Nori Reed is Moving to Tokyo
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I find it humiliating that I deeply identify as a cis man. I feel very much like a man and it makes me sick. What does, can I ask you, what does being a man feel like? It's awesome. Nori, just immediately I want to talk about something that you do to me. Oh my god.

What? You pretty much, you cornered me at my house party. Oh my God. And you pulled out your estrogen and you said, you're trans. And you do this to me once a week. Well, when the signs are there. Okay. You think I'm an egg? I think you...

Okay, so you already know all the terminology. Baby, I hang out with a lot of trans people. You know this. And that's one of the issues. When 95% of your friends are trans, honey, you go, wait a second. Do you think it's... Have you even considered that I'm just a beautiful, incredible ally? Well...

everything up to Ally. Yeah. I think you're beautiful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you're incredible. Yeah. Woman. And it's just, there was a picture I saw of you and you're like, you're wearing this gorgeous wig and you kind of look like

Every like like the perfect fantasy of like a Midwestern mom. Yeah. Do you know I'm talking about? We do. Yeah. And you look so beautiful. Yeah. And it just kind of it clicked for me. Yeah. At least for me. I don't know for you. Yeah. Yeah. OK. Do you think you would ever be able to accept accept me as a man? Just a beautiful man. I do it every day. Oh, do you? And it's hard.

Yeah, every day. I just think that's interesting that you're accepting me as a man every day because sort of every day I'm hearing from you, you can borrow some of my estrogen. Yeah. Just go to this person. You're trans. You're transgender. Well, I mean, it's my duty, number one. I think that as a trans person.

I mean, I didn't realize it was going to be coming out today on this podcast. Oh, my God. I haven't talked about this publicly at all. Oh, my God. We don't have to. If we could cut this. We'll start over. Let's start the episode over. Hold on. Yeah, I haven't come out. I love that you're cis. Thank you. Oh, my God. Yes. Yeah. Well, it's funny because, like, you know, comedy is kind of...

Did you guys talk about comedy on this podcast? From time to time, yeah. Okay, okay. It's like changing. I think like it's getting... Things are kind of... The industry is changing. Well, the woke left is destroying it. It's destroying Jerry. Yeah. Our friend Jerry. Yeah. I talked to him this morning. Did you? Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, I thought you guys had that falling out. No. Oh, okay. I love him. It's just he said something at lunch that... Yeah, I guess I'll have to... No, we got coffee. Oh. In a car. But...

Thank you. Thank you. No, but like things are changing. I think I might be going in a more like Christian direction. Oh, honestly. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of money in that. Yes. What does that look like for you? Can you give me some of the Christian material? Well, you know, it's kind of like, hey, like you're the audience. Right. Okay. Hey, Sacramento. Hey.

Well, that's a good market to, yeah. Okay. Good. Hey, Sacramento. It's a Nori. It's your girl Nori. Oh, it's a set. Yeah. Okay. I'm kind of doing like front facing. I don't know what. Yeah. Yeah. God lives everywhere. Okay. And it's not crazy. No.

That's the joke? Okay, I'm working on the punchline. I'm still figuring it out. Yeah, no worries. I think that's a beautiful start. Thank you. And you've got kind of an in on that. You're a Kentucky girl. From Kentucky. From Kentucky, baby. I'm from Kentucky. I was raised very religious. I'm from Christian County, which is the name of the place I'm from. Yeah, you're from Jesus is Risen Township. I'm from Jesus is Risen Township, Christian County. God, no.

God-tucky. God-tucky. Yeah, of course. So it's there. And I kind of want to do like a full circle kind of return back. You and I have a lot in common. I love that. We have so much in common. And I think I was immediately connected to you. You're from Kentucky. I'm from Missouri. We both grew up in sort of religious communities. We both ended up being queer and pretty... Funny. Pretty funny. Pretty funny. But how do you feel about Kentucky? Do you have a love for Kentucky? Do you despise Kentucky? Well, okay. Yeah.

I haven't? Okay. Okay. I mean, the last time I went back, and I guess we're just diving in here. Yeah, we certainly are. I guess we're... Because I think I know the last time you went back. I thought we were just going to be talking about liquid death. Oh, and we will. I love their water. The last... Speaking of death, my...

The last time I went back was when my dad passed. Another thing we have in common. Another thing we have in common. And so it's a hard place for me. I went back as trans and my mom or dad before he passed, neither one of them had seen me as trans. And I'd just gotten...

Like top surgery, like breast augmentation. Brost? Brost. Brost augmentation. Brost augmentation. And like the same week, I had to go back home to see my dad before he passed, which is pretty intense. Yeah, I would say it's definitely somewhere south of lighthearted. That's more of the intense place. But I will say that like...

I was really worried about even just like the luggage because like after you have surgery, you're not supposed to like lift anything. Yeah. But like when I went on the plane, even before I could try to lift it, all these men were like, let me help. They're like, miss, miss, miss. Because, you know, I had the new boobs. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. Thank you. Being a woman is so beautiful. It's so beautiful. Yeah.

It is. Yeah. It is. Yeah. And that was the last time you went back to Kentucky. That was the last time. And it's a weird place for me on so many levels. It is such a beautiful place, though. That's what makes it so hard. It's like I feel like queer people, like when we can't go back home to places that are like really like hateful towards like.

us like it's it's like beautiful yeah it's like physically like such a beautiful landscape such a and I'm like that's it is funny watching queer people who for any any reason have not reckoned with home or have not been able to reckon with home yeah it is funny to watch us pretend that there's not anything good about these places like it is funny to watch a gay person who hates Missouri being like

There's fucking nothing. And then you go and it's like beautiful rolling hills. Gorgeous barbecue. Gorgeous barbecue. Yes. Big wide streets, easy parking. And just watching us. Because I did that for a number of years. There were a number of years where I definitely raged against home and where I'm from. I was like, I'm too fucking good for this place. And every single trip home that was just easy and beautiful and delightful, I just kept more and more being like, this place is bad.

You know, I'm like falling into a beautiful rest. I'm like, oh, this place is so bad. Enjoying the best rib I've ever had in my life. Yeah, it's like that. And the people also are nice. That's what's so crazy is that even though they don't believe in our lifestyle or like whatever, whatever, like to your face...

It would be the nicest person you ever met in your life. Oh, yeah. Like, so sweet, so hospitable. The moment you leave, it's like, that shit is going to hell. Oh. Ha ha ha!

I think we'll keep that in. Please. I think we'll let that stay. If we could just lead with it. Cold open. Can we get cold open? Yeah, CO. That. Nori saying that. Nori saying the T slur. And you can say it too if you want. Nori. Oh. No, I can't. Oh, yeah, not yet. Not yet. Uh.

You and I have traveled together a little bit. Yes. In our gorgeous, beautiful friendship. And I love traveling with you for a very, well, a number of reasons, but a very specific thing I love traveling with you, a very specific thing I love about traveling with you is that you are so knowledgeable about art. Like going to a museum with you is at once stressful because I know you're going to take it in.

in and I'm a kind of a I'm a hit and run museum goer yes where my headphones in Frank Ocean's Bond album on I say I go beautiful beautiful beautiful and I keep it moving you're an appreciator you're an understander you'll from across the room be like that is a go yeah and that was basically so he was in an era of his life where he had just been hit by a

He wasn't by the bus. And there were buses. And he'd been hit by the bus, and so then he went into the hospital and he was painting. And you know everything about art. Yeah. I feel. I love that. I know exactly what you're referencing. We went to the Louvre together in Paris. Yes. And it was such a funny, like, the difference was so hilarious. Yeah. And, like, yeah, it's true. I have an art background. I mean, I studied art in college, double major was, like, psychology. Yeah.

Get a girl who can do both. Sorry, y'all. It's just how it is. And does everyone look directly to camera? You definitely have more of an affinity for it than most. Yeah. I want to talk to your audience. Do you go to Kent State? Kenyon College? Where'd you go? I went to Kenyon College in Ohio, liberal arts, where they teach you how to learn, which is...

