'The Longest Yard’ (1974) With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Van Lathan
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The Rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where you can find Higher Learning. Yes, yes. With Van Lathan. You can find the Midnight Boys and the Ringerverse Podcast. Pew, pew. You can find The Watch. Yeah. With Chris Ryan. That's right. That's still happening. Can I do one plug? Yeah. June 18th. Yeah. I'm going to be on stage with the group chat guys. They're doing a show at the El Rey. Ringer, theringer.com slash events.

To get tickets at the El Rey, June 18th. I thought you were going to plug the House of Dragon, whatever we're doing. That's what I thought you were going to do, too. I was going to do that as well. I'm also going to be on House of R with Mal and Joanna doing House of the Dragon recaps. And still doing the watch. Maybe the rewatch. So cranky. Even though there's no TV left anymore? It's a great month coming up. It is? It's one of the best months ever. The Bears coming back. The boys. The boys. Presumed innocent.

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Speaking of respect. The re-parted. Speaking of respect, you can respect our YouTube channel, Ringer Movies. Please subscribe. Every Rewatchables podcast we do is on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel. Right now, we are in the middle of Sports Movie Month. The first great sports movie ever. The Longest Yard. Next. From the producer of The Godfather.

From the director of The Dirty Dozen. From the first second to the last, The Mean Machine means it. Burt Reynolds. Eddie Albert. In the wildest yet. The Longest Yard. All right, guys. 50-year anniversary coming up of the first great sports movie ever made.

There's been great sports movies from the olden days. I don't think they've held up. This is the first great modern sports movie, The Longest Yard with Burt Reynolds. I don't know how many times I've seen it. I know all the beats. I could have done this podcast blind. I was going to ask, I know you're really getting into pyramids. Yeah. We should do the I Could Do This Blind Pyramid. Oh, man. What's your number one? Heat's too long. I feel like I need notes. You need to refresh it. I need notes to do heat. I think I could do Red October Blind.

I could do the Matrix blind easy. I could do 48 hours in Halloween blind. Yeah. Yeah. Those are probably my two. Okay.

Because those are also pretty short movies. I think it has to be like a 90-minute movie where you can... I was just about to say, like, some of the Star Wars movies, I know I could do them, but they're so long. Yeah, they're dense. I don't think I would want to. Yeah. One of the great things about this movie is it's basically two movies. There's a movie, and then there's just this massive 47-minute football game, which I've watched, I don't know how many times in my life, but I know every beat of the game. I've studied it. I've nitpicked it to death. It's going to be exciting to talk about some of those nitpicks with you guys. Yeah.

But this movie was on all the time. It was always the edited for cable version. And then there was a weird paint and scan thing because of the way they shot it. So it was hard to follow for a while. And then when the TVs got bigger, the movie came back to life with DVD and Blu-ray. But what's the first thing that jumps out for you, CR? Um...

I think probably Burt Reynolds is the thing that you take away from this. And like, you know, I think for people probably a little younger than me, Burt Reynolds is like a caricature who kind of has this revival with Boogie Nights. But for the most part is this like kind of winking faded star. But this is like watching this is Harrison Ford. Yeah. This is watching like a full fledged movie star in in like entering his prime.

Kind of like the same thing, Burt. Like when I'm getting older and I'm starting to like pay attention to stuff, Burt Reynolds is in his like Lonnie Anderson era. Yeah. Right? And so you're watching him like that as an older star in between having been this gigantic movie star and going to be the elder statesman that he would be. And when you see him in this...

he's so young, he's so virile, he's so funny. You're like, oh my God, this guy was a big, huge deal. And it like opens, opens you up to what a big, huge film star he was like in the sixties and the seventies. Like a five tool guy where you're like, man, you can do comedy and you can convincingly play football. And yeah,

It can seem like all the guys like you and all the women want to be with you. Like that's, this is pretty wild. And he was on the tonight show a lot. And he was one of the great tonight show guests from the tonight show. You'd have 20, 25 million people watching the night show on a Tuesday night. And he was always one of the best guests ever.

And then he just started, once he hit that smoking the bandit phase, he's just put out two movies a year and there weren't even really premises. Cannonball Run is barely a movie. He's just driving cross country. Cracking jokes. I saw all those movies in the theater, starting over, the end, paternity, smoking the bandit one and two, like on and on and on. But this is, we did Deliverance a while ago.

And that was the one that put him on the map as a star. This was the movie I think that cemented it. You watch White Lightning on Tubi? Yeah, I was just like messing around. You were before this? Doing a Burt Reynolds run on Tubi, that and Gator, a couple of the other like kind of B movies that he's he's hamming it up in from the 70s. Yeah, they're all actually pretty entertaining, though, man.

When you were on Tubi, did you watch a movie called The Rapper That Got Shot in the Foot? No. Was Burt Reynolds in that? He wasn't. It's a Tubi telling of the Meg, the stallion.

versus Tory Lanez situation. Using their names? That's on Tubi? It's called The Rapper That Got Shot in the Foot. That sounds amazing. Do you think we should start a pod called What's on Tubi? Gosh, because to know that you watch something on Tubi is such a ringing endorsement for Tubi itself. I watch Tubi a lot. I said this

You didn't even respond. I watched Coffee with Pam Greer on Tubi on Friday. And then it recommended all these ones in the bottom. If you like Coffee. And it was like just seven movies I wanted to watch. I'm like, I'll be back, Tubi. Don't count me out. Tubi's got a lot of my spaghetti westerns too. Where I'm just like, oh, there's another spaghetti western I haven't seen. I'm going to watch this guy. Well, because I watch Rolling Thunder. Yeah.

Were you scouting it or did you just come up? Combo, but then Linda Haynes is so good and I was like, what else is she in? I was looking at her IMDb and she was like, she's in coffee and all of a sudden I'm watching coffee on Tubi. That's a hell of a movie right there, my friend. It's a what's it's the worst. That's a hell of a movie. Stars Black. I saw it. That's a hell of a movie right there, my friend. Anyway, back to Bert.

There's a stardom from this era. We talked about it with Newman and Slapshot. Redford had it. Bird had it. I don't know. It's hard for me to even think of guys from this era who could have done all the things he does. It's charisma. It's the charisma. It's a charisma swagger. You can totally believe that this

assistant of the warden would give the game tapes to them to have sex with them for 15 minutes. You could believe that he could somehow navigate this prison world and be okay, that he'd be the coolest guy in the prison, that he's a former quarterback, that he could escape from the cops. You just got to pull off so many, like, who is this now? It's basically Brad Pitt 10 years ago, but I don't even think it's Brad Pitt. You know, the thing is, is that he's acting in the movie, but the charisma is so battering

That, like, every scene, you feel like that's actually the guy. Right. That part of it, I think, I can't think of anyone who embodies that as much anymore like Burt Reynolds did. I think Denzel had it in the late 90s, early 2000s. There's... You know, like, but even that... He's an actor, though. True. He would have been playing the charisma. There's something about...

Even the construction of scenes from that era, though, too, of what is being asked of the actor, what they have to do. And we talked about this with Slapshot and Goldman talking about Newman and these guys and how they just didn't need to do much. And there's a scene in Longest Yard we're going to obviously talk about where Newman goes and all the black prisoners are playing basketball. And Newman just basically walks up to the sideline and stands there for five minutes and then walks away. Reynolds. Reynolds.

He doesn't do anything. Yeah. He literally stands there. The guys say a few things to him. Granny's like, I got this. He's got a little small smirk on his face. He's got a little smirk. Yeah. You're just like, this is, I'm magnetized by what's happening here. Yeah. There's nothing is said that doesn't need to be said. And then he walks away and you're like, how is that a gripping scene in a movie? Yeah.

And it is. And all movies now would probably work so hard to explain things or to justify things or the actor would need to get his home run line before he walked off. Nope. He's just like, I'm just going to stand here. I'm going to fuck off. Some years ago, TNT did these commercials.

And these commercials, when it was TNT, We Know Drama, maybe it was USA, I can't remember. Yeah, TNT. But they would do these commercials where they have these small little snippets with actors, right? Most of the time, it was kind of stupid. But there was one with Patrick Stewart where Patrick Stewart goes like, screen presence can't be taught. You go to acting school to learn how to mimic it

to like pass it off but it can't really be taught there's one scene in here with with the Native American guy Sonia where he says don't make an ethnic joke and then when when the guy says how Burt Reynolds literally just gives you 30% of a smile yeah it's hysterical he's just a

A movie star. Yeah, he thinks about it and he's like, we'll work on it. He's just hysterical. He's a movie star. And in that same way, he can be funny. He can be the hero. He can be the sex symbol. He can be all of that. That type of five tool player is a movie star. But he had a whiff of darkness to him that I always think that came from real life too. I mean, there's some tough Bart Reynolds stuff, which I think is the difference between him and somebody like Clooney.

Where if you remade The Longest Yard with Clooney at his charisma peak in the late 90s. They did make The Longest Yard, yeah. Well, but you know what I mean. Like Clooney, you wouldn't buy in the scene in the beginning, which is a pretty horrible scene with the girl. It's disgusting, yeah. But Burt, you're like, ah. But Clooney's also very serious. Like, you know, Clooney's popping up

there's a difference, but there's an actor that wants to drink brandy and be taken as a guy who kind of just wants to be out there as just a dude, free-willing. And then at a certain point, just to be honest with you, there was a self-importance that most of these guys had to have. Like, Clooney breaks the movie and then he goes to Darfur. And it just, it changes the way you look at him a little bit. And you don't expect him to... Yeah, that's a good point. But you know how you also hear stories about guys from that era up through Harrison Ford where it's like,

acting is like this thing they fell into and it's like the fifth or sixth thing they wanted to do. Whereas like, yeah, Burt was like a failed college football player. A lot of performers today, you're like, I can tell this is the thing that you've wanted for your whole life.

And like you are going to do everything you can to keep your grip on it. Like when you watch Bradley Cooper, I like a lot of Bradley Cooper movies, but like he, he looks like he's holding the wheel really tight. Right. In his movies and all. And in his like interviews and stuff, Burrell's could not give a shit. But like Burrell's torpedoes more movies than he helps. Yeah. Because he's just like, eh, like put the camera there. I'm going to smile. Make the picture. I'm going to improv three lines and you're going to, I'm not going to give you what you need. How about that?

Well, that's why it went so badly for him starting in the late 80s because he was such a charisma actor. But when he got old and he also had that wig. Yeah. And he just kind of lost it for 10 years. And then it came back miraculously in Boogie Nights, a movie that he ended up hating. Because he embraced. He embraced his age. Yeah. But he still had that sparkle to him and that little wink. And, you know, you think about some of the funniest, best scenes in that movie, like him in the hot tub when Dirk's.

