Addiction | Girls Gone Bible
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*whistling*

Hi, I'm Ange. And I'm Ari, and this is Girls Gone Bible. We talk everything Jesus, the Bible, mental health, you name it, we talk about it. We always say, come as you are, just don't stay that way. Hi, guys. What's up, Ari? What's up? Okay, I have to turn my phone off. I am so sorry, everybody. I just felt it under me. Were you addicted to it? Were you a tether right next to you?

That was a good one. That was a good one. What's up? Not much. Can't wait to talk about addiction today. I know. Well, how's your week? Good. What did we do? I don't know. Oh, wait. No, I went to Vegas. I went to Vegas to go see my family for a second. How was that? Was it demonic? No.

It was so good being with my brother and his sister. And his sister. My sister-in-law, his wife. I'm the sister. It was so good being with them. But, yeah, Vegas just scares me. I don't know why. I feel it's just heavy there for me personally. But we're also, like, on the strip. Yeah.

I feel like Vegas gets such a bad rap because nobody, I bet anyone who lives like outside in the suburbs is like, hello, like there's a world out there that's not the strip. But yeah, it's hard for me to go to Vegas. We were going to go to the Usher concert. Yeah. Is he still there? I don't think he is. You know what? I went. I went to the Usher concert with my mom, my sister-in-law, and my two-year-old niece at the time. Really? We brought her. And was it fun? It was so much fun. I'm trying to think of my, I think mine's,

You got, what is it? You got a baby.

And you won't do. Oh, maybe that's something we shouldn't sing. I don't know if we should sing that. Anyways, I'm going home tomorrow. I am so excited. There is nothing like East Coast summers. I don't know if you guys have ever been to the Cape, but my dad has a little lake house, and it's just the best. My dad is the best. You guys, I always, he is, isn't he the funniest guy ever? I love him so much. He is literally such a goof.

Every time I'm with him, I'm like, I wish you guys could be with us because he is just the funniest guy ever. He is so insane. He's so funny. It's the best thing in my life. Yeah. So I'm just going to have some family time. I actually think this next week I'm going to shut off my social media and be present with my family and just really rest my soul and just be with them and enjoy them. I love that.

Yeah, I'm excited. I'm so happy. I wish I could go with you. I know. I'm so sad. We are in August, though. Yeah, we'll go. We'll do a little Cape summer vacation. And you can talk in a Boston accent the whole time. The whole time. The whole time. I'm not going to do it right now. I don't even think my accent's that bad, honestly. What do you guys think? I think it's amazing. I think it's my favorite thing about you.

Can you hear it bad? Okay, like right now, do you feel that I have an accent? No, because you're doing something that's not how. Just let it fly. Let it out. Whatever, Ange. Whatever, babe. No, I love that. I love your Boston accent so much. Yeah.

Yeah, I think that... I just feel really tall right now. I don't know how to... We're sitting on pillows. I feel like I'm hovering over the table. I love it. We're sitting on these pillows because we're so little. Well, I'm not. I'm tall. Yeah, you are. I'm little. What are we talking about today? We're talking about addiction. Yeah. Take it away, Ange. We're talking about addiction, something that plagues...

Everybody. And I think anybody listening might be like, oh, addiction. I don't struggle with that. I am not on drugs or alcohol or, you know, all the other things, gambling or all of the mainstream hardcore addictions. But I think what we're all going to realize today is that

Anybody and everybody is susceptible to addiction, and there most likely is something that you are addicted to that has to take precedent over your relationship with Jesus. So we're thinking we'll start out with Psalm 63. We're looking throughout the Bible, studying, being like, what is a good story on addiction? And Ari and I came to the conclusion that there's this Psalm, Psalm 63, that is kind of

Just kick it off today. Let's start out with talking about how victorious we are through Jesus.

Oh God, you are my God. I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you. My whole body longs for you. In this parched and weary land where there is no water, I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than itself. How I praise you. I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast.

I will praise you with songs of joy. I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. Because you are my helper, I sing for joy and the shadow of your wings. I cling to you. Your strong right hand holds me securely.

But those plotting to destroy me, your addictions, will come to ruin. They will go down into the depths of the earth. They will die by the sword and become the food of jackals. But the king will rejoice in God. All who swear to tell the truth will praise him, while liars will be silenced.

I love this little part where it says, "You satisfy me more than the richest feast." Jesus satisfies us more than anything that we could possibly turn to. He's the only satisfaction. So, addiction is a really scary thing. It's really scary and it ruins lives and it inhibits you from actually living a normal life. Addiction comes in so many different forms.

And as you guys know, if you're returning family or if you have seen some of our episodes, I have struggled with every type of addiction possible. I have battled a nicotine addiction. I have battled disordered eating. I have had to, you know, get sober from alcohol. And so this is something that is

not new to me. This is something I've been dealing with for a very long time that, um, is something that I battle all the time. And I, you know, it's something that I think is kind of, it's like my theme in of what I, we're all battling something. And I think we all have like a lifelong battle for most of us. There's one thing, some people it's more than one thing, but there's always one thing that it's like, this might just be mine. This is my fight. Um,

And so I thought it was kind of, I haven't done a lot of therapy, but I love introspective work. And I have been trying so hard to figure out like what the root of my addiction is because yeah, I have an addictive personality for sure. Yes, I believe it's genetic. I think it's been passed down through generations.

But I've been thinking so much recently about, like, what... Because everything is formed in childhood. Everything starts... Like, it's just so funny how so often we disregard children because we're like, ah, they're just kids. They don't know. They can't hear. They don't understand. But it's like literally our whole selves are formed as children. And then we have to spend the rest of our lives, like, healing from whatever happened when we were children. It's the craziest thing. But my...

I am first generation Albanian immigrant, Albanian American immigrant. So my family came over here from Albania. It's a country in between Italy and Greece. It's this small but mighty country. Albanians are very patriotic and they love being Albanian so much. I love where I come from. My parents came here. I think I was like two years old. I think they came in 1999, I believe, or maybe 2000.

And it took so much for my family to get here. Anybody who is an immigrant or comes from an immigrant family, you know what it takes to get over here. And it's really, really hard, especially like my family. My parents grew up in communist Albania where...

It was just total civil unrest in the country. And so they came to the states through political asylum. They got their green cards a few years later. We became citizens in 2010. But like anyone who comes from an immigrant family knows that

You fight like they're fighters. My family is a family of fighters and they've had to fight their whole lives and I've had to fight my whole life and there's just kind of been there's an overarching thing for my family that they've been in survival mode their whole lives and you know, you have to when you have to come from another country when you have no money, you have nothing except a

three children, three small children. I was a baby and my parents are just, you know, trying to survive. That's what they're spending their days and their nights doing is trying to survive. And like my mom, I wish that you guys could know my mom. Like we wish they could know your dad. My mom is the greatest woman in the world and she is such a fighter. And I got my warrior spirit from her. She has the things that I've seen her go through. It's ridiculous. Yeah.

