‘The Naked Gun’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
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The Rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. You can find all of the YouTube videos from the podcast that we've done, not just this year, but a bunch of them from the past on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel. Our pal Kyle Brand is here. Kyle, it's a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two podcast hosts don't amount to a hill of beans, but this is our hill.

And these are our beans, Bill. The naked gun is next. Let's go. This is the police squad.

Leslie Nielsen. O.J. Simpson. This is not the police squad. Priscilla Presley. Ricardo Montalban. Mikhail Gorbachev. I'm Ewan. And Reggie Jackson in his first dramatic role. The Naked Gun from the Files of Police Squad. Everyone should have a friend like you. Rated PG-13. Starts Friday, December 2nd at theaters everywhere.

All right, Kyle Brandt, I asked you for a bunch of suggestions for movies we could do because normally, you know, I think we're known as a combo for hitting the action movies, hitting the 80s, hitting the 90s, to the point that when I watch bad action movies from the 80s or 90s or mediocre action movies or loveably bad action movies, I think of you and whether we could do a pod about it together. You suggested The Naked Gun. Yeah. And I was like, it's a little bit of a zag for us.

And yet a movie that I love very, very much. And you might even love it more than me. So why'd you suggest this?

It's a huge zag for us, Bill. This is going to test us today. There's a lot of people excited for this, but it's not for you and it's not for me. Weird Al Yankovic is on the pod today, guys. It's going to be great. I chose this, Bill, because let me tell you a story. A couple of years ago, I was golfing with three friends. We got paired up with this random guy. Didn't know him. He was kind of weird, kind of annoying. I don't know if he was all there. Kept talking to us about weird stuff and books and movies. At one point in the 16th hole, he goes, I want to test you guys right now.

The Great Gatsby, the great American novel. How many pages does it have in it? And I go, I don't know, dude, 300. My buddy says, 350, 250. Guy goes, you're all wrong. Great Gatsby has 180 pages of perfection.

And my take is that the naked gun is 80 minutes of perfection. It is tight. And to go with the baseball theme, I think this movie flirts with the perfect movie. I don't have a lot of problems with it. And that's why I said it's going to test rewatchables, Bill. How are we going to do naked gun for like weak link and Butch's girlfriend? How are we going to pick nits with the naked gun? It's a movie of nits. I'm sure you got them. I got them too. But it's like we're here to just fuck around and be funny. And we do it for 80 minutes.

I got to say, when I was trying to do the most rewatchable scene, I was just writing down every scene. Every scene. And I was like, wait, I just can't. It can't just be every scene in the movie. So I tried to narrow it down to like seven. But I mean, I grew up with Airplane. It was one of the first comedies that I saw in the theater that really got me. And that was 1989.

And it's the DNA of these guys, Zucker, Abrahams, the other Zucker. Pat Proft helped with the writing. But this was like this weird spoof era that felt like the biggest thing in the world for comedies in the 80s. And now I think it got ripped off.

And just watered down and diluted. And there were so many bad versions of it that people now stay away from it, which makes the old stuff even better. I know. And I don't know whether I'm just old and this stuff just hits me, but it's just like, I love that they never give up on going for it. It's like, is that joke sitting there? Let's grab it. Like the best example of that is when he opens the drawer and he's like, bingo and pulls out the bingo card. So stupid. I know.

Well, you and I talked before this, and let's just pull back the curtain. You said that you were really interested in Craig's review. And I said I'm nervous for it, because this movie is special to me. And I'm worried, Bill, that people, either young people now or just people just seeing it are like,

This is fucking stupid. It's not funny. It's dumb. They go to the water and there's a chalk outline floating on the water. I'm supposed to think that's funny. And I do think it's funny. And I think we're going to have that battle here today. If Craig comes on here and says it's not funny, we'll get to it, Craig. But I respect you. I hope it doesn't go that way. Yeah, I'm a little nervous about that. So these guys...

The Zucker crew, they did Airplane. Yep. They made Naked Gun from the files of Police Squad, which I'm proud to say. And I know people can think like, oh, he's full of shit. He didn't see the first season of Seinfeld when it was four episodes, all that shit. But I really did. I was an only child. I watched a lot of TV. I really did see a lot of these. You watched that show? The Police Squad series, which was only like six episodes. But I remember-

I had no idea if other people were watching it. I didn't have a lot of people to talk about. It wasn't like I could go on Reddit boards and see, oh, is anyone else watching Naked Gun? And I remember he got nominated for best actor for a comedy series in the Emmys. And I was like, wait, other people saw it? Like, I just had no idea. It lasted six episodes and it got canceled.

So I thought that meant it was a failure. But a lot of the DNA from the movie is in the TV show. I mean, they openly steal scenes from it. Apparently, it's just direct jokes, like you're saying. I remember as a kid and even growing up, I didn't know what the hell the second part of the title meant from the files of police squad. Like that meant nothing to me. But the titles were so silly. I just thought it was some joke I didn't get.

Apparently, as it goes, like they always wanted to make a movie. They couldn't come up with it. So they were they handed a TV show six episodes and then like canceled after four. And yet it still spawned this trilogy, really, that we're going to get to. And I just think it's I also think like I think importantly, set the table like

I saw this, you were saying you grew up with Airplane. I saw this at a birthday party, a ninth birthday party. Like 12 nine-year-olds in the theater together just hopped up on like Icy's and popcorn and just laughing until we fell on the floor. We thought it was so funny, like the dumb stuff, the dick stuff. But what I didn't get, Bill, that I get now is like, this is also one of the strangest casts ever assembled, like ever. And I mean, it's really strange. I know we'll get into it. The top to bottom is like, this movie has...

Elvis Presley's wife, Tony Soprano's mom, an Oscar winner, the Fantasy Island guy, a baseball legend playing a killer, a football legend who became an actual killer. And then we have a 62-year-old man who's been in Hollywood 40 years. And this is like his first leading movie star role. That's the cast. It's batshit. Yeah, Leslie Nielsen, who I felt like I grew up with in the 70s because he was on...

Every TV show. Talk about this. I don't know this. I mean, here's how you know if somebody was really in the rotation. Look how many Love Boat and Fantasy Islands they were in. It's not just a onesie. They come back like a year later. He was in three different Love Boat episodes and three different Fantasy Island episodes. And you go through his IMDb and it's all the hits. It's Kojak. It's Beretta. It's Vegas. It's...

You know, he's just hitting all of them. And that's who he was. It was a little like what Jeffrey Tambor was like. Where Jeffrey Tambor was, you know, was in Three's company in four different ways and then finally ended up getting the Ropers. So we think that him and, like, Ricardo Montalban were probably buddies, right? Like, they'd been on Fantasy Island a bunch of times already together, right? So they were probably old friends. I had no idea. Right.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, because he was on the three different Fantasy Islands. So he shows up in Airplane, and one of the gimmicks of him showing up in Airplane was it was like, oh, it's that guy, but now he's funny? And I guess he had been in some other comedies, but he's so good in Airplane. And Airplane is, I don't know, it's the movie that paves the way for Naked Gun, which I think has lasted. Would you say it's lasted better? Airplane is...

Feels pretty dated. It's a parody of 1940s movies in 1980, which now is 44 years ago. 100%. I think Airplane is the godfather of this genre. It's legendary. It's more well-known. I think The Naked Gun is way better. And we're going to talk about what's aged the best. I put on Airplane. I feel like I'm watching a movie in 1932. I can't believe how old it looks. And I think that's some of it because they're on a plane the whole time. And the plane's just old-fashioned. This movie, you turn on Naked Gun, I'm like, I don't know.

2005, I don't miss the cell phones. It's just them in LA at a baseball game and just solving crimes. I think it holds up well. Yeah, that's a good point. Because Airplane, even though it has really funny individual scenes, like the two kids that act like adults kills me. Oh, yeah. The lady who freaks out and there's a lineup to basically slap her. It's so politically incorrect. And a nun does it. Yeah, and they go down the line. Somebody's holding nunchucks.

Well, Mrs. Cleaver saying, excuse me, stewardess, I speak jive. I mean, it's unbelievable. Right. But that's stuff that in 2024, it wouldn't be a big deal that that's Mrs. Cleaver. But in 1980, it was like, oh my God, they got Mrs. Cleaver. This one added. So anyway, the Zucker gang, they did this. They did Top Secret in 84. They did Ruthless People. They did the scary movies. They had incredible careers. But I think this was...

The apex. I saw, I'm proud to say, I saw this in the theater. I think I saw it with my buddy Gus. I'm not positive, but I'm 95% positive. Gus would remember. Absolute hardest I've ever laughed in a theater. This is your number one. This is one A and there's something about Mary is one B for hardest and not just hardest. I laugh, but the theater just dying. And the thing that actually pushed it over the top for me was the, was the baseball game.

The montage of the scoreboard when the guy's head came off that and the guy getting eaten by the lion at second base, like that was it. I was like killed over. I was killed over that. Just that finished me off.

But I think this was number one. What's your number one? Because it couldn't have been this because you were nine. No, it didn't count. But listen, we're eye to eye. Summer 1998, I go to see this Fairley Brothers movie. There's something about Mary. And I love Dumb and Dumber. I love Kingpin. And my number one hardest laugh came about 10 minutes into the movie when we see Ben Stiller's nuts up the zipper. I can't believe they showed it. What's crazy, though, is I laughed so hard that

rain as my hardest theater left ever lasted about a half an hour. And then it was dethroned by when he has the load on his ear. And I actually fell out of my chair at 18 years old onto the floor. And that to this day, my hardest two laughs ever are both. There's something about Mary amazing.

I think I went back for seconds for Naked Gun because the first time, everyone in the theater was laughing. So you missed half the jokes. And then we went back again when there was less people. But then what really, and this goes back to the theme of the podcast, once this hit the cable rotation, probably, I don't know, six, eight, nine months. It also was in the blockbuster rental area too, which was great. But once it hit that

That cable rotation. USA. Then you could just jump in. Yeah, whatever. Whether it's TNT, whether it's HBO, wherever. You could just jump into different parts. And if it's like, oh, he's about to assault the umpire and take the umpire gear away. Great. I'm in. And that's what the legacy of this was. Other than what you mentioned at the top, it's 85 minutes start to finish, including all the credits. Right.

