"In Bloom and Unbothered" (w/ Catherine Cohen)
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In a Greek Orthodox ceremony. I asked my mother where all the Diet Coke was in the house, and she said, you know, I stopped drinking it years ago. And I was like, well, it's back. It's back in a big way. A couple things up top we have to do housekeeping-wise. It is post-Labor Day. Yeah. New York City went immediately into fall in a great way. I've been feeling it. Kathy Hochul and Eric Adams are...

are forever. This is why you cannot stand a politician. And I'm saying like the only way to engage with politicians is to hate them. That's my take. And then AOC is never going to be the same. Listen, and then her office is absolutely sprawling right now. Three different subway stations today. Fucked.

couldn't get up here to save my life to this studio because we're tactile. Yeah. How do you feel about New York in the fall? Fucking love New York in the fall. I literally, can I tell you what I was doing seconds ago? Jerking off.

No, I actually didn't jerk off this morning because I have a date later tonight. Oh. You can't. It's actually rule of culture number 18. You can't jerk off in the morning if you have a date that night at age 34. What rule of culture is that? 34. 34. You can't jerk off in the morning if you have a date later that night at the age of 34. I'm just saying I'm kind of hoping to like...

I don't know what I'm hoping. No, I get it. Macro sentence. But I was just, I was walking on the street and I was wearing a jacket listening to bleachers. Okay. Yeah.

You don't love that. Our guest is coughing. Our guest is... I told you, it's my cough, not yours. It's her cough. But that's what I was doing. It was very tall. My cough has been moved in for two and a half weeks, and it's staying just a little longer. Longer. I'm off-close. Don't close. No, no, no. You're almost there. Now you're almost there. I don't. Well, this is not... We can't just have her come in because this is a moment in time. This is a moment. No, I'm having a manic episode already. No! This is going to be unlistenable. Stop.

She has jet lag. Which is the perfect state to podcast in. 100%. I mean, the return to the pod of one of the all-time greats. One of the all-time greats. And this is going to actually take the readers by storm. This is giving New Moon and Virgo. Oh, wow. Yes. Giving... We're back to...

We're back to the roots. You know who this is, by the way? Iconic Leo. And we just dragged Leos to filth on the last episode. I want to hear it. Yeah. Okay. But it's Leo men. Play the episode. Play the tape. Can you play the whole episode for me? Great. And we're back. We've heard the episode. We listened to the whole episode. And I can't believe you said that, bitch. Bitch. I'm a bitch. She's a vocalist. Double bitch. It was male Leos that we asked. Never met one.

Really? Who is one? Shawn Mendes, Ben Affleck. Never met them. Don't, they're going to gaslight you. Our guest has a lot of things.

A lot of things on the agenda. It's very nice. The podcast, of course. Come for me. The special coming out October 17th on Veep streaming services. Thank you, Veep. Thank you, Veep. And of course, shout out. Yes, Ms. Madam Veep. MrsVeep.com. And a big announcement coming next month. And shut the fuck up. Only murders in the building.

Come on. Forget it. Forget you. But remember her now because welcome to your, I don't know what that was. Welcome back to your ears. The one, the only. Cam! You make me wanna love. On the kitchen, on the floor. I'll be your friend. Drink your milk up, I won't want.

I couldn't be happier. I forgot about drink the milk up. I want more. I'm like an alley cat. Drink the milk up. I want more. Obvious cum thing.

I got such a cum thing. Right up top, I got a cum thing. I got a cum thing. Where did you come from? I've been waiting to ask you. Are you stressed because of the trains? I do have transit travel anxiety right now. Yeah, let's let it go. First of all, I'm so happy to be home with my family. So good to see you, girl. Thank you for having me on the podcast. I just got back last night from London, England. Edinburgh. Shh.

She's an Edinburgh legend. Winner. Thank you. Yeah. I did Edinburgh. I did my European tour. I've been gone three months. Yeah. It was heaven on earth. I have to say, it was just really nice. Yeah. Just really nice. And to miss the New York summer fucking rocks. I always run from the heat. Yeah. I run from the heat and now I'm in time for the chill and time for a sweater in the studio. I know. Oh my God, you came back right on time. Look at this. Do you want me to do this? Can you imagine? Come on.

Pour your plastic water. What's everyone's mood? My mood, honestly, like I have had kind of an annoying day because I came here to the studio at 10 a.m. thinking it was 10 a.m. And it was actually that thing of my time difference. Because East Coast, West Coast, what is it? So meanwhile, you're over in London time. This is an international episode of Scrambled Brains. No, I like it.

I love coming this direction because you wake up early and you feel so powerful. Of course. And then you get to go to bed early and you feel so healthy. Oh, forget it. There was a huge stretch of time where I was waking up naturally at 5.30 a.m. Can you imagine? All I wanted to do was hang on to that and be that person. Early for me is like 8.45. Yeah, same. I try to wake up at 8 a.m. Wow. Every day.

I try. And even the weekends now. Do you both work out a lot? I work out six days a week. Okay, boys. Everything's different now. They moved to the city. And now they're gay. Got a big studio and now they're gay. You still gay? Yeah. And actually, that's getting harder.

Is it? Oh, gay guys? It's getting worse. Yeah. It gets worse. Bowen said the other day, done with gay guys. I didn't say that. I said I need to take a break from gay guys. Y'all are annoying. I don't think so, gay guys.

What do you think? What do you think? Well, I love gay guys. Yeah, yeah. I can't get enough of the stuff. Everywhere I go, I go, ah! It's crazy. Like, I'll be in another city and I'll immediately be like, ah!

I don't know. The London ones are chic. They're heaven on earth. They're heaven on earth. I love my community. You know, I was talking to my dad yesterday about like living in like New York or LA or the age old question. And I was like, maybe I'll go live in London. That'd be fabulous. Maybe I will just go do that. They'd adore you. The gays there, you say they're chic? They're very chic. Yeah. I mean, period. End of sentence. Well, I walk into the studio. I go to your producer. I go, hey, where does Matt live? That's where we're at. I live in London.

I live everywhere. You live at all. Matt, what I realized, he is feeling, he's going through uprooting constantly. Oh, what? He's constantly, he does not root anywhere. Oh, uprooting. You know what I mean? I don't root. It's scary to root. It's scary to root, especially because you've tried to root before and it's been like a mistake. You know what I mean? Why do you live in, bleep it, Brooklyn? Me? Yeah. Why? You're asking me why? So far from your job. Oh.

Oh my God. Yeah, she wants to know why you don't live in Manhattan. I'm worried about you. You're Manhattan? Of course, five years now.

But you were Brooklyn before. For five years. But things changed. But after the five years in both, she says, Beau should be in Manhattan. And that's where you belong. Were you guys just, because I was like, were you guys just talking about this? Yeah, because I go, where is Beau and coming from? And that's why. And I go, why would Beau and live there? That's so interesting. Do you love it? You love it. I love it. Do you have a fancy high rise? I like, it's not a high rise. I like my apartment though. That's sexy. I love my apartment so much. Okay, well, then I don't care. But I,

- It's a very comfy apartment. - I can't give you a great reason beyond that. - I just feel like your life could be so much easier. - Really? - I just want the best for you. I want you to be close to your amazing job. - But like Manhattan is just like full of, and I was one of them, but I was like full of these little NYU kids. And I'm just like, stay away, stay away. Why do you love Manhattan? - I go to NYU.

If you enrolled at NYU now, that would be... What's it called? Mystery box. No, no, what's it called? Hammer Cats. You're in Hammer Cats. I'm in Hammer Cats Mystery Box. You would actually really do well. I'm the only person in their 30s in Hammer Cats. They would worship you. Cat Co. was the...

To my mind, it's like you and like Melissa Rich. It's like the one cis woman who comes to Fire Island. Oh, my God. And everyone just worships her. Have you been? You haven't been in a while, have you? I went for one day last year, but I've only been twice. But yeah, I describe it as like during the day, you're the belle of the ball. The lights go down. They trample over your dead body. You're fully being stomped to death. I'm like, ah! Yeah, but that happens to anyone. That's how it keeps going with the pace. Have y'all been there this summer? We've been there twice. How was it?

Fun. You know, it was low-key the most recent time. Really? There were no parties. But we were always low-key. There were parties. It's just there was no, like, theme. There was no, like, like... It wasn't like this. Was it more like... It was more like...

So basically what we did this year was we, well, you weren't there the first, in June we went to Fire Island, but he was shooting in Vancouver. So I was there on like an off week in June and like the week before Labor Day this time. And when we went to Provincetown, we were there for Family Week. So we kind of weren't there for any of the party weeks anywhere, but we had like sort of our little alt vacation moments. I see. Are you P-Town or Fire Island? Fire Island.

It's hard to say. New York or LA. Am I right? Oh. Might as well. Manhattan or Brooklyn. I want to like. I've never been to P-Town. I want to like P-Town. Everyone adores it. I think you would adore it. Everyone's adoring it, but it seems far away. Yeah. It is, but also like in the grand scheme, like not really. I will say like getting there feels like less of a whole. Oh my God. It's like a grand majestic moment when you get to Fire Island. It's so intense. Yeah. It's a lot. Oh.

I did take a tiny plane to Provincetown. Shut up. And I felt like I was in an old film. Cape Scare. Cape Scare. Yeah, a plane from where? Boston. Boston. I don't want to go there. Tiny, tiny plane. I don't want to go there. Girl, you gotta. You're like Renee Rapp. I hate Boston vibes. Oh my God. I newly love her. I just learned about her because my young friend told me. Who's your young friend?

My young friend Carly, shout out. Shout out. You got to keep a Gen Z girl around to tell you who the girls are. Yeah, I go, is this okay? Or tell me. I go, I actually am not going to get into it. You must. You must. I try to think what I ask her. I'll be like, oh, now I actually sound like I'm 100 years old. But I go, what is body tea? Oh, body tea. Someone said body tea to me. And I go, so can you tea everything? And she goes, no. I mean, when your body is tea, it means like you look good. I knew it was a good thing. So someone said body tea to you.

Ooh! La Tati 2. La Tati 2. La Tati 2. La Tati 2. Sorry to bring it back. What was that from? It's from your last episode. Is that from the last episode or from an episode years ago? That was in 1996. That was in 1996. I texted you and I go, I haven't talked to y'all since 90, you since 93. I saw you in 96 because we had drinks. 96 we had drinks. But in 96,

95, we saw each other at the opening night of O'Mary Off-Broadway. I know, but for one second. For one second. One calendar second. That's not enough seconds at all. I know. So when are you back at work? Um, I don't fucking know. You don't? Not me. Not me. Are you happy about everything? Yeah, get into the real shit. Are you guys happy about everything or sad? I'm happy.

I'm okay. I don't think so, honey. I never see you ever. No, no, no, no. And can I tell you something? This is one of the reasons why I want to be back in New York is because truly my family of friends is here. But that's so funny because I look at my phone, I get back in town and I go, who lives here? Who lives here? I don't even know anymore. Well, that is a hard thing. I will say there's like- Mr. P is gone?

