Welcome to I Do, Part 2
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This election season, the stakes are higher than ever. I think the choice is clear in this election. Join me, Charlemagne Tha God, for We The People, an audio town hall with Vice President Kamala Harris and you, live from Detroit, Michigan, exclusively on iHeartRadio. They'll tackle the tough questions, depressing issues, and the future of our nation. We may not see eye to eye on every issue, but America, we are not going back.

Don't miss this powerful conversation with Vice President Kamala Harris. Tomorrow at 5 p.m. Eastern, 2 p.m. Pacific on the free iHeartRadio app's Hip Hop Beat Station. Do you ever wonder where your favorite foods come from? Like what's the history behind bacon-wrapped hot dogs? Hi, I'm Eva Longoria. Hi, I'm Maite Gomez-Rejon. Our podcast, Hungry for History, is back. And

And this season, we're taking an even bigger bite out of the most delicious food and its history. Saying that the most popular cocktail is the margarita, followed by the mojito from Cuba and the piña colada from Puerto Rico. Listen to Hungry for History on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, 1974. George Foreman was champion of the world. Ali was smart and he was handsome. Story behind the Rumble in the Jungle is like a Hollywood movie. But that is only half the story. There's also James Brown, Bill Withers, B.B. King, Miriam Akiba. All the biggest black artists on the planet. Together in Africa. It was a big deal. Listen to Rumble, Ali.

Foreman, and The Soul of 74 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. ♪

Welcome, everyone, to something that you've never heard before and maybe never even heard of before, because this is going to be something brand new. It's not just a podcast. It's an interactive social experiment. And we're going to bring all of you into our world, those of you who are looking for love, who've been burned by love, and who are looking for love.

We know what you're feeling. We've walked down that road. In fact, some of us are still walking down that road. So welcome everyone to the brand new podcast called I Do Part Two.

I am one of your hosts, one of four hosts, Amy Robach, along with my partner, the love of my life, TJ Holmes. After that intro, I didn't feel like the love of your life. It seemed like... I'm still on the road, on my journey. There was some journey I didn't think... I thought we were on one together, maybe. I didn't realize.

You just pick me up along your journey and then I guess you'll drop me off at the next exit and continue your journey, perhaps. Well, we're on a journey. We're on our dating journey. We'll see where the road takes us. Good Lord have mercy. I want to introduce our other esteemed hosts who have lived to tell.

a lot that we'll be sharing with you. The one and only Jenny Garth, who needs no introduction. Hello, Jenny. Hi, everybody. I am so excited. I'm fangirling. Oh, right. This is going to be so fun. Yeah, this is something that I don't think there's

ever been a podcast like this before. We are taking love to the next level, you guys, and we're really excited to be doing this with you. Oh, yes. We can't wait to hear everything that you all are feeling. We'll share what we've been going through so you can, well, you won't feel so alone, right? Also, our fourth, and, you know, certainly not last, save the best for last, right? Jana Kramer. Hey, guys. Also needs no introduction, actress, singer, podcast host. Jana, you, um,

you've lived a lot of life and you still have a lot more to go. You know what I've realized is that we all have, and this is what I love about the show is we all have a past. We all want one thing, right? It's love. And so I think with all of us having a podcast and sharing our stories on the podcast that we do, we wanna help other people through our stories. And with this podcast, the fact that we get to be interactive is why I was like, sign me up. Yes, we're all excited because look, we've all...

I don't know if it's fair. We've been unlucky in love. We've learned a lot of lessons along the way through some loves, many loves. But this is a chance for all of you who are listening, who've had a rough patch or who have had troubles in their love life.

if it didn't work out the first time, if it didn't work out the second time, the third time, whatever, this is your opportunity to have another shot at love. And, and Jenna, it's, it's what first, second time, third time. What's the charm for you? Why do we have to keep count? That's the thing. Like, I don't, why are,

I'm with you, Jana. It's not necessary. It's so not necessary. Is that always a part of it? Because I know I have felt the shame that a marriage didn't work out in the second marriage. But Jana, you kind of make a really good point there. It's too much emphasis been on, well, you didn't get it right the first time. Something's wrong with you. Not the second time. Oh, something's really wrong. Right? Yeah.

I think where my situation, because on paper, it shows that I've been married four times. And I think that's the piece where for many years, I was trying to defend that piece because when I look at my past, I'm like, I didn't have... Like when I look, I go, okay, I really was married in my mind once. It was a six-year struggle. I'm married now to the absolute love of my life. But those first two, I mean...

I don't get to have that. I don't get to explain it. I did when I wrote my book, but you know, when I was 19, I met my abuser and I don't, to me, that wasn't a marriage. No one even knew we got married. I knew him for two weeks. We went to Vegas, said I do. So silly. And, you know, an

No one knew we got married until we went to court when he tried to kill me. So he was off to jail for attempted murder. So... Oh my God. There's... I know, sorry, not to like... But there's a story within all of our dating lives. And so, you know, that's the asterisk that when people talk about it, I'm like, it is not fun to see my abuser's name every time they talk about my relationship history. You know, everyone's like, oh, you were married to this person. I'm like, that was my abuser. And that set the stage for my relationships after that. And...

you know, I married someone for the next, the second one was a week. I'm like, I don't call those marriages. I knew I was trying so hard and I was, you know, early twenties to be chosen and to be loved. And by the time that after three years of him just being like, of me saying, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me. He finally said, okay, I love you. And then I realized, wait a minute, I never actually loved him. I just wanted to feel chosen and loved. So I married a man for a week and,

And when at my wedding, I cried in the bathroom going, wait, this is not what I wanted. This is, this was not it. And I don't want to have a broken family. I don't want to have kids with this man and then be divorced like my parents. And so, you know, did more work and all the healing. And then I married my last ex who, you know, he had multiple, multiple affairs for six years. And at that point, I'm like, people, I'm like, do people honestly think that I wanted to get divorced? I didn't want to have kids to get divorced. Right.

