd. And I think there's just if I am this level of filmmaker and I still have a rap career on the side that like everyone like knows me, I think that's just cool.

But I don't think my music career will ever illegitimize my filmmaking career. I think it's just two different sides. So you won't rap for us? No, no, no. I've seen so many freestyles from you. Do you know which one that really got me? It was the one you were doing like a radio show in London or something like that. It was Westwood. Now, curious, going into these things, do you have...

a song specifically set up for that interview or not a song, a freestyle. Yes. Okay. Yes. That's, that's okay. And there's a misconception sometimes that I'm just making it all up. No, no, no. I know that you've written it, but I wonder if it's like, I have 10, I'll just choose one and go for it. I'll go in there with like knowing exactly what I want to do. Got it. And you got to execute it of course. And yeah, um, it's nerve wracking to do like, to do those things. Yeah. Break that down. Like what was more nervous? Westwood or Sway?

Because you probably built up... New York. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hip-hop, like, you know, like, they hype up, like, the way Sway goes about his freestyles is, like, you're in, like, the hyena lounge now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's like, you know, like, if you fail there, like, they're going to, like, probably enjoy it, you know what I mean? Or just, like, relish in the failure of it. So I just thought, like, you know, especially as a white rapper named Lil Dicky who, like, makes joke comedy music, like...

You know, you got to go in there and kill it. And so I was so nervous. Oh, my God. I can't even believe I did it. And then I did it again, and I can't even believe it. But it's probably like the footage I'm most proud of that if I was like, was like Jay-Z had never heard of me, and he was like, what should I watch first? Check it. Sway Freestyles. How long does it take to write it? I don't know. I don't know. Two weeks preparation? No. Like, what's your prep for that? You know, you got to find the right beat and...

I probably write it in like two days. Oh, I thought that Sway chooses the beat. No. Sometimes he does. It depends. If you do like five fingers. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's an idea. Okay, so you're going in there and you're just adjusting it to whatever the beat is. That's even trickier. Yeah. Yeah. And then the Westwood.

A couple days before, but you're like, I know I got to drop a fucking. I love Westwood. I remember seeing the old Eminem freestyles on Westwood. Yeah, that was crazy. And I was just like, I don't know. I think I get more, like the Sway and the Westwood, I was like on tour. And when I'm on tour, I really feel more like a rapper than I do when I'm just sitting around. So I just think I have a different energy where I'm like, all right, let's drop in there and kill it.

- Just another performance. - Yeah, like I'm in that zone. - But the insecurity is about failing the execution. It's never about the rap itself. - Totally. - So you're very confident about the music. - Yes. - It's just are you gonna flub it in that moment live? - Exactly. - That's interesting. Whereas most people would be worried about if their art was gonna be appreciated by these people. - No, I don't worry about that. - There's never a question. - I always agree, it's so great.

If I properly execute, we should be good to go. That's how I feel. But look, here's a story that I think is interesting. Two or three years ago, I was asked by the Emmys to be a part of the opening number of the Emmys. And it was a Tuesday, and the Emmys are on that Sunday. And I'm a groomsman in my best friend's wedding on that Saturday. Okay.

And I was like, oh my God, like, you know, what an opportunity, but also how, and then they were like, oh, it can be like, maybe I shouldn't be sharing this, but I don't know. I don't give a fuck. They were like, it's a prerecord. You can record your thing ahead of time. You know, you can record your verse.

And then when we're doing it, it will just be a prerecord. So I thought nothing really to lose here. Let's record. I have three days to record a verse before I go. I then record my verse, send it in. They're like, great, we love it. I fly to Denver to be in a groomsman and the whole weekend I'm like listening to my verse.

And like, you know, no matter what the wedding songs that are playing, I'm like doing my verse like to every single one. You know, I'm just like getting, and then I go to the Emmys. Like I'm literally like in the, I'm in my white suit. Like we're backstage. They're like counting. They're like, hey, you're on in 10. And Gator's right there with me as moral support. And I say to Gator, I'm like, I'm going to kill this shit. And he has then be daft. I like had such confidence. I go out there. Immediately once I went out there,

I forgot every word to the thing. Right? I forgot everything. It was like a bomb had dropped. That's fucking rough, dude. I take one step out there. This is the first moment of the Emmys. It's nationally televised live. But I knew it was a prerecord.

So like my thing is playing and I realized, oh my God, I just need to put this microphone right here. - No. - And then just like-- - Can we get this video up? - Get it up. So in my mind, I'm like almost blacked out. Like I'm like, I don't know what's going on right now. Like if my mic was live and we were picking up that feed, it was like, it would have been like a failure on like a national scale. And then I finished it and I got off stage and I was like,

Oh my God, did I just embarrass? Because in my mind, I didn't know. I forgot what I was supposed to do. And then I watched it and I was like, oh my God, I look so cool. To me, it comes off great. So you knew the mic wasn't going to be hot. Yeah. And let me tell you. You saw Brad for the first time. Let me tell you. That's what I want, Brad. I don't know that I'm ever doing live TV performance ever again. I don't know. All right, let's see it. Hold on, let's watch it.

I'm like, I have no idea. And then I think I remembered it like right now. I started remembering it. I didn't know to come in. Yeah. Wow. That's genius. Because you cannot tell Adam. Welcome to the crowd, too, that you're even more hidden. It's smart. Dude, all I know is that experience has rocked me.

I used to imagine myself like, I want to one day get to the place where I'm doing the Super Bowl. I'm like, no. I just don't know if it's worth it. The possibility of failure on such a giant... Succeeding doesn't really yield that much. I didn't get that many... Nothing really happened for my career by successfully making it through that moment. And failing would have been known for it. The risk reward is not in your favor yet. I don't know.

I think like, if I can't control the edit, I don't know. - Yeah. - And maybe I'm a pussy and maybe I need to face my fears. Maybe one day I will go on stage and my mic will be hot and it will be the Grammys and I'll go for it. - That's what we were talking about the other day about like, you know, the more successful you get, the less you have to face your fears.

You don't have to. You can exist. You can edit everything. You can take the time. You can create a track. You can take six months to put out if you want. But sometimes the things you really want are right on the other side of what you fear. So maybe that Super Bowl, maybe you're telling yourself right now, I don't need to do this, but it could just be comfort. Yeah, I don't know. I guess the more and more... Because that shit looked all right, bro. I thought it was going to be a bummer. He's saying a best man speech while he's in there. He mixed up the words.

Look, I just think the more and more that my career goes on and I feel like, you know, established and like I've kind of achieved things that I always dreamed of, I feel more inclined to prioritize like quality of life and happiness. But what is that to you? What is that? That's not like being like a month leading up to the Super Bowl being like, oh my God, I have so much anxiety about like, imagine the month leading up to the Super Bowl when you're not performing on the Super Bowl compared to when you are. Nothing said.