Mr. P. Mr. P as in L. Oh my God, we did an escape room with him. That's crazy. In fact, every five years, we do an escape room with Pat and our friend Jared, who loves you and you know. Well, I love Jared. But here's my impression of me in an escape room.

Let's go. I want you to know that's really kind of the vibe for all of us. But we all have our own little skills that contribute. Wouldn't you say? The key to an escape room is everyone spread out and everyone shout from one end of the room to the other what the person on the other end of the room should do. Does that make sense? That's perfect. If you do enough, you get good at it. Like, I've done enough now where I'm like, I know. Remember there was that woman? It was like an old frog woman.

Okay, so in this last escape room we did- Stop talking about me like that. I can't spoil it. What's body tea? What's body tea? In the corner. Frog woman is good? We did one in LA and there was like a frog woman who was wearing an outfit and every item of clothing was a different color. And I said, that's going to come into play. Oh. Come to find- Wait, why was there a woman in it?

I don't know. I can't with you on the mic. Missiphonia is real. Hollywood be like, hold on. Because I'm waiting to eat until after the podcast because he was late. Don't let your friend eat. Thank you. Not on the mic because I'm looking out for all the readers with Missiphonia out there. The readers of Missiphonia, you are a community. Y'all don't shut the fuck up, ironically. Y'all don't stop making sounds. Jesus Christ. See, I would never alienate the fans. Only the Leos. I'm jet lag brain. You're not.

You're actually top of mind. No, you guys. That's because this is a really exciting moment. Top of mind. Top of mind. Top of mind-titude. Mind-titude-a. What's top of mind for you? Pop culturally. Oh.

I don't know something that everyone saw 10 years ago. I just watched Game of Thrones. Let's talk about it. Vanderpump Rules and Game of Thrones. I watched all of Game of Thrones last summer. Unbelievable show. Check it out. And I want to be on it. Checks watch. Where is it filming? I watched. House of the Rising Dragon. I want to rail, rail, rail, bounce, bounce, bounce on that guy from Dragon.

Which one now? The one in House of Dragon who's like Matthew? Matt Smith? Matt Smith. I want to Where? Big fuck energy. He was at Tribeca Film Festival. He was playing Robert Mapplethorpe in a movie. Oh my god. Yeah. And he was down to fuck. He looks over at us in our like jackets and I remember making eye contact. Oh no. It was charged. And he goes it suits you. Oh!

Is he B? Did he give B? He gave B. Like, he wanted to fuck both of us. I'm so jealous. It was giving. It was. And I don't know this about him. And I know that I'm on one with this word. But it was giving like narcissists. Like, it's like, I want you to leave this room being like, he would fuck me. That's the headline. Oh, my God. That's the poll called Matt Rogers calls Matt Smith a narcissist.

Not NARS. NARS. NARS liquid concealer. NARS. I am so attracted to him. It makes me, I'm actually really horny right now. Yeah, good. Yeah, good. Where's Brian at? I know, never see him. I have a boyfriend, never seen him in my life. He's always, we're always gone. Was he in London? No. What I mean is that we moved in together in May and we've,

haven't lived there for one time. Well, that's the guest of death. You shouldn't have done that. Stop. No, he's, you know, he's the best man on earth. No, he is. I think Thursday evening, I'll hopefully get torn, torn in half.

Split in half. With love. Split in half by my beloved. By a good man. Split in half by my beloved. Title of that. Split in half by my beloved. Well, I told you pre-pod who I wanted to split me in half. You don't love that. No, I want me split in half by my beloved. Who do you want to be? I want Theo Vaughn to split me. Oh, my God. And I still don't know who that is. I think that is doable. Theo, if you're watching. Theo, reach out. You guys aren't Ope. Every now and then we're like, are we? Oh, oh. No, we're not.

We did it for one second. We're both like, yeah, I can't imagine how scary. I know. But life is so long. I know. Life is scary. Life is so scary. Are you single? Yeah. And you're single. But he's going on a date tonight. I know. Well, I was telling Catherine, I was telling Catherine that like I have done that thing where it's like I've come to New York and like

overscheduled myself on that type of thing. There is one guy that I'm liking quite a bit. Really? But I also have my walls up. Your walls are up? Oh, the walls are up.

I've never had them down. And they were always so down and now post one experience they're up. But like, I'm trying. Post experience. You're living in a post experience. It's a sick treatment conversation, I think. I'm going on Saturday. This is a big announcement. Do you guys, you know what I think? Actually, I'm feeling so, I'm feeling it's 2024. I finally feel normal. Yeah. That's great. Since 2019. Yes. That's when I was normal and happy. And then

crazy crazy crazy and even the last few years I've been just like like scratching through and now I'm like something about being back at the Edinburgh Festival as well like being among like just among the crowds and the people I'm just like I love life like I feel normal again that's top of mind being normal being horny

Did you lose horniness during the pandemic? Oh, first half, I was having the best sex of my life. Brian and I hadn't been together that long, so it was like a fuck fest. And then the past two years, I was on so many antidepressants. I was just dried, shrivel, shrivel, shrivel. And then now I'm getting my groove back, as they say. Isn't that interesting? I also feel I'm getting my horny groove back. Really? Are you age? I'm age and I'm medicated. Okay.

2.5 milligrams of Lexapro a day that you're not going to feel any. What's normal? I got my little pill cutter. No, no, no. The minimum dose, the smallest dose they come in is five. And I have to... Oh, wow. Because five zaps me down. Really? Yeah. I was on 10 and it was not good. Five, I felt kind of amazing. Yeah. And then I went to 10 thinking, oh, this is a quote unquote real dose. Yeah. And I was getting more depressed, I think because I like couldn't feel my body, aka penis. It's so...

And I need to feel my penis to feel like Matt Rogers. I just do. I can't be myself if I don't have access to my dick. I'm on 10 of pro. And I mean, here's what happens. Every like six months, I'll be like, this isn't doing anything. Stop taking it. Start crying. Start taking it again. Life's a roller coaster. I keep actually, I actually have to stop. I keep going up to people in their face and going...

That's so sweet. I don't know if it's sweet. I love that. How do you think it started? I'm so happy. How do you think it started, this behavior? I just love everyone right now. Oh my God, Paco. You know what I've been doing and I don't know where it came from? I wink at people and I say, I say my love. My love. I call everyone my love and I wink. My love is tough. My love is worse than lover, I think. By the way, to answer your question, I love you.

So I lean past the garden and I rotate down the street. I'm going through the garden and I rip it away. She's got a lot of gardens in her song. I fucking love, you know I fucking love her. Of course. I mean, you know that I'm seeing her a sixth time. Where? Miami. Have you seen it yet? Have you seen the first story yet? Yeah, I went in Denver, Colorado. Same! Oh yeah. I think we were on Instagram stories being like, where are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the stadium being so big.

Yes, it was so wonderful. That's the best concert. Now, do you guys, this is a question we always come back to on a little podcast. I like to call it seek treatment. But we always come back to this question. Do you think Kelsey's endgame? Oh, do I think it's- Do you think Kelsey is endgame? I think so. So do I. I think Kelsey is endgame-

in terms of every intention that they have right now. I don't know what craziness goes on at that level of celebrity at that height. Like what could happen, what does happen. But I think they're going for it. I think she's going to have a babe. I think she is. I think album 13 is going to be the pregnancy, the baby album. I would love to watch her and learn from her.

Why do you say album 13? Is that just because you think that the 13th... Just the numerology of it, yeah. So you think there will be a 12 that is like a different era that we don't know yet? Maybe. Oh, wait, so we're at 11? We're at 11. Oh, there's going to be a 12. So 12 has to come first, obviously. Famously. How did you think of that? I don't know. I think she's going to do 12 and it's going to be something. 13 is not going to be a baby album. It's going to be back to like country, like first debut vibes. Yeah, well, it makes sense.

I think the next album has to be... Because she's probably tired as fuck. I'm worried about... He's nodding. He's like, hell yeah. You think she's tired? Yeah. Who wouldn't be? Who wouldn't be? I'm like, what's gonna... I'm like, when the tour ends, like... Yeah, what do you think she's gonna... She's gonna... It's gonna be so intense. That's such an intense feeling. Me worried about her. No, no, no. She's gonna go into like...

Death Valley and let out an hour-long fart. It's going to be such a release. She hasn't farted in two years. She hasn't farted in so long. I don't do that. I bet Travis farts in front of her all the time. Do you think... How long do you think it took Taylor Swift to stop being like, stop? I think... Or do you think she thinks it's fucking rad? There's a clip. There's a little snippet of them. I forgot who released it. But it was like one of them. It was either Taylor or Travis released it. But it's like, Taylor's cooking? Like...

babysitting a stovetop, and he just sneaks up behind her and kisses her on the cheek, and I'm like, okay, I don't care. That's real. That's real love, Mary J. Blige. 100%. You know what I mean? Of course. I believe it's real. Of course it is. Do you guys believe in love? Yes. Oh, me too. But it's hard sometimes. What would you bring back from Edinburgh? What do you miss the most? What did I bring back? What would you bring back culturally from Edinburgh? Oh, my God. I mean, for me, I just love...

I love the vibes, the haunted city, the beautiful architecture, the weather. I love like that's why I'm happy to come back to autumn. And I love being singularly focused on a task at hand. So every day you sleep late. You're so it's Broadway. It's like you're like every day, like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah. Yeah. Good. What about y'all? I mean, this is literally my time. What's going on with you? Oh, I just.

The train. I'll tell you later. The train, for sure. It's the train, isn't it? It's Defo the train. Yeah, we'll talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it work? Yeah, it's like work stuff. Work sucks, I know. She left me roses by the stairs. Surprise, it's Let Me Know Tigger. She left me roses by the stairs. Wait, do you remember this song? Surprise, it's Let Me Know Tigger. Do you remember? Okay, that was...

So good. Yeah. Hammer Cats. Mystery box. He can whip out the high harmony like that. Danger box. Okay, so that's actually so close. You were really close. Very close. Danger box, Hammer Cats.

Name a more iconic duo. I'll wait. I'll fucking wait. What were you going to say? What do I remember? I had a deep urge to ask you what your spiritual feelings are on Sabrina Carpenter because I do feel like... Obviously, I want to open for her. I think we're a match made in heaven. Literally, I was thinking the same thing. Sabrina, I think I should open for you on your tour. I think you would die for me and I would take a bullet for you.

She's fabulous. She's fabulous, I think. You're a little bit Chapel. You're a little bit Charlie. You're a little bit Sabrina. You're actually all three. That's so nice. I feel connected to them all three spiritually. You are the white beam of light that refracts the prism. I'm sorry. That's so beautiful. Caucasian. Because you have Charlie. You have Charlie, I think, like impact.

You have Chapel Energy and you have Sabrina POV. Yeah. Oh, thank you. And in 2024, you can do anything with that. Yeah. Is that what we're almost done with that one, right? Oh my God. This year? Yes. Let's like. I think we're firmly, we're right on Q4. I don't care about time and space. Are you about to do some Mariah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that what she says? She doesn't believe in time.

