my teacher hated me
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Right, hey guys, welcome back to this week's episode of Pretty Lonesome. Okay, this week we have a lot to get into because I have been watching The Handmaid's Tale and it has reminded me of the most insane period of my life, the most unreasonable thing that's ever happened to me ever, the most unjust...

an unfair thing that's ever happened to me. And now I have to tell everybody, okay? Because this is the issue with giving people like me a platform is I have never got over anything, which means I can just rehash my issues with everybody that I have felt like were dealt with unjustly

and just get a bunch of teenagers online to agree with me and validate my experience, okay? So that's the dangers of that. Now let's get into it, okay? Let me just give you a brief background. For those of you who don't know, I missed two and a half years of school because I had some...

pretty unpleasant mental health issues when I was a teenager. And so I left school when I was in the end of year eight, early year nine, I like stopped going. And then I came back halfway through year 11, which for Americans, that is the eighth grade or the end of the seventh grade, early eighth grade till the midway through 10th grade. So that's like important years of schooling, right? And in the UK, those years are when you study for exams called GCSEs and you take your GCSEs at the end of 10th grade or year 11.

So I missed all that. But I come back right before exam season and I'm like, hey, I want to sit my exams and get my qualification because if I don't do it now, I'm never going to do it. And they were like, OK, but you haven't been in school, correct? I had been in school. I've been in a school for I had been in the asylum school down the road. OK, I have been sent there to the asylum school. But that's

So that's not counted quite the same as regular school. So although I have been in education, it was not like education that means you can just like sit exams with the rest of the kids that have been in state school the entire time. Okay, because it's not the same thing. You have not been learning at the same pace or anything. Like I went to school two days a week. Okay, you guys know I used to fucking get taken to school in a taxi. I was like, oh, what's that girl from Skins?

when she gets taken to the disorder clinic in that black taxi. That was me. They used to pile me in the back of this taxi every morning. Then we'd go pick up other kids. I don't know why there wasn't a school bus. It was always taxis. And we'd go pick up other kids.

everyone at the school was extremely unwell but it was like uh it wasn't what you would kind of expect like there was no like um like there weren't people with like eating disorders or like very like like it wasn't what you would almost think it was people who had such severe um

um social anxiety that they couldn't even look at you and they would literally walk around with their fucking eyes shut right and people who would just shut down completely and really it was for it was a lot of people who just could not communicate and uh wouldn't look up from the desk like there was no socializing there was no anything everybody was completely inside of themselves at this it was actually like one of the worst places I have ever been it was very upsetting to be in there um

And it was just two rooms. The entire school was two rooms. It was crazy. And it was just all kids my age. No one ever said a word. And I would just sit there and have panic attacks for like six hours until my mom would come and pick me up. But yeah, they would take me in a fucking taxi. That was always weird because that is not a pleasant experience for kids who are dealing with extreme panic and anxiety. No kid like that wants to be in a fucking taxi, especially with other kids who are also panicking. Like that just doesn't work for anybody. But that was what they would

do and the teachers at the school were actually amazing because they were all trained in like mental health treatment and stuff so it was pretty cool um but yeah I fucking hated that place not cool not cool I was there for two years but point being okay so I miss most of my important education then I rock up back at my original school halfway through year 11k kids are about to sit their exams and

And I'm like, hey, can I sit those exams? And they're like, no, bitch, you're going to pull our grade average down. Like you haven't been taught anything in two and a half years. And I was like, I don't care. Let me do it. Anyway, my mom had to beef the school board for like a couple months and like take it up to heights and talk to people aggressively through email. But we end up winning the case, okay? And they let me back into the school. And everyone is kind of like, oh, this bitch is going to fail, whatever. I studied my...

tiny flat little bum off for like six months or whatever. I don't know. Year 11 is not even that long. For like three months. And I ended up getting passes in most things. But in English literature, weirdly enough, I got an A.