I thought of my name. It's going to be Dirk Diggler. That's a great name. But if that's the Jack Horner movie, it doesn't work as well. Right. He's got to carry 85% of those scenes. At this stage of his life, he isn't. Well, there's another piece with him. First of all, Adam Sandler remakes this movie. And as you guys know, I'm a huge Adam Sandler fan. Burt's funnier than Adam Sandler, who's one of the best movie comedians of the past 50 years. The quarterback piece with Burt is...

I think he's the most believable sports movie actor that we've had. Of any real actor who got thrown into a movie like this, I think he's the most convincing. I think he's the best. Wesley Snipes? No. Dwayne from Above the Rim? He was a real basketball player. I'm talking about Star. Oh, Star. Star, because there are a lot of other guys. Really, the competition would probably be Costner.

who seem really comfortable playing baseball, especially in For Love of the Game. Yeah. You know, when Kostner's taking batting practice in Bull Durham. Yeah. But even when he's trying to throw a no-hitter in For Love of the Game, it's pretty convincing. Denzel was good in the basketball scenes, and he got game. But Burt really feels like...

Like, you could just plug him into, like, the WFL that year and he could have, like, maybe gone eight and six. I don't want to get ahead of us, but the reason that you can do a 47-minute football game in a movie is because it looks like all those guys are playing football. Which they were. And Burt Reynolds in that last scene, you're like, damn, that's Burt Reynolds, like, running an option. He's an actual football player as well. And so that... And he not just...

Like, Hove has this line where he says, I walk like a ball player. And you kind of know what he means when you have the swagger and the body control and all of that stuff. Yeah. And he carries himself. He looks like an athlete, like a functional athlete. And he had a gun. Like, they have, there's at least one, what's he throw, like a 50-yard touchdown in the first half? Yeah.

And it's Burt Reynolds and he's throwing it and it's a 55-yard Drake May rope. That's how I work Drake May. Drake May, yeah. You're so into it. He reminded me of Drake May in that scene. But it's obvious. And that's the one thing. It's obvious when an actor got with some specialist and learned how to dribble a ball or throw a ball or do something six months before the movie started. Yeah. And when you've been doing it and there's muscle memory and you know how to run and turn and do all that stuff, it's like you can't fake that.

It's like Chris when you see him on the court. You just know. Chris, you who? Not anymore. That's it's ninth grade. Reynolds. Reynolds. It's funny. We did Newman and Slapshot two weeks ago. Yeah. And from an A-plus Lister charisma standpoint, this is on par with that. For sure. But then you throw in the athletic part. It's way up there. For me, it's I think the best athletic performance ever.

by a real famous actor in a sports movie. I would put it against anything. The premise of this movie is pretty amazing too. I'll describe it like this. Disgraced QB gets sent to prison. The warden forces him to organize a game between the convicts and the guards and the QB ultimately finds redemption by not selling out for the first time in his life. Yeah.

It's fucking strong, man. That's one of those where you're like, boom, let's make it. Get the cameras. Go. And I love it when a movie's premise makes the film...

basically sap proof or sentimentality proof. Like it's too dark for this to be a feel good movie, but it feels awesome. You know, like, cause it starts from a really dark place. He almost sells like guys get hurt. People die. Like it's a dark movie, but you come out of this and you're like, yeah, man, this is, this is how I think people feel when they watch miracle. You know, like that's how I feel when the mean machine wins. You know, it was, it's,

I watched the remake as well. I know we're probably not gonna spend too much time on it, but the reason why it doesn't really work, it's fun, but the reason why it doesn't really work is because it's not edgy enough. It doesn't take itself seriously enough. Yeah. If not for Burt Reynolds' performance in this movie, this movie is a fucking drag.

Like you have this guy who's thrown his life away twice. He threw it away again and then he gets it back, but he's got to be in jail. He's getting abused. He's really at the end of his rope and this game kind of helps him find himself a little bit. But if not for someone who is not taking the whole thing that seriously and is joking the whole time with like a wink and a nod, the movie is actually very, very serious. Yeah.

So from a big picture, because it's turned into 70 sports movie month, Chris. Okay. Because we've done Slapshot and we've done Breaking Away and now we're doing Longest Yard. No, just to put in perspective all the sports movies that led up to this, it was a lot of boxing movies. It was a lot of baseball movies. It was a lot of autobiographical movies and they were all done a certain way.

And what's the Lou Gehrig movie is probably the biggest one, right? Yeah. And you know, bang the drum slowly. Brian song, um, fear strikes out. Brian song is before this. Yeah. Oh, wow. Um, a shitload of, uh, different boxing movies. I mean, there's a million of them.

But this movie was a real movie that happened to be about sports. Yeah. It tried to be funny, which no sports movie had ever been like, oh, let's also try to be funny as we're doing this. It's got a real fucking director too, Robert Aldrich. It's got a real director. Yeah. And it's got realistic sports. And so it was groundbreaking in all these different ways that I think

Got copied immediately. Yeah. Because after this, you have Rocky. You even have like Rollerball. But you have all those basketball movies that come after that. You have Slapshot. It just...

It made it a serious event to do a sports movie like this and be like, all right, if we're going to do this, we do this, this, and this. It has to look right. And I think when you think about how long the football game is, it's kind of insane. Like nobody would have. Oh my God. It's literally 47 minutes. Yeah. Nobody would ever do it that way now, but that's how they approached it. And yeah,

You know, some of the stuff Aldridge does with like that, that split screen, the split screen, multi-screen stuff is so cool. I don't know enough about the history of sports broadcasting. Like,

Does he invent that idea of showing a game in that way? I don't know the answer. It jumped out at me so glaringly when I watch it now. I'm like, is this one of the lasting innovations of this movie? Like, when had that been done before? Or is it an innovation that needs to come back? Because, like, you know, like, you think, like, when somebody's going to win the NBA Finals and they'll just show one thing, they'll go to the night. Like, maybe we should just have four pictures in the box like that. Yeah, I mean, like, I think that there's...

They'll do split screen on NFL games to be like, here's two angles at the same time, basically, and stuff like that. But using it as a narrative device to build drama and also...

And it's literally like my what's aged the best and my favorite part of this movie is like all the commentary that he's doing subtly by juxtaposing different images together, storytelling that he's doing that he doesn't have to cut away to do a whole other scene with the warden because he can have him in the right hand lower box being like, oh shit, they're trying again. Like it's incredible. And it gives you the feeling and the scope of how many different things are happening in

in the football game at one time because the game is essentially the culmination of all of these different storylines and different characters who have different motivations and wants and needs. Even when the guys fucking get sent back and they're injured. There's so many storylines that are going on in the football game and the game manages to capture all of them. Well, so it has that. It also has some of the funny stuff in this movie.

This movie is just genuinely funny. This is one of the most quoted movies. So my parents showed me this movie way too young. It was one of their favorite movies. And if I ever would fall down or come back from practice with an injury, my dad would literally go, I think he broke his fucking neck. I told you I broke his fucking neck. There's a whole scene about them

showing people how to throw legal elbows and here are the brass knuckles. I don't know. It's just great. There's also slow motion at the end, which I think was pretty revolutionary. Yeah, I think he's taking a lot from Peckinpah and stuff like that where he's using a lot of those techniques, but I don't remember seeing it for a sports movie before that. But I automatically started to see...

other films that I saw. Like when that, when that slow-mo happens at the end, I start thinking of like school ties. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, the scene where, Oh yeah, this movie gets ripped off by everybody. Yeah. I literally started to think, Oh, that's the same shot. He literally points and then he gets the block and he scores is exactly the way David Green scores with fucked up. It's got Matt Damon. It's got the big speech at the end, which has been ripped off ever since they did the thing where they try to make it seem like a real game.

They really staged it out and they only had a couple choreographed plays. Otherwise, it was some freelance stuff and

uh reynolds was just getting hammered at the quarterback like they're fine with it i guess they were fine with the insurance piece of it there's also the funny joke where he's just like the most important thing is that i get protected you know right which is actually probably also true for the set of the movie you can't do anything without me yeah right number one rule protect the quarterback i would be curious to know whether or not like aldrich had seen and what early early nfl films is like because nfl films i think comes along

in the 60s. We have seven Super Bowls at this point. Yeah. So I wonder whether or not there's any influence on the way Sable did stuff over there. You know what's funny? Like you would think more movies would rip off how they shoot the sports.

Where a lot of it's wide. You always know what's going on. You always know where you are. You always know what the score is. And you can see the plays unfolding and everything seems real. And then by the time we get to any given Sunday, it's a lot of like, I think they're compensating for the fact that they can't, Dennis Quaid can't be out there. You know what I mean? Like they have to be more careful steps back, cut away, stunt double cut away, you know, great characters in this movie.

I mean, just some icons. Caretaker. Caretaker, man. Nate Scarborough. Granny. The warden. The warden's sidekick. I mean, down to Unger. Unger. Yeah.

Bernadette Peters as the horny secretary. Just goes on and on. Who's your favorite of all the side characters? Oh, caretaker. Yeah. Awesome character. Awesome character. Great to have the audience member who's going to be asking the question, like, why'd you throw that game? Great narrator of the movie. Good vibe to him. Yeah, great vibe. Like, the guy who's made his peace with his time inside, but yet has...

found a way to be super viable inside where he's an important man. Almost like Red from Shawshank Redemption. Kind of the same dude. Lovable, good-hearted, but I am a convict type of dude. That's wise. Fantastic. My favorite was Granville. Also, the dad from Teen Wolf. I said this before. Yeah.

which when I was a kid and I'm going crazy over Teen Wolf, it was always awesome to see a familiar face. What was the dad from Teen Wolf? And he was in a lot of stuff. James Hampton was the actor, yeah. Yeah, every time you saw him, you were like, longest year of Teen Wolf, that guy. I love Granville. I think he has that key moment in the end where he does the...

I never thought you'd sell us out. You know, it's just like, oh man, now it really hurts. Granville, he was the only one who went out, right? Every, he didn't care that his whole side wasn't going to be in the team. He's like, you know what? I want, give me the free food. I want to play football. And he stuck up for crew and then crew fucking backstabbed him. And it hurts. It hurts like that. He did it to Scarborough and Granville the most. When you watch the movie,

and he starts to throw the game, you're legitimately destroyed. You're like, fuck, no, man. They got through so much to get there. As a narrative thing, like making him throw the game, it works so well. You're so invested by that point. He looks like Mac Jones last year. What was that? You threw that guy by 12 yards. What are you doing? Did the warning get to Mac Jones?

