I Choose...Kim Gravel
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Hi, this is Jenny Garth from the I Choose Me podcast. If you're managing a challenging mental condition, weekly therapy can sometimes feel like it's not enough. You may be looking for a way to spend more focus time on you. That's where Amend Mental Health Treatment Center comes in. I recently took a tour at Amend in beautiful Malibu, California, and the facility is so gorgeous and serene.

The dedicated team of doctors and therapists with deep clinical expertise were amazing. Designed to give you the time and space you need to have that breakthrough. They have two unique locations in Malibu that surround you in natural beauty and pure calm. Find out more at amendtreatment.com slash start. You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about the choices we make and where they lead us. My guest today is a dynamic, successful CEO and entrepreneur, a life coach and part of my amazing family at QVC. She has a fashion line, a beauty line. She's a TV and podcast host. She's the author of Collecting Confidence. She does it all, you guys. She's

Y'all, please welcome Kim Gravel to the I Choose Me podcast. We finally like connecting on some level. On some level. We have been trying to get a coffee, a lunch, something on the books for like months. We have got to get together. We're so busy. I know. Your line is killing. I'm so thrilled. We need you, Jenny Garth. Oh my gosh.

We are killing it together on QVC. Well, we've got to. We've got to keep her going. All right. When was the first time we met? Because I remember the first time we met when we were in Vegas and you were sitting on a tiny sofa next to Queen Latifah. Yeah, with you. You were across from me and you were sitting right next to Queen. Right. But we really met in my bedroom my senior year. You just didn't meet me, but I met you.

Oh, my God. No one has ever said that to me, Kim. No, I'm serious. Well, right, right. Really? Just every other day. I remember this. Let me just got to let me just fangirl for two seconds because I my parents would never let me have a stereo. This is how old we are. All right. Stereo. I had a stereo. I couldn't have a stereo or a boom bop.

In my bedroom or a TV until my senior year. And girl, I used to, I had a little old TV. Remember you have to get up and change the knobs. I didn't have remote control. And I would change. Jenny. Okay. Oh my God. Right. I love you. What night was it on Jenny? I can't remember what night. Wednesday. I think it was a Wednesday or Thursday. Yeah. That sounds good.

Did you love it? Oh, yeah. I mean, what an amazing way to grow up. Well, I'm telling you, that's when you became one of my best friends. 1989.

Oh, well, I'm glad that I finally got to meet you. Well, me too. Yeah. I don't know. I remember we went to that convention together. Yeah. And I remember looking at you there next to Queen and thinking, what? Who is this gorgeous creature? And you were a little quiet right then for some reason. So I didn't fully get it.

Okay. The Kim Gravel experience. Well, I was taking it all in. You were listening. Uh-huh. And then I listened to you speak on stage and I was really into your like straightforward talk and your positive messaging. I was so taken by it. And I realized at that point that

that I was so excited by what you have built. And I said to myself, I want to be like Kim Gravel. You're going to, you are doing it. You're doing it because you have such a strong point of view because that's,

That's what I think people don't get. And I got a little bit younger than most because of my upbringing, because of my parents. They're part psycho and part fabulous. So I mean, I think, you know, it's just they are the most down to earth, straight talking like my dad would go, yeah, if you want to do that, I'd lose 20 pounds by you.

I mean, that's how straight talk it was never demeaning. It was just always honest realism. Yeah. Very earnest. They were very earnest. My parents. So I grew up not knowing that. Wow. Well, that's not that you can't do that with everybody because a lot of people, a lot of people can't handle that kind of straight talk. But it does serve you. And it really helped me erase all the limitations that the world puts on you.

Hmm. It helps you like debunk or back up all the things. People say, well, you can't do that or you shouldn't do that. I'm always like, but why can't we? I don't know why we can't. You know, so it helps. It helps. What did you want to be when you were growing up? Whitney Houston. I wanted to be a singer. You did? I did. And do you sing? I do. I did for a long time. I sang contemporary Christian music. We made albums and we were on the radio and everything. And I was like,

And then I thought, you know, because I'm a person of faith. And then I thought, well, yeah, this church work's not going to work for me. I realized that's a calling. It's not a business. And I was like, I don't think I'm called to that. But I wanted to be like, you know, I wanted to be a singer. And then I realized one time my daddy said to me, he said, babe, whenever you go sing, don't sing without talking first.

He said, you're a great singer. He said, but you got to talk first. And then I thought, well, maybe, maybe I don't want to really be a singer because I don't, I love singing, but I love talking more, believe it or not. And then you went into pageants now, like major pageants. You were Miss Georgia. Hi.

Yeah, well, I mean, hello. I mean, it's a big deal. Don't get me wrong. I'm not shitting in the back. I'm taking that back. I'm taking the little thing back. I was in pageants because you know what, Jenny? You know what you know. You know where you're... You kind of follow the path of your parents. Very few people...

can venture out and become something completely, you know, that they were not surrounded by, you know? So for me, my mother did pageant. She was in Miss South Carolina. And so that was a place for me to sing and speak and earn money for school. And, and that, you know, star search had just come out, you know, so that was, I didn't want fame. I wanted to go to school because I majored in theology. I thought it was going to be a ministry my whole life, really, truly. So I majored in, so that was the way to pay for my school. So, you know, and my mom did them.

So I thought, well, that's the way to get that message out, you know, in a fun way. Who doesn't love the glam and wear beaded gowns by Bob Mackie? I mean, come on. I mean, you did. You were so... And then you had a reality show, right? About coaching. Yeah. Pageant. I enjoyed some of those episodes, by the way. Country come to town. So fun. Yeah. So we had a small business here. You know, it was not really a business. It was making no money, but it did...