Expensive. It's fun. I went there on a scholarship and the first day, like the orientation, the like head of, you know, the top dean or whatever the fuck, I don't know, not the president, but like the top dean came out and was like, here we will teach you how to learn.

And I was like, I'm never getting a job. Yeah. I was like, well, I was like, I guess I'm never working in my life. He said that and you said, oh, so I won't be working. I was like, I have to be a professional clown. Got it. Got it. Got it. Because it's like, it's a rich kid behavior. It's very like, because all those like rich kids, like they know that. And if you are a rich kid out there, like I love you. I respect you. Would do anything to be in with you. Yeah. Love you. These rich kids. It's yeah. They, so.

They're there for fun. And then like after the degree, it's just connections. Yeah. So they don't, you know, you don't really actually have to learn skills or anything. You just have to learn how to learn. You have to learn how to learn to network. Yeah. You have to learn how to learn to call your friend's dad and say, I need a job. Yes. That's what we're learning how to learn about.

Here's my question for you. What was your experience of us at the Louvre? Because you started to mention that, and I thought that was going to be pretty intriguing. Were you going to drag me? Well, no, I'm not going to drag you. The experience was, you know, if I were to stand in front of a painting for maybe like a minute, you would maybe like...

A quarter of a second. It's kind of like you. We were in this one gallery and it was all the Da Vinci's. Because in the world there's four. This was very special. If I can just with my fingers, it was kind of like, if this is me and I'm just standing in front of it, if I can just go to Caleb. This is...

It was just kind of like a... Well, let me tell you something. Yeah. About the Louvre. Okay. Okay? It's fucking stressful in there. It was. There's all manner of white people who don't know how to behave. They're pushing me around. They're shoving me. Yeah. Oh, excuse me. And they're fucking... And I'm lucky if I get an excuse. They're pushing. Yeah. They're punching. They're all trying to get a fucking snapshot with their ugly ass kid in front of the picture. Yeah.

It's horrible in there. The Louvre is not all it's cracked up to be. I went in there to be a cultured gay man who travels the world. And what I was was bullied and harassed. Yeah, and don't make the people of color invisible. It was people of all origins pushing you. 100%. Yeah. It was multicultural. You know I'll talk shit on people of color. Every nation.

But I will say, my experience was that the white people were particularly bad. Okay, that's true. The thin Nordic white people were particularly bad. If there's a group I hate, it's thin Nordic whites. Is it like, here's the thing. Well, no. They were misbehaving. I'm not going to go there. I will not go there. Should I go there? Go there. Okay, can we talk, okay, like the extremely wealthy, extremely wealthy people from like Dubai or something. Mm-hmm. Ha ha ha ha!

Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. Cut. You're nervous to talk shit on the extremely wealthy? Well, like, you know, like, I think I'm someone who tries to stay very, like, if I'm going to, like, talk shit, I'm like, okay, like, there's, like, a formula. There's, like, a formula of, like, punching up, of, like, you know, if, like, I never want to, like,

kind of bring someone down who like is down or something can i tell you i famously don't believe in that rubric for comedy okay punching down i don't i punching up and punching down is not a rubric i believe in have you already talked about this on the podcast i don't believe i have we talked about that on here i would love to hear more i would love to hear more i don't believe in punching up and punching down when people try to impose that on me as a comedian i go i don't like that and it's not the other people it's it's it certainly helped uh comics

who they're going to talk about. For me, there are people with no power who deserve to be brought down. Yeah. Like I think there are powerless people who deserve to be brought down. For example, if you are like an anti-vaxxer, anti-vaxxers don't have a ton of power in like, we're pretty, we're doing vaccines. They're required for school. They're required for like a lot of different things. So anti-vaxxers really societally are pretty powerless. Uh,

Now, in the punching up, punching down rubric, that would mean that they shouldn't be brought down because they're powerless. But they're fucking morons and I think they deserve to be dragged to hell. Also, punching up is like, there's not always something super poignant or helpful about... I think people think like, oh, if you're ragging on a rich and famous person, then you're doing something righteous. Not necessarily. Yeah, I mean, I'm feeling swayed. Like, I feel...

My body is rejecting it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're allergic to being problematic. My entire system is rejecting it. But I'm feeling swayed because I'm thinking about Twitter and how there's comics who...

Want to get a slam dunk in. Like, they don't really care about the group that they're protecting or, like, you know, like, but they want to make fun of, like, the person who is, like, punch up. Like a J.K. Rowling or, like, a whatever. They don't care about trans people. They want to get a good joke in. Yeah. And so, yeah. And I hate that shit. I hate that. Or a lot because of Punch Up, Punch Down, what a lot of people have done is they've started to...

The weaponization of identity works in many ways. A lot of people are weaponizing their identity for good, for bad. And I use it every day. I know you do. Okay, what? No, I mean, I think there's a degree of it that we all can participate in, but specifically what you're talking about where comics will be, let's just say straight guy comics, for example, one of my favorite groups. Oh, yes. When they want to say something misogynistic that people are kind of catching on now, they'll say white women. Right.

Or Karen. Karen. And they think it's okay because they're punching up at this group who we've all started to understand. White women do have a lot of privilege and power in this society. So if they want to get something misogynistic off, they couch it in being a criticism of white women's privilege or misogynoir or whatever. And it's like, well, you're still just being misogynistic and you're couching it in using the word white. 100%. Yeah. And it's annoying and insane. We need to protect white people. I'm always saying that. I've always said that.

Thank you. You're trans. Thank you. God damn it. Nori, I would love to be trans. Honestly, it would mean the world to me. I mean, I see it. I mean, you're doing well. I think like as your current...

Like, you know, if you were a Pokemon, like second stage, like at your second stage, I think you're doing amazing. Yeah. But if we could just get to that third stage, you have no idea. Yeah. What could happen for you. I would love to be trans. It would mean the world to me. Unfortunately, I think one of the most embarrassing things about me, I find it humiliating that I deeply identify as a cis man. Yeah. I feel very much like a man and it makes me sick. What does, can I ask you, what does, what does being a man feel like? It's awesome.

Nori, it's amazing. Oh my god. I would never recommend it to you, but for me, it's been just beautiful. That... Because I literally, when I think... You know what's funny? I don't really think about being trans ever. Like, I don't, like, think about it or, like, reflect on it. I don't really reflect. Yeah. But...

I've never felt... I don't know what it feels like. Because even when I was like... Because you're a woman. Yeah, before transitioning, I never felt like... But one of my earliest memories is... Well, not earliest, but the boys in my neighborhood would play baseball. And I would just watch... I would participate, but I would hate it. So I'd kind of just stand to the side. And I would just watch them and be like, what's that? What is that? I just didn't understand...

But I guess women can play baseball. So that's where it all gets really complicated, right? Is gender so complicated. But the way that you innately, you can't really place it, right? Like even right there where you're saying, I didn't relate to baseball, so I felt like I was a woman. Or if you're like, oh, I loved wearing dresses, I felt like a woman. Those things we know now because gender is so complicated, they don't necessarily mean that. But there's something innate in you that correctly knows you're a woman. Yeah.

But like the boys were like, they were like high-fiving. Yeah. And they were like getting dirty and like really like liking getting dirty. And I was just so, I was just like very, like the high-fives and the, I just like couldn't even understand it. High-fiving made you trans? Well, not wanting to high-five. Yeah. You know, I think I kind of went really far. I think I took things really far because I just don't want to high-five. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You went to the, you said, I don't want to high-five and you ran as far as you could. Fuck.

