cover of episode Madi & Grant Troutt | Girls Gone Bible

Madi & Grant Troutt | Girls Gone Bible

2024/8/30
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参与讨论创建“自由派的Joe Rogan”
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Ari: 在前往节目录制现场的途中,她注意到路边的广告牌传递出负面信息,暗示黑暗和压抑,这让她感受到洛杉矶的氛围沉重压抑,与其他加州城市不同。 Ange: 她们非常欣赏 Madi 对她们生活的影响,以及她对信仰的忠贞和坚持。她们也欣赏 Grant 的真诚和随和,以及他们夫妻二人在信仰上的合一和真诚。 Grant: 他分享了他从年少时感受到上帝的存在,到后来经历运动受伤、迷失自我、吸毒酗酒,最终在大学时期寻求上帝帮助,并经历了信仰的转变和挣扎的过程。他描述了在信主后经历的严重恐慌症,以及他如何通过祷告、冥想和背诵经文来对抗恐惧和邪恶势力,最终战胜了焦虑和恐慌。他还谈到了在婚姻中,他与妻子 Madi 如何互相支持和鼓励,以及社区和朋友对他的帮助。 Madi: 她分享了她对婚姻的看法,以及她如何通过信靠上帝来克服焦虑和强迫症。她认为精神健康问题并非都源于罪恶,也可能源于其他因素。她还谈到了她在婚姻中学习顺服和牺牲,以及她如何通过与上帝的亲密关系来更好地爱她的丈夫。她强调了在婚姻中保持纯洁的重要性,以及如何通过沟通和互相支持来克服挑战。

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Grant Troutt shares his personal journey of faith, from finding his identity in sports to battling addiction and anxiety, and ultimately finding solace and purpose in his relationship with Jesus. He emphasizes the importance of surrendering to God's plan, even amidst struggles, and highlights the transformative power of faith in overcoming adversity.
  • Grant's early life was marked by a strong identification with sports.
  • Injuries and the subsequent loss of his athletic identity led Grant down a path of substance abuse.
  • A pivotal moment of clarity and a divine encounter with a pastor sparked Grant's spiritual awakening.
  • Grant openly discusses his struggles with panic attacks and anxiety, emphasizing his unwavering faith in Jesus even during difficult times.
  • Grant emphasizes the importance of daily spiritual practices, such as meditation and prayer, in renewing his mind and strengthening his faith.

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I thought you were doing it today. No, go ahead. Okay, let's do it over. Okay. Sorry, guys. We're keeping all that in, by the way. We do this every time. Love it. I love it. Every time. A year later. The bloopers are the best part. A year later. I love your bloopers. Hi, guys. I'm Ange. And I'm... I'm sorry. One more time. That's okay. Hi, guys. I'm Ange. And I'm Ari. And this is Girls Gone Bible. We are a faith-based podcast where we talk all things spirituality, mental health, Jesus, the Bible, and everything to do with life. Today...

Thank you, Jesus. Hallelujah. We have our friends, Maddie Pruitt Trout and Grant Trout in the studio today. Let's go. In the studio. It's good to be here. We love you guys so much. Okay, the journey to get here, y'all. Be honest. Be honest. Coming in hot. What did you guys just go through trying to get here? Our marriage was tested for a second. It was. We had a few moments. I was like, will you forgive me? We did. We had to ask for forgiveness multiple times. To each other? To each other. Oh, yeah. We do need that.

And then we repented to the Lord. The marriage. Yeah. Like, Lord, bless this podcast, please. It just means it's going to be amazing. It's going to be good. It's going to be a good podcast. Oh, my gosh. That's so good. I'm so happy you guys are here. I'm happier in California. We love you. It's good to be here. We love you guys, but I don't know how you live here. But to God be the glory. To God be the glory.

How do you guys feel being here, by the way? Do you feel just kind of tired? What's up? Tell them about all the signs we passed by because it was crazy. I know Dallas is dark, too. Dallas is dark? It is. Not really. Not compared to LA. The three big signs I saw on the way here, movies. One movie said, it was the movie title, and then underneath it, it said, embrace the darkness, fear the light.

And I'm just like, dude, how twisted are we? And then the next one I saw was stay quiet, stay alive. And I'm just like, that's what they're trying to push on us right now. And what was the last one? It was like the serpent queen. It was like the bad is good. Or what did it say? It feels so good to be bad. It feels good to be bad. And just like...

You don't realize how much even a sign affects you. The little subliminal messages. Embrace the darkness, fear the light. That's crazy. I'm like, not in the name of Jesus. No. We're like rebuking signs left and right. You know what's so sad? I think we're just so used to it that I probably would have seen that sign. It's just we're so used to how dark it is here. But do you feel it energetically, like in the spirit when you come here, that there's just a heaviness? I do. You know, I almost lived here.

