sarah baker is my type
35:58 Share

with cash back on every purchase.

How do you cash back? Learn more at chase.com slash freedom to be. Restrictions and limitations apply. Offer subject to change. Cards are issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A. Member FDIC.

Hey guys, welcome to this week's episode of Pretty Lonesome. This week I am sat just off the Pacific Coast Highway, which is what's behind me, and I'm looking at the beach. You can't see the beach because then the light would be bad. But I'm in my new truck, I'm in the Ford F250, and I did not drive it to the Pacific Coast Highway before.

I still can't drive it but guess what this morning guess where I went I went to the fucking DMV which is so the most American thing that I could possibly imagine and I remember being so I used to watch like teenagers getting their like

driver's license vlogs. And I, for some reason, these were like crack to me. I used to be really obsessed with people going and adopting animal vlogs, people getting their driver's license vlogs and house moving vlogs. Like I, this was like crack. And also for some reason, period advice videos. That was like my,

Thing when I was 14 I used to watch them obsessively I don't really know why but so I know what the fucking DMV looks like and apparently a lot of the government buildings in America are identical to each other because I've seen that exact DMV 5,000 times on YouTube but it must just be that they all look the same because when I walked in I felt like I was meeting a celebrity because they had those computer screens at those like standing desks and it was literally like and then just like rows of metal chairs and like it was so fun and

The guy at the desk when I was like doing the paperwork before the test was so fun and he was talking about the Yankees game and he literally like the whole vibe was just like every American office TV show I've ever seen in my life. It was very interesting because everyone at the desk that was working at the DMV and I feel like this is a unique experience.

they were talking to each other and they were laughing and they were cracking jokes about the Yankees and about their girlfriends and about... I don't even know. They were just talking and it was fun and they were playing Taylor Swift over the speakers and I was like, why would anyone live in Crawley? You know what I mean? Why was I doing that? So, not that I live in Crawley. It's just the only place I can name without giving away my location. I love Crawley, actually. No shade. It's got a great cinema world and it has...

TGI Fridays, which is rare in the UK. Crawley is the only place that I've ever seen in the UK in the south of England that resembles America. And then once you get like past the Midlands and you go up north, it's basically just like scary America, like new build stuff. Like they have fucking Dunkin' Donuts up there. Did you guys know that? If you've never been to the north of England, they've got Dunkin', they've got Taco Bell, they've got like

Chick-fil-a, I'm pretty sure. Crazy. Anyways, so I went to the DMV and I had to take my driver's permit test because now that I'm here on like a different visa, they just won't let me drive. Usually if you're a tourist in the US, you can just get a rental car. I can actually get a rental car, but I just can't drive my own car because I own this truck and I can't drive it unless I have like a proper American license, which is so fucking annoying. Anyways...

Went to the DMV. I got my license. I had a very teenage morning. Like, I feel like a child today. I woke up really early. I got picked up to go to the fucking DMV. And then I had a DMV escort, which was insane. And he just basically, like, let me jump the line. I really felt like a child today.

traveling alone like I had a DMV escort who stayed with me the whole time and he took me to the desk got me checked in and then I went and took my test and I had been studying for it but I'm not gonna lie I was a little bit overconfident because I was like I've been driving for six years like I know this stuff and even if I don't know the exact answer common sense like why would I not know the rules of the road like America's similar enough to the UK and then I got in there and they were I did study I did study and I was a bit nervous once I started studying because I was like okay I actually don't know this stuff it's just like

The lines in the road, they're different. Duh. It's a different country. I don't know. But I was like, I'm sure it's common sense. It turns out it's actually not. It's actually extremely important and it's specific information that changes by the country you're in. Who would have fucking thought? Maybe there's like a reason they make you take the driver's test once you come to America. Like, I don't know. Maybe it's because their roads are fucking different. You idiot. Anyway, I went to the DMV and I took the theory test and I failed it. Yeah.

But the good news is the guy escorting me, Anthony, he said, you can retake it three times. But if you fail all three times, then you will have to reapply for the whole thing. And like that costs money and time and stuff. And I was like, OK, he was like, you want to retake it? And I was like, oh, is it going to be long? Like, I thought we're going to have to queue up again and like do the whole paperwork thing again. But I was like, let me actually just fucking retake it while I'm here because it was like a 50 minute drive. Anyway, long story short, Anthony's like, OK, turn around. I was like, what?