And Craig always talks about this. Like what happened to the 90 minute movie? What happened to the let's get in and out now, if they made it, this would be two hours. And I've been listening a lot to a lot of rewatchables and I know what's the state with movies right now. And fantasy was on a tirade about why does fall guy have to cost that much money? Why is it so expensive? And your usual bedrock is why is it so long? So I'm looking at this Furiosa, you know, it's two and a half hours. The, these are like planet of the apes movies are fucking two and a half hours.

And I just don't know why someone doesn't bang that fist on the table and say enough, cut 20 minutes out of it too long. And I look at Naked Gun breezes by an effortless sub hour and a half. And I just love it for it. You can watch it twice. Yeah, we used to have a category that I took out about what best time to take a pee break. Is that gone? Anchorman flu category. Yeah, I kind of took it out because you could basically put that on what stage the worst. There's no pee break in this movie. There's no part like you could say maybe you could race out.

When Ricardo Montalban's talking to Priscilla Presley. That's it. For like, it's like a minute of, ah, yeah, they probably could have cut this. That's it. That's the only scene. Bill, I looked at this when I watched the longest stretch they go in the whole movie without any kind of joke or gag is that scene when he tells her, I want you to get to know Frank Drebin. And it's a 60 second scene with no jokes. You could take a really quick piss, but that's the longest you're getting 60 seconds. So Leslie Nielsen, um, top 10 Canadian for you.

He's up there. Yeah. Oh, top 10. Definitely. I think you got to put Jim Carrey ahead of him. I think you got to put John Candy ahead of him. Lorne Michaels. Yeah. I more prefer the artists. Dan Aykroyd. Look at him. You're artist friendly. Kyle Britt. Yeah. Come on. What are we talking about here, Bill? I'm not a magnet. I'm a talent. I'm going with the talent. Nevermind Lorne Michaels. Gretzky. Yeah.

Gretzky, sure. Mike Myers, yes. Brian Adams, yes. Rachel McAdams, yeah. How about the hitman, Bret Hart? Bret Hart's one. I forgot. Excellence of execution, Bret Hart's number one. The anvil, Jim Neidhart. Anyway, Canadian. I think he got American citizenry at some point. Roger Ebert called him the Lawrence Olivier of spoofs. Awesome. That was a thing. So there's this weird Leslie Nielsen part when Naked Gun comes out.

And he has unanimous approval rating, right? And then the 90s, he just starts cranking out spoof comedies and becomes the king of spoof. And we get Naked Gun 2 1⁄2, which isn't bad. Big hit. Way more money than the first. It's okay. It works. It's fine. It works. It's not as good as Naked Gun 1. Then Naked 33 1⁄2 is really bad. 33 1⁄3. 33 1⁄3 has the ignominy of coming out like two months before OJ's wife died. It's really close. Really close. Yeah.

They went for it in the 33 and a third. They go for the big final set piece like they do with the baseball game, except they do the Oscars. It's just not going to work. And they make a lot of bad Phil Donahue jokes. It falls flat in the final act. It's very pop culture centric in a way that has not aged well at all. He also did Repossessed, which was an Exorcist spoof.

He did 2001, A Space Travesty. He did Dracula, Dead and Loving It. He did Spy Hard and Wrongfully Accused, which were diehard and fugitive things. I would call this the bad blockbuster era for Leslie because you would go to the new rentals in Blockbuster and there would be a videocassette and it would be Leslie Nielsen making some funny face with some bad gimmick. I choose...

to basically not think about that stuff. A lot like, you know, the great 80s or 90s wrestlers when then they have like the next 10, 12 years where they're in like TNA and it's like, you know what? That never happened.

Willie Mays stumbling around the outfield for the mess like in the 73 series. Here's the test bill like alright So he made a movie that's an entire spoof of the fugitive like nobody likes the fugitive more than you and I I've never seen that movie I never thought about seeing that movie. I've never seen any of those. He also mr Magoo, which I think yeah awful He just tried he kept putting up shots and like they didn't they didn't connect again. He did a golf thing

Yeah. He created some golf character that, I don't know, it was like a parody thing, but it didn't really work. But regardless, he lives on forever with Airplane and with Fantasy Island. Ricardo Montalban. Let's go. Who had a bad guy run of Fantasy Island, which I want to talk about in a second, because you don't think of him as a bad guy in Fantasy Island. Star Trek II, Wrath of Khan, one of the great performances. Pauline Kael.

talked about how great he was in Star Trek II, Wrath of Khan. He's unbelievable. That's how good he was. There's people who are hot takes that Khan is better than Darth Vader. People love Khan. Love him.

Which also got the resurgence when David Kahn took over the Timberwolves and took Johnny Flynn and Ricky Ruby over Steph Curry, leading to me just doing Kahn in like two years of columns. Also, Shad Kahn hired Urban Meyer to be the head coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars. That went well. There was not a lot of wraths of Kahn after that wrath. And Tony Kahn running AEW. That's right. Trying to compete in WWE.

So Fantasy Island, because he plays two great bad guys in the 80s, Con and Vincent Ludwig. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fantasy Island, he's allegedly a good guy, but he wasn't. And this is one of the reasons I love Fantasy Island. And now I'm really dating myself because nobody under 47. No, Bill, you're cooking. Go. I got you. This is a huge, important show. Mr. Work was dark, man.

He had a dark side to him, and there would be moments when somebody was like, I didn't realize my fantasy was going to go badly like this. And Mr. Work would get in their business and be like, nope, you chose this fantasy. Now you have to finish it. And it was just like he was sinister, man. He was a little bit of the dark arts. Like, I wouldn't be surprised if he was on the Epstein Island logs, honestly. I could see maybe he went back 20, 30 times. But I never trusted Mr. Work, but I think it was because of Montalban's

Because he was just so... And he had that crazy... Some people just had great evil rugs. His toot, like, just that kind of... You just know it's not his real hair, but it's so impressive. You just kind of want to stare at it. As the TVs get better, you can just...

phase in on his rug for 10 minutes. See, this is now I'm getting to know you so well on the show, Bill. You wanted to do Naked Guns. You could talk about Montalban's hair in the fantasy. And it's creepiness. You know how sometimes you'll say to fantasy, like, hey, you want to take 30 seconds to talk about this DP, this director of photography? Bill, do you want to take 30 seconds to talk about Tattoo? Do you want to take 30 minutes? Let's go. Talk about De Plain. De Plain. That's all I know from that show. I might have been on a text thread about Tattoo a couple of weeks ago.

Didn't end well. I'll tell you this. One of the great 10-minute Google deep dives you'll ever do. Yeah.

Tattoo was like, he had the Dirk Digger from 1980 on in Boogie Nights run, Herve Vilches in real life. Like just insane. Cocaine, womanizing, like domestic abuse, like car accidents. But almost like he was like the lead singer of the Allman Brothers. And meanwhile, he was like two and a half feet tall and then leaves Fantasy Island. Like all time, he check. He walked away. This show's too small for me. I've got to tattoo it up.

And then was never seen again. So he, he did like leaving cheers in the middle of the run. He's like he, him, Gary Berghoff from mash and Shelly long and cheers were the, were the big three.

Wow. The what are you doings. Wow. You don't realize how good you've had it. I mean, they turned out to be cautionary tales. For any of our young friends listening, want to know about Tattoo, once you get to the death chapter of his Wikipedia, it's absolutely horrible. But he lived a hell of a life, huh, Bill? Jesus. Not only did he live a hell of a life, HBO TV movie, which I highly recommend, Peter Dinklage playing Tattoo. He took the character away from the island? Yeah. They did a whole Tattoo, like real life Tattoo.

Here's how fucked up his life was. Yeah. Tattoo. Anyway, Montalban. Wow. Just great stuff. And he's really good as Vincent Ludwig. And I think one of the keys with this movie is

Is they tried to get real actors and basically implored them. And the Zuckers, they've talked about this. Like, don't try to be funny. Just act this like it's like, just play this like it's a real movie, even though it's not. And I think that's one of the secret sauces. Now I always feel like people are trying to be funny as they're doing it. Yeah. It's like when she says...

Can I introduce you in a nightcap? Leslie Nielsen just, no, thank you. I don't wear them. There's no, there's no shtick. He's not chewing up scenery at all. He's just playing it straight. Like, like if that works so well and you just, all right, we're going to take really serious actors and put them a ridiculous movie. You wonder why it didn't work more. Like it just, I haven't seen that copied that many times. Maybe it's a dead form. Like we were talking about if they did that much box office, why didn't someone rip that off better?

Well, I mean, certainly enough people tried to rip it off. I would say this is one of the most ripped off genres. And the Scary Movie franchise, I think, did succeed. I was never a huge fan. I liked the first one. But for the most part, you know. This movie had a $12 million budget. It made $154 million. Astronomical. It was the eighth biggest movie of 1988 and spawned two sequels. And our guy, Roger Ebert, did you look this up? I did. Go on.

Three and a half stars from Rush. Fucking awesome. You go, Rush. This is the summer of Rush. Yes. He said, the movie is as funny, let it be said, as any comedy released this year with the exception of A Fish Called Wanda. By the way, I'll take the naked gun over A Fish Called Wanda. Definitely. I like Wanda, but this is better. Yeah. You laugh and then you laugh at yourself for laughing. The Naked Gun is an utterly goofy movie and a lot of fun. Great job, Rush. That's...

the line fucking laugh and laugh at yourself for laughing i was doing that last night like when he walks in and mountabon's like cuban he goes uh no dutch irish my father was from wales like i laughed i sat there giggling for the whole movie and then i'm like why did i laugh that's so dumb but i love it yeah he's right they just embraced the dumb all right we're gonna take a break and do the most rewatchable scenes which is basically the whole movie this episode is supported by state farm

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So again, I had to make some cuts. Yeah. I'm going to start with Nordberg foiling, foiling in the, at the, at the docks, the docks. Yeah. He has eight horrible things happen to him in a row. He's brutally shot by seven people. He hits his head. Yep. He burns his hand. I like the wet paint is just elite. Oh no. Oh no. I just got this jacket. The window closes on his hand.