And so they're just in survival mode, they're surviving. And so I think growing up in a situation where everyone is just doing their best to survive, you automatically, it's like there's kind of no room for feelings, you know? And so, yeah, and it's a beautiful thing because I love the spirit that we have to fight. But obviously fighting is exhausting sometimes.

Or it will become... Sorry, I really don't want to cry, so I'm trying so hard to... It's okay. I try to figure out... Sorry. I try to figure out, like, at what point... I don't even know what I'm saying now. So, growing up in this situation where... Fighter. You're fighting. Feelings oftentimes take the backseat, which resulted in so much, like, avoidance and stuffing and just...

I would learn that like escapism in whatever form I could find it would become my absolute best friend. And so I realized at like an early age, whatever I could find that could either distract or numb or just like lift the burden of whatever I was feeling in any given moment.

I realize like this is good. I really like this. I really like escaping. I really like numbing. I really like running, you know, and I feel like anyone who deals with addiction, you're just running like you are running as fast as you can away from yourself so that you don't have to face anything that you're going through. Yeah.

And so I grow up and I continue this long standing situation of just escaping in any way that I can, which led to all sorts of disorders and like.

addictions and habits and vices and like that's been like the like humor of our friendship is like oh what's Angela on now like what's her OCD doing now what she upsets with now and it's like every all of it is just a way out it's a way away from this so I don't have to see this and

And addiction is really just evidence of inner turmoil. Like it's evidence that your inner world is unwell, that you're in pain and that you're running and that you're numbing and that you're just trying so hard to not have to deal with whatever is going on in here. And so.

again, come in all forms. And so many, you touched on it last week, even this phone is a major addiction that people deal with. You don't just have to be on drugs. And so I think today we'll talk so much about how like

Anybody can become addicted to something. Anybody. And if you are somebody who's saying, but that's not me. I have nothing that I'm addicted to. This episode I'll just watch for fun. I encourage you to ask yourself, what is it that you are mastered by? What do you easily bow down to? What is a thought pattern that you easily resort back to that's comfortable, that feels familiar?

Because the root of addiction is idolatry. It's anything that you put above Jesus, anything, even something that's not damaging or detrimental to your life is an idol. And so we have to work on tearing all these things down and being honest with yourself in saying like,

The phone, the ex-boyfriend or girlfriend that's not good for me, the sexual sin, the friendships that are toxic, the alcohol, the drugs, whatever it may be. These are all things that we have to start to tear down because it will, we have to get to the bottom of it at the very beginning. Yeah. You know? So true. So true. I know. When we were doing this episode...

I think we agreed on it like a week ago. I thought to myself, well, I don't really have an addictive personality, so I'll be the one to like kind of listen, but...

As I really sat with myself, I felt a little bit ignorant as I said that because, oh, yes, I do. And I have it comes in. And like you said, it comes it's not just alcoholism or drug addiction. It comes in so many forms. It comes with your thought patterns. Yeah. And that's where my addiction is. Yeah. My thoughts. And that's been.

The biggest battle for me to work through is, and I love that you said everything goes back to your childhood. It does. It goes back to when you're a little girl or a little boy and your obsessive thoughts can come from abandonment, unworthiness. And that's been my addiction. And yeah, I, and even like,

You're even ignorant if you say, oh, yeah, that would never happen to me. I love that you said that too. I can't even tell you how many stories I have heard. That's why we all have to be so careful. You break a leg, you go to the doctor. They say, here, just that's why I think all addiction comes from deception. You know, you're ignorant to it. And then that's how the enemy gets in. You go to a doctor. They say, oh, yeah, just take this. Next thing you know, you're addicted to that.

Yeah. Again, I love what you said. Whatever you're mastered, mastered by whatever you you can't stop thinking about is what you're addicted to. Yeah, it's so true. You know, can I tell you about the first time that I became because I am not I've said it before, exempt from a nicotine addiction, which is just like, oh, so I remember when vapes came out.

None of us knew what they were. I think I was like, I don't know, maybe 20 when they became like a serious thing. And like in a few years ago when nobody knew what this really was and like people in high school were smoking vapes, like it was just a very normal thing that me and everybody around me.

All of a sudden got addicted to nicotine, having never smoked before. Like, it was just a very weird time when, like, vape started to come out. And I remember just being, like, I think I smoked a vape for, like, two years and just being an absolute slave. Like, waking up in the middle of the night, like, going through a withdrawal period if I didn't have a vape for a certain amount of time. Like, it led to so much anxiety, so much...

Just physical anxiety emotional anxiety like it's so bad for you and then if your body is constantly addicted like the physiological aspect of it where your body is constantly feening for something that it's not even supposed to have in the first place is like so much chaos in your body at all times it's so bad for you and I remember

And I was vaping like before I really entered into a relationship with Jesus. And then I remember I quit during quarantine and I like threw it away. I don't know. I just made a decision. I think my mom told me she's so smart. I think my mom was like she said something that challenged me. She was like, I know you can't do it or something like that. And I was like,

Don't dare me. I can't turn down a dare by the way. I literally please don't dare me to do something bad for me because I'll do it. And so I threw the vape away that day and then I went like a year and a half probably never touching it again.

And then I was around somebody a year and a half later. And I had to go through withdrawals, like it was just miserable. It was so, so miserable, but then I was so proud of myself, I made it to the other side. And then I was around somebody that was vaping. And I didn't know at this point really how addiction worked. I knew alcohol, I will never touch it. I'm good, I'm good. Our breakup was so bad that there's no going back. I know full well that I pick it up one time, I'm back like I never left.

With vaping, I didn't quite know yet that it would be the same exact thing. And actually, me going back to vaping was a really good thing because I remember in that moment being like, oh, this is exactly what would happen if I started drinking again. I hit somebody's vape one time. And imagine a year and a half without having this thing that I used to be addicted to.

immediately triggered my body into putting me directly exactly back into the place that I used to be. So I thought that I was strong enough to do this thing one time, deception. You think that, oh, but it's just one time. Oh, but it's not that big of a deal. Oh, but I'm already healed from it. So it won't be like how it used to be. And it was such a good lesson for me to know,

It says in Scripture, don't let the enemy have a foothold in your life. Don't give him any opening. Don't open any door. And then so after that, I would then result in this cycle of like vaping and then quitting and then vaping. Because I didn't understand yet that I had to give this thing up, that it's not the way my brain works. There is no one time, you know. And for most of us, there is no one time. It's not even worth trying. And then at one point, I was really close to Jesus, really close.

really full in my spiritual life and I had spiritual awareness. I understood now what it felt like to have an idol. I knew what it felt like to be close to Jesus and then have something separating us. And I remember when I was vaping, it was the first time that I was like, this thing that isn't, I'm not on drugs. I'm not doing the, it's not altering my state of mind, but this thing is

is separating me from Jesus. It's not necessarily a sin, but it has separated me from Jesus because I have put it above him. My body needs this thing more than it needs Jesus. And I realized with my spiritual awareness for the first time, I was like, this is what having an idol feels like. And this is what it does to my relationship with God. Yeah. Yeah. It's so true.