I'm well aware that I'm nowhere close to- You're never gonna be called. I'm never gonna be asked to perform at the Super Bowl. No, no, I wasn't saying that. I'm saying even if you weren't gonna be performing at the Super Bowl, you're still gonna be on the greatest coastline in planet Earth and going-

It's a little too rocky. So what is interesting to me is that you will choose your distraction from your anxiety. Do you put yourself into film? Do you put yourself into music? But you still need to choose something. I'm going to apply it somewhere. You're right. And we'll see. Time will tell. I just know that, man, it can be pretty stressful, especially as a rapper. Doing stand-up would be stressful, too. Have you ever tried it? No, I never have tried it. Any interest in it?

Yeah. You've had, I imagine, jokes. You're like, ooh, that would be a good stand-up joke. No, and I am interested in trying it, but I have such respect for the art form that I know it's well beyond just being a funny human being, and it would require so much time and effort for me to be the stand-up comedian that I would hope to be that I don't even want to try it until I'm ready to apply myself. And you'd have to fail publicly in the beginning. Yeah, you'd have to fail publicly. You're a famous person now, so you going up...

It's going to be rough in the beginning. Totally. I think when you say, what does retirement look for? I do crave one stand-up special at some point in my career. It could be when I'm 50. I would love to be able to do that. Why not mix music and, you know who did that well? Bo. Yeah, Bo. Bo is obviously a talented musician, but he also had jokes, and he could kind of mix the two, and then he could use the music to kind of float in between the bits. I could. I could.

And I'll tell you, there are shows that I do sometimes that are corporate or just where it's small. You got some jokes in between. And those are my favorite things where I get to just chit-chat in between. Even my favorite part of performing live is like,

not even pre-planning it, but like living in the moment, saying something, like seeing someone react, like actually being in the moment with the crowd, even if it's a small crowd. But I also don't like using music as a crutch. You know what I mean? Like I do kind of want to just go up there with a microphone and just do a stand-up special. Maybe use it in the beginning as you start to build your act.

And then once you have it, now you're ready to go. Because I think that's a lot of times that's what comics will do when they're trying to build a new hour. They'll have like 15 minutes left over from their last. And it's kind of a crutch to get through this new stuff. Crutch is maybe, there's a negative connotation, but it at least gets you there, allows you to try the new stuff without just bombing the entire time. But that could be cool. And also a very different experience for an audience. Yeah.

Yeah, if they're going there, they're hearing hits, but then they're seeing these stories and you have punchlines built into the stories and then there's more music. You're right. It's an interesting idea. There's a lot that I want to do. I just, I think, I wonder, I think I would, I think I have a good skill set for stand-up comedy. I just, I respect the art form too much to just assume. Like, as confident as I am, if I went up and did stand-up right now, it would not go well. It's humbling stand-up. I'm sure. It's humbling stand-up. Do you ever feel like any of your live concerts went poorly due to, like, the anxiety? Uh,

Well, my first concert ever didn't necessarily go poorly, but I had never performed live in front of anybody. Like literally like the way the internet and everything works, like I could create a following online behind a laptop and then all of a sudden have to like be a rapper in front of 2000 people. And I just didn't know how to pace myself. So I just, the adrenaline was so high for me that the first song,

I used all my energy. - So you just had a breath. - I was gassed. The whole rest of the show, it felt like I was like, I just need to survive. I just need to survive this physically. So I think everyone had a nice night that night, but I remember then the next night I had New York City and I was like, definitely need to go less hard song one. And I did. And then when I was really scared going into it, I was like, I never perform. Will I be a good live performer? And now I was like, oh yeah, very natural.

I feel like I'm a great live performer, but there's something about

Being a rapper where there's a whole different swag that is required where, like, if I even move my body in a corny way, even if I don't fuck up the words, but I just do a lame dance, I'll be, like, scarred by that. You know what I mean? And, like, the internet will run with that. But again, your persona is not trying to be the coolest rapper. You're right. Like, they might think that you're doing it on purpose to be funny. I'm built to fail.

I thought about that with the Emmys. Like if you went in there and you bombed, people in the audience would probably be thinking... It's a bit. Oh, he's doing... Let me tell you, if I ever do live perform again, 100%, there will be a built-in failure plan B where like if I fail...

In West Philadelphia. We will roll into the failure package. It might even be better than what would have happened if I didn't fail. Yeah. You know, but I will definitely have a plan for failure. Has anybody not liked your stuff? Like anybody you admired not liked it? And what did that feel like? A lot of people don't like Lil Dicky, the standalone rapper. Like, especially like, you know, your elitist journalists who like, you know, are like...

How do you deal with criticism?

Let me just caveat this. You're a very confident person. I actually don't interpret it as arrogance. I just interpret it as confidence and you objectively almost like... I analyze the facts at hand. It's almost autistic. What a fire. You're like, this is the data and I would say that this thing is better than me, honestly, if I felt that way. And I'm sure there's people you think are better and you would just objectively say it. So I don't interpret it as arrogance, but that's

I'm sure there are people who might. How do you deal with criticism? - I try not to get wrapped up in it, but like, and I try to-- - Sensitive to it at all? - I am, I try to avoid it really. Like I think what I would do is like,

Back in the day, I would read every comment that was made about every song and episode. I would get 95% positivity with the 5% negativity. It eats at you? It eats at me and it changed my mood. I just realized that's going to happen no matter what. There are oftentimes criticism. There's probably criticism of me early in my career for my earliest Lil Dicky stuff that at the time I was like, fuck that, I'm the greatest rapper in the world. Now I look back and I'm like,

I'm like, what worthy criticism. I did kind of suck. Interesting. And so like, and that is, that was one thing just because my mentality really hasn't changed. Like I've always felt like the shit that I'm making is great. And then like, I'll look back on it and be like, maybe it's not. And so that's,

Me knowing that I could always look back at whatever I think is great right now and view it a little differently makes me like not, you know what I mean? And I don't know. I try, what my favorite thing is, is for people, I,

I oftentimes, people greet whatever Lil Dicky content is coming with immediate pessimism going into it. - And then get won over. - I love winning them over. I would much rather perform on stage at a random festival where I am one act and I go out there and I see, I just see the same kind of guy who was predisposed to hate me in the crowd like this. And I just lock eyes with that person. And eventually I see them going like, and there's no better feeling than winning over a natural born hater. - That's probably your life.