Then there's a birthday cake. His face hits it. And then he steps on a bear trap. Wedding cake or birthday? I'm not even sure which. It's multi-tiered and then bear trap and then out. This is really good performing by The Juice. You can see how talented he is. The physical comedy is perfect. He's an amazing athlete. He's charismatic. I laugh every time he gets the paint on his jacket and is so pissed. And it's a brilliant start to the movie, obviously. The Juice...

We probably could have talked about him at the top, but... I got him in What's Aged the Worst. I mean, it's like the all time. Has there ever been a stronger What's Aged the Worst in Rewatchables history than The Juice? I think it's the number one. Well, you think about him in the 80s where he's on Monday Night Football. He's in commercials. He's in First and Ten on HBO. And then Nordberg really kind of revitalized him because this movie was such a hit and he was really funny in it. And by Naked Gun 33 and a Third...

The franchise is starting to fade. He's making that weird, he was making some like a Baywatch type of show. He's doing a pilot for that. That was where he got the knife. That became part of the trial. But then his wife died in June 94, and then that was it for the juice. Yeah, the timeline is when he's shooting this, he is married to Nicole. They have a child.

And then to your point, 33 and a third is still hanging around in theaters when the murders happen. And can you just imagine? It was still in some of those theaters. And it's all very dark and terrible. So if you compartmentalize Nordberg, I remember, I don't know Jay's football career just from grainy video and stuff. But when he was in the chase that night, my friend's calling me on our landline in our kitchen. He's like, dude, Nordberg's running. Fucking Nordberg. We knew him as Nordberg. That was us. Yeah.

That's kind of crazy. He's one of the best running backs of all time. And you knew him as Nordberg. Who do you think, what football player would Nordberg be now? I could have done this in unanswerable questions, but I'll just do it now. Adrian Peterson, maybe like a hall of famer, a 2000 yard rusher. Like, um, but Adrian Peterson didn't have the charisma. He wasn't in the Hertz commercials. Did you say Randy Moss?

Randy Moss is close, but also Randy Moss was infamous. Marshawn Lynch. But OJ was much better than Marshawn and much more productive. Like he had a 2000 yard season in the 70s. I like the Marshawn call from the, from the personality sense though. Cause just people, everyone likes Marshawn. It's true. Right.

So, so it's like Marshawn launch crossed with Randy Moss. Basically he was like, they don't throw this phrase around. Like OJ was almost like a national treasure in the seventies and eighties. He was that big of a deal. So I think Marshawn with like Randy's ability, like that's a good one. Oh, you know who it is? I got it. It's Barkley. It's if Barkley was Nordberg Barkley, like 10 years ago, but same kind of thing where great career. And then after his career, almost like elevated somehow.

Yeah. Just unbelievably like, like I was, I was having it later. Like who would be the Reggie Jackson? Like, you know, big poppy had some of that. Like just everybody loves them. Hall of fame player. It's just so well liked OJ. Like Ken Griffey. Yeah. Next we watch, we'll see him visiting Nordberg in the hospital, which is just incredible. The bed breaks. We had a parachute, a parachute not opening. That's the way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine. That's the way I want to go.

Good cop. Needlessly cut down an ambush by some cowardly hoodlum. There's no way for a man to die. Yeah, you're right, Ed. A parachute not opening, that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine. Having your nuts bit off by a Laplander. That's the way I want to go. Having your nuts bit off by a Laplander. The giant booger kills me. I don't know why giant boogers. Every time. They land every time and no matter what movie, the big long one.

And then Wilma, I promise you, whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he's behind bars. Now let's grab a bite to eat. It's fucking great. That's something you say with your friends. Like when you're really, let's go get a bite to eat. I love that part. Next one is Frank peeing with a live mic right into Frank negotiating with the guy from Pier 32. I'm going to lump those together, but I just, we both done TV and we both done live TV and you still do live TV. I don't do it anymore. Sure.

I think Frank peeing with the live mic is one of the most secretly important scenes in the history for anyone as a learning experience for anyone about to do TV. Because for the, for people who don't know, like you have this little transmitter on your side, you're mic'd up and you basically can turn it on or off. And it's just very easy to forget and forget.

Maybe you're talking with one of your buddies, somebody you like on the show, and you're like, let's talk about the producer for a second. You go out in the hallway, and you're like, fucking asshole. But if your mic's on, the people in the control room can hear everything. They can videotape everything. So it's always in the back of your head. But when I was doing TV, especially the games and stuff or those studio shows, I always thought of Frank Drebin.

- Always. - Like turn the mic off. It's like the first thing you think about it. It's 'cause of this. Am I crazy or is that true? - No, it's a brilliant take. I feel like every single person who puts one of those packs on the belt thinks about Drebin pissing and shitting and farting and whatever the hell he's doing. I mean, I've had lots of close calls and I've seen, what it is is like you finish the segment and you're gonna clear the set. And as you're walking off, you'd be like, what the fuck was that? And you just say it almost to yourself under your breath, but everyone can hear everything. We've seen it. Like it's not hard to Google,

People have been fired, people have had their lives ruined from hot mic moments. But I do think that Frank Drebin is like the ultimate contraception if you're ever going to say anything. It's true. The best part is the peeing is funny and it stops.

And Tony Soprano's mom is kind of like, oh, thank God it's over. And then it pees again and dribbles. And then there's another stream. And you're like, this is great. You guys can't top this. And then he does the arms up in the air fart. He goes with his hands all flexed. And he goes, whoops. Oh, and then it's like a double fart. It's so fucking good. And then she just puts her head in her hands. So is this.

Is this the funniest pissing scene of all time or is it the first Austin Powers evacuation complete? Because they're really similar scenes. I actually think this one's funnier.

I think Austin Powers. It's good. No, but I'm saying Austin Powers kind of dips into the... Yeah. Yeah. Naked Gun was first. It's got to get the credit for it. Powers is good, but it's basically the Drebin scene again. It is. And remember, that scene opens with one of my favorite lines in the whole thing when Drebin gets up and says, no matter how silly the idea of having a queen may be to us, we must be honorable. Fucking great. He starts the whole press conference. And we totally agree. It is silly. It is.

And then it goes right to Pier 32 and they ripped that one off directly from Police Squad. That was one of the famous scenes from the grow up. It's a great bit. But given the $20 back and forth, excellent. I love the gadget guy, Ted Olson, and that's my next rewatchable scene because it starts with him. First of all, his driving, which I had in What's H the Best, the gimmick of how bad of a driver he is, which they never, it's just always kind of under the radar the whole time, but he parks, his car rolls down the hill, he starts shooting at it.

Look at the driver. He kind of realizes it, but then he goes to see gadget guy, Ted Olson. We get an anti-graffiti wall, which I'm kind of down for. I thought that was a good idea. Talk about it. Why don't we have this? Spray the shit out of those people. Yeah, that was one of those ideas. It was like a Kevin Wild's half-baked idea where it's like, that might be fully baked. It's true. And then the Swiss army shoe I thought was great.

But then we get Ed getting shot by the cufflink. We call it the Swiss Army shoe. That's great, Ted. What about the fiber sample? Let me just show you one more thing, Frank. You see these cufflinks I'm wearing? Well, they're not just cufflinks. Each one fires a single pin-sized dart that knocks out your victim for a few minutes but does no permanent damage. Here, let me demonstrate on Ed. Why? Don't worry, he'll be up and around in no time.

he just falls backwards just one question bill about the swiss army shoe is it possible that uh our boy from roadhouse ripped it off a year later with the right boot with the knife on the boot like we i feel like it flies really close to that the bladed boot that's the first thing i thought of yeah no i think you're right you're right we also meet uh the giant guy al in this scene who's also from the police squad tv series but you got something on your mouth

One of the great sight gags though, because you just never see him. I think for all three movies, you just see him from like the shoulders down. And then the use your other eye, Frank. That's just, the jokes are coming and they're perfect and they're just hitting the whole time. The chase scene with the evil doctor.

Where we get the teen driving school girl. Go for it, Stephanie. Great scene. We get John Houseman in his last movie ever somehow. Tough one for John. Wait, can you tell me about Houseman? I remember I used to see him and do guest stars on sitcoms and stuff. He was a guy who was around. You're talking about The Driving Instructor? Yeah.

Yeah, he was like a very famous, distinguished actor. He's great in Rollerball. He was in The Paper Chase. Like he was just like, there was a levity with him. So having him in a movie like this was like a great gag. And he would drop into like Silver Spoons or Punky Brewster, things like that, right? I feel like I knew that guy other than Naked Gun. Yeah, in the last eight, nine years, he might've been leveraging the mystique of John Hausman for some paychecks. But this leads to Feldman Fireworks,

Please disperse nothing to see here, which I think has got to be one of the 20 most used Twitter meme videos, right? And here's when they use it. When you see Drevin saying nothing to see here, it'll be like the team announces that the star quarterback is getting a second opinion about his knee, but they remain confident about the prognosis. And then it'll be Drevin, nothing to see here as the fireworks are going. That's when you use it on Twitter. Yeah, it's eternal. Yeah.

I know your feelings on the falling and love montage, which is our next rewatchable. Let's go. We get running on the beach, cotton candy and tattoos, spring mustard on each other. And then the vendor who thinks it's hilarious. We get bull riding. We get, yeah, ride. And then they come out of a screening of platoon, which might be the funniest joke of the whole movie.