Yeah. I like almost moved here to live with Janine. And then I came here for a week and I was like, something's off. Do you feel the same way in Newport though? No, I love Newport. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, we're staying in Newport. And so it was like over an hour drive, but I love Newport. Newport and well, Santa Barbara. And that's just Santa Barbara. LA is something else. It really is.

but be a light we're called to be a light which y'all are doing so let's go thank you guys so much yeah we want to yeah we want to do more like we want to do events here like we want to bring people together in this city we just don't really know how to go about it yet but we plan on doing it because it's so important they need it they need it there's so many opportunities to serve here too yeah like to serve the community oh absolutely so yeah right and you guys are doing that but we're

I'm just happy to be with y'all. We would drive hours and go through traffic. We're fresh out of the car right here. Like two minutes ago. I know. We actually just ran up the stairs to do this. And we are here. So let's talk about, so if you guys don't know, Maddie's already been on the podcast. You came on with Janine and we heard so much about your story. And like you have been faithful to Jesus your whole life. And I admire you.

more than you know. I respect you more than you know. Like you are a warrior for Jesus and you've done it and you do it. And like, I know. You've made such an impact on our lives. Massive. Well, don't make me cry. We're two seconds in. Yeah. We recorded that podcast and barely knew each other. Barely. And now I'm like, I feel like I've known you guys my whole life.

You are one of my closest friends. You are truly one of my people who, when I need godly counsel, I call Maddie. And there have been multiple times where I call you, and it's not even like you say something that changes my circumstance, but even our conversation somehow changes something in the spirit, and I'm able to move in a way that I wasn't able to prior. You are so special. You're amazing.

We really love you. We love you guys so much. She prays for us in secret. She writes down on her prayer cards for us and our family. And it's just you're a very special person. So lucky to have you. I love y'all. We love you so much. And we have Grant today. Grant Trout. As soon as we met you at IF gathering, I was like, I love this guy. You're so cool. I felt the same way. He says it all the time. He's like, they're the coolest.

I was like, they're amazing. You're the best. No, because it's hard in this space sometimes because especially you're like, you were the youth pastor. I don't know if you still are. What is the church? Harris Creek. Yeah. At Jonathan Pakluta's church. And so when you're in that position, I feel like you can kind of be in a position where you have to act a certain way or be a certain way. And you're so authentic and you're so chill, laid back and just cool, like genuine. I hate that we have to say that in the Christian community, but you're just like the cool person. He's a cool person.

There's no performance with you guys. It's just like, you don't have to force anointing. You don't have to force authority. You just have it. And you guys have that. You don't have to put anything on. And we really, we appreciate that. Yeah. Thank y'all. And we, and we stand so with y'all and by y'all. And just told Maddie on the way, I was just like,

You don't meet real, genuine, authentic people all the time. And that's what we sense with y'all. Yeah. Just so authentic. Yeah. So we appreciate y'all. And he's like, we need to continue to just like pray for you guys because of how God's using y'all. Massively. And knowing that there's going to be like darkness and attacks. And so often we're like, let's pray for them. Yeah.

You guys are so sweet. We're constantly thinking about y'all and praying for y'all. Oh my gosh, you're so sweet. Thank you, guys. So I want to get a little bit into Grant's story. Because you, I think we're very similar in our past and with Ari, where we weren't always following God the way that he intended for us to. And so you've had to go through a lot. And it's taken you a lot to get to where you are in your faith. So if you could just start with that a little bit. Totally. Yeah.

It's been a journey to get to this table right here. I don't know if y'all felt this, but like young age sensed like a sensitivity with the Lord.

And it was like, am I speaking into the mic? I always do that. People do this. Every time I want to stay true. I'm like, babe, talk to the mic. I'm not putting the mic down here. Man, I just like sensed the Lord was with me at a young age, but I never was like, God, I need you. And so parents were Christians. They became new believers when I was probably two years old.

And so I was being raised in kind of this new believer home and sports quickly became identity. And so basketball was like who I was. And I traveled the country and I loved it. And then really at like a seventh grade age, I don't know if y'all can see this, but I got a really bad injury playing football. And that was a moment where I broke this arm. I got a surgery. I was out for eight months.

Eighth grade, had a surgery on my shoulder. I was out for eight months. Ninth grade surgery, this shoulder, out for eight months. Tenth grade surgery on this hip, out for eight months. Body's been through it. Body's been through it. Shout out, man. You've been through enough. You don't need to go through it.

And during that time, my identity was being shaken. And I was like, who am I? Like, who am I? I thought sports was who I was. And so I started smoking weed in eighth grade, started drinking in ninth grade, and just was trying to find life. And it was fun, honestly. Like, it was fun. And I'm not going to look back and say I didn't.

I didn't think I was numbing anything at the time, but now that I see that I was. But really, I was like, if I can play sports and I can be the guy at the party, like that's what life is. All the while, every Sunday in church, hearing the gospel, but I never heard it. I just heard it, but I never was like, God, I need you. And so finally, I kind of make it through high school years and I go play college at UC Santa Barbara. So just up north. And I'm there in Santa Barbara and it was everything I ever wanted.