Addiction is sad because we beat ourselves up and we're like, I'm different. I'll never come out of this. Addiction all comes because we want to heal. And so we go to that thing because we want to heal. We want to be better. So we self-numb. I grew up around addicts my whole life.

You think even weed, like even something as weed, like you think, oh, like you're having a tough day and you want to come home and you just want to hit the weed or hit the vape or whatever it is. You don't understand how detrimental it is to your mind. I see it. I see it when I go home. It is ruining your mind, your body. Like I am so sick of it. I have lost half of my high school life.

to drugs, to heroin. It is ruining our world. It is the enemy. It is the devil. And I'm sick of it. I am so sick of it.

I think we should really talk about alcohol and drugs first because I know there are many forms and I want to get into the thoughts because the thoughts are such an addiction. It's something that I battled and we can get into. But the drugs and alcohol, I really want to tackle that right now because it is destroying our lives.

It is destroying us. Even when I go out to a restaurant and I'm looking around and I'm just... It's ruining our minds. So true. It's separating us from God. There's nothing good that comes from these things. Even one time, once in a while, when you want to do it, there's nothing good that comes from it. You know, I...

The pills is what is... I see it all the time, too. It's what's destroying our world. And...

You know, you go through, even for me, this is very vulnerable, but I never thought I could be addicted to anything until you're in a place of vulnerability. And that's where the enemy creeps in. And he says, oh, there I gotcha. And you're in this place of depression and you just want to get better and you don't know what to where to turn to. And even when you're praying, you're not getting relief and you're still struggling. So you say, oh, well, I got to go take that Xanax or that pill to help me sleep. Yeah.

You guys, you don't understand. It is just...

You think that it eases you in that moment because that pain goes away and then you wake up and you just feel worse. Can we talk about that? The sin cycle and the drug cycle. Drugs and sin, they're like the same thing. And alcohol, where you are feeling really bad and then you take something and it makes you feel better for a very short period of time. And then when it wears off, you feel so much worse. And then you need to take even more so you could feel better again.

That's exactly what I want to say. You think that that one pill, you take that one pill. Well, then the next day when you're still feeling like that, you want to take it again. And then you take it again. And then you find yourself in this cycle and it's years later. And then you're so reliant on it. And then you've got to take a higher dose. Then you've got to keep going and going. And then you're taking... That's what's ruining us. It's so bad. When really we have...

Jesus said, I will be departing from you, but I will send you a helper. We fail to forget that we have a helper that is dwelling inside of us, that is living with us, that is going to help us, that delivers us, that casted demons out of people, that is right there. You don't think he will deliver you and help you and be there and deliver you from your addiction? Preach, preach. Thank you. We...

We will definitely finish today off with the power that is in the name of Jesus because we are not...

We, everything that we go through is subject to Jesus. Jesus took captivity captive. So please, you guys, let's stop letting something take us captive when we can run to the one who took captivity captive and whatever has you captive right now, Jesus has the power to set you free. He will, he can, who the sun sets free is free indeed. And I love what

what you say about this incredibly toxic cycle that happens with drugs and people just want to feel better. And that's the problem. And that's what's so sad about all of this. And can we go back really quick to what you said earlier about how you think that you don't be so ignorant in thinking that either you one don't have addiction or

Or two, you can never be somebody. Because let me tell you, I never understood the signs of my personality. I didn't understand. I didn't have language to put to it. I didn't know that now looking back, I look at everything and be like, oh, that makes so much sense why I operate this way.

But I never in a million years thought that I would be so down bad, so unbelievably down bad that I was emotionally and physically dependent on alcohol. I never thought I remember being in that situation, being like, there's no way this is me right now. There's no way that I got here.

I was, I'm strong. I'm good. I'm this. I'm that. And then, oops, all of a sudden you mess around and then you find out that we are way more fragile than we think. We are so strong through Jesus and we are incredibly weak on our own. You know, what's important about this is the physical, the physiology part.

Yeah, physiology behind everything that has to do with addiction. I watched something and this is how they put it. So how you said earlier, it's deception. Deception leads to temptation. Temptation leads to sin, which leads to habitual sin, which then leads to addiction. So you don't really oftentimes just become addicted all of a sudden. There's steps to it. You think it's innocent. You think it's harmless. You think it's okay. It's just one time. It's not that bad. All of a sudden...

You are your life is in danger because you're addicted to something that's really bad for you and somebody said addiction is the physical consequence of a constant yielding to temptation You keep choosing to yield your flesh gets stronger eventually eventually your flesh alters your brain chemistry and bodily cravings so we

We, the more that we give into our flesh, Stephanie, Stephanie is going to be on next week. I'm just letting the cat out of the bag there. Stephanie said the most incredible thing I've ever heard. She said either the more you feed your flesh, the less in line you are with God's will because God aligns with our spirit.

Yeah, God's spirit aligns with our spirit. So the more that we give it... And he can't align with our flesh. He doesn't commune with our flesh. So the more we give into the flesh, the further we get from God. And the stronger the flesh gets and the less control we have over it. So you have to...

either never start at all or stop things before they're bad. I want to encourage you guys that if you're in a position right now where you're involved in something that doesn't seem that bad yet, I want you to understand that it will get there. It can and it will get there. So let's stop it before it even starts.

It says in James 1:14-15, "Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions, and when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death."

The more you let something happen, the more you let it grow, the worse it gets, the harder it will be to eventually. Jesus can deliver you from anything, no matter how bad it is. He can and he will. But let's not even get there. I wish. I'm so happy.

For everything that I've been through, everything. But I did not need to go. I could have saved myself a lot of trauma and a lot of scars had I just stopped a little bit sooner because I really did damage physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, you know? Yeah.

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7 verse 19, we read what Paul says. He said, for I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do. This I keep on doing. Now, if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer who I do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work. Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. He says,

For my inner being, I delight in God's law, but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. And then he says at the bottom, thanks to God who delivers me through Jesus Christ, our Lord. So then I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in my sinful nature, a slave to the law of sin.

I just, I see so many people, especially like where I grew up, they're just so, they have no hope. They're like, I've been doing this my whole life. Yeah, yeah.

I'm never going to get out of this. I mean, I have to rely on this. It's too late. I'll die. You know what I've heard, actually? I'll die if I stop doing it. It's just too late. No, it's not. No, it's not too late. I want to encourage you guys because I have a lot of friends who have been freed of addiction. You know, you can be delivered by God. Yes, of course. But that you also need to be in community. Mm.

The 12-step program of AA is an incredible program. You know why I love AA? Because it's spiritual. It's all about God. And then you have a sponsor that can hold your hand. I believe we cannot get through this on our own. We need God and we need community. And another way that is bringing you down that bad road, who are you hanging out with? What environment are you around? Yeah.