Only one Oscar nomination for best film editing. As we've discussed in previous pods, the 1974 best actor, which had Al Pacino in Godfather Part II, one of the greatest act performances of all time. I gotta give Pacino the nod over Reynolds. Pacino didn't win. Nicholson didn't win for Chinatown.

And Dustin Hoffman got nominated for Lenny. Art Carney won for Harry and Tonto. Unbelievable. Albert Finney. Unbelievable. It's so rough. Every time you say it, it hits me again. And Albert Finney got nominated for Murder of the Orient Express. Like, Chris Legit.

legitimately disgusted when he said that. It's so bad. The Pacino thing is so bad. It's three of four of the best performances of the decade, if not of all time. And it's like, yeah, let's give our Carney an Oscar. It's almost like it split the vote. I could have snuck Reynolds into the Finney spot. $2.9 million budget made $43 million. Massive hit for the time. No Raj on this one. Nope. Siskel though. Siskel liked it. Siskel liked it. Pauline Kael loved it. That's our girl.

She said, quote, Reynolds is perfect in this brutal comic fantasy about a football game between crazily ruthless convicts and crazily ruthless guards. For all its bone-crunching collisions, the picture is almost irresistibly good-natured and funny. I agree, Pauline. Good job. Good job, Pauline. We're going to take a break. A lot of categories to hit. This episode is supported by State Farm.

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I really like the car chase and the arrest. It's a great car chase, especially in Maserati. Carpenter for car chases to come with Reynolds. That's the thing. I have a take on that later. But when he ends up at the bar, why'd you dump the car in the bay? He's like, I couldn't find a good car wash. And does the Burt Reynolds laugh? It's just, but the, I mean, like, it feels like real life people are in danger during the car race. Like he's, there's pedestrians who are like jumping out of the way. And I don't even know if there are extras.

The car chase, because you got to send this guy to jail, right? Yeah. It has to be pretty lit. It has to be pretty lit because you have to look how reckless, and he looks different. He's got the longer hair. He's wearing something. He's been abusive in the whole night. They really do a good job of saying, this is somebody who needs to go. He's a piece of shit. He's a piece of shit. He needed to go sit down for 18 months. Yeah, I mean, in What's Aged to Worst, obviously, is the domestic violence at the beginning, which is such a crazy way to start a movie. Yeah.

But it's also this gamble that pays off because it's like, this guy is legitimately a piece of shit. And within 20 minutes, you're rooting for him to be like, let's get the football game together. It's not unlike the model...

that Aldrich used in The Dirty Dozen, where it's like you basically are going to give redemption to the irredeemable. You're going to take prisoners, you're going to have them basically be like, yeah, I did this, I did that, and then give them something that will give them their grace back. I mean, it is a common theme of movies that we like, though, is somebody's a piece of shit, and then they eventually stop becoming a piece of shit and become our hero for the movie. Yeah. The Warden meets Paul Crews

crew wrecking crew I just like all the all the histrionics in this scene and all the all the chess that's going on but we get the rough low hand of Ruben O'Parcher drove her acting word early with Warden Hayes yeah Warden Hayes won that easy I want you to make that son of a bitch enthusiastic Eddie Albert just dialing it up I'm not being unreasonable am I no sir well then you'll give me the title yes sir good

And I want that man out there. And I want you to make that son of a bitch enthusiastic!

That's a good one. I like the push-up guy trying to fuck with Paul Crew and they have the pour in the dirt. It's got the little guitar twang in the background. The swamp reclamation is such a great location for that too. By the way, that should be the worst part of the movie by far and somehow it's not. Yeah. It's like 10 minutes that should just not work and it completely works for some reason. The warden bullies crew into starting a team. Histories.

I read you like a book, Mr. Crew. He's just like fucking with them. And Bert knows he has it by the balls. First football practice is great. The scene in the library when the guards try to fuck with Granville is just really good. Like that actor, Harry Caesar. Yeah. The way he handles it. And then the other guys watching him, they're like, oh, they're all going to want to be in the team now because they're watching. It's like it backfires.

The how to injure the other team seminar into caretaker drinking with crew. Why'd you shave them points? And then Burt has his Oscar speech. Yeah. I never gave a shit about football or anything else. The only thing I ever cared about is my old man. My old man was blind. Never saw me play. Shit, I've been a professional ever since I was 12 years old. Hustling nickels and dimes, playing pool. I didn't make enough money to take care of him. I figured when I got pro ball, I'd make one big killing. One big one.

i never gave a about football which i think was a full speech right and it's two full speeches because his parents weren't blind he makes that he does the joke story first but there's some sort of truth in there that we're supposed to take something from i like that it's never like a straight up like i'm pouring my heart out here yeah then we get to the game the first half of the game yeah i think i broke his neck there's a lot of good beats we get the wardens chilling

if you don't lose by 21 points i'm pinning caretaker's death on you yeah you could be in this institution until you're old and gray or until you're dead whichever comes first i can promise you that you're gonna lose the game and i want a 21 point spread i can't do that of course you can you've done it before we get crew tank in the second half two picks sixes and a fumbled handoff yeah i mean you've had

Saints quarterbacks do worse than that. That's like a fucking mid-October Saints game. That's Derek Carr special. Derek Carr special. I can think of so many guys I could throw under the bus right now. It's very, very triggering.

I like when he sits on the bench and the people move. Yeah. That's brutal. Yeah. It's like the all-time focus. The all-time, yeah. It's just like, I don't want to be fucking near you. They know he's selling them out, then he fakes the injury the whole night. I put my trust in you. I didn't think you'd sell us out. We get that, and then we get, he's looking around, guys, there's a skating injury, he goes to Pop. Was it worth it? Hey, Pop. Yeah? That time you hit Hazen in the mouth, was it worth it? Was it worth 30 years? Yeah. For me, it was.

Well, give me my goddamn shoe. For me, it was. Well, give me my goddamn helmet. I got to pick. I got to obviously admit to pick with that. We're going to. There's a bunch of picks. Right. And then the big comeback. Nate has the big touchdown and immediately gets crippled by a guard. Hey, Paul, you got to do it.

We get a reverse touchdown. We get crew just kills. Badansky just throws the football against his balls multiple times. Unbelievable. Love it. We get a long pass for the fourth and 42 first down where he pushes off, which I think it's a Drew Pearson, like a year before the Drew Pearson play. We get the tackle eligible for first and golf. 40 seconds. Crew crew manipulating the rules. Just like Belichick. Yeah. Yeah.

Then we get three stops. And what's cool is you know where you are in the game the whole time. Now it's fourth down, seven seconds left. Crew's torn jerseys, just walking to the bench. Where's he going? So awesome. And then he does the speech. And it's one of the great speeches ever. We'll just play it. I'm not going to do it. This has been one fantastic showing. We've come too far together to stop now. For Granny and Nate, for Caretaker. Let's do it. Ah!

I like when he goes in fourth down and he quiets the crowd. Oh, yeah. Really quiet the crowd. Just like little things like that is what makes this such a great movie. But it's so much, like a lot of times when you watch older sports movies, you're watching films about sports that aren't played

how they're played today. You can't really recognize the sport today. And this, everything looks and feels the same. The hushing of the crowd. It's modern. It's modern being SoFi Stadium. Absolutely. The winning touchdown is unbelievable. The history. And the cut.

Like he breaks the plane and then frees and then cuts to like five different angles of what's going on. I like when he goes around. There's a great crack back block. The borderline penalty. Yeah. I got a couple of notes about. Borderline penalty. I don't think Jeff Stoutland teaches it that way anymore. He comes down. He looks. And then they have that shot of him from the end zone as he's like getting his footing to make the run. And then they cut to another part.

And he's just like, fuck it. And basically, it seems like he vaults off the guy who's on the ground. He goes over and rolls in the three people. But it's really well done. And then it seems like he's going to get shot and killed. But he doesn't. The first time I saw the movie, I was certain he was about to be shot. Yeah. Because the movie was also a 1970s movies. It wouldn't be out of the question. Yeah. The movie's like so in a way, the movie's the game is the hope of the movie. But there's a lot about the movie that's fucked up.

Somebody's already been killed that you really love, and all these guys are in jail. And even when you score through the thing, talking about who's playing in the game, just talk about, so I'm like, oh, they're going to shoot him, and then the movie's going to end like that. And even when I saw the remake, I was like, oh, did they change it and kill the guy? But you get the ball and it comes back. Game ball. Game ball. Stick this in your trophy case as the last line of a movie is amazing. The warden just sitting down with the football.

I would say for most rewatchable, basically from the moment the warden says, you're going to throw this game to the second half all the way through. I don't even know how you separate it. Yeah. I mean, I, I would definitely listen to an argument for the last 45 minutes of this movie being the most rewatchable scene. Cause if it's, this is the, if the game is on when this is on cable, if the game has started, I am like, which is the whole premise of this podcast. If you're flipping channels and he's in the shower with the warden,

And the word is like, I want a 21 point spread. I'm like, well, fuck. We're done. 25 minutes of my day. And I was worried about that. I was worried about when I watched the movie again, because I hadn't seen it in a while. I was worried about, am I going to be interested? The game is so good. Yeah. I was worried, am I going to give a fuck about everything leading up to the game? And I did, but the game is still...

so good. I would almost take individual parts of the game. My favorite part of the game is when he turns into fucking Michael Vick to get the guys back on the track. I'll take the punishment. Right. I just gotta run and gain every single yard. He's doing the Cam Newton QB draw. Exactly. The whole thing. But once you get to that point, you have to finish it out. It's amazing. It's like...

I think that the game is the most rewatchable scene. And if pretty much any point in the game, you know, if you check flips of the channel and the game is on, you're like, I'm watching the rest of this. My favorite part of the game are actually the huddles. Oh yeah. Cause I think you could actually take all the huddles and

and clip them together. And it's the story of the game. Yeah. Based on their like, fuck, these guys are really kicking our asses or like, Hey, we're kicking their asses to like, goddamn fuck you crew. And then now we believe in you again. And that goes to your point about like when he walks back over to the sideline and they're like, what's, what's crew doing? What's he doing? So great. My son came down halfway through the movie. So he was studying for a history exam. Oh, Ben, it took a break. Look at Ben. It's final exam week. And, uh,

He's like, "What are you watching?" Longest yard. He'd only seen some of the Sandler one. He was taking a break, so he started watching it. He stayed for the last hour.