They walk out of Platoon uproariously laughing, like cry laughing as they come out of it. And, you know, they just watched Tom Berenger blow somebody's head off and Johnny Drama bashed their brains out. It's just, you know what's so good about Two Bills? Like, Platoon comes out end of 86.

this movie shooting early 88 like it's quick it's quick to have a platoon joke and it's so and when i watched it when i saw the movie i don't know what platoon was i have no idea i just still got that they just saw something really bad and they were cry laughing as they walked out it's it might be my favorite gag in the movie and then it ends with i can't believe we just met yesterday she says to which i thought was good that whole scene's great uh fast forward to

I only have three more because I didn't want to list 100. Just the whole movie. Go ahead. What's not funny? Enrico Palazzo singing the national anthem, but it's really Frank Drebin. The Rockets. Watch out for Zendaya. They prove that we still...

right into the baseball bloopers. So we get a bunch of bombs in the air. Um, I like when they cut to Palazzo tied up and just screaming. Cause his career is over last hog tied in his boxers. And it says on the bottom of the screen, Enrico Palazzo, that's got the blooper video though. The infielder getting hit by the car, the tiger, we see the queen passing food and drinks down, which is a really good gag. Uh,

And then the outfit is said coming off and Dick Enberg doing the... How about that? I like when the queen gets to her seats, there's like five guys burning cigs and drinking beers with their feet up on it. And then during the fight, the people behind the queen are screaming, kick them in the balls! And the queen's so uncomfortable. God, it's so good. The baseball scene...

Which I love everybody spitting, including the wives is good. Dave Spiewak on the mound. Go on. One of the thing with airplane naked gun, they would do this with some of the names. They, they would be like very subtle, stupid. Like there's a guy, pap smear. So it's one of the bad guys. I don't know. It always gets me. The Frank.

Not knowing where they're called the first strike. Unbelievable. Waiting, calling strike. And then he gets the, and then he's like, like a really good physical comedy from Leslie Nielsen too. Right. Incredible. Then the moonwalk and I'm sure that was a double, but like when he starts playing to the crowd, it's awesome. I love when they cut to the closeup and he's just so excited to call strike three. He's like, yeah,

Uh, the, uh, cheating Spiewak, the rundown, the, I love LA. Like it's just, I guess we'll talk later whether this is a sports movie or not, but this is a very fun extended baseball thing. And then the last one is just Reggie Jackson. Yeah. Out of nowhere being the killer. We have a movie with OJ Simpson and somehow he's not the famous athlete who turns out to be the killer. The end it's Reggie Jackson. I must kill the queen. I must kill the queen. Um,

And that leads to the best line of the movie. Which is? In a movie that brought the house down in the theater when it turns, Frank saves the day and then Chubby from Teen Wolf goes, hey, it's Enrico Palazzo. The umpire. He saved the queen's life. That's not the umpire, your honor. Hey, it's Enrico Palazzo. Yeah.

It's a joke on a joke. You didn't even need it. It was funny without it. But it might be the biggest laugh out loud moment in the whole movie when he says that. God, it's funny. Brought the house down. It really did. When you see him, if you're really plugged in, you're like, holy shit, that's chubby. And it's also Francis from Pee Wee's Big Adventure. And you have one line. That's all he does in the whole movie. Yeah, it was great.

And then the other parts of this, the mannequin getting dragged up the stairs, that's supposed to be Priscilla Presley. I like how movies do that too. Just like the obvious mannequin. And then Ludwig gets killed by the dart. He gets hit by a car, then a steamroll, and then the marching band. A little over the top, but it was good. Some people say you get off easy in the Dodger Stadium parking lot. That's all that happens to you. That's true.

What's your most rewatchable scene? I mean, it's baseball and large. And part of the reason is like, you're just watching this movie for an hour. And you're like, yeah, it's a really funny cop movie. Out of nowhere, they decide to have the final act at a baseball game for no reason. And then it's more specific, I think, the national anthem within the baseball game. And as we always talk about, Bill, 90% of having a scene like that is you use real teams. It's the Mariners and the Angels. It really helps.

and it just completely legitimizes it. That whole last baseball scene is, there's not a lot more enjoyable scenes in any comedy ever. I agree. We have the same rewatchable scene. What's aged the best?

The opening credits are stupendous. I'm into it. I love that shit. The siren going through the roller coaster and everything. It's great. Going through somebody's house. I like when it goes through the car wash. It's so stupid. Well, also those guys are always a little pervy who are writing that. Of course, it goes through like the women's shower room. And we used to try to pause the VHS to see if we could see anything in there. You couldn't see much, but like that's all we needed back then. Those guys are always a little horny. Frank's fridge with the stuff in it.

Oh yeah. The milk from seven years ago, the Chinese food. It's just, I always think that went out for some reason when you have stuff in the fridge from a million years ago, I just always think of Frank Drummond's fridge. What do you have for what's in your fridge? It's like a glacier. Yeah.

I have a broader one. The content has aged really well, I think, in like the PC sense. Like a lot of times we go back and watch these 80s comedies and you cringe because there's a lot, a lot of like direct racial humor or there's like gay characters that are just made fun of, like just...

That doesn't really exist in the naked gun. Like there's, there's not a lot of cheap shots that they could have made in any of those things that like would get canceled now. And I think later in the franchise, they started to do it. Like, I remember there's a joke where OJ's Afro is so big, he can't walk through the door. Like there's none of that really going on here. I mean, the first scene with all the villains and the terrorists is kind of weird, but other than that, the jokes are just jokes that hit the palette the same way today, more or less. And you almost never see that in comedies. Yeah. It's like timeless comedy. You're right.

I texted this to you, but Frank's first dinner date when they're talking and he goes, almost as interesting as the photographs I saw today. And she goes, I was young. I needed the work. Perfect. Stole that line for like 20 years. That was like a running joke with the friends. Perfect joke. Just like perfect. Literally a perfect joke.

By the way, I faked every orgasm was another one. I like seeing all the baseball announcers from the 80s as a Woodstage of Best. Seeing Mel Allen, Dick Enberg, Kurt Gowdy, a very young Jim Palmer and on down the line. It's just kind of fun. And just that idea of kind of them seeing where the future was going with how stupid...

three-man booths and seven-man sets. It was like the first time anyone made fun of it. I really appreciated it. You've been on that for years. I was going to ask you, what was it like to see that? Because I think they got, well, then they, of course, and Dr. Joyce Brothers. They had six people. Bill, what's the, I was thinking about this. What is the most you've ever sat on? Like when you were at the desk, what's, how many people have, because I think I've been at a six-man desk at the Super Bowl and it's a lot. Do you remember how many was the most? We,

We did five a couple of times. That was the most for me. And I just was stunned by how stupid it was. I couldn't believe it. Hey, I was just like, this is where it's a four minute segment. And,

just for four minutes, four of the five people aren't talking. And there's no way to have a bounce around anything. It was the dumbest thing I'd ever been a part of. So six is like- It's unbelievable. Can't even imagine. And when it's coming down, so that someone talks to you in your ear when it's about to be your turn, and normally you were going to talk for 30 seconds,

They're behind now, so they'll be like, all right, Kyle, we're coming to you next. Give me your best 10 seconds on Dak Prescott. 10 seconds? That's what they have to do because there's so many people. Then there's fights in the production meeting about who's going to speak first because you know they're going to go long. It's a whole thing. It's hard. It's hard TV. Well, and then the person who goes first can really fuck over everybody else. Everybody. You never know if they're doing it intentionally or unintentionally, but if it's a four-minute segment and you're going first and you go for 110 seconds...

Well, Bill, how about when you go for 110 seconds and then the host adds a follow-up to that person? They want to follow up and then they go again. Then you're all done. Oh my God. I could talk about this forever. Same. What's aged the best? When he's on the building...

And he's trying, he climbs out the window and they had the, the basically the Roman statues, which usually have like small penises, but they can go giant. Everybody's fucking hung and he's grabbing on this one giant piece. It's just a great one. I wrote down a, Oh, I have a couple more. The Tony Soprano's mom, you mentioned, it's just so funny to see her in this. I love it. And she's not, she's light. She likes it.

Her hair was the color of gold in an old painting. In the cat of legs, you'd like to suck on for a day. And then after it says that, she runs her face first into the wall. And it's just funny. I laugh every time at that. The drive we mentioned. I like what everybody makes up at the end too. But my favorite is all the dumb throwaway jokes. It's like you have to see the movie 20 times before you catch all of them. Like Yasser Arafat has a name tag. It says, my name is Yasser Arafat.

Gorbachev's birthmark, which was a little more obvious. What'd she say about the new guy? Just that he's an Olympic gymnast and it's the best sex she's ever had. They just move on from that. The Chuck outline you mentioned. The hospital, Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle. Nice beaver. Thank you. I just had it stuffed. She has a stuffed beaver. That was our favorite line as kids.

I know this little out of the way place that serves great biking food. Frank doing that walk and he's like, he's setting up the thing and then he's just in the middle of nowhere. He's like, and where the hell was I? His tearaway suit, the bingo.

Oh, it's the missing evidence from the Kellner case. My God, he was innocent. Frank, you went to the chair two years ago. Don't forget I spent two years as a building contractor. It just keeps coming and coming, and they're all under the radar. Even the ones that aren't big laughs, like she goes, how about a rain check? Well, let's just stick to dinner. That's funny to me. Yeah.

Any other West Asia bests or can we move on? Just more of the baseball. Real teams, like real players who look like real baseball players. Like they absolutely, the pitching looks good. The hitting looks good. Everything about the baseball works. Great shot, Gordo Award. Most cinematic shot. The fireworks going off behind Drebin.

It's a good one. Famous, iconic, memorable. Would you take something else? I got the final shot of the film. I got OJ going down the stairs and then- Oh, nice. ... Perrini and over the top. Yeah. Poor Norbert. Everyone should have a friend like you, Frank. The final shot of the film. That's mine. Kid Cudi, Pursuit of Happiness, the word for best needle drop. It's either I'm Into Something Good by Herman's Hermits- Who we got? ... or I Love LA by Randy Newman, which then became-

the closer for the Lakers for 40 years basically. I knew this was going to happen. There's two songs. I love LA, it's a really fun song. I tend to go with the Herman's Hermits. I love LA, there's been so many other places to your point. Especially when they dropped the text for a music video on TV. I'm going with Herman's Hermits, something good. Big Kahuna Burger were our best use of food or drink. It's the Chinese food.

Wong woos. Are they back in business? I thought that closed three years ago. All right. I'm going to disagree. I was going to go for the mountain of red pistachios, but for me, it's definitely George Kennedy at the ballgame. Beer, creamsicle, grapes, and then an entire cake.