Yeah. Right? And I remember seeing that, I think it was the first episode of Dave. Was it the first episode with YG and his boy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That moment presents itself, right? You're like, okay, they all think that I'm this kind of like awkward weirdo and I'm going to spit some bars. And in the first couple bars, you're like doing a teapot dance and it's almost like, uh-oh, this might not go well. We're easing into it. Yes, which is, I think, a good choice. Yeah. If the first bar is just the greatest thing you ever heard, then the audience can also have that transition. Yeah. Great. Okay.

So interesting. So you like winning the people over. Now, hmm. Yeah. But look, some people you're not going to win. I prefer to be like, what I crave deep down, it will never happen. What I crave deep down is like the undeniable love and respect of everyone on earth. Yeah. That's a worthy pursuit. That's great. That's what I'm craving, and it will never happen. You know what I mean? But like, I like want to... I crave deep down. Like...

At least respect. I literally thought it was going to be like, just inner peace. I just wanted to be at peace with myself. It wasn't that at all. It's a validation of every stranger, past, and present. But I know it's a problem. I know it's wrong. Never having to search for inner peace. Oh, fuck. It'll never happen, and I have to be at peace with that. Okay. But, like, yeah, I just kind of want to, like, even if I'm not your cup of tea, I want to be able to get to a place where...

Any criticism would be like, it's not my thing, but man, for what he does, he is great at it. That's what I'm trying to... Do you think there's a ceiling on that craving? I think in terms of aspiration or whatever. No, there isn't. I mean, the ceiling is the whole population of the earth. It's growing. That is the literal ceiling. It's growing every day. And as you know, comedy doesn't travel well internationally. You've got to figure it out. Learn some Mandarin. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know. What criticism hurts more, of the show or of the music? Any criticism towards the show, I really look at it as just misguided criticism. To me, I don't know how you'd criticize the show. I hate to say it. What about, there was this music I kind of sometimes I'll

especially my old stuff. I'm like, I listened to it and I'm like, Ooh, like, so I guess. Why is that? Is he thinking because you put so much into the show or why? I just think that with me, with the show, I like music really is a 10,000 hour thing for me where like, I just like, like I,

I had a naturally good starting place, but I've just developed my craft and just got better and better at rapping to where now, just the way I deliver it, just the way I really believe my own swag way more present day than if I go back and watch 2013 videos. With the filmmaking and comedy and TV, I just think I naturally kind of rolled out of bed just already great at it. It's less of a... The way I'm talking to you right now is how I talk in the show. I think I just end up...

my brand of comedy, for example, I'm not like the best, like Will Ferrell is so great at like being an impersonal, like putting on these like different characters and like dominating, like my best form of comedy is just being myself and the way I speak is funny. And my show is way more naturally the way I just am in life than like, if I started rapping right now, that kind of is like a little bit of like, I have to turn into like a little bit of a different superhero than I'm,

that I am going to wake up out of bed, you know? There was that stuff with Theo, Vaughn. He was upset. Like, how do you deal with something like that? I've never... I'm happy that you brought that up. So I have never...

stolen any jokes whatsoever. How do you handle that? Well, that particular instance, I think to myself, well, I don't understand why he would think that I haven't stolen, you know, to catch, I don't know if you guys are aware of the context of it. I only recently am aware because I saw a comment that said- It was just on the internet. Yeah. Yeah. I think he was doing like a barstool show and you guys both had a similar idea in the show, right?

Right? Yeah. He had it in something and then you had it, I guess. He said it on a podcast. He said it on a podcast. About the wooden shirt thing. Yeah, it was like a wooden shirt and then you guys had it in the show. I remember when we came up with the wooden stuff in the writer's room and it was totally built on a different idea that was about like a one single, like a man whose entire house was made of wood down to the clothing. Yeah.

And then it ended up, we ended up not going with that storyline. Yeah. Ended up doing one small, really inconsequential scene of my series where a guy was just selling wooden shirts. Yeah. I promise you it wasn't, I've never, and I, whenever I see content of Theo Vons online as I'm scrolling, I totally think it's funny and I respect it. I've got no animosity. I've just never met him. We have so many mutual friends. Yeah. I always was under the understanding that like accusing a comedian of stealing jokes is like a major taboo. It's the biggest, yeah. It's a big, big deal. I was like, well, just reach out to me and let's talk.

Because I've never, and I have nothing but respect from what I see of his content online, but I never have stolen any joke. That's really my immediate reaction. It's not like I'm not hurt by it. I'm just like, why would that, why would he...

be so insistent that I, when I never would. Right, right. Two people can't have the same idea. It's a pretty broad idea. Yeah. Like the idea of wooden clothing. Yeah. I don't know. I'm sure there, I don't know. It's kind of specific to the way you just said it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, like, but I'm sure there's like- It's not men and women are different. They're in one dimension. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But-

Yeah. Have you guys spoken at all? Why don't you guys just talk? Why not? Yeah, I would. Because I think a lot of times what would happen in these situations is, you know,

Both sides explain their part and then you go, oh, okay, I see why this, you know, these two different comedians came to this conclusion and it wasn't somebody that's trying to bite. I'm definitely down to, I have no beef with him whatsoever. I don't like when, you know, if I post something and I see like, stop stealing Theo's jokes. Like, it's just, I don't, I'd never have done that. Yeah. And I think there's only one joke in question.

It's not like I've made like a career. You know what I mean? I don't even know what other jokes were even questioning. In three seasons of television. Right. Yeah. That's the, that's the thing. I think like now with the internet, there are so many more people putting things out that the possibility of two people having a similar idea is infinitely higher than back in the day where there would be 10 comedy specials a year. Yeah. And you just need to cross over.

In those 10. Now you have a million pieces of content that are out there in the world and you're gonna see people with similar ideas. You see it happen with memes, you see it happen with written pieces, you see all these types of things. So I don't think it immediately means that one person is stealing from another.

All I know is that my soul feels very pure and clean. I just think you guys are both great, and I would love you guys to both just be like, hey. Set it up. You're friends with everybody. I will set that up. Yeah. I will set that up. For you? Yeah. I will set that up. Let's go. On the beach in Positano. You set it up with Brad. Yeah. Put us in Texas BP. That feels equivalent. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

You have some verses that are kind of wild. You'll be like, bend over, Michelle Obama is an insane line. Were there any lines that you wrote or even scenes from the show that you're like, yo, this can't go in? All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. Listen, today's episode is proudly sponsored by Morgan and Morgan America's largest injury law firm. They've been fighting for the people for over 35 years with a remarkable track record. They've recovered over 20 billion, would it be,

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Crazy thing to say. It's wild. Had, like, the Obamas reached out at all? No, but I regret saying that because I, like, you know, first off, I do believe that, like, when you're rapping, like, the rap that I grew up on was, like, Eminem, who was saying, like, the wildest shit. Hyperbole. Like, hyperbole. There's nothing literal happening. And it was really just an ode to respect of, like, how great I think she is. What was the whole line? What was the whole line? I said...