I literally do a spin back to my test taking computer and he presses like restart and I was like, oh, it's that easy. So thank fucking God I stayed because then I passed. I passed my knowledge test. Yes, I did. It was because I kept getting the numbers wrong. Like they asked me what the blood alcohol volume you can drive with is. And I was like, I don't know. One shot of vodka, I would say. Like for me personally, like a half a glass of wine, like

is about my limit, officer. I don't know, like fuck, what is the blood alcohol level that I can drive with? Anyway, I put 0.4% 'cause I thought, or 0.04% 'cause I thought

That's way too much turns out 0.08 percent. So maybe I'll have two shots of vodka next time. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding I'm joking literally joking. That's not funny. Um, I passed my driver's license So now I have a permit which means I can drive on my UK license for one year with the permit But I didn't drive this car yet because I still don't have insurance So my friend drove it for the cars first outing. She did a good job actually we learned that the fuel gauge

doesn't work and the speedometer doesn't work and the temperature gauge doesn't work and then we saw that the car has 600,000 miles on it which is not ideal but

It's part of her charm, I suppose. I guess it is from, it's from 1969. Like, it's gonna wreck up the miles, I guess. Like, whoever had this before me obviously used it. Anyway, I was watching last week's episode of Pretty Lonesome today because I was, it got edited and then I watched the edited version. In the episode, I was like talking about integrity of character and stuff and I was like,

Ah, she has a good point. By the way, whenever I film a podcast episode, I literally think I get possessed and then I talk about stuff. And then whenever I like rewatch an episode, I'm like, how did I know about that? Like, that's so smart of me to have said that. I don't even think I knew that. I'm like, wow, look at me go like with my thoughts. Anyway, so I learned a lot from that bitch. And she was talking about integrity of character and how like it's she's like learning to be in one place without letting it change her.

But also the fact that she even cares to not let a place change her is significant or like it's a signifier of the fact that she actually for the first time ever doesn't completely hate herself, which is like revolutionary for her. And I was like, oh, kind of sad. But congratulations to her as well. Anyway, I was watching that and I was like, so interesting that I don't fucking hate myself because I actually deeped it. And I was like, wow.

wow, my life has changed in quality so much because I don't hate myself. Like just that fact alone, I'm like, things really are different now. And I feel like I have been waking up excited to just like exist, which is genuinely a new experience for me. And it's not because I'm in LA. It's just because, well, you know what? It's not because I'm in LA. It's because there's fucking sun. It's seasonal depression went away, but yeah.

It's also because of the changes that I've made over the last few months. Like I said in last week's episode, I'm just recapping. I'm like mind blown. I'm like, wow. She said she's happy. Congratulations to her.

Building a business may feel like a big jump, but OnDeck small business loans can help keep you afloat. With lines of credit up to $100,000 and term loans up to $250,000, OnDeck lets you choose the loan that's right for your business. As a top-rated online small business lender, OnDeck's team of loan advisors can help you find the right business loan to fit your needs. Visit OnDeck.com for more information.

Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank. OnDeck does not lend to North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval. Embrace the magic of early deals with Target's Early Black Friday Sale. For three days only, get 30% off holiday lights and select toys, and up to 50% off small appliances. Hurry, these deals end Saturday. Save more on gifts. Happier holidays from Target. Restrictions apply.

Do you guys want to know something that someone told me this week that's insane? So obviously I've like talked a lot about the fact that I have fucking acne. It's not not news to anyone.

And it's all like just the lower part of my face and like here as well. It's like my chin and my mouth area, which is my least favorite area to have acne. Like, could you not go to my forehead or something? I don't know. Every area is annoying, but I've had it for like a year or two now. And it's weird because I just never had acne before. Like I had it when I was like 14, 15 and then it went away. And then it came back when I was like 20 and now I still just have it. And I'm like, what?

So my friend, she was like, whenever you like next day in LA, you should use this facialist. And I was like, well, I'm in LA right now. What's her name? And so she sent me her, she ended up putting us in touch. And I sent the woman pictures of my skin because she asked to see, and I was like, okay, this is the acne. And I sent her a picture and she was like, oh, that doesn't look hormonal to me. And I was like,

What do you mean? She's like, it just doesn't usually, like the spots themselves wouldn't, I guess she just knows. I don't know what the fuck she's talking about. She's like, the spots just don't look like hormonal acne spots. And she wasn't saying like the location of my face because I always thought that like the lower half of the face was hormonal. The actual acne just doesn't look hormonal, whatever the fuck that means. And she was like, it's probably because you're using products that are too rich for your face. Now I cast my mind back in time. The date I got acne, like that period of my life, I had changed two things.