Bad company, like scripture says, bad company corrupts good character. Oh, yes, it will. You can be the most perfect person, have never done anything in your whole life. And the minute you start hanging out with the wrong crew, oh, believe me, you can go down a bad road. No matter how much self-control you have, because you are who you hang out with. So I just want to encourage you, everyone, I want to encourage you guys, look at the crowd you're hanging around with.

And so the 12-Stop program is an incredible program. It changed my dad's life. He had someone hold his hand through it, and then he was able to do that for someone else. Some of you guys think you are a lost cause, but really...

God loves these stories because you are about to be a testimony for someone. You are about to help the person behind you because of what you went through. All the addiction that you battled, you'll be able to help someone just like Angela is able to help you guys. So I just, I know how much shame people carry that have addiction because I've watched it my whole life. I really have. And

Little do you guys know, you guys are going to be able to just be such a testimony to others. It's so true. Thank you, Jesus. It's so true. I honestly, I just love the idea of

Yeah.

afterwards or when you wake up the next morning, that shame, that like next day shame, no matter what it was, like literally no matter what it is, that shame that you experience can feel so unbearable. And it's like this daunting feeling of like, what have I done wrong?

what is my life right now, what is going on around me? And then again, you find yourself in a place that if you don't have Jesus to run to, if you don't look for the only one who can bring you that peace,

who can bring you that comfort, of course you're gonna resort back to whatever it is you are going through. Of course you will. I see so many people all the time who get freed, who get delivered, and then they go back and they keep on going back.

And it's just absolutely heartbreaking. And I want you to understand that if you're somebody who keeps going back again, it doesn't have to just be drugs. I don't know if it's a person that you keep going back to or if it's a thought that you keep going back to. But there is the power, the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead dwells within you. And that is a spirit.

of power to overcome whatever is going on in here. You can overcome. Please understand that coming from someone who has given in to my flesh, who has given into the things that were mastering me and controlling me. And then once I had the revelation of who Jesus

Jesus is, it changed everything for me. And you know what I do in moments of temptation, regardless of what it is, I will stand up immediately and be like, no, I'm not going to let this happen right now. Because the second I close, what you conceal, God cannot heal what you don't reveal. He cannot heal for you. And so for me, when I keep things in secret, I know we've talked about it before, but when I keep quiet,

it starts to fester and it festers and I can fight all I want by myself. I can really try my hardest. Like, no, I'm not going to give it. No. And then I do whatever it might be. But if I call somebody and I just get up and I go take a walk and I call somebody and I say something is happening and I'm feeling like this and this is what I'm feeling. Can you talk to me?

There is not, I bet you not 10 out of 10 times you're going to be able to overcome that temptation because you stopped it before it even started. And that's the whole battle. And again, if you're already deep in something, run to Jesus in the middle of your addiction. I don't care if you are in the middle of sin. I'm going to tell you guys something. I have literally been in the middle of sin before.

And then got down on my knees and repented in the middle. And it is the, I can't imagine how pleasing that is to Jesus that I did not let shame get in the way of my reconciliation to him, that I did come boldly to the throne of grace, regardless of what I was doing, regardless of what I was involved in. And that was where my freedom came to be like, I don't care how bad it is. I'm coming to you no matter what.

I love that you say that. I think we're so passionate about this because we're not two girls who are just like, oh, yeah, you can be free from addiction. Oh, yeah, you can be free from sin. We're saying this to you because we lived it. Yeah. We lived it. I mean, I know I say this all the time, but I will never stop saying it because I'm so passionate about it because I watched how he worked in my mind. I truly...

My mind had mastery over me. Truly, since I was just a little girl, never thought I could ever be free from it. And he did because I ran to him. Without that, it's the only way. You will always be a slave to your sin if you don't have Jesus. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

You can't overcome your flesh. I love that you say that. You just have to ask the scripture in Matthew 7, verse 7. Yeah.

all you have to do is come to the door and say, Jesus, I need you. And the door will be opened. God wants to heal you and he wants to deliver you, but you have to just be willing to

And all it takes is the smallest seed of faith. You don't have to be strong. You can be messy. You don't have to have it all together. When I came to him, I was a mess. I couldn't even see straight. But it was just that small seed of faith that I came before him and said, I need your help. And that's truly all it takes is

And he opens that door and he says, I'm ready. Here I go. And it's not going to be an overnight process. And I think the problem is that people are like, well, nothing's happening. I'm still having these thoughts. I'm still feeling like I want to run to these addictions. It might be a battle for you for your whole life. It's a battle for me daily. I battle with thoughts. I have to take them captive sometimes.

I'm like, oh my gosh, am I back here? That's okay. That doesn't mean that he's forsaken me, but he's still walking with me. But it's my decision. It's my choice to fight every single day. Amen. Amen. It's so true. To your point of...

It might feel like nothing is happening. When I was still drinking, I think I met Socrates probably in the beginning of the year. I didn't get sober until November. So that is however many months of me getting on my knees, going to a church, praying every

every single day with it seemingly looking like nothing was happening. So I want you guys to understand that there's a couple of ways that God heals and delivers. Sometimes it's instant. And then sometimes, I don't know, it's the mystery of God. I wish I could give you the exact reason why it's like this, but sometimes he waits and he waits and he orchestrates and he gets all the stars aligned and all the cosmos in order. And then all of a sudden your deliverance happens on a day that you don't expect it.

That's what happened. I did not plan on Thanksgiving 2019 to give up the drink. I don't know why He chose that day. I have no idea. All I know is that I prayed every single day for probably six months, and it looked like nothing about my situation changed. And I was in the middle of my sin.

in the middle of my addiction, but still praying. And then God showed up when he saw it fit. So you pray, like it says, without seizing. You don't stop. You keep going, even if it doesn't look like anything is changing. Please understand that our prayers don't just like happen in the physical. They happen in a world that we can't see with our natural eyes. We pray and it gets released into the spirit where God exists.

orchestrates things and he does things and he moves things and it's not for us to see, but that's where faith comes in. And if I'm being honest, I didn't, I don't even know if I had faith. I don't even, I wasn't praying the way that I pray now. I wasn't praying in declaration like God, I am healed in Jesus name. I was yelling out saying, please, for the love of God, I'm going to die if this doesn't change.

But it happened after a while and it took a while. So I'm begging you to not be discouraged. And even things you guys like my disordered eating where I did pray with faith and I did watch myself and other people get healed constantly. And I said, but God, why doesn't this change for me? Why am I not getting better? That was another situation that did not happen overnight for me, but it took a while.