One after another. And my take on that, what they should have done, Bill, they should have done an Easter egg, so to speak, to Cool Hand Luke. And they should have had him eat a hard-boiled egg in the middle of it. And it would have been even cooler. That was a miss by those guys. And they should have done the extended scene where he's just eating for 20 things just to put on YouTube. It's the best. The Butcher's Girlfriend Award for weak link of the film. Mm-hmm.

You mentioned earlier it's well, it's OJ Simpson in a comedy. Yeah. It's beyond a what's aged the worst. It's like, Hey, there's disgraced double murderer. OJ Simpson is Nordberg. I got to say though, maybe I'm just a bad person, but I kind of like, I kind of like it. It's so weird.

Listen, we're going to get to Juice when we talk Dion Waiters. Juice, it's very strange to watch it, but I can only say at the time it was so fun and OJ was so cool and he did the thing so well. I mean, there's a legendary story. Don't apologize, Kyle Brandt.

Don't apologize for liking OJ and the Naked Gun. Yeah, I don't. I don't. I don't. This is before anything happened. This is when, like, you were hearing the story. James Cameron always tells the story that he was going to cast OJ as the Terminator and decided to go with Arnold instead because he couldn't believe that OJ could be a ruthless killer. Nobody knew. Wood's age is the worst.

Just from a, who are these guys? All the bad guy world leaders in the opening scene. Now it's like 40 years later. It's like, you don't know who any of those guys are. You don't think for the time, there's the Yasser Arafat joke hits big at all. That, that, that doesn't work. Idi Amin.

You got to understand, every single night on the Tom Brokaw evening news, he would talk about all those guys. Yeah. And it was an outlandish way to open the movie. And the fact that he punches the Ayatollah and there's an orange mohawk on it, it was really, really funny. But now, I mean, do you think they could do that now and it would be like Putin and ISIS? Would we have six evil guys you would even recognize? Putin? Yeah.

That's it. Yeah, because some of the other people are kind of faceless now. It's not like Arafat or Gorbachev. Yeah, I just should have been on What Stage is the Best. I miss the days when I could recognize the quote-unquote villain world leaders from other countries. Back then, it was like, oh, I know this guy, I know this guy. And they would do them on shows like Not Necessarily the News. They'd always make fun of those guys. And SNL, obviously. Those guys were like household faces, not even just names. Now, it's just so darker now.

what's the worst the safe sex joke is just bad it didn't really work in 1988 now it's like at a at a mars so dissect that you know they're trying to get everyone to use condoms in the 80s it posts aids and all that and they're and so i guess they just are like maybe the whole body should be in a condom i've never liked the joke that much yeah i never liked it either and then uh

You know that once the movie became super successful, there was a lot of stuff about how they directly lifted from different movies. Oh, really? No, it wasn't a stealing because it was a comedy, but it was basically, they just took entire sequences and spy magazine in 1993 wrote about all the things they stole from get smart from the pink Panther. It's stuff like Ludwig and Pabst Schmier.

talking was about hypnosis was a direct spoof of a Charles Bronson movie called Telephone in 1977. Drebin's first meeting with Jane was like a direct parody of this Robert Mitchell movie, Farewell, My Lovely. But I think-

I think that's how they did it back then. They would just take scenes that were supposed to be serious and they just thought they were so funny how stupid they were and then they would just basically steal them. But Austin Powers did the same thing with the Bond movies. So I'm okay with it, but some people get their panties in a bunch of money. Not me. I don't give a shit. I'm glad they stole it. I don't care. These are my guys. Any other Wednesdays are worse for you?

Priscilla Presley's career you talk about that for a sec like yeah, you see this movie and she is Unbelievably beautiful. She's really funny. She's great in the role. I would have bought a lot of stock And it's just for context so like this is 88 Elvis has been dead about a decade She does Dallas. She's doing some things like she's on TV and then she hits a franchise. She's in two massive movie roles and

I would have thought seeing the Jane in this movie that that's going to be Meg Ryan. She's so beautiful and so fun and so cool. And then it just kind of never went anywhere other than the Naked Gun movies, as far as I know. Yeah, I'm not positive she could act. I think her lack of ability of acting didn't matter in this movie because it wasn't the point of the movie. But I'm not sure. Like her and when Harry met Sally, I'm not sure she's pulling off like...

But she seems genuinely hurt when Frank brings out the garter belt and she's like, whose is that? And he just flings it. I like her in this movie. Maybe when you put her in a room, it's not good with the material. I don't know. God, she's pretty. Yeah, she is. Ruffalo Hannah Rubinick Partridge overacting a word. They knew and they let it happen. Don't you call me lady. I come in here. I give these things to you. Give it all you got. Give it all you got.

I treated you like a son. You fucking stabbed me in the heart. Fuck you. Fuck you. You have a candidate for this?

You know what? I tossed some to my guy, Papschmeer. When she's pointing the gun at him, he's like having this complete gyration meltdown. That's the only one I could come up with. They're all doing schtick in the whole movie. Is there another one? Yeah, I have one, but it's stealth. Is it Reggie Jackson? No, when Frank is, before he climbs onto the side of the building and he goes in that lady's room and she's wearing a bra and she's like, ah!

It's like one of the worst actors of all time.

So I think we can sneak her in for that. That woman was hired for, for three reasons, the two, you know, and then the one that she was probably a really good screamer. So she, she really unleashed hell. I'm not, yeah, I'm not even sure she was a good screamer. Was there a better title for this movie? So they called it naked gun because one of the writers had done the police Academy movies.

And they thought Police Squad was too close to Police Academy, which is why they changed it to Naked Gun from the Files of Police Squad. I love Naked Gun. I think it's a great title. I don't even know what it means, but it's funny. I've never understood. Is it just a dick joke? Like naked and gun? I've never totally gotten it at all. I just know it as Naked Gun. I can't explain why they call it that. It's weird. I think it's just two stupid words together. They thought it was funny. Yeah, it is.

Wow. Well, we're going to take a break because we got to do the can you dig it a word for most memorable quote. And I got five to throw you, but we're taking a break quick.

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All right. Can you dig it a word for most memorable quote? I'm going to give you five. He's got a 50% chance of living, but there's a 10% chance of that.

My take on that, Bill, is did Anchorman rip that off with 60% of the time it works every time? It's kind of the same kind of joke there. They might have stolen a split there. You could use that one for talking about the Steelers are 8-7 but have an outside chance of winning the AFC North. And we're like, well, they have a 50% chance. It's good. I'm going to do that.

You take a chance waking up in the morning, crossing the street, or sticking your face into a fan. Life isn't always fair. Just think the next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested. It's just elite. Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano. Sure, it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside. And then, Jane, since I've met you, I've noticed things that I never knew were there before. Bird singing, dude glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.

What do you got for best quote? It's impossible. It's picking the prettiest color in the Louvre. Like, I actually, the one that I actually love the most, you said earlier, and it's Ed saying, you know, what do you know about the guy? Oh, not much. Olympic gymnast, best sex she's ever had. That line kills me. Sorry. That's all I heard about the guy. There's a million you could pick. Yeah. I don't, not the Drano one, but...

You mentioned how funny it is that Frank, his driving is so bad. I love how gun-happy Frank is. He's always looking to shoot people. And when she tells the story about how he shot six actors playing Julius Caesar, it just killed them all. Good ones! He's always ready for that. The CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford, hottest take award.

I guess in the spirit of this award, I'm going to go with, I don't know why Leslie Nielsen wasn't a bigger star. Talk about it. Never appeared even in a movie that was nominated for an Oscar. Like somebody who, handsome guy, had a real charisma to him and had really good comic timing. Like, I'm not sure why he wasn't in one awesome movie. Where was his fletch?

This was his fletch. That's it. That's all he has. And they took a million swings. Bill, have you ever seen some of his really dramatic work in the 80s? It's really disturbing. Yeah, you can't take it seriously. Do you know that movie Nuts with Barbra Streisand and Richard Dreyfuss? If you're listening to this pod and you only know Naked Gun, YouTube Leslie Nielsen Nuts.

He tries to rape Barbra Streisand and he's dropping F-bombs and it is dead serious. And I felt like I was so disturbed. I felt like my cool uncle, I saw him like commit a crime or something. It's really weird. So we should have put that in what stage is the worst. Anytime Leslie Nielsen was in a drama because he's in prom night in 1980, the Jamie Lee Curtis horror movie. And every time he comes in, you just feel like naked guns about to happen. But it's like this serious, scary prom horror movie.

Yeah. I'm not really the same person I was before I saw that clip of him and Barbra Streisand. Yeah, that's really right. I'm definitely not YouTubing that. Do you have a hottest take or should we move on? I got one. All right, let's hear it. Naked Gun is the funniest movie of the 80s.

It's the number one funniest movie and I'm prepared to defend it. It's because all it cares about is being funny every single second. It doesn't get sidetracked by anything. If you look at some of the other contenders, Caddyshack is amazing. It's got this whole thing where they get a little serious sometimes and it's golf and it's the sex and they get a little sidetracked from comedy. Ghostbusters is a better movie than Naked Gun, but it's sci-fi. It's all this other shit.

Coming to America weighs down with romance and some of the sad stuff about it. Yeah. And coming to grips with being the prince. I think it's the funniest movie start to finish of the 80s. And I love 80s comedies. I think this is the funniest one. That's it. Yeah, it's probably this or Caddyshack in the finals for me. Vacation is really close too. Caddyshack has a couple of...

Couple of veers off to the side. There's some golf stuff. Yeah, Vacation's in there too. I hate that gopher. Everybody hates the gopher. And Vacation is in the conversation. But just, there's a little shorter, a little tighter. And there's very hard to find a pee break, like we mentioned. I think it's the funniest movie of the 80s. I like it. I don't even know if that's a hottest take. Might be it. Maybe. Semi-hottest take. Hey, we get to give out the Danny McBride Award for playing yourself. Our nominees, Reggie Jackson, Weird Al Yankovic,

Dr. Joyce Brothers or Jay Johnstone or all the baseball announcers.