And I remember sitting in my dorm on the beach

And it was like I felt like I was trying to grip at the ocean. And I was like, why am I trying so hard to find peace and happiness? And this is what I wanted. And it's not here. And I was at a party one time drinking and I was drunk. And all of a sudden I felt this rush of sobriety hit me. And I felt this voice say, Grant, go home. And I walked home to my dorm room and I just called my mom. And I said, Mom, I know who you raised me to be.

I don't know who I am anymore. And she said, Grant, I packed you a Bible in your backpack. And it was this basketball leather bound Bible. Basketball Bible. And I grab it and I was like, God, if you're real, I really need you. And that next day I'm walking to the cafeteria, headphones in, I'm praying, God, if you're real, show me. And Chinese man walks up to me mid-prayer.

And I go, what's up, man? And he goes, hey, this is so weird. I'm a pastor at a local church. I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to join a Bible study. And I was like, yes. I was like, yes. And anyways, that was the beginning of a journey. I ended up losing the sport so that hip I had surgery in high school. I got a career ending hip injury freshman year. So they said you can never play basketball again. So full identity ripped. Yeah.

As I'm meeting with this man, I just start to spiral cocaine, Xanax, drugs, go to jail for a night. And the Lord allowed me to get to a place where I was like, I have nothing. And that is where I just heard the whisper of, I'm with you and I love you and I have a plan for you. And now through the last six years, I have seen...

transformation. And there's a verse in John 9:25 that I love. It's the blind man that was healed and the Pharisees were around him and they're like, "Who was it who healed you?" And finally he was like, "I don't know, but one thing I do know, I was once blind and now I see." And I don't know the full Bible the best way I can. I don't know how to defend everything, but here's what I know. I was once blind and now I see. And Jesus Christ is real.

And it's not religion. It's not, it's not like a show. It's either real or it's not. And that's what I love about you guys and my Maddie is like,

you've either encountered him or you haven't and if you have there's no going back why are we crying right now I mean we are guys I am in tears over here um Jesus because I don't I just like am so grateful and thankful and I don't know why he saved us but he did and we're not perfect but um

Like we're committed to being perfected by him. And so here I am with the godliest girl I know. I don't know why. I never thought I would marry an amazing godly girl. And even to just speak on a platform about Jesus, I'm just like, thank you. And so I know that's probably similar to some of y'all's testimony. And when you gave your life to Jesus, you thought it was like going to create so much ease and peace and everything was going to be perfect. Which we can get into later.

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And I'll never forget it. Panic attacks every single day. And Jesus, I was in my closet and he was like, am I still worth it? And I was like, yes, like, yes, you are. And if I'm in this closet for the rest of the rest, you're still worth it. And he has walked with me through the valley of the shadow of death and

And it's also allowed me to be dependent on him. Life does not get easier with Jesus, but there's an anchor in that storm that I can go through anything with him now. Yeah. Oh, priest. Priest. That just... You got me so into myself. Seriously. I mean, Ari and I have walked through so many of the same things, the panic attacks every day. That's my story. And I feel for you so much because...

I know I have a close friend of mine who had her first panic attack recently. And she literally looked at me and she said, you did this every day for three years. She's like, and she was bawling her eyes out being like, I feel so bad that you dealt with that. And people don't even, you don't know unless you've been through it. I mean, it's like a 24 hour a day panic danger. Something is wrong. I'm not okay. What was your anxiety like? Like take us through because it's,

nobody knows how to put words to what that feels like. Yeah, 100%. First one, I was on multiple different drugs. And so I didn't know it was a panic attack. And then I got sober. And then I was like, okay, I guess whatever that was, was caused by drugs. And then I had a sober panic attack. And that was, and what I've explained to Maddie, she's seen me have one on a plane.

And she saw my legs kind of like shaking and I couldn't really talk. But I was like, hey, can you just hold me right now? And just like we weren't even we're about to get engaged. We were just dating. I was like, OK, this was because, you know, when you hear someone say they really struggle with anxiety, at least for me at that time, I had never seen a physical like manifestation of someone struggling badly with anxiety or panic. And so I kind of was just like, hey, just like renew your mind, you know, think better thoughts like that.

And it's like, I saw in that moment, wow, this is actually out of your control. And it was like something that I was like, I can't fix it. And it's hard to just witness it. But yeah, that was on a plane. And that was a really scary, really scary. So I had one in a car and then I went to the emergency room. Did y'all ever go to the emergency room? Yeah. Cause you feel like you're having a heart attack. Um, and I kind of got like belittled there. It was like, Hey buddy, I think you're a little anxious. And

But I was like, something's happening. And then it led to every day. And then they called it panic disorder, which is your whole day is revolved around trying not to have one. So no planes, no car rides. Public speaking got crippled. Anytime you were like, Grant, pray in front of 10 people, it would start to happen. And what I would feel is my heart would beat so fast. And then my brain is going crazy.