It really did pay it forward for a lot of young girls. That's my heart and passion is to see young women really step into their power and their purpose and their potential. You know that because I had that done to me. Jenny, when I was really young, I was mentored by two Nancy's. One was related to Norman Rockwell. She was a painter and I was seven years old and I would just sit and eat chocolate chip cookies and freshly squeezed lemonade.

and watch her paint. And I still have one of her paintings here in my office today. And she would just pour into me, you know, until, you know, she was like in her seventies, I was seven. And then another Nancy, when I was going into pageants, we would sew, we made all of our clothes. I made all of my clothes for Miss America. So we would sew. And so, I mean, I, that was such a blessing and a gift to my life.

That I thought, oh, that's what I need to do. I need to give that back to the young generation. I just spoke today at a high school. They have a Glamour and Girls Club. It's so cute.

Glamour and Grace. The club is called Glamour and Grace. And so it was like 26 girls. And we just all, I gave them all makeup and we just talked about, I made them all stand up and say one beautiful thing on the inside about themselves and one beautiful thing on the outside about themselves. And they all could say the inside thing, but very few of them could say the outside. And I thought, see, that's why they need us, Jenny. That's the work. Yeah. That's it. Don't you have daughters? I do. I have three daughters. Oh my God.

I have sons. I know you have two sons. How old are your kids? 27, 21 and 18. Okay. Do you believe in arranged marriages? I have an 18 year old. We can talk. I mean, he's a good guy. He has a good mama. So I know he's got to be. Well, you know, look, I never sit on a clean toilet seat. So.

You know, I just, I mean, somebody will feed them and just like, I can't even imagine what it's like to live with three guys. Girl. It's people say that girls are harder. I don't, I don't,

I beg to differ. I don't mean I've never lived with teenage girls, but like, are you besties with your girls? Yeah, I think girls, it's more of an emotional roller coaster and like it feels like emotional warfare. But with boys, you just they just go and destroy things and pee on toilet seats.

Well, they're just so, you know, they're just so test. They're just everything is so good. You know, they never they don't speak a real language. Like my son came into yesterday and he said, hey, G. I said, who's G? Yeah, I used to be mom, mommy, mom, mama.

And now I'm G. Yeah. G. Okay. I'm going to try that in my house and see if anybody. He said, hey, G. He said, what's for dinner? And I said, whatever you get in there and fix for yourself. And he said, no cap. And I'm like, I'm looking up online to define what that means. Oh, my God.

Hi, this is Jenny Garth from the I Choose Me podcast. If you're managing a challenging mental condition, weekly therapy can sometimes feel like it's not enough. You may be looking for a way to spend more focus time on you. That's where Amend Mental Health Treatment Center comes in. I recently took a tour at Amend in beautiful Malibu, California, and the facility is so gorgeous and serene.

The dedicated team of doctors and therapists with deep clinical expertise were amazing. Designed to give you the time and space you need to have that breakthrough. They have two unique locations in Malibu that surround you in natural beauty and pure calm. Find out more at amendtreatment.com slash start.

Okay, so I feel like I know the answer to this, but where did your confidence come from? Because it feels like it just comes from inside, deep, deep inside of you. Were you always confident when you were young or were you a vivacious child? Yeah, I was really driven, but I think I know my confidence comes from my faith. But I know a lot of people of faith that don't have a lot of confidence. It also comes from

I get this question a lot because I'm not, I'm confident, but not in me. Like I'm confident that all things work together for the good. And I'm confident that everyone possesses purpose. And I'm confident and know that I know that if we're here, it's got to be for a reason. I mean, I don't believe in coincidence. I don't believe in happenstance. I believe in divine appointments and I believe in purpose and

And I've talked to people from the scientific world about this all the way to, you know, the highest, biggest, like, you know, Mother Teresa nuns, Catholic priests, people who've been walking in faith their whole lives. Confidence is it's not something you possess is who you are. And so the more you get to know who you are.

Then the more you start loving yourself and you also start really, really loving other people because competition and creativity cannot coexist. Competition and, you know, success really cannot coexist.

coexist. They fight each other. Did you, were there times in your life where you did feel that competitive energy, especially with pageants and all of that? Yeah. When I was really immature, you know, when I was really young. Right. And I remember praying a prayer and I said, God, I want to see other people like you see them. I should have never prayed it because Lord have mercy because I do. Yeah.

My best friend's like, you see the potential in everybody. I said, well, because a lot of potential was seen in me. You know, I mean, you give back what you've been given. And so it's an overflow. You know, my cup, I say all this time, I said to the girls, I said, your cup runneth over.

But baby, there's two or three pitchers full as the endless hose. That's just filling it up. But you just think, oh, my God, I just have a pitcher. I'm like, no, you got a big old water hose. Always, you know, it's endless. You got free refills, free refill. Oh, my God. If you weren't famous, I'd steal it. I'll come for you. People will know I took it from you. So I can't do it. Wait. OK, so did you ever fake?

Your confidence. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. I think it's sometimes now. Still. Yeah. We have to sometimes. You do. You do. And I say, fake it till you make it. So, you know, instead of fake it to you. But I do. I get, I mean, like, I get down. I mean, just last week, I mean, there was something that happened in the business and it tore me. It turned me inside out. And I just feel like, because I'm like, Lord, why is it always a struggle? Why is everything a struggle? And I'm reminded that

When you got struggle, you're building strength, you know, and so I just, but yeah, I was, I'm like, I can't do this. I don't think I can do this. And then, you know, you do it anyway. You just, I'm glad to hear that you have those same feelings too. When I look at you, I don't, I don't think that. And, but then I remember, oh wait, she's a human.