Definitely Reggie Jackson. And it's also this incredible thing. If you went now, Bill, to someone akin to Reggie Jackson and said, we want you to be in the movie and there's going to be a you're going to get a gun from under second base and walk over to like, you know, Kate Middleton and try to murder her. And then a big fat person is going to fall on you and almost kill you. Like there is no way that would happen now for a million reasons. The guns and the jokes and just wouldn't go. But it was awesome when Reggie did it.

Yeah, I'm trying to think. Big Papi's the only one who I think might do it. Johnny Daymond would be like, I'll do it. No, no, you're not big enough. Yeah, thanks anyway, Johnny. I have to say, Bill, I hope this category comes up today. One of my favorite categories that goes away for months, what is it called, the

the Richard Kimball unnecessarily jacked award to Frank Drebin. He looks great when he takes his shirt off. - That's a good one. I should have thrown that in. - 62 years old and he's like, God, that's his body? Drebin looks great. I love that category and it only comes up like a few times a year. I think we have to give it to Drebin for this. - I like it. Casting what ifs, they wanted Bo Derek to play Jane. - Yeah.

That would have been pretty good. It works. Yeah, that would have been pretty good. It's too bad she didn't do it. They wanted Vin Scully and Bob Costas to be in the baseball announcing scene, but both of them had scheduled conflicts. George Kennedy actively campaigned for a role because I guess he was upset he wasn't an airplane. And he loved airplanes. So he badgered these guys. Yeah. And they worked him in. And that's all we got. Best That Guy Award.

I mean, there's a lot of that, like pap smears to that guy. There's a bunch of them, but I mean, chubby from teen Wolf, who is also in Peewee and is also Enrico Palazzo. I think he won, he's won this award before. I still don't know what his name is. I got it. I got it. His name is Mark Holton. And, uh,

And Bill, first rewatchables you and I ever did together was Teen Wolf. Yeah. And we gave it to him. We gave it to him. We gave it to Chubby as well. So this is a multiple time winner for him. If you ever do Pee-wee's Big Adventure, he might get it too. He'll win a third time. Yeah, he could get like a triple crown. It's to hang three banners. Mark Holton. That's the Rico Palazzo guy.

Chubby had a couple good important jump hooks in the comeback. Oh, definitely. They had no outside game at all because the Wolf was just a slasher. So even J. Fox was a slasher. So Chubby had a couple big shots. Remember that Brad on the Dragon goes, shoot it, fat boy. Fat boy. He had a P.J. Washington against Minnesota kind of heat check. He did. Started making corner threes. Dan Waiter's a word.

Reggie Jackson, we mentioned. Ted Olson, the gadget guy. Big Al. Or...

The, I'm blanking, Pabst-Mir, I guess would be the other one. Listen, I have the juice written down. Four scenes, not a lot of lines. OJ, heroin, Frank, heroin. It's a great scene. I don't think OJ's in it too much. I think he gets the waiters to add to his Heisman Trophy, which was taken from him.

I completely agree. I'm glad you broke the seal. Fuck it, I'm in. I liked him in this movie. I don't regret it. You talked me off the ledge. I'm sorry. O.J. Simpson, two-time murderer, Heisman Trophy winner, first guy to rush for 2,000 yards, and now Dion Waiters Award winner. Dion Waiters Award. Yeah. And he can keep that one, wherever he is. Put that first sentence for him. Recasting couch director or city? Hmm.

Can we just talk out Priscilla Presley for a second? Yeah, I like her a lot in this movie, but you already had me at Bo Derek. What's on your mind? Linda Carter. Great. Do you go somebody from 70s, like iconic TV 70s? Do you go Jacqueline Smith? Somebody who's a little older now, but is still like...

one of the angels into this, like, yeah. One of the Charlie's angels, wonder woman. Do you, do you, do you go that route? I'm going to hit you where it counts. I know what you like. I'm going to go a little different breed of, of actress. How about Markie post? Oh, wow. Come on. I know you're in the fan club. Is she too, is she too young for Frank?

Yeah, probably Frank's in his 60s. But this is probably, Night Court's probably on the air at this point, right? Yeah. She might be a little young. Marky Post could be a great one. Yeah, probably one of the Angels better. The only other one I had was Raquel Welch because this was right during the Raquel Welch renaissance when she would come on Letterman and flirt with them and

Well, she shows up in 33 and a third. She's on stage with Drebin at the Oscars and she's got all this physical humor and everything. By the way, Raquel Welch, my number one all time in history. The number one goat for me, Raquel Welch. Unbelievable. Lovely Raquel. I'm fine with Priscilla Presley though. I just wanted to talk about it. She's great. I wouldn't change the casting in this movie. Tony Romo or Chris Collinsworth for the director's commentary. I think I want Collinsworth.

Oh, Mike, there's nothing to see here. There's just some fireworks. He's just telling people to disperse. I think, I think if you went down and Dr. Joyce brothers and Tony Roma, Oh, he's going to go to second base. He's going to kill the queen. Jim. Oh, the umpires. I,

I think it's Romo in the booth with all those others. I really do. That's a great call. I didn't think of them actually in the booth. Actually, I think both of them went for this. That's the answer. You have to put both of them in. Of course. Without Michaels. Yes, everybody. And Mike Tirico, everybody. What's Reggie Jackson doing, Jim? I don't understand this. He's going to the stands. He's going to the cufflink darts, Jim. Oh, look, he's going to land.

Oh, here we go. And they won the Super Bowl. That's great. Who would you, of all the shows you did on Good Morning Football, was there ever a, I would shoot a cufflink dart at somebody on the set moment for you or no? You have to tell me later.

No, I mean, yeah, we had like a D'Angelo Williams almost came off the table at me years ago because he didn't like that Peter and I didn't play the game and didn't respect us. So I would have probably needed the company. Remember that? Yeah. That he would have been so mad at us. Why? Half-assed internet research. Yeah. Queen Elizabeth, the real one, did attend an Oakland A's versus Baltimore Orioles game years later in Baltimore. And Reggie Jackson was an Oakland A's coach and met her in the dugout.

Three 1988 comedies featured a villain getting run over by a steamroller. Can you name the other two? Okay. All right. Well, one I think we already named, which is A Fish Called Wanda. Yeah. And I got it. Was who friend Roger Rabbit, 88? Yeah. Roger Rabbit. Great job. Great job. Cool.

Drebin's dancing as an umpire was performed by somebody named Johnny Disco, who is a dancer. That's the guy's name? Yeah. There you go. Oh, he gets Dion Waiters. Sorry, Juice. You lose it again. The Johnny Disco gets the Dion Waiters. Amazing. Ludwig meeting with Drebin when he's feeding his fighting fish small minnows. That's a great scene. Identical to a Game of Death Bruce Lee scene.

when the main villain is feeding his fish. So they rip that off. Bruce Lee stabs the fish with a pen? I don't think that part happened, no. And then David Zucker said they really wanted the Brewers, but the league was like, you got to take the Mariners because they're trying to get some Mariners buzz going.

The Dodgers did not want any part of this movie because there was a baseball fight and there was a gun coming out of second base. But they said, we'll give you our stadium.

Which leads to the weirdness, if you're actually from here, of this is an Angels-Barroners game being played in Dodger Stadium. Which I never noticed until I actually moved here and started going to Dodger games. If you don't know any better, it's a baseball stadium. You'd think it's Angels Stadium. It's not. It gets even weirder for the real baseball heads out there. The first establishing shot inside the stadium is a Wrigley Field.

And it's blatantly Wrigley Field. Watch the scene again. There's the cop outside and they're walking around. So that's Angel Stadium. The outside shot of the stadium is Angel Stadium. And then they go into Wrigley, which I have no idea why. And then the rest of it seems to be Dodger Stadium. So they're all over the map, but it's naked guns. Who cares? Yeah. Apex Mountain. Okay. Leslie Nielsen, I'm going to say yes.

So I know we're kind of shitting on the sequels. The second one was a bigger hit with bigger money. And like he then had a franchise. And I really think it's the second one that got him all those shitty movies you never saw later. I think it's a couple of years later. I like it. Arbor Day. I really should get my rest tomorrow being Arbor Day. And I'll see, we can't even remember all the lines. That's like the 80th line in the movie I would have thought of. It's the last time anyone's ever mentioned Arbor Day. So I'm going Apex Mountain. OJ Simpson, probably not.

No, no. How about umpiring?

All right, so the shittiest part was, I can't believe we haven't brought this up yet. How about in the fan, De Niro behind the plate doing a Frank Drebin with the mask on? One of the worst scenes of all time. So stupid. I felt like I cared about umpires more in the late 80s. So having an umpire be part of a baseball movie, I don't know, I feel like it might've been the apex. I knew the umpire's names. Well, it's cool. Joe West, the real umpire is in this. And he's one of the guys that Drebin throws out and everybody knows Joe West.

George Kennedy, I'm going to say no. Reggie Jackson, no. Reggie Jackson hit three homers in a game-deciding World Series, and the fans all poured on the- But I bet he gets asked about this a lot. You know what's funny is when Queen Elizabeth finally died two years ago, all anybody was tweeting was Reggie Jackson jokes. Like just everything up first, Reggie Jackson. That's like a 35-year-old movie. Montalban, no. The California Angels-

It's either Naked Gun or it's almost beating the Red Sox in 86 and then blowing it. So it's probably for the Angels fans, probably Naked Gun. Not the Anaheim Angels, like the California Angels. The California when they were called the California Angels. I know. Priscilla Presley? Yeah. I mean, she married one of my favorite people of all time. Maybe as an actress, yes. Yeah, I think it is.

Bad guy toupees? I just want more info about his toupee and Fantasy Island from you. I know you left some fuel in the tank on that one. I think it has to be. You were fired up about that. I love nothing more than bad toupees. It's probably my number one thing that I enjoy.