And I could not stay in something that was unhealthy for myself and for the kids. So I had to leave. And so on paper, it looks terrible. But I also am at a point now where I'm like, yes, I just spent the last two minutes defending my past. But also there's a piece of it where it's like, I have dropped the shame because I know what the truth is in those situations. And people are always going to look at someone's past and just see the cliff notes of it. But they don't know the story. They don't know what actually was happening.

actually what happened and my heart in it was, the bottom line is we all want love. And I just went a long route to find it. Right. Well, that's the cool thing about this show, I think, is taking people's stories and turning them around and using it for positive reasons. Well, and hearing their stories, you know, giving them the opportunity instead of just reading the headlines, because that's what drives me nuts. I'm like, you have no idea. Those headlines are what are so unfair. People don't have any idea. I love what you said, Jana, because...

It's so easy to look at, especially I think people in the public eye and say, you know, and almost laugh at it. But these are anyone who goes through, we're all human beings and any sort of breakup, whether it's a marriage or a boyfriend or a girlfriend, it hurts the same. And to see the headlines, it doesn't even get into anything.

any of the details of what all of the parties were actually feeling. So I think that's it's such a good point. And I think everybody, if they're honest with themselves, knows what it feels like to have a heartbreak or to have a breakup. So when you're in that heartbreak, it's like you don't think you're ever going to feel love again.

or you don't want to. My last divorce, I was, cause I'm like, all right, now I've been married three times. Who is going to love me? I've got two kids. I must be the common denominator. I mean, I'm bawling in my bed and I'm like, no one's gonna love me. And I'm like, no, you know, three years later I'm married and I have a baby like, and I have found the love of my life. But you truly like, you think that you are, you're done for and people are just going to look at your past and be like, you're, you're not worthy of the love.

Do you still find it, Jenna, in listening to you, do you, maybe you're trying to break the habit, but you say it looks bad on paper. But when folks see it on paper, do you find yourself, okay, but let me explain those first two. Do you find yourself still trying to... I mean, I did it here. You did it here, but I mean, for the sake of conversation is one thing. But it struck me that I wonder, do you still feel like you have to explain it? Because in some way, it's still on paper looks bad.

You know what? The first time I didn't feel like I had to explain it was actually to my now husband. He was just like, I don't. And I always felt like I had to with previous relationships be like, oh, this is what happened here. And he was just like, he did not care. He saw me for me and thought my past was strength as opposed to, you know, he's like you, you, you fought and you, um, you know, you, you love. And I think that's,

that's a beautiful quality. Like, you know, people always want to talk about JLo. I'm like, listen, she loves, you know, she's just trying. And it's like, she said, she even said she had a bad picker, but it's like, you know, yes, I have too, but I was also broken in those pieces too. So, I mean, to answer your question, I think it's one of those things where I don't call those marriages. I really don't. I say now I've been married twice because those are marriages. Those first ones were not.

Yeah. And Jenny, do you, I mean, you've obviously been in the public eye since you were young. I told you I was fangirling because I grew up with you watching alongside. We went to high school together, didn't we? Yeah, we did. Right. I feel like that. I feel like, yes.

But to have – you were married young. TJ and I were both married very young. We both got married at 23. You were in the public eye from the very beginning. What were your – what was your experience getting divorced and being a mom and then finding love again? Yeah, I mean, I got married at 21. My situation was I had – my father was sick for years, and he was my hero. And I was looking for somebody –

to keep me safe and protect me from this insane world that I was living in. And I needed somebody to be a rock for me. And I was trying to fill that position. And I made some hasty decision on that first marriage and also doing it so young and not having a lot of people around me that

asked me to really look at that decision. And before I knew it, it was happening. And then before I knew it, it was over. And before I knew it, I was having, you know, onto my next relationship. So I feel like

That was just too young for me personally. But I did learn from it for sure. And I think that's the beauty of Jana, of everybody's journey here is that the lessons we have learned, the things we've learned about ourselves that we want in a relationship, the things we learned that we don't want in a relationship. So we have gotten to get so clear about what works for us and what doesn't. And that's a great

to be in, for people to really define what they're looking for and what's not acceptable to them and to really focus on that. And I hope that in this show, that's what people will learn to do while, you know, having fun, dating, figuring it all out.

And also learn to just cut themselves some slack because, yeah, Jana, we made bad choices. Things didn't work out, you know, whatever. It doesn't really matter. But you're right. On paper, it can be a little bit like, oof, that doesn't look great. Yeah. We have been talking about that. There are four divorces between the two of us. But, Annie, I even hate to use the word failure or mistake because—

because I got two beautiful girls out of it, out of my first marriage. And the second one, all of those missteps created...

I am who I am today because I went through that. And had I not gone through that, I wouldn't be where I am now. TJ, I mentioned you got married at 23. And Jenny, I was hearing you say 21 and not being ready. Some of the mistakes, I can look back now and say I had to go through this and I needed to learn this and this. But is there any way or any of the four of us

Right. You've got to learn. Right.

Two of them would already be married if things were different, if they had lived my life. But I look at them and I say, they're not living my life. They have to make their own choices. They have to learn their own mistakes. And I've been asking myself this question a lot. Will I tell them the truth about how I really feel? Or will I hold back and let them make their mistakes? I don't know the answer to that, honestly, yet, because I haven't been through it.

I'm pretty sure I'm on the cusp in, you know, on the 27, even the 21 year old, they're in relationships. And I don't know what will happen with that. But I know it will all work out because there's that risk, you know, as a mom, like, do I

Tell them what I really think or do I hold back and let them make their mistakes? That's tough for a parent to stand by and watch. Because honestly, at the end of the day, I don't know. They could be making the absolute best right choice. I really don't know.