And as you know, Ben will just immediately leave or anything that's old, he's out. He watched the whole thing and a couple times he was like, Dad, this is good. Just give me a couple of those. And then the winning touchdown, he was like, Dad, that was good. That was really cool. He was really into it. I was like... They still in school. It's June 3rd. The only other scene I would throw into rewatchable scenes is the How to Inflict Pain montage.

of them going through and like yeah here's the this guy's femur you know and like well we haven't even talked we have a great training montage by the way where they're giving everybody the scores yes yeah seven and the children is the agility score like even that you know and samson knocks the the heavy bag the whole heavy bag is that a 10. the introduction of all the this motley crew of characters and you got the the

big that that guy was around what's that actor's name he was around forever playing a heavy in all of those movies like the guys like fucking yeah yeah yeah moonraker yeah yeah he's been around for a lot so like that whole part of the movie is literally just that they do the same scenes in dirty dozen

but it's war instead of football. So he's like, he's going around to recruit all the guys. Then he's got it. They're a ragtag bunch when he first starts training them. Then they get really good. Then they have all these attributes. You have to find a way to get them to work together all night. I had that in what stage is the best. The premises like this where the guy has to recruit the people for his team, his band, his gang.

And it's each one. And it's like, we got to get them. And it's usually our hero with one other person. See, that's why. See, Bill, you like stuff like that. Yeah. I got a movie for you, Bill. Avengers Endgame. You like that? You like people being recruited to go do something important? I got a movie for you. Maybe this summer. Yeah, thank you. Please. What's aged the best? Sports movies with giant stars as the leads? Just miss this era? We don't really have giant stars like this anymore. CR, this one's for you.

an opening shot of a 70s movie that's an ashtray with 11 smoked cigarettes in it. That is what she did. And a radio telecast of a college football game. I'm pretty sure you're in from that point on. Is that a 2B category for you? This is coming out a couple of weeks later, but the Women's U.S. Open Golf Tournament was this weekend. Did you see the...

I think she's British. The British lady who smokes heaters on the course. I did not see that. Charlie Hull. And she smokes cigs on the course. That's a lot. I didn't know either. She was like, I'm trying to quit vaping is the reason why she's smoking cigarettes. But I was like, this is like... Yeah, she should be the biggest star in women's golf. She's like my Caitlin Clark. They showed the anniversary of some...

84 finals game of Jack Nicholson courtside and they show him the CBS broadcast before the game he's courtside having a heater on the court I was like the 80s were the best I have more what's aged the best but what do you have? The split screen I think actually it's something that in other people's hands or it's very easy to imagine a way in which that somehow takes you out of it and it doesn't it actually is so cool to get and I think maybe more movies should do this

55 minutes into the movie or an hour into the movie and then a whole new way of seeing the movie starts happening because you feel yourself snap to attention like whoa we're gonna make this is what this is gonna they're gonna shoot like this this is awesome so I I like really responded to that that's why I do feel like sports television could add that

I think they could add that with football and basketball because we'll have the TVs. I mean, it's just probably so hard to direct live. Yeah, because you got to be throwing back to the truck and all that stuff. Let's test ourselves a little bit. You have anyone say your best fan? The car chase. Like when I watched, when I watched the car chase,

I'm like, yo, it seemed like a, and obviously there, the 70s is filled with, is the 70s the best? Yeah, it's car chase. It's car chase apex mountain. Yeah. So it's filled with, but when I look at the car chase, that feels like the car chases that I grew up on. Well, you know what it is? I have a theory on this. What?

Because the cars weren't as good. Even though they were expensive and fancy, the cars would spin a certain way where they would skid longer. I think now the car is like, it's just the driving and the precision is too good to them. So that's her Maserati? Yeah. It's like a 73 Maserati. And every time he's banking this turn, it's like skidding, skidding, skidding, but never rolls over. I think that's it. I think it's the skids.

I, speaking of that from the beginning, so his angry girlfriend at the beginning is a nature Ford.

Everybody's bought you. Anitra. Anitra Ford. She has that mid-70s kind of hot look that I just don't know why that went away. Her name is Anitra? Anitra Ford. She down with the community? I don't know. Was she on Price is Right? Is that one of the biographical things I saw about her? Because all the girls in Rollerball are incredible. It's like, I don't know. It's just quite an era. They're built different. The multi-picture opening for the game, C.R. mentioned. Ed Louder?

Ed Lauder? Lauder or Lauder? Oh, Knauer? Yeah. Yeah. Captain Knauer. Yeah. Ed Lauder, I think it is. Such a familiar face. Great career. Here's his sports movie resume. Longest yard, Jericho Mile, Youngblood, Gleam in the Cube, and he was in school ties. Pretty good. Gleam in the Cube.

Seminal, seminal Van Laten movie. Slater? Slater in there. Young Tony Hawk in there. It's a good one. He's skateboarding to solve crimes. It's on the list. Slater month where we do Gleam in the Cube, Legend of Billie Jean, and the re-pumping up of the volume. The re-pump? Oh, you guys didn't pump up the volume already? I think we got pump up the volume. Happy hearing hard on? Revived as a rental.

It's one of the biggest successes in the history of the rewatchables. We did pump up the volume partly because it was not available on any streaming service. And a month later, Amazon had it. And we were like, we've done it, guys. Because it invented podcasting. It did. Quick question. We'll come back. Is there any argument to be made that Heather should be included in a Slater? Yes. Heather should be the fourth one. Yeah.

I mean, you could really talk me into Broken Arrow pretty quickly. You know, can I be honest with you? I like Broken Arrow. Over fucking hated movie. What the fuck? Broken Arrow is solid. No, it's legitimately a good movie. It's kind of, the premise is kind of, but it's like a legitimately good movie. It's when Travolta was in his little thing, Slater's still coming up. Sam Mathis back in it. Sam Mathis the whole night. One of my passionate passions, how about that?

Passionate Passion Pyramid? Post-Pulp Fiction Travolta has an amazing run. I even like Domestic Disturbance. Shoot me. That's a good movie. He's taken a lot of roles. He's figuring it out, but there's some gems in there. Face Off, Domestic Disturbance, General's Daughter. Get Shorty? Broken Arrow, Get Shorty. He's ripping them for six, seven years. What was the movie where he was the angel?

Did you see that? Michael. Michael. That's not one. I didn't mind Phenomenon. Oh, I love that movie. Not Powder. Phenomenon. I like that. I like that. I love that movie. He gets hit with the whole thing. Phenomenon has Travolta telling Keira Sedgwick

Will you love me for the rest of my life? No. And she goes, no. I'll love you for the rest of yours. I'll love you for the rest of mine. Or mine, yeah. See, man. Van and Kalika, they get choked up on a Friday night watching Phenomenon. Couple more would say it's the best. Michael Conrad eventually becoming the let's be careful out there guy in Hill Street Blues. Yeah.

A seminal, seminal TV character. Can I throw a what's aged the best that is adjacent to the production of the game within the movie? Yeah. Just introducing the announcer, Michael Fox. I think first time we had an announcer as a sports movie crutch in it, we're probably the best. Genius. Yeah. And then like, obviously like is,

all the way down through Dodgeball. Like, they always bring an announcer in, but he... Well, it goes sideways with the remake because they have Chris Berman as the announcer. They bring in... It could not be more annoying. That's where the remake fucks up. The remake stops taking itself seriously and it becomes cameo porn. Yeah. And it doesn't feel like a real movie. Cameo porn's a good way to put it. It's like what happened to Entourage?

What's aged the best? Burt's gray leisure suit in the first scene we didn't really go into. Yeah. So what's the deal? Is he like a kept man of a rich woman in West Palm Beach? Is that... He's like a stud. Yeah. Yeah, because at first you feel like, well, he's an ex-QB, so all that stuff is his, but she... You see all the pictures of her. It's her whole thing. She's keeping him around as like a... She's clearly like a multi...

married probably like three husbands all rich set up in west palm beach and ashley's with burt burt's like the stud horse uh what's aged the best caretaker can get steroids vitamins and greenies in 1974 yeah he's on it was he patient zero to the steroids era he's on his shit that's what's so funny about steroids when people think it started with like a woman yeah sex with a woman right yeah sex with a woman

What's Aged the Best? Aldridge deliberately shot the film as wide as humanly possible with the multi-picture stuff so that it wouldn't go on TV. Yeah. It's like, I want this to be a film enjoyed in theaters. This is a What's Aged the Best and a What's Made Me Sad, but...

Caretaker's murder is such a great twist, but it's such a bummer. It really takes the fucking air out of it. But it's such like a fucking wind out of the sailsers. Yeah. But it's really good. It's really smart. Unger is such a fucker in this movie. Oh, man. And it's so, I forget every time. And then like when he's just like, I could be your friend. And you're just like, man, this guy is weird. He's like the guy in Shawshank. Yeah. I could be a friend to you. The movie never gets so lighthearted where you forget that these guys are in prison. And in danger. Yeah. Yeah.

So, a What's Aged to Best, just this decision. Initially in the script, crew was supposed to get shot in the back at the end. And they decided that was a bad idea. And then, What's Aged to Best, just Burt being one of the crankiest assholes in the history of Hollywood. He did an interview about this movie in like the mid-2010s. And they asked him about the Longest Yard remake. And he said, I never saw it.

It was a paycheck and that was it. I never wanted to see it. He just was like pissing all over it. Yeah. Burt Reynolds, legendary crank. Uh,

What'd you got for great shot Gordo, CR? I think it's the crossing the plane of the goal line and then the split away. I agree. Maybe even great editing Eddie or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Denethi's Benihana Award for scene-stealing location. The football stadium's magnificent. Yes. It is. It's so good. Perfect size. It's the perfect size. It looks really good. They do a good job of setting the actual tone of a football game. And when you're in it,

They're rooting for the Mean Machine. They hate the guards. The whole prison establishment is the bad idea. Like, you really want the Mean Machine to win because of the atmosphere. In Florida, where do you think it is? Like, do you think it's, like, in the panhandle somewhere? I think it's in, like, a pretty rough part of Florida. Because I was trying to imagine— 40 miles outside of Jacksonville. Like, hey, what are you doing on Saturday?

What's that? I'm trying, it's not a real, it's not a real prison on the law. They shot it in Georgia. Oh, they shot it in Georgia. That's probably where they, yeah. But where do you think it's supposed to be in Florida? Well, I was just like trying to imagine like being in Florida and be like, hey man, what are you, are you going to go to the beach this weekend? It's like, no, I'm going to go see. No, the cops are playing the guards. Semi-pro football at a correctional facility. Yeah.