She's got to have. No, I'm a flawed hoe up from the flow of human. Like I am psycho. Like I'm sick. No, I'm serious. I'll tell you the cold, honest truth. I mean, I'm not going to, I am my, I am ADHD or whatever, maybe ADD or BIT. I don't know, whatever, whichever you want to call it. I'm crazy. And I have too many high expectations, not only myself, but other people. I mean, like I messed up, but I,

I know it. And I don't try to be not messed up. And that's freeing, right? Yeah. Or is it delusion? I don't know. I think it's freeing for you. Okay. But I don't know how other people in your life feel about it, but I like it. I like you're crazy. I'm crazy. But my parents are so too grounded, you know, like,

But I think that generation was different, too. Like, I really I have a heart for this generation, like our children's generation, because they don't know how to connect. OK, they don't even know how to have a relationship. They don't even know how to invest in a relationship or people.

And I mean, and I blame myself part of, you know, I'm like, well, you should have taught them, you know, but it's just the culture we live in is very insular and really confidence comes from community and confidence comes from depositing these commodities of who you are into your world. Right. Like sharing your light. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I mean, I'm so glad you're at the queue because of that. Your perspective is so fresh and different and, and,

And it inspires me. And, you know, not to mention our girlfriend is sitting at home watching it. So it's like, you know, we all have something to add to this tapestry, this big old art piece, you know, and it's unique and different. And I know that sounds total cheeseball, but it's true.

It's okay. Okay. Thank you. I need to know how you got from being in pageants, then doing the reality show. How did you become, how did you get to becoming one of, if not the most successful brand on QVC? What were the steps? How'd it go? Okay. Okay. So this is, this is truly how it happened. So I, I never had a plan. Okay. So I just, I just say, okay, I,

When I realized when I worked at a church as a worship leader for two, almost a year, I'm like, I can't do this for many reasons. We won't go into it. That's a whole nother podcast. But church work was not my vocation. I knew, I mean, I love to go church, pray to God, whatever, but I cannot work in a church.

And your listeners probably know exactly why and what I'm talking about. So I said, OK, what what can I do? You know, because I traveled around. I had these two older women, which were older than I thought we were old. We were like in our I was I was 30 something. I said one of the 40. I said, we're going to do reality show.

So I'm just going to do it. I said, that's how we can get on a bigger platform. I see everybody's doing it. If the Real Housewives can do it, we can do it too. What can we do? So we all put that together and my family and I, we decided to do that. So when we got that show bought, I didn't know what was going to happen. You know, and it just didn't get bought, by the way. It was rejection, rejection, rejection. Let's go into that. I mean, there's a lot of rejection and rejection is really hard.

I learned way more from failing than I ever did from success. And failing is easier than being successful.

It don't hurt as bad. No, it's not as complicated. It's not as much pressure. You've got nothing to lose. So when that was fun for me, I was like, let's try it. We got nothing to lose. There's no pressure. Now there's a lot of pressure on me to carry a lot of weight. I miss the days of let's go do this. So I did the reality TV show and then I did it for two seasons and I hated, I loved the work.

I hated being controlled. I don't like that. I network or the, or the. Yeah. It's just the environment. Just like, say this, say this, say this, say this. But I'm so glad I did it because my mind, they would want me to be mean and ugly, like the dance mom's woman who was really not that mean and ugly, by the way, she was just hard. She was just telling it like it is. And I couldn't, that that's not how I teach. And I mentor people.

So I had to, in my mind, creatively, because I wasn't executive producer. And you know this, if you're not in control, you're a work for hire. So I had to creatively come up with ways to make the scene work or make the situation work. And that really, you know, exercised my production and producer chops. And so after that was that chapter was closed. I'm like, I'm going to QVC.

Right then and there. Yeah, I said, I'm going QVC. Did you have a product that you thought, I'm going to take this to QVC? And what was your plan? My plan was, let's get there. How are we going to get there? Just knock on the door. And I had like, I will never forget this. This is a funny story. I'll never forget this. Well, I had my friend download. They used to have a big...

A big how to get on QVC.com Bible. Oh, I've seen that. I've seen that. It's this big. I remember it so vividly because we didn't have a pot to pee in. I was married. My husband and I were married. I had two little children. I was a stay-at-home mom, which about did me in. All of you people out there are going...

See, at home, it's the hardest job ever. I was miserable. And I know people are going to judge me for saying that. It really was hard. It was a sacrifice for me personally to do that. I love my babies and I was there. It was hard for me because I'm a person who's who wants to do and grow and whatever. But glad I did it. So I printed off this big Bible and I started reading through it and I didn't read totally. And I said, Amy, we've got to have a kick booty product.

Now, listen to this. I said, we have a kid. My mom, I was sitting at my mom's. She was what you need to make. You mean to make a gene like this that doesn't stretch out. And she threw it to me across the table. I'm like, mom, I can't make it. Let me go make a gene. I don't have to make a gene. I could like a blue gene. And she said, you could do it. But this one stretches out. It looks like pajamas. You need to go make a gene that looks like a woven gene, but it stretches like an it. And I was like, OK. And so I started looking for manufacturers.

And then I wanted to do beauty because that's my background. So long story short, this is why I know if you take the steps that are in front of you, somebody's listening that has a dream or wants to do something or wants to do something, has no idea how to go about it. Right. There is no formula. You just have to start walking.