This election season, the stakes are higher than ever. I think the choice is clear in this election. Join me, Charlemagne Tha God, for We The People, an audio town hall with Vice President Kamala Harris and you, live from Detroit, Michigan, exclusively on iHeartRadio. They'll tackle the tough questions, depressing issues, and the future of our nation. We may not see eye to eye on every issue, but America, we are not going back.

Don't miss this powerful conversation with Vice President Kamala Harris. Tomorrow at 5 p.m. Eastern, 2 p.m. Pacific on the free iHeartRadio app's Hip Hop Beat Station. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had.

We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations.

I was a desperate, delusional dreamer. And the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that. Like years of work.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.

Hey everyone, Amy Robach here along with TJ Holmes and we have a very exciting announcement to make to all of you. We are expanding. We are now going to be coming to you Monday through Friday for a new part of our Amy and TJ franchise, if you will, The Morning Run. We're going to help listeners navigate the busy news cycle and the historic political season that the country is facing and we're going to do this now each and every day. Wow, we have a news franchise.

franchise now i like the way you put that we're going to be covering all the latest news headlines for all of you we'll have entertainment updates and we'll even give some perspective on the current events that are happening right now and this by the way is in addition to our already established bi-weekly podcast that we hope you guys are tuning into as well

with more in-depth conversations and interviews. So we're going to be with you Monday through Friday with Morning Run. Listen to Morning Run on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

It's funny because I had joked with my daughters, and I think they've lived a lot of life with me, especially in the last two years. They're 21 and 18. But I used to joke and say, if you want me to pay for your wedding, you have to be 28 when your adult brain has formed. Because don't they say at 27, that's when you actually have adult capacity, brain waves going through. So I joked with them about that. But then I want to point out,

My brother and his wife were middle school, high school sweethearts, got married at 22, and they have one of the strongest, most beautiful marriages I've ever personally seen. And my parents got married at 18 and had me at 19 and are still together and just celebrated their 52nd wedding anniversary. Oh, my, Sue, never know. You know, I don't think – I'm not here to say, oh, the mistake was that I got married at 23. No.

I don't think we know who we are. And my mom will say she got lucky that she married someone who had similar values, who they had similar backgrounds, and it just, they grew up together. And that can work. So I'm not here to say

wait until you get older. Right. The timeline of things are as interesting because a lot of people now are like, Oh, here you go again. You got engaged and had a baby so quick and got married so quickly after, you know, meeting. And I'm like, listen, when you're in your forties, things move a little quicker too. You know, it's, and you know, you know, things. So it's,

For us, I was like, I don't think there's a timeline. I know people that have dated for years and are in an unhappy marriage. I know people that had dated for two months and got married and are in a beautiful relationship. So I don't think that timeline, I do agree on the age piece of it because at 19, yeah, that was stupid to go off to Vegas with someone I didn't know. But also I look at it as a childhood stamp too where I didn't feel like I could go to my parents to talk to them about that. Yeah.

Yeah. I think it's a beautiful thing when I see – some people may call it foolish or stupid, but I tend to be someone who looks at it through more of a romantic lens. I think it's a beautiful thing that you feel that passionately about somebody that you want to commit to them, and there's a real love of love in a weird way, and sometimes that creates rash decisions, and maybe you're not thinking it through the way you should. And I point to myself as well because I only had –

On paper, six months between my two marriages, neither of which worked out. So I didn't, you know, take a beat. Would you get married again? Because that was the question that people always ask me. And I'm like, yes. I'm like, yes, absolutely. I love the concept and the idea. And I want, that's what I've wanted for so long. I just got it wrong. Isn't it funny? I have said the same thing. I have always wanted a life partner.

I have always wanted to be married. I never wanted that single carefree thing. It wasn't something I ever aspired to do or to live alone or any of those things. So I think that is why maybe we have been in multiple marriages because there's been this desire to have a partner and a desire to make it work. Both of my marriages, I mean, technically, I think ended up being 13 years, but we left after 12 years in both of them. I tried.

That's a good run. Not that you don't try if you if you actually I knew much earlier, much, much earlier. But you stay because you you want it to work. You love the idea of marriage. But yes, I do want to I do want to be married. And I do love the idea of having a partner and sticking with each other through the good days and the bad. TJ, you feel the same.

I was about to say, I'm right here, guys. I'm right here. Let me just make sure this is aligned because this is what we're going to do on the show, right? We're going to make sure people are aligned, right? We are so perfectly aligned in that regard. And I suppose I am. I talk about I don't like rom-goms and whatnot, but I am such a fan of love. There is nothing I love more than a wedding.

It's just the idea of somebody making that commitment and a new beginning and building something together. I absolutely love it. I love weddings, too. You're right. Even if it's not my wedding, I always cry at someone's wedding. Even if it's not my wedding. Oh, I hope we get to have a wedding here. Let's do that, you guys. Let's have...

The first podcast wedding. And then we have to go. That's the thing. So whoever, like, they actually get married, we're all going to their wedding. Absolutely. 100%. We are your guests. You have to invite us. At the last wedding, I'm just putting this out there, that TJ and I went to, TJ gave the blessing. He also can be inefficient. So he can step up in a couple roles if we have any lucky couples that come out of this podcast. I can only marry people in New York and in Madison, Wisconsin.