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So, and you can understand, I hadn't been good at anything for a long time. And this was a point in my life where praise didn't come my way very often because there was not much to be praised. Okay, not much of my behavior was praiseworthy at this point.

point in my life so when I got an A and my mom is crying of happiness when I tell you guys my mother had not cried from happiness for me in a long time or maybe ever okay she had cried from uh despair with me as a teenager suddenly we're in the exams hall getting my results and she's crying from joy because I've got an A in English literature so I think okay perfect

Well, then I'll just spend the rest of my life devoted to English literature, okay? It is my logical conclusion. So for the Americans, okay, after you do that in the 10th grade, you have 11th and 12th grade where you do another set of exams called A-levels. You pick three or four subjects to take for these two years. And it's kind of like doing AP classes, right? Kind of different, but kind of the same. So I decide...

one of my choices of subject will be English literature. I hear amazing things about this English literature teacher that I was going to have. I hear that she's kind. I hear that she's a good teacher. I hear that she's passionate. I hear that, mind you, I hear all this from one of those girls who was a netball girl, okay? She was the PE teacher's favorite, okay? This is who I'm hearing this from about this English teacher. So I'm thinking it might not be true,

Anyway, I regardless turn up on the first day. I'm eager eyed. I'm ready to go. Yeah. She looks at me and it's very much, you know, in like cartoons when a character looks at another character and it's like a close up of their eyes and then their eyes like narrow and then they like fist fight. That's kind of what she did to me. And I think, oh, that's that's weird. Anyway, we get off on the wrong foot immediately. But I don't know why. I'm just looking at her like, why do you fuck? You don't like me. And I don't like when people don't like me. OK, that doesn't sit well with me. Two weeks after that.

I have nothing short of a bomb go off in my personal life, okay? And I'm going to really condense this one because this is one of those stories we don't talk about online. But all I'm going to say is my school bag becomes a hostage in this crazy boy's house. Now, when I say crazy boy, again, really condensed story because we're not getting into this online. But the last time I'd seen this boy, he had thrown knives at me, okay? So...

I had left my school bag there with an essay in it that I had handwritten. So I'm like, hey, miss, really sorry to do this to you so early on in the school year. But my school bag, and I say, how do I say this? My school bag is stuck somewhere and I can't go back there. I'm going to try to get my friend to go pick it up, but I couldn't get it before school today. And

And it sounds like I'm pulling excuses out my ass. Like, my dog ain't my fucking homework. So she looks at me and she's like, I'm going to need that fucking essay, bitch. I'm going to need that fucking essay. And I was like, oh, shucks. Because he has my bag. And I can't go there. Because he's literally, literally going to murder me. So I was like, okay. And mind you guys, this wasn't on my boyfriend. We can't get into it, actually, online. Oh my god, law. Anyway, so she already fucking hates me. I'm already looking like I haven't done my fucking homework.

It just gets worse. It gets worse and worse and worse. Anyway, I'm like failing this class. Six months in, I'm failing. One time, she circled something in one of my essays and just put the note as, this is irrelevant. But thank you for the constructive criticism. Love it.

it. I really feel like I know what to do better next time now, you fucking bitch. Guys, I hate this woman, okay? One day I ask her, I'm like, hey miss, could I please grab some of your time after school today to go over the notes on my essay that you've left that are completely point black, fucking useless. I didn't say it quite like that, but she says, yeah, meet me in my office after school. Perfect, thank you. So I get out of my last class, it's like 3.05pm, and I walk down to English block, which...

takes a minute, right? I'd got out my class a little bit late. I rock up to her office like five minutes past three or like seven minutes past three, okay? Now her last class would have finished at three on the dot because she was probably teaching like year sevens or some shit. So I walk in and her head does a 360 spin

Yeah. Then her shoulders move. She goes like this. Where were you? I came straight here after my lesson ended. What? Seven minutes past three. You've just wasted my time. Guys, I fucking kid you not. She turns to me. She looks me dead in the eye. She says, I detest you for that. I have never said words more true. Okay? And that is important to keep in mind for what I'm about to tell you happen next. Yeah? She looks me in the fucking face. She says, I detest you. She...

