Shownotes Transcript
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Hi, Gigi. We don't need to start over. Hi, Gigi. We love you guys. So if you notice, we're in a different spot today. We are on the couch. And if you guys remember our first two episodes, our testimony video and the first relationships episode was on the couch, which by the way, we're never going back to. I don't want to go
I don't want to, we are such babies. We didn't know what we were doing. You were good. I was acting like Princess Diana. Are you kidding me? I was so nervous. No, but I was like still trying so hard to please, because I had the knowledge of scripture that I have now, but I was like still trying so hard to please people and I didn't want people to think we're weird Christians. And now we're like, bring it on. We are weird Christians. Yeah.
How are you? What's going on? Everything's good. Well, everything's okay. We're all a work in progress. That's why I'm happy today that we get to sit and just chat and just be us, you know? How are you?
I'm really good actually honestly can I be honest we went on live a few weeks ago I don't know when it was and maybe I talked about on the podcast too but I had kind of expressed I had read a journal entry about I was kind of like crying out to God being like I feel so far from you Jesus I don't feel you I I don't like what am I doing wrong why I just feel so far I have felt so
So I feel like I'm I've like been rebirthed in my faith. I don't know why I honestly think it's the fasting It's helped a lot. I Feel that like really young love for Jesus You know when you first get in the faith and you're so obsessed with him like I feel that right now I feel on fire for God and I just I don't know I Tell me what you think about this the past few weeks I've had some things in my life and you've you and I have I
You and I have been through some things recently. We got to stop being so vague on the podcast. We have gone through some things recently that could seemingly be a bad thing.
And just like my entire life, God has worked everything together for my good, for his glory. And I just want to encourage anybody who's watching that anything that seems like a bad thing could be actually a really good thing. And if it's not a good thing, God can turn it into a great thing. And that's just where I'm living right now. I keep having these moments where I like,
I go like this and I think about Jesus and I'm like, because I get so happy because I'm like, God, he works everything together. Yeah, I was going through something for a little bit where I couldn't be alone. Like I was sleeping at your house every night. And the past couple of nights, I've really just wanted to be alone. The past couple of nights, I've been in this sense of peace. And I really don't think there is anything quite better than being alone.
being able to be by yourself with yourself and just God. And I don't know, it's just been really nice. And I think if you really want to have the presence of God, because I too was feeling very distant from him, to really be with yourself and be with the word and just sit with him. I think it's
it's a lot harder I mean it's really nice when you and I are together and we're able to just like sit together and pray and and read the bible together but I don't think there is anything quite like when you're alone going through something and you really just sit with God 100% and um it was just nice because I don't know I've been really really anxious and the past couple days I've
I mean, of course, I have my moments, but I've just been like living in peace. I went to dinner last night by myself and I just sat there and it just it felt really, really nice. And I just it was the reminder of like if you are alone or if you're in your waiting season like this, it's an incredible opportunity because it's so crucial for you to really stand on your own and be able to be with yourself. Yeah.
You know, and God sees it. God sees that. And I and it's like I kind of had a moment where I felt and being like, good job, bar.
You're with yourself. Good job. This is what I wanted, you know? God, oh, that makes me so happy. It's so weird. You and I go through a lot of the same things at the same time. We actually, everything we go through is actually at the same time. It's really bizarre. It's really weird. And it's like two dummies trying to get each other through the moment when we can barely get ourselves through the moment. Yeah.
We imagine, we'll tell another time. But yeah, I also had that recently where I was struggling to be alone. And I think in life and especially like walking through your faith, you need to be able to distinguish when is the time to surround yourself with people and when is the time to get yourself into a more isolated place where you can hear God and know him and what he like wants from you.
And I've been also spending a lot of alone time recently and I think that's also why I feel so close to God. I don't have as many voices in my head distracting me. Yeah, no, it's true. But
And you don't have anyone to sit there and dwell to. That's true. If it's one thing about me, it's that mixed OCD with going through things and the mind really plays tricks on you. And like it's so, for me, like it can get so overbearing, my thoughts, where I talk about this a lot. I ask the same question over and over again and self-blame and what if I did this wrong or what if I did this right?
And yeah, so that's why I think too, it's good to be alone because you really have the opportunity to like give it to God. And what I used to do is like,
I mean, sometimes I still do it. I'm not going to be a hypocrite, but I would literally just like drive my friends nuts and just be like, but what do you think? What do you think? And it's something that if you are going through what I'm going, what I have experienced, the obsessive compulsive, that's really something that you bring to God and work on because it really can like,
Keep you so held back and held back from the journey that God has for you. Yeah, I like that you bring that up about how you can... Sometimes it's better to be alone so you don't have people almost to complain to in a way. Yeah. Because I think...