And you landed as a woman in San Francisco. Wait a second. I could have just not high-fived. Yeah. I'm going to talk to my therapist after this. This is like one of those detransition videos from one of those psychopaths where they're like, I just didn't want to wear jeans and I went too far. It's like, I don't know. I think you're trans. No, literally. And those videos are so funny to me because I know exactly what you're talking about because they always blame –

There's this imaginary nurse they make up who's feeding them hormones, which it's still very hard to get. No matter where you live, it's not easy to get. But they're like, this nurse...

They create this nurse that is just giving them hormones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like sneaking into their bedroom and injecting them. Yes. It's like that never happened, babe. You really sought those out. And also, wouldn't you have killed as someone who was trying to transition? Wouldn't you have killed for it to be that easy? Right? Some nurse to just be like, come here, baby girl. Baby girl. It's me. I'm wearing a full nurse outfit. I'm like, hey. Yes, I work here. Shh.

Take your estrogen. Yes. It's like the Joker and the Batman when he puts on the nurse outfit. Yeah. Yeah. Why so serious? Why no estrogen? Why no estrogen?

You walk away from the hospital, click a button, and blow up the cis unit? Yeah. I'd love to do that. To blow up a cis unit at a hospital? Absolutely. Okay. Yes. Cold open. Lead with that. Lead with that. I want to blow up the cis unit at the hospital. I love every hospital having a cis unit. It's the funniest thing in my life. Just put the cis people in there. Put them in the cis unit. Put them in the cis unit. Yeah. The SIS unit. They're serving. They're all high-fiving. Yeah.

Your obsession with the high five is a new thing I'm loving. I'm really reflecting on that. Do you like to high five? No. Not part of... No! Nori! She's good, folks. Wow. She's good. Wow. I don't know why I would choose to wear a gray shirt. I'm ultimately going to sweat through this on this episode. Oh, I'm sweating. It's humiliating. Oh, yeah. We're both fat.

We should talk about that. Oh, no. Me. Just me. I'm fat. I mean, yeah, I guess I'm fat. Nori, what did you do? You spilled water all over me. Everywhere. Completely all over yourself. This is me. I want to be real. I want to be real for this podcast. This is me now. I spill things on myself all the time. Hey, y'all. This is Chance, Caleb's heterosexual podcast producer. He's traveling in Europe right now and asked me to relay the following message, and these are his words.

What's up, F-slurs? I have a show in London on July 26th. Get your British arses down to the Leicester—because I guess that's how it's pronounced—Square Theatre on that date. Mobilize on these tickets immediately. Thank you, K-lebrities, K-lesbians, Kale-Britons, and all cohorts of the So True Universe. How do you feel about being fat? Ooh. Ooh, complicated. I mean—

I've worked really hard to love and accept myself radically. So at any version of me I'm trying to love, no matter who I am, would I love to be skinny? Would you? Huh? Would you love to be skinny? I don't think I believe in radical self-love, by the way.

What? Yeah. Wait, what are you talking about? I think it's bad. What do you mean? Well, a lot of people... Like loving yourself is bad? Yeah, I mean radical self-loving yourself however you are, a lot of people need to change. Yeah, oh.

Not you. I think you're great. But don't you think... Well, yeah, there's some people in my life who they could change. I think if everyone walks around going, I'm going to love myself exactly as who I am, I go, I don't know about it. Well, you know this about me. I dropped out of therapy school. I was going to be a therapist. Yes. And so the way I feel about it is that...

That can lead to change. Like loving yourself as you are can help you change the things you want to change. That's interesting. It's kind of a paradox a little bit. Okay, that's really interesting. So you're saying if someone's a narcissist, that learning to love themselves as a narcissist might help them be less narcissistic? Narcissists are its own thing. A special case, yeah. It's its own thing because like narcissists like...

It's crazy because, well, some therapists say that therapy cannot help narcissists. It only enables them. Yeah. So I think, which I don't know if I believe that either. I think anyone can. I feel like anyone can change. I want to believe that. You think anyone can do good in therapy? Even narcissists. I think a narcissist could like, well, then they'd want to have to change. Yeah. And I don't see that. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't think, yeah, I'm not sure about therapy. I definitely see some of my friends needing it. But not you. Well, for me, I've been to therapy a couple times and the overwhelming feeling for me, well, okay, multiple, a few times. Every time I went to therapy, my feeling was like, who are you? And what are you talking about? Like they would say things, or they'd say things so obvious. Have you ever been with a gay man?

Oh, sorry. Oh, therapy. Have you ever laid with a man? Have you ever laid with a man? No. No, okay. Why don't respect gay men? So it would be tough to hear from them. I see that. I see that. Maybe if I had like a trans woman therapist. Really? Wow. Okay. I know one. Do you? But she was bad. Oh. She was so bad. She was eating, she ate cereal. What if she... On Zoom. On Zoom.

She was eating cereal. And she also was one of those like cat ear trans girls. No. And swear to God. No. I was talking to her about like some sort of trauma or something. I can't remember which one. But like some trauma I was talking about. And she was like, imagine you're like a video game character. And I was like, no. I was like, shut it down. Shut it down. X out. X out. Leave meeting. Leave meeting. Right? It was just giving too much like, you know.

You know, like, cat girl. I was like, no. You know, under the screen, she's got a tail on. Oh, she's got an in. Like, in. If you know what I mean. Will you tell the story for the listeners about the therapist you had to break up with because of the crunch? God. What about me and, like, therapist eating? But, like, I had a different therapist. This was a cis woman. And she did not like her very much. She wasn't that great. But she kept, like...

we never really like connected so I wasn't being very vulnerable in therapy and she was like you have to be vulnerable one day she was like you have to be vulnerable nori like nori like be vulnerable and like it was essentially like bullying yeah and like and like I took the bait and I was like okay like maybe she's right I need to be vulnerable and so I shared with her a very intimate detail of my life very intimate and the fact that I've been a

And the moment, the exact moment I shared that, she bit into a cookie. And it was a Milano. Okay. And it made such a loud sound because I think it was stale. And so the crunch that it made when I said that I was stale.

It was life changing. And you fired her pretty soon, right? That was it. That was literally after that session, I texted her and I was like, I can't do this anymore. I didn't say why. I didn't say the cookie or anything. I said something about my schedule. I was like, my schedule's crazy or like something. I know. And she could never, I don't know if I've ever told you that she couldn't figure out Zoom. So say if you're me and I'm her, this is her.

She's looking like three kind of like 13 inches to the left. And I'm like, hey. I'm like, hi. I'm here. And she's like, what? And just looking off. Crazy. That is absolutely crazy. Absolutely insane. Yeah. But you should go to therapy. Yeah. You're really endorsing therapy right now. What do you – you don't like that – so you never connected with someone before.

Yeah, the couple times I've been to therapy, I've just felt like I can probably handle this on my own. And I have. I'm doing okay. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, maybe there's room for enrichment, I guess, but I'm like, things are pretty good. What about life coach? Life coach? My mom sees a life coach, and I have found that person to be a hack.

But I also have found my mom to be open to some things that I've been saying to her for years. That's the other problem is I go, these people just come in and say what I've already been saying to me or to anyone else. They come in and they go, have you thought about prioritizing yourself?

And then I go, no fucking way. Are you kidding? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. That's the easiest route. Duh. Yeah. So they just say the simple thing. I did. Listen, everything you say, I believe. Because I had one therapist who like anything I would tell him, he'd be like, have you gone for a walk?

It was always about the walk. That's another thing. Always. Friends too. With your friends, when you tell them about your mental health and they go, they go, make your bed, make your bed. And I go, you aren't dealing with the shit I'm dealing with. If making your bed is making a dent, you are not in the bracket that I'm in. We're on different kind of things of it. Yeah. I don't want to go for a walk. I don't want to make my bed. You know, like those like little simple things sometimes don't fix anything.

Do you know what though? You're not going to like this. What? To me it's very specific to make your bed but I'll tell you going on a walk and drinking water does fix me.

