‘Road House’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
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The Rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where you can find The Watch with Chris Ryan. You cannot find Kyle Brandt because he's on NFL Network. You see him on CBS. Now there's no football. I don't know. Kyle Brandt just, what happens to you when there's no football? When JC Penney's coming because of me. That's what happens, Bill. Well, we've been circling this movie for 35 years and now it's here. Roadhouse is next.

How does a guy like you end up a boxer? Just lucky, I guess. Dalton's an unusual guy. And he's got an unusual job. His reputation is impressive. I run the show completely. And his demands are simple. Be nice until it's time to not be nice. Patrick Swayze. Do you always carry your medical records around with you? Saves time. "Roadhouse." Rated R. Now playing at theaters everywhere.

All right, Chris Ryan is here, the crank daddy himself. The guy who's going to be my regular Saturday night, Kyle Brandt. He's also here. It's Roadhouse, one of the most rewatchable movies, I think, from an action standpoint of all time. I can't believe we haven't done it in seven years in this podcast. I'm just going to start with a story, guys. Do it. This movie comes out in the theater. I don't see it. I think I'm a sophomore in college.

We decide to rent a movie from Blockbuster and we went Roadhouse. We were like, oh, Swayze. And I think Kelly Lynch was on the cover maybe. And we're like, all right, let's give it a whirl. And it's me and my buddy Jacko, who's been on our podcast many times, and my friend Nick Aida. And we just put it in.

And we didn't know what was happening for 90 minutes. We're like, is this a comedy? Is this a drama? Is what's intentional here? And we loved it. And I don't know when Roadhouse had the tipping point, but it had it. And by the early 90s, this became a basic cable classic. So Kyle Brandt, you grew up with this movie as well. When do you first remember seeing it?

It was a big sleepover movie for me. So same deal. You'd rent it and you'd pop it in. And, you know, I feel like I've seen the first half of this movie 58 times and I've seen the last half maybe 12 because we fall asleep. And we just try to get... You try to stay awake to the part where Dalton fights Jimmy and inevitably you would taper off. But I think you're right on it. When we would watch it, it was like, Bill, it's an action movie that's funnier than 95% of comedies. And it's just...

Back in the 80s, God decided we needed 114 minutes of fighting, smoking, drinking, screwing, motorcycles, monster trucks, and it all needs to be directed by a guy named Rowdy. And this movie, there's movies that entertain me more. There are movies I like more. I don't know if there's a movie that makes me happier than Roadhouse.

And I got to say, Chris Ryan, I'm very happy to be working with you too. Last couple of years, normally Bill and I do these one-on-one, but as in every episode we watch, we're watchable listeners. CR, like this is an honor. I feel like an eight millimeter and Nick Cage is like, hello machine. I love your work. Like you're my machine. This is pretty cool. The feeling's the same, miho. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. We usually, we could just bang out these action movies with two people, but CR, this, this is too important. A movie. It's too big of a movie. Yeah.

It's too lasting of an impact of a movie. And I don't know if there's an action movie I like more than Roadhouse. You know what I realized this time watching it? These three times that I've watched it this week because I'm just like, you know what? That was pretty good. I think I'm going to write it back. Roadhouse is the roadhouse of movies.

It is the perfect dive bar. Do you want to take a date there? Yeah. Maybe not. Are you trying to make a good impression? Maybe there's better places to go. But if you just want to light a dart, have a bud, maybe have like a fight or a game on in the background, and maybe some action happens that night, it's the perfect movie. You want to go back over and over and over again, even if your clothes stink when it's over.

And there's a lot of cigarette smoking, which is pretty much the fastest way to see our heart. Swayze, we'll talk about his cigarette smoking later. I wrote when we did the Action Hero Championship Belt, I wrote how we knew Swayze, he was outsiders, Red Dawn, dirty dancing. Mm-hmm.

So now he's dirty dancing is so big and so massive and crosses over. And it's like one of the ultimate date movies of the eighties. He becomes dirty dancing guy. So when this is out, it's like, what's he doing? Oh, you're, you're trying to shed the dirty dancing thing. Good luck, pal. Ain't happy. You're gonna be a bouncer the fuck out of here. And, uh, needless to say one of the great career moves, but I wrote the, uh, upon its release, we only knew Swayze is the red Don guy became the dirty dancing guy parentheses strike one.

The premise of Roadhouse, the world's greatest bouncer, strike two. Butts heads with a corrupt millionaire who keeps terrorizing the same bar, strike three, before murdering the world's greatest bouncer's mentor, strike four, and declaring war on the world's greatest bouncer, strike five. In the process, an entire town gets decimated, strike six. Oh, and we're supposed to call him a cooler, not a bouncer.

He, he, he's, he's elevated above and it's like, how did this movie work? This movie not only should not have worked, had more strikes against it than just about any movie, except maybe tango and cash from the action genre. So how does it work out? What's the secret to the success success? All right. Well, this is the crux of the movie. And I know there's different feelings about this.

Are they in on the joke? Are they doing it intentionally? And my answer is a hugely emphatic no. I think that's what makes it charming. I think Swayze is acting his ass off in this. I think he is playing it like it's a Kurosawa movie. Like if the samurai was like a chain-smoking, white trash, like a mulleted guy.

Even lines like... They have just unbelievably terrible lines. When he says, it's my way or the highway. That's like what a lame gym teacher says. Everybody... But he is playing it as if he is doing Shakespeare. And the reason it works is because really good actors doing really...

serious work in a ridiculous premise that you just laid out with all the strikes. That's why it works. Yeah, that's the key, Kyle. It's also, this movie looks good. This was shot by Dean Cundy, who shot a bunch of early John Carpenter stuff. He shot Jurassic Park a couple years after this. This movie does not look like a grindhouse movie. It does not look like a straight-to-video action movie. And I think that's one of the reasons why it's so rewatchable is because it actually is just like,

you know, the smoke filled bars, the like the shots, the fighting, they took their time to do the fights. Like it doesn't feel rushed or exploitive. It feels like they were taking it really seriously.

Yeah. The, the, everything you said, Kyle, I think that's why point break works as well. Two years later, same thing. I don't think they, you know, I remember they always said with star strip troopers that Casper Van Dien was the only one who didn't realize that it was a tongue in cheek movie and he was playing it straight and they were all like delighted on the set that he was doing it that way. Um, but I think in this one, I think you're right. Uh,

Listen, I asked once upon a time, is this a comedy? Is it an action movie? And it's obviously an action movie. But the question I asked 10 years ago, and I still don't know the answer to, is this the best bad action movie ever? Is it the best low-key action movie ever? Is it the most surprisingly entertaining action movie ever? What's the title, Kyle? What is it? What's the legacy in one sentence?

I think it's the funniest action movie ever. I'll go back to that. Oh. Yeah, who's even competing for that? That's how I look at it. I watch the whole movie with a smile on my face, even the serious parts. And I think some of what Chris is saying is right, too. It's super well produced. There's huge explosions. The score is incredible. The shooting is incredible. But listen, when we get to the, when do you take a pee break?

I don't have a lot of pee breaks in this movie. I got rid of that category. Just FYI. Like they're always smoking or drinking or screwing or fighting. Like there's no just real expository scenes. It's the tight movie. And I, I just, I find myself laughing so much when I watch it. It's stuff that they don't want to be funny, but I don't care. I, you can't have a butcher's girlfriend. All the girlfriends are awesome. Well, there's nine fights in this movie and the movie is what? An hour 50. Yeah.

Less. So from a sabermetric standpoint, they're just like, hey...

Audience might get bored here. Looks like somebody's going to have to have a table broken over their head again. Can I just jump in with the genre thing, Bill? Because you were talking about the action part of it. And I do think it's worth mentioning that the filmmakers and Swayze thought of this as a Western. And that's very conscious because all the characters, their character names have... They're referencing an iconic Western like Doc Holliday or Pat Garrett or whoever. Right.

But I think that this is basically like guy comes into a dirty town and cleans it up. And that is one of the quintessential Western stories. And if you combine that with a little bit of that late 70s, early 80s, beginning of the real action genre, like a bit of Bronson, Chuck Norris stuff, but with this guy who is essentially a trained dancer who

you know, doing Tai Chi out by the riverbank. I think part of the reason why it's so rewarding to go back to this movie is like, I had never seen anything like this before. And I'd never been in this world before as a teenager. I mean, to say nothing of the,

the just the the the glory of the the female form that is shown in this film like you just i didn't know that bars like that existed like to me the bar the only bars i knew were the ones that were like in a hotel lobby or something like that so this was my first exposure to the idea that all this crazy shit could happen in a bar well it was also and we've talked about this in some of the uh maybe less accomplished action movies kyle and i have done sure

This is 89 is the peak. Hell yeah. This is it. We, we, everything is building toward the end of the decade. All of our stars are in play. Stallone still humming. This is, I think the same year as Tango and Cash or it's right around there. Schwarzenegger's peak of his powers. Seagal has joined us. Bloodsport just came out. Van Damme is involved. He's in.

Um, we, Carl Weathers has made a run with action. Jackson snipes is coming. Bruce Willis is here with the diehard franchise. It's like when you look at NBA seasons, you're like, Oh my God, 93. Holy shit. Look at all these. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Keanu's coming in a second. Um, we just, it was an embarrassment of riches, but I think my favorite part of this whole era that we've talked about over and over again is the,

Not only people not being in on the joke, there's a lack of self-awareness. The Tai Chi scene, it just doesn't happen now. I know. Because somebody in the actor's camp, somebody would have said, hey, Patrick. So I saw this in the script. They're going to cut this out and it's going to go on Twitter and people are going to make fun of you. Like, don't do this. Do something else. See if you can go back. Maybe play the guitar.

If he did it now, it would just be meme to the bejesus and it'd be him doing the Tai Chi and it'd be like, when you get the kids to bed by eight o'clock, it just be, it would be a constant joke. But the Tai Chi is a really important part of it because to talk what CR was saying about it's a Western, it's a Western.

It's a cowboy, but there's also like this Jedi part of him where he's spiritually in line. And like one of the parts where you just laugh out loud is when he's getting stitched up from a knife wound and says, I have a degree in philosophy. Like what the fuck are you talking about, man? But that's Dalton. He's not just Charles Bronson. Like he's Charles Bronson plus like a scholar who's cleaning up bars in Missouri. That's what's funny. It's also David Carradine from Kung Fu wandering the earth with his like

With his philosophy, but also like, you know, solving crimes and cleaning places up. Well, he also is a voracious reader. That's right. Yes. Who's he reading there, CR? Jim Harrison. He's reading Legends of the Fall. Do you want to do the Jim Harrison? Sure. Should we save it for later for half-assed research? Swayze's run here goes Outsiders, Granville, USA, which is a weirdly important C. Thomas Howell, Jamie Lee Curtis movie. Red Dawn, Youngblood.

Really important Youngblood part. I don't think we've done Youngblood on the rewatchables. That movie's elite. Dirty Dancing Roadhouse. Next to Ken, which was kind of the Roadhouse- Same year. Adjacent. It's like a cousin. Yeah. Not a cool cousin either. It's a cousin that's had a lot of jobs and you're like, oh man, cousin Bobby's coming over. That's Next to Ken. Liam Neeson's in it. Ghost, Point Break.

And coming out of Ghost and Point Break, it felt like he was one of the five biggest male actors in the world. And then it just kind of, that was it. I don't know what happened, CR. What happened? Well, I think that he, as you can see from Roadhouse, and I will always associate him with this 89 to 93 period of going into and getting out of high school kind of. He had a look and he had a feel that was very late 80s and early 90s. And I don't know the necessarily transferred...

later than that. And then he tragically passed away younger than, you know, I mean, we lost him way too early and who knows what kind of work he had left in him. Bill, he only had like, he really only had five or six things that really hit. Yeah. But it's a testament to him that he had so few and he's got things still that you could scan TikTok right now and still see him and Demi Moore with the clay or

the roadhouse is like all over family guy. Like the five or six things that he did really, really work. And I, like, I hope that the Craig's and that the Tik Tokers know Patrick Swayze because he was different. And you and I, when we talk about these action stars, we talk a lot about body types and Stallone and Van Damme are all shredded.

Swayze is 150 pounds. I thought she'd be bigger. I thought she'd be bigger, yeah. Yeah, that's the whole joke. And that's the joke about him as an action star. Even as Bodhi, just a surfer's body. It was big in 89 to be jacked and have huge biceps. And he zagged, and it worked for him. Yeah, you know, it's interesting. I always find it fascinating to watch, if you think of actors on this highway, and you've got going one way is...

big jacked like action guys going towards acting and on the other way it's actors going towards being big jacked action guys and sometimes you just get something really special like

Like Bruce Willis or like Patrick Swayze or like Keanu Reeves. Or Val Kilmer. I never would have guessed in a million years that you would be in Die Hard or Roadhouse or Point Break. And here you fucking are. And that's kind of like the best moment in an action star's career is that you're surprising me, but you are also incredibly believable at kicking ass.