I'll explain later why those are the two places. Can I throw a question to you guys really fast? Yeah. About the timeline to a wedding or engagement. Is there something where it's, are you guys wanting to wait a longer time? Are you wanting to, or is it like, do you feel like, and you don't have to answer this if you don't want, I'm just kind of curious, like because of

you know, the divorce on both sides. I remember talking to my now husband about it and it's just, is there something where like, all right, we've already have grown kids. We're not trying to have more so we can wait. Or is it,

Do you have to check boxes off first? Like what's kind of that journey at the stage you guys are at with where your kids are at too? Yeah, so I just sent my baby off to college. So I am now officially an empty nester. TJ has an 11-year-old who we love. And it's actually, it's an amazing, it actually makes me want to cry at how beautiful it all is. Like that is all, we needed to get all of that

in line and everybody on board. And they are. But in terms of there is no urgency in the sense that, yes, I mean, I'm 51 years old. I don't need to rush into anything. And I think I have rushed into everything in my life up until now. But he knows I want to get married and I know he wants to get married. And we've both said to each other and publicly that we want to live our lives together. So we haven't

put a timeline together. And I don't think we, you know, we talk about it all the time. I don't think a week goes by where we don't discuss like, should we? Should we? We were talking about it today. We actually were just talking about it 20 minutes ago, 30 minutes ago. Jenna, no kidding. We were sitting outside of the studio where we are just having a conversation. And I said, you know what? How would this day be different if we were married? Right. Yeah. And does it, does it change? Does it, you know, like,

If there's no urgency, then do you just life partner it like Goldie and Kurt? So it's so funny. I talk about Goldie and Kurt all the time because I love the idea of choosing someone every day. However, that's scary as shit to me too at the same time. So there is a safety and there is a comfort and there is an ease in knowing that person has publicly and legally committed to working it out with you. That walking away is something that

doesn't seem like such an easy option. And that's always the fear. If things get tough, if things get hard, if you know you can just walk away, that's a scary thing on one hand. But on the other hand, it's also a beautiful thing that you continue to choose each other. So I'm... I do think that there would be... I think I would feel just...

and a little bit more comfortable eventually if we married. Like, that's just me being honest. I even hate admitting that, but that's just the truth. But I don't think it would change who we are. I think it's a beautiful thing that having that safety is, that's not a, you don't need him, but that feeling of safety with all of it is a beautiful thing. I don't look at that as a bad thing. I wouldn't be embarrassed to admit that. Let me make sure I'm being clear here. I do want to marry.

But it's a weird thing to, there are some points in my life where I wanted to get married. Like I want to get married. This is the first time where I can actually say I want to marry her. It's a little different mentality. People always, I'd like to get married one day. And

No, it's different for me this time around where marriage is not supposed to be the... It doesn't feel like it's the next step or what needs to be done. It's been so long now. No, I just want to marry her. I feel that so much in my bones because I cried to my now husband. I was like, I wish I would have saved that walk just for you. Like if I am like I... It hurts that I...

I've done it before because I was just checking that box. Like, okay, we had the, I couldn't cancel the wedding because we had an okay magazine exclusive. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, oh, I didn't even want to do it. You know, I get it. I get it. This is just like, I can't cancel this. I might as well just divorce him a week later. Cause that sounds better. You know, like that's where my 20 something brain was at, you know, like how ridiculous, but I'm like, I just want to walk to you. Like, I wish I saved that for you. Cause I'm like, I want to marry you.

Yeah. I think that's so funny because before, you know, that's public pressure, the OK Magazine thing, which I totally get. I experienced that. I mean, it paid half the wedding. I had to do it. How could I cancel people's plans? But even, you know, when I was 23 and was, you know, a budding journalist, the pressure of the invitations having gone out, the pressure of knowing people were and me knowing already that I probably didn't want to do this, but it was too afraid. I told my mom the night before, I'm

I don't know that I love this person. And yet the pressure, once the wedding's on, once the invitations are sent out, once you know people are expecting you to get married, to call it off is...

It was just too daunting. And I don't know if any of you all experienced that. But, you know, I think and everyone says, oh, it's just pre-wedding jitters. But I think sometimes, you know, and you just can't stop the train from leaving the station. Jenny feels this one. I know. I just think that that's what's so cool about this podcast is that we are going to be able to use our wisdoms, our expertise, if you will, just our history, the things that we have learned to help other people make decisions.

you know, intentional decisions that they are well thought through and they can learn from our experience, hopefully. Because, you know, sometimes people that are close to us, like our moms or our sisters, or somebody's going to tell us, you know, like I was talking about before, not to do it or thinking about it, or this isn't going to change, bringing these things to their awareness. I think that's super important. And I think that I would, I would

be so excited to be a person that gets to have this experience with all the four of us and actually be making decisions that I feel really good about. Well, also on top of that too is, and I don't want to speak for everyone, but I've done a crap ton of therapy. So just like my mom, I was helping her with her marriage the other day. She's on her second and

You know, I was telling her, I'm like, all right, mom, you got to set up these boundaries. And she's like, man, that therapy really helped you, didn't it, Jana? I'm like, well, yeah, mom, you should also give it a try. You know, like. Yeah, it helps. We can help people in that area too. I have a question for you guys. What do you think people do wrong when they're picking a partner? Like just in general, not us, but like what do people do wrong when they're picking a partner? I think you're basing a decision on a feeling, right?

And feelings change. And I think you have to have, I think the biggest mistake I can only speak for myself that I made is not looking for a friend first.

And a partner and a lover is obviously an important part of the equation. But I think you get caught up and swept up in catching feelings. And you don't see things clearly. You are blinded by love or lust maybe. It's not even love. And I think that is what can steer people in the wrong direction.

This election season, the stakes are higher than ever. I think the choice is clear in this election. Join me, Charlemagne Tha God, for We The People, an audio town hall with Vice President Kamala Harris and you, live from Detroit, Michigan, exclusively on iHeartRadio. They'll tackle the tough questions, depressing issues, and the future of our nation. We may not see eye to eye on every issue, but America, we are not going back.

Don't miss this powerful conversation with Vice President Kamala Harris. Tomorrow at 5 p.m. Eastern, 2 p.m. Pacific on the free iHeartRadio app's Hip Hop Beat Station. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had.