It really does. And so I rag on this, but at the same time, I know if I go on that walk, for me, it is going to make a difference. And I hate that. I believe... I was just in Japan for two weeks, which I talk about... All I do is talk about Japan. Oh, totally. I'm kind of obsessed. I feel like those white boys that go there when... A white guy who loves Japan is such an archetype. It's... Yeah. It's bad. A white guy who loves Japan, I would love to study them, like Jane Goodall with the apes. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's kind of what I'm giving these days because I'm just like obsessed. But like I was walking at least six miles a day or more, like eating fish, like just like there was like this gorgeous like humid weather. I was so happy and beautiful. And I think a big part of it was the walking because it's just like it just helps you. Yeah, just like get out. My problem with walking is that it's boring.

Walking around my neighborhood, I go, this is boring. I've seen that fucking building. I know that fucking guy. Yeah. I love to walk. When I'm in Europe, I'll walk for 16 hours a day. I don't care. That's what it is. You have to fly on a plane. Yeah, to walk. And then walking is good. Or I'll walk around a city. When I'm on tour and I'm in a city I've never been in before, I'll walk around a city that I've never been. But my neighborhood, I'm like, ugh, I have to work so hard to get it up for that walk. I mean, for...

This walk is not making me hard right now. I'm saying, if I want to get horny for that walk, I have to really, like, really try for it. Yeah, no. To me, that's what inherently is wrong with L.A., though. I mean, L.A. is so anti-walk because it's just the worst place to walk. Why? What do you mean? I think, like, there's no, like, I think in New York, like, if you're walking around, you're seeing things, you're seeing people, things are interesting. If I walk around Highland Park, like, what am I saying, a mullet? Yeah.

Yeah. I want to move to Tokyo. I think you should. That's where I want to go. When's your lease up in LA? It's been up. Are you month to month? Yeah. I think leave next month. I'm serious. That's how I feel. No, I'm 100% serious. Yeah. I know you've got the savings to do it for a little while. I'm trans rich. Get over there. Yeah. I'm serious. Yeah. I love debt. I don't know.

I can't explain. It was incredible. I am not kidding. I think you should go. I think you should put your stuff in storage or have someone sublish your apartment. I think you should get a one-way ticket to Tokyo. I think maybe a month, two months, three months if it's still going well. I think you just stay. I think you go over there and I think you make a little itinerary for yourself of what you're trying to...

experience while you're there makes maybe some books that you want to read i think you go have that experience you'll only be a better person for it you'll be a better stand-up you'll be a better writer you're already great at those things you'll be even better you'll be more realized you'll have more fun and you'll come back and if you choose to come back you'll be like oh i'm so grateful i did that i think go what's stopping you wow this is i love this podcast it's like i feel like you're like you're like really fixing my life go i

The last time I was there, I just said I was there for two weeks. I performed at a comedy club. They have this really funny comedy club there. And there was one Japanese guy in the audience that everyone was talking to. It's mostly foreigners who go to this, but there was one Japanese guy. All these major cities overseas have one comedy club that's like, laughs from Montana, the Americans do stand up. Yes, yes. And it's like that, yeah. And it's like the weirdest people we've ever met because they moved to Japan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was this one Japanese guy and...

I was like just having fun with him because I was like, are there trans people here? And he was like, yes, yes, yes. And I was like, do you like trans people? And he was like, I'm gay.

Yeah. Okay. Not a given. Not a given. It was just so, it was like so cute. Like he was like, Oh, I'm gay. Yeah. And I was like, okay. Like, but do you like trans people? And he was like, Oh, of course I'm gay. What's this accent that you're giving? Is this bad? Is this supposed to be, what accent are you going for? I,

I'm gay. Okay. That's kind of exactly what he sounded like. So you're doing like... I'm kind of spot on here. You're doing like ESL Tokyo. No, this is what he sounded like. Right. I'm not even doing it. It's like, I'm gay. And so what... I'm gay. I'm gay. And what accent is that? Kind of like gay guy in Tokyo. No.

That's kind of the accent. Was he from Tokyo? Yes, yeah. Oh, I thought this was someone who had moved there. No, I'm telling this story so bad. I thought you were doing an offensive impression of him doing an offensive accent. No, no. The audience was all foreigners except this one guy who is Japanese.

Okay, now I'm locked in. Who lives in Tokyo. Now I'm locked in. I'm telling the story so bad. No, you're doing great. I'm so sorry. And like literally like I wanted to know about the trans experience in Japan. So I was just like grilling him. And I just thought it was so funny that like it was like I was like do people like trans people here? And he was like

I'm gay. Like that was his response. Yeah. How is it being trans in Japan? Did you learn anything about that? He said that trans people are kind of like celebrities there and they're kind of like clowns. Okay. And I was like, I was kind of like, uh,

Like, give me two months. I'm going to have like a makeup campaign. You're a famous clown in Japan. Yeah. Like, I'm a gay. And I'm kind of just like, you know, and it's like, you know, like that. Yeah. Like a big photo shoot. You're on billboards. And it says, I'm gay. It says, I'm gay. Yeah. That's the line. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. That's your big famous clown line. Yeah. I'm dead. What do you, well, this brings me to a great question that I ask people on this show a lot. What do you want, Nori?

What do I want? Yeah, what do you want? Here's the truth about you. Oh my God. Here's the truth about you. You grew up in Kentucky. Yeah. You went to Kenyon College. You studied art. Yeah. Then you moved to San Francisco. You studied therapy for a little bit. Yeah. You were in the art scene there. You were doing stand-up. You moved up to LA to do stand-up. You're a very successful TV writer. You've written on multiple TV shows. Emmy nominated, if you could. Emmy nominated, if you could, if you don't mind. You're a very successful stand-up. People love you. Yeah. Everything's going well. Yeah. What do you want? Oh, yeah.

There's a lot that I want. Like, a lot. We've got time. I feel like I've focused so much on career. And, like, I want to, like, there's so many things in my, like, actual life that need attention. Like, dating. Speak on it, sister. It's, like, rough. Like, dating, I hate dating. I think it's, like, really hard. Yeah. I mean, you know, obviously, like, you know, trans women, it's, like, it's difficult.

Transmen pull some hot guys, though. No, of course. I mean, listen, in my day, I was in San Francisco, honey. I was pulling. You were pulling those tech bros. Pulling. There was a micro fleece zip-up.

on your floor every night, I bet. And they love the girls. I know they love the girls. Those nerd fucking nerds. If he knows how to code, he loves it all. Oh, you get it. Absolutely. I know. It's like coding by day. Something. I know.

Chasing by night. Chasing by night. Yeah. See, you got it better than I do. Nori, the campaign has to end. But what do you want? So dating is hard, but what do you want? What are you looking for? I mean. I would love someone who's kind. And that's the thing. You know what's so funny? One of my friends is a very famous trans person. Like very celebrated. Yeah.

She hasn't gone on a date for two years. A lot of trans women that I... She's hot. Yeah, a lot of gorgeous, successful trans women are telling me this. They're not dating. She's successful and she's not dating. And we both, both of us have...

medical trauma like from transitioning like it's it's something that's real and it's something that we don't talk about because we don't want to give ammunition to people who are anti-trans to talk about um people not having access to like surgeries and medication and things that like are trans affirming so like it's something that's not really discussed because we don't want to like give that fuel yeah but um yeah like it

transitioning is hard and I think it does give a lot of traumas and not not because being trans is inherently traumatic because of the world we live in which is so violent towards trans people it just it does something to you mentally like I feel like I know a lot of trans people who are so incredible who have a hard time dating because it is so hard and people are so like did you there was a survey recently that was like

the vast majority of people would not date a trans person. Did you see that? It was like really, and it was just like stuff like that where it's like, it's in your head where you're just like, Oh, like it's really hard or whatever. So it is. I think the proof that we have that transitioning itself is not this traumatic, horrible, uh,

crazy thing. We have proof that transitioning itself to act is like actually a very euphoric and beautiful experience. And the reason we know that is because in communities, like I have friends that have done their entire transition within the loving embrace of like the LA queer community or the Brooklyn queer community. And in those worlds where you only know other queer people and you're fully supported in your transition,

I have friends who had their transition paid for in New York by different groups that they were a part of. When your transition is safe and affordable and you're accepted, it's only ever been a beautiful euphoric thing for my friends who have done that. So that's how we know that the world, the societal impositions on to trans people is actually the issue. Yeah.