Well, okay. That's fun, too. I got three tickets. We're going to go hang out with the Citrus State Cheerios after the game. There's going to be 100 armed guards there. You know what's crazy? I knew this. There is a Citrus County jail, and it's in Tampa.

So maybe it's in Central Florida. You know, they called the cheerleaders, they called them like the citrus. Yeah, so maybe that's where it's supposed to be. The Kid Cudi Pursuit of Happiness Award. Best needle drop. It's never been an easier decision. That's easy, super easy. Saturday Night Special. Just the perfect song. Boy, that's a good song to listen to while you're driving. Right. Leonard Skinner, most important 70s band for movies?

For background music, it would be them or the Stones. The Stones are way high up there, too. I guess probably the Stones wins. Wait, okay. This is for movies in the 70s or movies in the 70s? In the 70s. But, like, being used in 70s films? Because I feel like part of it was, like, when Scorsese made Mean Streets is he was one of the first people to, like, reenact

Really spam pop music and I need to workshop this one more. Well, I'm trying to think but I like where your head is at Skinner has a if you're talking about beyond the 70s as well, then obviously beyond the 70s Yeah, but then Skinner Skinner's there though. It's got free bird and Forrest Gump. Yeah, they meet and go it's huge in days Mm-hmm. I don't know that the Allman brothers feel like another one that's been in a bunch of stuff. Sure Fleetwood Mac to Oh Yeah, Fleetwood Mac's got a lot stuff

The Big Kahuna Burger Award for Best Use of Food and Drink. Homemade prison liquor always gets me. Raisin Jack, dog. Come on. Would you be a homemade liquor guy? I was thinking about what my professions would be in prison. And I think I would definitely, definitely be angling

to be the announcer. Like, that seems like a great job. I would just be like, you guys playing pickup? Can I come announce it? Can I come do, like... What would make you so valuable in prison? Because I also watched Shot Caller recently, which I had never seen. After the pod? Which was surprisingly good.

It's awesome. What the fucking cast... What's surprising about it? That movie's amazing. Guys, let's be honest about... I have theories about some of our... Shot Caller was the worst marketed film ever. Oh, there's no question. Like, when the Shot Caller commercials were coming, I would be like, yo, man, what the fuck is this? Like, why would I look at this? Like, you know...

So, like, why would I, I don't want to look at this. And then you watch the movie 10, 15 minutes into the movie, you're like, yo, what the fuck John Bernthal's in this? Like, this movie's actually fucking good. Yeah. But what would you do inside of prison that would make you so valuable that you couldn't be fucked over? That's what I'm saying. I would be like, I'm going to do play-by-play for pick-up sports. I don't think that's what it is. Then I would be a drug dealer. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

You wouldn't be homemade liquor guy? No, I would be fucking the greenies guy. I would be the bookie immediately. The first time they're playing basketball, I'm like, hey guys, anybody have any action on this? Look, guys, I got action. I got action over here. The thing is that what happens the first time a dude is really pissed off that the Ravens didn't cover? I'd have muscle behind me. I'd be cutting in two of the biggest dudes and be like, look,

I'll cut you in. Would it be a non-denominational kind of thing or would you gang up with one of the racially backed gangs as a bookie? Oh, I'd have all of them because they don't have to go through me. The United Colors of Benetton of Muscle. Gambling doesn't see different sides. It's just wins and losses. Everyone's in. It's the way to play. Would you offer same game parlays? Impressive. Boots. Parlay boots.

Wednesday is my profit boost token. He'd be fucking dead in like two weeks. Some guy wouldn't understand what the fucking million dollar picks is. He would just be like, fuck this. I'm shipping this guy. He has to get what? He has to get how many rebounds? Oh, he's fucking dead. It's 10 rebounds and he has to kill a guy today. Can you imagine Bill the day the John T. Porter scandal broke in his prison book?

Butch's girlfriend or weak link of the film. I just think, I just feel like crew could have thought that caretaker's death thing out a little when the warden's threatening him with it.

I'm going to pin this on you. If Crew goes up, this is more of a nitpick. Crew should have thought this one out a little better. But I think if he goes up to the team and is like, they're going to put caretaker's murder on me. I'm going to be here for decades. We have to lose by 21 or I'm dead. Or I have to fake an injury. I bet a lot of those guys would be like, well, it was a really fun first half. Let's take a knee here. Not just in this movie, but the why don't you just tell them aspect of... I can think of...

like a dozen movies where it's like, yo, just say, you know the war is a piece of shit. They're going to believe you. Well, it's also even for self-preservation, like, Cruz is going to get fucked up after this game. Yeah. If he throws the game. Yeah, he's fucking over people who are then going to ruin him for the rest of his time in prison. Yeah. But I also think just fundamentally, he had an alibi. Mm-hmm.

Everybody knows he loves caretaker. Everybody knows Unger's a maniac. Everybody knows Unger's a serial killer. I just felt like that wouldn't have scared me, the threat. What's aged the worst? We mentioned domestic violence in the first scene. It's pretty harsh. It's really... It's pretty jarring. Yeah. And he's so... Just real quick, that's why...

He does it automatically, so angrily. Like, because Burt Reynolds can be a fucking asshole on screen when he wants to be. He just, it was like, oh, shit, like right at the beginning of the movie. Yeah, no actor is making that choice now. Mm-hmm.

It bothers me that Bernadette Peters isn't cuter in this movie because I think she's super cute. She's beautiful. She's wearing this fucking beehive. She just looks like a crazy person. Do you ever find spiders in there? Yeah, I get it. I just feel like they could have had her let her hair down at some point. I feel like a What's Aged at Worst cross with a nitpick is they loop the same shot of the warden just standing up in shock during the game scene. Mm-hmm.

He does this like 10 times and I just think he might have filmed it once from 10 angles and then there's a couple of if you watch this film as much as we have like they'll show like like in the during the Star Spangled Banner like before they start playing the national anthem you can see the guys mouthing the word Jaws is yeah Jaws is and then the Star Spangled Banner starts and then the only other one I had is they kept remaking this movie and

It really upset me when they made this say in the remake. Because as you know, my rule with remakes is don't remake something that's perfect. And I felt like this movie was perfect. Don't touch it. If you're going to remake it, I have some ideas for that later. They only remake things that are perfect.

Yeah, well, this movie killed when Sandler, I mean, it's one of the biggest movies of his career. Oh, no, yeah, it's like 200 million, like over something like that. And it's on all the time. It was the one my son knows. It's gotten to the point now where people are like, wait, there was another Longest Shared? That's what's actually worse times 100. Yeah, it stole the thunder of the original. Nobody realizes that this is the Longest Shared. You know what's funny? That doesn't happen as much as you think it does, to where they remake a movie and then the movie completely undermines the first one.

That doesn't, that almost never happened. Well, also, this movie's 50 years old, but, you know, like, there's other movies from the 70s, like, nobody remade, not saying this was as good as Taxi Driver, but there's certain movies that nobody touched, French Connection. Yeah. I felt like this should have been a, we don't touch this movie. You had any, what's the worst? Using smelling salts for guys who get knocked out on the football field. Yeah. Let's bring that back. I'm going the other way.

This concussion protocol stuff. If we were live tweeting. Derek Lange pops up. Pneumonia capsules. But if they were live tweeting like the football game at Longest Yard and people were like, this isn't normal. These shouldn't be playing. Like he's got a concussion. That's a funny idea. People, 2024 people tweeting during this game. The guards are being so unfair.

They just knocked out Nate Scarborough. The only thing that aged the worst with the football, and it's not like it aged the worst, it's just the one thing that when you're watching the movie, you notice is the wide receivers.

It's different back then. Flankers are different. They don't line up on the line of scrimmage. They definitely don't get into Justin Jefferson sprinter poses yet. That's the only thing that throws you off. I guess this is the first football movie to be made in which a receiver is standing at the line of scrimmage because when football started up through the 60s, they would be hand on the ground, basically. What's Asia's worst is Brass Knuckles.

Being brought to the football field. It's these people all use brass knuckles in the game itself. Should that come back? Maybe. Just being able to like. I mean, your coach basically did it with the bounty. That's not what he did. Bounty gate. That's not what he did. Basically put bounties on people. That's what he did. He didn't basically put bounties on people. He put bounties on people. We had no brass knuckles though. Far threw the ball away. Threw it to us. We win. Nothing can stop us from that. Take that away. Was there a better title for this movie?

Mean Machine? Mean Machine, maybe. I love The Longest Yard and how you don't know why it's called The Longest Yard until the last five minutes of the movie. And it's got the prison yard. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Well, we have to do the Van Lathan Award because it's here. The Van Lathan Award. Did this movie need more black people? No. We're good? We're good. Well, as a matter of fact, not only that, but I appreciated the fact that this movie... Are there too many black people in The Longest Yard? Well, I appreciate it. Look, this movie did two things. Number one,

They said that there are not that many brothers in this prison. This is good. Citrus County. Citrus County cuts against, you know, commonly held situations. And then also the fact that we were important. They had to have us on a team in order to win. You need the black guys. You have to court us. They had to ask us for our votes, unlike politicians. You have to just go do it anyway. But you have to actually come to us and give our community something. Yeah.

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inviting neighbors over for a casual cookout, or cooking s'mores in the oven with your family on a rainy day. Enjoy s'more of each other with Hershey's S'mores. Find Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bars at your favorite retailer. Time to s'more s'more. The can you dig it a word for most memorable quote. It's got to be the, uh, we've come too far to stop now. It's good. Can I throw a couple other nominees out there? Broke His Fucking Neck is one too. Yeah, that one's good. I think I broke his fucking neck, um,

I think that Burt Reynolds saying, that's why people like to have me around because I have a sense of humor essentially explains Burt Reynolds. Yeah. You know, he's kind of fun. And, uh, I really always crack up at, uh, I think it's caretaker goes, that's before he learned karate. Yeah.

But actually, the one I love, actually, I should point out, when the warden is like, why is it do you suppose that I can walk through the yard surrounded by hate and in total command? And Knauer goes, because you've got 15 gun turrets all around you that say you can. Has there ever been a movie where the warden was a good guy? Brubaker. That's about it. The CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford. Hottest take award. I'll go first. Burt Reynolds.

greatest car chase driver ever. And it's not even close. Car chase driver. Nobody was better in a car chase being chased by somebody than Burt Reynolds. The way he drove the car, the way he looked around, the demeanor that he had, the charisma, the unflappability. He was just the best at it. Because Popeye Doyle really flappable.

You know, he's getting real angry. He's honking a lot. You could throw Steve McQueen at me. Maybe she, Steve McQueen was the man in these. Reynolds has just more movies where we just, but you're not saying coolest driver. You're saying best car chase. Best car chase guy. I felt always felt in the safest hands. Like if you're going to climb in a car with somebody and you're about to be chased, I would want Bert.