I had changed something about my hormones and I had started to wash my face now I know it sounds gross to say like oh before that I never washed my face, but I'm actually gonna be so honest with you I never fucking wash my face. I literally was at university and like I barely did skincare like I didn't have dry skin I didn't have oily skin really like I just had skin that never caused me a problem I never had acne. I never had like pigmentation like my skin was perfect

Like, for lack of better wording and to literally not, like, not trying to hype myself up, it was perfect. Like, it was so clear. The only issue I ever had with my face was I had, like, these little veins around my nose. But apparently they're burst capillaries and it's not even a skin issue. It's just, like...

blood I don't know anyway I changed something with my hormones and then I started to wash my face and moisturize my skin and I started slow I started very basic washing my face moisturizing it and I didn't really have any skin issues I was like using CeraVe whatever and then I upped

the stakes because I started to get like PR stuff sent to me and like then I would start to use fucking exfoliants and like fancy moisturizers and fancy face washes and then I started to shoot and get my makeup done by all these different people and like my life just changed like that's my face my skin like everything changed because suddenly I had all these different things on it all the time and I was like whoa so all this time I was like yes I had a hormonal change around that point in my life I'm looking back now and I'm like no that's when I started to wash my fucking face so maybe

Maybe I just have to stop washing my face. Maybe that's the solution. And it's actually weird because if this has been the problem that like I've been putting too much on my skin and it's just not meant for me, I'll be so pissed off. I'll be so pissed off at all the facialists I've been to have been like, you need seven of my products. Everyone that I've seen that's been like, yeah, you should use like this, this, this, this, this, and this. I will find each and every one of you and I will kill you. Sorry, that's not nice. I won't do that. There is such an attractive man over there. I'm like...

That's insane. And he's just on the side of the street. Like, I feel like it's very rare to see extremely attractive people just wandering around. Because, like, by your early 20s, if you're, like, hot, like, that kind of hot that I'm looking at over there, I feel like it's only natural. You work in a role because that's how fucking hot you are. Like, that's, like, a model, you know? Like, your face is, like, you're so hot that you look like an alien. It's hard to find them roaming, you know?

By this point, they're like kind of plucked away and they're, I don't know, in Paris. But there's one right there. We caught a wild one, girls. Anyway, I'm going to be pissed if my skin issues have always just been because I've been putting stuff on my face. And then trying to resolve the skin issues that those products give me by putting more stuff on my face. So just as a tester, I've started washing my face once a day. So I take my makeup off at night, wash it at night.

I started using a really simple moisturizer and not doing anything else to my face. And then in the morning, I haven't been washing it. I've been wiping it with like a wet cotton bud with Evian water because I've heard the water in LA is not the best. And then also I want to keep the pH consistent because I'm crazy. I want to keep the pH consistent because it's important, I think. Anyway, lol. My sister just texted me, my big sister. She texted me, where do you live?

Sorry, forgot to tell ya. It's really bad, like it's chronically bad how much I do not keep my family in the loop. I love my family so much, like they were consistent in each other's lives, like we all speak, none of us have like beef or anything and then I get texts like this, where do you live? Sorry, I moved to the other side of the world and I literally forgot to fucking tell you. I never told her that I found somewhere to like be and I guess I just kind of forgot to tell her. Oh, I feel bad. Anyway, being in LA so far is...

It's interesting. I have been so busy that I haven't even seen any of my like friends yet, which makes me sad because I like the people that I know here. It's just like, it would just be nice to see like a familiar face. I think I really need to see someone that I've seen before because every single person that I've seen since I landed here, I've never seen their face before I landed. And like,

I may have worked with them before, like talked to them on text, but like I don't know if you guys have ever felt this. If you've ever gone somewhere that's very far away from your home and you've gone alone and you've stayed for an extended period of time or even a short period of time, because I felt this the first time I ever went anywhere by myself that was abroad. There is like a fatigue you feel by not seeing someone that is like recognizable.

and i don't know what it is it's probably like a genuine like psychological thing but like it doesn't mean that i'm like not comfortable around the people i'm around it literally feels like my eyeballs are tired i'm like i need to see something that i recognize before i lose my mind and it's actually kind of a scary feeling if i tune into the feeling i get like uncomfortable and i'm like let me ignore that the first time i ever went anywhere by myself i was 17 and i went to south africa and

and I worked at this like rehab center for monkeys, not humans obviously and I was not equipped for that at 17 but yeah, it was like a volunteer project and it was really fun but I remember freaking the fuck out. Like I got to that airport or I think I stopped over in like Doha or something and it was

That was like fucking nine hours into the trip. And I was freaking out. I was like, I need to see someone that I know. And that was obviously like quite an intense thing to feel at nine hours. But it was my first time. And this it's taken me a while to get to that feeling again. This time I've been here for like maybe a week and a half now. And I'm like, I'm enjoying it and everything is good. But like, I really would love to see a familiar face.