My favorite one ever was Steve Sanders' dad in 90210. It might not have even been a toupee, but it's just a work of art. It's just beautiful. It's this big gray helmet on his head. But I like when it looks like a helmet. Do you see them in public? If you're at a restaurant, will you notice someone with a toupee? I got to say, it's one of my skills. It really is. I've said this before, but toupees, breast implants, tattoos.

dentures i can spot any sort of chicanery i i can spot like if someone has a glass eye you're like that's bullshit on that glass eye sammy davis i knew immediately i knew what was going on with him uh last one for apex mountain national anthems okay i'm gonna give you my mount rushmore for national anthems and tell me if you disagree i love this

The best national anthem of all time was Marvin Gaye at the 1983 NBA All-Star Game. It's unassailable. It's like arguing about Michael Jordan as the GOAT. Like, it just can't be argued. Whitney Houston at the Super Bowl. Although there were rumors she might have lip synced it. Well, that's the one that people point to a lot. That would be the LeBron and the Michael Jordan conversation or the Kobe. Because that was Desert Storm. Desert Storm, great one. Those two have to be mentioned. Yeah.

That fourth spot after Enrico Palazzo, some people would throw Jimi Hendrix, Woodstock in there. Sure. Creativity, kind of a moment. I went through, I Googled everybody's top 30 national anthems. There was nothing that really was like, oh, that's definitely it. Because I was trying to work backwards. There's no way you could cut this out. Yeah.

I would argue Enrico Palazzo is in the top four. I really think it is. It's one of the funniest scenes of the movie. It's an iconic 80s comedy. There's never been a scene like that. It's kind of pushing the envelope a little bit. Some people are like, you're not allowed to, that's our country, don't do that. But it's done tastefully.

I just think it's a great scene. I'm with you completely. And I do think what you're saying is, I don't think you do a scene now in a comedy where somebody maskers the national anthem. I think what's really interesting is that two years later after this movie, Roseanne Barr does it in San Diego and pretty much ruins her career for a long time. It's a huge, huge story in the news. And then we got to shout out our guy, Carl Lewis, probably the most infamous one of all time and the worst one of all time. But there's only snippets of video from that. Nobody has the entire...

That was the funniest though. You're right. Carl Lewis might be, it might be him versus Jimi Hendrix for that fourth spot. Mostly the clip that you see, it's from SportsCenter and it's Charlie Steiner trying to get through the broadcast of his signet. And he says, Francis Scott off key. At one point, Carl Lewis stopped. One of the best jokes. Uh-oh. I'll make up for it now.

It's unbelievable. Yeah, Steiner nailed that broadcast. It was so good. That's really, really a fun list. I have a little list myself for Apex Mountain, and I'm right with you. So take away National Anthem, just funny singing in movies, like scenes where a character sings, and it's fucking hilarious. I've got Frank Drab the National Anthem, okay? Yeah. Will Ferrell, old school. He does Dust in the Wind. It's great. In Step Brothers, he does Something to Talk About.

Yeah. Ladies night, John Lovitz and the wedding singer is a fantastic performance. Um, Cameron Diaz and my best friend's wedding, but our guy, Bill, he will rock you. And he,

I got Dirk. Come on, come on, come on. Feel, feel, feel. Maybe we do that twice at the end. Feel, feel. I think that's it for me. And that's not even, there's the other scene where he sings the second song when Chest is in the production booth singing for him. I think it's our guy Dirk. Even funnier than Leslie.

It's pretty good. It's probably Dirk and Will Ferrell in the finals because Will Ferrell has a bunch of them. I know. It's funny when he sings. You said old school. What were the movies you had for him? Old school, he does Dust in the Wind at that funeral, I think when Blue dies. And then in Step Brothers, he sings Something to Talk About. But you left out Anchorman too, though.

What does he sing in Anchorman? They sing that... Oh, yeah. Afternoon Delight. Afternoon Delight. Yeah. And he does Porti Valare also in Step Brothers at the end, at the Catalina White. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. Don't they sing in Anchorman 2 too, which is now becoming legitimately underrated and is a stealth rewatchable skin of it? I haven't seen it in years.

Yeah, I think they have a singing thing in that too. Yeah, it's, it's, it's, I think it's exactly what they wanted to happen has now happened. Oh, okay. Where they, they kind of made it so that 12 years from now, people will be like, you know, it was fucking good Anchorman 2. I think that was their entire intention of the movie. Cruiser Hanks.

This category is so fun. I've been listening to the episodes. Listen, I don't think we can have Cruise as Frank Drevin. I think what's interesting is that Hanks did it a year later. He was in Dragnet. And he was kind of the wild role. And Ackroyd was more of the straight man. But I just think that Hanks is so much better than Cruise comedically. I really do think he's head and shoulders above with comedy. I got to go Hanks. Yeah. I don't think there's any question Hanks. We can't have Cruise as Drevin.

Racehorse Rock Band Wrestler Fantasy Team Name. I couldn't come up with one for this. Do you have one? I got it. My fantasy team name is Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle. I love that joke. That's great. What was the fireworks thing called? I guess that could... The Fenwick Fireworks? Oh, yeah. I don't know what the name of the store is. Something like that. That one could work. All right. This is going to be dumb, but we're going to pick some nits. Okay.

Would there really be this much security for the queen's visit? Let's start there. So true. Why are they so, why do they care about that that much? The queen, we don't need to bring in the army. You're right. There's a lot of that. Who cares? People in America don't care about the royal family. You know, found that out. Harry and Megan. They don't give a shit. Yeah. In the eighties, they really cared a lot about like princess Diana and all that. So I think this is maybe an extension of that. Okay. What do you have for pick and nets? Cause I have a few more.

I got some baseball stuff. I hate to do this. Um, the leadoff hitter comes up. He doesn't swing on three straight strikes right down the middle. It's ridiculous. I'm sorry to do it to naked gun. You're swinging at one of those. You're the leadoff hitter. It was very early OBP. They hadn't really figured out. Yeah. I mean, you gotta put the bat on it. What's an own to count. Um,

Reggie Jackson wears a watch during a baseball game. Was that a thing that was done in the eighties? I am trying to like, who is he? Reggie Roby. I don't remember if baseball players in the eighties were wearing watches. Do you, I don't think they were. It's it jumped out. It's a good one. The giant boobs on the side of the highway, which is an amazing site gag. I'm going to get really deep into it. It's actually South of orange County on the five freeway South. It's not anywhere close to Los Angeles. They never would have seen that way back from the airport. Yeah.

But I love that joke. Everything I see makes me think of her. What do you got? I just don't know why there would be toxic waste in a meatpacking factory. It's interesting you say that, Bill. I've picked up something. I didn't get this joke my whole childhood. So that guy goes in the toxic waste and he dies, right? And his hand's coming out. Yeah, and the ring shows up later. Yeah, the callback. I didn't know that as a kid. That's a funny joke.

I think Frank loses his job after he kills five actors in a street performance of Julius Caesar. Good actors. I think that's it. I think they take the badge. I think this becomes one of the big LA police scandals of the 80s. Five Julius Caesar actors have been murdered.

That's it for Frank. He shot all of them and killed them all. They're all dead. And it's just, listen, he thought they were stabbing someone. I shoot the bastards. That's my policy. And then Angel Stadium morphing into Dodger Stadium. I just got to flag it.

Why are the Mariners fighting the Angels? That doesn't make sense. So Frank tackles Reggie Jackson, so the Angels want to kick the shit out of Frank. What do the Mariners have to do with it? Why are they fighting the Angels? They have no part in this fight at all. It's a great question. It's a great question. I don't have an answer. I think they just wanted a baseball fight. Yeah. Sequel, prequel, prestige, TV, all, black cast, or untouchable? I would go with untouchable.

Is this movie better than Wayne Jenkins, Danny Trejo, Sam Jackson, JT Walsh, Byron Mayo, Harling Mays, evil laughing Ramon Raymond, or Philip Baker Hall? You could have worked Sam Jackson into this movie pretty nicely. Where you got him? How about his pap smear? Pap smear comes in. All right. He comes in. He spruces up pap smear. I also think, could he have been the George Kennedy part? Hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. He takes the, uh, he takes that dart to the neck. He's dead. Why? Could he have been the guy at pier 32 that Frank negotiates with? I don't know. It's like Sam could have been in there. That would have been good. I like getting salmon. Who do you have for just one Oscar? Who gets it? The writers, I guess. Yeah. I had the writers. It's so dense. So many jokes. I'll give the writers.

I had two unanswerables and I inadvertently did both of them. Did this movie predict a future of too many announcers and pregame hosts and then the Mount Rushmore for national anthems? Did you have any?

What happens to the Mariners-Angels game? Oh, great one. Let's get into that. So obviously they stopped the game. Like one of the players had a gun. He tried to kill the queen. Like the game is not ending. It's the middle of the seventh. The home team is up. Did they just win? But then bigger than that, Bill, is that they will find out afterwards that the whole game was umpired by a policeman. Yeah.

So the whole game is invalid. And I think they just have to wipe it from the record. I don't know if they make it up, but it's just, it's not a real game. It can't go on the stand. It's complete. Also Nordberg's dead. Cause Nordberg just careened off the second balcony. Yeah, Nordberg's going to die. Another cop died. You have a dead cop on the bottom. Yeah. So I'm thinking like 1981 was the George Brett Pintar game. Yeah.

And they ended up going back and redoing it. Maybe they redo this like a couple months later, but I think it's a huge sports center topic. Like definitely their leading sports center that night. What do we do about this? Angels Mariners game. This is crazy. The queen, an attempted assassination. We have a dead LA cop.

a dead villain who got steamrolled and run over by a marching band. I think they're stopping the game at that point. And it's funny because they think that it's actually an opera singer who was umping the big game. I think it's Enrico Palazzo come to find out is actually a police officer. So they stopped the game. I mean, they stopped the game between the, uh, before the, uh, the giants A's earthquake world series game that stopped last. I mean, a couple of years ago, they stopped the DeMar Hamlin game and never made it up, but that was football. So I think they just wipe it completely out.

I'm glad you brought up Enrico Palazzo because that's probably an answerable too. What are his next five years look like? Does he do like Donahue and Jerry Springer? Does he just kind of move into that world where he's just dining on daytime talk shows? Because that was the era.

There'd be no internet with which to clarify. Cause if there was internet, he'd go on his phone. I am Enrico Palazzo. That's not, so he, people think he's the guy. He probably sues Los Angeles police, right? And the angels, everybody. Yeah. Yeah. For, for like hurting his career. It's actually, he probably wins that lawsuit. They probably have to pay him off.