Mariah says that? Yeah. How do you not know this? When people ask her her age, or people are like, you're like this old. It's been like this long since this album. She's like, I don't believe in time. I think she doesn't believe in saying her age. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know she's famously nocturnal. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Like you. Oh, no, no. You wake up early. I sleep a lot. I'm neither.

My perfect world, I sleep 12 to 14 a night. You're like Dakota Johnson. Adore. Adore. Adore. Every time she has a new headline, I go, that's my girl. Yeah. She gets it. She hits it. Wait, I think her and Chris Martin broke up. Did they? I did. Did they now? Yeah. They broke up. That doesn't really make me feel anything. What do you guys feel? I wish to them the best, but I think the vibes seemed off.

Yeah. Well, he must be a lot older, huh? I don't trust any man who wants attention. Oh! Leo. Oh, I bet we can find out that he's a Leo. Let's find out. What is Chris Martin's astrological sign? What Leos were you hating on? Ben Affleck and Shawn Mendes. Oh, yeah. Can I tell you? Okay, I did this crazy thing. Did you, when it came out, watch the J-Lo documentary? People scare them.

Does that mean anything to you? People scared? People scared. What does that mean? There's a part in the Jailer documentary where she's going, she's like, oh, people are scared. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is Kourtney Kardashian going to be in it? And she goes, no. And she goes, oh, and she goes, people scared. People scared. People scared.

Because no one wanted to do... Right, right, right. So I watched it again. People scared. And people scared. Two days ago, I watched it again. I don't know why, but to sort of understand like exactly what she was saying now that it's all over and stuff, it is fucking devastating what happened when...

with them if you watch that documentary now because she's sobbing the whole time about how it's like about how hard it was the first time they broke up and like how it's like made her believe in love again and that's why she's doing this is so people can believe in love and like it's rescued her etc and like it's her best friend and what was so hard about the first time was losing her best friend and now it's like he's done this to her again

So what is happening? Because as someone who just watched Game of Thrones, I'm a little behind on the news. What we need is a Dracarys on all Leo men. I'm going to speak your language. He ended it. Yeah, he ended it. Although she is, by all appearances, doing great. She is posting on Insta. What's she posting? Summer Carousel. The caption is, oh, it was a summer. And then there's a picture of her. Kind of tongue in cheek. It looks like a Photoshop shirt. She's in bloom and unbothered, out of reach and at peace.

Like too many words going on there. It's a little bit salad-y. Title of app. Title of app. She's in bloom and unbothered. In bloom and unbothered at peace. In bloom. Chris Martin's a Pisces, by the way. I'm sorry. Oh, and I like a Pisces. Okay, attack on my own domain. You know, I have to shout out a new pop girl I'm obsessed with. Who? Maud Latour. Maud Latour. Maud Latour is someone I admired.

on TikTok and then became friends with and her new album Sugar Water is so good. Great name. Listen, listen, cue it up. I had to plug that while I'm here because I was listening to it on the walk here. I was like, something, something, something, something, something. Maud Latour is getting play on. You're going to love it. Wait, you know who else I saw you post about who I fucking love is Gracie.

Gracie's my girl. I love you. I'm sorry. Babe, Gracie is my girl. I owe her my firstborn because she got me the Aeros tour ticket. Oh, did she really? Because I saw her open for Taylor. She crushed it, obviously. Yes, I'm there. I love you. I'm sorry. I've listened to that every second of every day for the past. Something about leaving London as the summer turned to fall. Too.

Two Augusts ago. I was like, say it. It's really good. She's a genius. She's really good. And I was reading like a review of the first album. I was like, I had like a deep dive on Gracie. Hi, Gracie. But she sings in this way that was described as an angry whisper. And I was like, that is what it is. That's beautiful. It's like really...

controlled and, like, very emotional, like, register that she sings. And that's actually not, like, that, like, affect that a lot of the girls have. It's actually specific and really...

fun and like emotional and I just really like the way that she does her thing and her writing is great I love Risk Risk to me was the moment that she like broke out for me yeah it's so good yeah it's not she's not doing the cursive singing thing in the way that like people who like derogatorily use that term is that what it's called cursive singing that's so funny let me ask what's your favorite track on the new Sabrina if you feel safe oh it's so hard it changes every day Juno

I'm a don't smile girl. Bed cam. I'm not going to lie. I listen to Sharpest Tool every second of every day and taste. My favorite hasn't been mentioned yet. Is it SRS? Coincidence. Oh, I love coincidence. It's a Jodi song. It's Ladies of the Canyon. It's like. It's and the bridge. What a surprise. Yeah. It's a fucking surprise.

Melodically, she's fucking cool. She's fucking cool melodically. I said it. You are Sabrina. I'm Sabrina with brown hair. With brown and red. That's what makes you a little bit of... Your sweater is Chapel. Your hair is Charlie. And what's inside of you, your heart, is Sabrina. And at the end of the day, I'm just kitty cat. Meow.

Wait, what song is getting disrespected again and again and again on Sabrina's album? Dumb and Poetic? Yeah, Dumb and Poetic I feel doesn't get the shine. I think maybe because it exists in like, it's like in the 10 spot on the album or something or like 9 or 10. People feel called out by it, I think.

All good. You've read every self-help book, like Jocking Off to Lyrics by Leonard Cohen. This is a lot of people. Promise the mushrooms aren't saving your life. That's going to make a lot of 25-year-old men feel really upset. Did you watch The Valley? Yes. So I watched it because I'm new to the Vanderpump universe. And the best thing I've, maybe the best thing I've ever seen on TV was when the guy in the hat comes back from the ayahuasca retreat. Oh, yeah. I was like,

I was like, comedy over because this is the only funny thing I've ever seen. He was like, he put on a different costume to tell his wife who wants him dead in a ditch. Michelle. Shout out to Michelle. She is a demon, by the way. Is she? I just get the sense that she's... Oh, I think that the director that she fucked was Quentin Tarantino, by the way.

I found that out. That's juicy. Right? Yeah. I didn't know that. It's Quentin. I would. Remember like in the show, like she's like, whatever. I've like flirted. Yeah, she's like, I'm selling a house to a guy. To a guy. Like a Hollywood, like a cool Hollywood guy. And it's allegedly Quentin Tarantino. And I Googled, I was like, who could this be? Like some like amazing actor. And I was like, oh,

Oh, it's Quentin. Wait, you just Googled it and that came up? I Googled it and that came up. Oh, so this is ready. This is out there. And I'm like, LOL, this girl is so funny. But talk about the guy. What's his name again? Jesse. Jesse. Jesse Lally. Lally? Yeah, and can I say something? You make me want to Lally. This is my disease. I'm super horned up for him.

And that's what I need to fix. He is physically attractive. And then when he starts being how he is, it's over. But when he comes in in the beanie and he's like, yeah, the beanie changed. Yeah. I was like, this is the best thing I've ever seen on television. Yeah. But that reminds me of the mushrooms are not changing your life. Well, that's that type of guy. If you don't call them out at 25, then all of a sudden they'll become a 40 year old man that you have kids with who is going to be doing this. And she's sitting there being like, right.

I married and bred with this man. Very. And I actually didn't like her at all, all season until the last episode. What did she, what changed? In the last episode, it was like post her filing for divorce or whatever. And she basically was just like,

I'm not dealing with you anymore. Yeah, she was good at that. Like the wishy-washiness the whole time because she so clearly didn't want to be with him. Yeah. But like still being in it and like allowing him to think he had a chance. I was like, mama, like cut it. Like he, he's not the one for you. We all know it. And then when she started to be real at the end and was like, he would say some shitty thing and she'd be like, nope.

Nope. I was like, this girl I'm interested in watching on TV. Okay. Okay. I'm listening. I'm reframing. Matt, there is a chill in the air. And even though I'm not in school anymore, fall still feels like the beginning of a new year. This new era that is fall brings so many new things. Leaves simply go from the trees to the ground. New TV starts caressing our screens. And there's a September issue of Vulgate.

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I was going to say, what drugs do you guys like? I might be on a break with, speaking of mushrooms, I might be on a break with psychedelics. I'm like, I don't feel the... The pull. The va-va-voom. I feel the rush. Addicted to your touch. I'm even on a break with weed. I think I'm going to go a little...

a little so when did your break start because we smoked weed like the other day I know but I'm saying like that was like the last time it's over that was the last time yeah what you okay Matt has like a two with me no I'm not fighting a little bit he's squinting and glaring a little bit I just think it's funny that you said you're on a break with weed we smoked weed the other day I'm done I'm done with the weed with the alcohol

Really? Alcohol has been, has definitely reduced. Yeah. Well, as you can see, we're in, we have a new fixation. Well, this is an amazing taste. No problem. This is like, this is only good for you. This is having a diete. I love it. Oh my God. Oh wow, I didn't even see that. Oh, I just got back from London, so. So you can tell us what that means. That's why I noticed. Y'all have Canadian, European Diet Cokes. I have...

gross American. Well, I think that there's a bunch floating around. Hey, are you okay? You don't have this? That's so sorry. That's so sorry. That's so sorry. I love you. I'm sorry. You were the best. You were the best. No, I celebrate your brand new break from marijuana. I wonder how long it can last because I have the same desire and then like you do start to get like a little bit of the itch. Like I feel like marijuana is one that's hard to give up for some reason.

We just got to sit alone with our thoughts and be okay with it. Well, that's not okay. That's the hard part. Embrace. Really? Yes. Don't journal. No, I should. I was thinking if you had to start again. Buckle up. Just let it rip. Did it help the last time? The last time I journaled, I was going through the worst...

pain and time of my life and it did nothing. No, I'm saying, but I'm like, it doesn't do shit. Well, you know, it's not necessarily supposed to help in the moment. Sometimes it's just writing down what it is that you're feeling and then you can look at it later and help parse it out. Like that's been my experience is like all the raw shit I wrote down when I was really feeling bad that wasn't working in the moment. It was kind of like I looked back later and then it was able to make sense. So sometimes it's just about like logging what it is you're feeling.

Just so you can look at it later. My hand's so slow next to my head. Isn't that the truth? Right. I go. What's going on up here? Brilliant. What comes out here? Slow garbage. I know. I got to get back to the. You got to get back to the type. I got to start thinking of some new ideas. We're losing handwriting. We are. And but look, it's it's a beautiful rediscovery. If you like, you're like, that's how I write my T's. Hmm.

Well, how good does it feel even now? Even now to get a perfect pen and like test out a little. And what do you always write? Because I always go, hey, I always write H-E-Y. What do you say? I do my signature. Oh, that's nice. Okay. I don't have a locked SIG. You don't? I haven't locked it. I think I haven't locked mine either. Really? You've been signing for a while. Wait, someone got a pen in a vapor. You've been signing for a while. You've been signing for how long now? 10 years? How long have you been signing? How long have you been on SNL?