We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations.

I was a desperate, delusional dreamer. And the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that. Like years of work.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.

Hey, everyone. Amy Robach here along with TJ Holmes. And we have a very exciting announcement to make to all of you. We are expanding. We are now going to be coming to you Monday through Friday for a new part of our Amy and TJ franchise, if you will. The Morning Run. We're going to help listeners navigate the busy news cycle and the historic political season that the country is facing. And we're going to do this now each and every day. Wow, we have a news franchise.

We'll be right back.

with more in-depth conversations and interviews. So we're going to be with you Monday through Friday with Morning Run. Listen to Morning Run on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

I picked wrong, a different type of wrong partner between 20 and 25, different type of wrong partner between 25 and 30. It sometimes depends on where people are. And the older, we had this conversation with a friend of ours, a grown ass woman who's doing her thing. And it was amazing to hear how she was, how she was not so sure or confident in her dating life, um, as his grown powerful woman. Um,

But in talking to her and hearing the type of person and people she was picking, it was like, you know better. I think folks know better at a certain stage in their life. And they make an excuse for, oh, well, okay, maybe he'll want kids later. Oh, okay, maybe she'll come around to this or that. I think we get to a certain point where you just don't trust those instincts. But that's 35 and above for me. Yeah.

20 to 30, make all the mistakes you want. You got some time to recover from them. And I think we, we think we can change people. I think we, we like something and we think, oh, I can, I can change, maybe women think this. I don't know if men think that, but I, I know that I thought, well, I can, I can change him. Yeah.

I can. And that is the biggest mistake. Are you thinking you could do that? No, I'm not. I'm not. Well, here's the deal too, though. I think it's not even so much about, yes, I think we think we can change them, but we hear what they say, not what they do. So they're saying, I won't do this again. So I...

I think we're going off of, or, you know, they, I'm not just saying like he or she, but like with the person that says like, oh, I'm not going to do this anymore. And then they do it. And that's where I love this show for the idea of helping people find the red flags in someone too, because they're,

I'm very much now on, okay, are they doing what they say? Are they walking the walk? Yeah, are their words and actions matching? Because if not, that is the biggest flag for me moving forward in any relationship. I think people also have an idea of what they want for their life and they try to fit it in. It's like you're putting an actor in the role, you know? And I think that sometimes we have to let go of that

And when it also in referencing, you know, you think you can change people. I think we all have learned. I feel like most of us have learned that we can't change people.

I feel like we need to learn that we don't want to waste our time. Make that decision about like, I don't want to live my life trying to change someone because if that's how they want to live their life, go do it, be you. But at the same time, you just need to really define what it is that you want. And I've fallen guilty of, and I don't

And I don't think it's a bad thing, like seeing potential in people and not necessarily wanting to change them, but knowing, TJ, what you were just talking about. We grow and we change and our definition of what we want and what we need and what is acceptable changes as we get older. It's more than just the idea of them. Mm hmm.

And Jenny, playing on what Jenna was saying a second ago about red flags and helping people on this podcast identify potential red flags, do you all go back, I mean all of us in our relationships,

We could see the red flag now in hindsight. But did we not want to see it in real time, Jenny? Do you look back at our relationship and we actually think, man, I didn't see that in real time. Or we did see it in real time. Oh, we saw it. We saw it. I mean, my ex-husband cheated within two weeks of us dating. And I'm like, it's fine. He was just nervous. He was just nervous.

So he was just nervous. You know, like he loved me so much is what he said that he just didn't know how to control that feeling. So, you know, he had to slide into someone else. I'm struggling over here.

Wow. But like we all see it. We just go again. We love to Jenny's point again. Why is we love the idea. I love the idea of him, you know? And so then you hear their words, they'll never do it again. And that's the point again, going back to making sure like the flags that we can help people go, okay, watch this, you know, because we want help to help people. Do you guys think age and age difference play a part in a successful pairing? Yeah.

Because for me, for my situation, I'm married to a man that's nine years younger than me. Oh, well, TJ is four and a half years younger than me. Wow. That half is what really makes it work. I always say, though, my friends are usually younger than me. I am 51 going on 30. Like, that's just I've always...

felt and just been a younger person. So, and I've gone older and it actually, the energies don't match. TJ, I don't know. I think...

We are both really young at heart. And I think the age for me, if you have – I don't think it matters. I think it's more if you enjoy doing the same things, if you have the same level of energy about certain activities. Like we just love doing things together and love to laugh. And so I don't know. Would you have been – if I had been older or younger, like would that have mattered to you? Older than you are now? Yes. Yes, exactly. No. No.

You put him on the spot. No, I never thought about your age for the eight years that we were good friends and best friends. It was never an issue. We just were great friends. So it was never a matter. I never thought I never had a chance to go, OK, she's that age. And is that too?

Is that okay with me? I never got a chance to do that. So this is a non-issue for us now. But you know what bothered me at first? I kept saying to you, I was like, does it bother you that I'm older than you? Like, I've never been the older one in the relationship. I just was like, what about when my number has a six and yours isn't a five? Like, I don't know. Like, does that, is that mentally an issue for men? I don't know. We will cross that geriatric bridge if we get to it, baby. Just, just, just.

I don't like it that I'm in my 50s and you're in your 40s. That does bother me. I don't love it. It's not a... It's not a... It's...

I'm sure you all experience you have to have someone with the same energy. You have to have someone with the same interest. But you can also be the exact same age and somebody be severely emotionally immature compared to the other. You can be wildly no matter what the age is. That could be a huge difference. That's the big gap I usually see more often than anything. Certainly in our jobs, our profession, sometimes people aren't on the same level emotionally.

career-wise. It doesn't even have to be financial, but at least in terms of ambition, at least in terms of what they're doing in a career, those things factor into the age as well as I see. Yeah. Jenny, what about for you? Because you said you had that eight-year gap. Nine years. Nine years. Trust me, I feel every one of them. Like that half, it's very important. I think that people...