But then I'm like, if I even see someone that's familiar to me, will I even fucking, will it help? Because like, who am I going to see? Like, who am I going to see that I know? Like everyone that I know in LA, I've met three times ever. And I love them, but the familiarity aspect is maybe not strong enough to relieve the feeling that I have. But my mummy's coming on Thanksgiving, which is random. She didn't mean to do that. It's just like the flights were cheaper that day. And we were like, ha, why are they so cheap on the 28th?

book it and then someone was like that's thanksgiving she's flying on thanksgiving i was like i don't give a fuck i'm gonna make her a turkey what is thanksgiving i don't know am i gonna eat turkey on it maybe i'm definitely gonna cook a turkey on it whether or not that turkey will be consumed by anyone is well we'll find out so

Chase Freedom Unlimited rewards all that you are with cash back on every purchase. We've built a life together collecting vintage items that connect us to the Black community and our vibrant heritage. This is Kiana Stewart. And I'm Shanna Handy. We're partners in life and in business. With Freedom Unlimited, adding antiques to our collection is

Even more rewarding. How do you cash back? Learn more at chase.com slash freedom to be. Restrictions and limitations apply. Offers subject to change. Cards are issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member FDIC. Holiday magic is in the air, and DSW's got all the shoes to make your season extra merry. Believe. You've got parties to attend and lists to check twice, so DSW is taking care of the details, like gifts to make their eyes all aglow, styles that bring joy to your world.

Brands everyone wants, like UGG, Nike, Birkenstock, and more. And deals to make your budget bright. Find the perfect shoes for you and yours at a DSW store near you or DSW.com.

But my mum's coming so that relieves everything. I just have to wait for her to get here. I feel like I am kind of waiting for my mum to get here because then I get to go home. And I don't want to go home. It's just like, it'll be nice. Like I feel like it's a big stress reliever knowing I'm going home so soon. I'm like, okay, everything's fine. Even if I'm stressed, even if I'm homesick, like I really bitch, like enjoy yourself because this is just a holiday. Ew. I'm sweating so much that my hands have done that thing like when you go in the bath.

That's insane. Sorry. By the time this episode comes out, I will be in New York. Like, the week or the day this episode comes out, I will be in New York. And...

and I'm gonna see my friend in New York, my friend from London. And I'm so excited, 'cause New York is basically London, kind of. I personally prefer London, 'cause it's London. But New York is way fucking cooler. It's prettier, I would say. Well, parts of it, definitely. And I like that it's bigger. 'Cause the one thing that does bug me about London is it's not that big. I actually don't know which one's bigger. I'm gonna go to New York with my friend, which is nice, because that homesickness will dissipate when I see her, because she is actually a familiar face. But it's been so weird. Like, I get homesick, like,

No, like it's insane. Like for someone who is, doesn't even care that much about being at home or like I love going on trips and like I never get homesick when I'm on a trip. This time around, like being in LA,

I've been so homesick that it's been genuinely weird. Like I would phone my enemy at this point. I would phone my enemy just to be like, I miss you. I'm going to call up the girl that bullied me in secondary school and ask her if she wants to chat because I'm homesick. Like the daytimes are fine and then it gets to nighttime and I'm like,

Anyway, I'm going to my first Halloween party tomorrow night and I'm so scared. Oh, fuck. Do you guys want to know what my outfit is? Because I'm so proud of myself. It'll already have been like done and dusted by the time anyone sees this episode. So I can tell you no one's going to steal my idea. But it's Alex Earl's party and her party is Alice in Wonderland themed. And when I saw that, I was like,

Bitch, there's like five fucking characters in that movie. Like realistically, what am I going to come as? And like everyone's going to be dressed the same. So I was panicking and I was like, every outfit option is taken because obviously like everyone's going to be like the queen of hearts and then like there's going to be Tweedledum and Tweedledee or whatever the fuck it's called and like there's going to be the caterpillar and that's going to be taken and like I was like, fuck, I don't have any creative ideas for Alice in Wonderland. And then I was like,

What if I just went as Alex? I got a hair stylist and I got him to order me a blonde wig and then I tried to get Patrick Tarr to come and do my makeup but he's out of town so he couldn't do it. Fully dressed as her, I've ordered Dolphins merch and it's actually really fucking cute merch. I ordered...

ripped blue jean shorts and I ordered a push-up bra. I don't know what else to do about that section of the outfit. I don't have the facilities, but we'll try our best. And then, not that Alex wears push-up bras, I have to wear a push-up bra to have any semblance of her tits, but you won't be able to see them anyway underneath the dolphins thing.