It's a bar. Oh, what did I say? I was Googling it. Don't worry. This is the Emmys right now. I said, like, I forget the first part. It was like, in a year, I'm a bend over Michelle Obama. Like, I got to do it while I'm hot. I'm trying to get blue in most states like Barack Obama.

Which, that's a good line. That's a good line. And look, I honestly- I just wanted you to rap on the show. At the beginning of my career, unfortunately, I was kind of at a desperate, pathetic place of, I gotta say some wild shit to go viral, to get noticed, to have the opportunities I want. I don't think that's desperate or pathetic. I don't know. I look at it as a little low-hanging fruit. But I think at that point in your life, you're just trying to get attention, and you see the people you look up to. You're looking up to, imagine Eminem. You're looking up to all these other rappers. They're also doing it. So you're like, this is the genre. Yeah.

I meant nothing by it. All I can tell you is like, I love the Obamas. I have the biggest fear of like meeting them one day or like working with them and them being like, what about that thing you said? Have you met anybody that you had a bar about? No. Not one person that you've rapped about, you've crossed paths with.

- No, by the way, I haven't rapped negatively. Even that line is a positive line. - No, not negative. Even saying that you are lusting over a woman and then you meet them. - I think I've been talking about how much I love Drake for a decade before I actually met Drake. - And then so what happens? - Well, then fortunately I met Drake

And he knew about the show and loved it. I literally was at a bar and literally I turned around. He's got good taste and he's plugged in. Yeah. So it was just, he was like, you're just the man I want to see. I love your show so much. I watch it all the time. And I was like, I literally, I was the perfect. But he didn't go, hi, I'm Aubrey.

- He didn't need to, you're right. I'll tell you, I was the perfect combination of drunk and high the moment I kind of had that, I was floating. I looked unsafe, I couldn't have come, I know I was coming off really good. You know what I mean? I was loose, I was waiting my whole adult life for this moment. I really was at the perfect level of intoxicated to handle it. It was like a 10 minute conversation, exchange numbers.

All my friends are at this bar with me. They're off to the side. He walks away. I turn around. I go, and then I walk over to my friends, and they're like, what happened? And I was like, honestly, I don't even know. I was floating. It was great. That's amazing. That's amazing. Have you flubbed a celebrity interaction? Some of you met that you were so excited to meet that you were just like, oof, not my best. Hmm, probably, oh, man. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Give us that one. Whatever made you go, mm? We can bleep it.

We can put the name, but tell us the story. Let me think about it for a second. He's running the numbers, bro. You can see it. Okay. Basically, DJ Khaled. Okay. Who I was getting in my Freaky Friday music video. Yeah.

The way that we shot, like, a few moments at the end where it was, like, DJ Khaled, Ed Sheeran, Kendall Jenner. Like, I was in Chris Brown's body, then I switched into, like, these other bodies for, like, ten seconds. So, like, we really were, like, loose in, like, how whatever their thing was going to be, like, what they said. And, like, so I was going to—I was on my way to DJ Khaled. He agreed to be in the video to shoot—

And record his line. That was TB determined. So I had to... I was going to pitch him on a number of things. I'm on the way to his house and I'm texting my director of the video. I'm being like, look, my dream version of what I would want him to do is be completely naked and be like, I'm DJ Khaled. And make some sort of dick joke about whatever we think his dick is like. And...

As soon as I sent the text, I realized I didn't send it to the director. I sent it to DJ Khaled. Oh, fuck. As I'm on the way to... And I've never even met him. So I'm meeting him right now and no response. I pull up to his house. I'm like, oh my God, fuck. I ring the doorbell. If he answers the door naked, he's a legend. And at that point...

So he answers the door and it's totally normal. I'm thinking maybe he didn't even read the text or he did and doesn't, I don't know. But he's acting very normal.

And at that point, I was like, because of that botched interaction, I bailed on the idea of even pitching anything envelope pushing to DJ Khaled. I was like, let's play it safe and pitch him. I'm DJ Khaled. Why am I yelling? Which is like, you know, when he gets in the song, he's like, ah, DJ Khaled. So I was like, let's just pitch him something like that. We get up to the studio. He's like, so what do you have in mind? And I'm like,

What I'd love for you to do is be like, I'm DJ Khaled. Why am I yelling? And he was like, huh, what else you got? And then I thought he would just have accepted that pitch. And the only other pitches I had were like nude dick joke related type shit. And he was like, huh, what else you got? And I was like, well, I was like, we could make a dick joke. And he went, dick joke? Yeah.

It felt as though he had never heard the term a dick. And I was like, yeah, I'm a little dicky. I make jokes about my dick being small all the time. He was like, let's just do the first thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. But man, that was fucking stressful. I was texting my director like in such confidence, you know, and I'm literally texting the man. So I'm sure I've had other interactions where like I said something crazy by accident. On the subject of the nudity, the dick jokes, season two, there's an episode that's very gay for a less tactful way to say it. I know what you're talking about. I'm a repressed Indian kid. I'm uncomfortable watching this. How did the general public receive that episode?

And how do you feel about it either way? No, it's with Benny. Yeah, with Benny. Let me tell you, talk about a polarizing scene. Break it down. Break it down. You almost lost me with that one. I skipped an episode or two. Beautiful season finale. There's too many black people watching my show.

So, first and foremost... I mean, it's unbelievably likable, right? It's so likable. First and foremost, I'd like to apologize to Mason Cameron. No, I... What you have to realize is I did not... Me and Benny act that way. That's crazy. Like, we...

Can you break it down for everybody just so we're all on the same page? This guy's my best friend. Yeah. Like, I don't know if it's like a Jewish, like privileged guy thing or something, but like, and I have other friendships that are similar where like, we just like, we shower together. We don't do it sexually. We're not like, you know, jerking each other off and like being sexual. I would rather. We're just talking.

naked in the shower. Nah. Dicks out, balls out. Dicks out, balls out. Nah. So anyways. Who's bigger? Him. Oh, is he? Yeah, my dick looks like a raisin. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Have you seen it hard though? Him? Yeah. You say you're a grower. He says he's a grower, so I'm just asking a follow-up. I'm a journalist. I've seen him with some blood in his dick. I haven't seen him like... But half-juiced. But look, I also thought, I was like, this is a really interesting dynamic that I think people will find funny, minimally. We put it out, and I think like, yes, there's like half the people who are like, man...