You're right. Age is just a number. It's about your spirit and how you feel and how you guys align and how you get along and what you enjoy and do together. Those are all more important than the number. But I do feel like as...

I age and as he ages, we're both going through different things in our lives. We're in different developmental phases. We're in different, we have different needs. And it's about finding, if you're able to find a common ground with that person, because it's very easy to be like, oh, we're in different places in our life. And I have lived all of that up and down, all around. And I don't want to have to like,

Yeah.

to watching that growth for him. I enjoy seeing him evolve. And for me, it's a matter of, like you said, Amy, like, wait, when I'm... I do this in my head a lot. Like, when I'm 62, you're going to be 53. And, you know, like, I do the math a lot, which is weird for me because I hate math. But...

So it does creep in to the back of my mind sometimes. And I absolutely do notice differences in where we are in our lives. And then I have to do that thing where you're like, hmm, okay. And you do that 80-20 thing where I got to find 80% that I love. And then there's going to be that 20% that I have to ask myself, is this acceptable? Can I...

survive with these differences. And I think that that's important for people to ask themselves those questions going in because it does become part of the reality of a relationship. Yeah, to your point, what I'm, I think now this day and age of dating, you know, when I was single mom in the last few years, and I'm on the apps and swiping, I'm like, oh, there's a

a model after model. I'm like all these, the grass looks very green on the single side of things, but it is once you get into those relationships, it's everyone has their past. Everyone has their stuff. So it's sometimes I think people are like, I've got a few friends. I'm like, Oh, it must be so great to be single and dating. I'm like, it, it, it sucks. Like, you know, I'm like being single is tough. Being in a relationship is tough. Everyone has their stuff. So it's like, you know, I think it's also pointing that out where, um,

It's not always greener. Sometimes you need to put in the work, too. Yeah. Jenny, you said the 80-20 rule. I was not familiar with that. Is that a thing? It's something that I've learned in some of the work that I've done over the years. Yeah, that's something that I think is a realistic thing to consider because we're

And we're all our own people. And I also have this concept of there are two circles in every equation of a relationship. There are two circles. There's one person and then there's another person. And they are two complete and whole circles. And in the middle of those two circles is a square.

And that is the relationship. That's where the relationship lives and breathes. And the two circles have to put equal amounts into that square to make that square contain its shape and remain whole. And while doing that, those other two circles continue to be independent of the square. And I think that there's so many different ways of learning, like, how

How to hope and how to try and how to work for a successful relationship. There are a lot of different formulas, 80-20, circle, square, circle. Like, I have a lot of different concepts, but I've learned that all through therapy and through work and just, like, wanting so desperately to...

Be successful in a relationship. Like, love is very important for me. I do want to grow old with someone. And I feel like it takes work. It's not, for me, it's not just a magical you wear a ring and I wear a ring and we're forever together. Like, I want our relationship to be fulfilling. So I'm willing to put in that work and fill up that square even when I don't want to, you know? ♪

This election season, the stakes are higher than ever. I think the choice is clear in this election. Join me, Charlemagne Tha God, for We The People, an audio town hall with Vice President Kamala Harris and you, live from Detroit, Michigan, exclusively on iHeartRadio. They'll tackle the tough questions, depressing issues, and the future of our nation. We may not see eye to eye on every issue, but America, we are not going back.

Don't miss this powerful conversation with Vice President Kamala Harris. Tomorrow at 5 p.m. Eastern, 2 p.m. Pacific on the free iHeartRadio app's Hip Hop Beat Station. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists.

We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations.

I was a desperate, delusional dreamer. And the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that. Like years of work.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.

Wow, we have a news franchise.

We'll be right back.

with more in-depth conversations and interviews. So we're going to be with you Monday through Friday with Morning Run. Listen to Morning Run on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Do you guys think it's a deal breaker if someone doesn't want to go to therapy?

Because I have very strong opinions about therapy. I mean, it's changed me, my life, my relationships. So I would really struggle if my partner said that he wouldn't do therapy, whether it's, I'm not saying together, but, you know, even just for his own self-discovery and going and just talking to someone, whether it's once a month or every other month or whatever. I think that's individual because like, I think that's individual because everybody's different on that front, you know, and some people don't,

they don't believe in it, they don't need it, they're doing fine, whatever. I'm always like, you do you. But for me personally,

I love to grow. And I say, if I'm not growing, I'm slowing. And I want to keep growing until the last breath of my life. And for me, it's important to have a partner that recognizes that in me and loves that about me and also says, that's inspiring. And I kind of want to be, I want to do that too, because I see the fruits of your labor. I see how, I mean, how much I've changed from the beginning of even this relationship to

to where we are today. There's so much, there's a lot of change and a lot of growth that happens. And I feel like having a partner that wants to grow personally and together is really important, whether it's therapy or whether it's whatever. But Jenna, were you saying you, like a problem doesn't necessarily have to present itself in the relationship. It's just something you recommend and you would like for your partner to do as a regular checkup? Yeah, I mean, I think it's,

Listen, because I think we all have stuff. It's, you know, they say a lot in those places, like don't wait until something happens to go.