You're not in danger. You're not sprinting fight or flight. And I just felt this claustrophobic and I was just like, I felt trapped. That's how I felt. And what I would tell y'all is like what I have learned through meditation and prayer and renewing my mind in the morning, I will wake up in the morning and sit on the floor of our living room and I'll watch the sunrise every morning. And I'm not praying and I'm not reading the Bible. I'm breathing and I'm just like,

stealing my mind to go, he is God, I am not. And it has renewed my mind, but it's been a journey. And it's why we're taking action steps and saw Dr. Amen. And it's just really cool. I'm like really excited

to people now. And I think the Lord answered a prayer that I said, Father, I want to be more relatable to more people. And that's a dangerous prayer. You said, all right, I'll let you go through. Because he'll allow you to experience pain to do that. Goosebumps, isn't it? But don't you look back at everything you went through in your life and how many people you've had to help behind you from what you've been through? Isn't it incredible? You wouldn't take back one day, right? I wouldn't change it. I know. I truly wouldn't change it. I know.

God, I'm so proud of you. That's incredible. Yeah, thank you. It's been crazy to see, too. I've, like, seen the growth. Yeah. It's been a battle. It's a battle every day. And I feel like I thought there was this world where, like, there will be no more anxiety. But now it's like, okay, hopefully...

But Lord, how do I trust you in it today? And memorizing scripture, the way you fight fear and demonic activity. I think I went from being on my heels to on my toes. And I'm like, it's offensive time. No longer will you mute me. Like Satan wants to mute us. And he's like, be quiet. Fear, fear, fear, fear. And it's like, no, wait, there's someone greater than you inside of me.

I feel scared, but when I'm scared, like I'm putting my trust in the Lord.

Well, what I love too is like you could have easily went back to the pills. You could have easily went back to the drugs and alcohol and you didn't. And so many people need to hear that because they want to numb when the minute they get that feeling, they want to go back to the pills and the drugs or the weed or whatever it is. And you didn't. You just kept fighting through. So that is so important that we talk about that. You know, did you ever have times where you wanted to go back to that to self to numb yourself and you just what do you do in that moment?

Yeah, I did. And there were some lonely nights, you know, where you're like, Lord, is this worth it? And I just remember a decision I made and it was in that closet. And I was just like, Lord, no matter what, like you are worth it and you are better. And when the Bible says when you've tasted and seen that he is good, like you have to say so. And that's where I'm at. I was

I would say without community, it would have been really hard. And so being married now, there are mornings I wake up and I'm like,

I can't do it. And I will tell her, I will say, Maddie, who am I? And she will literally leave me sticky notes on my car as I walk out to work. And it will go, Grant Trout is called, leader, redeemed, chosen. And when you have people that will speak that life over you, that's what keeps you going. Because there's times where you're like, I don't even have the strength to pray. And then you have each other that will be like, just remind me. That's what she did for me. I swear to God.

Yeah. It's so important. We are not meant to be alone through that healing process. We can't. So true. Oh, my goodness. Incredible. It's the weirdest thing because I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, panic disorder, OCD, anxiety.

And I always say like these aren't labels that I identify with. I say OCD used to have a foothold in my life. Now I keep it under my feet because of the blood of Jesus that set me free. But the truth is that when I am vulnerable, when I'm not feeling good, when I haven't slept enough, when I...

And possibly not in right standing with God. When I have any sort of sin in my life, we have these places that we resort back to. And that's mine. Like this OCD obsessive looking for a vice, looking for anything to numb, to suppress. And so, but I do believe that Jesus delivered me. He healed me.

However, I must do my part in staying delivered because I can easily go back. It is just a step away. It is just, I mean, you can't. That's why we are so insane about our relationship with Jesus because we know what the darkness is like. I am so scared to go back there. It's not worth taking one step away from him. Like we're in our mind, like not, and Jenny Allen came on here and she said, she's like, not all mental health issues are from sin.

A lot of them are from sin. And a lot of them are the consequences of our actions, of our parents' actions, of their parents' actions. And so I remember when I stopped drinking because I got sober when I was 23.

I started heavily medicating with alcohol because I was so unwell. I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know the psychological reality or the spiritual reality behind what I was experiencing. And so alcohol was the only thing that made me feel better. And like, I remember I would drink

I was so down bad with the alcohol. And I remember being like, but I don't want to do this. I don't. I don't. And I don't know why I keep doing what I don't want to do, but I just want to feel better. And so Jesus delivered me from alcohol. He delivered me from the anxiety and healed me of everything. Renewing of the mind, reading the Bible, so much prayer, so much intimate time with God. But again,

I can get back there. - 100%. - I can go back there. - Oh, 100%. - It's the daily decisions. And I think as his wife, I even can speak to that too of just, I see him, like he said, get up every single morning, early in the morning. He doesn't hit snooze like I am. He's getting up early, he's getting on his knees,

and he's just sitting with the Lord. He's abiding with the Lord before he even speaks, before he even opens up the word, he's just enjoying God's presence. And you, I've seen that literally transform and renew his mind. Like I've seen that create an authority and a confidence. Like he was talking about where he's not on his heels and he's saying, okay, don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. It's like, no, actually I'm not going to be afraid because he is with

And I know who I am because of who he is. And he's taking this stance of authority, but it is this daily decision. And I think that's what's so important. You were alluding to this, but it's like we were once children of the darkness, but now we're children of the light. We've been set free.