And yes, there are times where the thoughts go back and we'll get into thoughts. But really quick, do you mind if I just talk about something that I want to read from Exodus really quick? So I've been so we've been I've I've read a little bit about this on tour a couple of times because I just think it's so important. But I want to read it on here today because it's it goes perfectly with addiction. So

I ask you guys, please read Genesis. Please read Exodus. There is nothing like the beginning of our faith, the story of creation. It's my absolute favorite coming from someone who used to only read a page if I saw Jesus's name on it. I hated, I didn't want to read anything that wasn't about Jesus. As we know, this is all about Jesus and all points to Jesus. So there's this story in Exodus where

Jacob and his family entered the land of Egypt because there was a famine in the land of Canaan. And as we know, Jacob is the son of Isaac. Isaac is the son of Abraham. And Abraham is basically...

the patriarch of our faith. He's the one that God made a covenant with that he would be the father of many nations, that all of his descendants would be blessed through him, that his descendants would be as countless as the stars and that he would inherit the land, the promised land of Israel. And so at this point, Jacob, they, they initially welcome Jacob and his family because Joseph, Jacob's son is in a high position of power in Egypt and,

But then when Joseph dies, the pharaoh, the rising pharaoh, he didn't know Joseph. So now they're looking at Jacob and his family, who their family just starts multiplying and multiplying and multiplying because God's promise of you're going to have your descendants will be blessed and multiply is on their family. So they're in Egypt and the Israelites are becoming so many that now they're like overpowering the Egyptians because they don't stop growing in number.

and then the Egyptians are so threatened by the Israelites that they enslave all of them. And they would spend the next 400 years in brutal, horrible, horrific living conditions and doing such hard labor.

And then eventually, it's a long story, and I really encourage you guys to go read it because it's so good. Eventually, God appoints Moses to basically liberate the Israelites from their slavery and lead them out of Egypt through the wilderness back to the land of Canaan, which is the promised land that God promised would be flowing with milk and honey.

And then so many things happened. There's 10 plagues, the Passover, the parting of the Red Sea. I really want you guys to read it because it's rich. It's good. And then we get to this point where it's supposed to take 11 days for them to get from Egypt to Israel. And it ended up taking them 40 years, as most of us know, because of their rebellion and their disobedience to God, because they were their unbelief. They doubted everything that God promised them. They doubted.

Because their situation and their circumstance didn't look exactly like what God had promised. Mm-hmm.

And I think that's what happens with us so often is that usually when we're in a process of going from the wilderness or slavery to the promised land, the middle part doesn't look good. It doesn't look fun. Getting over addiction doesn't feel good. Getting over a breakup isn't fun and it doesn't look like what God promises it's supposed to feel like. And so in Exodus chapter 12, there's this moment where,

I'm sorry, it's Exodus chapter 14, verse 10. It says,

They're saying God literally delivered them from slavery and they're saying we had it better over there because we're in more peace.

pain right now, they literally say, leave us alone. Let us be slaves to the Egyptians. And so many of us are like, you know what? Just let me be a slave to this sin. Just let me be a slave to this bad thought process or my anxiety or my depression. I'm comfortable here. This is what I know. This is what's familiar.

Yeah.

I think about when he says the Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. Just stay calm. The Lord will fight for you. The issues that we're feeling right now, the addiction, the problems, the pain, whatever it is, it's saying it will never be seen again. Once it's gone, it won't, but you have to push past that threshold of getting over it, of removing yourself, of quitting, whatever it might be. And I always, oh, and then there's this one more part that's actually hilarious about

They literally wanted to be slaves again. In Exodus 16, verse 3, it says, if only the Lord had killed us back in Egypt.

God said to them directly, you are going to the promised land flowing with milk and honey. You will never be slaves again. It's going to be so beautiful. And they said, if only the Lord had just killed us back in Egypt. They moaned there. We sat around pots filled with meat and ate all the bread we wanted. But now you have brought us into this wilderness to starve us all to death. And I'm like, there's two things that we can talk about because when people go through breakups, for example,

Breakups are so painful and they're so hard. And that period of pain after a breakup, and it is like a withdrawal period because you're withdrawing from love. You're withdrawing from the presence of this person that you loved. You go through a breakup because maybe you know it's not good for you. Maybe they left you. Maybe God called you to leave the situation because it's not his best for you. And so you're out of the situation and you're in the wilderness.

And if you just endure and if you just keep going, you will enter the promised land. You will come to the other side where God promised you there's healing. He promised you that there's freedom. He promised you there's the spouse that is actually good for you.

But because we can't endure this part, so often we go back. Yeah. And we want to go back. And sometimes we spend years wanting to go back to something that is so bad for us that God himself came down, put his hand on it, plucked us out of...

plucked us out of and delivered us from it but we just can't see it yet he's asking us to look over here but we can't stop looking backwards isn't it funny how we do that it's insane and you can and you can understand with your mind be like no I know this isn't good for me but it doesn't subside the pain that I'm feeling from leaving this situation that was more comfortable you know or I think about going with through withdrawals I've had to withdraw from nicotine and from alcohol

And I know if you've ever gone through withdrawals, it is one of the most painful things that you will ever go through. Any sort of withdrawal, even emotional withdrawal is hard too. But that physical withdrawal of being addicted to something and then cutting it cold turkey.

I know if God delivered me from the land of addiction and he promises me total freedom and it'll be like the Egyptians will never be seen again. My issues that I'm dealing with will never be seen again if I just endure this period of withdrawal and I don't go back to the thing that God delivered me from and I enter into the

promised land where I'll be free from it. But so often, so many of us have the courage to quit something. And then we're just not sure. We think we're just not strong enough to endure the withdrawal. So we go back. Please, you guys, stop going back to the things that God already delivered you from the person, the thing, the drug, the thoughts, even things as little as like

Anything, anything, looking at things that you're not supposed to look, just anything, no matter what it is that is taking up space in your mind, that is hurting you, that's harming you, that's keeping you back, that's keeping you in the past. Let it go and move forward. You have the ability to. Yeah. I think that that enduring stage where it's so painful that you're like crawling out of your skin. That is the that is the the

the time where God gets to work. And I didn't understand that. And I'm telling you guys, I'm a living testimony of the heartbreak and how I was crawling out of my skin for a very long time and how I reached to the promised land because I didn't give up. And I kept chasing the light. I didn't keep going in the darkness. It was really dark. But

But I, one thing about myself and my journey and in my testimony was I was chasing the light. It was so dark, but I was chasing the light. And because I didn't stop chasing that light.

I got to the promised land. And man, thank you, Jesus, that I didn't give up because I am living in the best time of my whole life. Thank God I look at my life sometimes because I know how dark it was.

And what I had to endure, what I had to endure, the pain and the suffering I had to endure. And I look back at those nights and those mornings and it was so dark, those nights and those mornings. But I look at where I am now and I'm like,

Thank God I stuck through it. Thank God I didn't give up. Thank God I just kept chasing Jesus because I'm truly in this place that I dreamt of being. And it's beautiful. I love what you said about, I think you said something about

I don't know, about like comfort in your pain or something like that. Oh, yeah, because it's comfortable. It's comfortable. And familiar. It's familiar. And I know that because I also, I think it goes back again, like how you grew up. Did you grow up in dysfunction? Did you grow up in a lot of like turmoil and pain? Well, if you did, that feeling can become comfortable. So I know like...