Ryan Gosling as a backup. Smokey. You got Smokey. Oh, drive. Cannonball run. Jesus, cannonball run. Burt probably spent more time driving in movies than anyone ever, I would say. Do you have a hottest take? It's not really that hot, but I think that this movie is just as good about being about America as it is about sports. And the idea that basically...

Kind of come from different racial, cultural, economic backgrounds. But the thing that brings us all together is we fucking hate the boss, whoever that is, and we love football.

Whoever the boss is. Whoever the boss is. It doesn't matter who it is. Not at this table. You know, I mean. You're talking about the suites. Yeah. Or they're like the larger, the man, you know? True. It's true. So there was a pregnancy in this movie. I didn't see her reach for a condom. That's my hottest take. Like she's with child. Oh, Bernadette? Bernadette, yeah. I see her like whatever she, whatever's going on there, there was a life created inside of the prison. Yeah.

Did they say that in the movie? No, this is his hot take. But you should pitch. I was like, did I miss that? Paul Crews' illegitimate son growing up in the 1980s. Yeah.

and all he has he has to live like you know will paul crew like acknowledge me that is paul crew jr so he's going to be in college in like early 90s like the program like rocket ismail oh my god if the program is a movie about paul crew jr yeah that's the type of i would do if i ran a studio i would do the program old characters obscure yeah i would do the program right but the lead character of the program would be

It'll only be one line. He's like, why are you... Because in that movie, Schiffer is just angsty as shit for no reason. He's a Heisman candidate and he's angsty as hell. But why? He'd be angsty because his dad is a convict. They don't want him to find out his dad was Paul Crew. Paul Crew's whole thing. It's a great idea. Casting what ifs. James Hampton was supposed to play Unger

But pushed to play caretaker instead. Yeah, smart. It's good sliding doors. Yeah. We had real football stars in this movie, including Joe Capp, who a longtime quarterback, and Ray Nitschke, who was one of the most famous linebackers of the 60s. Nitschke's incredible. Yeah, he's great. He's the ball guy. He plays the guy who gets hit in the balls. Who would be the 2024 equivalents of those guys? I have Kirk Cousins and Khalil Mack. Khalil Mack is a good one.

I don't know if there's a better middle linebacker. Does it have to be a middle linebacker kind of guy, or is it could be any defense player? I'm just trying to think of the... To equal the fame of those guys. Because Joe Cap wasn't like Pat Mahomes. Sure. But he was pretty famous, and Q beat some teams and made the playoffs. He was kind of at that Kirk Cousins level. And then Nitschke was probably better than Khalil Mack, but I don't know who. He played middle linebacker? Yeah. I'm trying to think of who would be in the linebacker spot, because...

Nitschke is like such, he's like a big, he's a heavy. We almost don't have linebackers. Oh, the guy in the 49ers, I guess. Fred Warner? Yeah, Fred Warner. But you know what the problem with it is, though? He's too good looking. Like, look up Fred Warner right now. That's what I was thinking. So he's like an ugly linebacker. You mean like, Nitschke's like a big, he has to be a heavy that you want to see him get hit in the balls. Fred Warner's like a really good looking guy. A lot of linebackers now are kind of pretty boys a little bit. Yeah. Sonny Sixkiller played the part of the Indian.

who apparently was an outstanding quarterback on the University of Washington in the early 1970s, played in the WFL. Best that guy award. So James Hampton, probably not a that guy, right? I...

Well, I mean, I think he is to 99% of the people listening to this. He's like the guy from Hunt for October, the guy from... See, he is to me, but in a room with Sean and Chris, he's not. But to me, I would say that he is. Ed Lauder is also not a that guy. He's Ed Lauder, I feel like. I'll be honest with you. I thought he was a that guy. I would consider him a that guy. Yeah. I feel like Harry Caesar, who played Granville, I never really knew what his name was. I would just see him as Granville. But he's been a lot of stuff, including Few Good Men. Yeah.

He's the magazine guy. He's the newsstand guy. Yeah, Luther. One of the strangest Sorkin characters. And the fact that, like, Caffey is, like, homies with that guy. Hey, Luther got Sports Illustrated for me! Is new Hustler in yet?

Can I get a Popular Mechanics Sports Illustrated Hustler? Unger's probably the winner because I don't even know what that guy's name is and he's super creepy and if you saw him in anything you'd be like, hey, that's Unger. A harder category is the Dion Waiters Award. Dion Waiters for the biggest heat check. Bernadette Peters, two scenes. Yeah. Shockner, I think, qualifies.

Richard Kaila's jaw is probably not. Pop has only a couple scenes. The warden's sidekick has one line. Yeah. And then the Citrus State Cheerios, the cheerleaders. So Michael Fox as the announcer is not Dion? We can count that as well. Yeah, that's good. Let's go with him. He also wrote his own commentary. Like he wrote the announcing. Yeah.

Before that, that's actually a good one. Before I had Bernadette Peters, because she turns up the heat so much in her second scene. She goes from being standoffish to fucking the very next time we see her. So I was like, that was the definition of it. But I'll go with the announcer as well. Recasting couch director or city. Who is Paul Crew in 2024? Does that person exist? Do we have the actor? Could Gosling do it? That's the guy who jumps out at me. But really, it might be Glenn. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Glenn Powell. Yeah, it might be Glenn. Our guy. Glenn is... I like how you're one-naming him now. We're asking so much of him. He's remaking The Running Man. You know, he's remaking Twisters. Can he be Schwarzenegger, Paxton, and Burt Reynolds? Kind of, because you know why? Because he's a good athlete. He can also play sports. He was good in everybody. Yeah, he can play sports. So, like, he is... To me, when I look at it, Gosling is... You'd think that he could do it, right? But when you look at Glenn Powell...

He kind of is the... He's got the Burt Riddles thing going for him. He could grow a really good Fu Manchu. Yeah. I like that one. Tony Romo or Chris Collinsworth for director's commentary. This feels like a Collinsworth move to me. Yeah, but I tried to challenge myself thinking about Collinsworth not doing the football game. It's like, oh, Mike, caretaker's the finest raisin jack in the entire joint. That's something making your grandkids go blind, Mike.

But Romo doing when Ray Nitschke is coming through the line unchecked. He's going to throw in his Paul's kitchen. I was thinking Collinsworth for the, oh, split right. Split right on two is just working right now. It is just working. They don't know what's hitting them. They're running reverses off split right too. They're doing anything they want. Half-assed internet research. Albert S. Reddy, the producer.

You know him from a little movie called The Godfather. He wrote the story in the late 1960s. This is who Miles Teller plays in. Yes. Yeah. In what? This was his story. He got a script writer to do. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So saw him. Shot on location, Georgia State Prison with the cooperation of then Governor Jimmy Carter. I thought that was him. He just died. Ruddy. Yeah, Ruddy. He just died like last week or the week before. Yeah.

This is like old school movie producer shit. I have an idea. And they wanted it to be funny. And Aldridge was not a comedy guy. So they did what he called schtick takes, which then eventually became what Jed Apatow and some other people would do. Just like keep the cameras rolling. Hey, Bert, just do some funny stuff. And then 70% of that ended up in there. After the cast and crew left the prison, they left their stuff behind and

And the inmates played the troopers and it didn't go well. Yeah. Tell it. Rick Tellender wrote a piece about this for sports illustrated in the eighties, 66 to nothing at the half. The convicts were up and a lot of troopers got hurt. So that's like an amazing documentary. They were taking out all of this. Yeah. That's fucking hilarious. Yeah. Um,

Reynolds loved the prisoners and would sit with them during the meal breaks and hang out with them. And they were telling him, don't do that. But he did it anyway. And then there's this whole thing about how Aldridge didn't like Michael Conrad and called him the Polish princess and just fucked with him the whole shoot and messed with him. We haven't really talked about Nate yet. No. You want to do that now? I have a couple of nitpicks about Nate. And then when the Maserati got fished out of the water...

The producers sold it for $7,000 to somebody as the car in the movie. Yeah. Apex Mountain. Reynolds? I don't think... I think it's probably Smokey and the Bandit. I mean, that movie was like one of the five biggest movies of 1977. There's like a retrospective Apex Mountain where I think you could probably be like, this is it for him. But it's not for him. But it's not. Yeah, because like this would probably be his...

Most memorable, it's his best thing that he did? Well, ironically, his two most memorable movies after all these years are three. Deliverance, Longest Yard, and Boogie Nights. Yeah. I think those are the first three if you're talking about the Burt Reynolds. You know how they do the movie stars of the year list? Yeah. He was number one like five years ago. He took it from Clint. He took it really from this year on.

Harry Caesar, sure. Eddie Albert was on Green Acres, and that show was super popular. Green Acres is where I was. I was like, what show was he on? Michael Conrad at Hill Street Blues. James Hampton, it's probably Teen Wolf Dad, pretty iconic part. Yeah. Turns into a wolf. You're like, oh my God. I mean, I think that's how most people know him. Football movies, I think, yeah. I still feel like this is the best football movie.

Did you put something above it? I was actually trying to think of if anything even comes close. No, I think it definitely is. Any Given Sunday is awesome. Rudy is up there, I guess. Remember the Titans. Remember the Titans. Varsity Blues. I have a soft spot for Wildcats. Friday Night Lights is the movie. It's much more competitive than I thought it was just at the jump. There are going to be a lot of people that are going to look. Replacements, right?

I love that movie. I do like the replacements. Yeah, I like that movie a lot. No, this is the best one. 1974 Maseratis, no question. Saturday Night Special as a movie song? Yeah. It's been in other movies though, right? I'm going to look it up. Hold on. And then two good ones for UCR. Anacot Steel.

The guards played Anikot Steel, but I still think Wall Street is Apex Mountain for Anikot Steel. Yeah. Yeah. Saturday Night Special was also in blue collar with Harvey Keitel and Yafet Koto. Oh. Yeah. That's it? That's pretty much it. Okay. Anikot Steel. That's, yeah. Blue Oyster loves Anikot Steel. Blue Oyster loves Anikot Steel. Apex Mountain. Horrible West Palm Beach incidents. No. Mar-a-Lago. No.

Where did Kraft get his massage? That was Jupiter, was it not? That was in West Palm Beach? Was Tom Brady going to walk up to you and be like, stop that shit. Stop that shit, Simmons. It was Polk County that I remember. Okay. So it's still not Apex Mountain for this. Hey, next category, Cruiser Hanks.