You have to find a healthy balance because you should, like, for example, we're both, like, on the extremes of that. Like, you might, you're, but I think it's a really good thing that you have. You're really good at expressing yourself. You really are. You are, like, you're vulnerable. You wear your heart on your sleeve and you're able to just, like, get it out. And that's healthy. Like, that's a good thing. You, my mom, I grew up with my mom, would cry and then she would always tell me my whole life, like, crying is such a good thing. Because I cry, I won't get sick.
because she gets it out, you know? She also told us that she's so cute. I swear I think about this all the time. She's just like, you cry, you know it's going to age you. And every time I cry, I'm like...
Oh yeah, one time Ari just needed a word. She needed a word from God. She needed a word that would get her out of the slump. She's on the phone with my mom. My mom tells her something, something, something, giving her advice. And she was like, and by the way, you shouldn't cry over it because it's going to age you. Tears, gone. Pain, gone. She was fine. That's all she needed.
Yeah, I think the one great thing about you is that like you'll talk it out, but then you will really bring it to God and you'll be like, okay, like I'm not going to sit there and self-blame. I literally, I know my value. I know my worth and I'm literally going to let it go. And I think, and that's a beautiful thing. I think too, you got to get a little delusional with it.
I know. She always tells me that. Well, because this is, okay, this is the thing. So by the way, today we're talking about breakups and soul ties and we'll get into that in a second. But this is what I think. When you do go through a situation like a breakup, for example, you need to
There are two reasons why a relationship breaks up. It's either God, it was divine and God intervened and he didn't want that together or you might have messed something up or they messed it up. You know what I mean? You need to always take accountability and look at a situation for what it is and evaluate every single thing because even in the relationships that I've been that ended and
and I'm the one that ended them or nothing bad happened or it was all good, I still can find things that I did wrong and I need to change for the next relationship. And then you fix it. Yeah. And I think a lot of people sit there being like, well, okay, I messed up. Like, did I miss out on opportunity? No, you didn't. I mean, I actually talked about this with my grandmother who was married for like 50 years. She met my Gappa when they were 15. You're what? You're what? What?
call him Gappa. Gappa? My grandfather. That is so cute. Is that a Boston thing? Love that. Isn't that funny? But, you know, she would tell me, she'd be like, Ar, she was like, do you know what we went through? Do you know how much I messed up in my life and how much he messed up? No, you can't mess up God's plan, but what he will do is he'll either separate you guys to have you guys work individually and bring you back together, and if he doesn't,
It's not meant to be. Exactly. So we have to have that faith in God and let him really like surrender all our broken pieces and let him take care of it, which is the hardest thing to do. So I give everyone grace. Yeah. And what I meant about the delusion is like,
I will take accountability for whatever I did wrong and really be genuine and honest with myself. But then I'll also not sit there and drive myself crazy about what I could have done better. And I'll be like, you know what? If they said this was the reason and this was that, I'm going to believe them and I'm going to...
Like combat the thoughts that want to drive me crazy to make me think otherwise that maybe it was this maybe it was that like That's what I mean about being delusional. I'm gonna be like, you know what? That's it. That's fine. He's not for me. They're not for me. It's all good Yeah, you know, yeah, it's a beautiful gift to have you know It's hard and it takes work. It takes work. Yeah, so today I
We're going to read a psalm. We've never read a psalm on here before, or maybe we have, but not to open up. I love psalms so much. I think that if you...
can't read a whole chapter or you just don't have time or anything I think at least reading a psalm would be so good for you or a proverb um it really is that's that's really what I started off with when I first started reading the the bible I just it was relatable it was really easy to read it touched my heart in ways I can't even yeah what which one psalm 34 why are you in a hundred can you get it for me
I can't move in these jeans. Why did I wear jeans? You know what? We should have worn leggings. I almost wore jeans. I put these in the dryer for an hour. They're our best friends. You really are, you guys. Oh, okay.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, before we do anything, guys, right now I am wearing our last piece of merch from the first collection. It's right here, Psalm 34. This is the last piece. It's our Jesus sweatshirt with, in the cement color. We only have a couple mediums and a couple larges, and then we're done with this collection. So if you guys want it, go get it, girlsgonebible.com. It doesn't have the makeup all over the neck, though, like Angela's. Don't look at it.
Where are we starting? Psalm 34. So we are going to start with Psalm 34, the happiness of those who trust in God.
I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the Lord. The humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord and he heard me and delivered me from all my fears.
They looked to him and were radiant, and their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear him and delivers him. Mm-hmm.
oh taste and see that the lord is good blessed is the man who trusts in him oh fear the lord you his saints there is no want to those who fear him the young lions lack and suffer hunger but those who seek the lord shall not lack any good thing
Come, you children, listen to me. I will teach you the fear of the Lord, who is the man who desires life and love many days, and he may see good. Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good. Seek peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their cry. The face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
God, I highlighted some things. I just want to go back.
We said at verse 4, I sought the Lord and he heard me and delivered me from all my fears. When you look for Jesus, when you cry out to Jesus, he will hear you.