You almost lost me with that. Who pitches who on Showering Together, Nate? Me and Benny? In real life. It just really happened organically. How? What situation would present? We're in a rush. He meets me under the lens of like, he reached out to me as a rapper, Lil Dicky, who made all of his early music about how fucked up and small his dick is. And he is just like me. And so once we started hanging out, he was like, you got to show me your dick. And some people would be like,

What? To that question? That's not a weird question. I've lived a life showing all of my high school friends have seen my dick. Like, everyone in my overnight campus, like, you know, it's just like... I'm curious. Yeah. Oh, and by the way, I promise you, I don't care how, like, homophobic you are, if I showed you my dick and walked you through it, you'd be on the ground laughing. You'd be slapping... You still got that skin thing that you took off? Yeah, I could show you some shit that would, like... Do you have a photograph? Show us, show us, show us. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Show us. No, no, I was trying to type photograph for that story.

for that. In person. Show us your dick. I promise you that I can tell if we all kept hanging out for three to five years, you would all see my dick in time. It's the type of thing that I definitely... I can see. I mean, honestly, I'm curious right now. The show is very different than seeing the dick. It's not that different. I would see the dick. It's not that different. Wet is different.

It's not that different. And the time, the duration is different. Yeah, we just are really comfortable with each other. Being naked and wet is crazy. You have zero curiosity. You're being disingenuous. Would you want to see a cross-section? What if there was an exam or something like that? Can you just show them and then they'll report back to me? The guys that Susan...

Season one and two I was working on. Sorry. We went from not wanting to see your dick because please, can you just stop? In one minute. In one minute. That was the gayest shit you ever did. By the way, cough up that piece, my boy. Yo, we got showers here.

He didn't sell the dick well, though. The guys that scored my show, that make all the original composing for the show, are two of my best friends out here, Henry and Jack. They, too, had heard stories for years about my dick. No one feels the brunt of a schedule, having to hand in episodes more than the composers of the score. We have such limited time to make all... We were just at a point where everyone was so burnt out

And I could just tell they were like just crushed about like the amount of time that this would take to get it right over the next like five weeks. And I could see their spirits so low and I said, guys like, really what I did was they were behind, they were working, their backs were turning and they were asking to see my dick for a while. So this wasn't like sexual harassment. - Consensual, yeah. - Very consensual. I got, their backs were to me, they're working on their keyboards, I just got butt naked and I just waited for them to turn around.

And they turned around and they looked and they, the joy and the marvel and the seriousness at which they took, like they literally stopped what they were doing, got up, like literally like bent over. Like Jurassic Park. They were like, I've never seen something. They're like, your dick is like a Pixar character where it's like, it's so fucked up and like,

Wrong, but so like there's so much home. You're really stuck Bill there's so much hope and after like it feels like you can like it can do anything but like it can do nothing at the same time can you why it's really thick like give me a thickness I don't all I know is I took a string one time and I measured the girth Yeah, and the length and I felt 10 percentile length 90th percentile girth so that thick I

I don't... It can't be, but like... Like, I just know that when I... Back in the day when I would try to stick my dick in a Gatorade bottle, it felt like a tight fit. Okay. So thickness. Okay. And then after that... Well, that seems pretty cool, actually. It's crazy. And also, well, it's... What show? But there's a lot wrong with it. Like, what happened was...

A few things. One, born with a disease, I guess you'd call it, or a defect called hypospadias where my pee hole is just in the wrong spot. Condition. Like where your pee hole is right in the middle. Yes. Mine is like right down here. Like a faucet. Which I didn't even know was wrong until like I was like 16. Some guy was like, why is your pee hole there? Because I was showing men my dick because I thought there was other things wrong with it. Oh, let's see it here. Exactly. Exactly.

But there's versions of it. Like, look, version one is my, that looks a lot like my dick, like a little bit. Like that, see how it's like, and then version two, like it's like in the middle of the guy's shaft. That's not. Oh my God. And then version three, it's that it's nuts. Good God. That's hilarious. That's a vagina. I got version one, so I'm okay there. Thank God, okay. But version three actually seems kind of cool. That's like a cool. And these are uncircumcised.

No, they're served. Well, I don't know. All I know... So, besides that, I'm also informed... So, are you busting nuts out of your balls? I'm busting nuts. No, no. He's version three. No, version three. Wait, but you bust on your balls. Yeah. You shoot down. Yeah. How do you pee? I'll tell you. I pee sitting down. So, independent of the hypospadias, I also had...

my urethra was tangled to the point where like if I didn't get surgery emergency surgery right away I wasn't going to be able to pee the right way I wasn't going to be able to have kids so they had to go in and perform it they had to do surgery and like do all this shit take skin away and I don't even know the facts at hand I'm only like here as like a man like just looking at my thing and like I don't

My parents, I don't want to talk to them about it. It's like a little weird. And I don't think they even know the facts at hand. My theory is they cut off a lot of my dick skin and they had to replace my dick skin with other skin. Yeah.

I think like my, you know how like your balls are ribbed. I have to put this in the show, but like my, my skin of my whole dick is ribbed and it grows hair. Like if I just let my hair grow down there, my entire dick would have hair like a tree from like the Lorax. Yeah. Yeah.

So I think that my dick is made of balls, ball skin. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And so there's just a lot of scarring and there's a whole lot of sense. And then also I developed, I had these little poppy seeds on my dick that like kind of developed

and I was ashamed. What the fuck? They're not poppy seeds. They look like poppy seeds. Everything's in bagel terms. Little black dots started popping up, and I was like, what is this? I gotta remove this. One of the black dots, they must have removed too far, and now there's like, where that black dot was, there is a hole. So now when I pee, it goes out of my main pee hole, which is already in the wrong place, my main pee hole. And then there's another little hole that like,

That's why I pee sitting down. Because you have to. If I peed standing up, I would just piss all over my own butt. It's like when you put your thumb on a hose and it just fucking... It's like, you know, exactly. That or like, you know, the super soakers where like they had like a thing where you could like turn it left and it would like go that way. It's like that. Your dick's like a clarinet almost.

- It has multiple little holes you have to plug. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if I pee in a urinal, which I do oftentimes in public because talk about, you can't pee sitting down in a public restroom. It's disgusting what men do in the stalls of a, I can't even believe it. There's like shit and piss everywhere. - I do it every time. - Yeah, this guy, he's savage. - Cheek to bowl. - I don't even. - He just hardwipes. - He lifts the seat up and sits right up. - I'll plug, so I piss on my finger every time. If I'm peeing standing up, that means I'm willingly pissing on my finger and the overflow is just going down on my nuts.

Wow. And it's small. But girthy. But girthy. And I think girthy. And I hid it for my whole life. I avoid every time that like...