Because I can't remember. Five, six. No, I'm going to my seventh overall. That's amazing. Okay. Are we going to lock? Do what you think your signature is. Are we locking today? Yes, we have to lock. Okay, I'm going to do what I think it is. I've had the same one for years. The thing is. You can't think. You have to just do it. We're not going to lock. No, don't do it with the pressure of locking. Oh. Oh, okay. Well, now what? Well, now what? We're trying to lock signatures here. Here we go. Here we go. Should I get married?

- Wait, wait, wait. - What the hell was that? - I got distracted. Honestly, that's kind of what I do though. That's honestly what I do. I go big C and then another C and then kind of like just let it. - Can I tell you that is actually basically Celine Dion's signature. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, famously. She's one of those artists that like almost all of her albums have her signature on the cover. - Oh, that's funny. Should I do that? - Okay, so that's Catherine's. - I'm gonna do mine under Kat's. - Oh, sorry I made mine so big. - No, no, no, it's okay. - Very Hancock of you. - I'm trying to take up space. - Very Leo.

Let me see. I love that. Let me do one more. No, no, no. Let me do one more. That looks like Ray-Ban. No, no. It looks like it says Ray-Ban. Well, you can't say that when you sign the Declaration of Independence. You can't say, can I get another shot? They wouldn't invite me to that. But they made it a thing. Ray-Ban. Okay. Here's me. Mr. R.

Mickey Mouse. What does that say? That's beautiful. If the whole time I was signing my signature, Mickey Mouse, and no one called me out. At Disney World, they used to do autograph books. And then I will never forget. I think the moment I turned gay was going up to Mulan at the China Pavilion at Epcot. And she was in like the whole like matchmaking, like, please bring honor to us all, geish. And I gave her the book. She signed it Mulan, just like in the logo of the movie. And then she...

And I just stared at this like kiss print for years. Do you know what's so funny? My memory of Mulan is I remember a really falling into a really deep depression because I saw it in theaters and I go, I remember like pacing the hallways of my home. I must've been like seven or eight. I don't know. Pacing the hallways and going, I can't believe how long it will be before I can watch Mulan at home. Oh my God. You loved it that much. I loved it. I was like, I was just like learning what like, like my first depressive episodes were in that home and just being like,

When will I ever ever feel the joy of Mulan again? Like being just like so I should be pacing the hallway hands on the walls. Like where is Mulan? This is incredible. It's one of the best movies of all time. It is. And y'all know that I had an experience recently at Disney because, you know, I've never really been before. What was your experience? The Tower of Terror triggered my period, which I hadn't had in eight months because of my disorder. Shout out to the girls with my PCOS girls.

I don't get it. So I was on the Tower of Terror. First of all, I go absolutely silent. It's not called that anymore, but it should be, so get over it. Was this Florida or Anaheim? I will not go to Florida by choice. So I was in California. So you were in the Guardians of the Galaxy. I was in, sure, but it's Tower of Terror. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go completely limp. I'm completely silent. I'm like, no. I walk off. Mind you, I haven't had a period in almost one calendar year. All of a sudden, I'm like, I do a quick check. Blood, blood, blood.

I go to our sweet, sweet guide. I go, this is so crazy, but do you have a tamp? She goes, of course. Oh my God. She goes, of course the bathrooms are all stocked with free supplies. Amazing. So shout out. That's amazing. Shout out Walt. Do you remember her name, the guide? You know what? She remembers her name. Bleep it. Bleep it. Of course I do. She remembers her name. It was Latouche. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was.

Lemon. It was lemon. Leap it. Do you know? It was lemon Maloney. I think lemon Maloney. It was Mrs. Girl. I feel that maybe that Mulan may have remembered you years later when we went back. Really? No, it was a different Mulan. Well, because I was like. It was canonically Mulan though. How often do y'all go? In the world where we're not breaking the fantasy, that was Mulan. That was Mulan. You're right. How often do we go? A couple times a year. Okay. We would.

Yeah, I'd say that's about fair. Like in the totality of the parks, like it doesn't matter where the park is. Matt living in LA, I think has access to it in a way that I don't. By being closer to it. Closer to it. And that gives you the access. I went with you a few weeks ago and then before that I hadn't been in quite some time. But no, but do you want to tell everybody? The great story is that we went with Dave Mazzoni. We were about

on about a metric ton of mushrooms. Uh-huh. No, not mushrooms. Weed. Weed. Rice Krispie treats. Rice Krispie treats. Cool. That had turned us into soup. So we walk up to the China Pavilion and wouldn't you know it, Mulan was greeting guests that day. She was actually courting visitors. So we said, can we go see her? And she had no line, which... Racism. I think it was racism at play. Wow.

Because you look over at Anna and Elsa and it's around the corner. Crazy. Get out. Never seen it, never will. Never seen Frozen? I would love to work...

No, I've never seen Frozen. Never seen it, never will, but would love to work. I don't watch movies for kids. But you don't have kids in your life who are obsessed with it? I don't know any kids. Okay, this is so special. I love it. You gotta watch Frozen. I'm not gonna watch that. What, am I gonna go home and watch it? Yeah. I gotta life. Not really. Finish the story. You got a long plane. You're gonna go past Paris. Tell me. Maybe on there. Tell me. So here's what's gonna happen in the story that I'm gonna tell. So Mulan...

sees me, Dave, and Bowen, and we take a picture with her. We actually assume the position. We like pose with her. And then she turns to us and she goes...

You will be amazing warriors. Oh my God. You will be amazing. Yes, she did. What do you mean that she did not say that? What did she say? Now what's going to happen is lots of readers are going to be like, yes, that is what she said. That is the line. But what did she say? Because we were so stoned, the...

The sort of Mandela effect thing that's going on here is that I... I feel like I'm going crazy. No, no, no. She said something, but it was because you were saying... You were repeating this over and over again, and I was dying crying laughing because...

I don't know why, but she did not say that. You will be amazing warriors. She said that. First of all, why wouldn't she say that? That feels like a line they would give Mulan to tell the guests. You will be amazing warriors. We did a pose. She was like, we have to do the fighting pose. She was like, we have to do the fighting pose. And we did. And we did.

And then she looked at us afterwards and the line that the cast member was clearly given, which she said was, you will be amazing warriors. And maybe she didn't say it the dropped in way that I'm giving it, but she definitely said, you will be amazing warriors. At least something.

I mean, not to bring up this word, but it is so demure the way you were doing it. That's the dropped in way. It's hard. Yeah. I think she wanted to like shoo us away. She was like, get these gay guys away from me. No, I bet she loved you. Maybe she's a fan. Do you identify as demure or brat? I'm like...

Okay. Ask your Gen Z friend. What's her name? Kaylee. First of all, I know what both things are. I'm part of the conversation. I wish I was Brad, but I'm not, obviously. I don't think you're. I'm asleep. I'm asleep. Which is not even demure. And I can't bump that. I can't. I am not bumping that. Right. I'm not legally allowed to have cocaine because I have a heart condition. You're not missing anything. I tried it once. Don't don't repeat that.

That's okay. Don't repeat that. Literally everyone in this room has tried it once. Okay, so I'm a loser. Cocaine addicts everywhere. You guys think I'm a loser. Everyone here thinks I'm a loser. That's not one of the drugs we like. It's not? No. So trendy though. Pumping that. Yeah. Fentanyl is out there. It really is. You can't be having that. You can't. No, I don't like that. Wait, am I demure? Could be. I think probably. A little bit.

- A little bit. - Sure. I'm definitely defo. - You know what I always think of with you is a word you introduced me to in 1991. - Yes, is it? Let me guess. - Yes, it's a really beautiful word. And it's one of my favorites. - Jejun. - Jejun. - How did you know? - I knew because I know. - Jejun. It's such a cat code. - It's such a good word. And I always think of you in the annoyance basement.

Going Jejeune. There was a period of time where that was his favorite word. And you will do that. You will sort of find a word that you love saying and you use it. I don't think so. Yeah, no. It'll come. Recently, this word keeps coming but it has its seasons and it has a dark origin story. Which is what?

The word is... You will be amazing, Warren. You will be amazing, Warren. Amazing. The word is imprimatur. Now, I don't know what that is. It means like name. It means like the Cat Cohen imprimatur. Mmm.

It's like the Sikh treatment imprimatur. That's like the name recognition. Okay? That's like your... What's brought this one back? Taylor Swift reputation. Nothing. It just pops back in my head and I'm like, oh, that's his imprimatur. Imprimatur. But the origin story is...

when the first season of Celebrity Apprentice was out and Ivanka Trump was one of the sort of people who sat next to Donald. You could call them judges. Judges. She was doing press and I was like captivated by Ivanka. Wow. I was like, this woman is so amazing. And I was like 17 years old. Oh my God. This woman, and this was before Trump was Trump. I was like this, I mean, whatever, whatever that means. But I was like,

This woman's amazing. And then she was in interviews being like, well, that's my father's imprimatur. And I was like, that's the most beautiful word I've ever heard in my life from the most beautiful woman. And now look where we are. Yeah, I think it's because people sort of normalized her. And they do to this day. They call her beautiful. They say what she says is beautiful. They say everyone should say what she says. And she kissed the signature. She kissed the autograph book. Can I ask y'all something?

What's your rose and thorn of the summer? Oh my God, we just did this last episode. We literally just did this. Did you really? That's so funny. Now that it's post-Labor Day. I was like, we need to unpack the summer a little bit. We could give another one because I don't even know if we necessarily know. Who did you have on last episode? Nobody. You're our first guest in months. Of the autumn. Our entire summer was just us. That's fun. Yeah. All the time I wonder, how do you guys record? Is it all on Zoom?

When are you ever here? We've been together a lot. That's nice. Yeah. It's so fucking hard, isn't it? So hard. It is hard. You guys fully on different coasts now. Yeah, it's hard. It's crazy. Sometimes I'm like, what have I been saying for five years?

Oh, you mean hard in terms of like hosting a podcast still? I just meant like doing it every week. But then I was then I thought like, and what am I even saying when I get on? But like we like we are like dinosaurs. I know. In the industry. Y'all invented it for me because y'all are even y'all are way before Seek Treat. But like Seek Treat is like. I know. We've been doing it a while. We are like. It's crazy. We are not too young. No. Do you know what I mean? But I don't. Someone doesn't believe in time and space.

Mariah's ideology. I feel young. I go back and forth. I go back and forth. Sometimes I'm like, it depends on what area of my life I'm in. Yeah. Professionally, I still feel pretty young. Personally, I'm starting to feel old. Really? I feel like I'm just getting started, boys. We are all young. Your age. We're all young.