This is one of the best scriptures ever. The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear him and delivers them. Whenever you're going through something, whenever you're in fear, whenever you feel in danger, call out to God and say, God, send me an army of angels to encamp around me, form a hedge of protection around me, to minister to me, to love me, and to protect me. Those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.
I feel like because of when you go through a breakup, you can feel so much lack, right? Yeah, yeah. And so much emptiness. And you just need to remember that those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.
And then this is basically verse 18 is kind of the reason we wanted to read Psalm 34 today. Instead of reading a story about heartbreak or breakups or divorce, we wanted to read something a bit more uplifting to show the true nature of God and who he is in these situations. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart. Yeah, it is so true. It is so true. And I mean, my story is based on...
my broken heart yeah and my pain and um truly um he really is he really is with you in your broken heart and sometimes god like they say god will break your heart to save your soul he really will break your heart to bring you to that to that pain to to find him and um trust me when i when somebody tells me they have a broken heart or or if we're in a going through a broken heart i i
Truly don't think there's anything more just awful than that feeling. It is hands down for me the worst pain you could ever go through.
I think that breakups, romantic breakups, are arguably one of the most painful things that you can go through in life because, and tell me what you think about this. This is my reasoning because people might argue, I would think that like a family member with cancer or a child, a parent's child dying is so much worse. Yes, 100%. But I think that
Because when a tragedy happens outside of you, it's like you feel grief and you feel pain and all these things. But it's almost like even if it's close to you, it's still outside. It's a tragedy that's happening and you deal with it. A breakup, you feel that grief, you feel that pain, and then you add your ego on top of it. And then it's just unbearable because then your ego starts saying all these things and they're going to be with other people and I have to see them with someone else. Right.
It's just unbearable. Like it's the worst. It's really, I hate breakups. Honestly, I have spent a lot of my 20s having extreme avoidant attachment style simply for the fact that I don't want to get into a relationship because I don't want to go through a breakup. That's how much I hate breakups. I'd rather, not really, but sometimes I think like I'd rather not experience love
because I don't want to experience a breakup. Yeah, a lot of people are like that. Yeah, I mean, it's just, I don't even know. I truly would want to just hold everyone that is going through it. I mean, what's so hard about it is it's like they're still alive, so you're grieving someone that's still alive. Yeah.
So that's why I think it can just be so much harder than when you actually do lose someone to a death. Yeah. You know? Yeah, so true. Yeah, because, again, it's... I think... From on... I don't know. The hardest part of a breakup is truly that ego hurt of the idea of them being with someone else, of them loving somebody else, of you having to see them with somebody else. I mean, we got...
We have never gotten more questions about a topic ever. I mean, people really... Struggling. Yeah, I mean...
Breakups are universal. All of us have experienced it. All of us will experience it. And people are sitting there being like, what do I do when we break up? And somebody, I have to like see them at work. You know what I mean? Oh, I saw those too. I can't even imagine. It's like we go to school together. I mean, it's really, it's rough. Or if you still love them and you lose them. I mean, it's like, and then you're forced to move on. Yeah. You know, that's hard too. I mean, it's just...
That's why, but when you, you really, here's the thing that I've learned through, through my breakup. God has never let me down when I, when I, he, when you connect, when you look back, when you look at your life, how he connects all the dots in your life, it's like,
okay, well, that's why this happened, and that's why I couldn't be with this person, and that's why healing is just, it's not easy. It's just that you have to just day by day by day. It's a process. Healing is a process. It is a process, and it's not linear, and a lot of people wrote in being like,
I feel like I'll be good one day and I won't be the next day. And I just want to tell anybody who feels that way, that's normal. That's completely normal. It's not linear. You're going to feel like you're taking steps backwards. I know for me, like going through a breakup, the nights and the mornings are the worst. I'll wake up...
I'll wake up from my sleep and there's, I think, like a moment upon waking up where you aren't fully like in this world yet. And so you're not completely aware of what's happened, especially if it's really fresh. And you might even feel like you're still with this person and that like anxiety. That's the worst part for me about a breakup is the anxiety. Yeah. Breakup anxiety is the worst. I hate it. You're in survival mode. The not eating. Yeah.
the pain, the excruciating pain you feel in the mornings. Yeah, the loneliness at night. I remember laying in the shower. I truly was, like, dead. Like, I can remember it like it was yesterday, the pain, the way I felt, the not eating. And I'm laying there because I had truly nothing left in me. And the water is beating down on my head. And I'm just, like, laying there being like,
what do I do like save me I truly I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel what am I gonna do I am in so much pain it feels so physical I actually remember googling can you die from a broken heart because it was so painful I just didn't think I was gonna come out of it yeah
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fought with God a lot. Yeah. I was really, really angry at him. I was like, are you doing this to, why are you doing this to me? Why would you take away something that I love so much? Why are you? And I felt like, and it wasn't just even my broken heart. It was like one thing after another, after another. And, and
I really feel like he brought me to such... My life was, like, in such shambles because he wanted me to see the goodness of him. 100%. But, I mean, I have so many points about, like, how to get over a breakup, what to do, what not to do. I think first let's talk about the fact that the pain that you feel from a breakup, especially if it's a breakup that you didn't want...