People were getting together and like playing spin the bottle. We're like, maybe you get your dick touched I was like sick that night because I was like no one can know and then eventually I like you know just decided to put it in the show and like own it and and the thing that I realized as an adult is like Oftentimes women aren't even aware of what a dick supposed to look like more or less and like there's no different It's all weird to them. You know, this is always a foreign like snout coming out of a man's hip

You know, I just have a different version of it that it's functional though. And there, there's value to the girth I found. Yeah. And it gets hard. Do you have, do you have a girlfriend now? Yeah. Did you have to introduce her to it or did she know from the show? Did she know from your material? She knew from the show. Okay. Um,

And enjoy it. Honestly, I met her right before my show was about to come out. And very early in the process, I was like, look, I'm about to come out with this show. This is what I'm thinking in my head, not what I'm saying to her. I'm about to come out with this show where I'm literally like, maybe I was getting away with people not knowing

But now I'm putting almost a bullseye on my dick. Now, like, I feel like it's like being like, well, let me invent. And so I showed her the episode. First scene of the first episode is me having this entire breakdown with the urologist. And she, like, loved it. And, you know, she accepted me for me. And we have a great relationship. And there's never... She loves...

I don't even want to because I know she's a grown woman with parents. I don't want to say she loves my dick, but she loves my dick. Yeah, she does. Yeah. She cherishes it. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Have women ever reacted with aversion at any point in your life? One time, and it was like the first time. Oh, no. Which was hard. Oh, no. What happened?

The girl said, wait, wait, like, wait, isn't the people supposed to be there?

And I couldn't believe it. It was so, it was like, I'm fucked. Mortifying. I'm fucked for life. She was a slut. She saw too many kids. Yeah, how did she know where she should go? So the top of it is just like a mannequin tip. It's like a Christmas ornament. Sheen, it's like a Christmas ornament. Wow. Just shiny. Honestly, it looks like I have half a head almost. Like it looks like, take your head, right? Yeah. My dickhead? Yeah, take your dickhead. Yeah, yeah.

And then right where the pee hole is, take a knife and just cut it in half. So it's flat at the top? I want to show you. It's like a hammerhead. It feels like it's that. It's that thing in the top and the left. It's the left one. It's that. It's that.

Which isn't that weird. I thought everyone's dick looked like that. I didn't know that. I'm going to be honest, I'm a little disappointed. Yeah, that's not that weird. No, no, no. There's more to it. What do you think is weirder? What you have or just foreskin? What would I have? What would I have? Because there's a lot of things I can do. Wait, did your parents circumcise you as well? Yeah. I'm like overly circumcised. I'm like missing too much meat down there to the point where I think I have less sensitivity. Wow. But you last longer, probably.

Yeah. There was a phase of my life when I was like 24 where I prematurely ejected. I basically could not prevent myself from prematurely ejecting. Every time I had sex, I would come within the first 10 seconds. T and B. Touch and bust. But because I don't have that long of a boner and

And because the dick stays relatively with blood in it, I would just pretend that I didn't cum. And just keep fucking. Keep fucking. Smart. And then fake an orgasm whenever appropriate. Yeah, whenever she can. Smart. Wow. So I was just faking orgasms for so long. So does cum come out of both sides? Is it the top and also the side a little? That's a question I get asked a lot. And the way that I cum...

is I don't like shoot cum, like project, I kind of just like ooze cum out of like the edge of my dick. Like a sewer drain or something. It's like slime. You know, like, and like when your hand is like here, it's cum.

My hand is always like, I'd have to get a camera. But I think cum does come out of that second small hole, but it just, in a way, it's just glistening. It's like weeping. It's glistening, yeah. It's not going to shoot like, you know, it's not like a weapon. Oh my God. Yeah. It's like a sponge in a way. It's glistening. It's glistening.

It's so funny to say I'm cumming on your own balls. But like it's not, there's not a lot of cum that comes out. Because I don't think, I'm a little worried at the lack of cum. I'm worried that I don't know if I'm cumming enough. I don't know. I don't know what's normal. There's definitely, every time I jerk off, there's just cum all over like the bottom half of my dick and like my hand. But like it never goes anywhere. Now if I straighten my dick,

Because my dick has a hitch. And I'm sorry, Mom and Dad, because they said it's enough about the dick. And I can't believe that every interview I do default. But I really don't bring it up. And I do think it's interesting. It's a medical problem. You should be able to talk about it. If I straighten it. That's true. My favorite way to cum. Yes. Silly string. Die. Is taking my little bit of a bent dick and straightening it. Oh. And then just sitting there and waiting. And not even moving. And if I'm high enough...

And there's good shit going on in that screen in front of me. You don't even have to jerk off to that? By the way, I used to be able to come hands-free. There's no way. Before I got on Propecia for hair loss. Dave, come on. Before I got on Propecia. I don't think you need Propecia, man. I got ahead of it. Literally. Yeah, before, and I don't know. I just, you know, I always heard people say like, oh, I wish I started like a year earlier because like Propecia stops you when it's tracks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't make hair grow. So I just wanted my tracks to be stopped. Anyways, yeah.

I think it does lower my sex drive a little bit, Propecia. Yeah. I was tragically horny. I was prematurely ejaculating. Yeah, now I have a normal sex drive. This is great. Before, I literally, I could sit there and think and I could, and if I push. There's no way. I'm telling you. With just your mind. Just my mind. With the power of your mind. You push the way you push when you're pooping. Like a cum Jedi. And that is a great way to cum. I mean, if you guys had a wet dream. Yeah.

There's no better way to come than a wet dream. That's the best. My best sexual moments of my life were the three wet dreams that I had.

You want three? Yeah. Damn. I know. I want more. I've never had three. Take me through all three. I've never had three. But dream number one, we were at Seeds of Peace International Camp in Maine. Seeds of Peace? Come on, dude. Yeah. Yeah. That's who I know, bro. It's so good, dude. It wasn't really a sexually charged atmosphere. And I just was like, it's a three-week thing. I was like, I want to wait to come until I'm home in four weeks and jerk off at the best place.

jerk off of my life with the right porn. - You had a ceasefire. - How old were you? - Like 14. - Okay. - And then I came like in my dream, a girl in a red dress. - Oh wow. - Just like the matrix. - Constantly evolving. Can't even put like she was brunette, but like she's constantly evolving. And I just felt like I was in my dream. I felt like I was, you know when you piss in reality and you piss for like a minute? In my dream I was pissing cum. It was like a minute of just like free flowing cum. Like just pissing.

