Israel & Palestine Conflict, UFC 294 Reaction, & Schulz Tour Recap
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This is Arabic tobacco. You ever tried this before? I can barely hit a vape pen without vomiting. It's legal, you can buy it at a gas station. Gas station drugs are the best. Alright, you hit it. Okay, here's the thing. It's no fun if I hit it first because then you know what you're going to feel. How many black people got set up with that one before? No big deal. Just...

God. Are you going to hit? No, I'm not going to hit it. I don't care. I don't care. Come on, just take one little hit of the Meduach. Oh. All right. What's going on here, boys? Cozy, guys. What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flagrant. We just got back from Abu Dhabi. Okay? For some reason...

Tanya and Dov are still there. We're still figuring out what the issue with that is. We're doing our best to get them back over. They had some more questions for them while they were there. What do you think that was? I don't know. We had to start a podcast. We were already probably a day late on this. Apologies. But we're here, and we're in touch with the embassies and everything, and we're going to hope that they'll be back.

So in the meantime, if you have any questions about Israel, Palestine, now is the time to ask. And we'll get to the bottom of it. No, no. We're out in Abu Dhabi in Dubai. That's the last destination. Obviously, we did the European tour as well. And it was awesome, man. The show in Abu Dhabi was insane. Really? It was insane. And I didn't edit anything. That's what I wanted to ask. How were they about flagrancy? Oh, they were loving it. There was one joke.

that I was concerned about. And I don't want to say it, but I'm sure if anybody's seen the life tour, they're probably aware of it. And there was one joke. And in the moment, I was like, I don't know. And I was like, fuck it, I'll just do it. And they fucking exploded. Really? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Not like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good point. Good point. They exploded. There's no more anti-autority. Be more sensitive. Come on. No, no. It was crazy. And...

Yeah, the Emirates is just, it's really interesting. Like everybody there, like all the locals, they went to school in America somewhere or they went to school in England. So like they're fluent, English is perfect, and they are aware of all like the cultural stuff, like they've experienced the cultural stuff. So like it was probably, that was probably our most fluent American audience. Really? Yeah.

In American culture. In American culture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. London as well, but I was shocked because I think we all went into it going, I don't know what they're going to find funny. I don't know what's going on. You also have the guys in the robes, the Condoras they're called. So you're thinking, okay, are they going to get all these things? But all those dudes went to school in America and they didn't go to school in New York. They went to school in Alabama, Tennessee, Arkansas. So they're really aware of it. And yeah, it was fun. I didn't edit anything.

Yeah, it was really cool. It was really cool. Yeah, I'll get hit up sometimes be like, hey, you got to come to Dubai to do a show. And I'm like, no, that seems crazy. What would I do? That seems dangerous. And they will always say, no, you don't get it. We're way more down than you think. Yeah, it's cool to know. Yeah, it was fire. I think way more down like that because they don't get it necessarily. Like they don't get that type of thing. Not that many people go there. And the people that do go there, I think, go on with this conception. They're terrified. Oh, this is like a very conservative Muslim country. Like you can't do the certain things you would normally do.

And so I think people probably button it up. Whereas they're like, yo, we- And they also tell you like-

There's like five different versions of what you can or can't say. Okay. You know, the promoters are saying one thing, but the promoters might be from outside of the Emirates. So they're worried about their reputation. So they're like, don't touch about these things. And then you talk to the people there on that side. They're like, yeah, kind of, you know, say whatever you want. Like, they're like, listen, don't trash Islam. That's not a good idea. But, you know, have jokes, do whatever. And but the audience is like, I mean, like women hijabis, women in the hijab just fucking dying laughing and playing with jokes. Yeah.

So it was very cool. People are people, bro. Yeah.

People are people. They just like jokes. It was funny, but it's not funny. And yeah, to what you said, I do think there's a thing where the more constrictive a culture is, the more the comedy club is the haven where everybody can come laugh. It's different, but we talk about Portland, and you'll say the audiences love the offensive jokes because outside, none of that is allowed. So we go to this place where now, oh, I can finally hear it. Let's go. I'm dying. Especially if it's with love. You did a good job, though. You didn't go up and just be like,

Hey, here are my jokes. The first 15 minutes, he's talking about deep cut, like I'm sure you're going to put clips out from it, right? Yeah. You're talking about like deep cut things that like you only know if you grew up in Abu Dhabi. Yeah. Like even people from Dubai were like, oh, wow. Like it's so nuanced. It's so niche. There's a guy sitting in front of us at the show while we were watching. And the whole time he's just like,

How does he know this? He's touching the people next to him, he's like, how did he figure this out? Yeah. Speaking in Arabic words that they were like, this is insane. So you did a good job of being inserted into the culture. And I think if they see that, then they know that you're not coming there just judging them and basically criticizing all their shit that's different from yours. They're like, okay, it took a little second to absorb what's going on. And then I think they give you the longest leash time.

They're the most open about anything else you say because you're not coming through with that critical lens. Right, right, right. The intention is good. He took the time to learn about us. Yeah, yeah. It was fun. So I'll put some clips out for it. But there was some fun shit. It was fire, bro. Our hotel in Abu Dhabi was literally in the middle of the F1 track.

Holy shit. So the hotel is built. And like, there's my bathroom where I would take a shit. I look out the window and that's where the F1 car and everything go. And we got on the fucking F1 track. Yeah, that was fire. That was crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a set of roosters. You just hear, and that wakes you up. Literally, literally. Yeah. You think it's awesome and you get to it, like, dude, we're on the track. And then like 10 a.m., it's just. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We could move the schedule a little bit. Yeah. But dude, it was so cool. Are we allowed to share some of the people that came to the show? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what the rule of that is. But before the show starts, there's one of the promoters that's there. And I'm going through all my jokes being like, is any of this funny? Is any of this going to work? Do they know what this means at all? I'm like so stressed. I'm only doing like 12, 15 minutes. But I'm just like so, so anxious. And I talked to the promoter and she looks super nervous.

And I'm like, wait, what's going on? And she's like, well, one of the members of the royal family that's a little bit higher up in the family than we anticipated showed up tonight. And we didn't anticipate them to be here. We expected some of the lower levels of the family to be here. Did you know this? We didn't tell them. No one told us because we were like, oh, this could be an issue. And so they're like, yeah, one of the members of the royal family. And again, United Arab Emirates is controlled by...

Basically one royal family. Every different emirate has a royal family. Basically seven different tribes that got organized by one guy. And that guy was from Abu Dhabi. Abu Dhabi is where all the real money is. They have oil still. They have gas still. Dubai doesn't have any oil or gas. And their whole bet in Dubai was, yo, let's turn it into a tourism hub because we're going to run out of the oil and gas. But originally these were all their individual tribes. And they're organized by Zaid. What's his name? Sheikh Zaid. Sheikh Zaid.

And he convinced a bunch of these other tribes to lock in. Now, there's a few that didn't. I don't think Oman decided not to. They're like, we'll do our own thing. It's like Stringer Bell for oil. Right, exactly. Qatar and Bahrain. Qatar, Bahrain, they decided not to, but then the other ones got down. So we're sitting there. I'm talking to the girl. I'm like, okay, on level one being the biggest dude and 10 being a lower-level person, what would you rate it? She was like, probably three or four. Oh, fuck. And so we're like...

Okay. Yeah. And so we're going through the jokes. Like he's going through jokes. I should I say this one? Should I do this one? And then no, I don't know if it's going to be expats or locals. Yeah. And by locals, that means you have to be born as an Emirati. You're not born there. Like you have to be part of an expat people who moved from the U S to,

Right? No. Okay. The opposite. So you have to be like from there. You're a tribal from there. And then an expat that moves there is not considered a local. Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. An expat is someone who comes from somewhere else. Yes, yes, yes. So then we do the show. The show's amazing. Then afterwards, the promoter kind of comes up to Dove and Andrew, and they're like, members of the royal family would like to meet you. Crazy. What are you thinking in this moment? Because you didn't even know they were there. Anybody I see in the Condora, I assume, is the royal family. What?

It's really amazing. It's an amazing way that when everybody puts on the outfit, you just kind of assume. So you don't know. And the royal doesn't get a stick or anything to let you know that there's a crown or anything like that. So it's actually kind of cool in that way where anybody you see is dressed the same. So the flex happens in another way, not just the clothing. Where obviously in America or something else, we're flexing. Right?

They don't have a bunch of logos on there. Supreme Kandora. So I was giving royal treatment to some bums probably. I'm seeing a Kandora, I'm like, what's up, man? How you doing? It's nerve wracking. Yeah, the rules are gonna come back. We're not allowed to say no to them if they wanna meet you. That's kind of the rule. Imagine saying no. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. They're coming back right now and yeah, they would like to speak with you. And then the dude comes back and what happens? I think, yeah, I think that's it.

Yeah, I think it was just, it was vibes. It was fun. The nicest guy. He's like a 20-year-old dude. Super sweet. Huge fan of comedy. Loves Schultz. Had the best time of the show. Brought all his boys. It was just, yeah, it was fun. And all of these things that I made up in my head of like, oh, they're going to be this and conservative. They were just like, no. They're kids. We just like jokes. We just like hanging out with the boys. They're just kids. Yeah, it was crazy. We went out to get some food. They're like, hey, do you want to come back to our palace and play FIFA? Huh.

This is Mark's dream, dude. We would like to do that. I started instigating. We were talking shit. I was like, dude, I'm going to watch you in FIFA. If I beat you in FIFA, I get citizenship. I'm going to sports watch you. It was crazy. It was so fun. And then he had one of the most insane comebacks in FIFA history. Oh, yeah. I couldn't let them beat me, bro. You can't do that, dude. I mean, he beat me, but it was penalty kicks. It was penalty kicks. You were bragging about a loss here? But it was a good comeback, though.

That's a Schultz win. That is a Schultz win. That is a Schultz win right there. No, it was just fun. It was cool learning little things about the spot. I didn't understand the whole license plate shit. No.

Have you heard about this thing where license plates are incredibly expensive there? No. The smaller the number, it's like- Yeah. Okay. The higher they are or- Or it's just more expensive. Okay. Right? And it's like if you buy, someone bought number three for like $10 million or some shit like that. Yeah. And I was like, yo, what's the deal with this? Because I didn't understand it. I was like, this seems like such a flagrant waste of money.

And one of the kids was like, yo, when everybody has a G wagon, like it ain't a flex. Yeah. And people are going to find their ways to flex outside of just having a G wagon. So it's the license plate number. And then, then he was like, and now what's happening is if,

if people don't want you to know who they are, they buy a shitty number. So if you got real money, the way of kind of like making your identity a little bit more obscure is to not have the low number. And is that its own flex? Like people who buy designer clothes in America and they're like, I don't want the logo on it at all. Yeah. Whereas when you first get money, you're like, I want the logo everywhere. Yeah. And you got to say like, they are first getting money. We're talking about like, they've been, you know,

Rich for 50 years. Yeah. They've only been in country for like 70. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like they're still learning how to deal with money, what to spend it on, where you invest, like what kids are going to do with their life. Like it's just, I don't know. It was just a very interesting thing. I had no expectation really going in for this.

I was like, okay, it's just going to be big glitz, glamour, hotels are crazy, super flex, et cetera. And then just getting into the nuances of the culture I thought was kind of cool. Can you explain this? Some people had a license plate more expensive than the car? Like some people had a Nissan? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They told me that back in the day-

During the war, they sided with Kuwait, I guess, against Iraq. And the guy who had the Nissan dealership rights in the country basically gave the army Nissans.

So now Nissan is like a beloved brand there. So everybody gets these Nissans and as a way to just show respect. But then you put the super high license plate on it. So you let people know like, I don't have to have a Nissan. Yeah. You know what I mean? I got it. And probably they were saying like dating is wild. Like you can't just take a girl to your house because obviously it's strict Muslim rules. Like your mom is gonna tell their mom there's only a million Emiratis.

So what they do is they'll like have their first dates and they'll fucking like mall parking lots. So you basically get the SUV that can get folded back and then you go to a mall parking lot and that's your fucking date. And you can't go to the hotel because every hotel you got to show your ID and that will get back to mom and pops. So they got to find all these workarounds for the system when they're not banging out Russian hookers and shit. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was cool. Bro, it was awesome. Chamonix, can you explain that? Yeah.

I don't even know how to get into it. Yeah, man, we'll put out all the clips and everything like that. But yeah, it was really cool. I'm excited for everybody to see it. But it was good that I think that was like our last stop. Yeah. So cool. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was really fun. And it was an arena. Like we watched the UFC fight in the same place the night before. Holy shit. Yeah, that was dope too. UFC fight was crazy. Yeah. Did you guys watch that fight? I did. I saw that fight too. Thoughts?

I mean, Volk took the fight on such short notice. I just hope he's doing okay. I love him. It was obviously we hate to see him lose, but it was just like, fuck, dude. I hate that he took that fight on such short notice. Yeah.

Yeah. And he was very transparent in the post-fight interview. I don't know if you saw it. No, I didn't see it. But he was getting a little emotional. He was just like, hey, man, you know, in between fights, like I didn't have a fight and I was kind of doing my head in. And he goes, and I know I shouldn't. Like I have a beautiful family and I have my lovely children and everything, but it was still really hard for me. So I like to stay busy. But it was, I think he was like explaining something that a lot of athletes probably go through. Yeah. Which is, you know, dealing with the fact that you're not happy when you have everything you want. Mm-hmm.

You're recognized as one of the greatest to ever do it. You have a beautiful family, you have beautiful children, you have money, and you're still kind of struggling. And him taking the fight, I think that was part of that. He's like, I need this goal. I need something to work towards. I need to be in the game. And having him open up about that was almost like tearing up. That's very cool. But yeah, so it was a bummer to see him lose. And then Kamaru, I thought Kamaru beat...