you should always kind of be refining and growing. And, you know, I think I definitely was like, it's not a deal breaker, but if something was to come up and it was his decision because he's dealing with, you know, being away from his son and challenges, it's good to talk to someone. And so I strongly encouraged it. But if someone was straight up like, no, I won't go,

ever, that would be like, oh man, that to me shows that they don't even want to try. Are you talking about like personal therapy versus couples therapy? I think it's a little bit of both. Like if we have, when we get into trouble or maybe some communication issues, you know, there might be a time where I'm like, hey, can we talk this out with a therapist? And if my partner was to say no, that would really make me go, wait a minute, like this isn't

this, why wouldn't you want someone to help us walk through something that we can't walk through together? Yeah. Yeah. Jenny, Jenna, is this something both of you all have done or continue to do a couples therapy? No, we've never done couples therapy, but I mean, um, he's done, he started his own journey because he's had things that he wanted to personally work on. And that's, it was his, you know, I, I mentioned like, Hey, maybe you should talk to someone. And

you know, the fact that he was open to it made me, you know, love him even more. The fact that he was willing to go talk to someone, but I would never force someone. But if that person gave a, I don't like therapy, I would never go. That would kind of make me go, eh, I don't know if I like that. And what about you, Jenny? I've been in that position where I didn't even at that time in my development know how beneficial therapy could be for me personally. So I wasn't like,

pushing for us to go to therapy or anything like that. But when someone shows that they are too afraid to grow and they're too afraid to look inside and find the answers within, that for me is a red flag because

I don't want to be blamed for their problems. You know, I don't want to be the reason that they're not happy. I want them to make themselves happy and for us to both be happy moving forward individually. And that's really important to me. TJ, as a guy, though, what are your thoughts? I feel you. I feel you bowing up a little bit. What are we feeling about therapy over there? No, I grew up. I never knew people went to therapy until maybe I was in my late 30s.

I grew up, I'm a black man in the South. We don't, there's no talk about, there's just some things that did not get discussed and never heard about, and you just...

My granddad had a third grade education and he raised seven kids on his own and all of them got college degrees. So what the hell I got to complain about? It's that kind of thing. This is where I grew up around. So it wasn't until recent years, I was the height of my professional success, but it was the lowest I'd ever been in my personal life. And I finally just hit a wall and somebody who wasn't even that close to me, recognized, identified it, immediately got me into therapy. And

It, um, it, it, it's true that they say it's like dating, right? You got to go around to therapist, the therapist and find one that works for you. So I had to do that little, that got exhausting for a little while. Um, but yeah, it, it has been helpful. It's not something I keep up, but it was helpful for a

uh, some of the darkest periods of my life. So absolutely. I haven't done couples therapy with robot yet. We've talked about doing so. We don't know why we just want to go and see what it's like. No, I mean, but there's something to it though. Cause so I think there's, I think there's a little bit, I think too much. So I think I had too much therapy with my last husband because we talked so much that I think it caused some more issues too. Hmm.

So there's a piece of that where I thought it was a, where I almost am like, now we're fighting more going to therapy. But I do think there's something where it is helpful when, you know, we might have different communication styles where it can be helpful for someone to go, okay, let me help you walk through this piece. And, and, or let's just get some tools. Cause that's the thing too, where, you know, my, my therapist even said to me the other week, she's like, you know, she

she's like, I'm not breaking up with you. She's like, but you're not in crisis anymore. You're, you're good. She's like, you don't have to come as often as you want. I'm like, no, I love coming. Like, I want to keep like growing and learning. And, you know, she's like, but you don't need to come every, you know, two weeks. She's like, let's space it out some more. God bless her. I love this therapist for you. But, you know, when it comes to like, you know, my husband and stuff, I've, I've taken a few tools that we've,

Which I'd love to tell, you know, someone when they, when they, when we help someone on the show and they find a partner, but there was a check-in that I stole from therapy from my last couple's sessions with my ex. And it was this check-in that we did. And I, I, I just, I sprinkled it in the other night with my husband and it's like, Hey, do you mind if we do this check-in just to.

you know, kind of feel it out. And he was like, wow, that was really helpful. So just having tools to have that healthy relationship and communication, I think is, is great. And things that we can bring to people too, that, you know, come on the show and help them find love with.

Oh, yeah. I mean, and I was very much like TJ, where I grew up in a family where I didn't know anyone who went to therapy. Nobody went to therapy. We went to church. And it was also just buck up, suck it up, you know, stop complaining and thinking about yourself and what you need is selfish. You need to give it to God. And so that's just kind of how I was raised. But I first went into therapy because

after I knew my first marriage was not something I wanted to be in and I didn't have the tools and how to communicate what I wanted or needed for myself, how to set boundaries. I had, I, I learned a lot about myself and I,

I've been in therapy. I'm not in it right now, but I spent a year of this past two years, weekly sessions, just working on myself, figuring out why I made the decisions I made and why I couldn't make the decisions I needed to have made. So I think I'm a huge fan of it. I do think there could be too much of it.

And so, you know, there is a way to strike a healthy balance. But yes, TJ and I have even talked about do we need to? We have communication issues. I don't know a couple who doesn't. And I think a lot of times it's just about misunderstanding intent and the ego gets involved. And it's just a way to learn communication.

How to trust your partner, I think, in a lot of ways, or how to talk to your partner in a way that they can understand. Like you understand. Right. But getting your significant other to understand, sometimes I make it worse when I try to explain. Sometimes when I'm trying to explain how I feel, now we just got into a worse fight. Well, this is why I always say to my husband when we're talking and walking through something, I'm like, before you respond, what did you hear me say? Because I need to see if you actually heard what I said.

So you're almost affirming what you heard. So I'm like, what did you know? I'm like, I'm like, well, no, don't even don't, don't debate it. Don't come back at me. What did you hear? And then he's like, I hear that you feel overwhelmed and, you know, stress. And I'm like, okay. So once you feel heard, then the, the, the energy of the room starts to calm down a little bit. That's good. That's good advice. I love that, Jana.