But every single day, we have to crucify our desires. We have to crucify our old passions that used to enslave us, but now get to be our testimony. But we could go back. We could easily go back. But it takes the daily, every single day. And I think people could look at Grant now and be like, wow, you have so much joy and charisma and authority, and you know the Word of God. I just wish I could be there. And I'm like...

he used to be sitting in the closet every single day, scared to get out of his house. But it took the surrounding himself with godly community, depending on the Lord, memorizing and meditating on scripture and doing it every single day. Like he doesn't let a day go by without it. And it's even an inspiration to me where I'm like, there's some days where I'm like, I'm fine, God, we're good, right? Like we're good. But it's like, I see,

And that's why it's so important even to marry a man that I pray for for both of you that just leads spiritually so well because it calls you higher. And I'm like, okay, I need to get on my knees. I need to meditate on Scripture. I need to enjoy the presence of the Lord. But I do love that you spoke to that because it's an everyday decision and everybody has the opportunity to make that decision. Amen. That's good. Yeah.

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this deal is not available on their regular website. Go to h-i-y-a-h-e-a-l-t-h.com slash ggb and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. One thing that we've been talking about is like we're never in neutral. So like if we just wake up, we're never just like...

We're always being pulled back to sin. And so if you're not proactive, if you're not zealous for good works, like you're never just waking up going, if I don't do anything good or bad today, I'm just kind of staying. It's like you're always being deceived. And so if you're not constantly renewing the mind and zealous, and so 2 Timothy 2.22, it says flee youthful passions. That's what we want to do.

flee the old life that we used to live, but pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace. So I think we can do a good job at fleeing. And it's like, don't, don't, don't. But if you're not replacing that with pursue, then I'm looking for good works. I'm looking to get closer. Then that fleeing at some point just turns into like,

being moral or being like religious, but if you're not pursuing that relationship and abiding. And then when you were talking about Jesus in John 5, looked at somebody and he said, do you want to be healed? Meaning there's a response and responsibility on your part. And the guy's like, he's like, well, then stand up.

And so it's the power of Jesus, but it's his response. And people need to take ownership and responsibility for their healing. It's so good. Yeah. Like, like truly. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. Let's all take our mics. No, it's just.

It's just real. Yeah, that is so good. And he lives it out and he believes it. And it is true. It's the faith plus action. It's like we have a response and a responsibility. It's like when the Lord delivers us, it's like, well, we, okay, there was that moment. But then it's where you go from there that matters. It's like that's what creates the constantly moving forward, the deepening of the faith, the deepening of the relationship and where that intimacy is born. Yeah.

It's so incredible. It's like so many of us, we live in this shame of why do I have to deal with this depression? Why do I have to battle this anxiety? But had you hadn't gone through that, you wouldn't have been so dependent on him. Look at you. Look at him. He is a true living testimony. You are so hungry for him because of what you went through. So it's just anyone who's listening to this who goes through depression and anxiety or maybe addiction, don't feel ashamed.

Look at him. Look at all of us. That's why we're so hungry. It's such a beautiful thing. It's beautiful. I always say what I've realized recently is all of the suffering in my life is actually God's grace. He really says to me, I don't want you to suffer. I don't want you to hurt. I don't want you to go through these things, but I do love you so much that I'll never let you forget how much you need me. And it's just such a good perspective to have through the suffering to be like,

Yeah, I did wake up with so much anxiety today, but God, I'm calling out for you, Jesus, and it's worth it. You know, I don't want to wake up apathetic like, oh, yeah, I'm actually good today. So I'm not even going to reach for you. It's like, no, I know every single day, God, I need you. I need you. And what I like, what I love every other religion, their God, um,

It's like their God didn't come down as a servant and a suffering servant. And so in Hebrews 4, it says we don't have a high priest that is unable to empathize with our weakness. It says in every way he's been tested as we are. And I remember having a panic attack and crippled by anxiety. And I was kind of like, why? And like, almost like you don't get it. And Jesus like, why?

whispered to my heart and was like, hey, I had a panic attack so bad I sweat drops of blood. Hey, I was so lonely. All my friends left me in my deepest hour of need. And so for our faith, we have a Savior that in every way is able to empathize because he came down as a man and suffered. And it says he with loud tears and suffering would cry out to God. And that's Hebrews 5. So our Savior understands. Yeah.

And someone needs to hear that. It's like he knows and he's with you and he went through it. And he says in this life, you'll have trouble, but take heart. I've overcome the world. And it says in that Hebrews passage too, one thing I love alluding to what you're saying too is like he learned, it says Jesus learned obedience through what he suffered.

Jesus learned obedience through what he suffered. How much more do we need to suffer in order to learn true obedience? And so what suffering produces is so much greater, I think, than what we'll ever understand on this side of eternity. And I truly believe that one day when we're in heaven, we're going to be like, oh,

you should have let me suffer more. I really do think that because I think that suffering, what it creates is it strips you of all pride. It strips you of all independence. And it says, Lord, I can't do this without you. Like I truly desperately need you. And I think that's what is so beautiful of what suffering creates and produces that we've seen in our life is like, man, I just, I can't go a single day without him. Like I need you every single step of the day. I can't do this without you.