So it's fine. But then I'm gonna wear like knee-high boots with it, I think. But then I'm like, that's kind of ugly. Like high-waisted denim jeans shorts with fucking knee-high boots. I think that would just be like an insult to Alex. So I'm gonna have to do some research actually tonight about what the fuck she usually wears when she wears those denim shorts. I'm so excited. I hope it looks good. I hope it reads well. I feel like the Dolphins merch is unmistakable. You know, like why else would I be wearing that? I'm excited. I'm gonna be so fucking angry.

angry if there is another Alex Earl at this party. I mean, other than the real one, of course. But like, if someone else has taken that idea, I feel genuinely entitled to that idea. Okay? If there is another bitch at that party who thought that she could go as Alex Earl, no. That's my intellectual property. You can't have that.

got inside my fucking brain and you took it. And that's not fair. Anyway, I'm gonna have fun cosplaying as Alex Earl. And then I have another party the next night, which I don't know what I'm gonna go as, and in fact, there's a high chance that we won't be showing up because, like, I have to be excited about something to force myself out the house, and the way to get me excited is to have a cute outfit planned, and I don't have a cute outfit planned. I don't even have a horrible outfit planned. I don't have anything planned, so now I'm in trouble, and now I think, mm-hmm, I might take a conveniently tight...

and sleep through the entire event and then apologize profusely. Ask for forgiveness, not permission, when you want to skip an event. That's my stance. They'll never forgive you, but they'll also never give you permission not to come. So it's like, well, I, the other day, got this urge to watch Cheaper by the Dozen 2 because it is my favorite. I don't want to say it's my favorite movie because that's something I would really have to stand by and I haven't really picked a favorite yet and it goes between like

Cheap by a Dozen, Devil Wears Prada, and obviously B-movie. If you've been here since I used to talk about fucking B-movie, that's insane. Like, I feel like no one really appreciates anymore how much I love the B-movie. I don't want to claim a favourite movie as the point because I would feel like I have to stick by that and I'm not gonna. So it's one of my top

three or five. Point being, I got the urge to watch it, which is rare. Like usually an urge will brew with me about a movie. I'll be like, oh, I kind of want to watch this. And then urge brews over like maybe a week or a month until it's finally like loud enough that I sit down and watch the movie. But this time it was like

the morning I woke up I was like I want to watch Cheaper by the Dozen and I looked forward to it all day and I sat down in the evening and I watched Cheaper by the Dozen 2 which is the best one out of both the movies by the actually no I like them both I like Cheaper by the Dozen and Cheaper by the Dozen 2 just disappointed there was never a Cheaper by the Dozen 3 unless there was and it's just not on Netflix and I just like don't know about it guys

They dropped a fucking cheaper by the dozen 2022 edition. It's gonna be the worst thing I've ever seen and it's probably gonna trigger like anger. Has a 4.6 stars out of 10. 7,000 ratings, there's no way. 248 reviews. Hold on, I'm gonna watch the trailer. This might be life-changing for me. Okay, well, it looks fucking terrible and I'm gonna watch it the second I get home. I can't wait. You know what pisses me off? Okay.

So you've got Cheaper by the Dozen and Cheaper by the Dozen 2, two fucking classic movies, very reminiscent of its era in cinema, okay? And everyone knows that movies made in the early 2000s, especially American family films like Cheaper by the Dozen and Home Alone and whatever else, are some of genuinely the best movies. And for some reason...

No one can replicate them. Like I've never- and you've got Home Alone fucking five and six and they suck and everyone knows that and I'm like, you guys can't just do that one thing again. Who died that was like held the secret formula to Home Alone and Cheaper by Dozen and fucking Devil Wears Prada? There's so many people and there's a guy fucking rollerblading around my car and I want them to leave.