There comes a time, I think it's not until you go through it yourself that you will be able to know for future experiences that God literally never gets it wrong.
And that I know we've said it all the time, but God will never take something from you that's meant to be yours. It's just not going to happen. It can't happen. What God has for you is for you. And it says in the Bible that any door that God opens, no man can shut it. And any door that he closes, no man can open it. And that's facts. That's true.
And so I know that's hard and I understand what it's like to have a wrestle with God. I've wrestled with him and I've wrestled with him and I've asked him why and I've asked all the questions and I've even doubted him and I've even been mad at him. But time and time again, he has always revealed to me because I've chosen to see it. And that's the thing about it, because a lot of people and this is the truth, you have to have a bit of maturity and and like spiritual maturity.
to understand that you have to choose to see the good in whatever's happening. And you have to choose to believe God that he does have a plan for you. Because I know for me, even when I don't agree with God, and even if I have that doubt, it's okay. That doubt can be there. Just let it be there. I'm sitting there and I'm like, you know what? Your thoughts are higher. Your ways are higher. So you have to understand that he knows what he's doing and trust in that. Yeah, I...
When I was going on my journey with God through my breakup, he was rapidly changing my life. I would be praying to him, like, please answer this. And he was very silent for a long time. And we have to understand when God isn't answering our prayers,
it's either a no or I'm not finished with your story yet. And we have to understand that it's not, it's not that he's not there. It's just, we don't know what he's doing behind the scenes. And so, and I really think that it's all in the details of everything. Like, it's just so funny when I look at this past year, because it's,
I was praying every day like, please answer this, please answer this. He wasn't answering. He wasn't bringing back what I wanted or answering in the exact way. But what he did do for me was he brought me you, first of all. And you know what the beautiful thing about a broken heart is? It brings you to this place of such vulnerability, right?
I was someone who I always kind of acted perfect on the Internet. I wanted to be a little bit of a mystery and not really show my life because it really wasn't anyone's business. But then again, I wanted to be some I wanted to build a platform that helped so many girls and men. But.
But... And so I think God had to really... Well, number one, God had to bring me to such a place of brokenness to then be like, okay, my friends can't help me. My parents can't help me. My therapist can't help me. The only one that can help you is him. So it... When I was down so bad in the brokenness, that...
That is when I was like, I ran to God and that's when I found him, which is it's it's so beautiful when I think about my whole story this past year. The one thing that God wants us to do, he wants us to really rely on him and to be patient. I was someone who wasn't patient. I was a control freak. Well, why is this? Why isn't this happening for me now? God really wanted me to to.
I could hear him saying to me like, it is not your time yet. It's not on our time. It really is on his time. So if he's taking someone away from you that you love so much, he's not trying to hurt you. He's such a compassionate God. He's never doing anything out of a place of wanting to hurt us. He's doing it for our greater good. So we have to understand that and we have to just sit in that and day by day be like,
And the one thing that I kept doing was I kept complaining this year. This is me being completely vulnerable and honest. I...
I kept asking why and I'm watching what he was doing in my life, but I kept asking why and I kept dwelling and I kept just sitting in sadness and what that's gonna do is it's just gonna it's gonna prolong the journey that God has for you and the path that he has for you and so you and I were talking about this the other day about gratitude and
And it's so hard to sit in gratitude and praise God when your heart is in pieces. But we just, the one thing I really had to learn this year is surrender and give all our broken pieces to God. Like every single piece, we give it to God. And when we have those moments of anxiousness, you say, I give it to God. I had a moment the other day where I,
I was like, God, I'm in some pain. I'm feeling far from you. My heart's feeling a little bit broken. I pray for some kind of side. He was silent, and then I went to sleep in some pain, but as I was waking up, I was actually at your house.
I kept saying in my head, I was still sleeping, but I kept saying in my head, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding. It kept replaying in my head over and over. It was such a godly moment. I woke up in tears and I told Angela, I said, you'll never believe what happened to me.
That's happened to me so many times where I say scripture in my head while I'm sleeping. Yeah. So it's just really, I mean, when I started reading, reading scripture and I started to really know that there was a God, know that there was a father that, that was right beside us only that only wants the best for us. Um,
That's when I started to really surrender and really trust it. It's clearly not what you want from me. I don't know why, but you do. I can't see behind the scenes, but you can. And just know that when he's silent in the breakup and he's not answering your questions, he truly is orchestrating something. He has such a beautiful journey for you. He really, really does. Wow.