God, it's so good. I adore you guys. You guys are outrageous. You couldn't have said that better. Could we get into a little bit? So you guys are married. How long have you been married? Almost two. Yeah, almost two years. Almost two already? Isn't that crazy? Well, October will be two years. So you're in eight, nine? That's crazy. And you guys got married young.

Maybe not young for the Christian community, but young for the rest of the world. You know what I mean? Like you guys are in your 20s. You guys are, you're young. You have these like beautiful lives and then you get married. And I just, we want to know everything from two single girls, how it's been. Work. It takes work. But it's so good. I want to start just by saying,

It is so beautiful and it is God's design. And Paul in Ephesians 5 says the mystery of marriage is about Jesus and the church.

And that's what we've come to see most is like our marriage. Like we want people to look at our marriage and not see Grant and Maddie, but be like, I want their Jesus. Like I want their Jesus. And we are supposed to be a reflection. And so literally on the way here, she's like, you made us late. And I'm like...

But you, and then we're quiet for five minutes. And then we both went in our own moments. We're like, will you please forgive me? That wasn't loving and that wasn't kind, but that is marriage. And it has made us so close. And the call for me to lay my life down for her is the call. And it's actually like the most beautiful picture. We each display Jesus in our own unique way. Wow.

The word submit is like a crazy, weird word that culture has just twisted. Wicked men have twisted it. But it is so beautiful because the way Jesus submitted to the Father, it didn't make him less than. It didn't change his rank. Still God. But there was this role that he played.

And so as I submit to Christ, she comes under my leadership. And a strong woman like that to come under my leadership makes me want to lay my life down for her. And it's this cycle that it's like the more I lay my life down, the more she's like, I'll follow that. Wow. Yeah.

We could go so many directions, but it's been amazing. I think our first, and we've opened up about this, but our first six months were really hard, really hard. And just a big challenge, I think, for me being a very independent, strong-willed, passionate woman.

And just learning what marriage truly is, which is service, which is sacrifice. I mean, it's the things that I think you think about marriage and you're like, sleepovers with my best friend every night. And, you know, I never had to be alone and all these things. And it's like, yeah, for sure. And there's a constant dying to self and sacrifice and service. And I think at the beginning when we got married, it really just reverberated.

revealed so much selfishness and so much pride. And, you know, we were used to doing things our own way. And for the longest time I would get up and I'd pray and I'd just be like, Lord, change this in Grant, change this in Grant. And, you know, somewhere along the way, the Lord started changing my heart. And it was like, my prayer went from change Grant to change me, help me be the wife of

that you've called me to be, help me to enjoy your design. Because I think I was very mad at God at the beginning when we got married of just like God's design of that submission of the role of a wife to be a support and a help and to respect her husband. I wanted to lead. I

And it was hard for me to respect at times. And those were really trying and testing moments for me. But then when I started, I don't know, just like falling more in love with the Lord and praying and saying, Lord, help me be the wife you've called me to be and understand the mystery of marriage. It was like all of that flipped. And I genuinely loved serving him. I loved submitting to him. I love just...

Yeah, just trusting his leadership to the point now where I'm almost like, yeah, whatever God speaks to you. And I'm like, I'll still pray. But like, okay, I trust you, you know, because I see the way he fears the Lord. And I see the way he loves Jesus and the way he loves people and the way he loves me. And so I so trust him. But that took a minute to get into that.

But yeah, now it really is like we're best friends. We have the best time. And like you said, it's still work. I mean, it's still sacrifice. It's still you have to be communicative and be honest and be open, have accountability around you and not be naive to how the devil works to create division, to create temptation. I mean, he's crafty. And so having...

constant community and being vulnerable, being like, hey guys, I need to confess this thought that I have, or this thing that I saw, I need to confess it to you. And I think that's been really helpful for us. Hey there friends, let's talk about something we can all struggle with from time to time, finding time to sit down and read the Bible. Life is so hectic sometimes and doesn't always leave room for quiet moments to sit down with God's word.

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I know. I can't. You know what I think about with you? Cause we met you like a year ago, almost now. And so that was probably almost eight months into your relationship and it was still pretty new. And I remember when we came to see you last time in Texas, I remember making a note of how different you were because you and I are very similar and we're strong or whatever. We're passionate and everything. I saw such a massive shift in your softness. Yeah.