For me, even like that became comfort to me. It's all I knew. So if I started to feel love or if I started to feel anything else other than turmoil, I

It was weird for me. And so I would encourage you guys to really that. And you don't even realize that I didn't even realize. And so that's a great thing to really talk to somebody about because we are not meant to live in dysfunction. Our mind is our mind is everything. What we think is how we're going to act and live our lives. If we're going to sit there and let our obsessive negative thoughts control us,

That's how we're going to live our life. How are we going to speak to ourselves? And so that's something I really had to work through this past year is the way I'm speaking to myself because it really was...

It was ruining the way I was living. And the minute I said, no, I'm not this way. No, I'm not. I'm not. I don't I'm not ruled by my anxiety and my fear and my breakup and my depression. No, I'm not. Then I started acting different. Then I started living different. Then my I started walking with my head, my head held higher.

I also loved what you said about calling people, about bringing it to Jesus and then calling people and confessing it. You will not be stuck if you have an accountability partner. So true. It's so true.

Everything that you're saying is the renewal of the mind. Please, if you haven't watched our renewal of the mind episode, that's what I encourage you guys to do. Everything what... I love what Ari said about the dysfunction. And it is true that we accept behavior that is familiar to us. We accept behavior that is...

comfortable. This is all I know. This is how it's always been. This is how I've always been. But I want to encourage you guys that just how we said earlier that addiction and sin and like habitual sin can hardwire, rewire your brain chemistry, that it can change your brain chemistry. You know what can change your brain chemistry even more? Jesus, because he changed mine. He changed Ari's. I watched firsthand what

Jesus did in Ari's mind, the way that he changed her thoughts, the way that he gave her the ability to turn things back, to take them captive, to change the neural pathways to begin with, that you are one way for a long time. And then Jesus gives you the ability to not think like that anymore, but it all starts in the renewal of the mind. And where does that start? Reading God's word, reading it, devoting time, time, time, educating yourself on the living and active ways

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There is no way that you cannot get better and that God cannot bring you out of whatever you're in, whatever addiction, sinful nature you're in. If you are getting up, if you are surrendering it every single day, even if you did it the day before, if you get up and you surrender it every day, you're saturated in prayer. You're devoted to the word of God. You're speaking the word of God over you every time you're in these times of trouble. There is no shot.

that God is not going to bring you through and out of it. Like scripture says, you do not stay there. He walks through it with you. Do not be troubled if you are in a place of despair and sin and you feel like you can't get out. You are going to go through a time where it is not gonna leave overnight. It might be a week, a month. It might be six months. It might be a year.

But let me tell you, with Jesus, he walks through it with you. And honestly, I'm glad he didn't deliver me out of it right away. I'm glad he didn't take the pain and the sin. I'm glad that he didn't take all of the stuff that I was going through away. Because if he did, I would...

not be who I am right now. I would not be so dependent on him. I would not have the hunger to get out of bed so early and be down on my knees and learn about him and his word and what he says. So you know what? If you are still in this moment of pain and heartbreak or whatever you're going through, addiction, take it as a blessing. I love what you just said about why he didn't take us out right away.

One, yes, it developed us in that pain that we went through was crucial to our self-development and our character development. However, God also...

wants us to understand that there are consequences to our actions. If I was acting crazy in sin, being nuts, doing everything wrong that I'm not supposed to, and God just swooped in one day and there was no fallout and no consequence, I might get a little air with it. I might be a little like,

He loves me. It's true. I can do it again. You know what I mean? My fallout from my drinking, like, yes, Jesus, super. I don't care what anybody says. Super. I feel like recently every time I tell people, like, Jesus delivered me, everyone's like, honey, you quit. I'm like, honey, no, I didn't. Like, no, I didn't.

Jesus supernaturally delivered me, and he is so gracious that he let me feel every bit of it to remember. That's right. Don't forget what you had to go through because of the way that you were acting and the things you were partaking in. My fallout after drinking, I wasn't normal, truly. I was not normal for a—

a year afterwards. I was in survival mode, autopilot, disassociated, just getting through the day. I didn't remember my days. The first six months, I don't remember.

I would wake up in the morning and then find myself in bed at night. Like whatever happened during the day, I don't know. I was going to work. I was doing this. I was doing that. I was doing audition. Like I was doing everything and I didn't remember a single thing of it. These were the consequences to my actions. Yeah. You know? Yeah. No. Yeah. Can I tell you something? Anytime that I'm scared or I like, for instance, before I go on stage, I

I have a moment where I am like, oh, I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I have moments of nervousness, especially when we first started. Every time, I kid you not, I bow my head down, I close my eyes, and you know what picture God gives me? Every single dark time, the moment in the shower where I almost didn't make it, all those times where I almost didn't make it through,

And the next picture he gives me is him right there, just with his arms and how he saved me and he got me out of it. And I swear, I'll never forget it, the first time before we went on stage,

I bowed my head down. I got all those pictures and I just opened my eyes with the biggest smile and that light in my eyes. And I looked up and I said, thank you, Jesus. I would never take back one of those moments that I went through, those dark moments, everything that I went through because he, he, it's, it's,

It's just a testimony. He showed his true power of what he does. And honestly, it kept me so hungry for him. Yeah, of course. So, yeah. So good.

Ah, Jesus. I want to speak to something that I think is just heavy on my heart. And a lot of us women go through it, and I'm sure some men go through it as well. But do you guys mind if we talk about the toxic thing that we do with the phones and with the stalking and with the looking and all of that?

I know I've done it in the past. I know that I've gone through, I know that I've gone through a breakup and been legitimately addicted to looking at my exes, whatever, stalking their life, seeing where they're at, what they're doing. Like it makes me sick to think about takes up your whole life. And I'm, I,

I know to some people it might be like that is so weird, but I know to some people you know exactly what we're talking about, where you from the second you wake up to the second you go to sleep, your fingers are there waiting, you're following what this person is doing and it is making you sick.

Ari and I are here to ask you today to delete every burner account, to delete every fake profile, to pray your heart out that God would give you the self-control. He gives us a spirit of not a fear but of power, of love, and a sound mind, which means self-control. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. It's something that's a gift given to us by God that we need if we want to do anything good in life.

And yes, God will give you, deliver you, take care of you, do everything for you. But self-control is up to you. And I'm asking you to have the self-control to not look anymore, to not put yourself in positions that hurts you and makes you sick.

stop looking at the past. That is an addiction in and of itself. And we see our friends and people that we know go through it all the time. And it literally makes you sick. And you know what else? I love that you say that because God is going to meet you and he's going to help you. But if you continue to self-destruct and look back and stalk and worry and

How is God going to bring you your person, number one? How are you going to be able to be fully submitted to God when you are still looking back at what he so very carefully took away from you? And believe me, I know. Me too. I know. I know. Don't tell him. Don't tell him. But, you know, I've had moments where I have...