High approval rating with him in both sexes. Oh yeah. Guys wanted to hang with him. Women liked him from Ghost of Dirty Dancing. I mean, he had about as much cachet in that demo as you can get. There's that really hard to think of other people who occupied that territory, who somebody who could have been in a rom-com and Roadhouse. Because even you think about like,

Keanu, I think where he's probably struggled the most as an actor is anytime at some sort of like a love story. The Lake House. Yeah, like those kinds of movies. They've never hit. Bruce Willis, same thing. It's like, you know, I don't want to see Bruce Willis in like a Julia Roberts comedy, but Swayze could kind of go between both worlds, which is why he was so interesting. I have a, he created a bunch of quirks for Dalton, which I'm just going to read to you now.

Doesn't fly. Too dangerous. I like it. Just like Madden. Him, Madden, Tony Kornheiser. He had the Dalton Cruiser, actually. Yeah, three of the grades. Can stitch cuts himself? I don't know anyone who can do this, right? I don't know if you, as a bouncer, you learn to stitch cuts or it's just part of the process. Carries his medical records around with him. Saves time. Don't know anyone who does this. Hall of Fame smoker.

I don't want to go into this yet, CR. Kyle and I are just going to clear out. It's like we're on stage when the guitarist gets to come up and he's just working it. The lead singer goes to get a drink. Doesn't need anesthetic. He's good. Now, get that needle away from me. Pain don't hurt. Pain don't hurt. He drives an old Mercedes that he keeps under a cover that has 5,800 miles on it.

It's not even like that crazy nice of a Mercedes, but this is like his baby for some reason. Maybe it would have gone to the 70s. I have like 44 questions about this. That Mercedes is like practically a sob. It's a four-year-old crappy Mercedes. He's like, that's my baby. Number seven.

His mentor, Wade Garrett, can flirt with whoever he's dating. Sure. If you want to get super inappropriate, I'll just sit here and smoke my cigarette as you grind against the girl I'm interested in. Dr. Clay. Yeah. Outdoor shirtless Tai Chi, a staple. Doesn't flinch would be my number nine Dalton quirk. This is the Kobe Bryant when Matt Barnes pretending to throw the ball at him and Kobe just stared at him. Swayze was always good with the posture of...

In doing the head, the head turns, the telling the bouncers just doing this way or whatever. But he was just like, uh,

I don't know. He'd be good on TV, Kyle. Like he'd be good on Good Morning America. His body would never, Good Morning Football, his body never would have moved, right? He'd just be in the set, good posture. Well, that's the dancing. He can sit in profile like I do and suck my gut in for three hours a day. He could do it effortlessly. But he gets many flinch tests. Like there's a couple of times Jimmy tries them and he holds himself and he has beautiful posture. And then the last one I had was, we mentioned it earlier, Big Jim Harrison reader. Yeah. Any other quirks or were those the big 10?

I just love that he calls coffee leaded or unleaded. Awesome. Good one. Kelly Lynch, whose run was five years and included Cocktail Roadhouse, Drugstore Cowboy, Curly Sue, and Three of Hearts, which was actually a pretty good movie that's just been eliminated. I haven't seen that anywhere in 20 years. Had the big sting song. Who else is in Three of Hearts? Sherilyn Fenn and one of the Baldwins.

Oh, right. It was one of the threesome movies. Yeah, that's a good one. I saw that one on a date. Bill, you just sucked my battleship with Curly Sue. When I was watching Roadhouse on the Sleepover, my little sister was watching Curly Sue. It's a rough one. Yeah, Curly Sue's not good, but I think it made a lot of money. But then she was another one. We talk about this sometimes in the rewatchables. Like the leading actress, they have their three, four, five-year run. They just get replaced.

It's like the assembly line comes in. It's like, Oh, who's the next bond? Well, the casting would, if for this role too, is just mind blowing. It's great, but she's good in this. And then the one, the only Brad Wesley. Come on. Played by Ben Gazzara. Let's go. Um,

I would say the rarest of rare movie characters, the small town evil billionaire. It's an awesome, awesome bit. You don't see it often, right? It's a hard one to pull off. Yeah. I think that they basically get away with a lot of plot hole stuff by just dismissing that he owns the cops. So he's able to do stuff where you're just like,

So there's just no municipal oversight whatsoever of this town. There are no cops. Except for like a fire department sometimes. Yeah. But the idea of this guy... And you know what's really cool is like obviously Ben Gazzara is one of the great 1970s actors and is known so well from his work with John Cassavetes. And...

And he loved this movie. He was like, this movie is the thing that people come up to me and say they've seen. It's on all the time. I had a great time making it. And he imbues this character with just a few little details here and there. Whether it's mentioning that he comes up from Chicago, so you get the idea that maybe he's a Chicago mob guy who has come to Missouri to take over a town. And then also his...

at Red about being a draft dodger, like little things, like a little Republican war hawk guy. Right. It's just like that extra 5% that makes it like... It makes it just like a better villain than you would normally get. Because he fought in Korea. He's on record as saying it. And I think when you watch him, it feels like he's having a good time making this movie. It feels like he's just cooking. It's like Nicholson and the Departed or something. It's just like he's just chewing up scenery with reckless abandon. I also just...

I watch him and I feel like the movie doesn't work without him from the, from the opening. Shaboom is such a funny scene and way to open up. I love that character. Yeah. The best action movie villains. When we, when we did our Pantheon and we counted from level one to level 10 or whatever we did, like the ones that are the best are the ones that understand what their job is. And they're just, they're dining on it.

They're like, this is great. I'm going to have a great time. For the record, number one was Passenger 57 and 10 was Hans Gruber in Die Hard. Chris, do you think that when Gazara showed up on set for Lebowski, did the Coen brothers say, just do Brad Wesley? We just want Wesley. Well, one of the things with him, he's a two-time Emmy winner before he made this movie. He went to like real Emmys, like dramatic, whatever. So it's not like he was like a hack. He weaves between lanes and tries to drive people off the road.

He hosts rowdy outdoor parties where he puts on a pink bathrobe and a cigar. And it's just like, go to town. Everybody has a house with two pool tables in the living room. Yeah. Like even on cribs. I don't remember seeing the double pool table. You might want to host a nine ball tournament though. You guys are on table one. I'm going to be over here in table two. And he genuinely believes everyone has a destiny. That's great. Brad Wesley.

His linen game. You want to talk about that Kyle really quick? Yeah. I mean, listen, I know that, that ace Rothstein is the standard for male wardrobe in a, in a film, but like the, the Ben Gazara, Brad Wesley outfit, we we've gone through it. There is a, it nevermind Ken in the Barbie movie. Like it is, is Brad Wesley linen pants, linen shirt, leather vest, leather gloves. I mean, CR be honest. There's this, are you influenced by the fashion of this movie? Are you wearing bladed cowboy boots right now?

It's more the... I think I've drawn more from Patrick Swayze's pleated pants with the t-shirt tucked in. That's kind of my Sunday look. My Sunday red. But yeah, the Gazzara stuff is incredible. It's just like, how elegant and sort of gentlemanly can this guy be while also being an absolute psychopath? You get the feeling he went into wardrobe and they were like, here's what we picked for you today. And he's like, wait.

What if we take out switch? Give me that jacket instead. And what's your worst hat? I'll put that on and let's just go for it. I'm going to put on my Instagram after we put the podcast up, I'm going to put the, the, uh, Brad Wesley fashion show. The Brad Wesley look book. I tried to screenshot all his best looks. We mentioned this movie is directed by Rowdy Harrington. I don't not positive. That's a real person. It is, but yeah, I know what you mean.

Like the director didn't want to take credit and they're like, what name do you want to use instead for roadhouse? What about Rowdy Harrington? And they're like, directors come up with porn names. Like it's aliases. What's crazy about Roddy Harrington is it's not, when you look it up, it's not, um, you know, Michael quotes, Rowdy Harrington, his name is literally Rowdy and it's, it's not short for anything. That's his name. And there's never been a better match of director's name and movie. It's amazing.

No, I actually, I think you're right. This number one, did it call you? How many kids do you have? Two kids. Did you think a rowdy as a name or no? Was that on the board at all ever?

Probably more likely for the dog, but I have to shout out my friend Matt, who is a huge, huge Rewatchables and Roadhouse fan, and he named his son Dalton. And I'm not kidding. And this had a big influence on it that he loved the name and he got his wife into it. And he has a son named Dalton based on his movie. Did he tell his wife who they were naming the kid after?

I think she knew. Or was he just like, Dalton? What about Dalton? Am I crazy here? Yeah, you know, it's very distinguished. Like Timothy Dalton, you know? Yeah, exactly. Dalton's school. We can get him in there maybe. No, I think they were all in. That's like when I talked to my wife after she gave birth to Ben and was...

probably just an absolute physical wreck. And we were trying to figure out the middle name and I wanted the BOS initials. I'm like, let's do an O middle name. And I'm just reading her names. I'm like, Oakley, like Charles Oakley. He was fucking tough. Let's name him Benjamin Oakley Simmons. She's like, ah, fine, whatever. And now- Olajuwon. Yeah, Olajuwon would have been a good one. Ah,

$15 million budget for Roadhouse. It made $61.6 million, which I was kind of shocked by because I don't understand why I didn't see this in the theater in college. But it just didn't feel like people took it that seriously, but apparently they did. But-

When you throw in VHS, DVD, Blu-ray streaming, it's an estimated extra 200 million on all that stuff. And this was like a guaranteed VHS, DVD. And every male born between 1974 and 1982 saw this movie 347 times on cable throughout the 90s. Well, when we were doing the Ringer when we were in our old office,

And we wanted to put some props up. And I immediately got on eBay a Dalton Roadhouse stand-up video display thing that is still in our new office. I think we put a Celtics jersey over it. But Swayze's been with us for like seven years in our different video stuff. Our guy, Roger Ebert.

Two and a half stars. I'll take it. Let's go, baby. Yeah. I had the over, the over under was two for Raj. Yeah. I think that's right. He said roadhouse exists right on the edge between the good, bad movie and the merely bad. I hesitate to recommend it because so much depends on the ironic version vision of the viewer. I fuck you, Raj. This is not a good movie. Fuck you again, but viewed in the right frame of mind, it is not a boring one either.

Have some balls and say you liked it, Ebert. You gave it two enough stars. You can't be like, this is not a good movie. Come on. Fuck off. Come on, Rog. All right, we'll take a... This is not the most important review of the podcast, though, because producer Craig had never seen this movie. Great. And I don't think I've ever been more on pins and needles waiting for his review. We'll get that at the end. We're going to take a break, and then we'll do most rewatchable scene, and we have a few.

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So most rewatchable scene, this is tough because the entire movie from start to finish is rewatchable, but I tried to cut out some. Dalton shows up at the double deuce. He's watching everything. Hey, hotshot, what's wrong with a car from Detroit?

He gets recognized by the waitress pre-internet. Yeah. Oh, we, we have to talk about the, the underground media of bouncer and cooler culture and like who was doing the zines back then to let you know. Well, when he, in the first scene, when he's working at his old bar and Kevin Taggy comes, how do we say that guy's name? Kevin Taggy. But yeah, whatever. Um,

when he comes, where is that bar? What, what state are we in? Did they, did they give us the location? I don't think they did. They don't. So, you know, we know he's been to Memphis. We know he's been to Dayton. Now he's in, he's in Missouri. So I'm, I'm thinking middle of the, of the country somewhere. Yeah. Well, somehow they know who he is. Oh,

We get the first, I thought he'd be bigger. And then we get, actually it's the second. They know who he is based on first name alone. It's like Kobe. They're like, it's Dalton. Right. I could see this in 2024, but not in 1989. Yeah. And then Kyle, we get a bar brawl over a $20 breastfeel, which I think was the first time that's happened in a movie. Right.

Yeah, that scene feels like we're watching a crime be committed. Like, that is such a straight... Remember when we talked about Under Siege where Seagal plants one on her at the end and says, here's a move, and like, oh, is that even legal? The $10 per kiss where he just fondles her and then gets punched. God, that's a disgusting scene, but I loved it when I was 12. According to IMDb, those characters are named the well-endowed wife and sharing husband. That's a good spin for his name. I think that's actually a Philip Roth novel, too.

Swayze is great in this scene. Something about him surveying the room. Yeah. I'm trying to think who's been better at it. I mean, Daniel Craig, Bond, you know? I thought you were going to say Daniel Day-Lewis. Daniel Day-Lewis. Daniel Day-Lewis, Laurence Olivier, Swayze. A lot of this movie is Swayze just standing there at a bar watching. And that's the performance. He's got the charisma to hold the camera, as they say, and it works.