This is a Cruise movie. It's a Cruise. I do think that there was... Cruise is good as... I think this would be a fun Cruise movie. There was a point in their careers, even though it would have... Cruise could have played Crew and Hanks could have played Scarborough. You know what I mean? Maybe make Hanks look a little older, but sometime around League of Their Own sort of thing, he was basically playing Scarborough anyway. Would have been cool.

In the remake, Reynolds played Scarborough and Chris Rock played Caretaker. Yeah. I have no comment. Racehorse, Rock Band, Wrestler, Fantasy Team name. Mean Machine's an incredible racehorse name. Cruz is Paul Cruz. Pretty interesting. He's very short. That's the only thing I was about to say. It had to be like a Doug Flutie type. He's a Doug Flutie type. Then you have him do the drop kick. This is Doug Flutie. In all the right moves, what's his position? Cornerback. Cornerback. Yeah. Undersized cornerback. Pickin' Nits.

Well, you guys go. I have a bunch. We're not. My thing is, we're not. If you're the warden, you don't just pay off the refs here. You're trying to fix everything else. You're trying to fix. You don't pay the refs off. That's not going to happen. You would have thought the refs would have been planted. Yeah. The same way I hope they plant the refs for game seven of a Celtics-Mavs final. So my big one is just like, why is like a former New York Giant player

and a former NFL All-Pro both in a Florida prison. And Nate, like, crew doesn't know Nate's in the prison. Like, nobody's like, oh, it's weird you're here because there's another NFL player here the entire time until, like, midway through training. Yeah, that's pretty weird. And I just think that, like, the one thing that I wish they used more is the push-ups guy.

Yeah, he kind of... He has like all these scenes in the swamp and you're like, this guy must be a major part of this film. He must have been like difficult or something. And then he disappears. He's like on the sideline. It's like the guy in The Warriors who just disappears halfway through the movie. He's showing what a good athlete he is the entire time and then pretty much after the mud stuffing incident. He should have blacked the field. Would the warden really care about the semi-pro team this much of this random fucking prison?

This is the highlight of his week. Interesting. Interesting, though, because, you know, in Angola State Penitentiary, there's the Crunch Bowl, which is where I'm from, which is a big, huge deal amongst the prison, the football. And if there's competition to be had out there, he might. Because this is the same premise from any given Sunday from...

With Denzel's joint? The warden cares so much about basketball? Right. Well, the governor cares in that place and the warden facilitates it, I guess. Yeah. So it's also in early 70s, it's like you're basically finding out about sports scores the next day anyway. Right? You're not watching highlights at night. And if you live in Central Florida, I don't know if there's any pro teams in Central Florida in the early 70s. Is the Bucs there yet? No.

So you're pretty much like, this might be the only game in town. I really care about this semi-perky. Just like all these movies we love, the warden's always up to more stuff than just like being some random evil guy who runs the prison. He's always trying to- No, I also care about-

trying to figure out how to make the prison bigger. Becoming Bear Bryant. Yeah. Or like he cares about something else. Seems to me like when I watch prison documentaries, the warden's like, it's a nine to five job. Somebody died in prison again. Fine. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Caretakers murder. Would it work out this perfectly? I mean, I get to inject some stuff in a light bulb.

Guy turns it on and he just flames shooting out of it. Yeah, he's just on fire. It's a pretty serious piece of arson that Unger pulls off. I guess, you know, 70s wiring. It just seems like somebody would catch him coming out of somewhere and stick him five times and that's how you got it. Shot car, it's just like five quick ones. One new pick I had was that confusing hierarchy for the Mean Machine coaching staff.

Yeah, Scarborough, but really Paul Crew. Yeah, it's like Nate's the head coach, but then Paul introduces him as like my assistant. He changes it immediately? Yeah. He says, you're the head coach. It's going to happen with J.J. Redick and LeBron. LeBron.

This is my assistant, JJ. No, no, no. I've been my head coach. Oh, one last nitpick. They're from the Chicago Youth Authority, the black inmates. Yeah, why are they in Florida? Why are they incarcerated in Central Florida? What happened? Great question. They round them up. It's a state prison. It's not a fed, right? It's not a federal prison. So like, what's the deal?

My son had a nitpick. Oh, interesting. He loves... He's listened to a couple rewatchables. I think it's the only content I've ever made that he's consumed. I bet. He likes nitpicks. He wanted a... He...

Didn't understand why they didn't defer when they won the coin toss. I was telling him in 1974, nobody thought that way. Nobody thought they wouldn't like it. Also, I don't think the guards were like, God, this one's really, this game's a real coin toss. That got a shut up end for me. Split right on two somehow was a QB reverse pass. Yeah.

Kind of need more, a couple more words in there. Split right on two. The terminology wasn't... Like the Philly special was like, we're running the Philly special. We're trying to keep this as straightforward as possible. He says that in the first practice. He's like, we're not going to get into a lot of like advanced... But if you're running the Philly special, it's not split right on two. No. But I don't think they can pack in shanty verbiage to this where they're like, spider three, why banana? You know, into this, and they're going to know what they're talking about. Split right on two is not complicated enough. Split right on two is just...

That's you calling out the formation. I've played Madden. I know what it is. And then I have a lot of questions about the comeback. So they're on 35, 13 with 11 minutes left. Nate gets a TD to get the onside kick quick drive, reverse run TD. This is my thing. 35, 27, 504 left.

We assume they get a defensive stop. They don't show it. They don't. They could cut right to them having the ball again. Cut to a drop kick on fourth down from the 33. Now it's 35-30.

They get another defensive stop that we don't see. Almost would have had to have been a turnover at this point. Either turnover or stop or another onside. And these guys aren't, they haven't used their timeouts because he uses all his timeouts in the last drive. So Knauer isn't even eating clock with like. Well, so then it goes, it's 35-30 and it's fourth and 21 after he keeps throwing it into the guy's balls. Which is. Which stops the clock. The biggest nitpick. Yeah. Time of the game. Yeah. Do that when it's 35-13. Yeah.

Fourth and 21, they show the clock. There's 240 left. So in this less than two and a half minutes, they get two defensive stops. They run four plays for a drop kick. And then he throws the ball on the guy's things. So it was Captain Knauer, like the worst game manager of all time. What did he just throw it on every down? It's for a thing that's so meticulously like laid out. The fact that it's like, oh, they got the ball back again after like a quick stop. It's like what?

What's he doing? The only thing that makes it sort of plausible is that the warden was on Knauer's ass about sucking. Running up the score? Oh, because do you think he started, he's tried to spread the field and run like. He's trying to get, go beat the spread. Yeah, he wants to beat the spread. And then also Knauer might be that stupid because remember the warden wanted to take it from Knauer and then give it to Paul Crew. Well, I actually found out the answer. Okay, what's the answer?

Kyle Shanahan was in a time machine and went back to 1974 and fucked the game up. No, seriously. Yeah. That's what ChatGBT told me. That would be the program two is set with the contemporary Niners and Doc Brown comes to Kyle Shanahan and is like, Kyle! We have to go back to Central State Penitentiary! The Cheerios just texted me. So anyway,

I think that's the right answer, that they're trying to run up the score. So instead of just running out the clock and winning by five, they're trying to play a little hero ball. Yeah. I would have liked to have seen a couple defensive plays, just like maybe two. Sequel, prequel, prestige, TV, all black cast are untouchable. This should have been my hottest take.

I think I'm okay at this point, 50 years later, if they did a basketball remake. I was trying to think of a way you could just basically... I think it has to be basketball. What do you replace the yard with? Like, is it... Like, just to be like, the longest what? And it's a basketball prison movie. The longest three? Yeah. But I think it would have my attention if it was...

whoever, famous A-lister. And it was like, it's basketball. It's convicts against the guards. It's a disgraced NBA star. It's like, okay. And then, but you flip the races. So rather than them having to get the black guys on the team. They got to get the Aryan Brotherhood guys to play. They got to get the foreigners. Or the Serbian guys. The Serbian. The Serbian. They got to get the.

It's like, hey, man. It's the Jokic brothers. Bro, we don't have enough. Holy shit. We don't have enough talent, man. The guys from the Eastern Bloc over there, they're over there. And Nikola Jokic and his screen debut. How did we get a bunch of Serbian guys? How did we get a bunch of guys from Chicago? That's true. That's true. It was the same thing. So they're like, they've been playing. Serbian pipeline. Yeah. They've been playing Euro League. Okay. Yeah. I love it.

That actually would be hilarious. I thought you were going to have like a black dude has to go up to the Aryan Brotherhood and be like, do you guys want to play hoops against the guards? Now, if you're going to recruit the Aryan Brotherhood, you specifically have to get Ed Norton's character. He's got a juice again. He's got that one unstoppable move and he's already above the rim. What's sad is we're going to do American History X for the rewatchables at some point this year just to do the basketball scene for an hour and a half. An abomination.

One of my favorite movies of all time. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Trejo, Sam Jackson, JT Walsh, Byron Mayo, Harley Mays, Evil Laughing, Ramon Raymond, The Hanson Brothers, or Philip Bicker Hall? I think The Hanson Brothers, honestly. Like having The Hanson Brothers be on this football team would be iconic. Yeah, they could have had two extra scenes. Especially like if they put them in, all three of them in that thing that Burt Reynolds had to go. What was that called? The Hot Box. The Hot Box. They Hot Boxed all three Hanson Brothers. Yeah.

Just one Oscar who gets it. Definitely Reynolds. Definitely Burt, yeah. Unanswerables. Oh my god, I got so many. Can I start? Yeah, go. What's the score if Crew doesn't throw the third quarter? Yeah. Yeah, it feels like they win by 10. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why they didn't have more points in the first quarter. I mean, they were basically like, they get their asses kicked the first quarter, and then they just start really turning it on in the second. If he...

If you look at what they do in the fourth quarter, like imagine if that was their second half game plan. They just smoked those guys. Their defense is playing amazing, frankly. My question, who could the guards actually beat? They literally put the team together. In four weeks. In four weeks. And they beat them. They are the national runners up. Yeah. Who are they playing against? Obviously not. I have one more for you. Yeah.

What was the day after take economy inside of prison? Like what's prisons version of first things first leading with? Are they, are they saying, does crew still have something to prove?

Are they mad at the treatment of Bogdanski? They're saying that they're... Did Crew cross the line? Yeah. That's coming up next. There was a point in the second half of the game where it looked like Crew was trying to throw the game. Right. He'd never do that, Ice Pick. Are they saying that... Ice Pick, Ice Pick.