It's been very helpful. I think that's amazing. But if we did that, we would not hear at all what the other person was trying to say. But Jenna, you ask your husband, like, what did you hear me say? I have to ask Robach, sweetheart, do you know what you just said? The problem. He is a literal person. I listen. I listen. I'm like, but you know what I meant. He's like, no, I don't know what you meant. I know what you said. I know what you said.

And I think I don't want to put all women in this category, but I mix and blend emotion with logic. And sometimes the emotion is...

It overwhelms the logic. And so when I communicate it, it doesn't come out in the way he can hear it. And I think that men are more linear. Yeah, they want they're more they want to hear. Mine is like, well, you know what I was saying is like, I don't. And so that's frustrating to me. I'm like, but on an emotional level, you know where I come. No, I do not. Yeah.

That's where the check-in will be really good for you guys too. And for the I Do Too listeners, because those that can't do or teach, you know, those that can't teach. So this is what we're going to be helping those people. We'll be taking notes as well. We'll be taking notes. And when I do the check-in, I think you guys will really, when we talk about that one, you guys will really like that one. It's really good. I'm excited about all the people who we can potentially help. I know that we just want to let everyone know who's listening.

It's going to be happening over the next couple of weeks. We're going to introduce you to our panel of celebrity experts. And then we're going to ask that you all check in with us. We want to hear from you. We want to hear your stories. We want to hear where you are in your love life and what you need, what you want, what you're looking for. And we want you to

to let us help you. Yes. You know, we've lived a lot of life. We've traveled a lot of roads. And TJ, we are on the same road together, just to be clear. Just to be clear. The next stop will be fine. Okay, what did you just hear, TJ? What she just said, what did you just hear? I need you to repeat that one. Do you all have the same communications issues? Does this sound familiar to you two? Oh, yeah.

Yes, everybody does. Men and women are so different in how they hear and process and feel. We have to really acknowledge that sometimes. And remember, we're all different. We're so different. Exactly. So if you guys are looking for love, call us 1-844-4IDOPOD.

Guys, this is going to be so much fun. I know. I love, love. I love helping find people find like, I guess I set up, I'm trying to set up my ex-husband right now. I've set up other, you know, like I'm always like, oh, I dated this guy. Do you want to date him? Like he's great here. It just wasn't for me. Like this is-

I love to set people up. I do too. So my best friend, I set up with one of my producers at ABC News and now they just moved in together. I'm so excited. A matchmaking success. I actually set up my first ex-husband as well with his wife. It was a friend of a friend. And I said, do you have anyone that he can just, I don't know, hang out with? And she said, are you serious? You really want me to set...

your ex-husband or soon-to-be ex-husband up with one of my friends. And I said, exactly, I do. Oh my God. When you've got kids too, that's the thing. I'm like, I want to pick someone that's going to be helping raising my children. That's such a good point. No, it's true though. Like not to control it, but I want to control it. You are selecting the potential step-mom.

Not for me. Not for me. I was like, you are on your own. You go. You are on your own. I think if you get to a point like where I was in my first marriage, we were we were friends and that was that was kind of it. So it was an easy thing to do. And I wanted the best for him. And yes, I did want that.

to know that the person who my daughters at the time were two and five, this woman who they were going to be, that she kind of got a stamp of approval from my other friends. So it made me feel better about the whole thing. And it just turns out that it worked. So right now I have two matchmaking successes. How about you, TJ? You were working on one the other day. I don't hook people up. I got enough people.

problems in my own personal life and my relationships to screw somebody else's up. What are you going to do now? I what? You're taking a step into the matchmaking business. And I got the three of you here to make sure. We'll help you. We got your back. Don't worry. Thank you. I love it, guys. Well, should you send us off to let people know how they can find love again? Yes. You can email us. We gave you the phone number. I'll say it again. 1-844-4IDOO.

Pod, P-O-D. You can email us at idopod at iheartradio.com. You can follow us on Instagram, DM us, put a message in the replies at idopod2pod, idopod2pod.

That's the number two pod, right? Wait, what did I just say? I'm so confused. Can you just translate that for me, TJ? You want me to tell people what you were trying to say? Please, please do. I'm asking you to translate for me. It's on Instagram at idopart2pod. It's the digit two that you're supposed to use. That's what it was saying. Okay. idopart2pod. Okay.

As in the number. Don't spell out T-W-O. It's two, two. Okay. All right. So I love this. This is a fun tagline. I do part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. That's exciting. Hallelujah. And we're here to help you through all of our mistakes and all of our lessons. Do as we say, not as we did. Yes.

This election season, the stakes are higher than ever. I think the choice is clear in this election. Join me, Charlemagne Tha God, for We The People, an audio town hall with Vice President Kamala Harris and you, live from Detroit, Michigan, exclusively on iHeartRadio. They'll tackle the tough questions, depressing issues, and the future of our nation. We may not see eye to eye on every issue, but America, we are not going back.

Don't miss this powerful conversation with Vice President Kamala Harris. Tomorrow at 5 p.m. Eastern, 2 p.m. Pacific on the free iHeartRadio app's Hip Hop Beat Station. In California during the summer of 1975, within the span of 17 days and less than 90 miles, two women did something no other woman had done before. Tried to assassinate the President of the United States.

One was the protege of Charles Manson. 26-year-old Lynette Fromm, nicknamed Squeaky. The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI. Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore. The story of one strange and violent summer, this season on the new podcast, Rip Current. Hear episodes of Rip Current early and completely ad-free and receive exclusive bonus content by subscribing to iHeart True Crime Plus, only on Apple Podcasts.

Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, 1974. George Foreman was champion of the world. Ali was smart and he was handsome. Story behind the Rumble in the Jungle is like a Hollywood movie. But that is only half the story. There's also James Brown, Bill Withers, B.B. King, Miriam Akiba. All the biggest black artists on the planet. Together in Africa. It was a big deal. Listen to Rumble, Ali.

Foreman and the soul of 74 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.