But anyway, you want to make another cheaper by the dozen because you just did. And obviously you want to make money. There's no other reason to make a fucking film. You want to make money. You've put resources into it. You've put time, effort, energy, whatever. Why wouldn't you make it good? And you know the secret to success is to replicate whatever fucking formula they had in Home Alone, then.

by a dozen and The Suite Life of Zack and Cody season one and two and three. Genuinely, I want to know what happened in like the back end of Hollywood for that to never be able to be done again because there has not been a single fucking movie since 2007 that is good. Like,

And there's good ones. Like, there's movies that's great. Like Avatar. Great. But, like, you clearly want to replicate a vibe. You clearly want to retell a story that's already been told. Why would you not make it, give it that sprinkle that those other movies have? And if anyone knows what the word is for the sprinkle of whatever the fuck it is that those other films have, please tell me. Because why...

Why is it not replicable? Why is it genuinely- what- how did it die? And it's not- it's a mixture of like, stop using those HD cameras, 'cause everything looks shit. I also think it's- it's something to do with the background noise. No hate. Love this show. One that springs to mind genuinely. I love this show. I've never watched it, but I don't hate it. There's- I'm like indifferent towards it. I've seen like one or two episodes.

I don't want to come off rude, but the best example I can think, because this is why I didn't indulge in more episodes, because the storytelling is second to none. Like, it's really good. And the acting, again, second to none. But I didn't indulge in more than one or two episodes because of the fact that it had no background noise. It's Chicken Girls. Like, I tried to get into the Chicken Girls thing when I was, like, a teenager, and I just couldn't because, again...

I'm not going to say badly produced. It's just like produced in a certain way where there's no background noise. So when you're, when someone is saying a line or someone's having a conversation or someone's walking somewhere, but there's never like background noise and chatter. And it's like the ambience is so different. And it's in all these fucking like, they're like new build films. It's like a new build housing estate in the UK is what these films feel like to me. They just lack depth.

depth and substance and like the grain over the camera and it's not even a grain because I don't watch Home Alone and think it's bad quality. It's the difference in coloring. You can't have crispy fucking 4k HD recordings and then have like crispy great audio recordings as well and like that doesn't make it good, you know? Like higher quality doesn't make a fucking film good. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

And that's what they've done, I think. I mean, it's hard to tell, 'cause the trailer had, what is that, Kelly Clarkson? Is there a way to find out who? Oh, it's Zach Braff. Why do I know him? I'm not angry at this film, I'm just confused as to why no one can replicate the movies that everyone likes.

There was a movie that came out recently and everyone was like, oh my god, it feels like old television and I can't remember what the fuck it was. Also, and maybe this is just because I'm not a child and I'm not, you know, so indulged in the child actor culture, but like, as a kid, when I tell you I was fucking in love with Sarah Baker, I was in love with that bitch and she was in Disney, Suite Life of Zack and Cody as well, and she always played the same character. She was always a tomboy, she always was like a skater girl and...

that was how i realized i did not care for zach or cody i wanted whatever the her name was in zach and cody i don't remember you know i watched like hannah montana and i was like okay cool and then i would watch sweet life of zach and cody and they'll be like you know london tipton and i'd be like

okay, like she's cute. And then I would see little Sarah Baker, whatever the fuck her name was. And we were about the same age and I was in love with her. Like I genuinely was in love with her. And that's so funny to me because my type has never changed in women. All it takes is one backwards cap and I'm there. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. Home of the number one checkout on the planet.

The Shop Pay feature even boosts conversions up to 50%. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout top brands like all birds use. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash podcast free, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash podcast free to upgrade your selling today.

I'm like a loyal fan. Loyal fan because I liked her in every movie she was ever in and I feel like there was this one movie and for some reason my mum rented it for me from Blockbusters and so we had it for ages and it was called Grounded and I've never watched it since and if you remember this movie...

please comment because me that movie was literally so transformative for me as a child and i can't even remember if that girl was in it sarah baker barker whatever the name was i was so in love with this girl from grounded that i used to just watch it on repeat repeat i need to go back to london i would watch it on repeat sorry allison stoner is her name apparently

described as a sporty troublemaker yeah i was in love with her and she was really my reason for watching cheaper by the dozen as much as i did as a child also the only reason i would ever watch zach and cody was to like just pray that she would maybe guest star you know which is so funny because when i was a kid i've really tried to have an imaginary friend i could never make like i did not fucking want an imaginary friend but i just thought i had to like i was like

cosplaying being a child I literally was like no I'm gonna fucking have one I think I named her Rebecca or something and I kind of would just like beef her a bit because I would always go on walks my family was a big walking family I'd be so fucking bored on the walks that I would try and make my imaginary friend hang out with me on the walks because I thought I was meant to have her so I'd created her in my head like almost like the way you would make a sim and then I would try and like force her to come and play with me and