OK, and so I took every bit of my reality TV show money, which wasn't much, and I put it in two products. I put it in a cream for beauty and I put it in a pair of jeans. And then I was doing the Steve Harvey show and Jane Tracy. You know, Jane, she loves you. Yes, yes.

You always want to do shows with Jane. She said, oh my gosh, this crazy girl, Kim from Kim Queens needs to come on and be on QVC. And so all of my followers started going, oh my God, Jane just gave you a shout out. And I knew, I was like, okay, this, this is my place. So,

All the pieces just aligned. I had this manufacturer was the other manufacturer for another brand at QVC. I said, I've got this jean. She said, let me do a sample. Long story short, we go in and do our pitch meeting in QVC, the buyers, and you know who they are. Said we're not we we don't allow people to do beauty and apparel. I mean, even Jane Tracy said, do not do that. This is going to tank you. They're never going to. They're not going. And I said, no, I'm doing it.

I said, so if I can't show beauty and apparel, I'm not doing it. That was stupid. But again, not knowing what you don't know sometimes serves you. That's what I'm saying. All of you listening and Jenny, you know what I'm saying? Do it afraid. Take a step. Don't worry about how it's going to be in the long run. Just take that first step. And I went in there and we left that day with three hours. They bought everything, including beauty.

Wow. And did you roll out beauty at the same time you rolled out that jean? No, because I was scared to death. I was like, oh my God, we got all these orders. I'm like, I can't feel this. I got the money to do it. I mean, like at that point, I'm like, how are we going to feel? I mean, I knew nothing. Because did you have a business background? No. No, right? No.

But I love business. I have a business of knowing what what connects, but to how to make some, you know what I'm talking about? That's another beast. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's teams of people that do that stuff. I mean, it was me, Amy, my husband and in two others.

And I will never forget it. I will never forget. I come on like, OK, what are we going to do now? How are we going to make it happen again? We just started taking the step. Did we fail? Yes. Did we make mistakes? Yes. We got sued. We got sued before we ever hit the airways at QVC. What? Trademark infringement wasn't. It was a total frivolous lawsuit. Somebody wanted the name. So they said, I didn't know that you did that. And there's also my once name. Just just lock you up in court. You'll give it to somebody.

So I had to fight Flexibel. Flexibel. That was the gene. Yep. That was the gene that started it all. So I knew at that point, I remember I was in a puddle on the floor. I was heaving crying because they had threatened to let QVC know. It was just, of course, I didn't know what I know. And I know I'm not proven. And so I just sat there and my husband, I was on the floor, I was crying. And he said, he said, is it worth it?

to keep this name and to do this. And I said, it is. I said, I think this name and this gene is going to set me apart on QVC. And I think this is it. And he said, well, then let's fight it. And so we took out a loan to fight the lawsuit. Never got the money back. Of course, we won. It was a year and a half. Never got the money back, Jenny.

But I learned how to I learned how to trademark. I learned how to I had to do IP. I learned that was my that was my Harvard Business School was that lawsuit. So what I'm saying is what looks like can be what looks like is something that's going trying to stop you. It's trying to strengthen you to where you're going next.

I think this is all such great advice because I know that there are people listening. I know women everywhere. Everybody is tapping into that entrepreneurial quality. And it's so awesome to see everybody just igniting. And I think it's because of women like you who are

freely and lovingly offering advice and sharing your journey because they're learning from you, from your mistakes, from your triumphs. And that's how we all do it. And I think that that's one of the things that I love the most about you. Thank you. It's hard. I mean, you're doing this now. I mean, when you have something that's got your name on it, you know this, you've known this longer than I have. I take that really to heart. Like,

Mm-hmm. The people who watch and buy our things, they spend a lot of money. Yeah. I mean, they call it for easy money, but they spend a lot of money, Jen. And it's like a responsibility of that pressure on your shoulders that you feel you need to deliver the best thing that you possibly can to them. Over and over again.

You just got started, girl. I know. Wait, how long have you been doing it? Eight years. Eight years. Eight years. And I just want to hit this point home with people because every, because we're just in another obstacle now. I don't know if you've heard about the strike that's going on. Oh, the, yes. Yes.

Okay. So that's going to affect all of us. Yeah. Well, it just happened. Just happened. But I remember, so I was traveling up to QVC kind of like, because you go up what once a month, twice a month, they probably want you seven times a month. Yeah. I'm pretty much definitely there once a month. Okay. Yeah. So I was going up twice a month with two, two, you know, middle school, high school children. And so, and we built the business pretty significantly. And I, I,

I was having a panic attack. Like I was like, I can't, I cannot do this and grow. I can't do this and be a good mom. Did you feel like it was unsustainable? Yes. Like I can't actually physically, mentally, emotionally do this. I couldn't. I knew I couldn't. I knew I was like, how am I going to grow this?

And how am I? I can't because I'd have to move up there. Everything's here in Georgia. Parents, aging parents. I've got to be there for them. You know, you don't have your people forever. I know that's a sad realist. Again, we're realists. So you've got to milk it while you can. And so and then COVID hit. And remember, everybody flipped out. So I remember sitting at my desk and I said, we're going to build a studio. Listen to this.

I said, and we're going to level up. I said, this COVID thing is going to be, it's terrible, but we're going to find that silver lining and we're going to do it. So we bought an old house, fixed it up, made it a studio and my business quadrupled. So I'm telling you this, what looks like an obstacle is really an opportunity. And now, now my kids are older and now I travel up there more and it's good because I can, but I'm just telling you,

Your giftings, your brand, your business, your dream will make way for you. You just cannot get paralyzed or quit when things get tough.