picked the word detest, looked me in my eyes and said, I detest you. Now this made me cry. Because remember, I'm 16. And I'm like, what the frick? You're my teacher. That is not nice. Now I'm a pussy, okay? I can't deal with confrontation to my face. I can't. Yes, I was seven minutes late. I'm sorry, but I just feel like it doesn't warrant you detesting me. ♪

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I'm like, okay, that's upsetting. So I'm like, I don't know. I don't say much because I can't speak when I'm about to cry. And I remember I walked out the class and I caught up with my friend who was like walking away. And I caught up with her and I like tapped her on the shoulder and I burst into tears. Like the kind of tears that you would cry when you got hurt as a kid. You know, when you like can't breathe and you look like a fucking idiot.

Okay, and I haven't cried like that since I was like three years old. But I burst into those kind of tears because they're like panic tears, right? Like you got kind of scared like as a kid. Anyway, I burst into those kind of tears. This other teacher. Okay, this is where everything went wrong. This other teacher happened to fucking walk past. It's like, man, he was really nice. I think he was like the head of the English block or something. He walks past. He's like, why? Why is she crying to my friend? And he's like, she's like, oh, I don't know. I don't know. So I turn around with my big mouth and I'm like, miss...

she's a fucking bitch. That's not what I said. I said, she's just been like really harsh to me. And he's like, she's been harsh to you. I was like, yeah, don't worry about it, sir. Like, I don't know. Anyway, he like doesn't do anything. But here's the kicker. Okay. So I tell my friend, yeah, she's just said that she detests me. Then I said to my mom, guess what fucking happened today? Miss said she detests me. So my mom being the feisty woman she is,

writes into the school, okay? She writes into like the head of the year. She's like, this fucking teacher told my daughter she detests her. Now, this is completely not with my knowledge, okay? She writes in, she's like, she said she detests my daughter. What the fuck is wrong with her?

My sweet mother, without realizing, had cc'd in or someone along the line somewhere had cc'd in the teacher this is about. Okay? Because there had probably been like an email or two beforehand. And at some point, she gets cc'd in to the email. Okay? Then my mom's there saying, yeah, she said she f***ed the test of my dose. What the f***? Can someone give her like a slap on the wrist, please? That's not very nice. My dose is really upset. Okay? So, m****.

The bitch she is, yeah? She comes in and she holds a meeting. They hold an intervention. It's me, the head of English, Miss ******, okay? The pastoral care for my year group, which is basically like the nice lady that holds you when you cry, that sits in an office that's very warm. And then my head of year. Big meeting, okay? Um...

and they're all sat there and I'm thinking cool well maybe she's gonna say sorry maybe we're gonna like you know address the issues that me and this teacher clearly have like we've been beefing for like four months now it's really weird and like I don't know what's going on no I sit down and they go why did you lie about what miss said to you I look up and one of the teachers in the room is the baddest bitch uh probably I've ever met in my life okay miss Stewart I love you um

She is clearly not fucking with this. She's looking at me like, yeah, this student's not lying. And also, I fucking hate this teacher too. You know what I mean? That's the expression on her face is, this is a load of bullshit. She's looking at me like, just say sorry. Just like, let's just not be in this room with this bitch right now. That's how she's looking at me. Okay. But she's not saying it out loud.

So I'm like, I don't know how to play my cards here right now. Because if I say sorry, I'm admitting that I've lied about what you said. I never lied about what you said. Also, I didn't even want you to get in any trouble. I was just telling people what you fucking said. I wasn't the one that wrote the email. I wasn't the one that wrote the email. I don't care to get you in trouble. I was just like repeating the truth to my friends and my family because you fucking upset me, bitch. Also, I'm a teenager. What is your problem with me?