Next rule. This is when Dalton, he fires Terry Funk. He fires the drug dealing bartender and he lays down his three rules. It's three simple rules, Chris. All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice. Come on, honey.

I want you to be nice until it's time not to be nice, which leads to we get a definition for the word cocksucker. It's two nouns. If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Okay. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If you won't walk, walk him, but be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you and you'll both be nice. Okay.

I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal. Uh-huh. You mean called a cocksucker and personal? No. It's two nouns combined to elicit a prescribed response. I wonder if somebody calls my mama a whore. Is she? I need to tell this to my son as he plays contact sports. It's like, hey, two nouns, elicit a prescribed response. But Bill, let me ask you something. What if somebody calls my mama a whore? Is she? Is she?

Owned! Mic drop! Oh! There is a really good extra wrinkle to this opening coach's pregame speech that he does, though, where he says, people who want to have a good time won't come to a slaughterhouse. And we've got entirely too many troublemakers here, too many 40-year-old adolescents, felons, power drinkers, and trustees of modern chemistry. And it's so good because you're like, wait,

Dalton's read a book. Dalton's talking about trustees of modern chemistry. He's got a little bit of... He could be a pirate radio DJ on Pump Up the Volume or something. He can monologue a little bit. I think that came out the same year as this too, didn't it? Or close? Close too, yeah. Yeah. How far could Dalton have gone? If he was just typing in one scene...

And he was working on the great American novel. Would you have bought it? Hell yeah. He was like, oh yeah, all right. He's on chapter three. He might be able to figure this thing out. It's about a bouncer who may or may not have committed a murder. Next scene, Dalton beats up the old bartender and his buddies and then goes to get stitched up from Dr. Kelly Lynch. Do you enjoy it? If you really watch this carefully, and I've seen Roadhouse, God only knows how many times that this...

The dialogue of this, the mating ritual of the dialogue, I think every sentence is between two and five words. I'll give you a local. No, thank you. Do you enjoy pain? Pain don't hurt. Most of my patients would disagree with you. Okay. Do you always carry your medical records around with you? Saves time. Your file says you've got a degree from NYU. What in? Philosophy. Any particular discipline? No, not really. Um...

Man's search for faith, that sort of shit. Come up with any answers? Not too many. How does a guy like you end up a bouncer? Just lucky, I guess. It just kind of goes back and forth. I don't know what it would look like on a script, but it's just that nobody's saying anything longer and they're just like checking each other out and kind of circling each other. And we get the, do you enjoy pain? Pain don't hurt.

Do you ever win a fight? Nobody ever wins a fight. It's just, it's, it's just like, it's like David Mamet kind of dialogue, Kyle. Well, it is. And also, you know, if, and when the trailer came out for the Gyllenhaal roadhouse, it looks like this scene is in it because he actually even says that line about nobody wins in a fight. So I'm interested to see how much they take of it. I remember watching this movie once in college and we were like in this giant apartment and there was a bunch of guys and girls and

And this scene, every line, everybody laughed. Like just laughed when he says pain don't hurt, laughed when he says philosophy. And then when he says nobody wins in a fight, you're like, ooh. But Swayze's dead serious. Dead serious as always. Bill, do you think David Mamet was sitting on his Pulitzer from Glengarry and watched this movie and was like, man, I got to up my game. I got to step it up a tiny bit. Well, when I watch this with my buddy from college, Nick Aida,

This scene happens and Nick Ida screams out, you don't pick up a girl who just put staples in your side. That was an actual quote, which we thought was hilarious. And I wrote it down and it was became like one of my favorite quotes because it's true. You probably, that's probably not somebody you should meet. Shout out to Nick. Next scene, Brad Wesley's crew comes for revenge. This is the right boot scene. Okay. You're not slipping that by Swayze.

He's going to up and down you. He catches it from across the room. Yeah. This includes you're too stupid to have a good time. And biggest guy in the world, you smash his knee, drops like a stone. I still feel like that's pretty good life advice. Son of a bitch! You mean the biggest guy in the world, you smash his knee, he'll drop like a stone? No.

It's great life advice. Bill, if I was out on the road somewhere and I want to go to a bar where I was unfamiliar with the territory and the people, and I wanted to get a hold of some bladed boots, like what is the market for getting a blade? Can you go to Zappos and search? How do I get that at an army Navy surplus store? I don't know.

I was thinking custom made, but yeah, you're right. Maybe, I don't know, maybe search online. And what's, what is like the TSA policy towards bladed boots? Like, is that a no fly list kind of thing? No way. No way. No way.

What if you were like, these boots are my service animal? They're my comfort blade. Well, the blade's just always out, right? Always. It's tipped out. There's no way to like, you can't touch the shoe and make the blade recede into the shoe. In Cyborg, Van Damme has a retractable blade in his boot, but that's a different deal. This one is just out, unapologetically hanging out, ready to catch somebody. It's aggressive.

Wade Garrett saves Dalton from getting beaten up by four guys, then flirts and dances with his girlfriend for the rest of the night is my next rewatchable scene. Dalton has a dream buoy bottle broken over his head. Yep.

And is just taking body blows from Terry Funk for at least three minutes. And then Wade Garrett shows up and they fight him out. And it's like, hey, let's go get a beer. It's like, do you need medical attention? What just happened? He's fine. Dalton's always fine no matter what happens to him in these fights. But this is our big Wade Garrett. This is now we have two welterweights trying to take on everybody in the town.

Also, I think it's Apex Mountain for Dromboui. Not a really popular spirit. Anybody like a rusty nail? You need some Dromboui. And there were cases and cases of it. So much Dromboui coming to the deuce. Is it Dromboui or Dromboui? I don't know. Honestly, the first time I ever heard of it. Yeah. It's in classic bars. I want to say it's Italian. All right. Well, now we're really getting into the big ones. Brad Wesley's blonde friend...

Does a long striptease to Jeff Healy singing, I'm a hoochie coochie man. Play something Elvis. We do get some nudity at the end. Swayze seems like he's enjoying it. Yeah. But then does that, if you're going to have a pet, keep it on a leash.

Tough one. Tough moment after that. I thought she put a lot on that performance. I thought that hurt Denise's feelings. And then Jimmy Reno comes in. And to say that he owns the next two minutes of this movie would be a massive understatement. Kyle, what's your relationship with Jimmy Reno? Well, I have to recuse myself in part from this because I have some big takes on it coming up later. Okay, fair. But I have strong feelings on Jimmy Reno. Okay. Yeah.

CR, you want to test drive any early Jimmy Reno takes or no? I'll just say that him with the pull cue emerging there, like I know we've gotten glimpses of him before in the movie, but this introductory scene is like some real like,

Guy coming out of the bullpen to fucking enter Sandman. You know, like... He's wearing a necklace. It's like a shark-tooth necklace. Yeah, right. Marshall Teague plays this guy. And it is... It's fucking on. Because so far, you're like, oh, like, Brad Wesley's guys are like O'Connor and...

And John Doe. They're dipshits. Yeah, they're dipshits. You're like, oh, he's going to be able to figure this out in a week and a half. And then Jimmy shows up and you're like, so who hired the Navy SEAL to be here? It's crazy. It's kind of crazy that he didn't become a bigger star, Marshall Teague. But he's carrying himself. Not only is he...

you know, a little Chong Li-ish with like, it's, oh man, this guy's going to be tough to beat. But he's got the same homoerotic energy that Boggs has in Shawshank when he's checking out Red. I mean, I'm sorry, Andy. And it's just like, whoa, what's going on with this guy? Anybody get to you yet? Yeah. He really...

he's got that vibe. He's just intense. And you, so not only are you worried about Swayze, you're worried about Swayze. Yeah. Um, but when he does the three 60 flip, I think Jimmy might've, might've fucked bogs in prison too. It might happen. He did. He does the pole vault with a pool cue over the, the,

Over a sprawled out fat guy. Yeah. And I think the Chong Li thing is apropos. It also feels a little bit like the glass breaks in Stone Cold comes out. It's on now. To Chris's point, the jobbers have already had their ass kicked in four different scenes. Get Jimmy in here. He also does a great, you! Yeah. Which I think is a staple of these action movies with the villains. Fuck yes it is. With the points. Yes. And the super intense crazy eyes.

That scene's incredible. It is. It's like four or five minutes. It's just, and then Brad Wesley ends all of it by just shooting a gun in the air. It's great. Anytime that happens in a movie, the bullet never ricochets around and hits anybody. It's just, it's, it's fun. All right. I got two scenes left and then you guys can throw in ones. Um, I just wrote Dalton versus Jimmy. Yeah. Lines are crossed here. Um,

What's the name of the guy where Dalton's, he's renting the place from? Yeah. So Emmett's place gets set on fire. Jimmy drives away on a motorcycle, but not before stopping and doing like an all-time Austin Powers evil laugh. Where he's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. We get some outdoor karate. We get, I used to fuck guys like you in prison. One of the great lines in the history of action movies. I used to fuck guys like you in prison. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

We get real life stuff that I didn't realize until I did the research. I'm sure you guys saw this too, where Marshall T got hit by a couple of punches because they're doing everything. There's no stunt men. And then he rams a log into Swayze's stomach and cracks two of his ribs. And you can see Swayze, he's like, oh, like he kind of lets one out and they fight it out. And Swayze's like a fucking mess at the end. And then we get the throat rip, puts him in the water. See our pound for pound?

I know we're in like the John Wick era now where this is all choreographed a million ways. I, I, I, this is my kind of action. This is when we used to make things in this country, man. Yeah. Like this was like, these guys shot this for like, Oh,

like a long time. Five days. They shot it for five days. Like, like Swayze had to get his fucking knee drained after this. Like he was playing like for the bears in the eighties. Like it is nuts what they had to do in this, in this scene. It really looks like they're fighting Kyle. It all. Yeah. Also like, I'll just say like, there are moments where you're like,

Swayze's going to lose. Like, like you're like, do you really do get caught up in the idea of like, Jimmy's kicking this guy's ass. And I love that. And that's something we've talked about a bunch, Bill with Seagal, that Seagal never gets hit. He never takes any damage. He never gets punched. Swayze. It's a true back and forth. There's ups and downs. Jimmy wins a few rounds. Swayze wins a few rounds.

But to your point, it does feel that sometimes like they're like, you know what, guys? Rowdy just they call them over. He's like, you guys just go for it. Just go at it and I'll cover you. It feels like they're really fighting for a while. And you've been waiting for this fight for 90 minutes almost. And it's fucking awesome. And in the meantime, there's this Michael Kamen score that is dropping on it that sounds exactly like Die Hard that he did like a couple of years earlier. I feel like he almost just took like Die Hard leftovers and it works. And the ending is unbelievable. The throat rip is...

is jaw dropping. Yeah. And it's Chekhov's throat rip because they mentioned it earlier and you're like, oh, that's bullshit. Like that's just how like mythologies or urban legends get going. And like, oh no, that's like his move. That's like, that's in his bag. Yeah. Really fun. Kelly Lynch reaction to, you know, cause she's a doctor. She wades in to make sure Jimmy's not dead. And it's like, not only is Jimmy dead, his throat's gone. Yeah.

And then you're like, ah, they might not have a third date. This could have been it. I don't know if they're going back to the diner for corned beef hash. And then the last scene I just wrote, Dalton kills everybody, which includes Brad Wesley saying, I thought it would be fun to fight you, Dalton. No, you didn't. No, it's about to end here. And then everyone comes in and just takes, turns shooting Brad, which raises the question, why not do this maybe six months earlier? Yeah.

I don't know. Just fucking kill the guy. He's an absolute evil nightmare. The role of firearms in this movie needs to be discussed and we will do so at a certain point. Yeah. What did I leave out? Anything for rewatchable scenes? No, but I would like to kind of like say from my most rewatchable scene, if I can be greedy, I would love it for me. Dalton goes into the double deuce.

gives his speech and his first night at the double deuce, including horny Steve having a quickie in the walk-in freezer. Yeah, sure. That 20 minutes or whatever that is. 15 minutes is like eighties action movie heaven. Yeah. It's a pretty good stretch. I have a,

Dalton versus Jimmy. If I know that scene is approaching and I get to see the pool cue part and then that, I'm just in. What do you have, Kyle? The only other scene that I really like, especially as an older guy, I'll just call it Dalton gets invited to Brad Wesley's for breakfast and he walks in and Wesley just cooks and it starts with him saying, turn

Turn that shit off. And he yells at Denise. Nevermind. Denise was clearly beaten the night before. And he said, I don't want to hear that crap. And then Wesley does this amazing thing where he goes on that speech about, I brought the photo mat and seven 11 and JC penny. And then he takes a beat and he goes,

So I got a cousin in Memphis. Tells me you killed a man. And it's like, it's the craziest scene, but it's Ben Gazzara's best. And he's working that omelet and the drink, which I'm sure we'll get to later. Yeah, the whole time he's having his omelet. Yeah. It's so good. It looks like he's got like a carrot juice or something, or like a carrot and beet juice. Maybe. It was probably since it was 89, he's probably drinking V8. And he's like, this is good for you. It's definitely V8. 30,000 grams of sodium. And he just loves it.