You have to look for what, how it can serve you. And again, I feel like this sounds so cheesy, Jenny. I really, people like Kim, it's really truth. No, this, if anybody who's listening, believe this woman, because this is so recent that you've done this and started with nothing, nothing. And you've built this incredible business. And now you've branched out into a whole world of beauty and home.

Oh my God. You need to do, you do home already, but you know, you might want to think about, well, you do beauty too with Perricon. So I'm just saying like, you're doing the same thing. You're doing the same thing. I mean, and it's, and people are like, well, you just, there is no work-life balance. That is, that is the lie too.

That's a lie. When I hired a lot of Gen Zers in, because I don't know how to do technology. Their new catchphrase is work-life balance. There is none. Yeah, they have a different criteria for their hours, right? That's the thing. I do too. I say play hard when you got the time and work hard. And that is what I'm talking about. Like be flexible, be nimble. Don't control.

Create, you know, and get with people who have the same morals and values and integrity in their work.

You know, and I also tell people also surround yourself with people who work for themselves, not for you, who work for me. Like my manufacturer works for herself. She does what she does because she did for her, you know, and her family. And, you know, I just there's some there's some there's some non-negotiables, but there is no work life balance. And I don't want there to be. I want to milk it as long as I can, because I know it's right. It's it's it.

Hi, this is Jenny Garth from the I Choose Me podcast. If you're managing a challenging mental condition, weekly therapy can sometimes feel like it's not enough. You may be looking for a way to spend more focus time on you. That's where Amend Mental Health Treatment Center comes in. I recently took a tour at Amend in beautiful Malibu, California, and the facility is so gorgeous and serene.

The dedicated team of doctors and therapists with deep clinical expertise were amazing. Designed to give you the time and space you need to have that breakthrough. They have two unique locations in Malibu that surround you in natural beauty and pure calm. Find out more at amendtreatment.com slash start. Do you consider yourself successful at this point? Yeah. Yeah. Good. It's not...

It's all subjective, you know, whatever success is to whoever's listening. But the success to me is I will feel really successful when I get both of my kids graduated high school and college, making a C or above. And then when they get out and can pay their own bills, that to me is ultimate success. So I'm getting there on that track. But in business, I do because I'm not afraid of anything in business anymore. Right.

Like, I think the sky's the limit. Like, cause I'm talking to somebody here. If you can sell a hundred dollars worth of your product or services, you can sell a thousand. If you can sell a thousand, you can sell 10,000. If you can sell 10,000, you can sell a million. If you can sell a million, you can sell a billion. There is no cap. All it is is how much work and how much heart you want to put into it. Because people, I say this all the time, people buy things.

You, they, Jenny, your product is gorgeous. It is quality. It is fantastic. Thank you. Minus two. Of course, that's the Q. It stands for quality QVC. But people buy you.

And that is if you have a car dealership or if you have a social media platform influencer or if you have this young guy mentoring business, he has a detailing car service business.

And I'm like, they're buying you, dude. They're not buying how clean you can clean your car because they can get that from a lot of different people. So the more unique you are and the more you are in who you are and what you've been created to be, the more successful you'll be. So in that respect, yeah, I'm successful. Yeah. I feel like I feel the same when you're authentic, when you are honest and

People will listen. They'll want to listen. What do you think authenticity is? I'm curious because you've been in a world and I know you're supposed to be interviewing me. You will come on my behalf as I'm interviewed. But what do you think? What does that mean to you? Because everybody's like, that's the buzzword, right? Authentic. Yeah. What does that mean? To me, it means authenticity.

remembering where I come from, remembering the people that I looked to for guidance and advice all my life and to not get caught up in yes people, to not get caught up in always winning. It's just about keeping your feet on the ground for me, keeping a level head that for me, when I am truly my authentic self, I feel good. And the minute I slip out of that,

and I try to be something that I know in my heart I'm not, or I try to act a certain way and it doesn't represent who I am, that is when I have a breakdown. I literally just can't figure things out anymore. I get so lost. So for me, being authentic just means being who I was born to be.

Come on. I love when you said try. I think that's a dirty word. What do you mean? I just think try, because you said when I try to do something that I'm not. I think that that's, I don't know, didn't Yoda say something about that? There's no try or do. I can't remember the quote. I love it. Can't remember it. Oh boy, mom, I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, Google it, people. It's something that Yoda said and I agree with it. Something about there's no, we shouldn't try. Right.

Like, okay, let me ask you this. Let me ask you this because you're on QVC, I'm on QVC. It's live TV, which is different. Is that different for you? Oh, yes. It's so different. Okay.

Like what you did to learn a script and have to stand where you need to stand. Cause I was on a guest spot of drop dead diva. I was like, I can't do this. And they're saying, say it with this accent. I'm like, I've only got one accent. This is what the accent I've got. He wanted me to speak in a Jersey accent. I was like, dude, really? Now you should, you think I'm that kind of person. He wanted you to have a Jersey accent. Well, I can't, I can't act. That's hard. Yeah.

This is like what you do is so like acting is so that's such an art is such a craft. But have you ever felt like this on TV and you're live on TV and you're talking, you're saying something and you're not like watching yourself, but you're you're observing yourself a little bit like from above.

Well, just like are inside your head. I know I'm saying I'm crazy. Okay. No, I'm with you. I'm talking going, why are you saying that? That is not you. That is not you. Have you ever done that? Oh yeah. Okay. Okay. So I'm not the only one. Okay. No, it's a, it's an, it, like you said, acting is an art. Being on QVC is an art. It's hard. It's hard.