I never found it fun. But I would like get annoyed at her because I would make her come on these walks and I'm kind of be like hanging, like talking to her in my head and like pretend, like I would get into a conversation with her or whatever. You know, she was like mildly interesting sometimes. Anyway, I would get annoyed at her. Like,

as if she was invading my space. Like you shouldn't be on my family walk and I know you're not real and you piss me the fuck off and I actually don't like the name Rebecca. Point blank. Like I just thought it was a name that I wish I had and I don't remember why but Rebecca, Rachel, Lauren to me as a kid were like pretty girl names. I didn't know a single person with those names. I just in my head that was like gospel. But anyway, what was my point? I had an imaginary friend. I hated her. I couldn't get rid of her but I also could never really summon her to play with me. Like she was like always there but not.

It's starting to sound ill, but it wasn't. It really wasn't. But my point was, now I've remembered, me and my friends used to make imaginary boyfriends at sleepovers and stuff. And I remember sitting there with the girl that I grew up with. She'd be like, let's make imaginary boyfriends. And I'd be like, yeah. Like, it was so fun, like, creating a sim or, like, making a Moshi Monsters account. Like, yeah, let's make imaginary boyfriends. Like, that's as far as it went for me because I really was not interested in men. As a child especially, like, barely now, but, like, God forbid, at 10. Like...

I was not feeling it, but I really didn't know, I didn't understand. So I would try and make imaginary boyfriends. And I believed that the archetype of boy that I should like was blonde, beachy, surfer,

guy, right? And to me, that was like the attractive boy. Again, didn't know any boys that looked like this, but that was what I thought, that I thought that was the rule. And so I would try and create him. And he always looked a lot like Zack and Cody, both of them. More Zack than Cody, although I think maybe I

Can't remember which one is which. The skinnier one, I'll say it. All right, we're all thinking it. That was the one that I always tried to make my imaginary boyfriend look like as a child because I thought that was like the archetype of like, that's where you should date. I don't know why. And I always hated him too because, because, um, I don't know. I couldn't bond with him. I don't know. I, and it's like, I look back and I'm like, why do you just make yourself a fucking Sarah, Sarah Barker, Baker, whatever the fuck her name was. Why do you make yourself a Sarah Baker? Glee.

Clearly that's what you were into bitch. I was fighting demons and the demons was just actually myself. So what was my point? Why did I just tell you guys all that? Oh, I think actually my point was isn't it weird how like I don't know if that's universal experience I feel you might be niche But I know that a lot of like girls who are figured out that they're gay and like later life who didn't just always know have had that experience of like

trying so hard to give a fuck about a boy and creating like imaginary boyfriends and just not actually fucking like arguing with them but then again I imagine Rebecca and I fought with her as well or Rachel whatever the fuck I called her I did not like either of them it's just weird that I forced myself to like fall in love with this imaginary boy that I made in my head I used to pick at school who I was gonna have a crush on I never had a real crush on any of the boys except this one boy weirdly like weirdly I was obsessed with him but in

In hindsight, the only reason I was obsessed with him is because... Well, I did genuinely have a crush on him. I genuinely did have a crush on him. Because I feel that feeling now sometimes towards people. And I'm like, that's so embarrassing. And I felt that for him. But more to the point, my best friend, who was a girl, who was really pretty, was dating him. Some may say it was jealousy. And it wasn't the most...

heterosexual form. You know what I'm saying? But I did genuinely also have a crush on him but I think those things fed each other. That was an exciting period of my life. I think that was the last time I was like happy was when I had a crush on that boy. And you know what I remember one time? I remember it was Halloween and

I was trick or treating with some of my friends and I was like, "Guys, we have to go to this boy's house." Because I was obsessed with him and I wanted to see him and obviously I knew where he lived and I lived like down the street from him. Actually, I didn't live that close to him. We walked a while to get to him but it was all... It was nothing insane but anyway, I made my friends show up at his house at like 4pm on Halloween in like witch outfits. 'Cause that's sexy, I guess. And I remember his mum opened the door and I was like, "Oh, is he here?"