And I knew that it was from your submission because we move through life. And like, even as Christian women, like we're so vulnerable being a woman. It is. That's why like we're radically anti-feminism. However, we get it in a sense we do because it's like you feel the need to protect yourself. And so I just know that after you entered into this godly covenant union where you were under your husband's submission, you

It just softened you so much. I saw a different Maddie when I came. I couldn't believe it. Free. You were free. You know what I mean? I couldn't believe it. You are so soft. You're like, you're more emotional than I remember. Strong, but you just were soft. It's so beautiful. Free. That's how I would describe it. It's just like when we move through life being like, I got to do everything and I got to be masked.

skill and indomitant, whatever. It's just not the way that we're supposed to be. I thought I had to self-protect. I thought I had to always be right. I had to always be strong. And I've learned a new meaning of strength. I've learned a new meaning of love. And I think that's what a godly marriage does.

as it puts those things into perspective. And like he said, it's just, I was reading in 1 Corinthians 7, and when you have an eternal perspective with marriage, it changes everything. I mean, it really changes everything. And it talks about in that 1 Corinthians 7, like,

even though you're married, almost act as if you're not, not in a bad way, but in a way of it's still all about you and Jesus. And the way you're going to be able to love your spouse best is when you love God the most. And when you make that your greatest, highest priority, I can only give Grant

what Grant needs when I'm getting it from God. Because apart from God, Maddie is messed up, selfish, prideful, strong-willed, rebellious, all these things. But when I am submitted under the Lord and I am bridling myself saying, Lord, I can't do this without you. And I'm coming under the power of the Holy Spirit. Help me to love my spouse the way you call me to love him.

It does something. It changes something, you know, and and that's how I feel like we've both been able to love each other in the way God calls us to. And every day we're learning and every day it reveals a new thing that I'm like, oh, didn't know that about you the day before, you know, and I'm learning something new every single day. And it's it's the beauty of doing life together. It's so fun. Yeah, it's great.

While we have you guys here, I love because when we decided to lay down the sin, it changed our life. And we just think it's so important, purity. And you've taught us a lot about that. And could you guys just touch a little bit on how important it is?

To stay pure before marriage. Yes. And just to go off that as well, and if you guys could talk about, if you're down to go there, if we could talk about maybe coming together with different paths. Yeah. You know? And like what that looks like. 100%. I'd love for you to start with sharing even, I was thinking about it, the importance of community and accountability. Yeah. With what your friends helped you with when you were going through that. 100%. Before we ever even met.

Did not live a pure life, was not pure, addicted in every single way, physically, phone, all of it. And I remember like the cycle of like four days free, seven days back.

And I just, I remember thinking, and I was walking with Jesus. Like, I love Jesus. But I was like, I don't know if I'll ever be free. And I think that's a lot of people's like mindset right now. It's like, I don't know if I'll, and I just want to say you can be and you will be in the name of Jesus. But I would say as a man, you will only ever operate at 60% of the man of God you're called to be when you're stuck in sexual sin. Every other sin counts.

the Bible says, is outside the body. Sexual sin is against your own body. There is a different type of sin when we start talking about sexual impurity. And what I would say is you have to, what Jesus said, get really serious about either cutting off the hand or gouging out the eye, what he said in Matthew 5. And he doesn't mean literally, but it's like, do whatever it takes. And I remember a moment in my life where I was so sick of it. I called

I called one friend and I said, hey, I am getting rid of Xbox TV. Take Internet off my phone. Just calling and texting. I'll never be in my room alone. And I got a roommate and I just was like, it sucked. It sucked. And I was like, it's not worth it. Yeah, it's not worth it.

And purity is not for purity's sake. It's because God, the creator of sex who made it feel good, who was like, this is awesome in my invention. I just know where it's going to work best. And Satan's like, nope, it'll be good right here. And it

only causes shame. It only causes just a shell of yourself to come out. And so I just want to say, starting with, you've got to know your why and your why is not to be a good person. Your why is not to be a good Christian. Your why is because God knows it's best for you and he loves you. And he says, it's going to be so good here, but if you cannot discipline yourself here, then there's carnage and damage waiting for you out there. And I know about that. And so heading into marriage,

I was not a virgin. She was. We came in with two different paths. And I would say like having to work through thoughts and having to work through expectations of sex and marriage where she's like, I waited. So God's going to bless this. It's going to be the best thing in the whole entire world every day of my life. And I'm like, I come in with these crazy expectations. And all I was going off of were these like Hollywood movies, you know, where it's like –

just whatever, however they paint the picture that's extremely unrealistic and they usually are painting it in a sinful way. And so that's all I had to really go off of. And so, yeah, it was a lot of, I think us both working through and having to learn how to communicate because a lot of times I would communicate things that were really hurtful for him to hear.

And, you know, and vice versa. And it was just like, okay, we want to be honest, but what is the best way we can communicate? And even putting mentors in our life to be like, hey, help us like work through this in our marriage and also individually, because it's not helpful for my husband for me to vocalize every feeling or fear or thought that I have towards this, every insecurity I have. And so, yeah, I think it was definitely a lot of communication. And I would say too, it's,

purity is so much more than just the physical. Purity is so much more than just sexual. And I think that's where in our culture, purity talk and purity culture has become this

you know, like thing that everyone's like, ew, like let me run from that because of the stigma or whatever around it. But purity is so much more. And it's this posture of holiness. It's this posture of you want to be like your father. You want to be just like him. And it's,

it says in his word, for I am holy, so you are to be holy. And it says all throughout the word, just the importance of purity and holiness and tying the two together. And so, I don't know, I think for me growing up, it was still a struggle. I'm very open about how I used to struggle with

pornography. That was a part of my past. And so even though I hadn't had sex before marriage, I had still seen things. I had still experienced, my body had still experienced things and I was still coming in with a skewed perspective of what godly sex and godly intimacy looked like. And so that was still a battle even on my end as well. But it was that continued, I think, when I

in freshman year of college got free from that stronghold of pornography and breaking free from that shame of even, oh, as a woman, like you're not supposed to watch porn. You're not supposed to masturbate. That's like only dudes, you know, have that struggle. I had, it took me a while to really break free from that. And then once I did, it was what he said, knowing the why behind it, which was for me, um,