We're jumping the gun and going to best quota exchange. Okay. Which we've mentioned a couple, but includes these nominees. I heard you had balls big enough to come in a dump truck, but you don't look like much to me. And then Dalton comes back with opinions vary. Great. That girl's got entirely too much brains to have an ass like that. Yep. These are like real things somebody typed on a typewriter. Yes.

When a man sticks a gun in your face, you have two choices. You can die or you can kill a motherfucker. I think this eventually became an NWA song. I got married to an ugly woman. Don't ever do that. It just takes the energy right out of you. Can you imagine if this was your high school yearbook quote? And then she left me for somebody uglier there. I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead. Well, you got your wish because you died about five minutes after you said that.

I see you found my trophy room, Dalton. The only thing missing is your ass. Yeah, at the buzzer. It's the best movie of all time. Obviously, the winner is I used to fuck guys like you in prison. You want to dive into this now? Just like I was, I remember just being like, what does that mean? So compliment or insult? I think compliment. It's a good question, though. It's an insult.

You think it's an insult? I think he's saying you're attractive. I think he's like, you'd be my bitch. Yeah. It's a complimenting insult. I remember Mike Tyson and Lennox Lewis had the meltdown at the press conference and Tyson yells at someone, I'll fuck you till you love me. And I was like, wow, what an interesting piece of psychology. And at what point would you start loving Mike Tyson for me to be instantly? But it's the same sort of thing that Chris is talking about. Yeah. What's aged the best?

Fucking hell. CR, what's your number one? What saves the best? The two coked up guys in the first bar. Oh, those guys are great. Gacked out of their minds. They're like, I've always wanted a piece of you, Dalton. I think I can take you. And it's just like, that must have been incredible cocaine. And I don't know what those characters names are, but it must be Charles and Charlie because those guys like jaws are like completely locked when they say that, even though they don't say it.

And I love that the blonde guy is like, hey, Moose Lips, get back here. It's like, just gets off to such a great start. I have a ton, but go ahead. All right, we'll go in order. Kyle, what's your first? I was just quickly building on something before. It is so charming and endearing in this movie that they try to convince us that bouncers are famous people.

Like they walk into the bar, Dalton and Wade Garrett, and it's like Magic Johnson and Michael Jackson just walked in. They're like, holy shit. It's like, do they have trading cards? Is there a magazine like CR said? Is there a cooler fantasy league? Cooler illustrated? I love that.

Yeah, cool to illustrate. They call it CI. And there's CI for kids, too. And I love that the bouncers are famous with no internet, no pictures, nothing. They just know. And the blind guitarist goes, ladies and gentlemen, Wade Garrett. And they go, holy shit. Wade Garrett's here? It's awesome. Great name. I think it's also just like, first of all, CI is a great idea, Kyle. I volunteer to write the 10 ways to spot a shoe blade from across the room.

That's great. Can there be a little poster in it too? But it's also like, Bill, you worked at a bar. At any point, at any time during working at a bar, did you know of any legendary other person who worked at a bar? No. I only remember the name of two bouncers in my entire life. Yeah. They're usually not personalities. But I guess the difference here is they were coolers. When I was writing for Page Two in the early 2000s,

I was trying to get it going where we called the guy who's not the closer in baseball, the seventh, eighth inning guys, which now are really called like the eighth inning guys. And I was like, those guys should be called the coolers. Like they're coming in, they're cooling it. And then the closer comes in. Comes in and closes, yeah. Let's call them cooler. I still feel like I was right, but nobody listened to me. My number one, what's aged the best?

Well, I have a tie. It's a one, a one B bands playing in cages. Awesome. Fuck. Yes. Blues brothers most famously, but just in general, you know, it's a pretty lit fucking place. If the band's in a cage, we like, we got to protect more bands should be like tonight. Fucking cage match. We're in the cage. We dare you to try and get in like, yeah. And then the other one I had, that's right up there too. And this is an action movie trope, but the,

I need the best. Who's the best? This is something, I don't know who did it first, but Roadhouse, I think, popularized it. And then it became a thing all the way through, like when Shooter with Mark Wahlberg came out, which we did on the pot a while ago. But it's like, who's the best? Hey, we got to get Shooter. Swayze just being the best and this guy in Jasper, Missouri, intuitively knowing I've got to get the best. Well, there's this guy.

He's in like outside of Chicago, but he's the best. And then that's it. But that's like the premise of 50% of the good action movies, right?

Yeah, it's like, who's the cooler guy? Who's the bigger enforcer? I mean, this came up in Cliffhanger a little bit where Stallone was the best mountain climber. The other guy's getting a little older. It's usually, it's like they're the Padawan, like the Qui-Gon and the Obi-Wan, and that's the case here. Like every which way but loose, Clint Eastwood was the best bare knuckle. Everyone knew who Philo Beto was. Oh yeah, Philo's in town.

Uh, Sierra, give me another one. Uh, anytime in a 1980s or 1990s action movie where several million dollars get wasted for no reason, like in this, where the monster truck goes through the car dealership and you're just like, really didn't do anything for the narrative of this movie. I was already in the bag that Brad Wesley was a bad dude, but we just decided to fucking destroy 40 cars because it's Joel Silver. And why not?

We've always felt that way, that that seems so gratuitous, that the point is made. You have all the male toys and beers and women. Let's fuck it. Joel Silver said, let's put a monster truck in there. And it's Bigfoot, too, the famous monster truck. Let's just smash some shit. I don't know if I need that scene, but it's badass. I want to say there weren't a lot of monster truck movie scenes in this movie.

At that point in time. I don't want to say this was the first one, but it's kind of the first wave of them. I can't think of many. Yeah. Because it was, I think, eye-opening first time seeing this movie. Like, whoa, look at that fucking thing. But now nobody would think that way. Sam Elliott's hair is a What's H's Best for me. That's awesome. Yes. Just looks great. My wife, who was kind of bummed out that I had to watch this movie twice in a 48-hour span, but did really enjoy the Sam Elliott parts, saw him at a restaurant.

about i don't know two months ago still looks great yeah i mean it has not aged much since he's he was seemingly turned 30 and looked like wade garrett yeah you know and has not really aged that much since then he is also maybe one of four white guys in american history who can convincingly call someone miho and you're like that's still pretty cool you got another what's edge best cow

Um, I just, just generally Swayze. We already hit on it. He's been gone 15 years already and I miss him. Um, Kevin Taggy, however you say his name. He used to be Roy DeSoto on a show called emergency in the seventies, which was my, one of my first two favorite shows that mod squad and emergency was like every episode, like somebody would get bit by a rattlesnake and they would have to like fix it. It was like very, but he was the lead of that.

And then, you know, he's basically the Michael Douglas of that show or whatever. And over the course of 20 years, somehow became character guy. He was the bad, kind of the pseudo bad guy in 48 hours too. He's in this movie and he just kind of morphed into whatever. There's a bunch of people in this movie who are like kind of adjacent to the Walter Hill movies of like the 80s. And you're just like, you see a bunch of them in like a bunch of like 48 hours, another 48 hours, all like extreme prejudice. Yeah.

credits I have for what's aged the best when the night comes falling that song's a fucking banger

I don't have that on a playlist. Is that Swayze? Is that Swayze's song? Because he's got two on the soundtrack, right? No, that's Jeff Healy. Oh, okay. He's singing it at the end. Yeah, it should be Swayze. Well, part of the reason the song is so good is because they're getting after it like in the swimming hole down in Jasper or whatever swamp they're mounting it. And he's like dunking her. It's so weird. It's an unbelievable way to end the movie. I don't know if they had an intimacy coordinator for that scene. Yeah.

We mentioned doing a shirtless Tai Chi. That's a, what's age the best Jimmy Reno, everything about him is age the best. The eternal question of was Dalton his first name or his last name, which is an actual conversation I've had at multiple points in my life. Could have done this for probably unanswerable questions, but the what's age the best of nobody ever really knowing if that was his first or if you had to guess, what is it, Kyle? I've always thought of it as his first name, I think.

but I thought it was his last name, but everybody just calls him Dalton. Yeah. Is there an answer? No. I mean, then the new roadhouse, the remake with Gyllenhaal, it's, it's his last name, but I don't know how like closely they're here. I think it's just like Prince or shares. He's just Dalton. That's all it is. I like that. My guess is it's his last name and his first name, like wasn't bad-ass enough. So he just dropped it.

Or his name was like, you know, Robert Dalton. He's like, I'm going to get rid of it. Kristen Dalton. Yeah. It is amazing that Andy Dalton didn't, wasn't a better quarterback when he had the last name Dalton. It just feels like that should have propelled him. It's true. Nobody ever wins a fight ad for what says the best. The line. Hey, vodka rocks. What do you say? You and me get nipple nipple. That was in a script. Nuanced. Oh, CR. Here's a good one.

Anytime our hero is hiding a secret. Yeah. Don't. The Memphis secret doesn't seem like something Dalton would be like massively ashamed of. Yeah. Why is he so carrying that around so heavily? Like he's from war. Is it just because it was a love triangle and he like made himself vulnerable and it turned out the woman was married. Like I never really got that. It feels like there's a missing scene where they're back at the diner and he's like, I never wanted that guy to die. Yeah. But sometimes in a fight, that's,

that's why nobody ever wins a fight. There's some Swayze monologue we just never got. But Garrett's great. He says, if someone points a gun at you, you can kill him or get killed. And so Jimmy points a gun at him at the end and he fucking rips his throat out again. Like he sees it coming. Any other what's the best for you, CR?

Just the ripping the throat out move, actually. It still gives me chills to this day. How many times has that even happened in movie history where a guy pulls that move? One. Yeah. It's one of those action movie moves where you're like, that never occurred to me. Didn't know throats could actually be ripped out, to be honest. Well, Chris, haven't you ever, because of that movie, kind of felt your own throat? I have. Could that happen? Is my own throat vulnerable? Yeah. So...

The stunt woman, Julie Michaels, who does the strip tease and he tells her to get your pet, put her on a leash, whatever he says. She was an actual stunt woman and then eventually has the famous fight in Point Break. Yeah. So which one? The one with Johnny Utah when she's naked in the shower when they raid the surfers? That's her, right? The naked one? Yes. See, that's a crazy fight. That's really cool.

Cause she fucks Keanu up. Yeah. She's a stunt woman who's like, yeah, I'll, I'll get naked and get in a fight for whatever. And she was just kind of, kind of a one of a kind. Uh, there's a famous family guy episode about roadhouse that we have to put in what's aged the best. And then, uh, the concept of nobody ever wins a fight because the wood stage is best. You have anything else here? No. For what's aged the best. I think that's pretty much it. Okay. Um, all right, let's take a break and then we'll hit some of the other categories.

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It's a Camry vibe. Learn more at toyota.com slash Camry. All right, some quickie words. The Kid Cudi Pursuit of Happiness Award, best needle drop. Jeff Healy playing White Room, coming right off like a poignant scene all of a sudden. And we get to see him with the guitar on his legs just going, we should have put Jeff Healy in what's aged the best, by the way, because I think he's great. The Big Kahuna Burger Award, best use of food and drink.

I had any of the 20 beer bottles broken over someone's head. I don't know. What did you guys have? I'm going to breakfast at the Wesley's, Chris. I bet he has the flakiest eggs and a beautiful Bloody Mary. I know Dalton was like, fuck you. I don't want to be here. There had to be something in his brain. Like, shit, I'll eat some eggs. It looks fucking good. He's like, I need the protein before I go to work. Is that an omelet?

Mine is similar. It's breakfast themed. It's the morning beers that Wade and Dalton are having with Elizabeth. At that diner, the diner has a Colt 45 neon sign up. But the funniest part about that scene is they've obviously been drinking all night and they go to this diner in the morning. There's like a family sitting in the back of the diner eating breakfast. And I was just like, can you imagine that?

with your kids at a diner and fucking Wade and Bratt and Dalton are just like slow dancing with the doctor. I would be like, isn't that the town doctor? I'm supposed to get my, I'm seeing her next week. Why is she still pounding Miller? Genuine draft. It's almost time for work. She's looking at a lump on my back. Two hours. Uh, the,

The Den of Thieves Benihana Award for scene-stealing location. It's either the double deuce, just the outside shot of it, which is amazing, or that lake where Brad Wesley and Emmett live. What would you guys go with? I'm going with Wesley's house. Yeah. The whole lake, everything. Great compound. CR, what do you have for the Great Shot Gordor Award for most cinematic shot?