I'm still in chaos. I'm still, I'm not feeling good. Well, what are you doing? You have to really, and sometimes, you know what's crazy? We don't even realize that we're doing it. We're like, oh, we're in the day. Oh, and we don't even realize how detrimental it is to our mind and soul and how much it's key.

keeping us back from the things that God has for us. But God isn't going to bring you what you need and what you desire until you lay it down. And I know it's so difficult. I know it is. It's very difficult. And I want you guys to give yourself some grace today.

You're going through heartbreak. You're just, you don't understand. But in order to be truly set free, it starts with that. So thank you for saying that because social media is truly, everything's right there. It's so easy to have access. It's so easy to see. And it's really difficult. It's so hard. It's so hard. You know, just addiction.

The thing about addiction is like all of us. That's why when people say like, I'm not an addict or I don't have addict problems, every addicts are just worshipers. They're just really good worshipers. Every single one of us are hardwired for worship. We all Jesus made God made us in his image. He made us believe it or not. He made every single human on the planet with the intention of having a relationship with them.

So we are made to worship. We're made to worship God. But through the fall, through sin entering Adam, we, everything got mixed up. So a lot of us don't worship Jesus because everything's skewed and perverted and wrong. And so worshipers...

Worshiping is being addicted to something. It's how I'm wired. It's how my brain, it just works like that. I'm all in. I'm all or nothing. I love my friends and my family and the people that I love. I love them in a way that's like sick. I don't know how to be any different. I'm very intense because it's the way that I'm hardwired. I have the ability to channel all of that

into my relationship with Jesus. Every single one of us, if you're struggling with addiction, you have a worship issue. You're worshiping the wrong thing. And if you are turning to numbing, you guys, regardless of if it's drugs or alcohol or sex or porn or masturbation or gambling, shopping, food,

Anything, anything that you're turning to overindulging in or indulging in the first place, anything that you're using to numb and mask, we're giving you permission today to give yourself permission to let yourself be set free, to make the decision from this point forward to first be aware and

And be proactive and be proactive in knowing when I get sad. I know for me, when I get sad, when I'm in a bad spot or something bad happens to me, I know that I am. I'm I'm it's it's all up for grabs at that point. I can go to something. I must be proactive in going to Jesus because God knows where I'm going to go if I don't.

So I'm inviting you guys, when you want to go to numb in whatever way you want to pick up this thing or that thing, or even picking up this phone or the video game or the TV show, choose Jesus instead. Just try begin and you get stronger as you go. And you won't, you might not be successful every time, but make a pact with yourself in saying, when I'm in pain, when my initial reaction is to go numb with something, let

Let me turn to scripture. Let me turn to worship. Let me fall down to my knees no matter where I am and cry out to the living God who hears my prayers, who's sitting there waiting for me to reach out to him. Choose to do that. You initiate, draw near, and he will draw near to you. I love that. And can I just say something? Because thank you for saying that.

I know that feeling when you are in such a... Your mind is spinning and you can't function and you just want an escape from the pain that you're in. I know that feeling oh so well. And I'm telling you, this is someone who like literally I couldn't deal with it. Like I...

You just want to take a hit of that, whatever it is, the pill, the whatever, whatever numbs your pain. I can't believe sometimes that I have found a cure that...

Is not in substances. Yeah. That I have a father who literally I can not go to my knees, cry out for help. And all of a sudden he fills me with that peace that surpasses all understanding that he can literally take the pain away that you want to escape from, that you think it's in a substance. You don't need it. Do you guys understand?

I never, I'm telling you this because I lived it, because I used to think that the pill was going to just ease my pain, that I needed that because it was in my genetics, that nothing was going to take it away. Only that, only that pill that was going to take it away. No, Jesus does that. The power of Jesus Christ of Nazareth does that. You guys, I'm telling you, I, I,

I was someone who literally like I crawled out of my skin daily. It was awful the way I lived my life. And now all I need is the power of Jesus Christ. I cry to him for help. He's there like that. Oh.

So good. And I love what you just said, because it's so important because there's this thing that happens. And I think we all know when you are about to enter into a weird situation where you're going to do something, fall into some sort of addiction. There's this moment that is so demonic of like total blackout.

where you lose control over whatever you're doing. And that's why when you blame addicts for things or whoever, you blame someone who's doing something that's like, oh my God, she's so weak. He's so, he's just like, what are you doing? It's like, there's this moment, you know what I'm talking about? When whatever it might be, whatever your thing is that you're not supposed to do,

right before it's like you fight for a second, you fight, and then all of a sudden it's like blackout and you lose motor function. And it's like you're just, it's so demonic this time where you're on autopilot. You don't even realize what you're doing anymore. It's the enemy because when you're in such a vulnerable place like that, he's septic to get in. He's done it to me since I was a little girl. Thank you, God, I didn't run to substances. Thank you, God. And if you are someone that is running to substances,

Run to Jesus. You don't understand. That is the only answer. And he will deliver you from it. He will deliver you from it. You don't understand the life that you have waiting for you on the other side of this addiction. It's it's he has something so beautiful for you. Yeah.

And even if you want, even if you think like just, you know what, once in a while I'm just going to hit the weed pan or whatever it is. Yeah. It does nothing for you, you guys. Can we talk about that really quick? Anyone who thinks that the...

Listen, you guys, I love you so much. I love you so much. And I love you so much that I want you to be so unbelievably mature in your faith. That is like personally on a personal level. That's my number one goal with you guys is to get you mature in your faith, to get you so strong in it that like, you know, you know, you know what you know and you know that you know and you don't go back on it. Can we be honest about weed and psychedelics and these things that even amongst Christians,

is a conversation and a debate where they're like, but weed isn't a sin. It's not that bad. Really? Yeah, of course. Who says that? I'll tell you later. So many people, so, so many people. And it's just like,

weed, like Ari said, will do nothing for you. Give it up. It is. Live a life. Live a noble, good life. We're here today to let you know that it's lame. It's lame. It's bad. It's detrimental. There's nothing good about it. It's never going to do anything good for your life. And with the numbing, there's been something that's really been on my mind recently. And I want to be so careful with it because...

There are some situations where medication for anxiety or depression, especially for, you know, more severe mental health disorders, is very good and it's very important. Absolutely. Yeah. However, and I know situations where there are people who are 19 years old experiencing anxiety for the first time in their life. And the first thing that they do is go and get on a medication. Yeah.

And I am so passionate while treading carefully because I know that everything is nuanced and it's not a one size fits all. But I know personally when I developed anxiety, yes, Jesus healed me. Yes, he delivered me. I also learned how to deal with it through time. And it didn't happen overnight. I started having panic attacks when I was 19. I'm not 100% free of panic attacks. In fact, I have them more times than you guys would probably imagine, right?

But I've learned to deal with them. It's been however many years that I've been dealing with this issue. And you start to understand, okay, it's coming. Now I have tools. What am I going to do? I also am not afraid of it anymore because I used to think it was going to kill me. But now I know it's not going to. So it doesn't get any worse. Yeah.