And then she was like, sat there with like this puppy face on, like as if she's about to cry. Like, I just don't know why you would say that about me. Like I would never, ever, ever tell a student that I detest them. You were late to my meeting. And so I made it known that that behavior wasn't okay. But shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. I was getting so mad. She was doing the whole, I would, I would never.

never speak about a student this way. Bitch, I will fucking rip your pasta chain necklace off your neck. I will shove it down your fucking throat. I wanted to kill her. Anyways, I never apologized. You know what I did do instead? Like the bad bitch that I am, I stood up, cried and walked out. That is my resolution for most things. Just cry and leave. That is to this day about as good as it gets when it comes to conflict resolution with me. But

But yeah, I ended up just kind of staring at them. They were like, you just need to say sorry. Like you two need to apologize to each other and we can all move on. And I said, I'm not saying sorry. And then I left and no one called me back. And that was as far as we ever got. Anyway, I had two years with this girl, two years in her classroom. The disparity, I want to make this clear, how bad a bad teacher can be. I had two different teachers there.

for English literature. And in those two different classes, we were learning different sets of books for different sets of exams. So it's almost like two completely different classes. The grades don't overlap, okay? In the class with her, I think I got something like a U, which is ungradable. For in the UK, I don't even know if they do that anymore. They used to have a U for ungradable. That's how bad your work is. This literally doesn't go fucking low enough on the grading scale for us to even give you a letter on this piece of shit.

That's what I got in her class. Are you in my other teacher's class? Who is a lovely lady. Loved her. Yeah. Got B. You fucking bitch. I will genuinely to this day. I will fucking tweet. I hope I bump into her one day. I hope I do.

so anyway we I complained about this from this point forth I said okay well you made it public you had to snitch to the school but well technically it was my mom but I was like okay well you're gonna like call intervention on me so it's war like it was war from that day on so I just kept complaining about her and I just like did worse and worse in her classes gave less of a fuck about Handmaid's Tale that we were reading at the time uh to this day couldn't tell you one theme from the Handmaid's Tale I did not like there

There was nothing. She got nothing from me in those classes, which was to my own detriment. But I was 16 and I didn't know that. So I just thought, yeah, fuck you. I'm not going to read your stupid book, bitch. Babe, that's your grade. Okay, that's your grade, actually. Point being, I never ended up learning The Handmaid's Tale. So now I'm watching it as an adult and I'm shocked. And I was watching it and... Well, I remember I did learn some of The Handmaid's Tale when I was...

in that English literature class because actually the series was coming out when I was doing my A-levels so there was like one or two seasons of the show already out and I remember I tried to watch them as like an easy get out from reading the book but she was like it's not close enough to the book for you guys to be lazy bitches and just watch the series you have to read the book and I was like

So only I ever watched like two or three episodes. But I remember at the time, I remember at the time that I watched the first few episodes of Handmaid's Tale when I was 16, I remember thinking this would never happen. Like this isn't that scary. And that's partly because my worldview was extremely limited. Okay. And I was 16. I didn't watch the news and TikTok didn't exist. So I had very little comprehension of current world events at that point in time. So I was not that concerned about politics because it was...

not being taught to me at school or through my phone and I was not seeking it out myself via news sources. So me watching something like The Handmaid's Tale at 16 was not all that concerning. I was like, okay, well, this is a fantasy, right?

And obviously now I'm a little bit older and wiser and we have apps like TikTok that whether you wish to consume it or not, you will be fed information about politics. And it is almost unavoidable to not have some kind of an idea of some of the current world events that are going on. Obviously, some are much more televised than others, but it's hard to not at least have some kind of worldly knowledge at this point, right?

If you are of a certain age and you're online, like that's just the point blank period. But like I at this point when I was 16, like my only social media was Instagram and I was just looking at my friends posts. Like it wasn't when there's no algorithm and like you're not getting fed videos that aren't just from your friends, which previously in my life, that was the only social media I had was I'm only seeing my friends Instagram only seeing my friends Instagram.

I didn't have TikTok. I was never on Vine and I never had Musical.ly. So it's like, where was I getting any kind of any other input? There was none. Honestly, blissful. I was literally just going online and seeing like where my friends had been over the weekend. That's crazy, isn't it? Like that's actually so crazy. And I wasn't like a big YouTube girl either. So it's like I really, oh my God, take me back.