Because in focus groups where it is just loved and supported, it's not hard or horrible. Yeah, like I 100% agree. And I feel like something that just is not talked about is like every day those headlines, those anti-trans headlines, those laws that are being passed. When I as a trans person am just getting this feed of anti-trans hate, it does something to you mentally. It is a slow and constant process.

demoralization and kind of like trauma, like, like 100%. And I don't think that's really discussed. Like it's, we're always talking about like a specific act of violence or like if someone's attacked in the street or something, that's like very explicit. Yeah. But people, we, we're not talking about the, just the constant unending violence,

It's just like over and over and over again. And if you're chronically online, which I am, then it's just like it's too much, which I need to get. I need to get off line. I need to like stop online so much. Everybody does. It's hard. Yeah, it's an acid drip. It just it just drips and drips and drips and corrodes over time. And I also think one thing I would say to straight people who are queer allies, even if you know it.

personally in your private life that you love queer people and you love gay people and you love trans people, got to start saying it more because it is... Things are getting real fascistic real quick. And I think...

It's the same problem I have with people that won't come out of the closet is I'm like, you are playing it safe because you get to those of us who are out publicly, those of us who are talking about it. It is getting unsafe for us again. Yeah. And it always will. I mean, that's just it's I mean, I hope not always, but it always has like queer people are always the first group that everyone goes. You guys are the problem. It makes no sense. We bother nobody. We're fabulous. All we do is make incredible art and have fun.

But I think allies need to speak up more because people have gotten into a comfort, especially in New York and LA, a comfort of just being like, well, of course I love gay people. Nobody cares. And it's like people do care. I think the issue is that allies or whatever that means or whoever they are, they're exhausted. I feel like the world right now is so...

fucked up in, like, so many ways that, like, queer people, trans people get pushed down, like, so far in that process, whereas, like, maybe, like, four years ago when, like, the economy was better, like, whatever, whatever, like, there wasn't, like, wars happening all over the country, you know, whatever, like, people had the capacity and space to, like, fight for trans people, and that really sucks as a trans person to feel so immediately discarded. It's, like, the moment things get tough in the world, it's, like,

It's like, well, let's, you know, focus on something else. Yeah. Which like, God, I feel like I'm misspeaking here because everything is intersectional and like it's all connected. Like oppression everywhere is connected. Like every fight is connected. I guess what I'm trying to express is just like,

to feel so disposable is like a really shitty feeling, I guess. Well, it's like in budgeting, the first things to go when the budget gets tight are luxury items. Our industry. Yeah. That's what's happening with our industry. The moment like there's like a budget cut or anything, they're going to be cutting the queer shows, the POC shows. They don't have any to cut. Yeah. They don't have any to cut. They don't make any queer shit. Exactly. There is. Yeah. I think people would be shocked if,

to know they think that being queer in Hollywood is this big glamorous thing. They don't want us in stuff. Their queer characters are so, they are not interested. They don't like queer stories. They actively shoot down queer storylines in writers' rooms. They actively don't buy queer pitches. If they do buy the queer pitches, it's the young execs who do it and the older execs shoot it down before it gets made. There is not a lot of support for queer people in Hollywood. It is actively still very tough to be out and that's why there's so many fucking closet cases in this town.

So many of your favorite straight heartthrob actors are gay. They are gay and they're not saying it because they want to continue to work. And it's not just something we say to be scandalous. I'm telling you, I know so many closeted people in Hollywood because they want to continue to work. And they know what we know from experience, which is that if you're out as trans or gay, it will affect your roles. Yeah. It will affect your work, period.

Because you start to be seen as like a fringe, like a niche element. Yeah. I mean, I can't wait for like, like what if like an actress like that we know and love is like, I'm actually, I'm trans. Ooh. Who would it be? And why? What you're saying, an actress coming out as a trans man? As a trans woman. Okay. I got you. She was stealth. She was stealth. Amy Adams.

Oh, I see what you're saying. You're saying she's already transitioned and we just weren't in. We didn't know. Yeah. I would love for Amy Adams to be trans. I think it's Amy Adams. I wish. I think she's a trans woman. Yeah. Yeah. I love the light in your eyes when you go on a trans campaign for somebody. Yeah. When you try to convince them when they're trans, you just light up in a way I've never seen you before. It just gives me a lot of joy. Yeah. And I just feel like, you know, because her new movie is what's called Bitch. Bitch.

Bitch Dog? Does she have a movie called Bitch Dog? Yeah, she's coming out with a new movie. I think it's called Bitch Dog. I'm pretty sure. I love that. I didn't know this. They're like Bitch Girl. Night Bitch. Thank you so much. Bitch Dog. Bitch Dog. Not Bitch Dog. I think she's coming out with a new movie. It's called I'm Extremely Trans, the Amy Adams story. But in this movie, she's like...

She thinks she's like turning into a dog. Oh. So, you know. And that made you think that maybe she's trans? Allegory. Allegory. Allegory. Come on, allegorical queen. The Matrix was a trans story. I know it. You know. Lily Wachowski is a dear friend. Yeah. Wait, I want to, for what I want, it is a partner and I just want to, you know, I want to just be empowered in it. So can I just have a second? Please. You should date me.

I'm really smart and funny and kind and really looking for someone special. So if it's you, just like reach out. Y'all should date my friend. Yeah. Date her. Thank you. Date her. Yeah. She's genius. She's hot. Reach out. She's rich. Yeah. She's fun. Yeah. She's successful. She's connected. She has everything you could want. I'm good at sex. She's good at sex. Yeah. She's a perfect partner. She couldn't be better. I do have lockjaw.

So, like, oral sex is, like, you know, oral sex is kind of hard for me, but any of the other stuff I can, I'm very, I can do. Dater, y'all. Sex can be so many things. Yep.

Her jaw is locked up. Ow, ow. She's got tetanus. Ow. She stepped on a rusty nail. There was one guy who I was hooking up with and I was giving him head or whatever. Is this this kind of podcast? For sure. Okay. Unfortunately, yeah. And my jaw started clicking. It was so loud, like a loud clicking when you have locked jaw. And he was like, what is that?

And I was like, oh. I was like, sorry. Like, my jaw just, like, hurts. And he got harder. Yeah. I literally knew that's what was going to happen. And I started – the more I was like, oh. He was, like, so turned on. So I was literally just like, oh. Oh. And he was like – he loved it. It's always interesting in – Oh, you're big, man.

Yeah, literally. It's always interesting in sex figuring out the thing that will make someone harder. Right. Like someone's kind of hard and you're trying to get it going for them. Yeah. And then, yeah, you make a noise or you do a thing and you go, oh, that's your thing. And the reveal is always, sometimes it's like frightening. Yeah. I'm like, he wants me to hurt? Yeah. For sure. He was hot. Sex is scary. Hot guys can get away with a lot. I think of my job in the bedroom as kind of like a mechanic.

Like I just run through a checklist of diagnosing. I'll stick a finger in the butthole or I'll, you know. Like an oil change. Yeah, I'll make a certain noise and I'll go, that didn't fix it. That didn't turn the light on. That didn't turn the light on. Check the brakes. Check the brakes. Maybe I'll do a little slap or something. A little nipple. Do a little nipple. That works on a lot of gay guys. Yeah, gay guys like nipple stuff. Gay guys love nipples. They do. They really do. Is it like, never mind.