If you're age, you're young. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's... Horny. Horny. Yeah. Yeah. It just depends on the day. Wait. So you were saying Rose and Thorn. Rose was... I went on a lot of trips. That was fun. That was kind of like the one thing I craved all year. Which trip was your favorite? Which trip was my favorite? I liked this most recent Fire Island one. Oh, nice. It was nice. And then Thorn was... This is so IRL, but because of those trips, like I was not...

settled into home as much as I I feel like I missed out on a lot of New York summer yeah and that's okay for me I think it was great Rose well we I'm trying to say something different than we just said because my Rose that I said last week was swimming in Sicily oh oh my god how divine have you been I've never been to Sicily mm

Should I? So basically, like, it's so gorgeous. Getting there is kind of hard. Where do you fly from? Where do you fly into Boston? You take a tiny plane from Boston. What is it called? Catania. Catania, Dolores. Well, OK, so Catania Cohen.

they've all heard this already but a volcano exploded and made our flight delayed etc so we get there late y'all went together we went together with a few friends and we were having the most amazing time and then I'm swimming in Sicily in the seas and I get stung by a jellyfish

So that was a rose in the thorn actually literally in the same moment. In the same moment. And how life is that? Because it was like being in the sea. And how life is that? How life is that? How life is that? Oh my God. And did someone go pissy on it? Get this. You're not supposed to do that. What? You find out it's a myth because that'll make it worse. How life is that? How life is that? How life is that? That's the title of that. Learning a lesson is how life is that.

Wait, y'all do so many fun group trips. Yeah. Do girls do that? Yeah. I want to go on one. One of my friends... I go, invite me. One of my friends, Melissa, recently goes like, sometimes I want to go on your gay trips. Yeah. And I was just like, I completely get that. And I think that one thing I've been like going over in my brain is like,

when we were like younger, we didn't get to have like close gay male friends at all. And so I think that's why sometimes it can feel a little bit like, especially for like the women that we're close to that are like feeling like quote unquote left out of things. No, I said, I'm like, that looks so fun. Like I'd love to be included. I have heard this before from our close female friends too. Like, I mean like, and, and I sometimes I'm like, I get why it feels that way, but also there is something to the fact of

we did not get to literally have each other at all until we were in our 20s. Yeah. So it's kind of nice to feel like we're making up for lost time in that regard because, you know, like little girls could have sleepovers together. They could be like girls only, you know, they could do whatever and like gay men didn't have that. Yeah, yeah. Fair enough. Yeah. I never want my life to become like couple centric. I feel like so many like straight women, it's like all of a sudden they're just like, we do everything like,

And then in a couple, I'm like, I want to have like friends forever. No, 100%. I want to have a million friends forever. How life is that? How life is that? You want like Chex mix of friends. Yeah, I just want life to always be love. Couples exclusivity is annoying. And that reminds me of the Valley too. Oh, yeah. When they all went on the couples trip and then like. Oh, the fucking baby moon. The baby moon. First of all, I'm a Janet apologist. Hey. I haven't made up my mind on Janet. I'm praying for her. I mean, Kristen is tough.

Kristen is the best. You love Kristen. Kristen is the greatest character of all time on TV. Have you ever seen anything like it? No. I can't believe it. I can't believe it moment to moment. Also, what do you think of Luke?

Well, I have to say that now that I've finished my VPR Valley journey, I've been diving into SUP, Sexy Unique Pod with Carrie and Laura. And I am laughing. I'm LMAFOing. The way they talk about Luke and Dodie, as they say. So I'll just, I won't even bother because they, if you want to listen to that, just go, you have to go check it out. But what are they saying about Luke and Dodie?

They're just always talking about like Colorado culture in this very funny way. I know, but I look at Luke and I'm like, this is so cookie cutter. Triggering. Yeah. Yeah, it must be for you. Is your family still there? Parents are still there. Doing the damn thing. Zooming in it. Remember when you came to my parents? Oh my God. Dinner table. Oh my God. Were we ever so young? And the dog. I know. I think he's since. I'm sorry. It's okay. We had a special bond. How life is that? How life is that? Dog's passing away is. It's absolutely hell on earth. Dog in the city.

For you and Bri? That's, I would love to have a dog in the city. Would y'all want a dog? This fucking close. That would be really good. I think it'd be so good for our brains. Yes. And it gets you out of bed and it gets you in bed and it gets you a friend. Keeps you accountable. And look at this one. Oh wait, I don't have my phone but I'll show you my, so the issue is that my brother has this amazing dog and you know, of course, my brothers both live in my building.

They do? They did. They're both moving out. It's very sad. But I'm losing the dog in the move. Oh, bummer. So I think Brian and I will adopt soon. Yes. Because you can't get a cat. I'm allergic. Period. And I don't like cats. Oh my God, did you hear that? Period. That's so funny. That's so funny. Oh, Matt. Oh, that's good. Oh, Matt, write that down. That's good.

Now, I want to ask about your tour. I really write it down. Is it secret or has it been announced? I actually don't care that it hasn't been. I am going on tour and it will be announced in a couple of weeks. I don't know. I can't wait. But there's a twist. There's a little bit of a twist. What's the twist?

You'll see. That part I'm going to keep a secret. Okay, y'all naughty. But it's also not that much of a twist. Watch when I reveal that it's I'm blonde. No, it's more than that. Wow. You know who went blonde? Mary Beth Perron went blonde recently. I was like, did I go as in my time? Can I tell you something? What? You haven't said anything about my hair.

I feel like it was always like that. Is that new? You haven't said anything about the fact that I'm blonde. I feel like you've been blonde. You, Catherine Cohen, are supposed to say something to me, Matt Rodgers, about my hair. Yeah, I'm sorry about that, but I always thought you were blonde. The blonde has been... Haven't you been blonde before recently? Four months? I look at my phone, I see you blonde. Because I have been in the phone blonde a lot lately. Oh, that's right. You've been in the phone blonde. I'm sorry. That's why I didn't say anything. I see you in the phone blonde. I'm kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. Freudian slur.

Paging Dr. Freud. Do you like it? I love it. Thank you. It's fabulous. How often do you have to do it? Every five weeks. Five weeks is such a random amount of time. Yeah. Not quite a month. Not quite a month. Not quite a year. Not quite a month. The Goldilocks of time. Oh, yeah. Five weeks. Are you straightened right now? You're straightened right now. I gave myself a little blowout this morning. I want to say that the Revlon...

Brush has changed my life. Girls, y'all know. And you have hair perfuming. Someone sent me a beautiful gift and it was something called hair perfume. Hair perfume. Hair perfume. And I go, okay, so it's perfume. But it's called hair perfume and it smells unbelievable. It's Byrito. Oh, we love that company. Can they send us stuff? Hey, can y'all send us stuff? Byrito. Have y'all worked with them? Have we? They've worked my wallet. Don't ever make me laugh like that again.

Okay, deal. I have bought so much product and their staff at all their retail locations are the most severe, intimidating, wonderful people. Yeah, but good though. They should be like that. They should be like that. Although I did go to a...

It's not like when you walk into a diptych, the vibes are sweet. So everyone's lovely. I actually disagree. There's a diptych to this. There's a dip, Dr. Freud. There's a diptych on bleaker where they weren't charmed by me. Oh, that one's intense. They weren't charmed. I walked in and I was like,

They're going to be so charmed by this. No, because that one's kind of new. They just renovated it and they're really like sort of like jacked up on that. Yeah, we're new, you know? Yeah, okay. There's that energy. Okay, fair enough. The one in Williamsburg is really sweet. Cute. I was just at the one in Toronto. Did you go to that one? I didn't make it in there. We were in Toronto for something and I went to that one and it was sweet vibes. Love that. By Rado, they're going to scare you. Yeah.

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Do you have a signature scent, everyone? I've had a recent one. Me too. De Los Santos is what I wear lately. That sounds beautiful. Byredo. I don't have a Byredo one right now. I have an Aesop Huile. Huile. H-W-I-L. Now, is Aesop aspirational? Absolutely. It is? Okay. Why wouldn't it be? Because I don't know. I feel like I see it everywhere. It's too excessive. You know what I'm saying? Ah!

I hate to drag. I can't believe I'm differing with you on this. I'm an ASAP girl. It's not. Okay. It's all right. It feels like it's everywhere. It feels like it's in airports.

- Of course. - Well, airports are beautiful. - Don't even talk to me. LaGuardia, we were leaving LaGuardia the other day. I didn't want to leave. You could not get me out of there. - But you know what's hell on actual earth? A little place called JFK. Last night, I have my huge bags. I go, you know what they're doing to you now? And this is very, I don't think so honey vibes, but it's too boring. - Wait, the Lyft?

Yeah, it's in it's the next crossing state lines. Terrible. They make you cross state lines. The ride share pickup area. I have 17 bags. No, it's not good. And I used to be that kind of person that was like, I would literally pay more for like a different car to come get me where I am. But they won't even allow you to do that. Now you have to do the 20 minute journey. Because LAX, they let the black, the Uber black come. They do.

And that is worth it every time. Every time. I'm so sorry. If it means you're not hightailing enough, you were the best. I'm sorry. Me calling you a black, I love you. I'm sorry. I am doing naughty things in there. It's so good. I know people that would call the Uber black, just take it like right outside the airport and then call another regular Lyft to not pay the whole thing. I don't want to look down on those people, but that's insane.

You were the best and you were the worst. I love you. I love you. I'm sorry. Two Augusts ago. That's all the truth. I think you're Sabrina, Chapel, Charlie. And Gracie. Well, that's why you guys are going to be excited about my announcement. What is it? The one I can't. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we know all about it. Come on, Keiko. Why can't I? I already said it on my IG story. So, I mean, first of all, can I say something? You could do anything you want. Guess what? I'm making music. Ah!

I'm making music. I actually want to ask y'all because I want to do, well, I'll ask you off pod because I want to celebrate that. Okay. 100%. It's going to be Major Lazer. Oh, I love that. I want to know everything about this. That's what happens when you hang out with Sarah Squirm. I was just going to bring up Sarah Squirm.

But can I tell you? That's why I say that. I don't know if she was the one who started it or if I was the one who started it. Wait, really? Oh, then it all comes back to you. But no, she's going to kill me because if she didn't expect it. She came into my home and started saying that to me and now my whole family says it. What's describing things as major laser? When you want to say something's major, you go, that is so major laser. It's major laser. And so now I just go like, it's major laser. Major laser. Now Brian and I just go, it's laser. Or just.

It's laser. It's giving major laser. That's how things, that's how culture gets created. I actually think Sarah is one of the main cultural, what's the word I'm looking for? Paragons. Yeah. Impresado. What's your word? Impresado. She is an icon. She just, she is visionary. She's an actual genius. No, she's a true genius. Because she's someone too who like,

is so funny offstage that I'm like, how do you even have the time to be this brilliant? Wildly. Yeah. I love her every second. I know y'all are like your work wife. Would you describe your relationship as work wife? Absolutely.

because I always go I always go Tara who's your bestie at SNL and she goes both oh my god she's gonna go out and be both she's a genius we say Major Lazer we say Famiglia Pizza we say like tacos Famiglia Pizza you know what I mean oh that's cute like Matt like Matt is Famiglia Pizza and then she she has a story that made me cry laughing last week and I need to we need to bring her on the pod to tell everybody and then we will all be united in this in this story speaking of Famiglia Pizza I was thinking about this you know we all came up together doing the damn thing

And then do you think it was, do you think it's just time and space and people getting more jobs that makes everyone go? Or do you think it was also pandemic being like? I think the pandemic had a lot to do with it, but also that was happening kind of before that. Yeah. Because the scenes, it's like everyone has their little graduating class. Right. And it's like. I know. But then it's like pandemic goes.