What's hard about it for you? I love to hear this. Well, here's the thing. I am not a talker. I'm an introvert. Like I am a deep introvert. Yep. And you,

You read, don't you? I know how to turn it on. I wish I could have more time to read. I know how to like, I know when it's go time. I know when somebody says action, it's time to, it doesn't matter what you think you are or what you're scared of. You just go forward. You leap in. So that's what, I'm accustomed to that. So I thought that's all I needed. But really you need to have all the words, right?

You need to have like a toolkit full of words that people understand and relate, especially our beautiful customers, because they're waiting to hear that one thing that they want to hear about that product, you know, to make them love it. And so for me, it's a learning curve. Like I'm certainly learning as I'm going and I watch you and I watch other people and I learn from you. And it is, it's scary. It's really scary, but it's just the talking for me.

Well, I mean, but I get that because words are so powerful. People, I mean, you would not know that today, the way people fling around words. And I am so guilty. So there's no judgment there because I don't realize the things that I say. And I don't filter myself either, but I'm mindful. Because words are things. It's what I was going to say. Like you're saying you just need the words. And to me, it's like, I totally get what you're saying because it's because they matter.

Because think about it. People are paying their money for what you're saying, that they're going to get home, that they cannot touch, feel or see. And I don't want to say something that's not true. Yeah. Yeah. Like I can't do that. No, you can't. You're very, very earnest. You're very trustworthy. Like when I watch you, I'm like, oh, God, believe her. Yeah.

People think that like people think an audience is not that bright. They're brilliant. Oh, yeah. They can smell it a mile away. You you I love that about you. Just tell it how it is. You've always been that way. And you you speak off the cuff. Have you ever been like, oh, I just I said something I shouldn't have said. Yes. Yes. And I and I apologize and say I shouldn't have said it.

Right then and there. Yeah, I just own it. I think I tell my kids that all the time. Like, why are you lying? Why lie? You know, I'm sitting here telling you, here it is. And you're saying, I didn't, I did not do it. I'm looking at lie 360. And yes, you did. And I'm like, but why are you lying? Why lie? Don't lie. Just tell it like it is. Just tell me the truth. And, you know, I didn't always do that, though. I faked it. I did. And sometimes I do. Jenny, honestly, sometimes I'm like, what am I doing? Why am I doing this?

But I mean, I try to course correct. But, you know, women, we beat each other up. We beat ourselves up worse. Oh, it's the perfection gene is real in the DNA of a woman. And, you know, I'm going to blame society a little bit for that. But, you know, we're easy to beat up on. What do you mean?

Things that are said to women and expectations that are put on women, I'll give you an example. Like, you know, if my son, you know, picks up his clothes or cleans the toilet once or actually, you know, cleans out the toothpaste out of the sink, I'm like, oh my God.

You know, because the expectation is low. But on a woman, I don't know how you feel about your daughters. We put more expectation on women in a lot of things. Yes, we do. And it's not, it's not, what did you say? It's not sustainable. I think it's what we do though, as just naturally, because we take on so much more. We take it on. Just because like for some,

I don't know if we think that it's not going to be done if we don't or that that's our role. It won't be. That's true. If it's done, it won't be done right. Correct. And the thing is, is that we love that. And it's a drain on us, too. And that's why I think QVC is such a great fit for all of us women, especially at our ages, because...

When I reached, because I didn't start my business till 46. So, I mean, my 50s are amazing. They're like the best things, the best years ever because-

I'm free. I'm more confident. My relationships are secure. I think that's a big important, your tribe, people you surround yourself with, your community is important. That's why I think all of us being friends at QVC helps each other. Iron sharpens iron. Yes, definitely. It does. I've never felt the support.

of being in the industry that I've grown up in and being so based on competition and being selected or what's the word when you're not picked? I've got brain fog sometimes. Sorry. Rejected. Yes. Thank you. It's so based on that as a young girl all through my 20s and 30s. And so now being at a place like QVC where

We're a group of women who support one another. And I want the best for you. And I want you to have so much success. And I don't think that takes away from my success. Not a bit. You know, like it's such a different feeling than I've ever had before. And I love it so much. Well, all tides rise. And honestly, that's a universal truth. It's really a truth at QVC. Like, I don't know if you've experienced it, but when the TSV does well on that day, the Today Special Value, everybody does well.

So it's like, that's the beauty of that environment. But I think that rings true for everything. I really do. I think that...

it's almost like a team. Like my kids play sports and they play soccer, tennis and basketball. It was basketball. I would get frustrated because they had a coach that just, he would pick little stars out and he would highlight them. And I'm like, and they lost every honking game. And I'm like, you can't win with one or two like superstars.

There's no I in team. There's no I in team, Jenny. There's no I in team. And then the next year, the team was horrible because we lost the two seniors. They were terrible. They won everything because they needed each other. And that is horrible.

And look, you can't work with everybody. Some people just flack hold me. They just mean hearted, mean spirited. I had never experienced that QVC, but I know that's out there in the world. But get people around you who who support you and that you can support them. Don't, you know, be a taker and be a giver.

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I know you lost like 50 pounds not that long ago. And I put on 10 more so bright for me. Oh, it's a roller coaster. Come on. I love to eat. I know.

Eating is fun. Eating is fun. No, you look amazing whether you've put on all your weight back on or have taken it all off. It does not matter. But I feel better. You talked about good. I'm sure you're healthier. You talked about in your podcast, I heard your experience with weight loss. Like what was it behind that moment, that I choose me moment when you decided that I need to get healthy, I need to lose some weight and change my lifestyle?