I have to redirect. I will say when a guy gets too interested in the nipples, I go, oop, boop, boop, boop. Yeah, yeah. Let's just keep it moving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's always something interesting during sex, too, when you're having sex with someone new and they start doing something, they're doing something way too much, and you're going, oh, you want me to do that to you. Just stop. Yes. You can actually stop with the nipple stuff. I'll just focus on your nipples. No worries. That's so true. They're communicating what they want. That's so true. I've never thought about that. I've never thought. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh, I love when it happens. No, it is. They're communicating. I think maybe even sometimes because they're trying to please you. They're trying to pleasure you. And so sometimes subconsciously they'll be like really going out the ear and you'll be like, oh, you want me to do something to your ear? Okay. Okay. I have a lot of weird sex. Ear stuff is not weird. I think it's fine. No, the ear stuff is normal. Yeah, bite on the ear. Why not? I say have a good time. This isn't weird or anything, but I hooked up with this one guy and I'm a big girl. Like I'm okay with it. Thank you. Thank you.

um and he was this like little little guy and he was just flipping and he looked like jeremy um like from the from the bear yeah he was flipping he was flipping me and toss and it was just this little he was buff little guy and he was just flipping and tossing yeah like i was like a

pizza i was gonna say like a pizza maker mama mia like a calzone yeah it was crazy yeah yeah i love that i know i love it i do i don't know if this is cliche or dumb but i do love a short king i i do yeah i do they've had an incredible pr campaign the last couple years yeah oh my god and now that like their representation that like weird looking irish guy yeah barry keegan yes yeah like he's like the new face of it yeah it's a

It's a big dick. It's Jaboukie. Jaboukie really, Jaboukie really short king. Oh my God, he opened those doors. He opened those doors. Yes. And it makes sense that he was the guy to bring short guys into the next century. He's gorgeous. He's very funny. Yeah. Jaboukie's a, yeah, a great representation for the short community. What's he even up to? Jaboukie? Yeah. I believe at this current moment, he's, uh,

filming a movie. I don't know if I should say where, but I think he's filming a movie right now. Yeah. Um, Jaboukie's doing great. He was in, um, I say, I say this like we're very good friends. I know Jaboukie. I love Jaboukie, but we're not like super close friends. He, um, would love to be Jaboukie if you're listening. Um, no, he was in, he was so great in, um,

Come on, come on. The latest Mike Mills movie. Oh, I need to see it. Did you see that? No. Joaquin Phoenix, Black and White. Oh. I love Mike Mills. Mike Mills, if you're listening, I love Mike Mills. Beginners, 20th century women. Come on, come on. I get, you know, I'm sure you do too. I get invited to all those premieres. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Your manager always sending an email like they'd love for you to come. I get invited to all those things and I never go because they're not my thing. The I think I've gone to three one two were friends and one the only non friend premiere I've gone to that isn't a project I was involved in is Mike Mills. Come on. Come on. Yeah, I just I love Mike Mills. I'm going to Tokyo. I do like tomorrow. No, I'm getting out of Tokyo. I'm dead ass serious. Yeah, I'm getting out of this town. I think I'm moving. I love L.A.

But I would love to see you in Tokyo for a little bit. Something I didn't anticipate is that just being surrounded by Asian people, I felt so safe. Are you Asian? Kidding. My dad is white and I...

Can't do anything about that. Yeah. There's nothing I can do. Sorry, I'm going to fucking cry because... I can't do anything about that. I hate that you had to go through that. Thank you. As somebody of white experience, I know how bad it can be. Thank you. But my mom is full on Asian. Like full. Thank you. That's beautiful. When my dad died, I cheered because I said, that's one less white man.

That's how progressive I am. Oh my God. Yeah. I like talk about ally. I said, get him out of here. Get him out of here. I said, take him away, Satan. And that's kind of how it works, right? It's like if one white person dies and you say that, like a person of color kind of comes into the world. Yeah. A diverse story gets elevated. It's kind of like a spiritual experience. I'm hoping. Yeah. My white dad is died too. Yeah. So how did that feel for you?

I'm sis. I think you should go to Tokyo. I think it would be really, really beautiful. Yeah. I really, really do. Yeah. I have a segment for you. Yeah. I want to do something with you. This is a true-false segment. Okay. Now, what I'm going to do here is I'm going to read you 15 statements. Okay. They have an objective true or false answer. Okay. And you're going to tell me as quickly as you can after each one, as quickly as you can, if you think they're true or false, and if you get 10 or more correct.

We're going to give you 50 U.S. dollars. Oh, my God. Okay, okay. This is Tokyo money, baby. Okay, okay, all right. The University of Kentucky's mascot is the wildcat. True. True. AB negative is the rarest blood type. False. True. We have never found dinosaur fossils in Antarctica. False. False. We have. Women first competed in the Olympics in 1964. True. False. 1900. William Henry Harrison was only president for 31 days. True. True. Kirsten Dunst was in the National Guard. True. False. Kenyon College was established in 1824. False.

True. True. It takes sunlight 8 minutes and 20 seconds to travel from the sun to the earth. True. True. Kiki Palmer was born in Russia. False. False. Illinois. I Love Lucy never won an Emmy. True. False. They won five. Nintendo was founded in 1889. False. True. Lady Gaga owns a $50,000 ghost radar. True. True. Carmel never expires. True. False. It is not against the law to escape from prison in Austria. False. True. Owls are mammals. False. False. They're birds. How'd she do?

So how many did I have to get? You needed to get 10 or more. Well, okay. Yeah. That was like hard. Yeah. That was not easy. Yeah. I hate that we had to do it too. It really hurt. You know, and it's a rough time in the industry right now. So I could have really, I really could have used that $50. You're going to Tokyo. Yeah.

Yeah, and the yen is pretty bad right now. $50 in Japan right now is like $500. Is it? No, but it would be like $100. Really? For real, yeah.

I don't understand how currency exchange works, to be honest with you. Yeah. I mean, the U.S. like fucks over like everyone. And that's why that happens. You were almost a therapist, which we talked about briefly. And we have if you want to throw your headphones on, we have voicemails from listeners. OK. Ask for advice. And I think you would be a perfect person to give our listeners some advice. Absolutely. So we asked them, what's something you want to know the truth about? OK. Yeah.

Hi Caleb. Before I ask the question, I just wanted to say, unironically, I think you are incredibly kind and just a very genuine person and I just really appreciate you and your podcast and how much joy it brings me. Okay, anyway, something I want to know the truth about is, am I gay? I know you say your listeners are queer.

quote homosexual and mentally ill and although i am deeply mentally ill i don't know if i'm gay or not but for debate let me know bye have you ever heard a sweeter energy on a person by the way what i mean and that you know that that does give me my first clue yeah um if i can be honest uh someone that's sweet

Not gay. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa, what? Oh, I just thought you were going to go gay because it's one of your biggest things. I don't think gay people are sweet. There are some sweet gay people. Who? I'm sweet. Oh. Well. Right? Yeah. Aw. Yeah. You don't think I'm sweet? No, you are sweet. But I think there's a complexity to that sweetness that is multi-layered and complex.

Whereas this person is sweet in a way that feels to me a one layer of straight. Yeah. Okay. I think I agree with you, ultimately. I do not think that you're gay, caller. I think the reason I don't think you're gay, there's a misconception going around about gay these days. Oh. There's a misconception going around about gay these days. I want to clear something up for a lot of people. Gay is a sexuality. Okay.

It's not a vibe. It's not an outfit. It's not a neighborhood. It's not a taste in music. Yeah. It affects all of those things, but gay is a sexuality. And this does kind of apply to non-binary as well. I think opposite. Non-binary is exclusively a vibe. Non-binary is a feeling. Non-binary is a neighborhood, an outfit, and a taste in music. I think gay is a sexuality. Baby, if you eat...

You're gay. Do you watch Sex and the City? Of course. There's a gorgeous episode where Charlotte goes to that gay party. She's like, honey, if you're not eating, you're not gay. Yeah. And I loved her. I loved her. I got my feelings really hurt by myself last night. Why? Why?