Yeah. Wow. Let's give it up for Arish Mari. That was incredible. I love hearing about your journey because I've been able to see firsthand some of the things that you've walked through and you are so honest and it's my favorite thing about you and you're so accountable and you really like, you are like a dream for God because you see everything that you do that you, you feel you need to change. Like you said about, um,
how the complaining, right? I feel like complaining is a little bit of a harsh word to use, but I think it's important that we touch on it because
again like I said earlier yes you you have to express yourself that's where we were getting at you have to express yourself and you need to talk and you need to like talk to people about what you're going through but at the same time you need a healthy balance of not complaining and not speaking death over it so much because you're feeding it yeah like those obsessive thoughts and those uh thoughts of um like rejection and unworthiness and why did this person leave or why did they do this or that
Or why wasn't I good enough? Like, yes, you should get those thoughts out to a certain extent, but you can't sit there and feed them over and over and over again because you're doing damage. Yeah, because although God has a plan for each and every one of us, the words we speak really do, really are the house we live in or that, you know, it will manifest. And it did for me. When you speak negative, it's really is going to prolong. Yeah.
You're going to stay in that spot. And I think too, you know, Pastor Irwin made a great point when he was on and he said something along the lines of,
Christians, we have a misconception that if you're a Christian, your life is going to be perfect. It's not. Just because you believe in Jesus doesn't mean you're not, you're never going to have heartbreak. You are. And in fact, you might have it even more because when God wants you to move and you don't move, he's going to force you to move. And that's happened to me multiple times in my life. And you and I had a conversation recently where we were saying how I said, sometimes
Okay, I'm going to be really honest with people. You may have gone through a breakup, right? And there's the argument of like, was it my fault or this person's fault or did God do it for us? Or is this what God really wanted? If there are some situations where somebody may have left you and you may have all these feelings of rejection and all these feelings of unworthiness because this person left you and you feel like you weren't good enough.
When in reality, what it was is that God didn't want you with this person and he wanted you to move and you weren't going and he was giving you sign after sign and you were asking for signs and you were speaking it out loud saying, this person's not for me. He's not for me because you felt it. You knew. And since you weren't strong enough to make the decision, God had to make it for you and he orchestrated it. And you are now in a situation where you feel left, you feel rejected, but really left.
God wanted you out of the situation. It's you he wanted out. You know what I mean? And so it's just like, I really think it's important that we listen to those little things from God. We had a question that was like, what is the difference between your gut
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And I think that, so I believe that your gut is like the Holy Spirit. Your intuition is the Holy Spirit. I believe, you know, that that's who speaks to me and gives me those little messages. And then I believe that the Holy Spirit will speak to you in peace. He will speak to you with confirmation. He will speak to you with a deep knowing and understanding of what is right. Not saying that it's not hard or painful, but you'll know. You have a knowing. Anxiety comes with confusion and comes with anxiety.
scared, fear, and like being paralyzed and not knowing what to do. But when you're getting those little messages, this person's not for me. I'm not going to be happy here. This isn't what God wants for me. You have to listen to those. That's the Holy Spirit speaking to you. And if you don't,
He's going to come do it for you and it's going to be worse like that. You really have to have a deep understanding of yourself and your identity to really understand your value and to...
To know what's what's good for you, because when you really know your value and you really know who you are and you know who God is, you can then make better decisions and then you can make and then you can understand, like, is this my anxiety or is this a gut feeling? Is this something I should be in? Yeah. And and.
I was always like looking for some kind of void. I always, I always, I seeked love like my, you know, I always, I talk about this a lot. My dad was always working and so my boyfriends became my family. And so that then became my identity and my life. And when you are only seeking love, you're going to be very empty. It's just a void. Mm-hmm.
And so it's, I'm just, really, it's crucial, like, spend as, and it's hard. Don't, do you agree? It is probably, we all want love. We all want, we all want to feel loved and have that rush and to have a partner. I mean, isn't that the goal for everyone? But...
If you can spend time alone, real time, you will feel so free that you won't have that anxiousness when you're in a relationship. It's just going to be someone who's going to make you better. That is probably the biggest thing I learned this year. Yeah.
Godly relationships aren't two people who complete each other. They're two complete people who add to the other one's life. Yeah, only Jesus seriously can fill that empty void in your life. I love love. I love to love. I just love it. But I always had this sense of emptiness within my heart. And it truly is because I put...
men before God. I didn't really know God. He was always trying to find me. But again, like I said, that's why he broke my heart so bad out of compassion to say,
I'm right here. I'm waiting for you. I want to help you. I want to bring you to your greatest destiny. I want to change your life. But you need me first. So come to me and I will help you. I will make you the best version of yourself. But first, I need it to just be me and you for a little bit. Yeah.
And no one else, no other men, because they're not going to fill that void that you've been feeling your whole life. Whenever you're dwelling or you're worried, I always look at you and I'm like, I'm not worried about you at all. You are so... God has you like this in his hand. He loves you so much.