So when you immediately go to the medication or the weed or because when people argue like weed, it helps my anxiety. You need to help your anxiety. Jesus needs to help your anxiety. You need to understand how to work through it, get to the root of it. And we have to stop masking things off.

I know why you want a mask. I know why you want to numb and I know what it feels like. And I know that nobody else understands. And it feels like you're the only one who in the world who could possibly feel what you're feeling. But the truth is you're not, you're not alone. So many people feel that way. And it's up to you today to be strong enough to understand the power and the strength that you have in your body because of Jesus.

to withstand these things, to work through them, to get through them and to not turn to things. We have so much faith in you more than you could possibly imagine. I know that you will be able to be delivered from whatever your addiction is. I believe that you through the power granted to you by the Lord Jesus Christ, that you will put it down today.

And I know that you will become, you will be in agreement with Jesus as opposed to this thing. So congratulations in advance for what you're about to accomplish. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that you touched on the medication. Yeah. It's something that I really, I don't know. It's...

I think medication can be, like you said, great, but it doesn't take away the problem. And that's why there's more medications in the world than ever, right? But there's more mental health issues than ever. And why is that? Because the minute we have a

problem or we experience depression or anxiety and we go to a doctor they say here take this you have OCD oh here take Adderall oh here and it's making us worse it's actually making us worse we have to deal with these problems um

Yeah. And honestly, I'm going to say it again. Therapy, you guys. So good. Therapy is amazing. Therapy is going to help you go back to when you're a kid to unravel the things that you don't even know what's going on right here. Yeah. So try these things and these practices before we go to the medication. So good. Please do.

Matthew 9.35 says, Addiction is a disease. Addiction is a sickness. And Jesus has the ability to heal you and deliver you. For that to happen, you have to invite Jesus into your life. You have to accept him. You guys have no idea how much he loves you.

I don't know if you've ever watched us before or listened to us, but I want you to know our background is not in the church. Our background is very much in the world in doing everything that everybody else is doing.

Jesus was not a staple in our lives that brought this sort of healing and transformation because we weren't aware. We didn't know that everything the Bible says is real and that it's the truth. But we've come to know and we live to testify to the truth that Jesus is real. He has changed our lives. He's healed our minds. He's delivered us and he continues to deliver us. And by the way, he's so good that then he blesses us.

and He gives us favor and He loves us and He comforts us and He is just the greatest, most beautiful, magnificent thing in the world and He's alive and He's real and He's been searching, chasing you your whole life. He has been wanting you and this moment it is no coincidence that we're sitting here right now because He wants you right now and whatever you're going through, your freedom is on the other side of this prayer.

And so we want to ask you guys to invite Jesus into your heart, to invite him as Lord of your life. And it is the greatest life that you will live. Not perfect. You'll know that if you watch us more, it gets hard. Life is hard. I'm just not, I'm not magically rid of everything in my past. There's things that we deal with. There's things that we battle, but there's

power that is in the name of Jesus. And there's grace, which means unmerited favor. It's protection when you don't deserve it. And that comes from Jesus and having the Holy Spirit in your life, who is the spirit of truth, the spirit of comfort. He will come. The Holy Spirit can dwell within your heart and all around you at all times. It's protection. It's love. It's the greatest gift of all time. And that's our salvation. So we invite you guys today.

to pray with us and receive salvation and get free from the things that are holding you down. Enough is enough, truly. Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I'm a sinner and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe you died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite you to come into my heart and life. I want to trust you and follow you as my Lord and Savior. Baptize me in your Holy Spirit.

In Jesus' name, amen. If you just said that prayer for the first time, welcome to the family. You're so loved. We love you so much. We love you guys so much. I just wanted to say one last thing before we end this episode.

We battle addictions, but then we can be on the other side of it where we have a family member or a loved one that is an addict. And we suffer actually just as much as the addict. Sometimes we're even a sicker because we have to deal with it without substances. So I just want to touch on that. I was someone who dealt with an addict. And for many years, I...

blamed myself. I suffered. I was so sick. I was, I was like trying to fix them. And there's things that's the three C's it's you didn't cause it. You can't control it and you can't cure it. Wow. And so I just, I want you guys to understand that, um,

We live in this guilt of, is it my fault? Is there something I can do? How can I change them? How can I fix them? And the truth is, is we can't change it. We can't change them. It's not our fault and we can't cure it. The person that you might be dealing with, whoever it is,

they have to be willing to do it themselves. And I know so many of us are in these situations are like, well, well, there must be something I can do, or maybe it's my fault that has nothing to do with you. Like Angela said, it's a disease and you didn't cause it. And so I know some of you are probably in this position and a marriage, a family member, I don't know what it is, but, or maybe one of your, a child that you have is dealing with this. Um,

It's not your fault. Al-Anon is honestly a great community that you can go to. There's people that go through just what you're going through. And it's also a very spiritual thing. And so I would encourage you to get involved with a group. Yeah.

that you can go to that people understand because it's very confusing when you have someone you love so much that is battling this and you think that you caused it or why can't I cure it? So I just want to let you guys know that it's not your fault. Thank you so much for saying that, God.

That just freed so many people because let's just speak to the parents who have children who are suffering with addictions or deep, deep in sin. It is the scariest thing. I know how painful it is. I think there's nothing worse than having somebody you love in pain. I know that you would rather have that illness or that disease or that addiction in your own body instead of your child's or the person that you love because you love them so much.

But please understand coming from someone who also suffers with savior complex where you think that you control everything around you and you have the ability to save the people around you and it absolutely wrecks your life and destroys your peace and your joy.

Remember that Jesus loves your loved one even more than you do. And all you can do is pray. And don't ever stop praying and pray in faith and pray expectantly. But understand that regardless of the outcome, regardless of what happened, they belong to Jesus. And Jesus is in control. Yeah.

Yeah, prayer. That's all you can do. And we forget how powerful prayers are. Prayer is everything. Just don't stop praying. Pray for yourself if you're in addiction. Pray for your loved one. And as long as you're praying, that's all that matters. That's all that matters. All you can do. And no prayer goes unheard. Never comes back void. Never does. Never.

We love you guys so much. So much. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being here with us. Thank you for being who you guys are. We believe in your freedom. We believe in your strength. I know.

No, I'm not worried about you guys at all. I'm really not. God loves you so much. He loves you through your sin. He loves you through your addiction. He loves you through it all, through all your messiness. He loves you, and he's right there waiting for you. He loves you. He hates your sin. Yeah, I was just going to say that. He loves you. He hates your addiction. He loves you. He hates everything that hurts you. Yeah. That's why he's going to...

Deliver you from it. I'm excited for you guys. I really am. I'm excited for you guys. Let's go. I feel the breakage that is about to happen in your lives. So much breakage. And please keep us updated in the comments because they literally make our lives seeing these comments being like, oh my God, I'm freed. You have no idea. After this episode, I went and it truly makes our lives better. We love you guys more than anything. Thank you.

May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face towards you and give you peace and so much freedom. In Jesus' name, we love you.