I was watching Sex and the City with my friend, and I decided to post on my Instagram story and say, what Sex and the City girl do you guys think I am to my followers? Oh, can I try before you – can I try? I'm, like, really honestly scared to let you try because it didn't go well on there. Yeah, you can try, but I'm just going to be upset if you say – there's two names I don't want to hear. Well, for me, my – you are complex. I'm getting some taste of everything, but I'm going to say Charlotte. What? Like –

What? You believe in love. You love love. You're very love-driven. I'm going to fucking throw up. You have an ideal about love and people. I'm not, Charlotte. What did they say? People said all kinds of fucking things on there. Oh. I put up originally it was a poll. I'm going to fucking cry, dude. You don't want to be Carrie? Yes, I do.

do no who wants to be Carrie oh my she's like a fucking sociopath she's the fucking lead yeah but she's the main god she's not good to her friends right she's terrible to her friends she thinks she's funny right she thinks she's like funny and smart check I put up a poll that said do you who do you guys think I am Carrie Samantha Miranda Charlotte what happened what happened was so dastardly

Samantha, out of the gates, hundreds of votes. I have a lot of followers. Hundreds of votes. I don't see that. That's wrong. Carry in second place, which I should have been a carry. I'm fucking clearly a carry. Then a close friend votes Miranda. Miranda.

That uptight bitch. I hate Miranda. No, you're not Miranda. She fucking, she was so mean to Steve. I know that ass. She was so mean. That gorgeous ass. She was so mean to Steve when he was so nice to her and fun. And then she couldn't handle that he was like poor. I mean, I guess he couldn't handle it ultimately because of this tuxedo for the party. Miranda. Miranda. Miranda. Miranda. I loved him. So people were, so a close friend says that I'm Miranda. That, why don't you just stab me in the fucking chest? That's crazy. Then people start saying I'm Charlotte. Like I'm some kind of idiot virgin. Oh,

Well, I mean, it's not nice to be called Charlotte. Like, I wear a cardigan and, like, fear the Lord. I don't like that. But I think you're romantic. Well, okay, I'm romantic, but I'm more of a slut, and I'm more of a main character. People said, oh, I think you're semantic because you've identified publicly as a whore. I've also identified publicly as a writer.

Make me carry. And then, and then, and then, so I started getting insecure. And so then I'm like, I'm going to get to the bottom of this. So then I posted another slide that said, why do you guys devote the way that you did? And then I gave where you can write things in. And then people were writing in just some of the most biggest drags I've ever seen in my life. People were writing in, oh, you're fucking boring, but it's like in a cute way. So you're Charlotte. Oh, you're a, you're a business lesbian. So you're Miranda. So that's all hurtful.

No one's saying you're a charming number one on the call sheet like Carrie. And so no one was telling you that they didn't vote Carrie as a compliment. People were saying that, but I'm not buying it. Like people were definitely saying Carrie's a bitch, Carrie's selfish, Carrie's a sociopath. She doesn't – she's not a good friend. Samantha's the best friend. Samantha sleeps around or whatever. And it's like, yeah, but the damage has been done. And then –

So then I deleted all of it. I deleted the poll. I couldn't take any more of that. And then I deleted what people were saying into me. But the close friend who voted Miranda, I'm going to be reevaluating my circle. I'm going to be looking at my circle a lot. Wait a second. Yeah. Stanley. Stanford? Yeah. Well, he's a loser. He's gay. Right.

But yeah, it just all, it's just always too much for me. And it just hurt, dude. It just really fucking hurt. Stanley. What girl's character do you think you are? Oh, Hannah. Yeah. Mental ill. Yeah. Funny. Yeah. Smart, but deeply mentally ill. Yeah. Like broken. Yeah. Layered. Like thinks that I'm self-aware, but like, no. Yeah. Not really. Hell yeah. Yeah. Fat.

No worries. Yeah. Yeah, no worries. It's so funny, like, looking back on her body. I mean, sorry. Lena Dunn's a real person. I don't want to be weird and whatever. But it's crazy to me that, like, when Girls was, like, on TV, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, in the Girls era, when we were like, oh, my God, she's, like, she's so fat. That's crazy. They're like, she's a behemoth hog, and she's leading a show. She was, like, a normal-sized girl. Like, like, like.

basically thin. And she was literally beautiful. And gorgeous. Still beautiful. She's a beautiful young woman who wrote a very smart show about her life and people are like, it's powerful because she's disgusting and ugly. When she takes her clothes off, they're like, nothing has happened that has ever happened. This is the biggest thing that's ever happened. She's got a beautiful body. It's like, what is happening? Yeah, she looked great. I've never understood that. Yeah. Yeah, I'm obviously Hannah as well. I have a lot of Marnies in my life that think they're Shoshannas.

Oh. Yeah. And what's even, I think the most crazy thing to experience in the wild is the disconnect. A Marnie who thinks she's a Shoshanna, you can kind of get along with. A Shoshanna who thinks she's a Jessa...

Baby, get help. Yeah. What are you talking about? Yeah. A Shoshana who thinks she's a Jessa is like, you don't have Jessa. There's not an ounce of Jessa in you, baby. Oh, and if I can just try to translate what you're saying, it's kind of like a boring person who thinks that they're interesting. Yeah, like a boring virgin loser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who thinks that they're like the edgy, tell it like it is, traveler. Yeah. That's not you, honey. Yeah. It's what Chris Fleming describes as vibe dysphoria. Yeah.

I love Vibe Dysphoria. It's a great bit. And I feel like Marnie's, the first sign of a Marnie is she will never think of herself as a Marnie. Like that is, that is clear. Yeah. Yeah. A Marnie will never say I'm a Marnie. Right. That doesn't happen. They can't, no, they're not capable of it. They can't do that. They can't go there. Yeah. All they can do is start a folk duo. Yeah. That's all they're capable of. Has there been a good show since Girls? Uh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah, I bet there has. I don't know. Yeah. I'm not sure. I'm writing a couple of them. Yeah, but. I'm writing the good shows. And I'm very excited for them, but until they come out, I don't think there's been. We wait and we wait. Any. Nori Reid, what's so true to you?

um god i thought about this i mean good you're already a step ahead of most of our guests like when your producer reached out and was like yeah like some examples are like these chicken wings are better than these chicken wings and i'm like my brain can't think that like easy like i'm i have no chill like i can't even i wish i was normal enough to like think that way like yeah my ideas are like

weird and crazy yeah if i can just preface with that yeah you're like you're like you're like the blue period in this painter's oeuvre yeah you can only go there yeah or even like darker or like i can't even like be that chill you're like you're like what's so true to me is this it is goaded that was one of one of my ideas was like yeah like maybe it isn't that bad well i actually well yeah okay um so anyways um yeah but i think for me what's so true is that um

I think right now the far right is carrying the camp torch. Yeah. That is what's so true to me right now. Yeah, what do you mean by that? Well, on Twitter yesterday, there was this video that this politician released, this woman, far right, and she was running in this bullet-pressed, and she's like, direct to camera, she's like, don't be weak and gay.

Hear her out. By the way, I saw that video. She's running for Missouri Secretary of State. Oh. I believe. Or treasurer or treasury or something. She's in Missouri. She's running for office in Missouri. I don't even want to say her name because I don't want to even promote her in any way. Yeah. Some of the stupidest people in the world run for office in Missouri. Yes. Yeah. Just fucking morons. The number of times over the last 10, 15 years that a national headline about the dumbest right-wing person you've ever heard of has been someone from Missouri is completely humiliating.

So when will you be running? Probably someday. I see it. Yeah, I imagine I'll run for office someday. I don't know what else I'll do with my... I don't want to. I don't think I should. I don't think someone who loves attention as much as me should be a public servant. But I do think there's going to come a point where I don't know what else to do with my dismay about the world. I hope that you have the same track as George Santos. Okay. Just the exact same kind of direction. All right.