You walk in the path that God has set out for you more than anybody that I know. And it's so hard and it's not easy in your industry and where you're at and in LA and all the things. It's not easy and you are so obedient, especially recently the past few months. You're doing everything right. There's no way in heaven that he is not taking care of you and giving you everything exceedingly and abundantly more than you could ever ask, think or imagine. Yeah, and don't you look at your...
don't you look at your life like wow this didn't work out because I truly wouldn't be right here right now I don't I have I've said it before I'll say it again an unshakable faith in God because I have seen time and time again over and over the same story in my life that something looks bad and it ends up being
good and if it's bad he uses it for my good every single time every heartbreak I've ever experienced and my major heartbreak and big testimony wasn't heartbreak from a guy from a relationship it was from being in a dark place kind of at my own it was my own fault and being involved in things I shouldn't have and drinking and whatever but like
He the worst things that have ever happened to me are the best things that have ever happened to me And because I have that knowledge I know this is what I want to say every time that I go through a breakup now now I don't want this to sound like sociopathic. Okay, it's not that I enjoy pain and it's not that I enjoy that bad things happen although when I do go through a breakup, especially and
While I'm in pain and I have anxiety and I have all the bad things, on the same coin, I have almost like a joy because I know that this situation, this breakup, this heartbreak is about to propel me into God's arms. Like every single time me and God come together so hard that I'm just like, you know what? It's worth going through this pain.
Yeah. And he has to, like, what did you say earlier? It was so good. You were like, he breaks your heart to save your soul. To save your soul. Because you need these hard times to grow. It's character development. Yeah, it is. It is. And we get so complacent in relationships. Oh, yeah. And then when he, like, breaks our heart, we're starving for something. We're starving for our father, our...
we're starving for him you know um I know it's it's you're so right in the sense that you say like I know he's about to propel me it's so true every time and I and and we need to start we need to start saying like okay this broken heart this isn't going to destroy me this isn't for for for
for God to hurt me or for... Because they're going to go find someone better. This is for my greater good. Get excited. This is about to... God's about to move me to do something in my life. You guys, you have no idea. Had I went through...
this pain in my life, it would have never propelled me to run to God, to find him, to then find myself, to then find my people, to then find my purpose. Yeah. Truly. Yeah. Truly. You need it.
I'm telling you the most beautiful stories and testimonies are birthed out of heartbreak. It's necessary for your life and it's actually a really good thing. And I encourage you to look at it that way. I know it's weird. I know it's weird to go through something really negative and be like, I'm going to look at this as a positive thing. But it is. It is. I've seen it in my life and I've seen it in everybody else's life. There's purpose in your pain.
You're growing. You need these moments. It's so rich what's happening to you in this heartbreak. If you're going through a breakup, you go chase Jesus. That's the best thing you could possibly do. And that's the only way to save yourself from pain and from experiencing more suffering than you need to. So what not to do? The first thing that comes to my mind is...
And this is the hardest one that you can do. But if you can seriously cut off, it's so hard now with social media. That is what makes breakups so gruesome and just awful. Because you can literally see everything. You can see who they follow. You can then see who, then you can put the pieces together, who they're hooking, whatever it is. If you can cut it off.
No contact. I always think about how back in the day before there was social media,
If you broke up with somebody, there was a good chance you might never even see them again. God, it must have been so easy to get over people. Now you see them all over the internet and you have to have such a profound amount of discipline and self-control to not look. My number one rule is that after a breakup, I don't look. And do you know why I don't look? Because I've gone through a breakup that I looked.
I looked. I had the fake. My friend had a fake. I would go. I'd look at the following list, see who they're following. Did they follow him back? What are they doing? Where are they at? Oh, he's in the same place that this girl he followed last week is. That means they're together. I mean, it is recipe to drive yourself absolutely mad. The truth is when someone, because that's the hardest part of a breakup, right, is like when they're going to be with somebody else. I think a couple of things. When you go through a breakup,
And you're like really distraught over this person. And if the person feels the same about you and whatever, just because they look like they're having...
good life on Instagram you don't know what's going on because you probably look like you're having a good life too so you just have to put it into perspective that you're by looking you're seeing something that's not even real and you're torturing yourself and just because they followed a girl literally might not even mean anything but we're creating these stories in our head and it's absolutely it'll drive you nuts I think too a big thing because a lot of people wrote in saying that
What do you do when you feel like you're still meant to be with this person? What do you do when you're not ready to let go? I have one thing from you that I know God, it's in scripture that God does not want you looking at the past. He wants you looking forward to what he has for you in the future. He gives a future and a hope. And you looking back,
and constantly dwelling on the past and the past situation and your ex and wishing you could get back together, I feel like is almost like blasphemous against God because you're not trusting in the future that he promises you, that he has good things for you. And so to sit there and doubt God so hard, I really think it's hurtful to God and it's bad for you. When you are going through a breakup, there's one thing you have to do, and I hope this doesn't sound insensitive,
But you have to move on. You have to choose to move on. There is no wishing you're with someone. When you break up with someone or they break up with you, you have to immediately move on as if you're never getting back together. And whether you do or not is up to God. And it might happen. But you must move on and you must not hold on to hope. You can't hold on to bitterness. You can't hold on to anger. You move on.