I thought he won. I had a 2-1. Really? I didn't think he won, but I thought it was a great fight. Or even. Yeah. I had him winning the second round, and then obviously Tumai winning the first round, and the third round could have gone even. But Kamaru was starting to get the better of him. Yeah.

Yeah, I thought it would have gone five rounds. Again, I don't know much. I thought Kamaru lost the third round, but I think if it had gone five, he would have won. Yeah, I mean, it was coming on. Watching it on TV, could you guys hear Andrew screaming, he don't want it, he don't want it from Rob? So my dad is like three rows behind me. The second this decision gets announced...

His dad is like laser beam eye or uncle or somebody goes in fucking Russian. I don't know what that is. Like and no smile, nothing. Yeah, they don't fuck around. Dead serious. Didn't say nothing during the fight though.

Because he was waiting. Because he wasn't confident. But you know who won me over? Jemai won me over, bro. Like afterwards. Even the embrace they had afterwards was great. Beautiful. I think he's one of those dudes where it's like he's a very nice, sweet,

sensitive like kind person that happens to be one of the most talented people on the planet at hand-to-hand combat murdering people and like it like that whole culture is like yeah all of them kind thoughtful sweet nobody's an asshole nobody's but they understand what they have to do to like sell the fights yeah which is kind of like antithetical to how they're raised so they do it to sell the fights yeah but outside of that like naturally humble humble chill

Yeah. Yeah, it was fucking, it was really cool. The energy was really cool. Yeah. Your twin was cool. Zlatan. Oh, yeah. That's insane, dude. Bro, I go up to meet, I saw Zlatan, right? I go up to meet, you know Zlatan? Yeah. And remember we posted that clip about the LeBron James jersey, where LeBron sends him a jersey, he signs it back, sends it to him. I go up to meet him, I was like, hey man, I just want to say hello, like a big fan, really appreciate you. And he looks up to me, he goes, you like that jersey thing, don't you? Yeah.

I'm like, you saw it? That's so crazy. Of course I saw it. And I was like, dude, I love it. He goes, yes, if he come to me with the jersey, obviously I don't do this. I give him a jersey. But to mail me a jersey, not with a purse, who does he think he is? Dude.

That's so fire. That's so fire. Yeah, it was amazing. He is Latin the whole time. Even as we were leaving, Dove was like, oh, you should come do stand-up. And he's like, you'd be lucky if I showed up to the show. No, no, no, wait. Hold on. We offered to come on the podcast, and he's like, why? Why would you do this? You have to give him something that he hasn't done. We're like, look, open up for Schultz, two minutes, and then his eyes lit up. Mm-hmm.

Maybe we'll work on this. Yes. And then he goes and starts speaking different languages. He says, I could do it in any language. He goes Italian. He goes, what else did he, Swedish? Yeah. No, it was fire. Bro, legends. Yeah, it was cool. Just meeting Dana and Hunter and all the guys, it was really cool. Yeah. It was really cool. Yeah. Yeah. And shout out to Rogan, man, setting it up with the tickets, bro. That was vibes. Yeah, legends. Yeah. We rolled deep. That's the other thing. We rolled deep. Like, whenever I ask for tickets, it's an asshole thing to do. Yeah.

How many do you need is my least favorite question again. Because it's a lot. And then he made it happen. It was really fucking cool. That's very cool. Announcement. The Life Tour is coming back to America, okay? We announced the first three cities, Chicago, D.C., and Boston.

We just added second shows in all three of those cities. Thank you guys so much for grabbing tickets. Theandrewschultz.com, go there right now. Get those tickets before they're gone. And then Australia, the Life Tour is coming in a couple weeks. I'm incredibly excited. Perth, thank you so much for selling out the show. We added a second show, okay? Sydney, thank you so much for selling out the Superway Theater. We added a second show. Melbourne,

That was insane. Show is officially sold out. Thank you so much. Where they play the fucking Australian Open, that's going to be unbelievable. Brisbane, we just added more seats in the arena out there. Thank you guys so much. Adelaide, sold out. Thank you so much. Go grab those tickets, whatever is left, and I'll see you guys there soon. And then some pretty cool announcements for the Life Tour back home in the States coming very soon.

Stay tuned in for those. Peace.

Also, December 8th, New Orleans, Louisiana. My first time ever performing there. Super hype about this. And this is important. December 17th through 19th, UK. We just added a second show December 18th in London. Thank you guys for selling out the first show with two months to spare. So we're adding a second. Also, January 18th through 20th, I'm going to be in D.C. January 26th and 27th, Salt Lake City, Utah. Wise guys. Get those tickets at akashsingh.com.

Awesome fight card. Let's go to another awesome fight card. You were at the Logan Paul fight. Yes! So that was awesome. Yes. Yeah. No. Yeah, I mean, the KSI Tommy Fury fight sucks, man. It was just so bad. Tommy Fury's really not good. Yeah. He's, like, really bad. He's really bad at boxing. And, like... Well, compared to what? At this point, we don't know, but, like... Professional boxer. Yeah, compared to what he should be, which is a professional boxer. Especially when your brother's...

He comes from a legacy of boxing. He's just been around it his entire life. He should absorb it. And listen, here's the thing. KSI has this really weird style, which actually makes sense for how little he's been boxing. He has power and he has speed. So you curate a style-

That works for what you have. He's not gonna outbox a guy who's been boxing for 15 years by standing in front of him. You have to curate a style that maximizes the things that you do well. So he was doing this like karate kind of stance and really creating distance then lunging in. Tommy could do absolutely nothing to mitigate it. Yeah. Like there was no adjustment made. What do you think the adjustment is? You beat him to the punch with a straight right. Okay. Okay.

Or you get the jab going. He kind of stuck the jab a little bit and then kind of stopped, but no change happened. Like, I think Tommy probably won the fight. It was close, but it shouldn't be close. Yeah. KSI's got 15 other fucking jobs. And I don't know why Tommy was...

like staying with the grab because that only helps KSI exactly like push him off you and box him he was just like kept doing it no it was bad yeah it was bad that was a shitty fight to watch and the other one was worse actually that was the only fight of the night really because the other one wasn't really you can't even call that a fight bro I the Logan fight went exactly how we thought yeah

It was a decision, Logan. And then, obviously, I didn't think that Dylan was going to outbox him. I thought Dylan would box. Yeah. I actually thought Dylan would win because he sat so confidently in this seat and was like, I'm fucking going. I thought he was going to do a little bit more of what he did. At least I called it. I knew he was going to do some UFC shit. Yeah. Yeah. That would figure it out. Because I know he's like, hey, I don't want to take an L. So I'd be like, nah, nah. Stop. Because I started fighting over some souls and stuff like that.

That's what I figured. But I didn't think he would not throw punches for five and a half rounds or whatever and then just try to... And he didn't even get the takedown. But he's also sad to watch. Yeah, that was sad. I mean, you got to give Logan credit for him not wanting to engage as much. Like, Logan boxed well. Logan did box well. He was landing punches and...

Dylan kept pressuring him the entire fight. It's not like Dylan just sat in a corner and was running. Dylan kept pressing, but he couldn't get off. He couldn't get off. Logan's coach, you got to thank him because he was just throwing crazy punches in the beginning. If he would have stayed doing that, he would have tired out. He would have made a mistake. And that's what Logan's coach said, chill. Yeah, Logan's coach is like, yo, chill, pick your spot.

He made that adjustment and it was a wrap. Because Dylan was just hoping that he just got tired out. Yeah, and then he was going to land something big. Dylan wore those punches though.

He took big shots and walked them down. That was impressive to me. I kind of expected that he wouldn't get knocked out, but the level of shots that he took, even body shots, it just kept on walking. It just kept coming forward. Yeah, I just thought he would throw, I don't know, three punches. Yeah. You want him to be more active and throw more, but you've got to give Logan credit for that. Listen, if punches aren't landing on you, it's very easy to throw punches.

But when they are landing on you, you're worried about that defense. You're worried about getting caught. And he got caught in a second. I thought Logan was going to drop him in a second. This motherfucker ain't going down. You got to think Dylan's calculation, though, is don't get knocked out. If you don't get knocked out, it's a draw. His win is not getting knocked out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. I didn't think it was a win. He didn't fight. I thought if he lost...

like a warrior just based on the way he presented the fight. All right, cool, man. You went out. You got hit. You did your fucking thing. Just see, and I don't know much, but I just saw this weird defensive stance. Didn't throw any punches and that's where I was like, dude, what is this? This is wasting my life. I'm 39. I don't know how long I'm going to

I'm going to live life that I could be living, doing anything else, watching a blank screen. I'm not going to feel meditative. He owes you 18 minutes. You owe me 18 minutes. But the Logan, the Logan Danis fight was interesting and entertaining. The crowd was into it. Yeah. To you. No, not to me. Everybody there. Yeah. Like the energy was, the energy was insane.

to everybody there because there was action. You have to understand, even if Dylan's just getting pounded by Logan, that's still what people are there to see. They're there to see a fight. The KSI Tommy fight was hugging the whole time. Maybe a punchline. That was like...

Beyond boring. It's probably just it's different being in the room because watching that on TV, it's like the Logan-Dennis fight was boring as fuck. Really? At least with the KSI shit, it's like, all right, he's trying. He's not good, but he's trying. Completely opposite in the arena. Wow.

Snooze fest for the second one. People starting to look at their phones, like do other things, like booing. And again, this is their hometown. And it was just like, what the fuck is going on here? But Dylan Logan was like, big shots are getting landed. Oh, wow. Big. See, I felt bored watching both. Yeah. But the second one was a bit more fun to watch. It was more fun, but again, it was more frustrating than boring. Yeah. Because it was like any time there was action, hug, hug, hug, hug. Yeah.

And that was, I guess, frustrating and not boring. The Logan-Dylan fight, I found myself bored. Again, maybe I just expected Dylan to throw, and I don't know boxing, so maybe I was an idiot who bought a, whatever, got sold a bill of goods by Dylan. But, like, I thought Dylan was going to throw. Logan threw. It's so interesting, like, how the narrative changed.

Like the narrative was he won't even show up. Yeah. And that changed for you too. Well, why isn't he just going in there and beating the shit out of him? I mean, because that's what he said. Right. He also said he was going to show up to the other fights and then didn't show up. So, so there was a narrative, like even before he even came out,

I was sitting there and Mike was actually like, do you think he's going to walk out? Wow. So there was a moment even before the fight started was, is this fight going to happen? Yeah. I got pretty convinced it was going to happen. Yeah. But you're still thinking about a little bit. And the narrative is so shifted to now say, yo, why didn't he go there and beat the shit up? Yeah. Yeah. The energy inside the room, though, a little bit to me felt like like high school after school fight energy.

But that makes perfect sense. And that's what all these YouTube fights are going to be about, because they're not watching for the skill. It feels a little weirder, though. I didn't enjoy the energy as much. You go to a real boxing match or a UFC fight, and it's a bunch of fight fans that are ready to see two warriors really trying to help. And just high-level skill. I can see how you get put off.

by that after enough. Like, you're in it long enough and you're like, you know what, I don't really like. Because, like, a lot of people trying to be seen. Like, a lot of people, like, there's fights breaking out, which is common in fight sports. But, like, it just felt like everyone had cameras. Oh, that's the other thing. Six interviews for Andrew. Everybody's trying to get a clip. Everybody's trying to get a clip of something. Videotaping you and, ah, clip it, clip it.

Clip it. Every person coming up to you on mic is trying to get you in some sort of weird situation where they have this viral video that's from it. Yeah, that I agree. And that was an uncomfortable energy to be around. Because I never feel that at a fight. Like when I was at the UFC, it's not like every single person there was some form of influencer that was going to potentially use me in a compromising situation to get views. Yeah.

And feeling that, every person that asks, I'm not someone who says no to pictures. I'm not somebody who says no to video. I always say every single time. But every time I went into it, I was like, who is this person? And how are they going to try to exploit me? Did anybody get you?

No, I was pretty sharp on it. He was locked in. Yeah, I was like- He was locked in. You see him on stage, it's the same vibe. While people are coming up to him, he's like, all right, okay, this person, he's triangulating. I don't even know if you drank at all. You were like- No, I was pretty sharp. And I said the same thing in every single interview. Okay.

Every single interview. This is the Charlemagne tactic that I learned from the red carpet. I was just going to say that. When I was on the red carpet with him at MTV, he's such a genius. He would have his shtick ready for whatever they were going to ask him out because they're going to ask the same question every single time. So he had his bit ready to go. And it kind of kills their clip. Like if they're just using you for a clip, it's like, well, there's six interviews and you're saying the same thing. The opposite. It gives them a better clip.

Here's your funny thing. Here's your funny thing that you could clip, but now it's on my terms, not your terms. And your terms are always going to be the most lo-fi. So it's just, what is this funny little anecdote that you could give them? So I just had my thing ready to go, and I was just like, whatever they're coming after. After seeing those fights, is there any interest left for...

influencer fighters. Yes, 100%. KSI, Jake, you can watch. This is the thing that people... You want to see KSI. It's not about that. Can I counterpoint? Did you care at all to see Dylan and Jake, or Dylan and Logan before they started doing promo? These guys are also entertainers by trade. They're great at promoting their fights. So every fight, pretty much, when it was announced, for the most part, I've been like, eh. And then by the end, I'm like, all right, I want to see how this goes. I just... So maybe Jake is probably the only one because we actually see him getting better.

But the others aren't necessarily getting better. It's like. Yeah, but look at your metric for interest. Your metric for interest is skill. You're like, they're getting better at the skill and I want to see skill. Yeah. It's a high school after school fight. Okay. Which I'm interested in every single time.