But like, I've rewatched The Handmaid's Tale over the last like two or three weeks. And I've been binge watching it, but I'm only in season three. And I have not been enjoying watching it. And I'll tell you why. And it's because it is so close to happening. It is so close to happening, guys.

And not in the way that they pan out because there's so many flaws that I think when I watch something like The Handmaid's Tale, I watch it and I'm like, okay, but if, you know, if it wasn't a religious issue and it was just a genuine issue of there is no more fertility or there's no more fertile people and we are going to use the very few existing fertile women to reproduce en masse, it wouldn't look like a good Christian home, right?

where the women know their place and the men rule the world. I believe it would look more like pig farming. I believe it would look more like pig farming. So it's like, in that sense, it's not that scary because I just don't see...

why it would ever reflect much of like if if if we were to find ourselves in that situation and that was the government's response was breed the women uh i think it would happen i don't doubt that but i just think it would happen in a worse way you know anyway um that is my that is my story about why i never fucking learned that i made still i guess honestly i just wanted to like bitch and moan about that one teacher because what the fuck was wrong with her

But yeah, guys, I'm actually very nervous right now because I am late. Like I'm late to get to the airport already. Like I'm sat in my bed fucking filming this podcast episode right now.

And I still have to shower because I don't smell good. Full transparency. And I have to shower. I have to pack my bag. My bag's not packed. FYI. I'm just like going to take everything that I ordered from the internet, which is still in a box at my house. I'm like, fine, I'll just transfer it into my little stupid carry-on bag. But I have to shower. I have to pack and then I have to go. And what time is it now? It's like five. My flight leaves at 10 and I'm two hours from the airport right now.

So that's fine. I think I have enough time. If I don't, no one's getting the Nigeria vlog. It's fine. I'm

I'm fine. I'm not stressed. I'm leaving my house in a complete pigsty. Like it's actually fucking unacceptable the way this house looks right now. I didn't know that rotten peppermint tea could produce such a smell. But I like made myself a cup of peppermint tea and then I went out for two days. Okay. And I left it on the side like on my bed night table. And I came back in my room. I said...

what fucking died in here? Okay, who died in here whilst I was gone? And I'm like doing some investigation from then I see from the corner of my eye, my fucking peppermint tea. And I knew immediately because I'm very familiar with the smell of rotten tea. Okay. But it's like that but like worse, like significantly worse and more like

pungent and sour, you know? And I see it sat there. I was like, oh my god. And I was so scared to even go throw it in the sink because I was like, I don't even want to get fucking... I don't even want to touch the cup this is and it smells so bad. But it's like it didn't grow mold. It was literally two days old, but it fucking stank like shit. Oh guys, you want to see? This is no fun if you're not watching the video, but I got these. Oh my god, I'm so excited. I...

decided now that I'm like fully committed to bar and Pilates that I am did I tell you guys about my bar classes by the way I've started doing bar and in my class it's just me and like 50 year old women which is my ideal scenario by the way because

Working out with girls my age is so fun, but there is an element of anxiety that that can give you as well if you're not friends with the girls. Like, it can just be a bit intimidating to walk into a room full of people your own age that you're not friends with. Like, that's... Duh, it's fucking scary. And so...

now that I'm like living back in the UK not that I ever fucking left the UK but like I was I started to work out in LA right where people are chatty like you can walk into a room full of strangers and everyone's gonna talk to you maybe that's just not actually a general experience but like at

Aloe Pilates, okay? Everyone knows about fucking aloe. Everyone's gonna talk to you. So I had very good experiences. It was very easy. Most of the friends that I have in LA are like girls that I met at aloe, right? Because it's like the best place to fucking meet people. And they're so sweet. Every aloe girl that I've ever met is sweet. Almost. But

when I'm like back here in the UK like trying to do a fucking workout class I'm like it's not I don't think it's the same vibe like I'm gonna walk into a room full of people my age and they're all gonna be like what the fuck and also who are you and also get the fuck out of our Pilates class like that's my fear is that they're gonna be like you're not welcome here this is our class basically what I'm saying is no one ever liked me in PE at school and I hold that trauma uh like a shield and

And I just don't go near anything that could possibly trigger it. You know what I mean? Because the way I was treated in PE classes at school was actually feral. Guys, one time in PE class, actually, I'm lying. It was not PE. It was drama.