Yeah, the worst thing you can ever do is be bound in chains and sit there thinking that someone is just going to come back and waiting and not taking that time to seriously grow and grow your relationship with God so he can do the works in your heart and in your mind to make you the best version of yourself. I went through a breakup a few years ago where I...
Broke up with this person and I wasn't necessarily completely ready for it to end, although I knew it was the best thing. I, in my heart, hoped that this person would reach out, right? I did. I did. Everybody does. Even if you don't like the person, you probably hope they reach out to you one day. I did. I hoped they reached out. But as soon as we broke up, I immediately had an understanding and a peace that this person would never reach out to me. I just said it to myself. They're never reaching out.
And thank God I did that because they did it. But you know what I mean? I chose to have that perspective. I'm not going to sit there and wait. Do you think they will? I hope they do. Do you think they will? It's just like, for what? It's, it's, you can't hold on like that. Yeah. And, and it says in the Bible for, for women, um, if, if somebody does walk away from you, I think this is another thing that you don't do. If somebody decides to walk away from you, I think you, you
really do like just focus on yourself and not run and beg and complain and ask for them back. It says in the Bible that men should pursue us. And so chasing after a man that decided to walk away, I think you have more value than that. You need to value yourself more than that. Absolutely. Truly. Let a man lead you. Yeah, you do. You let the man lead you. Yeah. A hard part...
about breakups a lot of the time and this is something that you kind of have to accept is even if a relationship ends completely peacefully and amicably there's usually always a villain in the story
And that's also another part of breakups that you have to accept. You most likely will be the villain in somebody else's story. I know I've been in relationships that I was a genuine... I've been in relationships where I was not an angel. 100% I have. I take accountability. I know this. But I've also been in relationships where there's not one thing I could have done better. And I still somehow ended up being a villain in this person's story. It's just how it is. Yeah. And...
sitting there and like being like oh but this but that trying to control the narrative and what these people think about you and what other people think you know what to do you sit back and you let god vindicate you you let him be your defender and have him clear your name it's not your problem to sit there and try so hard to control the narrative of what's happening yeah yeah no i know
Honestly, guys, I mean, we can sit there and blame ourselves and say, what could I have done different? Or what if I did this? Would we have still been together? Every God has a plan. John 13, verse 7, you do not understand now what I'm doing, but later you will. Like, truly later you will understand why this all happened. You will. And so...
Let it hurt and take every day, day by day with God, with your healing, and he will connect the dots to your life. He will send you angels. He will bring the right people into your life to get you through whatever you're going through. And he is doing this for a reason. And when you can rest in that and rest knowing that he took this person away to do the works in your life, to bring you to, I don't know if it's back
to that person or to something better or whatever it is, but he's doing it for a bigger purpose and for a reason. I think too, God wants so badly, he wants to be a comforter. He wants to be the one who brings you peace and brings you joy. So in those moments, running to somebody else, and we're all guilty of it, or at least talking to somebody else or getting attention from somewhere else,
God wants nothing more for you to leave a relationship or a situation and then just go be alone. It's so beautiful. It's the only way to fully heal. I really encourage it because sitting there and going to somebody else immediately only does more damage than it does good. And that's the absolute truth.
It's okay to feel pain. It really is. And the sooner you accept that you will feel pain, the happier you'll be. I think another thing that we should touch on is...
Because, yes, we should believe that God has a better plan for us and that person wasn't for us and blah, blah, blah and all that good stuff. And it's it feels good to be on that side of it, to be on the side of like, well, God knew they weren't for me and he wants something better for me. Absolutely. But there are situations in which that we could have done better and we could have done more and we.
We have to take responsibility for the part we play in our own suffering and for the part we play in a downfall of a relationship. We all have faults. We've all done things. And even if somebody else did worse or more than you in a relationship, I encourage you to take accountability and to really reflect on what you did and could have done better. There's a healthy way to take accountability. You don't have to torture yourself to acknowledge the things you've done wrong.
Here's another thing that I am a big advocate in. If you do wrong, take down the ego and apologize. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And a lot of people don't like to do that. Yeah. They don't like to come forth and say, hey, you know what? I'm really – they rather just mask the pain and get over it. And instead of being like, you know what? You are a big part of my life. I'm really sorry. And I – do you know how much that frees you? Yeah.