And then I woke up and I just realized I had come. That was number one. Can you describe what Seeds and Pieces, so people didn't know what the environment was that you came in? It's a really great organization that actually brings children from different conflict groups together, like Israel and Palestine. No way. India, Pakistan, and everyone. So you would just reign and come on a bunch of Palestinians on the front lines.

No, actually, my bunk was me and Indians and Pakistanis. Oh, wow. I was the only American in my bunk. And they let 15 Americans in to observe the whole thing because it really is super interesting. And yeah, I came. And right above me was Abhishek. I don't know. That's such an Indian name. Yeah, I don't think he knew. I don't think he knew. And then I came. One time I was celibate for a year purely out of fear.

I just found sexual experiences, like, because of my, I guess, neuroticism, just the pros never outweighed the cons. Like, whatever value that sex was having in the moment, like, paled in comparison to, like, the next day, wondering, like, if my life would be forever altered. Yeah, STDs. Yeah, STD, pregnant. Like, it just felt like, man, what a dangerous game we're playing. I got to stop having sex for a year because I need to focus on, like, more. Like, I can't. Like, I was being so derailed by, like,

thinking about what went wrong. So I didn't have sex for a year and I had a wet dream. I was on tour and you know, when you're on tour, you really wanna hook up, I think. Every city is like a different opportunity and I just was like really sticking true to it and I just came in my pants. I think it was San Antonio.

came right there. So, what do you mean? While you were sleeping though, right? Yeah, yeah, wet dream. But you had pants on? No, okay, my underwear. Okay. I just thought you're sitting at a bus stop and standing on your own edge.

How many wetchings have you guys had? Innumerable. A bunch. Do you know what I'm saying? For me, I'm like, that is the best orgasm a man can have. It was great, but then you got to get up and change. I had one next to my wife once. I remember waking up looking at her. Sucker. There's something really free about being able to just come with no hands and just piss it out. It's a freebie, 100%. It really is. Then the third one.

The third one was like, it was a more, it was really uneventful. It was more recent. I just came. It was like a time when. Nothing crazy. Nothing. It was really. All I know is there's three. You could look at your dick. But I wish there was more. And watch porn and then just come without anything. I don't know if I could do it now. I think my sex drive is a little lower. Oh, come on. But now I can certainly straighten my dick. Yeah. And just, there's something really, and like I said, when I straighten it, if I come, there is a little more life to the, to the.

to the output. It goes, it doesn't, it's still not doing what I'm seeing in porn, but there's, it's doing more than just like, dribbling, dribbling out. There's more, there's more chutzpah. Yeah. You know? Chutzpah. Um,

I'm scared that I have deep, deep-funked semen. You'll find out. Have you looked into it? No, that's the first thing. They're going to test my semen. But no pregnancy scares up until this point or anything like that? No pregnancy scares. There are times where

You know, you're on spring break in Australia and the condom broke and you have to go to get the morning after pill for a girl that you don't even know. And they don't even let you get it without the girl in Australia. Oh, wow. And so I had to have my friend who wasn't the girl I had sex with come and pretend that it was her, which was all weird. Did you hang out with the girl? Did you watch her take it or you took her word for it? I had to take her word for it because we had to leave.

So you just... I got to say, I was kind of under... It was literally when I... It was crazy. When I came back with the pill and I looked for her in the hotel area, I'm not kidding. It sounds like a lie. She was literally in the middle of a rugby team. She was talking to a group of 10 men. Just her chit-chatting with 10 men. And I had to go up to her and be like...

Like, I don't know if you're comfortable with like, like she knew the kind of broke. She wasn't stressed. Did she know you want to get the B? No.

I was like so stressed. I don't know where she went. Like she didn't like, it was the type of spring break thing where it was like she was an American in my spring break program. She had her own bed. Like she didn't sleep in the same bed. Like in the morning I just went and got, I was like, and then I just wanted to hand, and then yeah, you have to take two. Like at least what I found in the Australian version of this was she takes one now. I saw her take that one and then I had to take off and go back to where I was going when she was staying. And I said, please, will you take it? And I think she did. I haven't gotten a phone call.

Did you check in to make sure she did? Like, how do you do that? I thought that would be really rude. It would be rude, but you still want to know. Yeah, but I don't want to dehumanize them, you know. Well, literally, that's what you're doing. You're dehumanizing. That is true. That is actually definitionally correct. Exactly. Not dehumanize, but fully spawned humans. There you go. There you go.

I don't want to do you when I'm a white girl. Also that. Oh, God. Okay, Dave, listen. I have one more question. Yes, yes, yes. So I know you're a huge fan of Kanye West. Oh, yeah. How has that been? Yes. Are you guys still friends? You've heard about this whole anti-Semitism thing he's been talking about? Yeah. Yeah.

Apparently he hates Jews, apparently. That's what he was saying. No, not Kanye. Look, all I can tell you is my experience with Kanye West, which was in 2017, I ended up getting involved in his basketball run. I literally met him on the basketball court. First time meeting Kanye, by the way. Full court, three on three. Me guarding Kanye. Why was it full court, three on three? Just to get that run in. And we only had six people there. But whose idea was that? Why not keep it on the half? I think people just wanted to exercise more.

Wow. Yeah. And so that's my first time meeting him. How was he? How did he play? Yeah. Very interesting game. Like a good shooter, but I feel like a very awkward form. He just is so weirdly good at finishing around the hoop in a way that you're like, that's never going to work. And he's like, does these weird finger rolls that go in fairly. Kanye can hoop. Yeah.

Wow. He can hoop a little bit. Anyways. Forgiven. My experience with him, I would play basketball with him for a year, twice a week. And he would invite me to come to his workplace and show me the new music he's working on and the clothing. And he was nothing but nice to me the entire time. Truly was one of the nicest... And this is my hero. I told him to his face, I don't know if I would...

have the self-belief that I have if I wasn't like my formative years weren't like listening to this other person having this like insane self-belief in himself and like that being the soundtrack to my life and I believe that like you know what I mean like and I owe a lot to his art for like making me my attitude is probably formed by like early Kanye and we had a great relationship he's uh like he changed his number at some point like to the point where like you know he does that a lot I think where he changes his number he probably have to at that level changes his team um

And I just lost touch with him, you know, just the way... And I haven't seen him in, like, four years. And I obviously see all the things that... And I was, like, surprised. Because, like, I don't think in his heart Kanye dislikes Jewish people. You know, I don't... I know he knows I'm Jewish. I know he likes me. You know what I mean? So in my heart, I feel like he probably said something and...

uh it was the wrong thing i'm sure i'm not denying that he'll say the wrong thing often you know what i mean like i think he might have said the wrong thing people got outraged i think the thing that he can't stand the most is when people tell him what he can or cannot say so then he leans he leaned into it and that's the reality now i don't think you should be leading into it i'm not saying what he did is the right like i think that there should be a sensitivity to like jewish people you know you don't think that at his core there's anti-semitism i don't i don't think at his core is rebellion

And right now, this is the thing. Now, this is really me theorizing. I'm not that close to the situation. I played basketball with him for a year. But let me tell you, he was the sweetest man. And I watched him interact with a variety of different people being really nice. And so that's... I can see that with him, just being such a...