Ugh, wish I could do that now. Honestly, what a genius fucking plan. Hey, I'm not crazy for showing up to your door. It's Halloween. Look around. Look around, read the room. It's Halloween. Everyone's doing it. It's a complete coincidence that I showed up to your house. I've knocked on 50 doors. Hey, what makes you think you're special? It's literally the first door I knocked on. I walked straight here, okay? I'm going home after this.

I'm like thinking now because I'm filming this before Halloween. Halloween hasn't happened yet and I'm like well all I have to do is obtain the address and then it's good. Something tells me that not everyone opens their door to trick-or-treaters. Is it also I'm a grown woman? That just clicked. I can't go trick-or-treating. Oh yes I can. She's behind you. Yes I can.

I can. I really want to. I actually genuinely, like, jokes aside, I really want to go trick-or-treating in New York because I have heard that it's, like, the best place to go. But I'm not gonna lie, I want to go trick-or-treating in LA just because I want to see it. Like, I have not been trick-or-treating...

since maybe I was like 10 and in the UK trick-or-treating is so fucking shit like it's so boring if you have a street of 50 houses 10 of them will have like a pumpkin outside and my mom always told me if they don't have a pumpkin outside you can't go knock on their door they don't want you there so you would only go to houses with pumpkins and they were like

few and far between especially where I grew up and like in American movies you see like a big residential street with all these kids walking up and down all these lights and these decorations and like it's like busy and full literally doesn't happen in the UK like you might walk past a few other people doing it but it's it's just not fun and it's fucking freezing too it's like very very very very cold by Halloween and then your mum would make you put like a fucking puffer jacket over your cool outfit and it's like bitch no one's gonna be scared of me now

I spent nine pounds on my fucking witch outfit and you're telling me to put my pink puffer jacket on top of it? Do you hate me? And why? Why do you hate me? You know? That was always tough as a kid. And then I haven't been trick-or-treating since because it's shit in the UK and also I just guess I'm too cool for school really. Sometimes I say things and I try and put a reason to the things that I say like yeah I don't trick-or-treat and it's like oh why? And it's like because I think I'm better than that. Like I don't

There's nothing else. I think I've decided I'm too cool and embarrassed to do that. Because really and truly, if you want to trick-or-treat, you just can. Especially at this age. Like, no, I could put on a fucking cool outfit and go trick-or-treating. I'm a girl. I could do it. I don't know if boys my age can do it. I feel like that might. Like, if they're in a group with girls, maybe, I would be uncomfortable. If a group of boys any older than, like...

17, showed up at my door without women present on Halloween. Actually, I would be terrified. Actually, I would literally call the police. So, but I feel like I could pull it off. Also, I'm literally five. I don't want to tell you guys how tall I am because I'm six foot four, but I'm not actually that, again, I can't tell you that I'm not tall because that would just be a lie. I'm hugely tall, but my height, as large as it is,

and substantial as it is, could be, red is also childlike, complicated how that, you can have both, it's just complicated, just trust me. Anyway, I feel like if I just put a mask on, or like, did face paint, like, I would pass for a child, like, in the right outfit. Like, if I put on like a full-on fucking mask, one of those plastic scary ones, who's to say that's not...

every other 10 year old on the street, you know? Okay, I'm gonna shut the fuck up now. Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Pretty Lonesome. I have no idea what I talked about. I'm swinging these keys around as if I'm about to drive anywhere. Me with my fucking permit. I'm gonna wait for my friend to get back in the car and drive me home. Yes, thank you. Alright, thank you for watching this week's episode of Pretty Lonesome. I love you guys so much. I'm gonna go get dinner now. I'm gonna go get Jono and Vinny's, which is this place they have in LA and it's basically just delicious pasta. And then I'm gonna get Go Greek, which is a type of frozen yogurt. No one cares.

what I'm gonna have for dinner but I'm gonna tell you anyway love you so much and I'll see you next week same time same place on pretty lonesome bye bye love you bye

Chase Freedom Unlimited rewards all that you are with cash back on every purchase. We've built a life together collecting vintage items that connect us to the Black community and our vibrant heritage. This is Kiana Stewart. And I'm Jana Handy. We're partners in life and in business. With Freedom Unlimited, adding antiques to our collection is

even more rewarding. How do you cash back? Learn more at chase.com slash freedom to be. Restrictions and limitations apply. Offers subject to change. Cards are issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member FDIC. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet.

The Shop Pay feature even boosts conversions up to 50%. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout top brands like all birds use. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash podcast free, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash podcast free to upgrade your selling today.