I got trampled on. And that is some kind of like Roderick Heffley. Is it Roderick? That's the small one. Anyway, one of the Heffley brothers, the pathetic small one. Diary of a Wimpy Kid, that one. That's a scene that would happen to him. You know what I mean? And me and him at school, we have a lot in common. But one day I was in this like drama class at school and we were doing some like fucking stupid ass exercise where we had to run from one wall of the classroom to the other and back again. But I think we were doing it like an animal thing.

or some shit, like, run like a cat, run like a dog, like, it's so fucking dumb, right? Anyway, it's like year seven, too, so they're like, hey, run from one wall to the other, and I start running, and I trip on something, and I fell down, and guys, I'm not kidding you, the kids literally ran over the top of me. Hilarious, like, absolute, like, I don't blame them for that, because that was fucking funny. Not for me, but it was funny, you know? Um,

I was never like treated poorly at school really and when I was treated poorly it was like kind of just never that bad like at school by the other kids they just almost acted like I wasn't real and I get it I get it I was I get it you know what I mean but anyway I got these leggings from Lululemon and they're the short oh my god this is like a fucking brand deal it's not

Okay, but they're... What the fuck are they? They're low-rise flares. Because I already have a pair of the high-rise flares, but I wanted a pair of the low-rise. Because now I'm a...

certified workout girl. See, the thing is, I never buy myself gear for my stupid little hobbies because my hobbies are so short-lived. Like one time, guys, I started felting, like furiously felting. We don't know what fucking felting is. Google it, okay? And I bought so much felting equipment. Like, and I, one time, I actually attended, okay, like a miniature felting festival. I was obsessed. I was like, I must learn all the tricks.

And I even went to a class. Like, what the fuck? It's felting. It's not that... Actually, it is very hard. But I had so much stuff. I had all different types of fucking needles, pillows. The amount of felt that I owned at one point was indicative of a severe mental illness. Like, it was insane. ♪

Anyway, I also got these ones, the capri ones. They're meant to be capris, but I'm not convinced. But they're highway, so I'm like, maybe if I yoink them up the whole fucking way, they will be capris. But then, then we risk camel toe territory, okay? And that makes me uncomfortable. It really does. I don't know what it is, but like...

I don't know if anyone else can relate to this. And I don't know if it's something I actually even want to put online, but I'm gonna do it anyway. When I have to become aware that I have a... I hate to even admit this online, because all you guys can do is conspire unless I confirm it, okay? But when I have to remember that I have a vagina, I'm confirming it now. Like, I hate that you guys know that I even have one of those. So embarrassing. But like, when I have to actually acknowledge it and like...

God forbid you have to like get a camel toe in your fucking leggings and

And I have to be like, oh yeah, people are going to know I have a fucking vagina. I don't know what it is about that that drives me deranged. Like the way I will behave under that kind of duress is absurd. And it is not that I want any other kind of genitalia. No, this is much preferred. But like it is just like this deep down feeling of discomfort that I even have any kind of private body part.

I hate that. I hate that. I hate that everyone has it. I hate that everyone knows about those things. Like I am so, I'm one of those people that gets cringed out really easily. And it's a quality I hate about myself because I like want to make people feel really comfortable all the time. But God forbid you even say the word effeminate.