I don't want to say contrarian, actually just caring about freedom so much that- That's the thing. I really think that the Trump hat, do I think he loves Trump's policies? No, I think he wore the hat one time, people were like, you can't wear that. And then he wore it for a year. Yeah, I'm gonna do it, yeah. And I think he does feel like we're controlled a lot by media and opinion. And I kind of see a lot of interesting thought process in terms of him being at the forefront of, he really is always ahead of the curve in a lot of things, that being said-

You know, my mother was outraged by his comments and rightfully so. But I think at his core, I really believe he's a good guy. Yeah. Yeah. That's tough.

Yeah. You're friends with both of them. Who's the better artist, Drake or Kanye? Better artist? Man, I can't even, they're both, here's what I'll say. I was in the studio one time with Kanye and it was just like me and Kanye and one other man. And it was like, already I'm like, this is the best day of my life. Like I'm like showing him the Freaky Friday music video before it's even out. I have my best bullet of content that I've ever had before it comes out to like show. Did he watch? Yeah. And he was like, that's amazing. And then Drake walked in. Yeah.

And I had no idea Drake was even coming. Oh, so they were in the studio together? This was a while ago, but yes. They've worked together plenty of times. This was back in like 2017. Yeah, like a real frenemy thing. And I'm in there with both of them, and I took the opportunity to be like fellas...

Let me just tell both of you while you're here that you guys are so by far my favorite two artists of all time that whoever is third, what a sizable gap there is between you two and that third player. And that's how I feel about them. Like, I think Kanye was coming when I was a kid and I love Kanye's music. And like, you know, not only just the messaging behind like the ambition, but also the musicality and like doing like...

that shit sounds better than ever and it's like so original and so great and Drake came along right when I became like a rapper and like man nothing has inspired me more as an actual rapper and musical artist than Drake like that guy every time I feel like I'm like hitting a lull as a rapper and I'm like

I'm like, I don't know how much I want to go to the studio today because I kind of am a little bit in a writer's blocky situation where I'm not loving. Then Drake drops the most inspiring shit I've ever heard. And both of them have been so nice to me. So I can't really delineate between Drake and Kanye. They're just my favorite artists ever. I also want to know, whenever you get into a situation, like you're at a party and there's someone that you really admire that's there, what is your protocol for how to interact with them?

Because you're just a regular dude from Philly. All of a sudden, now you're at these Hollywood parties. What do you do? Yeah.

I won't, you know, I'll try to have an organic, you know, I won't be like angling the whole time. Like, okay, there's Brad Pitt over there. I'm going to go inch my way closer to him. Hope he sees me. I'm not really strategic like that. But if I end up being in the same conversation, look, they either have seen my work. And honestly, if they have, they probably really respect me and like me. Or they've never seen my work. I'm just a guy. And I think everything I've done in my career has spawned off the premise of,

The way I behave in real life tends to be a way that people enjoy. Like, I really just started as, like, an enjoyable, funny, conversationally pleasing man. And that's how I carry myself. So I just act the way I act with whoever I'm meeting, not with, like, designs of, like, winning them over and getting them in my show, but, like, I just want... You know, the same way I'd want to be liked by anybody. I try to be liked by whoever I'm talking to and try to be a charming version of myself. And oftentimes it leads to...

positive creative synergy if later I'm like, I have a great idea for this person. Oh, I met them at that one party. Like when I call them, they're like, I remember that guy. He's cool. He's nice. He's not a weird guy. A lot of artists are really introverted and like don't want to be approached and don't want to be talked to. I'm just not that way. Like anytime a fan comes up to me and talks to me, like I find it minimally, even if it's the most brutally awkward interaction ever, I'm like, what a unique human interaction that was that I'll forever remember the specificity of and be able to like

mind comedy from. Or they'll be like really normal and shower me with praise. Like either way, I don't lose, you know? So I just think I approach everything the same way I'm talking to anybody. And that I think is why a lot of these icons are,

resonate with me because they can tell that I'm just being myself. But you're comfortable complimenting them and telling them how much you admire them. Oh, yeah. Like, I know how much it means to me when Drake and Kanye tell me they fuck with me. So I know how much maybe it'll mean to someone else if I tell them... I mean, who knows? It doesn't mean anything to Brad Pitt, but, like, in my email to Brad Pitt, I certainly said, you have...

like totally defined like cinema for me for my whole, you know what I mean? Like, and it's true. And the guys like Brad Pitt worked their ass off. So that means a lot to them. Yeah, they want to influence a generation and a culture. And I think they like hearing that like these new wave of people wouldn't be doing- Are inspired for sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think-

Yeah, I think that makes a lot of sense. I think there's sometimes people maybe in their discomfort with, you know, withhold their true feelings or admiration for the person that they're talking to. A lot of posture. I don't posture. Yeah. Like really keep it real at all times. And I think that is genuinely accepted. Like people like that, especially if it's coming from a real place, not like you're trying to schmooze them. But when you really, I don't know, I've always felt that like when I really admire someone for a specific thing, not that they're just the famous person around them.

I really fucking admire them. The conversation is so easy. Yeah. Because you have a million things that you want to say that are nuanced and specific and they can see that you actually care about the art or the thing that they're doing. Yeah. And it's the easiest flow in the world. It's always uncomfortable like when I just don't admire them and I don't care. And in those situations, I'm not going to bother. I don't care how famous you are. Yeah.

But yeah, I think that is a good point. Lead with what you fucking care about. I really think the core of my entire being and the success I've had really comes from being yourself. Like I think that's the reason that I'm able to be a white rapper making jokes in a predominantly black landscape because I'm just not coming in and like trying to like act like Mr. Cool Guy. I'm just like being myself. Yeah. Be yourself, guys. That's cool. We're here with Dave.

Thank you so much. I've had so much fun. Oh, wow. Three hours and 17 minutes of a conversation. No, that's three 17. Guys, go check out Penith right now. Go check out Ha Ha Ha on YouTube right now. And then go check out whatever future projects Dave is going to cook up. We're excited to see them, my boy. Guys, thank you for having me. This was so fun. This was great. And one day we're going to see that joint.

I really believe. I think it's going to happen. I think it's going to happen. Three to five years exactly. I do too. I really do. Guys. Dave Byrd, everybody. Thank you.