Not any one shot. There's like a bunch of really good ones. It's just kind of to reiterate that Dean Cundey shot this and that, you know, he's, he's really, really good. And this movie looks way better than it has any business being. Well, we rarely get to give out these two awards, the Vincent Chase award. Are we sure this character was actually good at his job? Wade Garrett, like. God damn it, Bill. That's exactly right. He's 138 pounds. 144. Clay Thompson-y.

What is his fighting style, Kyle? It's just taking punches. Yeah, he just takes big punches and then just throws giant telegraphed roundhouses. Terrible. I think that Wade on any given night can get hot. I think he can put together a nice Wednesday night. Ooh, like Gleek Pass alert. Wade Garrett's beating the shit out of a guy. But I

I think one of the things that you could make an argument is that Wade makes Dalton a little bit weaker because it makes him more emotionally vulnerable to have Wade around. Definitely. That's a good point. But Wade doesn't really win that many fights. You know what it's like, CR? It's Chris and Neil McCauley. Yes. Mm.

he should be able to walk away from anything in 30 seconds. He really likes Chris. So did you see the Twitter video of Austin Butler practicing firearms at a gun range? And everybody thinks it's because he's going to play Chris and he too. Oh, fucking awesome. Come on. Yeah. Oh my God. Do you like that? After Ferrari? I'm not sure I want Miami vice or he too. Any, it might be time. Okay. I'm coming back around on it. He seemed very committed to it.

We never get to give out this award. The Elizabeth Shue as an Oxford Electrochemist Award.

rarely gets given out, goes to Kelly Lynch as the smoking hot ER doctor with an old school red Wrangler. This person does not exist. I know. And I love that we're referencing Elizabeth Shue and her mastering of cold fusion for Val Kilmer. It's a great category. The Kelly Lynch, wildly improbable, small town, 10 out of 10, statuesque doctor. Single, doesn't appear to have any baggage. She was in a relationship once, didn't work out.

But there's like a Brad Wesley kind of liked her, but we don't even know. Oh, I thought she was with Brad and left town to get away from him. You think they were in a relationship? No, I don't. I think, I think he was probably getting creepy with her and she got, uh, got a little scared of him. He kept, he kept showing up at the emergency room to have moles checked out. Five guys.

In a monster truck. The Butch's Girlfriend Award for weak link of the film. We already talked about it. There's just no police in this town. They have a massive fire department. There's no police anywhere. And you're just supposed to overlook this unless, I don't see how that's not the Butch's Girlfriend unless you guys have another candidate.

I mean, this is my hugest picking. It is just like the lack of any kind of like like cursory law enforcement showing up to any of these fights anywhere. Well, that idiot shows up at the end. He goes, now, what the hell happened here? And it's like the county sheriff and Jimmy's throatless body is still floating in the pond. There's five guys shotgun to death. Birds are eating Jimmy's body. They are. How much would it cost to just buy off a police department?

That's a great question. Is there like, what's the price? Is it like a hundred K a year? You get everybody? Don't get any ideas. 500 K. I'm just curious. All right. What's age the worst? My number one. Why doesn't Dalton kill Brad Wesley?

He's ripped the guy's throat out three days earlier. He's already killed multiple people. Because of what Elizabeth says to him. Of like, if you're here to protect us from Brad, who protects us from you? So if he turns into the thing that he's fighting, he will be seen by her and the town as like just as bad. I just disagreed with the logic. I completely, I agree with you. I'm just saying that their fight is actually, it sets up the last confrontation pretty well because she's just like,

you're the thing that we should be worried about. Like you think you can just go around kicking everybody's ass because you don't like the way things are working. There's that scene in the x-ray room where it gets pretty heated. He gets a little handsy and she's letting him like, you're just as bad as he is. It's a good point. Thoughtful. Thank you. What stage is the worst? The haircuts?

Yeah, but they're pretty cool. Not sure any of those have come back, even though I loved them at the time. It's Sam Elliott's pubes I had as a What's Aged to Worst. Not sure I needed to see a couple of those. Hey, Bill, I had that as Great Shot Gordo, so speak for yourself. That's right. 50% of the screen is his pubic hair, so you're not turning the screen. Imagine on a 50-foot screen. Jesus. What do you have, Kyle?

All right, what's aged the worst? We spend most of the movie in bars and roadhouses, and there's never any televisions showing any sports whatsoever. No sports at all. It's Missouri. And let's just think about this. It's 1989. We're outside of Kansas City.

The Royals have a center fielder named Bo Jackson, who is the biggest thing in all of sports and is running back for the Raiders. I never see a Royals highlight. In the meantime, the Chiefs just hired Schottenheimer from the Browns. We got Derek Thomas. We got Christian Akoye. Kansas City sports are big right now. And in all of these bars, not a single so much as like a local sports team covering Brett Saberhagen or anything like that. It's jarringly missing. These people need sports.

Honestly, it's what would have brought this town together. It's like Brad Wesley coming over to Reds and Reds like, Jesus Christ, you see Saberhagen last night? That guy was dealing. When did the Royals, they won, when did Saberhagen win? It wasn't 89, but it was right around this time.

Yeah, that's a great point. And the Chiefs, Montana is about to show up at the Chiefs like two years later. Well, they're about to go on a run. They're in the playoffs every single year. They got great Hall of Fame players. It's a big Chiefs time. It's about to happen. Sucks. Need it. More wood sage to worse for me. The theme song that we get for the opening credits, don't throw stones by the Cresados. Yeah. Yeah.

It's really show up in a, from dust till dawn. Yeah, they do. They play that band, that bar, the listen, it's fine. It's like a C plus, but then we get the closing credits. It's just like, there's no contest. What do you have? CR? I just think that the Jimmy fight,

It's a much better denouement for the climax of the movie than the Wesley fight. With the animals and all that shit. And this happens sometimes. This is kind of like... You could say this is the Apocalypse Now helicopter problem. Does anything ever top the Flight of the Valkyries helicopter attack in Apocalypse Now for the rest of the movie?

Now in that movie, it kind of works. The Fugitive had this too, where the fight scene at the end actually wasn't the best part of the movie. So it's like basically that fight with Jimmy is,

Should be the last fight. It should be Brad being like, you're going to fucking come to... You have to go through Jimmy to get to me. And they do the fight and Wesley sees him tear his throat out. And Wesley pulls a gun because he's like, oh, okay, now I have to kill Dalton. And that's when the town people show up and kill him. So I just think that when... There's also that weird thing where Dalton is running back and forth between the bar and the hospital. Yeah. And is like...

totally recovered from his fight with Jimmy. It almost feels out of order and getting beaten up by four guys. I was going to do this and pick a nits, but I'll do this now. I think the solve, they have Terry Funk there. Yeah. Who's coming off like an incredible performance and over the top. And then he's in this, he's still a good wrestler. Uh,

But when Dalton's cleaning up at the end and he's killing everybody, we don't even see him fight or kill Terry Funk. He's just lying dead on the ground. It's like, Terry Funk should have been the last guy and he beats Terry Funk and then it's Brad Wesley. But that Terry Funk fight should have been like three minutes. He feels like a video game boss. And they also have the relationship earlier in the movie. And you're a dead man. He says that too. Why didn't Funk get a fight? That's stupid. You're right. I also think...

It's not what's aged the worst, but it's like you missed an opportunity here. Keith David is in this movie as the bartender. Let's go. Keith David could have fought John Doe for the bartender belt. That's true. And I think that's just they left money on the table there. So Keith David gave an interview. Did you read it? No, I didn't see this. No, I didn't talk about it. He gave an interview with Vulture about his career.

And as people know who listen to the rewatchables, we love Keith David. And this is prime Keith David. They live like it's really, he's starting to take off as you see him in a movie. You're like, I love that guy. Yeah. So they asked him what happened with Roadhouse. Here's his answer. Roadhouse was great. Roadhouse got me into my new car and it moved me into a new apartment. It was a four week job that turned into 11 weeks. I had a great role, but

I got to fight with Terry Funk and a couple other guys. I had a really good time. The day after the wrap party, Rowdy Harrington called me. He said, Keith, I've got three and a half hours of movie that I've got to cut down to 215. So I'm sorry, buddy, but you've got to go.

Ah, it's tough. Devastating. Where's the fucking director's cut? I looked. It's not, none of it's on YouTube, but I don't know why we don't. We need the Keith David cut. It sucks. So if they released a Roadhouse three hour extended cut, what's your initial reaction?

I'm fucking in. Let's go. I'm going to watch. Put that in the fucking theaters. Put it on IMAX for $30. So he fights Terry Funk in the movie? That sounds awesome. So my guess is, and I did a deep, deep, deep dive on this and was reading different people's takes.

So Dalton's cleaning house, right? New bartender. Yeah. And he was named Ernie. So they gave him a name. And I guess Ernie was like trying to clean up the bar side. Yeah. And Rowdy Harrington's like, we're good. We don't need it. Morewood stage is the worst. The lip syncing by the waitress singing with the Healy band. That's an annoying scene. Brutal. That's just like brutal 1980s stuff.

Can you really rent a lakeside barn loft for a hundred bucks a month? That's a great question. No AC in the summer though. And it stinks of horse shit. So yeah, maybe. I was so triggered by the no AC. It bothers me for the whole movie this time around. Now that we're an adult, like I need AC. It must be so hot. He's also rocking jeans with no underwear. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it's a clamp bank down there. Um,

Another what's aged the worst, I just don't like when Brad Wesley kicks the crap out of the one guy and his crew. I'm sorry, boss. I'm sorry, boss. Get this piece of shit coward out of here. And then we see him one scene later. Nothing really happens. Killing the fat guy with the stuffed grizzly bear. It just doesn't work. The guy's not even dead. He's immobilized for five seconds. So this one really bothers me, guys.

just leaves his old job. Doesn't give the two weeks notice. Yeah. Just quits. So our, our first, our first meeting with him, he's like, this guy will quit on anyone. We just watched it. I don't know. I didn't, I don't totally trust him. Maybe I got to finish my job here. I got to, I'll got to give two weeks. My bigger question is, are,

are the changes that Dalton makes to a bar pretty permanent? Like does that bandstand place that he's quitting immediately backslide into like Coke Den fucking fight town? Or is it like the guys who he's hired there of like, keep, keep the food network, Chris, that you'll have these like restaurant nine one ones and all that. And they'll go in and they'll save the restaurant. Most of them go out of business like 20 minutes after the guy leaves. I think it may fall back. He's the original Gordon Ramsey. Yeah. Yeah.

Kyle, where do you stand on this? Yep. Brad Wesley's running Jasper, Missouri. But as far as I can tell, there's one bar, there's a diner, there's an auto parts place. Which he blows up. There's a dealership. And he says there's a JCPenney in Little City. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming. 7-Eleven. So I don't know how many stores and restaurants and how many businesses are in this town? Less than 10?

Yeah. And like Chris says, he blows up two of them, I think. Yeah. So he runs the town, but yet doesn't seem to own anything in the town, even though he's a billionaire who flies around in a helicopter. Why doesn't he own more stuff? I'm going to guess that there's a steakhouse. It's where Brad goes on Friday nights. Brad was a steakhouse. And I think that they probably do a nice chop there. You know, like you can, you can go and maybe there's a coffee place in Jasper, Missouri. Like, no, because I think people went to

diners i mean you hear dalton he's calling it leaded or unleaded they're not making cortados blockbuster no uh porno video though maybe is there an adult bookstore like maybe on the highway yeah was there a little downtown stretch was there like an ice cream store where do people get ice cream in jasper missouri i don't know i think there's an ice cream parlor i don't even know what his money is from they don't really get into it i think it's a chicago mob but who knows yeah uh okay all right

The last What's Aged to Worst I have is Roadhouse 2 with Jake Busey, which we've all agreed just didn't happen. Fuck off. Yeah, it's not fun. Jake Busey or Jake Gyllenhaal? Busey. Jake Busey. Oh, Busey. Okay. They made a remake, yeah, or a sequel. The fact that they blew the sequel piece of this really is frustrating. Any other What's Aged to Worst for you, CR? I think that, like...

personal injury lawyers would probably put coolers into extinction now. Right. Like, so like just the idea of just, you might get your fucking head knocked off if you push, push it like around in a bar. Like, I think it's a lot more like litigious now. So I think that's probably caused the cooler to be a rarer thing, but you know, our, some of our, our more bar friendly people can tell me if I'm wrong. Hmm. Was there a better title for this movie? If this movie is called the double deuce, is it better or worse? Yeah.