So what's happened? Do you know what I think all the time? And don't point at me, please. No, no, you really did point. That was aggressive. I'm a pointer. Please. Please. Please, please, please. Weird, I'll cover. Please, please, please. Obrestus man.

He pointed at me. Please, please, please. I wonder if Sabrina would like me. I think she would. She would fucking love. Oh, God. I think she would. I want to put her in my pocket. Well, you did her TikTok. I did her little TikTok dance. Yeah, did she reach out? She reposted. I said, hey, what do you mean? I did her TikTok dance to taste. And then the caption was, I hope me doing this dance will bring world peace. And then she DM replied and she said, all she said was, it will.

bring world peace. That's beautiful. So that's my one little interaction with her. She would adore you. Like she'd love us all. No, no, no, no, no. My sketch got cut the finale of SNL when she was the musical guest. And then it was right before she was about to go on. She runs up to me and Celestia and she goes, what's tea? So she could tell that we were upset. She was like,

What's he? Wow. She's a girl's girl. She's a girl's girl. She gets it. I love Celeste, too. Oh, my God. What an angel. Angel of music. Angelique. Angel of my dreams. What were you saying, though, before we made your list? We were talking about, like, the days. Oh, the days. And I was saying, I think that. Familiar pizza. Sometimes I look back on, like, the times. Like, remember when we all used to go to, like, the duplex when Henry was playing and, like, downstairs? And, like, you didn't know that those times were going to.

Not be forever. It's just weird. Like, it's difficult to wrap your head around the fact that we've already lived like, not to use this word, but like eras. You know what I mean? We've already, like there have been so many times and you're like, and then all of a sudden they're done. And you're like, oh, wow, I didn't even realize I was in this new one. And I think what I'm encountering right now in Los Angeles is I've been in my current era too long. Not to associate it with an apartment, but I feel like I'm due a new. Yeah.

Because you were kind of like, I'm pandemic, I'm LA. And now you're ready to move on. Well, because I'm still in the same fucking apartment from pre-pandemic, which means it has tons of ghosts. So you got to force yourself out. Have you ever seen a ghost? Have you ever seen a ghost? We did a ghost tour in Savannah, Georgia, where it's big ghost. You have you been? No. Have you been? I've not been. I've been to Savannah, but we didn't do the ghost thing. Okay. The ghost tours are fun. We were there together.

Were we not performing there? That was Atlanta. But did you see one? No, we performed there with Popper Lette one time, Savannah. Or was that Charleston? I get those confused. Charleston. Savannah. It was a night. And then they tell you, take out your phones and take a photo of those windows over there. And then I swear, I don't have the photo, but I think there was a lady. Babe. There was a lady. I think there was a lady. I love it. Oh, they were like, that house is where Flannery O'Connor...

came to live and some say her ghost is there where she came to live that's a weird way to say that I come to live all the time oh my god have you ever looked at a piece of toast and seen a face I don't toast is so old excuse you who's still having toast

I fucking love it. Are y'all making toast? Yeah! Now carb shamer over here. No, no, no. It's not about the carbs. It's more like it's so 90s breakfast before school. Like mommy's making toast. There was something that was made the other day. I was at... Melissa had like a little birthday thing in LA and I was just like... I went to her and someone brought out... It was either like...

It was like a piece of potato or it was something. And there was a very clearly. There was a very clear the face of an old disapproving woman in it. Very clearly to the point where everyone saw it and understood what she was saying. Oh, my God. To me, I saw I saw a ghost in that potato. I've never seen like a paranormal ghost. In fact, I don't really believe. Oh, don't I believe 100 percent. I respect them. I'm glad they haven't come to see me. I don't want to see them because I respect them. Yes. Yes. I think I think they're real.

You think ghosts are real? Of course they're real. I think ghosts are real. Wait, speaking of 90s food, though, which you claim is toast, which I actually totally get it. I totally get it. It's so like orange juice. It's like before we knew orange juice was bad. No, a Pop-Tart is 90s food. Toast is forever. I actually feel like it's opposite. Pop-Tarts are forever for my family. Okay, there's this amazing chef on YouTube. She's part of Cooks Illustrated America's Test Kitchen, but she has a whole series called Technically, and she talks about how overcooking her vegetables is actually good and chic. But the reason why the crisp

blanched vegetables are like

A thing? Yeah. Why, like, vegetables are, shall we say, hard? Yeah. Niçoise. Niçoise. It's like, that was an 80s, 90s thing in response to the way that vegetables were cooked in the 50s and 60s where people were fucking mushing them up. Interesting. And I think we kind of need to go back to mushy vegetables. I love mushy vegetables. Do you cook? I cook. What kind of stuff do you make? Bad stuff. Bad stuff. No, I cook when it's just— I'm such a good cook when it's just for me. If I have to—

to an audience, I get nervous. Like, I coached for the House on Fire and it was, like, fine. It's, like, totally mid. And I'm like, this is, I get, like, stage fright. Oh.

Performance anxiety. I would love to come cook for you boys. Let's go. No, I actually love cooking for a group. Hates a home-cooked meal. What does that mean? I would just rather go to a restaurant. Oh, that's sad. And you would too. That's actually breaking my heart. No, Catherine, that's not how you are. What do you mean? I know who you are. You would rather go to a restaurant too. You would rather go to a restaurant than have a home-cooked meal. It depends on the night. Okay, well, what I'm saying is, okay, so I'll throw this out here. It's Thursday night.

Ready? We'll do this from the top. Monday night. It depends who's cooking. Yeah. And where and what the house looks like. I would agree that all of that comes into play. Yeah. And it depends what the restaurant is because there's a lot of restaurants and I am angry about this. Uh-huh. They're too loud. Too many restaurants. Too loud. And I'm a vocalist. So I need to rest the instrument. I'm not going to be screaming at dinner. Yeah. That's so true. Um...

What? I feel like Lucy. I feel like Lucy Liu and Charlie's Angels because I think my favorite part of that whole fucking movie. Yeah. Is that her character for some reason they decided the thing about her character is she's bad at cooking. Yeah. But she loves to cook for everybody and they're like I brought muffins and Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore are like yum. Oh wow.

But isn't that such a great little detail? Yeah, that's nice. It's a great film. I wonder what that is. I wonder why they felt the need to do that. It's just fun. I just love that. That's like a character. Do they all have a little Achilles heel? Like Lucy Liu can't cook. Drew Barrymore is gay. She does read as kind of gay in that movie. I don't remember the movie really. Her name was Dylan. Oh, that's hot stuff.

I had a female Barry's trainer named Dylan the other day. That's so hot. And I was like, only a female Barry's trainer or a character played by Drew Barrymore is named Dylan. And that's real culture number 99. Only a female Barry's trainer or a character played by Drew Barrymore is named Dylan. Now, Barry's is a really scary place. I am addicted to it. That's awesome. That's awesome sauce. That is awesome, actually. I should get into... I want my ass to go up, so I got to figure something out. It will do that. A glue bridge. I almost said I'm so lonely. What I meant was...

You have to, glute bridges are the next frontier. Oh, so lonely. Sorry, I meant tired. Kind of similar neighboring feeling. Yeah. Tired and lonely? Tired and lonely. I like being tired. I feel like when I'm tired, I'm actually not lonely. Because I go, I'm so happy to just be by myself. Oh. Cool.

Because you're not alone when you're lonely. But you don't have to be alone. Whatever. Wait, this is a real pandemic thing, though. Do you feel way less of an extrovert? Babe. Hello. Where'd my personality go? I am a husk. I used to be fun. Yeah. I used to get coffee. I used to... I know I used to be crazy. I know I used to be fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

By the way, greatest song of all time. I used to be so fun. I can't do anything. I'm so tired. I'm happy to hear that everyone, not that I'm happy to hear that you feel that way or you feel that way, but it is something I think we could all say is it's just like the pandemic is something we can actually not even wrap our heads around. We won't ever process what it did to us. The way it fucked us, we will never be able to understand. One good thing happened and it was folklore came out. Agree. And you know what else could happen? Evermore. Warrior Alive.

You're so right. Like literally. Oh my God. I'm so lonely. I mean, I'm only. I'm sorry. I mean, I'm tired. I mean, I'm hungry. No, but when you said that you're like happy to be home alone by yourself sometimes, I'm like, hell yeah. I can't express this. Before the pandemic, and this is of course the most boring thing anyone could say, but I couldn't even spend one night at home alone. No. I would call someone and go, come have sex with me. I'm scared. Yeah. I'm scared. Have sex with me.

Was that what it was? Before I had a boyfriend, I go, I'm scared. Have someone come fuck me. I'm scared. Oh my God. Couldn't be alone. Couldn't be alone. Someone made me Juno for the first time the other night since the song came out. Who made you Juno? You wanted to have their baby? Come to New York? Come to New York? Yeah. Nice. And you wanted Juno with them? I don't think I wanted Juno with them, but they made me Juno. Do you want kids?

Okay. Well, I don't think any of us want children. I don't think we're kids people. I know, but I froze. That's good. That's good to have the option. So I can decide. I was telling Catherine before you got here, she asked me this question off air, and my therapist goes to me after I said a long thing. She goes, I'm just thinking how you'd be an amazing father. And I literally started breaking down. I was like, well, the kid would need two fathers. And I used it as an excuse to...

We can all be Shonda Rhimes though. What's that? Just be single adoptive parents. That is chic. Sounds hard.

It sounds very hard. Nothing's easy. Do you think? You're never ready? Yeah, I think. I think. I don't want kids though. It's just. I want a big house. Yeah. First. Then I'll think about kids. That's like about marriage too. I'm like, I want like a lot more stuff before I go ring-a-ling. Lately, Pat's been shaming me. Lately, Pat's been like, you got it. Pat's been like, it's long enough. I go.

What's long enough? Being with Brian five years. Oh, stop. Oh, you have to get married enough kids? I go, well, to get married. To get married. That's up to you. I go, I want to have big house. Yes. I want fancy. Okay, ready? Movies. Do this. I want movies. We just walked into your dream home. Take us through it. Oh my God.

A.D., Catherine Cohen. Hey, guys. Hey, A.D. It's Catherine Cohen. Welcome to my... Okay, well, if we're in New York, because of course I'm going to want, you know, New York, London, L.A. Yes. If we're in New York, we're like, oh, my God, getting off the... Maybe the Christopher Street. One, two, three. I don't know. I don't know. Who said that? I don't know. Yeah. And we're going to go into one of those... We're going to go right next to like... Here's where we're going to go. Like right next to like the Cherry Lane Theater. Oh. And we're going to walk into one of those brownstones. Yeah. And it's going to be like...

Wow, this looks so old, but feels so clean. Yep. But it's so old. It's kind of like dark. There's candles. It's like, there's like navy blue, like washed walls. There's like dark velvet couches and big wooden things. Uh-huh.