Right? If I see two people on the subway arguing with each other and I think it's going to fight, I'm locked in. And once that is your expectation, and the more you're invested in one of those sides, the more you're going to see it. So it's not about the skill. It's about these two people that you really care about, you either really love or really hate, and you want to see justice. Right? If I switched my outlook, then maybe I can appreciate it. You liked fighting before this. A lot of these kids that are watching, I think, weren't fight fans. No. No.

Like, I think they grew up in YouTube spaces. They were young. They were watching streaming. It's not surprising, but you go there and there's like, oh, 14-year-olds, 15-year-olds. Yeah. Like, ooh, not you. Yeah. And so it's like they grew up watching soccer. Yeah.

Like being a fight fan doesn't happen unless you're like a legacy fight fan. Like my dad got me into fighting early. You don't get into fighting until a little bit later. Maybe as an adult, you start to box for exercise. You're like, oh, this is kind of fun. You start watching some boxing matches, et cetera. Or you have like a friend who's really into it. Because we had Mike Tyson. So it's like we had this golden age of fucking boxing that we came up in. And even then, it's not even the biggest sport.

To me, it felt like if it was a Mike Tyson fight, everybody stopped what the fuck they were doing that night and had the TV on. Or if they had

What you could call YouTube culture surrounding, which is like those 24 sevens. So HBO did those 24 seven series and all of a sudden, exactly. You're like, now I'm invested in this person. That's what these streamers are doing all the time. That's what these YouTubers are doing. They're getting you invested. So if you're going to see the person that you love go into a situation where they could get knocked out, I gotta watch. Yeah. So I don't think it affects it at all. I mean, the shit was sold the fuck out. It was crazy. Oh yeah, they made some money. Yeah. And they were there early. Mm.

Like it wasn't, they just like with regular boxing, people show up for the last fight. That shit was packed when we showed up. Oh, word. Packed. Wow. Yeah. So I think it's just about making sure there's a reason to see people fight. Like if Jake wanted to fight Logan right now, you don't think that that would do crazy numbers? Oh, that one we need to see. I mean. Like that's the one we need to see, but I don't think we're ever going to see that. I don't.

I think we could see that. I don't think we see that. I think we will see. I think we will see that. I don't think we see that. I think we will see that. Do we want to see that? Logan? I don't. Logan don't want that.

I'm just saying. Logan's biggest offer. Logan don't want no problems. I think at the end of the day, these guys are entertainers. And they know what will make money and what will sell. They sell very well. And nothing will sell better. No fight, maybe in history, will sell better than that. I'm not saying it'll be the best fight or even necessarily a good fight. No fight will have as high stakes as that, ever. I'm fighting my brother. I mean, who the fuck is not interested?

Logan ain't going to do that, bro. He's so happy that fight. He's like, Rey Mysterio, I got you, bro. That's what he want. He want a five-foot Mexican. Anybody else still a little high? No. Come on, Otter. Do you think Dylan goes UFC?

You see him, he pulled out of Bellator, I think. Yeah, he said he won't release from Bellator. I mean, that's the most logical move for him. But he needs to get training and he needs to train the hands too. The jiu-jitsu is nice. He's going to be in the UFC and he's going to be better than everybody in the UFC at jiu-jitsu. You have that. But we've seen people who are nice at jiu-jitsu, when they go up against guys that can mitigate the jiu-jitsu and have hands, they have real fucking problems. So he needs to get in there, take it serious, and do it. Now, if you're the UFC, you go...

This guy can sell the fuck out of a fight. I mean, he just sold a million pay-per-view and people were not tuning in for KSI Tommy. No, they're tuning in for Logan and Dylan so he can sell fights. So if it's not UFC, maybe it's another one of these fledgling promotional companies that wants to get after it. And they could put, give the bag to a guy who could sell the fuck out of a fight. So let's see if he wants to do it. Three things. Did they drop the lawsuit?

I don't know. That's a good question. I got to ask. Why is Logan not fighting him in MMA? Because he shook hands and said he would fight him if he shows up to the fight. Or I don't know if he gives his purse away. Yeah, if he gives his purse. So it's like both of them need to honor their... Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah, I don't think Logan should do that. Yeah, that's going to be tough.

Yeah, I don't think he should do that. I mean, he shouldn't, but he said he was going to do it. And, well, there's a perfect example. Like, people will pay for that fight. Yeah. People will pay for it again. Because now it's like you even it up. You got power. You got height. You got reach. But he got the grab. You want to do a crazy fight right now? Oh, boy. Let me get into my promotional journey. Hit it. You ready? Oh. Same night, Nate Diaz versus Jake Paul, MMA.

Logan versus Dylan MMA. Yeah, that's fine. I'm paying for that. I'll go. We're going. We're going. Yes. We're going. Perfect example. You can keep dancing with this thing and keep making crazy money. And as long as the guys are walking out and they're okay, like the bare knuckle thing is different. You see what someone looks like after a bare knuckle fight. That's true. It's rough. Yeah, you're different. Your face is different. I wonder if you take less damage in an MMA fight if you get choked. Yeah.

Yeah, they say that with MMA, it's like less cerebral damage. With boxing, it's just constant. It's like you're an offensive lineman or something like that. It's just constant. Microconcussions or whatever they call it. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, that would be, now we're into it. That is Cage right there.

That's one. Yeah, that'd be crazy. All right, guys, we just talked sports. So you know what that means? It's prize picks times. Your boys' cold streak ended last week. My prize picks are on point. So Wacos locks their back, baby. First of all, I'm telling you, Tua Tagovailoa gets more than 272.5 yards passing. They got embarrassed last week in Philly. It will not happen again. They will bounce back. And Adam Phelan will get less than 68.5 yards receiving. I just don't believe it. I'm sorry. I

I love you, Adam Thielen, but I don't believe in it. So those are your prize picks. You're Akash Singh Lox. All you got to do if you haven't already signed up is go to prizepicks.com and you will get a 100% deposit match up to $100 with the promo code Schultz. So that's a free $100 if you want it. Again, prizepicks.com, 100% deposit match.

Up to $100 with the promo code Schultz. Let's get back to the show. Manchester was cool, man. We had a good vibe. It's cool to see like tribal white people. Because y'all aren't allowed to do that here. Well, the only... Not that cool to see that. The only... It's not that cool. It's a couple of January 6th. The only tribal white people... January 6th looked pretty fun. We can be completely objective here. Fun, not fun? Didn't seem not fun. All right, baby.

You wouldn't get the pay-per-view to watch the January 6th. You wouldn't just watch it from home. Watch fucking Pelosi running around. It'd be awesome. When you're in England, you get to see tribal whites. And in America, you only see Italians that are like that. Culturally tribal. The Irish a bit, but I think the Irish are so mixed.

in general. And then, yeah, so it's like you go there and within 30 minutes distance, they speak completely differently. Like Liverpool to Manchester, the accents are completely different. They're culturally different. The way they identify is completely different. The way they relate to the crown is completely different. And-

Yeah, you get how like the soccer teams or the football teams are a manifestation of that tribalism. So everything you feel about your town, you get to express through this game. And when you're playing against this other town that probably thousands of years ago, you guys used to fucking go to war with and shit. It is. That's why they'll fight. What are they? The hooligans? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they are distinctly different. Like an hour away.

Like in New York, there's an accent from the Bronx to Brooklyn, like a little bit. The way that the scouts speak in Liverpool is for one hour difference, it is the same as from Texas to Mexico. No. Bro, it is crazy. But they look the same. They just sound the same. Look the same, dress the same, act the same. And then they say the word chicken. Yeah.

Yeah. Shechen. Shechen. Koch. Okay. So it's like. That's Liverpool? That's Liverpool. Yeah. Yeah. So it's just, it was like, I don't know, it's cool to go see that.

And then obviously going up to Scotland was the shit. Oh yeah. We linked up with your family. Yeah. My family all came out like doing a show in fucking Scotland. Yeah. And yeah, it was just, that was an honor. That was really fun. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Now I want to ask you also Royal Albert music, uh,

Royal Albert Hall. Yeah. It's like a historic venue. Burr filmed a special there. What was that like? Oh, that was crazy. I mean, like that, that venue was just. That's one of the bucket lists like of dream venues. Yeah. It's beautiful. It was beautiful. There's like this gigantic organ in the back and like, it's stunning. It's like massive, but also intimate. Yeah.

And yeah, it was just unbelievable to be there. And you know, Emma's whole family was there. That's the first time they've ever seen me. Holy shit. That's a pretty good way to meet. So there was another expectation. And this, this hour, anybody who's seen is like by far the most intimate and personal hour that I've ever done. So like it,

raises the stakes when they're there. But it also lets them meet you, get to know you, and see you being successful all in an hour without you having to do it right here. So it's kind of nice if it goes well. I mean, the risks are there, but if it goes well, great, we're good. Yeah, it was so weird. It's like I wasn't nervous. I was just hyper aware of anything sexual. Do you know what I mean? I was confident it would go well, but any time that they were like,

sexual references where I was like, oh wow, her family is here. Whereas if I'm doing it in Ireland, I never even thought about it. Do you ever change stuff if your girl's family is here? Has her family seen you?

Her mom has seen me perform. Her dad has not. And I definitely softened it a bit. Yeah, yeah. Definitely. I don't, you know, even stuff about her my mother-in-law loves. Yeah, yeah. But I definitely softened it a bit. Did you soften anything? Come on, say. Yeah.

This guy. I was there when you did it. Oh, that was hilarious. It was my family. My mom was there. And then it didn't work or something like that? No, it did better. It did way better. A standing O, I think. I think it was a standing O. I'm pretty sure. Oh, we got to talk.

Bro, dude, we got to talk. Okay, so we're in the Netherlands, right? And the Netherlands is like, we're doing a show in Amsterdam. Beautiful city, unbelievable city. But the Netherlands, these are like the most literal people you'll ever meet in your life. Like, they're, this is fun, this is fun. And like a very literal people, right? And they actually have like a history of American comedy being there. There's this show called Raymond Is Lot, like Late Night with Raymond or whatever. He would bring American comics. So they're aware of like American comedy and they've been fans for like decades. So-

Good place to go perform, but understand, very literal. Like, I was even joking around with the guys, but this is 100% serious thing. Like, I was in the hotel. This is how literal. I'm in the hotel, and I walk by a guy, and I was like, hey, what's up, man? How you doing? Just like that's what we would say to somebody as you walk by them. And he goes, I'm a little sad today. Oh, I love that.

Things will go better. Literally told me how he's doing. I know this because I performed in Amsterdam. We did the special. I'm aware of what I'm going to get. Mark, before he goes on, he goes, yo, I have an idea for a joke. Can I throw it by you? I've never been to Amsterdam. I had this Anne Frank joke that I normally do. Then I had

Another thing is Anne Frank was from Amsterdam. Her home is still there. So I was trying to do this idea that I thought would be funny. And after you do the set so many times, you're like, yeah, I just want to do something new, something local, something fun. So I was like, okay. It's interesting to me that two of the most famous people from Amsterdam is Vincent van Gogh and Anne Frank. You know what I mean? Vincent van Gogh famously cut off his ear. And it's just funny to me that two of the most famous people, one of them can't hear anything and the other one can't speak.

Van Gogh and Frank. I was like, this would be kind of a funny idea we could play with. You know what I mean? Yeah. Now, so I go, let me tell you something. Van Gogh can hear. He just doesn't have an ear.

Anne Frank can speak. She just shouldn't. And that's how they're going to interpret this. They're not going to be able to remove it a little bit. You know what I mean? Oh, I see what you're doing. They're literally going to be like, that is incorrect. Anne Frank could speak all the time. She spoke a lot. Maybe we could riff on it. I was like, all right, that's good input from Andrew. Hater. Let's go ask some Dutch people and see what they think. So I asked two Dutch guys and they're like, yeah.

They laughed at it. Yeah, that makes sense. Like, you could probably do something with that. So I went up and did that shit. They took it very literally. Bro, so literally. Yeah, they were like, huh? And then afterwards, the guy goes, hey, the joke worked. And we're like, no, it didn't. And then we're like, what did you think he meant? I go, what do you think he meant when he goes, Anne Frank can't speak? He goes, oh, well, because she's dead. Ha ha ha ha.

I was like, dude. When you're dead, you can't speak. That's literal. That is literal. God damn it, dude. It was fun. Yeah, Amsterdam was cool. Amsterdam was cool. And we just went for a walk, dude. We just kind of just walked around. Oh, yeah. Hit that red light district. What'd you do? Did you do anything? No. Substances? No, substances while you're out there. No, I don't think so. Just drink, whatever like that. You can't really. No, no, no. That's actually good. What did Dove and Volley do? Nothing. Nothing.

Oh, yeah, nothing. Nothing? You can't. Really? Yeah. Oh, all right. You can't smoke while you're walking around. Oh, no, no, no. That was too fast. Yeah, I know. It was too quick. Oh, I thought you meant like actual, like real drugs, not like weed.

I'm just saying red. Yeah, come on. We know what we're talking about. Dove was negotiating. He's trying to get a rate just to see what the deal was. He just wanted to know the deal points. We were window shopping as a group. I mean, it is so much fun. I get why women do it. Like if they're, if they look at clothing the way we look at pussy, it makes total sense to just go out to stores. Just to see what they have.

Because that's what we did, and I could have done that for six hours straight. Walk by the Hordestrooms. You know what I mean? Just see what they have. You know what I mean? The Hordestrooms. Yeah. I mean, it was so much fun, dude. Every different design of woman you could imagine. And all, not all, but like...

Bad. Yeah. Not like. That's what Blau was saying. I was telling us that. Bad. Yeah. We're not talking about just like American street horse. Yeah. Which they look like that's what they have to do. Right. They human track the crop of the crim. The crim of the crop. Whatever that part is. I got it. I got it. It's almost. It's regulated. They're getting money from it. God damn, dude. What was it? The crop of the crim was crazy. What is it? The crim of the crop. Yeah. There we go. The cum of the crop. Yeah. That's what it technically is. So if you're like. What does that even mean?