Maybe better. Let me ask you a question. Do you guys know the difference between a roadhouse and a bar? Do you know what that even means? I think a roadhouse has got to have a band. Okay. Well, I looked it up because I didn't know. And when you search it, it finishes the sentence for you. And basically, a bar is in a city or suburb, and roadhouse is supposed to be secluded or next to a highway. It's basically kind of isolated. But I think that's the only difference. I agree. I think band when I hear roadhouse. Double deuce, I think, works. Double deuce. I like them.

All right. The Stephen A. Smith hottest take award. Do you have one, CR? Yeah. All right. Let's hear it. Let's go. I think I prefer the old double deuce. And I think Dalton is a gentrifier. You know, like...

What are we looking at here when the double deuce is done getting cooled, is done getting cleaned up? It basically looks like a fucking TGI Fridays. The guys are wearing red polos. Everything's clean. You can't get into trouble. It's like, you know, like we've got Jeff Healy and the waitress are singing 60s soul songs. It's the kind of place you might even take your family at like five o'clock for like

You know, there's probably an arcade in the backseat coming to double do. What are we going to have a fucking ball pit soon? Like, come on. The double deuce is like what this country was built on. There's sawdust on the ground. There's blood dripping from people's noses. Everyone's on Coke. Everyone's got a switchblade. That's what we want. You know,

That's a great call, Sarah. Chris, I think that at one point, once they go to the Color Rush bouncer shirt, I think also they have like a synchronized birthday song that they sing for people at the Double Deuce. You know what I mean? That type of shit. You're right. It's a great take. Yeah, they turn into Coyote Ugly. Have a double happy birthday from the Double Deuce. And they blow out the candle. Fuck that. You're right. Great call. Do you have one, Kyle? I do. Yeah. We mentioned this earlier. I think that the line, I used to fuck guys like you in prison.

is the greatest line ever uttered by a villain in any movie ever. And I really think that. It is a full spit take, what the hell did he just say? Rewind that shit right now. Up to that point,

Jimmy is just this kind of stock standard issue square jawed villain or anything about him with one line of dialogue. He's terrifying. He's layered. He has a backstory. He raises questions. Is he a homosexual? Is he a rapist? Is he both? It's like, I want a Jimmy prequel based on one line. And I feel like,

Since the last Avengers movie, Marvel has spent five years trying to give us an interesting villain that we care about. And this movie did it in nine words. I love it. And it's not guy. It's guys in prison. He was serial. He did this for a long time. He was like Schillinger and Oz. Oh, my God. He just would go for it. Oh, no. Jimmy's coming. It's also maybe the best single line of shit talking I've ever heard. Yes. Can you imagine...

Let's think about this. We've seen guys in sports, like in the NFL, who go to prison and then come back. Usually they become Eagles, Chris. Can you imagine if somebody said that on the field and it was like, NFL presents, mic'd up, and some guy said to another player, like after he throws for a first down, I used to fuck guys like you in prison. It would blow up the world. It is an incredible incendiary dialogue. Somehow I don't think it would make it to mic'd up. You don't think they would let it in? NFL films presents.

Mic'd up. It's just an outstanding line. I'll never forget it. I couldn't agree more. And I couldn't agree more that the Jimmy Reno prequel would have been incredible. Oh my God. Jimmy Reno as shot caller. See, are you in? Absolutely. Like Jimmy Reno, like running the yard would be incredible. Mayor of Kingstown or something. All right. My hottest take. Did Brad Wesley kind of have a point? Go on.

Came up from the streets of Chicago, served our country in the Korean War. Jesus Christ, Bill. He brought a 7-Eleven to Jasper, a Photosmart, a JCPenney. He's just trying to make this town a real town. Without Brad Wesley, they wouldn't have had any of this shit. They're just in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, but he's taking a piece from Red and Emmett. Well, he's taking a piece of a town he created, Chris. That's right. He created the Jasper Improvement Society. Yeah.

Maybe the guy cared about Jasper just a little too much. He's a music lover. He loves wildlife. Had big parties. Go over to Brad's on a Friday night. I didn't see anyone else having big parties. Could it be that Dalton is the villain in this movie and he ruins it for Brad Wesley? Maybe the town should have given in to Brad a little bit more. Maybe Brad had some good ideas. All right. Cast it with ifs.

Swayze was originally cast in Kurt Russell's role in Tango and Cash and pulled out to make Roadhouse. Okay. I think that's a win all the way around. Yes. It's just a W every which way. Well, Kurt Russell's not going to play Dalton, right? It doesn't work that way. I don't think you can do the swap and have Dalton be the same, like reading Jim Harrison. It's too close to Snake Plissken. Yeah, he'd have to make it different. And then, CR alluded to this earlier, the original Kelly Lynch part was Annette Bening. Yeah.

And Kelly Lynch claims, who knows? This is like, we're seeing this now with the NBA Explorer podcast boom. When people just say shit on podcasts, you have no idea what happened and what didn't. But Kelly Lynch claims Benning was fired due to a lack of chemistry with Swayze. I'm not buying this. How come?

I just, cause I think Annette Bening's a good actress. I think she would add chemistry with Patrick Swayze. It would be great if Annette Bening won the Oscar next week and you went to the press conference and you were like, Annette, Bill Simmons, the ringer, just wanted to clear up the rumor about you being in Roadhouse. Just wanted to find out more. They tried to get James Garner from the Rockford Files for Brad Wesley. Harrington pushed hard, couldn't get him. Scott Glenn turned down the role of Jimmy Reno. Oh man. So they settled for Marshall Teague.

That would have been an interesting one with Scott Glenn. I don't know about the fighting, but definite scumbag. He could do well. I mean, he's doing Silence of the Lambs two years later. Like, that's a crazy time. And then John Doe was Pat the Bartender, who Swayze fires, then he comes back. He was the lead singer of a 1980s punk band called X that I guarantee CR has a CD of. Love him.

The world's a mess. It's in my kiss. Come on. I love Vex. And that's our guy from Boogie Nights, right? That's Amber Waves is the father of the daughter. Right. My wife is a pornographer. Just nukes her in court. Tough scene. What an IMDB for that guy. And then this is like a casting. What if sliding doors post movie? Swayze hurt his knee during filming, which Sierra mentioned earlier and ended up turning down Predator 2.

and did Ghost instead because Ghost didn't have the same athleticism because his knee was still fucked up. You're talking about the Danny Glover role, the lead in Predator 2? He was going to play Mike Harrigan. I don't know who that is. I don't know who that is either. I think that's Glover. Yeah. Wow. Oh, yeah, it'd have to be the lead, I guess. So we ended up doing Ghost instead. The Ruffalo Hannah Rubinick Partridge Overacting Award. They knew, and they let it happen. Don't you call me lady! I come in here, I give these things to you.

And the Teddy KGB actor doing their own thing award. That's got to go to Ben Gazzara's Brad Wesley, right? Oh, see, I had it. I had overacting for Pat Swayze dragging Jimmy's dead body into the lake and going, Wesley! Oh, yeah.

I had it for Kelly Lynch. Who's going to save him from you? That was my backup. All right, fine. We'll give it to Kelly Lynch. Who's going to save them from you? You think you're going to save them? Who's going to save them? Joey Pantsel, we're best that guy. We mentioned Kevin Tagge, however you say his name. Yeah. Terry Funk. Gary Hudson is the Mr. Saturday Night. You're going to make it my Saturday night. He's one of those guys. But I think the winner is the waitress, Katherine Weaheit.

who played Carrie Ann. She was Chloe in ER, was the damaged sister of Sherry Stringfield. She's one of those people. Dion Waiters Award. But there are so many people in this movie where it's like Alan Graff, like a lot of stunt guys doing roles. They're coming out of our ears. Dion Waiters Award. I'm in awe looking at my iPad at this threesome in the finals. Sam Elliott, Jimmy Reno, the prison rapist, and Terry Funk.

I think I go Jimmy. Yeah, I think it's Jimmy too. He's only in like four scenes. Yeah. I think Sam, Sam kind of like, he comes out out of the gate and his first three minutes are stunning. That's amazing. And then he kind of is, I think got kind of chopped up and out of the movie with the, like you wait here for me at the bar. Wait, I've come back. And like, how do we not see Wade Elliott's death scene? Like that's fucking crazy. Or Terry Funk's death scene. I know.

Kyle looks sad. For the people listening, Kyle's genuinely sad. He's like, I know. You messed me up emotionally by saying there's a three-hour cut where Keith David fights Terry Funk. I feel like something was taken from me. But I want to shout out one actress, Dawn Ciccone.

Don Ciccone is the girl who comes in and ends up in the closet, the regular Saturday night thing. The IMDb is crazy. No credits before, no credits since. Just one and done, which means this woman, somewhere in her life, I'm sure gets into conversations about, I used to be an actress and I was in this Patrick Swayze movie. Holy shit, which one? Roadhouse. Wow, what role did you play?

I was Steve's regular Saturday night thing in the closet. Jesus, what a burden to carry around. That's the only thing she's ever done. Don Ciccone. Well, Marshall Teague, I think this was the peak for him, right? Yeah. I mean, he's in tons of movies afterwards. He did a bunch of Michael Bay movies in the 90s. I mean, he stayed busy. Recasting Couch, they were going to make this movie as a remake in 2015 with Ronda Rousey, and then she lost to Holly Holm and it fell apart. And now we have...

This Jake Gyllenhaal movie, which we've avoided talking about. We're almost an hour and a half into this podcast and you're not intrigued. I'm intrigued. I'm intrigued. It's not the reason we're doing this podcast is because the Gyllenhaal movie is good. I do think it affects the roadhouse. It affects the search. It affects when we sit on cable guide, it feels like a little bit of an end of a 35 year era, but there's a possibility of the new one will suck and we'll still get to keep our original Swayze one. Um,

All right, semi-new category. We started this at the Lab Tour. Would the director's commentary for this movie be better with Tony Romo or Chris Collinsworth? I think actually that's a great one. I think Romo could get really excited about it. I was like, Jim, he's got a shoe blade, Jim. He's going to get him, Jim. Right boot, Jim. Right boot, Jim. He's fucked guys like him in prison, Jim. But Collinsworth would enjoy...

Oh, Mike. I mean, Jeff Healy, he can't see, but he plays with something deeper than vision, Mike. That's a guy you can build a roadhouse around. Yeah. I mean, what do we ask him to do? Classic rock. He can play it. Blues. He can play it. He's got all the town gossip. Mike, I just love a Jeff Healy.

I don't know. The throat rip? Wade Garrett's taking off his pants, Jim. He's zipping it out into the restaurant, Jim. Oh, no. Oh, Tony. They both did great. Maybe together. Brad Wesley's out of control, Jim. Half-assed internet research. Marshall Teague told a story that he took his mom to the premiere and the fight with Dalton happens. And he said, I used to fuck guys like you in prison. His mother jumped up and proudly shouted, that's my boy. Yeah. I don't know why he'd make that up.

I think that we should have some kind of

This should be like, not an award, but it's like, it's basically like, I used to fuck guys like you in prison. Yeah. Award? If you wait a certain amount of years in between Roadhouse viewings, you kind of forget he says it. Yeah. And when he says it, you're like, oh my God. But like, it's like almost like you memory hold it for just like, if you wait a certain amount of time. Oh my God, I forgot a word. Yeah. The oh my God, I forgot. Yeah. The I used to fuck guys like you in prison award for best memory hole. All right. We'll workshop it. Holy shit.

Shit. That's great. All the actors did their own studs. Sam Elliott said, I fucking got the shit kicked out of me for the entire film. They're all trained by Benny the Jet Arcades, who has nine black belts. And he was convinced that Swayze could have been a competitive kickboxer. It really seems like Swayze was a great athlete. Yeah, he was. You could feel the outsiders too. He just seemed like clearly the alpha. Well, he was a very good high school quarterback.

and had a knee injury. I know we talked about him getting his knee drain. That's an old football injury. And apparently he was great. I have a comp on him. I think he was kind of like a, a Jake Plummer scrambler, a little bit like a rich man in Jake. Oh yeah. Yeah. Big Moxie out of the pocket, accurate passer, not as big, but rich again. And Jake Plummer adjacent. Yeah. I mean, and we have to say it like incredibly disappointing. He never made a football movie.

Yeah, he did hockey. Oh, I guess he did the beach football on point breaks as close as we get. Yeah, that's true. But he gets cooked by Utah. Utah just reads the coverage. Couldn't he have been the Dennis Quaid Any Given Sunday role maybe? Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, he could have done that. Maybe. The monster truck used was a Bigfoot number seven, which was built for the film and the scene cost $500,000.