It's a little bit like that. And the center of it all is, it's very lived in, very like Victorian. And then there's a clawfoot tub in the center and I'm sitting there naked and I'm going. In the center. I'm in the center of the home with a skylight beaming down on me. Tits, but wearing a necklace. And I'm like, hey boys, come this way. I love it. I've been cooking. I've been having home cooking for you on a Thursday. You gave me the wink. Now each of you go. What's yours?

Yeah, like we're walking into Boingang's AD. Because it's so awful if I say that like... It's the one you have now? It's the one I have now. I fucking love my place. I need to come over. So much. Well, that's so exciting. You're living the dream. And...

It's pretty beautiful. How long did it take to find that place? Like a few months. Not that long. I worked with this great broker. Ronnie Rose. Shout out, Ronnie. Shout out, Ronnie. I can't wait till I need you. No. No. Y'all have to go to her. I can't wait till I need Miss Ronnie. He's being like, let me enter the broker. Yeah, maybe it's time. But I just can't decide. Between New York or LA? Yeah, it's so boring. I feel like you're further along in the New York journey to like,

have a broker to potentially talk to in New York. And you don't have that quite yet in LA. I guess my impulse would be if you're going to buy, you would buy in LA and rent in New York. Yeah. That's, I think, the smarter thing. It's a little kooky out here. Yeah, it's a little kooky out here. What do I know? I pay...

so little I can't even talk about it I have a sexy little secret deal I love I can't ever leave I can't ever leave oh I went to my friend's place in Astoria the other day and he has a rent control department and I couldn't believe the number he said for how much space he has like sometimes in New York there are just those little yeah finds and I always I thought lucked out for whatever station I was in life like when we were like 28 and I moved into that little place in Greenpoint did you ever come to my tiny box in

I don't think I gave you your tiny box. I lived on Box Street. I lived in a box on Box. Oh, that's cute. And it was small, but it was $800 a month. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. And,

And then I had that and I felt insane giving it up because I'm like, this is crazy. But I always like was able to find that deal. Now I'm like, I don't think I would want that. But like, I don't think things like that exist on this. I agree. It's been tough out there. In this new era. I know. Not to bring up the era's tour again. Not to bring up the era's tour again. What era are y'all in? What era are we in? Like macro or if it's a Taylor era?

I'm at macro, like whatever words. Okay, let's answer both because like Matt inspired me last episode. I'm in husband search mode. Oh, that's exciting. I'm ready for you to have such love. It's got to stop. Enough with it. Well, what's it been like just being yanked around?

It's just like, I can't do it. Is it the caliber of people or the way they're treating you? It's not. No, everyone's fine. I'm just like, I need to. It's a me thing. I need to focus up. I need to go in with the proper intention. I've been a little too like, yeah, whatever comes my way. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I cannot be like casting a wide net. I need to be specific. You're ready to be partnered. Yes. This is very exciting. So I'm in that era. And then Taylor Swift era, I am in.

I'm going to say Fearless. Oh, there's something about the way. That's such a beautiful R to be in. The street looks when it's just real. That was one of my, that was, because I first fell in love, you know, in Texas, country version, playing my guitar. So damn funny. That's what I remember. Oh, damn funny. See, I thought it was so cool. When I was in high school, I was like, I'm going to say damn. Drew looks at me. You know what's the crazy truth? Drew looks.

how Drew looks at me yeah I'm in Tortured Poets oh it's really grown on me I'm in it's really good it's good at the beginning I was obviously like well like everyone else what's your favorite track on Tortured Poets if you feel safe Dildo Sin

Oh my God. What'd you say? I can do it with a broken heart. No, I did not say any of that. Why? Is that yours? I'm so lonely. That one's grown on me a lot too though. I can do it with a broken heart. It's great. It's major. In the video, it's major laser. I'm going to say what's major laser for me is...

Oh God. Oh God. Wait, hold on. No, it's coming. It's not down bad. Not guilty of sin. What's the other one? But Daddy, I Love Him is amazing. But Daddy, I Love Him. But Daddy, I Love Him is the culture of everyone shut up. Yeah. You know what I mean? I love that culture. I do.

Everyone needs to shut up. But unfortunately, the narrative of but daddy, I love him is ultimately but everyone shut up because I know you're right. And then they were right. So that is the thing about but daddy, I love him. But there's something romantic about it. But ultimately, everyone that was telling her all this stuff was right. But you know what? Taylor does this thing where she flips the narrative with love story. It's like it's Romeo and Juliet, but it's a happy ending. But daddy, I love him. It's like.

They were right and it didn't end well. But like in the world of this song, she gets to like dictate how it ends. That's the power too. Oh. Diltia Sin to me is like. Diltia Sin is so good. It's so good. But I will tell you what. And also this will lead me into this other thing.

Fortnite has grown on me so much. And Post Malone's new album. Have you listened to it? No, but do you know what I've been saying since the first episode of Seek Treatment is that he's my hall pass. He is. The man can wear the fuck out of a pair of jeans. I'll tell you that. And he's doing his country era now. And the new album, it's called F1 Trillion. It's literally just him doing duets with like legends. There is a song with Dolly Parton. Oh, wow. Where she's so horned up. She goes, what's one more night? Go!

We need to play it. Honestly, it is literally Post Malone and Dolly Parton talking about fucking. You really transformed in that moment. That was so beautiful. Well, that's not hard. That's good. Cartoon. But literally, this album is so good. And his voice is so...

country? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, he's, like, blowing away all these, like, legends on this album. And he did, like, Beyonce did more of, like, an Americana country thing, like, through her lens. Like, he did, like, contemporary country music. The last song on the album is called Yours. It's about telling his daughter's future husband, buddy...

Just because she changed her name doesn't mean she's yours. But it works. Doesn't mean she's yours. Yeah. There's a Brad Paisley song. There's a song he does with Brad Paisley. Brad Paisley is the amazing artist who I believe gave us the song Ticks. Yeah. I'm gonna check you for ticks. Oh, there we go. That is the song. Did you know that Brad Paisley partnered with Dr. Jill Biden during the pandemic? What? And...

told everybody to get the vaccine. Oh, good for him. And then he did a cover of Jolene where...

The lyrics were vaccine, vaccine, vaccine. And I go, Brad Paisley has climbed cringe mountain. He doesn't give a fuck. No. And we must admire him. That's catchy. Vaccine. He's climbed cringe mountain. We like him. Tim McGraw's on the album. He's climbed cringe mountain. Him and Faith have climbed cringe mountain. Are they still together? Yeah. It's beautiful. This kiss, this kiss. I'm loving it. On the gobble. The track seven. When I'm on a snow white, I don't think it's so off-club.

next time you listen to the song do this do this kiss do this when the chorus comes in this kiss this kiss unstinkable like unstinkable just try making it try making it happen with your body yeah

I need to get in touch with my body. You're the most in touch with your body of anyone I know, I think. That's so nice. It can't be so. My ass is flat. I got to get it up. That's not what that means. That's not what that means. Those aren't related. What I meant by that, I jumped A to Z and like, I haven't been, I haven't exercised in so long. So I'm like, how could I possibly be in touch? But you are embodied. As a performer, yes, I'm extremely in tune. That is her eyes. That's what she said. Get, get, get, get her.

Unstinkable. Unstinkable. Why do we not go in that key? Cinderella said to us. What's your era? What are your eras? What's your era? My era is let's fucking get it. Yeah. I'm in my let's fucking get it. I'm going. I want that. Because I've been like this. Here's what I've been doing for like three years. When you're roller skating and you're like pushing out and you're like. Yeah. Is that how you roller skate? Yeah. That's exactly it. I've been like that and now I'm ready to go. Yes.

I'm ready to go up the ramp. I love that. Now let me tell you this, but my Taylor era. What Taylor era is that? 1989 it feels like. Could be because I was always, I was in Reputation for a while, which is my favorite era. Or are you Lover era now coming out of Reputation? Because Lover ultimately ended up being the biggest era.

Cool song. Lover is her like biggest album. That's shocking. It's crazy because it came out and was like maligned at first. I loved it. You know what? You know what song is so great that's on that album that no one cares about? Which one? False God, Paper Rings. I Think He Knows. I Think He Knows is so good. It's so good. Oh, please. From the beginning, I've been like, this is one of the best songs on the album. That reminds me of, oh my God, yeah, like exactly five years ago. Where are they gonna go?

The keys. The keys are at the strap. I only do original key. Yeah, I think I am lover. Not everyone's happy about it. Because, you know, I've had a summer of closure. Yes. Romantically. Closure romantically? With Bri? No, no, no. I've run into random exes. Ah. And now I'm going, it's because I'm being prepared for my bride. Closure. Whose name is Brian. Bri bride. Bri bride. So then you are listening to Mr. P. Ha ha ha.

I would say yes. Okay. That's exciting. But I also want a house. Oh, yes. I'm sorry. It's house first. For some reason. But who knows? What do I know? The lover house. Wow. Oh, my God. Lover. It's so cute how we all kind of match today. Right? Yeah. I need that. I need. Who made that? Magliano. They're making my Emmys suit. Oh, how fabulous is that? And when is that? Like tomorrow? Tomorrow. No. Wait, that really shook me. No, no, no, no. The Emmys.

Yeah. Never been. I'm open to it. Hey, I'm totally open to going. I just haven't been yet, but I'm open to going. You'll be there. I'll be there. Manifest. Destiny. You're not going with the only murderous crew? I don't think so. I don't think so. What was it like being on set? Oh, electric. Electric. Who are you there with? All the legends. Meryl even?

Meryl walked by me on set and I go, wow. Michael Storck Creighton. Angel from heaven. That was the best part is hanging out with him on set. And also getting to talk to Miss Molly Shannon who I'm obsessed with. Oh my God. So getting to talk to them was the best. But everyone was very nice. It was really fun. Love it. Seems like a good, healthy, happy crew. It's a very health, like so well organized. So like,

calm on set, like most like party organic vibes on set. - Well, here's the thing. And this is not, this sounds like, this sounds maybe not right, but it's like, if the two people at the top of the call street are past a certain age, you're rapping at a reasonable time. - Yes. - 'Cause everyone, they just want to go to bed, right? - Or you're not because it takes too long, but we've had different experiences.

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This election season, the stakes are higher than ever. I think the choice is clear in this election. Join me, Charlemagne Tha God, for We The People, an audio town hall with Vice President Kamala Harris and you, live from Detroit, Michigan, exclusively on iHeartRadio. They'll tackle the tough questions, depressing issues, and the future of our nation. We may not see eye to eye on every issue, but America, we are not going back.

Don't miss this powerful conversation with Vice President Kamala Harris. Tomorrow at 5 p.m. Eastern, 2 p.m. Pacific on the free iHeartRadio app's Hip Hop Beat Station.