I don't know. The cream of the crop? Yeah. You know how crops are creamy? You're right. It doesn't mean anything. You're right. No, no, you were actually right about that. It's a stupid saying. I mean, you got it wrong, but you're right. It makes no sense. He's so literal. I'm literal. I should know that. Crops on the cream? Yeah. No cream on these crops. Interesting, interesting place because like...

They don't have like religion, right? Like religion plays like no part in their daily life or like the decisions that they make at all. So it doesn't play any part in how they create laws, right? Like, you know, in America or in other countries, like if you're religious, the laws kind of need to reflect the laws of God. Mm-hmm.

So without that, you can create laws that just protect the people, even if they're kind of immoral. Yeah. Okay. Which I love. Which is interesting because you can make laws that are the lesser of two evils. Yes.

In America, you can't really do that because there'll be certain religious groups that go, well, this is wrong and this is wrong. Even if this is less wrong, they're both wrong, so they have to be illegal. Don't compromise with you. Exactly. Can you give an example? Horse. So-

Human sex trafficking is more evil than legalized prostitution. Yeah. They feel like people are gonna pay for pussy no matter what. Right. If we legalize it, maybe there'll be less human sex trafficking. These women can make money. They don't have to deal with these violent pimps. They will be protected. And also the people that have sex with them will be safer because now we're gonna make sure they get tested every week, etc. So they go, this is the lesser of two evils. Yeah. We'll make this legal even though it's wrong.

And then our society will be safer. And I love that cuz you don't fight against human nature. Human nature, guys are gonna go out and solicit sex workers, girls too, I guess. So what is the safest way that you can curate your culture? Yeah. Drugs, they will test your drugs to make sure that you don't OD. Because humans will never stop doing drugs. We're gonna do drugs. So what is the lesser of two evils? That you at least are safer when you do the drugs so you don't OD and then put this crazy weight on our medical system that we're all paying for anyway.

So when you're in that environment, and this is a weird thing because I've never felt this in America, you kind of start, and I'm not trying to do this thing like, Europeans do it better, fuck them. But here's the thing, you start to feel like everything there is a little bit safer for you and that the government is looking out for you. Like, for example, if I was going to get food somewhere,

I would assume that the food is good for me. It doesn't mean that candy is good for you, but I would assume there's not gonna be something crazy in the food that's gonna give me cancer. Where in America, everything that I eat, I go, probably gonna give me cancer, but it is what it is. But over there-

I would assume the government would go, you know what? This is going to be bad for the people if we legalize these. We were literally talking about this before the podcast. Food in Europe is much more regulated than America. They won't have like, my wife bought Sour Patch Kids out there. There's some colors that just don't exist in England where she bought it. It was like licorice flavor. The flavor has to be somewhat natural. Mm-hmm.

We can't just make Red 40 and pump it in everything or whatever. Skittles could cause cancer that are banned in California. They're not banned in the other 49 states. We don't give a fuck. Right. You go to Europe, they're going to have a version of Skittles that won't cause cancer. Yeah. Which they do. Yeah. Again, I think that's... Not everything they do is better, but that's a big thing they do better. Yeah. It was kind of... And it was cool feeling to have while I was there. And I understand why they're a little bit more obedient when it comes to rules. Because...

They assume that the rules benefit them. Yeah. You know, like Vala said when the announcements were happening before the show, they're like, guys, there'll be no filming. Put your phones down. You'll be asked to kick out. He said he saw 100 people take their phones and put in their pockets. He's like, I've never seen that happen before. Everybody hears it. And then the intro, they want to get a video of it. And then they keep their phone out. And I think that

Yeah, I would be. It's like being obedient almost with your parents. It's like if you trust your parents have your best interests at heart, okay, you're going to listen to them a little bit more. And I think they had that relation. I was like, that's kind of cool. Yeah, we were hanging out with these Dutch guys and they said that when they came to America, they spent some time driving around the Midwest and stuff. The thing that they just saw everywhere that I thought was so funny is this phrase, it's the law.

They would say it to them over and over, like, it's the law. Buckle up. It's the law. Don't text and drive. It's the law. And they're like, there's this reinforcement of the law, but yet Americans love to break the rules. Whereas in Amsterdam or in the Netherlands, everything's kind of legal. And when there are rules, everyone follows them. Because you can do pretty much anything. So when we say don't do it.

Don't fucking do it. Yeah. It must be bad. Yeah, they're looking out for me. Whereas here, we love breaking rules. I always thought, and this is probably part of it, but I always thought America, it just glorified rebellion because that's how our country was founded. Yeah. So rebellion is like, and it should, in that case, it should be, but like, it's a beautiful thing to rebel against. So we're, it's all kind of just baked into it. Also, everybody here rebelled. Yeah. Like every immigrant class that came, it's rebellion against something. They're like leaving their whole family. It's like in our DNA to rebel. Mm-hmm.

To fight back, to push back, to antagonize. It's just who we are. The family members that didn't come here are the ones that got along with the system. The system says I should do this. I'm going to do this. So yeah, just culturally seeing that was cool. And then going, one place that was really interesting was Ireland, Dublin. Yeah.

First show we did, amazing venue. I mean, unbelievable. I've never been in a venue that big that had that incredible acoustics. Like usually you get into these venues where you got fucking 7,000 people, there's a little echo. Yeah. This was almost none. Really? And I don't know how the fuck they did it, but it was amazing. But the entire time we're in Dublin, we're asking people, what should we see? What should we see? Not a single person gave a suggestion of anything to see. Ha ha ha ha.

The entire time. Not a single one. They all just go. You go see the spider. Yeah, there's like this chopstick that's in the middle of town and people go. And then there's like a Trinity College or something. Some college that looks like any other fucking community. The oldest book. Go see the oldest book. It's over in the library. Literally. They have no clue what to do, but they all say go out to the pubs. And we're like, what are we going to do? We're going to have some fucking Guinness. Go out to the pubs.

Go out to the pubs. Fire? We went to some pub. I forget the name of it. There's two guys playing guitar and people are in the pub. And the Irish, they need the drink to open up, to bloom a little bit. But once they have it in, like during the day, they're kind of reserved. They're a little bit kind of quiet. They're removed. When the drink gets in them,

It's the lower deck of the Titanic. I mean, they are singing, dancing. I love you, affectionate. Like, it is a beautiful thing. And once you experience that, and that's just one pub. There's 100 pubs in the city. They're all doing that. We're singing every fucking song together, arm in arm, having this amazing time. And once you realize that, like, that's what exists there, you don't need other dumb shit. Yeah.

recover during the day, do whatever you need because once you guys hit the bar and that music starts and they're like a musical fucking people, they're like going after it. And I would say I was like,

Maybe that was our most fun night. Really? Yeah. That's why they do the Irish goodbye because the love is wearing off. I gotta get out of here. I gotta get out before I'm mean again. Or they just forget you said bye to them. They're like, don't fucking leave and say bye. Without saying bye, no, you said bye. You're too drunk. We got in a fight and then I kissed you and I left. What do you mean? Bro, that, yeah, was that or London. We went to the box and...

That was crazy. I almost wish Derek was here to tell this story. But like, you know, the box, have you heard of this venue? So the box that we have one in New York, I think the original one is in London. It's basically this like cabaret, like avant-garde, provocative type of performance, right? The idea is to be as provocative as possible with performance arts. It starts at two in the morning.

Yeah. It's like, yeah, it would be like a kind of one of these, like very difficult to get into. Can't have your phone out like vibes. And so we go to an after party for the show and then we go to the box afterwards and we walk in and there's a guy on stage dressed as a homeless dude. And, uh,

he's shitting into a silver pan. Oh, he's naked, by the way. Oh, yeah, naked, shitting into a silver pan. So there's shit coming out of his asshole. He's bending over, they're shitting into the pan. Then he grabs, say again? Big meat? Meat was regs. Long balls? No, long balls. Oh, yeah, he had fake tits, too. But real attached. Yeah, yeah, they're like breast implants. Oh, shit. Dick, dick.

and shitting into this pan. Then he grabs the shit and starts to rub it all over his dick and genitals. And I think he even throws some of it at the crowd. No, that's a fight right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we'll... So anyway, we're watching this, right? And we're watching Derek. And Derek is looking at this and he's like, what the fuck is going on? Where did you guys bring me? No, no, you would think. But he's like shocked and going, is everything okay? And none of us realize it. But earlier...

A trans woman, a gigantic fucking linebacker trans woman walks up to him and just grabs his dick. And Derek is like, what the fuck did you just? No, he is not. Yeah, yeah. He's like, yo, you're acting like a man right now. Only a man would do that. I thought he'd be in heaven with that. No, no. Dicks and tits. But keep in mind, I thought she knew him.

I thought she knew him. You know what I mean? I was like, yo, this is his moment. I thought she was giving him a moment. But none of us knew that that happened. We just saw him really disheveled in this environment. And I'm assuming it's because he's watching the guy shit in the pan for the first time and running around his genitals with fake tits, which is a pretty reasonable reaction. So all of us are dying laughing. Derek thinks we're dying laughing that the gigantic trans linebacker grabbed his dick and he didn't do nothing.

So he was like, they don't think I'm pussy. And he's like, I don't want to beat the shit out of this girl and ruin the after party for everybody. But right now, I'm fucking freaking out right now. A trans grabbed my dick like it's okay. And to recover, there's another trans rubbing shit all over his dick on the stage. And everybody's laughing at me. All my homies are laughing at me. I

I lean in to him and I go, bro, it's okay. You got to understand they're trying to provoke. They're trying to act weird. And he thinks I'm talking about grabbing the dick. But I'm talking about the man shitting in the pants. And I'm like, they're trying to act weird. He goes, yeah, I don't fuck with this because he thinks I'm talking about the dick grab. And I'm like, you got to understand it's like doing edgy jokes at a comedy club. You can't be the white girl offended. And he's like,

Let a man bitch grab my dick. He's not saying it. So we just laughing and I'm like, bro, you don't kid me a Karen. He goes, so I just gotta let a man bitch grab my fucking dick.

Bro, everybody. It's like a sitcom. Bro, it literally was. Derek was fuming, but he didn't want to ruin the night for everybody because he knew if he did what he would normally do, the night is over. Like we're kicked out. Right. Immediately. See you later. And it wasn't until we got outside after the fucking thing that he explained the whole situation. We were laughing at him for an hour.

Every time we turned over, he's like, he can't believe he's just sitting there staring at the ground. But that's not that serious, though. Bro, getting your dick wrapped? Yeah. Mike, you've been to TSA before. Sometimes they see where you're at with it. Yeah, I guess. This person that was there was being way too much. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, extra, like, grab people's faces and shit, and you'd be like, all right, all right.

Jamil ran away. He saw it coming. Jamil ran away. He's been to the box before. He knew. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second. It's time to level up, okay?

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Now let's get back to the show. All right, guys, we're going to take a break real quick because you need to know about SeatGeek. With over 28 million downloads and 70,000 events every single day, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app, and that is for a reason. Football's back. If you're looking for good deals on tickets to that, maybe an Augustin comedy show, Andrew Schultz comedy show, SeatGeek has got you. And what's important is...

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of tickets at seatgig.com. That's $20 off your first purchase with the promo code flagrant. Now let's get back to the show. The fight culture in Europe is nice also. That's something I didn't really ever see. But like in America, I feel like fighting has such a high, so much like high stakes.

Like someone might have a weapon. Like there feels like there's a desire to like really hurt someone. Feels like there's death connected to it every time. Whereas in Europe, it's way more likely you could find a fight. But when they fight, they're like, hey, let's just punch each other and then let's go eat after. Yeah. It used to be like that. Really? Yeah. And then we got too many guns. So it's just like nobody wants to be embarrassed. We got guns and camera phones. Yeah. The social media. Like we go eat after. The embarrassment lives forever now.

Yeah. Bro, we go eat after. There are these two guys that came to the show earlier that's like in this place. It's like this deli at like four in the morning. We're all eating. We're all like tired, kind of drunk, just like eating food. And then this dude walks in. I think he's Scottish or something. No, no. He's from England. He is? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so he walks in and he's just like talking shit. He walks in. We're all like joking with him, like making fun of him because like it's raining. Everyone's soaked.

And then he starts talking to one of the guys at the booth. And the guy at the booth, they start like jawing at each other. And then the guy at the booth stands up and he's like, yeah, punch me. And he's like, yeah, I will punch you, motherfucker. And like, they just start yelling at each other. And then Schultz is like, just sit down. And then both of them are like, that's a better idea. And then they both sit down and then they all just eat together.

We also love-bombed the guy. The guy needed a little bit of love. He had a chip on his shoulder, and then we just started love-bombing him. We were like, Patrick, Patrick. It's going crazy. We love Patrick. And he was like, oh, all right, let's get some breakfast. Grabbed his dick. But from one minute to be like, yo, we're going to fight in this deli. If someone threw a punch, it was on, to then just eating beans together.

Two seconds. Yeah. That is kind of nice. Yeah. Yeah. I think we get this like different version of like British people where like we get the Hugh Grant version. So we expect they're all like these like mumbling pussies. Do you know what I mean? Like nobody is afraid of Hugh Grant. Right. Hugh Grant is a bitch for all intents and purposes. Right. Like that's what his character has always been. And like talk a shot after he leaves. Yeah.