CR, Barbara Walters interviewed Swayze in January 2009. And he acknowledged that when he got sick and he eventually died, he thought it had to do with the drinking and the heavy cigarette smoking. He said he was up to 60 cigarettes a day. Yeah. Which is- We joke, but that- Three packs. It's tragic. Yeah. It's not crazy. My mom's dad, I think, was five packs a day, which is 100.

Needless to say, he didn't make it very long. But 60 a day is tough. Yeah, and they're Marvel Reds. Yeah. Man, I mean, it's a cool smoking movie. You know what I mean? But it is sad to see. Kyle, it does feel like he's actually...

Throwing back darts in every scene. They're like, "Hey, do you want to use the clove ones that we made?" "No, no, I'm good." Well, you guys are always cooking with smoking on the show, so I would leave that to you. It strikes me as weird as what's aged the worst is that Dalton is like this guy who's in touch with mind, body, and soul. He doesn't fly. He drinks coffee at the bar.

And yet he's having a cigarette within 15 seconds of getting out of bed. Like he's obviously just written their Marlboro Reds too. It doesn't jive with what his character's like. I think it's also, but like, I wonder whether or not it's like one of those things where it's like, he's in so much art, like deep arthritic pain all the time. And like, he's just like, I've got a couple of my demons and I got to feed him. He's an unbelievable hall of fame movie smoker.

that there's a couple of things he does, like the way he gets rid of the cigarette with the flick, which is like, oh, you're like a hardcore smoker. There's scenes where you don't even realize he's smoking and just smoke's drifting up. Huge clouds. And you're like, what's that smoke? Oh, Dalton's having another heater. The make and model and color of Dalton's car, silver light blue 1986 Mercedes-Benz SEC 560C126.

And then the double deuce and reds auto parts did not exist. They were built on site. We'll take one more break. Then we're doing apex mountain. This episode is brought to you by Twizzlers. We didn't have a ton of candy at the movies when I was growing up. Obviously we had popcorn and then we had some of the basics, but

I remember instantly gravitating toward the Twizzlers. And then ever since then, you know, you grow up, then you have kids. Guess what kids love? Twizzlers. No matter what the situation, Twizzlers is the perfect candy to relieve your boredom. While other candy can be too sweet and overpowering, Twizzlers is the perfect level of sweetness and comes in the perfect chewy twist that everyone knows and loves. So get your hands on some Twizzlers today. Apex Mountain.

Swayze, no, because this movie was a slow burn. But I think it's Ghost. Ghost. Point Break Roadhouse coming on as a rental era. So we're a year away from it. Sam Elliott? Is it Mask? I mean, it legit might be low-key 1883. He's incredible in it. Star is born? Yeah, you're right. It might be 1883. Movie Bouncers? No.

It's gotta be. Yes, absolutely. Coolers as well. And coolers. Jeff Healy. I'm going to say yes. Hell yes. Let's, let's just give it up for Jeff Healy for a fucking second. God damn. It's the most underrated, talented musician of all time. He's a blind guy who plays guitar with it on his lap. It's unbelievable. Yeah.

I was going to say Apex Mountain era. So I'm being a little bit generous with the timeframe, but white blues guitar players like Steve Vai. Oh, yeah. That was a big thing in the mid to late 80s. Kelly Lynch, it's somewhere around here. I think we're there.

Terry Funk, I'm going to go early 80s when he was really like one of the great wrestling villains of that whole era. Ben Gazzara, he won two Emmys. I'd be interested to see maybe belatedly this became the apex mouth. It's probably the thing he gets recognized for the most. Definitely. I don't think there's a lot of big John Cassavetes fans out there.

In 2024, but there's a lot of Roadhouse fans. They're big fans, but I think that a lot of people have seen Roadhouse, yeah. Would you go Apex Mountain for Sam Elliott's pubes or is there another situation? There's no 1883 pubes going. Maybe next season. Throat rip kills, no question. You can name it the Dalton.

action movie star names just name him Dalton but then his also his best friend's gonna come in Wade Garrett yeah and they have to fight Jimmy Reno and Brad Wesley great names can I interest you in Mason Storm and his son's Sunny Storm which is the name doesn't even fucking make sense there's some good ones it's true

Swayze's late eighties, Yarmir, Yager, hockey hair. That's great. I think Yager had the best. Yeah. Those male like hockey. They look great with the hockey helmets. Prison sodomy threats. No question. This is the apex. And then Tai Chi outdoors. Definitely. Any other apex mountain? What do you got, Chris? No, I mean, I had Healy. I had mullets. So yeah, Bill covered a lot. I had a coin tosses to determine a death.

And then I looked at Anton Chigurh at the counter saying, you got to make a call. But the Wade Garrett one did come first.

Is this Apex Mountain? Oh, the Coen brothers ripped off Brad Wesley? I was circling around it. They might have stood on some shoulders there. I honestly would not put it past Cormac McCarthy to have seen that. To have seen Roadhouse and be like, yeah, I'll put that in there. Do we call this Apex Mountain for sticking with your car despite all things going wrong with it? Oh, yeah. Stop sign going through the windshield. Knife tires. Knife tires. Just constantly taking it to Reds and just being like, man, let's see if we can get some spark plugs in this thing.

My last one was action movies. Just 1989. I think this was Apex Mountain. I think we're doing the best right now. Terminator 2 is coming. We still have all of our heroes are still in their primes or we have this new batch of heroes. It's like the old generation, new generation is colliding. I don't think it got better than this. All right. Semi-new category, racehorse or fantasy team name.

So mine's go ahead. What'd you got? I have, well, you got chomping at the, my, I, this is autobiographical. I've already had a fantasy team name called right boot. And I'm not making that up. Right. Great. It has been a team before. So that, I mean, that's mine. Right. Boot as a racehorse would be great. Yeah. I,

In the Vodou League, I'm in with Cousin Sal and all those guys. My team name has been the Double Deuce for, I think, 22 years. Awesome. Including a picture of the Double Deuce that we had to put on the CBS site. Is it the older the new Double Deuce? No, it's the old one from 89. Yeah, so the Double Deuce. Even it's been so long, I just call it the Deuce now. It's like a nickname for the fantasy team name. Sure. Really love the Double Deuce. Pick a Nets.

So Dalton's price, if you want to hire me, 5K up front, 500 a night cash, and you got to pay all my medical expenses. Yep. All right. So he's working five nights a week. So that's 2,500 a week. Sunday, Monday off, maybe. 125K a year cash, also 5K up front. So now we're at 130 and you're paying all his medical expenses. Pretty good.

Pretty lucrative job. You think he's on the books? You think he's reporting a lot of that income? He doesn't have an address. He doesn't have any of that stuff. I think it's all under the table. Buying cars and cash. Yeah. I think it's almost $300,000. So it's really like $250,000. Yeah. For inflation in 2024, it's almost $300,000 to be a cooler. I don't like that our guy didn't negotiate with him a little bit. Like, what about $450,000? He's just like, all right, that's it. Here's money. Here's my thing. Both Dalton and Jimmy...

Need to get equity pieces of these places. Like, I don't know. Jimmy must just be a psychopath. Cause he's like, I'm fucking killing anybody that Brad tells me to, but like, Jimmy's kind of like a house pet. I don't really know what, like what his ambitions are. Dalton should go into places and be like, I get 10% of the door. Yeah. Going forward for cleaning this place up. Do you think they, in the three and a three hour, 50 minute cut, there's a scene where Jimmy goes in, talks to Brad and,

Hey man, just thinking about what's my future. Like, is this, I'm happy just being the psychotic guy who just kills people. But what's next for me? Can I manage the JC penny? Do you think I have it in me? Any other development plans? What can I take over and make mine? It's like when, remember when Brady was going to go with the dolphins and he wanted to have ownership, if he was going to be a dolphin, like you gotta have a piece of it at some point. Yeah. I don't know if Jimmy was thinking that way. Um,

I mentioned how we should have seen Dalton kill Terry Funk. That's a nitpick. All right. So let's talk about the fat, bad guy at the end who the poor liberal falls on him. He's the, he's the only one left at the end. And then it seems like he just crosses over. Like when Robert Loggia dies in Scarface and they're like, Hey, you want a job? And he's like, yeah. And then he goes, Hey man, you got a job. Can you switch sides like that in real time?

Uh, yes. In eighties action movies. You can, I feel like that guy should have been arrested. It's a little bit more comic. I mean, nobody gets arrested. The fucking red is walking out the door with four shotguns when the cops come in. Fine. So does that guy now he's like, all right, Hey, sorry about all the shit before, but do you have Monday through Friday at the, I think Dalton's like, here's my Buick. You have five seconds to get out of town.

See, I think Tinker's a great locker room guy. I think he won a round. Remember on the driveway scene when he says, I'm sorry, boss, Brad West, he says, I believe you, Tinker. Just immediately, they like him, and Tinker will fight, and I think they're just like, ah, fuck it, Tinker. It's like you're Antonio Brown. Come on over. We'll make it work somehow. You're that talented. We like you. It's like when Johnny Damon went through the Yankees. Yeah. Fuck it. Do you really want to be a blind musician at the scariest bar in the South?

I don't know. LA or San Francisco. I don't know. There's just like, he's like, he's like blind, blind. So like guys are like sneaking up on him and like playing jokes and stuff like that. Well, that one guy throws the beer and it splashes on him. And it's like, Oh no, Jeff, like you feel bad for Jeff Healy. Yeah.

What do you have for picket nets? Oh, well, we talked a little bit about Dalton living in a non-air-conditioned barn that smells of horseshit. So I feel like he could have probably found a different room situation.

I think it's just really this chain of events. Soaking wet Dalton wearing nothing but sweatpants runs from an exploding farmhouse to do battle with Jimmy during which he tears another man's throat out. And then in the next scene, after Elizabeth has basically dumped him and it's night, the next scene, he is wearing...

perfectly laundered outfit goes to the double deuce during the daytime. No, like trauma. No, like I feel bad for ripping this man's throat out. Nobody, what did they do with the corpse? Yeah. It's almost out of sequence. It's out of sequence. That's my, that's my biggest, uh, picking it. All right. That's a good one. Mine is, is wildly different. Uh,

no couple in history on their second date has had that manner of intercourse that those two have in their house. It is fucking wild. They go on one date, they have a tasteful kiss on the second date.

He lifts her up, slams her against the stone wall and just goes in stone wall. Yeah. It's hard. And just goes in and does it standing up like that. That is an insane, insane piece of coitus. I even read that. Like Kelly Lynch has said, I get asked a lot that he slammed against the wall. I had pads on my back to protect me from it. I mean, it's just, that is an outlandish way to go about it on a second. He ends it with her being like, you're going to stick around. And he's like, nope.

Well, you left out the other part. What? Leaves all the curtains open so Brad Wesley can fucking have a little stroke fest across the lake. Oh, man. Brad Wesley's like, this is great, man. Thanks for leaving that. It almost felt like he was taunting Brad Wesley a little bit. I have another very small...

nitpick so mr the you're my regular saturday night he walks in steve there's some doggy style sex going on the guy immediately has his pants on and no boner it's always a nitpick for me when they see that like either don't show me the waist down or whatever but you can't go from doggy style sex to just you're wearing your tighty-whities that's in the three-hour cut

Yeah. I like it. I'm not asking to see another man's erection. I'm just saying, like, just show him from waist up. Steve standing at complete attention. Yeah, it just takes me out of it. By the way, Bill, when he delivers that line, I'm on my break. Aren't you like, he is on his break, Dalton. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, true. Leave him alone. Give him 10 minutes. My last one, and this could maybe be a new rewatchables category. It turns out Red Webster

of Red's auto parts is also Kelly Lynch's kind of uncle. Yeah. Like they're related. Yeah. Movies will do this. The most famous is beautiful girls. Uma Thurman is related to stinky. The guy owns stinkies and it's like, Oh, it's my cousin stinky. And it's like, you guys are not related. You share no blood at all. Um, so when they do like, Oh, this is my niece, you know, doc, the doctor, I don't know. I'm just not buying it. I hear you. We've hit everything else.

sequel, prequel, prestige TV, all black cast are untouchable. I love the Jimmy Reno prequel. I'm now I'd rather much rather would have had this than Jill and all Jill and all just should have played Jimmy Reno. Oh my God. That would have been great. Yeah. It'd be a great young Jimmy Reno. Young Jimmy Reno. That'd be awesome. Awesome. So I can, can I add a little bit of a wrinkle to this category bill? Yeah. Yeah. Sequel, prequel, all black cast untouchable or untouchable.

New England Patriots dynasty style documentary told from the perspective of Brad Wesley. I tried to save Jasper. You know, I always thought the double deuce had some promise. I'm definitely adding that to the rewatch from now on.