Well, I was the type of person that I did the blame game. I don't know if you've ever done that where almost self-sabotage a little bit. And I loved to have something to blame if something didn't work out. So I, you know, well, they didn't, I didn't get this because of my weight. I didn't do that. And I just, I love to have something to blame. I think it was fear.

And I know it was fear because I think everything bad in our life starts with fear. But I remember waking up one day and looking in the mirror and I thought, that's it. I'm doing it. I'm changing my whole entire lifestyle. You just flipped a switch. I flipped a switch. I decided everything's in a choice and a decision. I think I listened to a podcast or I heard somebody say that. And I thought, you know what? That's true. Everything is just a decision away.

Yeah. And people say, what did you do? I mean, look, you can do keto. You can do, you know, low fat. You can do the injections. There's a lot of people losing a lot of weight over injections. And that's fantastic, too. There's a lot of people that, you know, that have weight loss surgery. There's I mean, there's.

There's many thousands of different ways. We know how to make that change. We just have to decide to make it. And so... Commit to it. Yep. Just commit. I just decided. I'm like, bump this. I'm doing it. Wait, when you lose weight like that, people just assume nowadays that you're taking Ozambic or you're doing something other than just... I wish. ...changing your lifestyle. I'm thinking about going on it now. Yeah.

I'm like, I don't hate that, by the way. Once you lose the weight, you know, it's like you're like, please, I don't want to gain it back. They weren't the hot thing then. Now they're the hot thing. I didn't even know about that. It was in April. It took me nine months to lose it. And I just remember that April. I was like, bump it. I'm doing it. And the first three days I did nothing to change my diet except write everything down. And Jenny, this is the truth. I was eating about 4000 calories a day.

You learned that just from keeping a food journal. Right. So I decided, I was like, I'm going to write down everything I eat and I'm going to look up the nutritional value and the caloric intake.

Because I'm an energetic person. So I'm a go, go, go person. I'm not a lay on the couch, do nothing person. I don't exercise like I should, but I move. Okay. I can tell. So I said, when I got finished, I mean, the drive-thrus, which I love a good drive-thru, and it was about 4,000 calories a day. And I thought, that's not normal. That's not normal. I'm surprised I'm not bigger than I am. What's your favorite drive-thru?

Oh, God. For chicken, it's Chick-fil-A. For burgers, I'm on a Wendy's kick. I mean, I'm really digging. But look, there's not one that I hate. But you've made a choice to make those trips less frequent. Well, recently, I've made them a little bit more frequent. But I love the fact that I'm like, no, bump it. I'm not doing that. I'm going to back off. I'm going to back off. And so...

I think that's with everything. And like, you know, like, like someone's asking me about their marriage and she's like, I don't want to be married to him anymore. I'm like, you know, join the club. Most people don't. Okay. This is marriage. I love it when you talk about relationships and marriage. It's hard. It's so hard.

And you're just so honest about it. Like, I love it so much. I told Travis today, I said, listen, if I can't be with the one I love, I'm just gonna love the one I'm with. So you need to shut up. You know, I mean, we, I mean, we are getting fired. He's so cheap. He's so cheap. He's so stubborn. He's so the opposite of me, which I love and hate. Yeah. Yeah. But I was going to say, I'm like, I hate the light of my life. I'm like, really? He's really the light of your life. But this is what I'm saying. Like, this is what we got. This is where we're at.

And so I just, I can't remember where I was going. We're talking about drive-thrus and then I started talking about marriage. Sorry. I can't remember. But anyway, I love a good drive-thru and I do love my husband. I have to say, I do love my children's husband, even though it does not seem like it when I'm on air because they've ticked me off right before I go on. But I'm just saying I do. I've been on air and they're like, what's for dinner? I'm like, I am at QVC. I'm not even in town. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I understand completely. Yeah.

As women, we're always turned to for the answer. And it's always what's for dinner. Do you cook well? I do cook, but I don't have a lot of time or energy. I don't either. Like, we need to cook. We're busy. I'm busy. Girl, you're about to get busier. I know. And I look to you for my survival techniques. About what I can help you with is we can go out to eat and I can get you a good meal in PA. That's what we need to do is go break bread because...

It's okay. Let me ask you this. When you get off the show, do you feel like, are you euphoric? Like, do you feel like, does it, does it fill that creative part of who you are as an artist?

I actually just, I do love connecting with whoever's watching. I love that feeling. You know, like for me as an actress, I don't like any parts of the business. I don't enjoy waiting, wasting my life on a set, waiting for the camera to be ready and the lights and the make everything. Like I just sit there and I think I'm wasting my life. And what am I doing? When I do my honors at QVC, I feel like I've just connected with people. I've just,

made them happy made them feel seen and there's something about it just like when I act it's the moments when I'm it's just me in the camera you know and like I'm in the scene and then once they call cut I'm out you know but it's that it's that relationship I feel with through the camera to the people that are watching but you're not quitting acting right

No, I don't think I could ever quit acting. I think you need to do a lot of Hallmark movies too with all your clothes in it. It's a good business thing. I'll be your country best friend. Okay. Wait, if you were an animal, what would you be? Have you ever thought about that? I think I would be... Oh my God, I just thought of my... I said my husband would be a warthog. Why did that just come to my mind? Those warthogs are stubborn as mules. If I was an animal, I probably would be...

I would want to be a cheetah, but I ain't that fierce. You are a cheetah. No, I'm not a cheetah. No, I want to be a cheetah. Are you a jaguar? No, I'm probably more like a grasshopper. You don't think so? No, you're definitely a cat. You think I'm a cat? Oh, yes. I'm one of them hairless cats. I love those.