Who, who, who? Hugh Grant. No, Hugh Grant knows. Like, that's the way he's been playing it. Your perception of the British is they are like him, but they're not. Yeah. I remember the first time I saw a Guy Ritchie movie, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. I was like, this is England? That's more of England than Hugh Grant. Okay, okay. Hugh Grant is kind of like the royal...

idea like let's be elegant and simple and have our feelings and you know be Unaware and unsure of ourselves. Yeah, and the majority of England is like I

So you want to fight about this or what? You know what I mean? Like, I don't like your soccer team. You don't like them. I thought you want to just fight. Maybe we'll stab each other a little bit. And then if we live, then we'll do it again next week. When you leave London, you're like, oh, I see how you guys voted for Brexit. OK, I understand what's going on here. I get it. Yeah. I'm surprised they don't vote to further Brexit. Yeah. Like each one of the little areas wants to wants to break. Like, yeah, it's it's it's amazing. It's kept together. I actually shout out the crown.

Shout out to the Royal Family. Holding all these guys together is quite impressive. Yeah. Like, that's a good feat. Because they're not all on board. No. They can't hold their family together. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of dissent. Put it that way. Yeah. It was fun, though.

It was fun. You farted in the lounge and it created a scene. Do you remember that? Yeah, the Indians got all excited, dude. Right as we were leaving, you know how he just farts often? Most of the time he farts and no one says anything. But then right as we were leaving, we were in Abu Dhabi, we were sitting in this tiny lounge, and he just goes, uh-oh. And we all just look at him and it's just...

Just the loudest fart. All of us walk away. And then literally some dude from across the thing goes, hey, that's pretty gross. You got a picking and flicking situation, dude. I did, I did. But I didn't care. I leaned the fuck into that. But then it became like a convo. You guys were like talking about it. You're like, yeah, dude, my stomach hurts. I know, bro. Yeah.

It is what it is. It created a moment. I've never seen that before. My stomach wasn't ready, bro. It wasn't fucking ready. What did that guy say? Do you remember? I don't know. I thought he liked it, though. The Indian dude, the old Indian. Bro, nobody milks wheelchairs on a plane like fucking Indians, bro. And it's goddamn annoying. It takes twice as long to get on a fucking airplane if there's Indians there because every Indian over 45...

pretends they're 300 years old and they get in a stupid fucking wheelchair and then like when they have to get out they exaggerate how slow they have to oh like I've never walked before they're 80 dude they just look young because they don't age like white people no no they look like shit they look bad they're old no they look bad but like they're 100 years old all of them I bet

So they are old. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I was saying. Yeah, you said every Indian that's 45 gets in a wheelchair. I'm telling you they're old. Oh, God, they are 100. Yeah. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. No, but they're doing the old Disney World trick. Yeah, that's what they're... They're milking it, dude. They're fucking milking it. But you don't see that even here in the States. The best was that they were doing it and Andrew was just seeing like six of them

go and unload. But the best part is they unloaded and so the people that are walking in wheelchairs are now coming off the sky bridge except that one person behind Andrew, like an old Indian lady, gets into the wheelchair and turns around to cut Andrew. What a hero, dude. Awesome. Shout out to Auntie. Unbelievable, bro. Unbelievable.

But they're doing it here in the States, too. Yeah, yeah. You'll have a fucking row. There was just more of them over there. There were a lot. They were coming back, yeah. That shit is getting excessive. Right? Come on, bro. If you need the wheelchair, I don't know. I don't know if you could travel. You used a wheelchair when you sprained your ankle. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was trying to get a fake sympathy. You had a legit injury.

He wasn't being a lying fucking Indian. Like, load them in from cargo, you know? God. Honestly, no. No, that is, honestly, it might be a good idea. It might be a good idea. No, no. We could be on top of the plane, but not on the seat. Subjugation, dude. That's fucked up. And then the fucking, we might have to cut this, but the smell. All right, all right.

Like something you've never experienced. I have. You have? Fuck me, bro. Like it was one of those things where I was like, this is, it's not a stereotype. I was like.

I went to... They've designed something where we were in the plane to create a cocoon with air because it didn't get into my seat. No, the mask dropped down. Do you remember? Did they? Yeah. Oh, my God. It was such a good... Just curry flavor air coming out of it. What airline was this? Oh, my God. Etihad, but the jet bridge smell. The jet bridge. When you're just locked in this little thing. Yeah. And they are... I don't even know why they're sweating. They're sitting down. They're getting rolled. But they are fucking emanating stink. Yeah.

It's a distinct B.O. because I feel like there's an African B.O. and there's an Indian B.O. and you know which one is which. Oh, wow. Relaxed. Oh, my God. That is true. It's not African American. That is true. You never got into an African's cabin and like, whew. Yeah. Yeah. So I went to an Indian comedian friend of mine, India Indian. It's like comedy show. Entire rows. I would just be like, God damn. But what is the deal? They don't wear deodorant. Why not? Why not? Why not?

They're the first hipsters, right? No, but I think it's because we've been limited in our abilities because bullying people is how you kind of get them to assimilate, right? Like you bully them a little bit and then they kind of get on board because they understand like what they're doing is different from whatever the dominant culture is. You've been trying to bully a haircut for the longest. It ain't working, bro. Dominant culture.

This is the dominant culture. They tried to make them wear deodorant. They invented the brand. What is it? Old Spice. They were like, dude, these people love spices. Let's make a company. Still didn't work, man. The oldest spice is the first one. I mean, unbelievable, dude. I just could not. We need to do something about it.

I think it'll change over time. I think the actual issue is infrastructure. There's not like supermarkets with deodorant on every whatever. So as infrastructure improves, more and more people are just going to start using deodorant. Can we sponsor someone? But we were in the United Arab Emirates. Yeah, so just culturally it becomes not. You just don't wear it. Okay. And I remember Richard Pryor had a joke where they think...

And he went to Africa and he was like, they think we smell weird with all the deodorant shit. So he's like, but that's a joke. Yeah. He said, but he said, it's not true. That is a lie. That is a lie. He emotionally truth that whole thing. That's an emotional truth. I think there's a seed of truth. I think it's the honor of.

70% is the smell. This happened to me. I smelled this thing. No, because I don't think Africans smell or Indians smell like a rose and they're like, ugh. I think they go, oh, that's a beautiful smell. That's awesome.

Oh, you're saying the deodorant. Okay. All these things are based on fragrances, right? The nose knows what smells well. You think they smell like a flower and they go, oh, disgusting. I don't think they do. Maybe it smells fake to them. Maybe it still smells fake to them. I think to them it's like when people who put on too much cologne or perfume. So then they're like, yo, you're smelling too strong. It's a good smell. It's overpowering. Anything. Anything.

It was a real problem. It was a real problem. It was a real problem. I was stuck behind one of these guys. And it was like a wall. I was walking through a wall. And keep in mind, on the side, they got the wheelchairs going, so I'm just further stuck behind him. And just, boom, smack it. I feel like Dylan Danis, bro. Just getting smacked around by Indian fucking body odor. Yeah.

It might have been Pakistani. Could have been. It could have been actually, yeah. We had a brother-in-law who stayed with us and we kept telling him, we're like, dude, you smell. And what would he do? He was like, no, I don't. I don't. I'm telling you, I don't. Then he went to, he told us he went to his cousin's house in LA and he was on a business call and the cousin's dad, his uncle,

smelled him, went and got a brand new stick of deodorant, handed to him. While he's on the call, he's like, in Punjabi, he's like, no, now, put it on now. And then lectured him about how you're giving us a bad name. There's a stereotype about Indians that we come here and we smell, and people like you make it harder for me to do business. It was so funny. This uncle being like, now.

You should have did that shit. I was too nice about it. Black people will over-tip sometimes because they're trying to make up for the fact that you have that stereotype. They don't do that yet. But you were being rude. You were being too forced. Oh, I bullied him to tip him more. Yeah. Let's go. No, not tipping. No, I know what we're talking about, but it just came up. But when we were getting on the plane and you Febreze that lady, that was too far.

I didn't Febreze her. You did. You had a little Febreze. Also, you fart all the time. You smell like shit all the time. I do fart a lot. That is true. So you smell a lot, not as consistently, not as constantly. But he's battling fire with fire. Like, he only does it when he's around. It's the only thing I can do. You're battling spice with fire? Yeah, exactly. Spice with gas? No, for real. That was the only weapon I had in that moment. But when she turned away and you sprayed her, that was too far. I didn't spray her. Well, you...

It wasn't a spray. I had gotten some of the... What's it called? What are they called? Aerosol. Not aerosol. It's a... Fire extinguisher. Yes. I got a fire extinguisher. I had taken one fire extinguisher and I hosed her down. I had to. I had to hose her and him down. I mean, it was... I'll never forget that moment when I was stuck in a jet bridge and...

My nose was on fire for 15 minutes minimum. You're going to go to, you know, it's crazy. You're going to go to India and the other smells are going to be so overpowering. You're not even going to notice. Can I tell you something? I'm opting into that. If, when I go to India and everybody there smells of body odor, I deserve that because I'm, I'm going to their culture and I'm adopting their culture. Right. I, I,

If I complain about it one bit, I'm a bitch, right? Because I'm opting in. You know what I'm saying? Like you can't go to the beach resort and complain there's sand. You asked to be here. We're in the United Arab Emirates. Okay. We're flying Etihad. It smells like a fucking pet store.

God damn, son. God damn. It smelled like a hamster cage, dude. It was one of the craziest things I've ever seen in my life. You had a shower on the flight and you offered to give someone a shower. I tried to, because there was a shower. And that was rude. Yeah. I saw the guy reject the shower and I said, I can't argue with the smell. I won't argue with the smell. It's a smell that's there.

I'd be telling people, you got to come here. There's not as much pollution in America to overpower the BO. But maybe that's alpha. I don't know. It's kind of alpha for me. No, I really think it also, India, there's just a lot of pollution. It hits you in the face when you're coming from America. And I think you don't smell these things. Dude, my dad, cigarettes in America when he would smoke, I would cough. I couldn't handle it. In India, he'd be smoking this close to me and I wouldn't even notice because it's so many other smells. That's a fucking fantastic point.

Like if you live next to like a bakery, you smell the fresh croissants every morning. Yeah. Right? Punchline? No, there's no. I'm just saying you smell it, so it's covered. Yeah. No, it's just the pollution really is like, especially in like New Delhi, it's just crazy. You notice it, the smog. So that's what you're smelling. You're not noticing the person to person. So they come here, they just think that there's pollution. They're like, oh. They just think, yeah, this has never been an issue before, so why would it be an issue now? Yeah. This is clean here. But then they start to smell it.

They don't smell themselves. - That's crazy. - I think you get threatened by alpha pheromones.

That's probably it. Like, you ever go to like a... That's valid. That's valid. No, that's true. Like, if you go to like a... Alpha situation right now. No, you're probably right. Like, if you're around like gorillas... You're probably right. Like, gorillas have like a pheromone that smells like BO, and you're like, oh, these are like fucking boss-ass gorillas. Yeah. And that's alpha pheromones. I was bodied by them. I was bodied by them. Yeah, I think you smell alpha pheromones, and I don't know if you can handle it. No, I think what happened is one of those old women in the wheelchair crossed her legs, and I fainted.

- Sorry. - That's what I think happened. That's what I think happened. I saw her go like this. I saw her go like this, like this, like this, and my knees got weak like I just hit the meduah for 20 minutes straight. - Dude, we got my-- - I think we might need to run back to meduah really quick. - It was-- - Yo, that's hilarious. - It was, yeah, it was truly one of the most excruciatingly painful moments of my entire life. - We're gonna take a break real quick because your balls are out of control.

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the show. All right, guys, we are going to take a break real quick because you are losing your hair, but you don't have to. Thanks to our sponsor, Keeps.

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Now let's get back to the show. There was an awesome Instagram moment while we were gone that was giving us extreme FOMO. We watched Akash at his first concert.

And he's on stage at his first concert with Fateh. Shout out to Fateh. Fantastic concert. Shout out to Fateh, who's on tour right now. Go check out Fateh. And Akash was vibing. He was getting into it. What were you doing exactly? Because what was posted and that you reposted happily was you texting next to him on stage while he was performing. Your boy. It's my brother. I love this guy. He's fantastic. Check him out.

Before I go... Have you ever checked him out or do you just look at your fucking phone the entire time? No, he was checking him out, actually. Oh, you're watching him? Okay, you're watching him. He's on YouTube. Gotcha, gotcha. Before that, I was rapping one of his songs that he hasn't released. I knew more words than him. But this is the funniest moment from the thing. Right, right, right, right, right. I don't know I'm going to get called on stage.

So I'm texting my wife. I'm like, yo, I'm starving. I'm on this diet. I can't eat jack shit. I can't eat certain things at Chipotle. They're going to close. Can you just order something for me? Okay. And then she sees the message and then she's like, text me your order. They don't have X, Y, and Z. So while I'm on stage, she's like, they close in two minutes. You need to text me. I have to start texting her my Chipotle order as I'm on stage vibing with everybody because I have two minutes. So they're all getting fucking hype raising their hand.

I can't have sour cream. I can't have cheese. I can only have this. Double chicken. It was so fucking funny. Someone caught that moment on camera. I was like, this is the best. Your wife caught it. Yeah. No, somebody filmed me taking the thing. And then he sent it to both of us. And then she posted it and I reposted it. I got you. I got you. Yeah. But the concert was fire. It was so fun. It is working, by the way. You're looking very trim. Yeah, you're looking good, my boy. How much did you lose so far?

I come down like 21 pounds or something. There's something hilarious about you losing weight and then just also losing the will to live. There's something so poetic about seeing you. The best you've ever looked is so miserable. It's called state-of-the-art soda, I guess, but it's like super strict. So you can't eat anything really. Like even certain vegetables you're not supposed to eat. So I'm fucking miserable all the time, but I do feel like I look great.

There you go. You look great. Thank you. Yeah, you look great. Appreciate that. Shouts. I went to Kid Super's birthday party. Oh, that was good. That shit was fire. It was cool? Yeah, it was. He has a very young crowd. Yeah. And they like to fucking party. Yeah. So, like, when I'm walking in, I'm walking to my shorty, and all of a sudden a fucking mosh pit starts up. Yo, I've never seen her look more terrified ever. She's getting bumped around. I'm like this, like a fucking security guard, just trying to get her out. And we're like, dude.