And then Dalton came in. What would Bob Kraft have done with Jasper? Yeah. It's just, there's an entire episode about how Dalton was- If we had just traded Aaron Hernandez, everything would have been fine. Dalton's getting the shit kicked out of him by the four guys before Wade Garrett shows up. And that's just the whole episode about how bad Dalton was as a fighter. We don't see the aftermath. We knew we needed to move on. Incidentally, though, my other idea would be, give me the like-

say like five, six episode, Wade and Dalton in Memphis with this love triangle that like Dalton into like such a spiral. Roadhouse Memphis nights. I think you call that. Yes. Skinamax. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Trejo, Catherine Hahn, Steve Buscemi, Sam Jackson, Michael K. Williams, JT Walsh, Byron Mayo,

Harling Mays or Philip Baker Hall? This one I got Byron Mayo. And I think Byron Mayo has to play Emmett. And he comes up during the first sex scene between Clay and Dalton. She's like, Liz, Dalton, there's room for three here. I got some of the Tai Chi oil. Come on. Brad's watching. The manure is a natural aphrodisiac.

It is true. We needed him. I know you like having sex standing up, but what about on the bed? The three of us just want to ask her who gets it. Uh,

Honestly, I would probably do whoever was like, I mean, they don't do this as an Oscar. They should as the stunt coordinator. Yeah. But I suppose you would go. It would be, I was thinking to be, I was thinking about the Oscars, the 19, so it would be the 1989 Oscars in March, 1990. If Ben Gazzara had been nominated as Brad Wesley, and they were like, that means are blah, blah, blah. And then Ben Gazzara, what would his Oscar clip have been? He,

That's a great one. Like the breakfast? Show boom, show boom. I think it's the breakfast is the Oscar clip. It would have been the breakfast, right? I like Chris's idea of the driving, but I think it's the goddamn JCPenney because of me. Do you think he could have beaten Denzel and Glory that year? And the Oscar goes to Ben Gazzara, Roadhouse. I just like everybody who got nominated is a great guy. Probably unanswerable questions. Can you really rip a guy's throat out? Great question. I think you can.

But I don't know how. Did you guys, when you watch this, feel your own throat? Oh, we were talking about that. Yeah. I'm doing it right now. No, but I mean, did you actually like just, I think you would need, you'd have to have like nails to rip in and then pull. I don't think it's possible. It's like a Bruce Lee thing. It's really not one of those things you can practice. Yeah. Yeah. You got to really go after it. Were there parts of town that Brad Wesley didn't terrorize? Was there anything hands off?

The hospital, probably because she worked there. The hospital? Was there like a barber shop where it's like, ah, I like Gary. Yeah. Right. Gary stays out of it. Is there like a Walden Books? Yeah, you know what? Yeah, I like going there. Why didn't Jasper, Missouri have a strip joint? Well, I mean, I think that most people behaved like the double deuce was a strip joint. Yeah. So it kind of obviates the need for...

A place like that. Just go outside Emmett's barn. You can see two people screwing, standing up. It's everything you need to know. Fair. Why didn't Roadhouse 2 with Swayze happen?

Felt like 93 range, right? As it's starting to turn on him, he's thinking about doing two Wong Fu and movies like that. It's like, yeah, you know what? Maybe dust off roadhouse too. There's a lot of buzz right now. Where would you want to see Dalton go? LA. LA? He's going to LA. He's at like the Viper room and we're getting like cameos from real actors. Wow. I think he's running his own place. The Viper room brought him in to clean up after River Phoenix's death. He's like, all right, we need a cooler now. We got to clean this shit up. Got to get rid of the drugs. Here's Dalton. He's the best.

I like it too. LA would work. That's great. Terry Funk, best wrestling crossover role ever other than Thunder Lips, Hulk Hogan. Number two, the number two spot for a wrestler wading into a movie that becomes an iconic movie. I can't get there. I got Andre the Giant and the Princess Bride as physics. All right, that's good. And Roddy Piper and They Live, right? Yeah. Yeah, okay. That's good. Yeah, maybe he's second level.

So why did Dalton kill a guy in Memphis? Something about a woman and the guy pulled a gun on him, right? Yeah. Well, she never told him she was married. Got involved with a married woman. Yeah. Husband tried to kill him. Self-defense. A man died.

Why are you so ashamed, Dalton? Because you shouldn't have been having the affair in the first place? Also, Dalton, are we sure you've never killed a guy in one of those bar fights? Right. It seems you get pretty roundhouse kicking. You can spot a right boot from 100 feet away, but you couldn't figure out this woman was married? You wouldn't look at the different color of where her ring should have been? Great point, though. Come on. Jesus Christ.

Any other unanswerables? Yeah. Go ahead, Chris. I mean, should we just talk about what's up with the... Dalton's a German car guy? That's his baby? That's his prized possession? What's that about? Do you think it's because he did a lot of German philosophy in school and started to become a fan? I don't know. And apparently, according... This was just IMDB research, so it's not the deepest reporting, but Harrington claimed...

I believe that Roadhouse changed the concept of club security across the planet. No way. That's true. No way. That's true. The movie just wasn't that popular until like 1995. It took like six years for this movie to become Roadhouse. I did. I did have one unanswerable question. Mine's also about cars. Do you think anybody ever called about that Buick?

Hey, yeah, I've been looking for a LeSabre. I saw your number at the double deuce. How many miles that thing have on it? What's the blue book? Why not? I'm looking for one for my mom. She needs a car. Wrong number. What do you have for best double feature choice, Kyle?

Um, I have, I have gladiator and not the Russell Crowe version. Oh, the James Marshall Cuba Gooding one? Fighting one directed by Rowdy Harrington. A couple of years later, when I was in eighth grade, we'd go to basketball games and ride the bus there. And I had my first Discman and the soundtrack we listened to was gladiator and they had, we will rock you, but not by queen. It was by warrant.

And that shit used to go so hard. I would watch a Rowdy Harrington double feature. Gladiator. Great idea. Honestly, Kyle, that's like a perfect choice. I had Rolling Thunder, which is like a 1970s grindhouse movie about a guy coming back from Vietnam and gets robbed by a bunch of assholes in Texas and then takes revenge. It's Brad Wesley. But it's basically like that same kind of vibes. I have Point Break. Just do the double Swayze. Sure.

The Indian Red Zoan Air Award for what happened the next day. So what happened to Brad Wesley's house? No kids. He's got the nicest house in Jasper. You could make a sequel out of like Brad Wesley's sister's revenge. She's lost her brother and her son. You know, she comes back. Maybe she's got like a little bit of crime family to her. Lisa Wesley. Yeah. That could be a net benning.

And you got to clean up all the blood. There's a lot of stuffed heads that you got to figure out. Maybe you auction those off. So seriously, what are the cops saying? They walk in. It's an absolute bloodbath. There's nine bodies. Brad Wesley's been shot from multiple different guns from multiple angles. And they're just like, eh, well, stuff happens sometimes in Missouri. There's probably an investigation. I don't know if Swayze's swimming naked in the water with Kelly Lynch or...

As Jeff Hill is blasted with a die comes falling. Cause that's the answer. What do they do the next day? They go to the crick and they screw in the swamp. That's what they're doing. Carefree. What I love about that is when Swayze's hair gets wet, his mullet gets like four times longer and it's like halfway down to his ass crack. It's great. Maybe this would have been a good Dalton thing. Could Dalton have normal sex? Did it always have to be standing up against a wall in water? Yeah.

What piece of memorabilia would you want from this movie, CR? Sam Elliott's sunglasses.

Honestly, Sam Elliott's whole vibe. I wish I was as tall as him. I wish I had his hair. I wish I had his sunglasses. He's really cool. What do you have, Kyle? We've kind of danced around this for multiple scenes in this. Dalton is wearing what looks to be a karate gi, but is actually just a shirt that's tucked into jeans. It's like a karate shirt. I would wear that. And one guy at a party I go to would be like, dude, is that the fucking Dalton shirt? And that guy and I would have drinks together. You'd be like brothers for life. You'd be like, oh yeah.

The double deuce sign from the bar seems too big to have. I don't know where you basically just, it would become your entire house. The t-shirts for the double deuce, I thought like a game worn double deuce t-shirt from the set would be cool. But I think for me, it's Jimmy Reno's pool cue. It's like the pool cue Jimmy Reno used to do at 360 in the air. Also a pole vault. Yeah. Yeah. Pole vault, whatever the hell he did. The coach Finstock will wear best life lesson.

Pain don't hurt. Yeah. Or nobody wins in a fight. Nobody wins a fight. Be nice. Be nice. Until it's time to not be nice. Yeah. A lot of great lessons. And then Swayze wins the movie. Well, it's time. Producer Craig's going to come in. Come on, Craig. I can't wait. I'm so excited for this. By the way, this movie is older than Craig. He had never seen it. Did you have any expectations? My hopes were high. I mean, I knew it was a classic. I had high expectations. And let me tell you something, boys. It met them. It met them.

I watched this on, like, noon on a Sunday with Liz. She was kind of in and out on her phone a little bit, and I didn't blink for an hour and 54 minutes. I was fucking dialed in on this film. If...

If I had to make like a PowerPoint presentation right now for why movies are worse now and what to do to make them better, I would just show this movie and be like, do all this shit. All this shit from this movie. Yeah. Just do it. I think it's the most male movie ever made. Yeah. Oh, that's a good thing. There's never been a movie more geared to just men. But I will say, there's something about it, almost like Entourage, where like Liz did not dislike this movie.

You know what I mean? We're like, it's like so aggressive and earnest in what it is that you almost got to respect it. And it's like what you guys were talking about at the start. Like the lack of self-awareness is key about this movie. It's what makes it so great. Yeah. It's almost campy. Yeah. Knowing that if you tried to make a movie earnestly, that it would just get ripped to shreds on social media, like within 10 minutes of it coming out. It's why you can't do stuff like this now.

it's like an old t-shirt. Like whenever I get like a t-shirt passed down to me from my dad, like an old Gildan t-shirt, it's like better quality than any t-shirt you can buy now. And that is what this movie is. What was the wow scene for you? Man, I mean like my favorite scenes is probably the beginning when he's like just getting there and he's like setting the rules and he's like walking around telling everybody what to do. He kicks out the guy who's stealing money. I loved all that.

I actually, you know what? I know I'm the big like, we didn't need that nude scene. Nudity in this movie, kind of warranted.

I'm with it. I'm there with it. Fits the vibe. Yeah. Yeah. The fuck, the fuck guys like you in prison is elite. Yeah. You guys hit everything. You really did. This is a, this is an all encompassing performance from the three of you. Did you know I used to fuck guys like you in prison was coming? Had you heard that before that he just dropped that and you were like, did you have to go back 10 seconds? Yeah. I was like, I was like, what the fuck? Yeah.

But I think it's an insult. I was trying to decide. That was a great question, Bill. I do think it's... Because if I said that to one of you, you wouldn't be like, well, thank you. You'd be like, what the fuck? It's like 20% compliment, 80% insult. Sure. I might have had that said to me in my personal life before. I'm a little close to it, so I'll refuse myself. Yeah.

Have you ever had the Swayze haircut though, Kyle? I have, yeah. Around the same time. Like 90, 91. Everybody had that. It was very, very cool. Definitely. I mean, I was actually inspired by Jeremy Roenick, but it was the same one as Swayze. Mullet's kind of back. I couldn't grow it because my hair goes up, not down. Yeah. So Mullet's had no chance for me. Dudes like Austin Butler, they're kind of starting to get hair like that now a little bit. Yeah. For sure. All right. Well, this was produced by Craig Horlbeck.

Thanks to Chris Ryan. I had a great time. Kyle Brandt, we missed you in Chicago doing The Fugitive. I missed you big time. It was great. I love you. I have to always give my love letter to Rewatchables. Last week, I was on a family vacation and I was at the pool at this resort with my kids and my wife. This guy comes up to me. He goes, hey, are you Kyle Brandt? I say, yeah, man, how you doing? He goes, I love your work. And I go, oh, thank you. I always say, I say, who's your team?

And he goes, honestly, I just fucking love Under Siege. And I'm like, ah, fucking Rewatchables. It's always the Rewatchables fans. And they're like, I love you, man. And I'm like, you don't love me. You love Cobra. Like, it's about the movies. But thanks for listening.

You're their vessel to the greatest era of movies we've ever had. I'm glad I get up at 4.30 in the morning to talk about Dak Prescott so you can talk about Steven Seagal on the podcast. That's right. No appreciation for that at all. But I love you guys. Well, we love having you. You can watch this entire podcast at some point on youtube.com slash Bill Simmons. But when are we spinning that off, Craig, into a Rewatchables channel? Is that happening? Yeah, I think so. I think we're going to do something, ringer movies or something like that.

Yeah, something's going to happen soon. So anyway. All right, guys. I had a great time. Great to see you. Thank you.