I want to hear about the Wicked movie. Yeah. Was it heaven on earth? It was pretty much heaven on earth, except one day, which I will reveal later, was I had a full-on panic attack. Are y'all excited? I'm so excited. Is the Prem going to be London or here? Prem is going to be London. Cheap. Or I think. Oh, are they? No, the Prems are all over the place. There's going to be South Africa Prem. Oh. Mexico City Prem. That's sick. LA, New York. Will you get to go to all of them? No. Because I will be working.

You are. It's too bad. The apartment's not going to buy itself. I can go to World, which is, actually, World is Lund. World is Lund. World is Lund. World Prime is Lund. That's major. That feels really right for some reason. And you're going to wear something so nice. Yeah. Who knows? I don't know yet. Do you think you'll wear pink or green?

I will probably wear pink. I will wear green for one thing. But yeah, I'm like, I'm Glinda's little gay. And so I got to wear pink. Yeah, team Glinda. I guess my question is, do you think it's stepping on anyone's toes to wear one of their colors? No, not at all. Unstinkable. Unstinkable. How did you wear my color? I was actually just watching, like, I think it was, who was it? It was like some Glinda. Oh, yeah.

Ally Mousy, who was in Kimberly Akimbo. God, what a great show. The place that plays the mom from Kimberly Akimbo, who was incredible. Was she a Glinda? She was a Glinda. Wow. And she was amazing. And I was watching her do Popular. And like, I love watching these old like Broadway versions because so many of them find these little things. And she did this thing where she, you know, when Glinda is like, ball gown. And it doesn't work. And she goes, ball gown. She goes, ball gown. It doesn't work. And she goes, ball gown.

And I was like, I had never seen that choice before. And I was like, love that choice. Just make a choice. Theater is back. Theater is back. Thank God. I'm exasperated, frustrated. Just make a choice. Just make a fucking choice. I don't know at this point. No skies. Guys, come on. Speaking of choices.

because now we're going to have to make the choice to I Don't Think So Honey I know because it's 2.49 and we did know this would be one of those episodes that went L-O-N-G and we were right but that's good because it's your time back and now speaking of time this is a segment that we do that uses 60 seconds of time to get something across that's a frustration oh god did you forget?

On the way here, I was trying to think of things and it was like... Yeah. It is what it is. It is what it is. You're going to come up with something fucking brill. We got to go. You go. No, no, no. Because we got a text message saying that Kat's got to go downtown. Okay. Oh, did we? Okay. You got to go downtown. What's downtown?

I have an interview. Oh, fuck yeah. All right, I'll go. Okay, this is Matt Rodgers. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Everyone in my DMs when I did my end of summer post being like, actually, summer ends on September. I'm like, you know what? You've had three months of it. You've had actually probably more than it if you're a gay guy because I know you and I know that your summer probably started in the middle of May. It definitely started Memorial Day weekend. Summer, it happened.

There are four seasons. It was June, July, August. That summer, that is a quarter of the year. You had it. So Labor Day happened. I'm sorry, girls. Like, I understand that the calendar says, like, summer continues. 30 seconds. It's not really going to continue. Go outside? Hate to say it, but look at this. Look at my friend. Look at what she's wearing. She's wearing a goddamn sweater. And that's out of necessity. It's freezing out there. It is the nip in the air, the bite in the air. I welcome the bite. Call me Sookie Stackhouse, bitch.

Bite the neck. Put a cane on teeth in the side of my neck. Fall. Suck me dry. Five seconds. If you can, because the summer already fucking has. It's over. Gays, get out the DMs. Labor Day has come. It's gone. It's fall. And that's one minute. And you're going to be happy. Just calm down. It's okay. It's not the end of the world. The defensiveness of me posting that end of summer. I was like, meet us summer 2024. And it was a video of me diving in the water. Oh, that's cute. It's not...

They're like, it's not over. It's still three more weeks of summer. I'm like, that's cute for you. People are very sick. People are very sick. Imagine not having had enough of summer 2024. We had plenty. A lot happened. We're good. We're cooked. Yeah, we had a good chunk.

All right, cats gotta go. Let's do this. So this is Bowen Yangs. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Chimp crazy. I think this documentary is false advertising. You think it's going to be fun. You think it's going to be Tiger King vibes. Same people who did Tiger King. It is so upsetting. There is actually, there's trigger warnings for flashing strobe lights. Cool. No problem. No trigger warning for the crazy, bloody, violent,

things that are depicted in the show that are documented that show multiple chimps ripping off chunks of flesh from multiple people. 30 seconds. Usually women. This subculture of, they talk about this, this subculture of almost exclusively women raising these chimps like they're babies is so fucked. We need to do something about this. Tanya Haddix is...

Must be stopped. She is a liar. She pulled a Robert Durst that was even worse because she admitted to the thing while the cameras were rolling. It wasn't like she went to the bathroom and said it on mic. Five seconds.

This is such an upsetting documentary. Of course, I'm in too deep with it and I have to finish this one more episode, but it's terribly upsetting. Animal, the exotic animal community is sick. Carnies, circus people, I'm sorry. I support you in theory, but the vibe, the culture around what you guys do is really upsetting. And Missouri changed the laws. Anyway, that's-

I haven't seen it. That is a shock. That's horrible. I mean, honestly, we were on the plane the other day coming back from Toronto and I looked over because Bowen was just every now and then he would just make a sound at the iPad like, ugh. And I looked over and literally what I saw without seeing any sound because I haven't gotten to watch it yet but I will, unfortunately, was really,

harrowing. So fun. You see blood and shit. This is Netflix? It's HBO. I mean, where can I watch this? Well, they've been on fire with the upsetting docs. No, yeah. What else? Quiet on set. Oh, okay. That's perfect. My favorite doc. Mother God. That was the best thing I've ever seen in my life. Mother God. Mother God. These are my tools. Alcohol and marijuana. Okay. Talk

Taco Salad, Galactic Taco Salad, Wicked BTS are Ariana Grande's favorite documentary. She can do a Mother God impression. She can do the unimpression of the girls who are like, yeah, yeah, so Mother God would like that. Her team of hotties? Yes. I mean, they're all gorgeous. But the dirty, dirty, dirty people. They were just, wait, sorry. At one point, Sup Podcast described

Kristen Doty's boyfriend as father multiverse coded and I was like crying tears of laughter okay I'm scared no don't be don't be afraid you are don't be afraid you're a legend I'm not it's the wizard who should be afraid of me is this helping you? uh

This is Catherine Cohen's I Don't Think So, Honey. Her time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey, the style, the way the style is right now, it's not looking good. The style looks very bad. There's no carpet anymore. Bring back the carpet. I want carpet. I want warmth. I want a

I want carpet on the floor. I want a restaurant where it's not so screaming loud. I want curtains that are lush. This building. I hate this building. I walk in. They're screaming at me. Everything's hard. Everything's cold. I go to a hotel. There's not a single bathtub in sight. It's shower made of part of a door. There's a shower made. There's water, water without a door. Water without a door. I don't want water without a door. I want, I need the style to change. Everything looks like a ship. Everything looks like an old,

Everything looks like a new ship. And that's, I need things that are old. I want coziness. I want sconces. Give me a sconce, you stupid bitch. I want art on the walls that isn't like the word Paris. Come on. The style has to change. I don't think so. I need a style. I don't think so. I need a style. Make it warm. Make it, give it character. I went to England. The buildings are old. They are beautiful. Everything here is new, hideous. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't need this. I don't need this. I need the style that's really changed. And then,

I thought, God, you felt modern tonight. Now you're wanting all fucking old shit. I need the style change. Admit it. If you go into a hotel, it's hideous. Which hotel? Every hotel. Go stay at the Bowery. I live here. The Bowery is the only hotel that's like doing it. Can't go there anymore. Wait, hold on. I'm sorry. Everything's like a new ship. Like a new ship. I meant it should look like an old ship. But.

Everything's okay. No, sorry. Not an old ship, not a new ship. A cruise ship. You don't like modern aesthetics. You think no. I think modern aesthetics, when done right, are unbelievably gorgeous, but so rarely are they done right. So often they're done out of necessity because of the price point, not out of a choice artistically. Of course. Of course. Well, interior designers are listening. Yes. I just think everywhere I go, when I get to the hotel room and I'm like,

There's no bathtub. Oh, the tub is huge. There's no like lush curtains. Everything's like gray and like everything's gray and flat. You and Bri should do a staycation at Hotel Chelsea. You'll be so happy. Oh, yeah. Carpet's everywhere.

- Carpets are tough for me. - No, carpets also, they mute the sound. So you're having an intimate conversation when there's carpet. - An intimate time. - An intimate time. I hate that I'm running late. - Okay, okay, okay. - I know, we gotta go. - I have to go. - Well, the thing is, this was beautiful and brilliant and we are just so happy. - See you tomorrow, same time. And we're doing this at the same time tomorrow. - We love you so much. - I can't believe this is coming out tomorrow. It's so funny. - Coming out tomorrow. - I'm laughing. - I'm laughing. - I'm laughing. So you just know that when we recorded this, it was just yesterday. So it's not that different than it is now.

Although it could be. It could be. Come For Me is out October 17th. Please God, watch it. Please God. Here's what I'll say. It's on a streaming service called Veeps. Veeps. Yeah. Check it out. Period. An announcement coming soon. Only murders in the building. And now. And if you haven't seen my first special, it's on Netflix. It's called The Twist. She's gorgeous. So watch that as a little, as a palate cleanser. As a little aperitif. As an aperitif. That's what I meant. The one before. Yeah. And then dive into the new October 17th. My new special, Come For Me. There's a full band. Oh, yeah.

Oh my God. And we shot at the Gramercy Theater. Oh, I love the Gram. Sexy. And I have new custom jumps through. It's unbelievable. Oh my God. Really good. I'm very proud of it. So it's harder to access than Netflix, but we can do it together. Yeah, but you know what? Sometimes it's the climb. And that actually reminds me of a song. And that's the way that we're going to end this episode. It's the climb. The baguette. Bye. Okay. Bye everyone. Love you.

And our music is by Henry Kaburski.

Welcome to the Cooper residence. Cooper McAllister. I'm surprised you put my name first. Come on in. From the brains behind the Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon, CBS is excited to welcome back some beloved, familiar folks. I am so glad that you and Cece are here. And Georgie. Atta girl. It's a whole new chapter. Georgie and Mandy's first marriage premieres CBS Thursday, 8, 7 central and streaming on Paramount+.

But not so much of that.

Sign up at WorkMoney. Get money-saving tips. Skip the rent. Get more rich. Sign up at WorkMoney.org slash MoreRichContest for your chance to win $50,000. This election season, the stakes are higher than ever. I think the choice is clear in this election. Join me, Charlemagne Tha God, for We The People, an audio town hall with Vice President Kamala Harris and you, live from Detroit, Michigan, exclusively on iHeartRadio. They'll tackle the tough questions, depressing issues, and the future of our nation. We may not

see eye to eye on every issue, but America, we are not going back. Don't miss this powerful conversation with Vice President Kamala Harris. Tomorrow at 5 p.m. Eastern, 2 p.m. Pacific on the free iHeartRadio app's Hip Hop Beat Station.