But thanks. He showed love. We went backstage. Fucking Bobby Shmurda. He performed. He was high as fuck. But that was a great performance. Fucking the rich homie Quan, he came. And I'll tell this one. So Kid Super gets on stage before Rich Homie starts to perform. He's like, yo, guys.

Rich Homie Kwong, he's a fucking legend. Like, this guy's a genius, a musical genius. I'm like, I think he's only had, like, two hits or whatever. But one of them still slaps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's just, like, the way he spoke about him, you thought he was, like, bringing Jay-Z on stage or whatever. I'm like, that is love right there. Like, that's what's up. Rich Homie Kwong got banged.

No, he does. He has bangers. But I mean, the way he was speaking about him, you thought like, Jay Z was coming to perform. Nah, but both of those shits was fire. Like, he knows how to throw a party. Yeah.

Yeah. Who? Yeah, he knows how to throw a fucking party. Yeah, it looked fun. Yeah, it was fun. Over the break, well, not even a break, while you guys were away, it's funny, I think I figured out where strippers do during the day. Okay. Because it's like, you know, they work at night, but they work for a few hours and then it's like, I never thought about that.

So I went to get my teeth, you know, it's placed on WeSmile in Astoria, right up the block from Riviera's, a popular strip club there. It's called WeSmile? Yeah, it's called WeSmile, yeah. And so all the dental hygienists are strippers. Fucking great. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Couldn't even concentrate. They didn't even have to ask me to smile. I was just like this the whole time. It's called We Smile for a reason. The baddest dental hygiene. What do they wear? Just regular dental hygienic clothes? You know they got the tightest scrubs and shit like that. Sorry, babe. This is an old trick from dentists. Your dentist will never tell you the price of the procedure. Oh, they got me.

Who told you? Because I just went in for a whiting and it's like, oh, I'll do cleaning. I'll do the extra. I'll do everything. But why did you paint singles though? It's kind of weird. I've never done that at dentist my whole life. I was like, you want an extra tip on that copay right there? Yeah.

But your teeth look white, bro. How many times have you gone? Oh, I'll run back. But isn't that crazy? Like you just have the, my boy's dentist is like, yeah, you got to have like the fine girl go tell the dude how much it costs. Oh, that's a thing? Yeah, because you won't say no to the girl.

If a guy comes in and he's like, yeah, it's going to cost five grand for your molars. Fuck you. Your dude's like, I don't need molars. But if a girl comes in this huge fucking ass and these tight ass scrubs and they're like, hey, listen, it's $5,000 for that and you probably need a whitening or whatever. You really going to tell her no? They got me. Yeah. Yeah. Always Latinas. I hate strip clubs. Yeah.

Goddamn, I always walk out a lot poorer than I was. Making eye contact the whole time. She's like, spit here, papi. I was like, oh, she's feeling it. Why'd she ask me to say that? What else we got going on, Martin? We got some feelings on facts? Yeah, we just got a bunch of random things, all right? John Stewart's show got canceled, the problem with John Stewart. Apple canceled it, apparently because of some of the content related to AI in China. Hmm.

So what I heard is... John Stewart is a fucking goat, by the way. He's an absolute goat. What I heard is he was okay with them asking him not to criticize China because he's like, all right, I get it, fine. A lot of your products are made over there. It's a spiteful government. Whatever. I get it. I'll pull back on that. Then when they asked about the AI criticism, he was like, you know what? Fuck you. I don't need this. You're not going to sit here and police my material. That's just not happening. It's just so fire, dude. Yeah, I love that. And I get him...

I get him not doing the China piece because he's agreeing to do a show on Apple. Yeah. So it's like if you're, you know that you're in bed with Apple who's in bed with China. So are you really going to be critical of them? You're supporting the brand. You're building the brand. Yeah. Right? So I get him going, all right, then I could potentially be hypocritical. Which is also so cool of him to have that self-awareness and be like, I'm going to give you that one. I'm going to give you that one. Done. Who am I? Yeah. But then, you know.

Jon Stewart's in the I don't need your money land. He's got fucking money. Exactly. But there's a lot of people in that land that still take the money. And I don't judge them because I could end up being one of them if I had that kind of money. Yes, yes. But Jon Stewart should truly be like, now this is my ethic and I'm not going to fuck with that. I'm out. Now, question. Details of the AI story? No. No.

I don't know. Was it something he did do or something that he wanted to do? I think he wanted to do it. Yeah. Now, here's the question. I'm sure, like, Jon Stewart is, like, the most caring dude. Like, he's dedicated his post-Daily Show career to, like, getting health care to the firefighters that were, you know, affected by not allowing... Like, this guy clearly cares about people. The burn pits thing he talked about on his show. He's the man. Now, I...

Now, I wonder how difficult it was for him to stop the show, knowing that there are probably all these people working for the show that depend on it. Like, I wonder if he's like, I can't be censored and just become like a propaganda arm for Apple. But at the same time,

There are all these people I fucking really love and believe in that rely on this. That's a good point, but I think it's going to be a crazy bidding war for that show. Oh, so you're saying the show won't stop. It will just go somewhere else. It's like, hey, we'll let you say whatever you want. Netflix, now's your time, bro. Netflix, now is your time. I mean, look at like John Oliver. Yeah, kills. He's with HBO. Yeah. And they gave him so much more money. It's on YouTube, but you can watch all of it for free. Yep. Like.

I mean, if I'm Netflix, I go, okay, let's compete with HBO. Let's go. Put it on YouTube. Get the money. Also, another cool story about John. One of our friends wrote for him on another project that John decided not to move forward with. It was supposed to be like an animation thing and the technology wasn't there. He thought about his employees and then he just paid them out for an extra like

It was like way more than what the standard is. Like, here, you guys, this will give you time to figure out what you want to do. He just paid them. So, like, he's the fucking goat. What I was wondering, you know who still needs a host for their show? The Daily Show. Does he come back? Oh, that would be fun. I mean... Imagine? Even if he guest hosted for a month, it'd be the craziest...

The Daily Show needs him really, really bad. That would be awesome. Yeah. That would be so fucking cool. And then immediately reestablishes it as the brand that it used to be. Yes. That would be so fucking cool. Daily Show, get on it. Or if he runs for president. Oh, Jesus. That's my vote. A thousand percent. I don't think he wants to do politics because he can't.

I thought he probably feels like he can't be the honest, good person that he is. I feel like, you know, that's part that speak to his character, but he, he goes to Washington and he speaks like he, he's trying to be changed. So it's like, that's what I'm saying. That'd be interesting. Yeah. Okay. What else we got? Michael Irvin called that his rapper son. I love it. Michael Irvin's the man. He sees that we need him back, dude. Yeah. Michael Irvin. Are we allowed to play? You think we'll get clipped for it? Is it ESPN? Then yes.

Basically, just describe it. He goes, my son is rapping all this nonsense. You grew up in a gated community. He says his name. He goes, my son is a rapper, Tut Tarantino. So you out the guy immediately. You can't even hide behind it. He's like, he's rapping about all these things, lies. He just said, you grew up in a gated community. You're rapping about my life. So fucking arse and fire.

Amazing. Michael Irvin's a legend. Shitty father, though. My thing is like, come on, Mike. Let him eat. Nobody can eat but you. Also, like, talk to him. You got his number? Give him a call. You don't got to do it on national television, bro. But then I saw a clip of a couple of his son's music videos.

All in the big mansion? I'm just trying to eat breakfast. I got to maneuver the fucking camera. Is he crazy? That's funny. That was fucked up, bro. That's funny. What's this Britney story? Yeah, all this Britney Spears drama is all of a sudden dropping right now. She got a book coming out. So these are excerpts from the book. And apparently, they're not making Justin look great. So she's basically, apparently, she said...

I don't know if I saw this on Twitter. I know she said he had a small penis, but I think the first the excerpt of the tweet I saw was the first time they had sex. She said, you can put it in now. And he was like, it already is in.

Is that real? I don't know if that's real. Is that possible? It's really funny. It's really funny. This bitch is crazy, bro. Nah, free Britney. Yeah. Lock that bitch up, bro. It's crazy that people are still making money off of her. That's what's crazy. This girl is absolutely out of her mind, and they're signing book deals. They're like agents and people maneuvering behind the scenes. The pimping never ends, bro. Yo, it's fucking insane. They're still meat.

They're going to eat. Now she's off the conservatorship, right? So they could take even more money. But she gets the money at least. Does she? Or does the agent and the lawyer and all these other people siphon it all out, make sure her bills are paid? This feels like some Elvis shit. Y'all seen the Elvis movie with Homeboy in it?

Major something or something like that. What is his name? His manager that took half of his money. 50% was it. Yeah, but just treat him like a dairy cow. Like, yo, you live here. You perform here. You don't got to go anywhere else. And I feel like that's what they're doing. A dairy cow. That's quite a bit of musicians. 100%. But once you know that she's out of her mind, it just feels worse. Like, if you're a sane person and you're being taken advantage of, it's fucked up. And it's fucked up. But there's part of you that's going, I really want this fame. I really want all these other things. So...

If you're saying you are... If you're aware of it, you are allowing it because you're aware of it. There are people who get stolen from that don't know. That's fucked up. But this girl is out of her mind. She's dancing with the knives and shit. There's two stories about Justin. Let me know what you think of them. One is...

He actually cheated on her twice before she cheated, and then he came out with Cry Me a River. Oh, wow. Shut up, bitch. Who are you talking about? Nah. I don't even know. Who was that bitch for? I was on your side for a second. Who was that bitch for? Nah, I was on your side for a second, but you just now going to come out with that shit? That's so crazy. Because she was looking bad.

when that whole Cry Me A River shit and she never once mentioned that he cheated on her. Yeah, yeah. So now you're going to come out 20 years later and say this shit? Fuck that. So you don't believe it? I don't believe it. Okay. How old were they when they dated? Lock that bitch up.

How old were they when they did? They were like 20? No, 17 and 18 when they started. Bro, these are children that are being stupid. I don't know. You're also a dude. They had America in a chokehold, this couple. I don't remember this. We were teenagers. You're legitimately too young to remember. We were teenagers when they were together, and it was like, it's the couple. Cry me a river with Kanye. Fire, dawg.

It was probably that level, like Kim and Kanye, right? Like that type of level. Yeah, but people were rooting for them. I don't think a lot of people were rooting for Kim and Kanye. People were rooting for them. That's why they hated Britney when he said she cheated in that song. Kim K, male nanny. What's this? Yo, come on, yo. I already know how you feel about this.

Oh, come on, bro. Do you know the details? Yeah, she's like, she hired a male nanny so there would be a good male role model in Kanye's absence for her son. But a male nanny ain't a good male role model. Yeah. Why not? Why not? He's an entrepreneur, bro. Hardworking man. Entrepreneur. Taking care of the kids. Yeah, compassionate, empathetic. Yeah. I don't know, man. I'm with you. What's your real gender role shit? What's your problem with it?

You get to molest the kids. What? Come on. What grown-ass man wants to babysit other people's kids unless they go molest them? So that's only a job for women? Babysitting? Yeah. I'll hear him out. I'll hear him out. You male babysitters?

Caring for kids. To be fair, this is a grown-ass man. This is a grown-ass man whose full-time job is babysitting. You are crazy. Is he gay? He gets to be around Kim Kardashian and all her intimate settings and shit like that. Okay, so he's in it for the clout. Good ambiance around. Bruh, a male babysitter you're going to trust around your children, Al? A male babysitter.

I mean, a female one killed Selena. It's funny that she just... You can't trust Easy. No, that was her aunt.

No, I was just like the work of it. No, no, no, no. Now she like handled much. She was like heavily involved in their, their thing. I think. Oh, okay. But it wasn't her aunt. Oh, it wasn't her aunt? Yo, point is. No, it wasn't her aunt, but she was like a super fan. They've like got to work with them and work her way up. But it's also funny that she's just so bad at having a relationship with like a male who's a healthy role model. She's like, why don't I just hire somebody? Try not to fuck them. And then maybe they can. A male? No.

Wait, is that him? I don't know, bro. Is that him? Oh, that's a problem. No, that's a football player, right? I think he's a black dude. You just saw a black guy in a fucking jersey and you assume that he played for the team? Yeah. And when I do that, it's racist. When I do that at the airport every single time, it's racist. He's the tallest one with a jersey on. Bro. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. So who can be a babysitter? Women. Okay. Jamaicans? Lesbians?

Jamaican lesbian. I was raised by lesbians. Latino women. I was raised by Colombian lesbians. I can tell, bro. That's why you dress like that. That's it. I'm a Colombian lesbian. Did she just leave you at the park? No, that was the white bitch.

My mom hired this Irish bitch, never again, because she left me in a fucking seat, lazy bitch. All right? Then the Colombian lezos got on it, and it was fire. Oh, she was a lesbian? I had a Colombian lesbian. Used to cook me rice and tuna. You know she liked that tuna. Rice and tuna every single day. But yeah, male babysitter. No, I had a male babysitter once. I had to sit down with my parents after that shit.

I was like, what are we doing, yo? I sat them down. He left the door closed. I said, yo, sit down. What are we doing, yo? Y'all trying to get me fucked? If I didn't have my Oshkosh bagache, it would have been on. It was too difficult to unsnap the shoulders. I was luckily in my Oshkosh bagache. Apparently Kanye has been cool with them. They play two-on-two basketball. Why don't you think a female babysitter is going to fuck the kids? They not going to fuck them. Why? And if they are...