F-A-R-T in front of me. Ah, I can't be friends with you anymore because I don't want to know that you do that. Like, it's so bad, guys. And I don't even know where I came from because I come from the most liberal family where people just like nudist, complete nude, naked, all girls household. Like, seriously, I come from nudists. And I am the biggest, is the word prude offensive? I hope not. Like, I absolutely detest

that people know I have flesh I get so embarrassed about it okay and it's like I don't know why because like like like for example I I even to this day have shame and it's really bad and I'm trying to like fucking unpack it and deal with it and I acknowledge that it's bad but like even like to admit that I get a period sometimes I'm like can't do that I can't you know

And like, it's so weird. And I don't know where it came from. Anyway, the other thing that I got is this pink tennis dress. Cute, right? But it has one of these built-in bras, which I fucking hate. I fucking hate them. And I'll tell you why. Guys, they never fit my boobs because my boobs are so small. Here I am telling you all these things. Well, at first I told you I have a vagina. Now I'm telling you I've got small tits as if we weren't all aware. But like...

The thing is, I love my small boobs. I just, I hate when clothes come with a pre-built bra. Bitch, I own a fucking bra. Okay, if I want to wear one, I will. Why do you have to put it in my dress for me? I'm not fucking incapable. Jesus. And there's such a thing as a strapless bra. Okay, if the issue is the straps, I'll deal with it. Stop making fucking choices for me. I hate you. But I love Lululemon. Again, not a brand deal. Just not trying to shoot myself in the foot here. Oh, it says there's shorts on the inside. That's

That's good. Also, do you guys want to know a crazy revelation that me and my friend had like the other day? Well, she had it and she shared it with me. So she was, she, funny story. My friend went for an ADHD assessment about a year ago. And while she was in there, the assessor, and I don't know if this is unethical of him, but the psychologist basically looked at her and was like, I know you came here for an ADHD assessment, but are you aware that you like actually definitely have autism? And she was like, what?

And he was like, yeah, you should get tested for autism. But like, you've got autism. And so she was like, okay, fuck. So she gets tested for autism and sure as hell, she's got it. Okay. And she was like, but it makes no sense to me. Right. She's talking to the lady and she's like, but I don't have sensory issues though.

Because like, okay, there's more to autism than sensory issues for sure. But she was like, but I just like, I don't see she was like listing off these common traits. And she was like, I don't have sensory issues as one of the many things that she was saying, but I don't have this. I don't have this. She gets the sensory issues. She says, I don't have sensory issues. And the woman's like, okay, well, do you hate the way clothes feel on you ever? Do you ever have issues with, you know, your t-shirts or your shoes?

My friend said, no, I've never had that in my life. Okay, do you not like loud places? She went, I could get a bit annoyed by them, but I don't really mind it. It's not going to make me uncomfortable. And she says, okay, bright, bright lights, anything like that. My friend says, no, I don't mind any of this. And then the assessor says something that changed both of our lives. She said, and what about smell? Why did I...

fucking realize that smell is a sense. Of course it is. So my friend comes to me. She's like, dude, fucking smell is a sense. Of course. And when I tell you,

I am like a fucking hound. I'm like a hound. There is the slightest bit of a smell of food in public. Oh, I'm nauseous or extremely appetized, most often nauseous. OK, I cannot sleep if there is even a slight scent of food in the room. I can deal with most candles, but like if there is food or drink that I can smell in a bedroom,

Yeah, no, I'm going to lay there and writhe in anger for hours. And it's like, and also like, okay, sense of smell is one of your strongest senses. I learned that off Atypical. It's one of the strongest senses that we have.

Um, so that's for everybody, right? It's like, that's gonna smell as an intense experience for everybody. But it didn't ever occur to me how overwhelmed I get by smells so fucking easily. Like to the point that I feel anger and extreme discomfort and like,

It made so much sense to me. I was like, oh my God, what? I never, I'm not like, I was like, I just don't know why I wasn't thinking that smell is a sense. It just never occurred to me because like, I can't feel it. So I was like, it's not a sense. But yeah, smells is sense. So that's interesting because my friend got, got diagnosed with it and that's how she learned that smell is a sense.

Anyway, I have to go pack a bag. I have to go to Nigeria. I will see you guys next week and I'll have something. Next week, I will have something really funny to tell you guys, but you don't know what it is yet and neither do I because it hasn't happened yet, but I will have something really funny to tell you next week. Please come back. Okay, I'm going to go away now. All right, I love you guys. Thank you for watching this week's episode of Pretty Lonesome. Bye.