And I used to be someone who had such an ego that I'd be like, no, I don't, whatever. The best thing you can ever do is take accountability. Take accountability. Let's get into something a little bit before we go because we've been going for a little bit.
We want to talk about soul ties. And soul ties are a bit of a debate within the Christian community because people say that soul ties aren't biblical. And while the Bible doesn't explicitly reference soul tie by that name, I do believe that soul ties are an actual thing. I don't think that it's like a new age thing.
thing term that's come out like I do believe like and if you don't like the term soul ties I would refer to it as like spiritual ties there is scripture that supports this the Bible really quickly let me just say that so a soul tie is a strong spiritual and emotional connection that you have with someone and
After being intimate with them or you don't even have to be intimate with them and you can have the same type of soul tie I want to read the scripture that supports this so
The Bible warns against entering ungodly relationships. He says, my son, if sinners entice you, do not give into them. Do not go along with them. Do not set foot on their paths. Proverbs 1, 10 and 15. And then in first Corinthians 6, 16, it says, do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said the two will become one flesh. Um,
So between there, they also talk about in scripture about like knitting of souls, like two souls becoming one by knitting together between Jonathan and David. In 1 Samuel 18, 1, it says, now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.
But the godly soul tie, there's only one godly soul tie. Two. One, we're soul tied with God. Our spirits are tied with his. And then the other godly positive good soul tie is in marriage. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. God uses intimacy in marriage to serve God as one. Now, we're going to touch on something that's a little bit
whatever, but we talk about everything on Girls Gone Bible. The truth is that God did create sex to be preserved in the context of marriage. That is the truth, whether people like it or not, whether we want to agree with it or not, that's what it is. God isn't withholding good things from us. He actually created
sex to be one of the most beautiful parts about life. It's actually so sacred that the enemy has perverted it so hard because he wants to destroy anything that God makes as sacred as sex. Yeah. You know, and God doesn't withhold it to be mean to us. He tells us not to abstain because it leads to death. It leads to demonic oppression. It leads to
demonic soul ties and every time that you are intimate with somebody your soul binds with theirs whether you want to accept it or not and it's really really freaky and I would describe it almost as being and this is a part of Christianity that a lot of people shy away from because it's it's too spiritual for some people but I really believe that denying the spirituality in Christianity is truly denying Jesus because if God raised
If God's spirit raised Jesus from the dead, how much more spiritual do you want to get? Like we live in a spiritual world where spiritual beings and this stuff is real. I believe that when you're intimate with somebody...
It's like a USB stick going into a kid. Like, whatever they got in them is about to come on to you demon-wise. It's so true. Yeah. It's so true. And I believe that's why so many people are so lost with, like, all these young girls that are young guys that are hooking up with this one and hooking up with the...
Have you ever felt that where you're like so depressed and depleted and you don't know why? It's because you're literally, it's like a soul tie. You're giving your body to someone and that becomes... You're becoming one with God. Yeah, yeah. You are doing the most sacred act
we live in a society and I'm so passionate about this because we live in a society that is so pro sex and pro hookup culture and I don't care if people think we're the most annoying people ever it's wrong it's wrong sex is the most beautiful sacred thing that God has created and we are just giving we're glorifying it we're giving it up like it's nothing we're glorifying hook
up culture that to have friends with benefits that you can go do the most sacred act with somebody who literally doesn't care about you it's okay to hook up it's okay yeah my my you know what my my life it's like no actually it's really sacred I mean today's episode isn't about sex maybe we'll have one one day but like anyways my point is soul ties are are the result of having a soul tie with somebody is is obsession it's like a very um
It's obsession. It's obsession. It's attachment. It's being tied to somebody. It's making an idol out of them. It's being dependent on them. And it's really bad. And I encourage you to break these soul ties. We'll put some videos in the description, some guided prayers that I would encourage you to say. You want to break these soul ties, but you don't even have to have sex with someone to have a soul tie. You can develop an ungodly soul tie just by having a dependence on someone, an obsession with someone. Soul ties are often bred in abuse.
Well, I think that's it for today.
Guys, we might have to do a part two of breakups. I honestly think we should. We have so much more to talk about. Yeah, and we didn't answer any questions. We didn't answer. We'll do a part two. We can do a part two. There's so many people going through pain and suffering and feeling alone and feeling like this is the end and feeling like I'm never going to find my person and I'm not good enough. Well, we're here to tell you, yes, you are. Jesus loves you so much and he's with you and he will get you through this.
and he is bringing you through this for a reason for the greater of your good and he will um he's got you yeah he's got you if i could say anything to close i would say this is how you need to pray you need to pray and ask jesus to plead the blood of jesus all over you your situation
the other person, and whatever soul tie that you have with them. Ask Jesus to enter into the gap between you and this person and to heal it, to redeem it, to restore it, and bring it back to life. Whatever is dead is being brought back to life in Jesus' name in your life. We love you guys. God bless you. Love you. Love you. Love you guys so much.