It's less. It's less. It's less. Yeah, it's a head start. It's less. It's less. Do we know where Ghislaine Maxwell is right now? It's less. I'm just saying. It's less, bro. She's still alive. Streets ain't safe. Is that the guy? I don't know who it is, bro. We got to get him on the pod. We immediately need him on the pod. Nah, bro. Hey, yo. Seen that before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ha ha.

All right, do we have any more, Marquis? Did you see the oldest woman ever that went skydiving? She was like 104 when she went skydiving? Yeah, they'd be making big deals about this shit. And then she died four days later or something. Wow. Oh, she actually died? Yeah. But why do people make a big deal about that when old people do daring things? You made a big deal about you skydiving at 25. Yeah.

What are you talking about? No, I have my whole life. Dumbass. Oh, so your point- I see the logic. You can see the logic now. Fucking idiot. You see the logic now. Yeah, if you're 25, you have the rest of your life. When George Bush's dad did it, everybody's like, oh, it's crazy he's doing it. He's going to die. Who cares?

The whole reason skydiving is scary is because you could die. It's because they're doing young people things. They're living lives beyond being incapacitated in a house, not doing anything. Them doing anything is cool, and then doing something especially like... The hell if she could have turned to dust. She might have never hit the ground. Pussy. Pussy.

That's what I say. Pussy. Why y'all waited that long? That's how she floated down. Do it when you're younger. Do it when you're younger. You got shit to actually... That's how she floated down, actually, was the pussy. They just opened it up. Lips. No parachute, bro. They went butterfly. She ripped the clit and the whole pussy opened up. Yo, that's crazy. I'm just saying, don't do it when you're old, bro. Get after it like the rest of us when you're young. That's soft. To wait that long? Soft. This is you getting excuses for when you're 100.

I went skydiving. Been there. Done that. Ask me if I'm going to go bungee jumping now. Was it her first time skydiving? I don't know if we know that. I don't know if that's true. Might not have been. Yeah, she might have been a pro. I don't know. She might have gone when she was seven. George Bush Sr.'s legs ain't work, bro. When he hit the ground, ooh. Wait, what happened? Just accordion. Just crumpled up. Ostrich. Bang. Have you gone skydiving? No.

Pussy. Yes, I had. I would go. I've been a little busy. Someone bought you skydiving for your wedding and you didn't go. Someone got you skydiving for your wedding gift and you never went. Kyle. Oh, hell yeah. You just did one of your fucking wedding gifts. I would do it. Why? Wait, what? Why? Why would I? Yeah. See, it's fun. It's also out of my control. I don't have to do anything.

You just lay there and then a guy floats you down. Seems pretty easy. That's the only part that seems fun, getting hugged up. I'm not going to have a woman strapped to my back. I said no to the woman. Yeah. Are you crazy? You're going to put your hands in the... It was this girl, she's like 5'4". And I was like, nah.

Give me that big motherfucker over there. I don't want to die with a guy smushed on my back. It is what it is. But you're going to die if a girl's pulling a parachute. Exactly. You can't trust her. All she's going to do is pull. I'll help her out. Women are always late. You don't know what she's going through, too. She's going to be fucking suicidal and shit.

You got to deal with this bitch moping on the way down. You're like, yeah, hold on, hold on. Why did he call me back? He's like, hey, we're getting close. I'm like, hey, hold it. I'm out. Dude. Yeah, you don't want to deal with all that, dude. But I would do it. Have you gone skydiving? Fuck no, dude. Would you? No. Pussy, man.

No. Watch your pussy the way I am. But you were bungee jumping when you were 100? I'm not bungee jumping. When you were 100? No. Why not? No, because I gave up my time. Yeah, I feel like there's a window. You were 100. Once you hit 30, you can't do stupid shit like that. Yeah, why are you still trying to be exhilarated? You're 100, bro. You got nothing to lose at that point.

Yeah, that's why it's no fun. It's fun when you got someone to lose. That's the whole exciting part of it. So if it's not exciting, then you should do it. It'd be easy. For what? If it's not exciting, now I got to get strapped up and jump off of shit when I'm just like, oh, I didn't die. Like, this seems like the biggest waste of a day. I mean, it'd be the afternoon, bro. I'm more likely to do it when I'm dumb old. Really? Yeah, because there's nothing else going on. Nah.

When you old, bro, you're just fucking... You're going to be doing Molly when you're old, bro. I'm going to be doing drugs. He's going to be 100 years old. I will be a drug addict, most likely. For sure. 100 years old, you got nothing to preserve. Exactly. Your brain's gone. Brain is mush. That's what I tell my parents. I'm like, you guys should just fucking do mushrooms. Why don't they do it? How they don't allow drugs, like recreational drugs in retirement communities, nursing homes, it's fucked.

Let these guys have something. Yeah, you should be 21 to drink. It's in there. You should be 70 to do anything else. Yeah, not prescription. Tell him about the villages, Mark. Oh, the villages in Central Florida. Do you know what the villages are? No. This is the largest retirement community in the world. They literally built an entire city. You have to be over a certain age just to live there. And then you apply, you get in. Everyone goes on golf carts. Everyone's old as fuck. And people just go around and fuck each other. And the golf carts have different- They got loofahs on the top.

And the different loofahs mean different things. Are you a swinger? Are you gay? Straight? Gay. Wow. Threesome.

Wow. Because they're all over 65, I think. Just hopped up on Viagra, playing golf, smoking pussy. Can't get pregnant. Can't get pregnant. Crazy STD rate, highest STD rate in the country. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So people literally just drive around on golf carts, drink all day. They got everything in the facility, golf course, tennis, pool. That shit sounds lit. They got activities every single day. Yeah. You just pull up. Grandkids can come visit you. Then they got to kick them out at a certain hour because the fucking starts. You know what I mean? It gets crazy. Yeah. It gets wild. Old as hell.

But yeah, I think if you hit 65, all drugs are illegal. Are legal. Yeah. You want to do heroin? Why not? Absolutely. I mean, 65 is young, B. Like, come on. You got half your life left. 40. You hit 40, you can do anything you want. It's fully legal. Once you're 40, once you're old as fuck, like once you're washed and fucking almost dead. When is it? 80? When's 80?

Nah, because 70, bro. 65 because of retirement. I think so. You worked your whole life. You paid into this economy and this world. Now you get to fucking do whatever you want. You get a pension, a bag of Coke, boom, on the table. Light it up. I think 70. 70 sounds about right. I mean, to start just absolutely demolishing your body, 80.

Bro, no. A lot of people don't make it to 80. We got to see what life expectancy comes. It's like, you got 65 and then if they die earlier, it's fine. It takes the burden off the social system. Oh, that's a great point. And they had fucking fun for 15 years. They had a blast, yo. That's what I'm saying, bro. That's a good idea. It's like, Tosh had this thing. He's like, we made the age 65 when you died at 67. You know,

We didn't plan for people to live this long. We can't handle it. So we've got to find a way to speed up people dying. And what better way for people to die than do blow until you're done? Oh, my God. Is it Tosh Pit? I mean, not that part. But he's like, yeah, you should retire later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drugs, dude.

Yeah. I might be all right with that, but 70 feels crazy early, bro. 70? He just... Yeah. We're saying 65. I think we're all on the 65. I think 80 or 75 at least. No one in my family made it to 80, bro. Yeah. That's crazy. Really? Yeah, I'm dying young. Yeah.

By 80, it should be required. They should be shooting you up with fentanyl or something. You know what I mean? It's optional 65. 80 is like it's in the soup. You got to poison the water, bro. You're microdosing at 80? Yeah. Run it up. What a good way to die on heroin, having the best time. Yeah. Your kids are there like, fuck, this is awesome. Yeah, run it up. Yeah, maybe that's a great idea. Shit. You can't do it before that. That's crazy. That's illegal. You got too much to live for. 70, though.

prostitution, legal. You can get it. You can give it. That's fire. Sell that box at 70, huh? Yeah. Set your own price. Whatever you want, dude. 70 is a different country. We're solving something here. I kind of do like taking care of old people in that way. Are you trying to get dicked down?

Easy. 70. Do we make, do we, how do I phrase this? We do national service at 18. You have to enlist and you can go fuck the old people. Well, yeah, but maybe that's a way to get out of jail time.

Yeah, exactly. Also that. So it's like if you're locked up for like a DUI or something like that. Yeah, you got a year or you can take a plea deal. Suck off an old guy. That's exactly what I was thinking. What were you thinking? Yeah, what were you thinking? Because that's just prison. That's just already prison. Yeah, but not an old guy. It's usually like a young, virile guy. Who will fuck your ass.

Who's dick would you rather suck? You just suck this guy's dick. I'm saying the women that get locked up. Oh, okay. And they could basically get a lower jail sentence by sucking off an old guy's dick. Yep. That works. That's what I'm saying, dude. I think that's a great scenario. It made America greater than it's ever been. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You could run on that platform. Absolutely, because old people vote. And if my platform is y'all get to do drugs, fuck hoes. But then they stop getting to vote.

Yep. I think once they reach a certain age, we gotta stop that. Because you aren't really invested- You're too drugged up too. No, not even that. You're not investing in the future of this country. You just voting for now shit. We need people who are like, yo, it needs to be nice for the next 30, 40, 50 years. Can't drive either.

Talk to me on that. You get the drugs, but you also can't drive. You're going to be incapacitated. But then they have to get- Golf cars is fine. Golf cars is fine, but they should have like an Uber credit that's part of their social welfare system. I like that. So they have a way to get everywhere they want without us. Because you don't want to have to, they can't drive, now you got to drive their grandma everywhere. No, no, no, no, no, no. We got Yusuf for that. Yeah, he'll drive them around. Yusuf? Yeah, the Uber driver, Yusuf. Oh. That felt-

That did feel like a little bit racist, right? Racially charged. Yeah. Wait, why is that racist? I went to school with a Nigerian dude named Yusuf. He drives Uber now. Oh, God. Don't do that. Wow. Wait, why is that bad? Wow, bro. Don't do that. It's not making any better. What happened, dude? You just won Black Frame. Let's take a break for a second. What the hell? Let's take a break for a second. What the hell, dude? Come on. Give me the peace pipe. Shout out Yusuf, bro. Pass me the peace pipe. All right, we're back. Let's do it. Let's have the conversation. Israel-Palestine.

It's been a little more than two weeks since the terrorist attack by Hamas, October 7th. And, um, I know a lot of people have been reaching out and they're like, Hey, when are you going to talk about this? When are you gonna talk about this? I learned something in the Russia, Ukraine war, uh,

and it confirmed this quote that exists. This quote is, when the war starts, the truth dies. And I remember at the beginning of the Russian-Ukraine war, there was that great story of the ghost of Kiev. And I got emotional watching videos about it. I remember almost tearing up about this man that gets in his plane after not serving in the military for 20 years, and he hits this guy, and he starts taking out these Russian jets and

The news was covering it, every Instagram was covering it, there's YouTube stories about it. And then a week later, it turns out it's not true.

And I think that we've learned that when the war starts, the truth ends up dying, at least on our social feeds over the last few weeks. And the reason why I didn't knee jerk jump to saying, hey, let's talk about this and give our opinion and stay at one. We're obviously fucking comedians. We're not gonna solve a geopolitical crisis been going on for 70 fucking years. But also because we're reacting emotionally to these things that we don't know exactly if they're true or not, right? And

I mean, you saw it. You even see it with the hospital bombing. Like, we, to this day, still don't know exactly what the fuck happened. Yeah. You know, both sides are obviously claiming the other side. Both sides are obviously using tons of propaganda to support their positions. And I think that what a lot of people are going through over the last couple weeks, especially people who are like one...

one bit removed from it. Like, obviously, if you're Israeli, you're Jewish, you're locked in your passion. If you're Palestinian, you're locked in your passion. But those of us who aren't either, I think what we've been going through is just like, what the fuck is true? Yeah. What the fuck is going on? Like, I'm getting all this information on my feed and I'm reacting to it. And then I'm finding out two hours later, oh, that was actually a picture from Kosovo. And you're like, what is happening here? And I think...

I think it took some time and I just want to talk to some Jewish friends. I want to talk to some Palestinian friends. I just want to understand what both groups were feeling.

I understand now how unbelievably isolating it is to be both of them in this scenario. So like, let's just take, for example, the Jews, right? You're a Western Jew. You're raised your entire life with the, with your history, with the stories of your victimization and your oppression, right? Jews have been kicked out of every single fucking country they've ever been in.

I mean, like literally you go to a country, even on this tour, I'd be doing some research of the city we're in. And then I just come across the date that the Jews were kicked out. And I was like, oh shit, King George did it to the fucking Jews in the year 1000 or whatever in England. I didn't even know that happened. Like every single country.

So you're listening to this information, you're as a Western Jew, you're hearing about it. Your grandparents, your private grandparents survived the Holocaust. 100%. Who tells you about it. 100%. People are gonna try to exterminate us. 100%. They're telling you this constantly. They're saying, hey, you're different and just let you know it could happen again. We gotta be very careful. You gotta be on your P's and Q's. And you're a Western Jew that grows up in fucking New York. You grew up in LA or something. You're like...

I'm just American. I'm like a white kid from America. What are they talking about? You hear about the anti-Semitism that will pop up sometimes, but you're like, I'm American. This is my parents. That was like my parents' time. And then October 7th happens, disgusting act of terror from Hamas, terrorist organization.

in Gaza and kills over a thousand Jews. And you think the reaction is gonna be empathy and sympathy and concern for you and what your people just went through this disgusting act.

But all of a sudden you see the next day, they're like people in the streets seemingly like excited about it. And their sections is not everybody, but there are people that are like chanting horribly anti-Semitic things. Yeah. Truly anti-Semitic things. A hundred percent. And that's not everybody, of course, but there are documented sections of the people that were doing it. But enough that it confirms. All of a sudden that voice that you quieted your whole life because you were like, that's just my grandparents being crazy. You're like, holy shit, is it true? This is a worst case scenario. We are different.