Okay, okay. I just have a couple more questions for you. What are you? What are you? You have to tell me what you are. Oh, God. I didn't even think what I would be. I feel like I would be a horse. You're the perfect stallion horse. Yes. There's something so strong and quiet about them. And effortless. They just run. Yeah, you're very smooth. I'm very horse-like. Thank you. You're very horsey. You're very horse-like.

Oh my God, I've not heard that before. Looking back on your life, I want to know what is the biggest adversity that you have faced so far and how did you overcome it? Just give me a quick. People thinking at first glance that I'm not smart. I always know if someone's intelligent within 10 minutes of talking to them, if they think I'm intelligent. I always know I'm smart because you think I'm smart because I have always been looked at as a caricature.

From the South and loud and I say ain't and, you know, I don't have a higher education in that way and their business degree. So I've always had to prove that. So that's probably a big obstacle. I mean, when I enter a room or a meeting or something, I'm always having to go, OK, let's educate. We're educating everybody here.

Because people, they don't talk down to you. They just assume a lot. So that's the biggest challenge for me. I know. And when you ask a question in a group in one of those big board meetings that we have to go to, I feel like people think I don't know anything. But I feel like if I didn't ask the question, that would be unintelligent. Yeah. And a lot of times...

asking questions is a sign of intelligence the curiosity but a lot of times i'll ask questions to see what they know i might already know the answer but do you oh she's smart yeah like you really people can front and fake and sell you again back to the qvc model what is authentic

like i remember even some of the bad like reality like just crazy broke down ratchet reality tv shows that we love it's because they're really who they are it might be a bad you know version of that you know it's a train wreck but you just love watching it yeah yeah we accept what's real and authentic bad good or whatever yeah you have so many different feathers in your cap what

which I greatly admire and can relate to your podcast host, your life coach, your TV personality, a host, CEO, all the things, your mother, your wife, what is still on your list to achieve? Like, what do you want next? I think next is in the near future. I want to do more live events. I want to do events where we all get together and,

And we put our minds together and we speak and we laugh and we eat and we do a, you know, conga line. I mean, I want to do things where I'm touching, feeling people. I love QVC and I love the camera. But I like we've been doing these age of possibility events and I am digging it. Like I love meeting the people. Yeah. Yeah.

And so that's something I want to do. I want to create and host and be a part of big events where we can all come together and empower each other. Because I believe women are the power of influence. I do believe that. And

I think that's why we're so attacked. And that's why I think we're always pitted against each other is because everybody knows it's school, it's church, in your community, in your family, when all the women get together and decide this is what they're going to do, it happens. So I think all the powers that be that are trying to stop

that. But you can't when you get a bunch of women together that unite. So a lot of that's for me in the near future. I see it. I definitely see it. You're such a great speaker. You're such a great leader. I definitely see that. Definitely. Okay. Before I let you go. Okay. Kim Gravel, what was your last I choose me moment? Oh, that's so good. I love that. Oh, hello. I went and got myself marshmallows.

a Hershey milk chocolate bar and honey graham crackers. Okay. I made three or four s'mores. I went upstairs. I turned the air really low because it's still really hot here in Georgia. I got a really crispy cold and I put on terrible. This is awful. I put on Bridgerton and watched it from season one all the way through the last season. How did you find time to do this?

I just, I did. I just, it was like raining. It was one day and I just closed the door. I locked it. I did it all day and all. I just laid there. With your s'mores. I mean, I ate the mess out of those things and I sat there and watched Bridgerton. I love that. I love the scenery. I love the music. I love everything. I've watched like 17 times. Don't you do that though? Do you find something you love and just rewatch it? Like when you get in the mood?

Oh, Devil Wears Prada. I have to, I've watched it every time it's on TV. It's so good for me. It's great because I can't remember things like that happened 10 minutes ago. So I could have seen a movie eight times and don't remember what's going to happen. How do you remember all the scripts then? I don't know. Well, I love your, I choose me moment. It's perfect. It's real. It's just, it's nothing better than that. No. Well, I love you. You are. Oh, I just want to squish you. Well, we've got to get together, Jenny. I mean it now.

I mean it too. I mean it.

When is your next show? October 20-something. And you're still doing Home, too, right? Yes. And that's in November. We have a drop-in together. Are you and Tori doing it together? Yes, in November. Are y'all really best friends? Yep. We have a long history together. Isn't it great? I have a very best friend. I love it so much. Amy? Yeah. I might have to ditch her, though, if you're available. Don't tell her. Don't tell her. I don't want her coming after me.

I love you, Kim. Thank you for coming. Love you too. All right. Bye. Oh my God. Kim is such a funny and inspiring woman. I love what a powerhouse she is. That's really so incredible to hear about her journey in the business world and her personality is infectious. That was so fun. As we continue to choose ourselves this week, I want you to think of something you've been holding off on starting. Is it a new workout routine? Is

Is it starting your own small business? Is it writing your own book or starting your own podcast? Whatever it might be, I want you to take Kim's words and just do it. You don't need a plan or a roadmap. Just start.

You'll figure it out along the way. I promise you. I want to inspire you with this conversation I had with Kim to choose you this week and stop putting off what could end up making you immensely happy and maybe rich someday. Who knows?

Thanks for listening to I Choose Me. You can check out all of our social links in our show notes, rate us, review us, and use that hashtag, I Choose Me, so we can see you. I'll be right here next week. I hope you choose to be here too.