It says in God's Word in Matthew 5, 8, blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God. If I pursue purity, it's going to help me see my God. It's going to help me see my Heavenly Father. In Ephesians 1, 4, before the creation of the world, He created us to be holy and blameless in His sight. I was created for holiness. When I go outside of that, I'm going outside of God's original design. I'm going outside of His commandment and what He made for me, and like Grant said, in

it's the best. Like he doesn't do it to withhold. He doesn't say, Hey, don't, don't have sex and flee from sexual immorality because I want to withhold from you. It's like, he's like, no, just trust me. I promise you it's so worth it. And my way is best. And I just need you to believe that. And I think we've both seen now in the context of marriage, it is so true. It's so worth it. And it's so beautiful and it still takes work and it takes conversation and it's not perfect, but

But at the same time, when it is God's design, there's God's blessing and it's worship and it's beautiful and there's no shame. There's shamelessness. It only creates unity. It only creates peace. It only creates security. Whereas outside of God's original design, it does everything opposite of that. It creates shame. It creates insecurity. It creates doubt. It creates fear. All of these feelings and things. Mm-hmm.

And so it is so worth it. And, you know, it still takes work. Yeah, I just want to add really quickly. We all know that beauty sleep is so important. But in the middle of summer, it can be tough to stay cool and stay asleep. Fortunately, that's what GhostBed is here for. GhostBed is an award-winning bed-in-a-box mattress brand. And everything they do is helping you get cooler, more comfortable sleep.

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The way you look at the way Jesus responded to everybody in their sexual sin, it was with so much grace and gentleness. And John 8, the woman caught in adultery, if y'all remember that story, thrown in front of Jesus. And Jesus just met her with this daughter. And he put identity on her. And everyone left. And it was just him and her. And just imagine the Son of God in your most shameful, dark, sexually immoral moment. Who knows if she's clothed or not? And he's looking at her. And he calls her daughter. Mm-hmm.

And all of a sudden, this just dignity comes back. This identity comes back. But he doesn't leave her there. He says, that's not who you are. So go and sin no more. And so there's this command and commission. And so understand no matter where you're at, if you're coming off –

If you had sex last night and you're going, God wouldn't want me. He wants you. And freedom is yours. And so practically, number one, you've got to confess it. You've got, the Bible says you confess and repent. And so you've got to speak it out loud. And you'll have someone there to pray for you. You'll be healed. And then you've got to put the steps in place to not go back. And so I don't know if that's no phone, but there has to be accountability there.

And I would say when you just try to do it alone, that's where people find themselves in this thing. That's why the local church is so important. Not because church is the hope of the world. Jesus is. But like you've got to get around believers that will go, dude, I just looked at porn last night. Help me. Help me. Like it starts there. And they'll go, okay, let's lock in. Yeah.

Yeah. And that's my story. Yeah. I love how open you guys are. It's so helpful. Yeah, yeah. It's so real. You see why he's helped me with my vulnerability. Oh, my gosh. He's so vulnerable. And I love it about him. You guys are a testament, though, of bringing – not to be weird, but, like, it's kind of like us, where God puts two people together. Yeah.

I love it. I love it. No, seriously. Like any sort of partnership where like we have strengths that complement each other. You know what I mean? Totally. And you guys, like your strengths and your strengths together are unstoppable. They're so powerful.

That's what happens when you walk in the will of God. That's what happens when you let God choose your spouse for you. Like, I'm not going to settle for anyone else. And then you see this partnership of two people who are clearly meant to be together. That's why you never settle for anything less than God's best. Yes. Speaking of that...

Oh, man. She got something to say. Speaking of that, no, seriously, I know I talked about it in our last episode, but I want to, for anyone who's single, who's really, like, trying to find God and just in this period of just unsettledness, read her book. It's my favorite book I've ever read. And I mean that with my whole heart. I've read a lot of books. I love it so much.

the whole book. It was incredible. You really, you poured your heart out in that book and so anyone, it's the love everybody wants. Please, you guys, it freed me by that book if you're in a time of singleness. Thank you.

Thank you guys so much for coming. We love you guys so much. We are so grateful for your friendship and just you guys. And thank you so much. We love you guys. Can we do this every week? I can't wait to hang out today. This is amazing. All right, guys. We're sharing a mic. Come here. Guys, we love you so much. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face towards you and give you peace. We love you so much. Bye.

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