Best double feature choice. It's you could go airplane or you could go naked gun two and a half. I'd probably go naked gun two and a half. Cause when I finished this, I was like, you know what? I would also watch naked two and a half right now.

You were saying the same thing about the Bad News Bears breaking training, like when the Netflix thing says the next movie. I'm going to zag, though. My double feature choice is Platoon. I want to do the full contrast. This is what I do, Bill. This is what you do. You watch the naked gun, and then you stop it right at the music video. You watch all of Platoon, and then you resume the naked gun with them walking out of theater. That's what I'm doing. That's a great one.

Uh-huh. Indian Red's Awad Ney Award would happen the next day. How long do Frank and Jane last? I guess we know from the sequels. Yeah, I mean, they last. They're going to get married, and they're in the sequels and everything. I have an Indian Red's Awad Ney Award list.

What happens next day? I think Reggie Jackson's in jail, right? Like he's definitely handcuffed and then put in prison because his excuse is like that he was hypnotized via his watch or something. Yeah. I think he's in big trouble. If only there was some high-powered attorneys. Robert Kardashian becomes his lawyer. Yeah, yeah. They need Johnny Cochran like immediately. They need all those guys. And Cochran will get him off and he'll say like if he's hypnotized, you must sympathize. And like he'll get him out of jail immediately. He'd be fine.

I almost put this in Picking Nitsch, but it's so stupid that you can't. I like it already. The signal getting sent out to like, must kill the queen, must kill Nordberg. But then when somebody steps on Ludwig's whatever watch and then sends a signal to Priscilla Presley, must kill Frank Trebin. Just how did those signals work? Was there...

And it was run over by a steamroller already. I don't think it's functioning. Come on. Come on, guys. How many did they have to when they were making the whatever to the program to send the orders out?

Did they, could you put any name in there? Did they start out with five names? Did he have to call the person like, Hey, can you put in Frank Drebin as a signal? Did they have to add people? Did it start out with the queen? He had someone writing code on like a Commodore 64 computer back then. Yeah. It's tough. And they have to get it in their watch too. Yeah. It's more than an epic. Which piece of memorabilia would you want from this movie? Other than the cufflinks.

Well, shoot to shoot. Who did you, who'd you want to get? D'Angelo Williams? D'Angelo Williams. I just to protect myself. I would think it'd be really fun to have those. Like if in your twenties at a wedding and you're wearing your stupid rented tuxedo, but you had the cuff link starts and you could just blast one of your friends, knock them out for three minutes. Hey Keith. And Keith's on the floor for three minutes. I want the cuff link shooter. That's great. I would want Reggie's angels Jersey game. Warren. It's awesome.

Coach Finstock will wear a best life lesson. You take a chance getting up in the morning, cross the street or sticking your face in a fan. Keep that one. Keep that one. And then who won the movie? You could go with the writers. You go with Leslie Nielsen.

I mean, listen, Leslie Nielsen was working. No, Leslie Nielsen was working for 40 years showing up in The Love Boat, and now he's a major movie star on the sides of buses in New York City. It's Leslie Nielsen, and he got two sequels out of it, God bless him, and then some terrible spoof movies. I got to go with Leslie. I love that man. I love him. I agree. All right. The moment is here. I'm a little nervous. Come on, Craig. Born in...

Eight years after this movie came out. Six. No idea where this is going. Tell us, Craig, what'd you think? So I, on my end, during, while you guys were recording, I obviously have my mic on and I'm recording myself the entire time in case I chime in. And I usually mute myself for most of it, if I'm coughing or whatever. If I didn't mute myself for this entire conversation, you would just hear me laughing for like the last 80 minutes. Oh, good. This movie is right up my alley. I love Naked Gun. I...

I actually saw it for the first time, like a month ago, I was on vacation. I was, I was on a plane. I had never seen it. And I was like, I got to watch naked gun. Absolutely loved it. Watch it again. Last night. Loved it again. I grew up. My dad showed me airplane when I was a kid and I loved it. And I don't know why I never transitioned to watch naked gun. Um,

I don't know what this humor is. I don't know if it's called like dad humor with these kind of cheesy jokes. It's so watchable. The exaggerated physical comedy is like right up my alley. I fucking love these movies. Him peeing with the hot mic and his hands are on the wall and he's shaking back and forth. It's like dancing. Oh God.

I, uh, yeah, I actually think, you know, I was trying to think about whether or not I'm unique for somebody my age, or if this would actually just work for a lot of people my age. And, you know, this movie, the joke density is so high. I mean, there's like 10 jokes a minute for an hour and 20 minutes.

And I'm like, maybe this has actually come back around and this is perfect for young people. It's practically a TikTok as a movie. I mean, it's just silly, quick, physical comedy bits. I mean, a lot of like TikTok humor and social media humor is kind of stupid stuff like this. But I know this is obviously very smart, but I actually think this might play well now for somebody who's 25 years old. I mean, you barely have time to look down at your phone. This movie moves so quickly and it's so funny.

I'm welling up. This is fucking emotional. Jesus. This is a beautiful moment. I didn't realize this was going to be such a great moment. I love you, Craig Horvath. As he's talking, it makes me think like, you asked why they don't make movies like, like why this doesn't exist anymore. But,

I guess Austin Powers was like the 2.0 version of this, right? But then when you think about Anchorman and some of the stuff from those movies and Step Brothers, that's like the 3.0 version because a lot of the stuff we love about those movies are the little dumb moments like that, right? Well, I think...

I think Austin Powers is like the... And Scary Movie, I think, had... There were some good Scary Movies for a bit, and then it got bad. And then it got into like Epic Movie and Date Movie and Meet the Spartans. I don't know if you remember all those. But I think it transitioned into improv comedy. Anchorman was like half...

Naked Gun a little bit and then it was half improv. And then once you got into the Apatow era, it was just like these longer improv scenes. This movie is so written and so tight and I think that got lost in the early to mid aughts and it became a little bit longer and it was a lot more like character improvisation. Yeah, that's a good point because they, in the research, they said that the script was like airtight, don't fuck around, deliver the lines exactly like it's a real movie. And I think

I think that's why the physical comedy is a huge part of it because the physical comedy, that stuff is so tight and written, right? It's like stage acting. It's like he needs to back up, OJ needs to hit his head here and then the paint here. The script I think has to be so much tighter for a movie like this. And when you read about it, the stuff that they didn't include, there's a lot of extra scenes that would show up on USA sometimes.

And they did this whole musical montage. Like there's something about Mary style during the credits that they're like, no, cut it. End with the OJ joke. And when you read about the stuff that they cut out, like, it sounds funny when Frank is on that long walk where it ends with like, where the hell was I? He walks through like a men's shower room at one point when he's in Ludwig's office, there's a bearskin rug. I'm like, that stuff sounds good. And they still were like, who cares?

Get it out, get it in 80 minutes. I think Craig, your point is perfect. It's an attention span thing. I feel like young people, the movies they don't like these days, too slow, too slow. Give me the action. This is nonstop dopamine for 80 minutes. Like it's constantly throwing you kelp and it works.

Yeah, I adore these movies. They make me laugh so much. Good. This is the rewatchable highlight of the year. Craig, like a naked gun. You know, I was, I wanted to ask you guys this. I thought about this while you were talking. Is Leslie Nielsen the oldest person to be the lead in a comedy and be beloved by young people? Like in the moment, 62 years old, leading the comedy. When does that happen?

Well, they make those ridiculous movies with old people like Bucket List and when it's like Morgan Freeman and Space Cowboys and stuff. Those are deliberately doing senior citizens. That's not what this is doing. That's a good point. Yeah, they're actually, he's playing probably a little younger than he is, right? Yeah. He's playing like he's early 50s, but he's actually older than that. I said, Craig, I said I was nervous because I just thought you'd be like,

cringe. I don't get it. It's dumb. I thought it was going to be cringe, cringe, cringe. I don't want to insult you, but I see a lot of people just constantly say that online about things they don't get. And I'm so proud. I'm thrilled. I don't know. There's a fine line between something that seems cheesy and unfunny and cheesy and funny. And for some reason, all of this humor to me really works. I'd be really curious to see what other people in their 20s and 30s think about this. But I actually texted a group of my friends during this recording, and they all love Naked Gun and Airplane. So I don't know. Good.

Oh, good. Well, it has aged well from a cable just being shown all the time standpoint. So there you go. All right. This podcast was produced by Craig Horlbeck. Kyle Brandt, I don't know what our next movie is, but it's going to be something this summer because we need now. I mean, guys, by the way, we're taping this on a Monday with the same day it's coming up. But yesterday was officially 10 Sundays until football. Here we go. Let's go. I'm ready.

I'm hitting the point where, and you guys know how much I love basketball, but I actually think I might like the football season more at this point in my life. The news cycle's way better, more interesting. It's way better. I'm just so ready for all of it. I'm so ready. I'm cutting way back on the podcast this month because July, and part of it is because I just want to throw myself into the football prep. Mm-hmm.

And I'm just, I'm so excited. Like who's excited to do homework ever at any point in your life? Never. And I'm like, I can't wait to fucking dive into everything and really figure out some hardcore football opinions for the season. It's the fucking best. Well, Bill, you've been working really hard like on the NBA draft and all that. I feel like you maybe need like a new flavor. Like that football flavor is going to hit perfectly in the fall.

Yeah, because I was telling my wife, I was like, yeah, I'm cutting back on the pods. I'm finally going to have some time to breathe here. And she's like, you're just going to be reading up on football for like seven straight weeks. I'm like, yeah, well, that's true. But it's not going to be, it's not homework. You just start staring. Well, we got a list and I'm going to be in LA a lot this fall. So we got to get together for the first time, do one of these in the same room.

All right. Thanks to you, Kyle Brandt. Thanks to Craig Horlbeck as well. We're coming back with the rewatchables. We're going to have one near the end of the week, right around July 4th, because we are burning off these rewatchables 1999 episodes. And since we just did Naked Gun, I mean, we got to do Austin Powers 2, The Spy Who Shagged Me, a classic. And, you know, the little DNA from Naked Gun in that one. So that's going to run at the end of the week. Enjoy July 4th. I'll see you next time on the rewatchables.