Is prison Nick, right? Like crew was carried by Nate and granny coming up next. Stephen is Shank. Nick, right. And Stephen, Nick, right. Just like Tyler Parker right now and do that show. I had a couple just like, so crew played in the, he says he played in the NFL for 11 years and then he said he had an eight year exile and

after he played hadn't picked up a ball in eight years that puts him in his early 40s but it seems like he's like 35 in this movie right yeah he doesn't seem like it's so hard to tell guys in the 70s yeah they all look 40 he immediately lost like a decade off of his face when he shaved yeah right yeah did red from shawshank just rip off caretaker

Did Stephen King see this movie and he was like, Red's going to be caretaker? I think prison fixer is like a really reliable. Or is there always a caretaker character? Yeah, because it's a pretty common trope. Like, anything in this place I can get you. That could be your prison persona. Maybe. You could be the guy who could get stuff. Yeah. But you're the, but you could also get posters, you can get,

You think guys in prison are really hard up for posters now? Transistor radios. AirPods. Can you imagine bringing somebody a poster right now in prison? Hey, check it out. Kathy Ireland's swimsuit issue. Lately used. We have to figure out Paul Cruz's stats, right? I had...

14 for 23, 225 yards, two TDs, two picks, and a fumble. At QBR, though, he took a real hit in the third quarter. But the rushing, it's like a Lamar Jackson type of game. I think he's like 17 for 99 rushing. I think he, yeah, he ran. Maybe more. Maybe so. Like 17 for 119? Yeah. Something like that. It's like a Lamar. It's like a good November Lamar game. Yeah. Okay, Stephen A. Shank. What do you think, Ice Pick? Ice Pick. Ice Pick.

Couldn't be stopped. You're not going to win in the playoffs with a running QB is all I'm saying. Coming up next, will the warden have Knauer killed tomorrow? Best double feature choice with this movie. Smoking the Bandit?

Just go full Burt Cruz. Yeah, I think a Burt double. I think North Dallas 40. Slapshot? North Dallas 40 was mine. Well, because did we pair that with Slapshot? Yeah. Because I thought about it. And 70s football movies. Now, North Dallas 40 and Heaven Can Wait. Those are after this one. Yeah. Those are my favorite 70s football movies. The three of those movies. Love North Dallas. Love Heaven Can Wait. So like those, one of those movies, I would pair with it.

The Indian Red Zawadney Award for what happened the next day. I wrote down, crew gets framed for 12 different murders and assaulted and probably sexually assaulted. And some bad things happened to him. I just had to... The warden's like, just threw in the sky. Did crew get parole? No, crew... Like, you guys, crew was in jail forever. Crew never got out. He's dead within probably a couple weeks. Yeah, like, crew... And that's... I didn't get to say this during the nitpick. I have...

Such a crazy nitpick, such a crazy time, like, accepting that punching the warden once was worth 30 years of your life, right? And then at the same time, Crew doing this, I know he had to not tell all these guys, but Crew's fucked. Yeah. Like, Crew's done. He has to escape. Longest yard two is they just have to fucking escape. Yeah, Crew's finished, bro.

The ward has threatened him so many different times. That would have been a good segment for prison first take. What does Crew do now? What does Crew do now? I think he has to escape, I expect. What do you think... I was trying to figure this out. What kind of season do you think the guards have in the Southeastern Dead Dunk? Yeah, they went 3-8. That's another topic. Do we have a QB controversy? Can the guards recover from this? Can the guards recover from this? Did Knauer do enough? It's like a Penix-Cousins situation.

What piece of memorabilia would you want from this movie? I think some of the memorabilia was in an auction. I missed it. Was the game ball in an auction? I think the crew jersey and the game ball were in there, but the crew jersey would be the piece, I think, right? A non-torn Mean Machine 22, the black one. That would be quite a flex if I showed up in the torn Mean Machine jersey for a watchable. You're like, I got this on an auction site.

What do you have for Coach Finstock or for Best Life Lesson? Oh, I got the Nate speech where he goes, you spend 14 years in this tank. You begin to understand that you've only got two things they can't sweat out of you or beat out of you, your balls. That's a good one. I liked when caretakers, one thing that really sets up and kind of undergirds the movie is caretaker explaining why football is so important. Oh, yeah.

Like when he's talking to him. Because you shave points. That's why we work. You shave points. That's why. And that kind of sets Crew's character on like not being able to sell the guys out at the end. That's why. Because he kind of learns that lesson inside. This movie's an A+. Who won the movie? It's clearly Burt Reynolds. Can I throw one? Just throwing it out there for Al Ruddy. A, RIP. B, a producer made The Godfather. He's like, huh.

And he just has like this, the foresight to put Aldrich with Reynolds, this story, telling it the way they tell it. No holds barred, warts and all. I like it. I like the idea that there's like a kind of like the most powerful people in Hollywood were like, this is the kind of movie I want to make. What a career too. Like, you know, obviously he just passed away, but like Million Dollar Baby, this movie, like the Godfather movie, this is like long, expansive, amazing career, man. But it's burnt. Million Dollar Baby will not be on the rewatchables. Yeah.

Yeah. Did we tell you what we did to Jomie? What? So Jomie had never seen Million Dollar Baby. Oh, no. He had never seen it. You told him he had to see it? I said, Jomie, you got to watch Million Dollar Baby. So awesome. Like, Jomie, watch the movie. It's a boxing movie. It's about the lady that takes up boxing, Clint Eastwood. And he's like, why do you guys want me to see it so bad? I was like, what happens in it? I'm like, nothing. He's scarred.

Because in no way in life do you think that that's the turn that the movie's going to take. He was... I don't to this day remember being in the movie theater and, like, the entire theater just being like, what the fuck? I saw it in the Grove, and I've never been more unhappy at the Grove. LAUGHTER

The Grove is the happiest place. It's just unhappy. Yeah. You're sitting there, you're like, what the fuck? What the shit? And then you got, what, 20, 30 minutes of just brutality. Jomie was shocked and stunned. That's a really fun idea, like a series of making people see movies that they think are going to turn out a certain way. We did this with Hardball. Oh, that's right. We made people watch Hardball. We made them react to Hardball.

Gee babies. Oh, that's right. Tragic death in a hardball. Yeah. Requiem for a dream. It's hilarious. You got to see it. Check it out. Jared Leto, Jennifer Conley. They're great. Uh, at the end of this, we're going to, cause Craig's not here, but Craig's going to put his take on the longest yard at the end of this. So shout out to him. Thanks to go how and, uh, and Jack for producing. Um, we will see you next week for the last episode of seventies.

sports movie month. I don't even know what the movie is, but I had a great time. Thanks guys. Absolutely.

So I had never seen the original, but I remember watching and enjoying the remake with Adam Sandler growing up. I'm sure that's kind of sacrilege to hear, but that is the reality we live in. Like the guy said, I think the final 40 minutes of this movie were great and really rewatchable. I think the first half of the movie might be a little aged out now, unfortunately. Just some 70s movies, they have a timeless quality to them.

But I think you can really feel that this movie is 50 years old in the first hour. You know, the opening scene kind of feels like you're on a soap opera set. The language is obviously incredibly outdated.

And just the pacing in some of the prison scenes, you know, like the guys out in the swamp pouring mud into each other's shoes. You can really feel it in those scenes, in my opinion. But the concept overall of this movie is so great. I almost wish it was made 10 years later. I know Bill was saying that this is the first great modern sports movie, but I feel like if this came out in the mid 80s, it would be much more relevant today.

The 80s and 90s kind of feel like a time when concept and execution was in the sweet spot. And I think it would have helped the first half of the movie keep up with the second half. With that said, the football is clearly the piece that's aged the best. It's still...

Uh, it still has kind of a different pacing and editing and different music cues than a, you know, a more modern movie would, and you can feel it all the way through, but in a typical rewatchables fashion, I watched the movie. And as soon as I went back an hour later to, to start grabbing clips to put into the episode, I found myself liking every scene more and more the second time. Um,

I love that most of these guys are just out there playing real football. And you can really tell. And it looks great. And most of the time, it's hard to tell who's an actor and who is a football player. And that's another reason why I love older movies is nobody looks like an actor in these movies. Nowadays, you see Glenn Powell or Ryan Gosling, and you know those guys are actors. You know those guys have wanted to be an actor their whole life. They've been in Hollywood. They've been in the Hollywood machine. And they look like it. It's much more manicured. Burt Reynolds and Harrison Ford and Paul Newman and Brando,

obviously all very good looking guys, but they looked like real guys that were plucked off the street when they were like 30 years old and thrown in front of a camera because they had charisma and then became movie stars. And even how you behave as a movie star on screen is kind of different. I feel like Reynolds in this movie is so quiet and still and reserved. And he has like a stoic star power to him that feels extinct now.

A couple other things that I love. The football, once again, honestly, very accurate. They ran a reverse on a kickoff, a few more reverses on offense, some Josh Allen-like QB sneaks, a receiver back shoulder like Rodgers' Jordy Nelson play at the end there. It was all great. I love seeing the big guy that people my age will only know from Happy Gilmore, the giant nail-in-the-head guy, and you can count on me in the parking lot. That guy, found out his name is Richard Keel. Wonderful seeing him.

I will say I wanted more out of Paul Cruz speech at the end. I don't know once again, if that's sacrilege, but in a, in a Reynolds fashion, I guess less is more. And maybe that was more emblematic of like the stoic stars of the seventies, but he really doesn't say a whole lot. I think my expectations were a little high after hearing Bill and them talk about this, this speech at the end. It's on, he said, it's like 15 words. He's like, all right, let's get out there. Let's win for these three guys. Let's go. And then they kind of run back out there. I wanted a little more out of that.

And then lastly, I don't know if this is a hot take, but it's clear Paul should have thrown the game. I mean, he listened to the pop who's been in jail for 30 years, took his advice so he could win a single football game. Paul Crew would be out in 18 months if he just blew that game. Kind of an obvious decision there. Clearly not worth it getting swept up in the moment. And then the only other thing I will say that I couldn't get out of my head during the movie is much like Bill Hader and Al Pacino,

I sometimes couldn't get Norm Macdonald out of my head watching Burt Reynolds, the great Norm Macdonald. To be honest, my first experience, my first time seeing what Burt Reynolds sounded like or even really looked like or really even learning who he was, was me watching old

SNL tapes as a kid and watching Norm Macdonald do the Burt Reynolds character on Jeopardy. So it's always weird when, you know, that was my first experience with Burt Reynolds was a fake Norm Macdonald, Burt Reynolds. And now I'm going back and having to watch them and weirdly trying to blend those two things together and also separate them. So that's my review. All right. We'll see you next time.