They are out for us. They do hate us. And they hate us because we're Jewish. That's the conclusion that you would logically come to. They want to exterminate us. They want us gone, right? You hear these chants. So I understand what a Jewish person feels like in that moment, especially a Western Jewish person who is

somewhat removed from the conflict. Obviously, everybody there has family members, family members who have lost their lives. You're aware of it, but you're living in the West, right? And you hear this thing and you're like, oh my God, it is true. It is true. We are different and people are out to get us. Shit, when we were in fucking...

Amsterdam, tell the story. You guys are walking around at night. Yeah, walking down the street. And then this dude like comes out to Dove and he's like hammered walking through the streets of Amsterdam. And he just seemed like a regular dude. He was like fist bumping everyone and being all fun. And he looks at Dove and he's like, oh, where are you from? And Dove was like, oh, Moroccan. He's like, are you Jewish? And he's like, yeah, I'm a Moroccan Jew. And he goes, oh, what do you think about what's going on?

And like gets in his face and like starts to like size him up. And Dov literally is just like, look, peace for everyone. We just want everyone to be happy. We love everyone. And he goes, yeah, we don't fuck with Israel around here. We don't fuck with Jews around here. Your kind isn't welcome here. Yeah. And the kind isn't welcome here is where it gets like, oh, now it's hate. And then we all step in and we're like, bro, chill. What are you doing? The guy's like hammered. He's fucking in a blackout. He's like, typical Jew. You always run like you always get other people to fight your battles. Typical Jew, blah, blah, blah. And then that was it. I'd never seen anti-Semitism before.

Out in the open. Yeah, just walking down the street in Amsterdam. Yeah, you hear about it on a fucking Call of Duty. You see it on comments, but you've never seen the actual hate and vitriol. And you could see how fucking isolating that must be if you're Jewish in that moment where you're expecting...

The sympathy and empathy of the world for losing over a thousand innocent people. We're not talking about like two armies colliding. We're talking about innocent people that have died. Like innocent people should never bear the cost of this ever. Still hostages and stuff. Still hostages to this day. And then you don't feel it. You're like, oh my God, I'm fucking isolated. And not only are they not giving you sympathy, some people are celebrating. Oh, exactly.

And that's when I was reaching out to my Jewish friends. I was like, oh, I don't ever think I've acknowledged that anti-Semitism is a thing still. Because I think we see it like, nah, you're white. Yeah.

It's not like that for a sizable percentage of human beings. Not a majority, but enough that it's significant. And also in the West, you often see Jews and you're like, they're doing well, they're making money, they'll be all right. Yeah. It's like you guys are like, well, you guys are doing well, but it's like, yeah, we go through racism too, but we're also struggling.

You know what I mean? So I don't think there is the same sympathy or empathy given to Jews. Like here in the West, it's like they'll call out anti-Semitism for it's like, oh, they own the banks or whatever. Yeah, you're like, give me that. How do I get that oppression? So I understand that, right? And then you look at the Palestinian side and-

I can also see how unbelievably isolated they, isolating it is for them where the only time they're ever talked about and their plight is ever discussed is when they're the terrorist. Yeah.

So imagine how infuriating that is, where every single day you're living, I guess, in an open air prison in Gaza. Every single day there's an occupation. This is not the first time buildings have been bombed. This is not the first time there have been Palestinians killed. Nobody's talking about it. Now they're talking about it. And they're talking about you guys as terrorists. And rightfully, Hamas, absolutely terrorist, disgusting act. Nothing justifies it. Nothing that happened before justified what happened to those innocent people in Israel. Right.

An Israeli kid that's eight years old doesn't know what the fucking word occupation even means. There's no way you can justify the murdering of them, right? But I can understand why these Palestinians are like, the only time the media in the West ever talks about us is when we're terrorists. And what about our innocent people who got killed? What about our innocent people? You don't ever mention that. Mm-hmm.

What about our innocent kids? What about what we go through on an everyday basis? Why do we not have humanitarian concerns for us at all? Where the fuck is it? Where's the attention? Where's the concern? It feels like nobody cares about you.

That same feeling that the Jews felt on October 7th, nobody cares about us. They're feeling that nobody cares about us. And then when something does happen, when Hamas is discussing act of terror, not only does nobody care about us, now we're gonna label you all as terrorists. So we're already view, they're already like, hey, we're victims here. Now, not only are we not victims, you've stripped our victimhood.

We're the oppressors? Yeah. While we're being oppressed? We're getting pushed off our land, and then one action makes us oppressors and terrorists? This has been going on for decades. You guys haven't done anything. And when I saw this, and I'm talking to my Palestinian friends, I'm talking to my Jewish friends, I've realized there's this gigantic chasm that exists with this issue. First of all, the casuals, the people who are not involved in it, right? Let's say the us. Right.

We are still trying to figure out what the history of this is for the last 70. The average person doesn't even know. They hear these buzzwords, settlements. I'm the average person. Occupation, apartheid. They don't get along. They can't have a two-state life. They be. Yeah. That's literally what it is, right? And then the people that are involved, every one of them has a cousin who died, a brother who died, a family member who has fucking died. So they are locked in, right? And I see this chasm. I'm like, I have to understand what both...

Sides are feeling but most importantly like what they're feeling about specific things and the distance between both sides is so far You would think there are two different conflicts Yeah, like if you speak to an Israeli or a Jew about this and you speak to a Palestinian you think there's no way you guys are speaking about the same company if you open your social media it looks like to complete because Like for example, there's the word that you see thrown around all the time Zionism Zionism this this idea this concept that there should be a Jewish state, right and

Zionists is used as a pejorative. If you're Palestinian, calling someone a Zionist, that is a negative word. Like you say, are you a Zionist, right? If you ask a Jewish person if they're a Zionist, they're just interpreting that as, do I believe that Israel should exist? Well, yeah, of course, I believe Israel should exist. But what does

What does the state of Israel mean to a Palestinian? It means you're pushing me off my land, you're gonna keep taking away my rights. It stands for the oppressionist, it stands for the occupation, right? It's like asking, it's like I'm a patriot, I love America. A Native American has a different interpretation of my patriotism. Yeah. My patriotism represents the eradication of their people and the removal of them from their land. So if a Native American asked me, are you a patriot? I go, hell yeah, fuck yeah.

yeah, I fucking love America. They're like, how could you love America? You're a terrorist to them. Exactly. As a black man, if I hear make America great again, I was like, wait, how far back? You know, what are you talking about? Literally that, 100%. And to them, a lot of them, it means, hey, we used to have manufacturing jobs. My parents used to have a job. That's the America I'm thinking about when I think make America great again. I'm not thinking about you guys being subjugated, but obviously that's all y'all are thinking about. But how could you not think about it? Yeah, exactly. So it's even the support the troops thing, Mark. Mm-hmm.

So, break down that example that you had about the, as an American, we're like, yeah, we support our troops. What does that mean to the places that our troops are banging away at? Yeah, bomb the wedding that my uncle was at. All right, those are the troops you support? And you're like, well, that's not what I thought when you asked me to support the troops. I support the troops for risking their lives. My brother-in-law, that's in the Navy. I support him. Yeah.

The words that are a sense of pride for one side are the source of oppression for another. How can they even begin to have a conversation about what's going on if they can't even agree on the definition of a word and both of them are understandably right about it, right? So, so far apart. Once I'm seeing like how far this chasm is, I'm like, what else is going on here? And I'm like,

Okay, the problem it seems like everybody's talking about currently right now is Hamas. How do we get Hamas out of Gaza? Because if we could get Hamas out of Gaza, then Gaza could live free and everything would be good. It's Hamas, this terrorist organization that's subjugating their people. And every Palestinian I've ever spoken to is like, yes, Hamas is horrible. Horrible, disgusting, absolutely disgusting what they did. And that terror attack is disgusting what they've done before. And it's disgusting how they've oppressed us within Gaza.

Right? Every single person I've ever spoken to, just like every single Jew I've ever spoken to, is like, yeah, we want a two-state solution. We want them to be able to live free. We want to be able to live free. We don't want this at all. Every single Jewish person I've spoken to is like, we don't even want the settlements. Why are we keeping doing the settlements? You're just aggravating this fucking situation. These people on both sides- Don't like the Israeli government either. Bro, there was huge fucking, there was riots and there was these huge protests in Israel before for six months up to October 6th about how divided the country was.

I went to Israel with Weezy and almost everyone we spoke to, and younger kids around our age, all don't like the government and what they're doing. Exactly. And I think it's probably no different for American intervention strategies where it's like, I don't think that's representative of American sentiment. I don't think if you ask the average American, like, yeah, we should fucking be in Afghanistan for 25 years. That's what we need. We're like, no. We're so far removed from it. Yeah.

But if you're an Afghanistan, if you're a person from Afghanistan, if you're Afghani, if you're an Afghan, you're like, how could I separate you from your government? How can I? Like, it's your government that's doing this to me and you vote them in, right? Isn't it a democracy? And then you just claim ignorance? Fuck you.

You're taking my rights, you're killing my family members, and you're somehow removing that? No, fuck you. You vote these people in. And then, I mean, there was this guy, Bassem Youssef, that was on Piers Morgan. He had this interview, and he brought up an interesting point. He's like, people bring up this thing about Hamas all the time. Hamas is the issue. And he goes, there's no Hamas in the West Bank. And...

Israel continues to occupy. There's an apartheid state and they continue to expand these settlements. You can't tell me, he's basically saying, what is the excuse for that? Why isn't there this dreamlike scenario over in the West Bank if there's no Hamas, if Hamas is the only issue? And I understand that frustration as well. I understand that frustration for the Palestinian people who are like, hey,

Yeah, let's agree. Let's get Hamas out of here. But where is the good faith? Show us the good faith that it will be different. How can I believe if you're Palestinian right now, you're like, how can I believe it's going to be a different scenario than the West Bank if we have the scenario without Hamas and there's still people that are living and struggling under the occupation? I get that frustration. Yeah.

Israel needs to show that proof that with this scenario without Hamas, is it better? Of course. But are they still living? Is it still occupied? Is it still an apartheid state? Yeah. They need to prove that. They're the ones in control. They're the ones in charge. I think it's their burden of proof. Yeah. Don't you think? Yeah. Yeah.

I don't think we're here necessarily to offer a solution, but just to empathize with the both sides that are. Yeah, there's no way we could. It's the biggest thing that's lacking across the board. I think if both, and not geopolitically, but person to person, if both sides just acknowledge, yeah, man, what happened to you is fucked up.

I think they would be way more receptive to hearing the other side. If Palestinians are like, hey, man, I understand a lot of people are anti-Semitic and that probably sucks. And historically, you have been oppressed. That sucks. Then I think Israelis would be like, yeah, also, what's been happening to you guys doesn't justify the terror attack. But you were oppressed for decades, you know, in your own homeland. And that's fucked.

It's just so hard, I imagine, for both sides to even begin to offer the olive branch when you feel like you're being stepped on. Look, again, like you said, we're not here to offer a solution, but we are here to offer that observation that there is this gigantic chasm between both sides and even how they're interpreting the same, not only events, but reaction to those events. I can't even imagine the frustration there.

you must feel if you're Palestinian. And there's not a peep about anything you're going through until your side commits an act of terror. And I cannot even imagine the frustration of Jews

That innocent Jews, a thousand of them are fucking murdered and there are people in the streets seemingly like supportive of it. Really chanting some crazy things. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. And we're not even bringing in like the geopolitical chess moves that are being made outside of their situation. How this is really a proxy in a lot of ways for what other countries are trying to either stop or...

how other countries are trying to bring attention away from certain things. Like Russia has everything to gain from America putting money into this struggle, from America bringing warships into this struggle. What happens if we start pulling money away from Ukraine and that support? And Russia takes that immediately. So if I'm Russia, I wanna bolster this as much as I possibly can, fan that flame. If you're Iran, Saudi Arabia and Israel were about to sign a deal that they were gonna be friends publicly. First time, I think, in history.

If I'm Iran, I'm like, I can't let that happen. I gotta do something right here. I have to support something that's gonna make Israel behave in a way that's gonna make Saudi Arabia not able publicly to sign some sort of agreement or accords with them because they have to save face. It's, yeah. And like most wars, rich and powerful people will probably benefit and poor innocent people will probably suffer. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it is just anyway, it's super tragic. And I know a lot of people were asking us to to talk about it. I'm sure that we'll continue to. I mean, but I think it was important for us to, like, take a moment and really digest what was going on so we could be thoughtful about it. You know, a lot of people reach out. Hey, you need to talk about Palestine. You need to talk about Israel. You need to show your support. You need to show your support. And it's like what they're really saying is you need to echo my feelings.

And that's not what we have to do, right? We have to look at this, digest it, and talk about it in a way that we feel represents our feelings on it and is most honest. Yeah. I think the thing we can all agree on is that what's happening over there is tragic. Yeah. Like the killing of innocent people is horrible. This is... Yeah. On both sides, no justification for it. Yeah. And if we miss something, don't kill us. We just want peace.

Yeah, 100%. And hopefully that will be... Shit, man. At this point, I'm like, yo, just cease fires. Please, please, please. Yeah, it's so tricky. So yeah, hopefully we get that and then we get some sort of pause on this. It feels like that's the only thing that's been happening over the last 70 years. It's just pause and pause and pause. But yeah, at a certain point in time,

Yeah, at a certain point in time, something needs to happen. I don't know what that is. I don't even know how you begin to solve a situation like this. I don't think we're going to solve it right now. Yeah, yeah. Well, guys, that's going to be the end of the episode. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. We appreciate you guys. And, yeah.

Hopefully we get some resolutions soon. Hopefully we get some peace soon. And bare minimum, hopefully we get a ceasefire soon so all these innocent people's lives cannot be taken away. God bless.