I see it. Yeah, okay. I think if I were ever going to run for office, genuinely, jokes aside, I obviously never will, but I think if I ever were, I would run on an extremely aggressive working class message. I wouldn't even fuck with, I'm not going to get into debates about any of the social issues. I'm not going to get into debates about abortion or trans rights. Everyone just, you know where I stand on that. I'm really like, it would be about rent control and it would be about higher wages and it just, that would be it.

Money. Just money. Jobs, money, rent control, how people can pay their bills. That's all. Yeah. I feel like the best intersectional movements are always about working class. Yeah. It's the poor people's movement. Because that is what connects all the marginalized folks. And it's what's happening in the Tenant Union in Kansas City. There are Trump supporters in the Tenant Union. And they are actively... The Tenants Union in Kansas City goes into trailer parks and other areas of...

that have, you know, Trump flags or areas that might be hostile and not always, but they go into places where people disagree with them and they say, all we want to talk to you about is your rent and these developers that want to buy up your land and push you out. And I mean, there was literally a trailer park in, in Kent city area that they wanted to, the county wanted to steal the land and turn it into a jail.

And so you go and organize those people and you, and then by the act of them getting organized for their own benefit and not trying to win them over on a critical race theory or trans rights or universal healthcare, just by talking to them about their home and their rent and their ability to pay the bills, they end up hanging out around, uh,

Other poor black folks and trans people and college students who are talking about. And so it ends up being this thing where it's like we're not going to win on every single issue with every single person. But I do think the great equalizer is economics.

Absolutely. And those types of spaces where people actually get to interact, that's what actually creates the change of people's like, when the people see each other as human beings, it's like, that's what creates that kind of change. And also you think about who actually took up for you. It's what have you done for me lately? Yeah. Like who, how many politicians do you know that have actually come to your door and said, I want to help you keep your low income housing affordable? Yeah.

They don't do that shit. Yeah. But the tenant union does. And I think, yeah, that's the, we need politicians who are like actually focused on making people's lives materially better because everyone's gotten into these big heady conversations about what they're passionate about, which I understand. I have those conversations too, but I'm like what we need from our politicians at this point in, in like late stage capitalism, this nightmare that we're kind of living in is material improvement for people's actual lives. I could not agree more. And it's like the like elite class or like whatever you want to call it. Like,

they thrive on this idea of like culture war. Yeah. Of like, you know, like, oh, like LGBT, like whatever is over here. And then you have, and then whenever people actually interact with each other and see that there's like not like much difference or whatever. Yeah. Then like, that's what can lead to like actual like change of like conditions and like, and quality of life. And it's like, that is the, that is the antidote of like what's happening with this culture. Yeah.

War or whatever they call it. There's these petri dish issues that are just rife for everyone to be distracted. Critical race theory, drag queens, story hours at the school, these things that it's like the people who support them, you can get them just as angry as the people who don't support them. Then all of a sudden everyone's talking about that and no one's talking about the fact that BlackRock is buying up every single family house in every single city and turning them into investment properties where they're going to hike the rent up progressively to pay back their investment 200-fold.

So if you can get people good and upset about trans women in sports or critical race theory in history class or whatever the fuck, these things that, like, I have a very clear opinion on, if you can just get us all talking about that, good or bad, no one's going to talk about the fact that they're, yeah, they're stealing our wages. They're not giving us health care. Our bridges are crumbling. Our schools are failing. Our hospitals in rural areas are closing. It's, like, it's silly. I think that they're, like, it's so, like, fucked up that, like,

Like, the trans people in sports things. Because, like, I don't care about sports. Yeah. I feel like they're actively choosing stuff that, like, trans people, like, don't care about. Yeah. Because it makes it really confusing. They're putting you in a tough spot to have to be like, I should be able to swim. Yeah. And it's like, I don't want to swim. Like... It's... Yeah. It's almost like they're... Like, by design, they're like...

Trans people can't go on a walk. Yeah. And then I have to go on a walk. Yeah. And now to be a good trans person, you have to be like super pro walking. Yes. Yeah. I'm sick of it. I hate it for you, baby. Thank you. Yeah. I absolutely hate it for you. Yeah. They're never doing anything like trans people shouldn't be allowed to wear a fun little dress. Right. So your protest can never be exactly what excites you. Remember when we went to that concentration camp? Yeah.

Yeah. So Nori and I did go to a concentration camp together. I have a very long stand up a bit about it. You also have a stand up about it. I have a small stand up about it. What's really funny is what are you doing on that? Like five minutes, six minutes? Two. Two? Yeah. I'm doing like 12 and you and I and I think you could go longer if you wanted to.

Neither of us are talking about the same things. No. That tour was so insane. She was funny. She was funny as hell. We got a tour guide at the concentration camp that was doing her 10-minute set. And murdering. And murdering. Obviously, bad choice of words. Give me not. But I mean, she was a star. Star quality. Star turn. Yeah, I mean, that was insane. We went to Berlin together. Yeah. And did we go on New Year's Day? Yeah. Or no. No.

I think we went on the 30th. Got it. Before, like New Year's Eve. Eve, yeah. We went on the 30th, spent the whole day doing that. Yeah. And then the next night we went out and, yeah, got shot with fireworks. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we say this in our sets. We're very happy we went and we learned a lot. Learned a lot. And it was very important. Learned a lot. It just was like she kept doing things that were so funny. That's...

Fucked up. It was crazy. And I have to say also, that's the other thing that's annoying me about these right wing guys in comedy right now that are all being like, or these older guys that are apolitical, right wing, that are like, oh, you can't talk about anything anymore. I'm like, my current hour that I'm touring in front of the most sensitive audiences in the country is,

I talk, I have a, I have a, like a five minute run on trans people. I have like a 12 minute run on the Holocaust. I have like an entire section where all I do is say the F slur. Uh, like I, you can talk about so much. You still do the school shooting gun thing. Well, that's not in the set right now, but yeah, I have a school shooting bit. I mean, so good there. You actually can still talk about things. You guys are just not talented. It's not funny. You're just not good. And you have credibility with your audience because your jokes are coming from a

mean place. Yeah. You're coming from a place of being gross and weird. Yeah. And trying to get away with it. And it's never funny. Like that's the thing like I'm not easily I'm not offended. I don't get it. It's like if something's funny it's funny. Like I love funny. I love comedy. And it's like they're not even funny.

They're so bad at comedy. Yeah. Not from like an offensive place, just like they're not good. And that makes me feel crazy. Yeah. Because they're like, it's just because these trans people can't, you know, take a joke. That was a good impression. Yeah. You're giving them a lot of hip. This is my impression of a guy on Twitter who doesn't like trans people. He goes, you guys, you guys can't take a joke.

They're body rolling. And he's actively riding a dick. Yeah. Why are you saying that? It's crazy. It's crazy. I love you so much. I love you. I love you so much. I love you. This is like, I'd never get to see you because we're both doing stuff and it's so nice to just talk. I love you. I love you. We should do a podcast off mic sometime. I'd love that. Yeah. Why do we need these?

I don't want that. Let's just... Why do we need these things? Just... Ruining the audio quality.

Nori. Yeah. Sorry. I love you so much. Thank you for being here. Will you please tell the people where they can find you, how they can support you? Yes. Um, I'm on Instagram, all of it, but I do want to say that, um, on in July, I'm going on tour. Where I'm going to many, uh, cities, uh, on the, but in the, in a bi-coastal way, East coast, West coast. So if you want to check that out, the link is in my, my Instagram bio. So yeah, doing a tour. Uh,

I love that. Yeah. I absolutely love that. Yeah. Go check out Nori's show. Nori's so funny live and follow Nori on everything. Nori, we love you to death. Love you. Thank you for being here. Baby. We did it.