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Before we get going today, I wanted to tell you about another Radiotopia podcast you should be listening to, Song Exploder. Song Exploder is an award-winning show about the creative process behind music. Artists break down one of their songs, letting you hear all the different layers in the recording, from instruments to beats to vocals. And most importantly, they talk about why they made the creative choices they did. Song Exploder is not just for music nerds. It's for anybody who cares about creativity or wants to feel inspired to create something.
It's hosted by Rishi Keshe Hiraway, who you might know from the podcast Home Cooking or the West Wing Weekly. The episodes are short, about 20 minutes each, and my recommendation is to start with an episode featuring an artist you love. And then listen to one with an artist you don't know at all. There are over 250 episodes with guests like Fleetwood Mac, Madonna, Solange, Beats,
Billy Eilish, Phoebe Bridgers, FK Twigs, The Killers, Dua Lipa, and John Batiste, and more. Each episode is really a miniature portrait of an artist and how their creative mind works, with the song as the lens we see them through. It's also a great way to discover new music. It's a different kind of experience to get introduced to a song this way, learning how and why each piece and idea came together before you hear the whole song at the end.
Find your favorite episode of Song Exploder and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or at songexploder.net.
Hi, and welcome to Normal Gossip. In each episode of this podcast, we're going to bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. I'm your host, Kelsey McKinney, and this is the second of the 10-episode season four. Before we get into the gossip, business first. I am thrilled to announce that we are going to be going on tour this summer. We're going to be going to eight U.S. cities. Let's count them. New York, Boston, Philadelphia, Chicago, Austin,
Thank you.
General on sale for tickets is Thursday, April 12th at 10 a.m. So that is tomorrow if you are listening to this podcast the day it came out. If you are thinking to yourself, oh my God, tomorrow, that's 500 million years away. I can't wait that long. Well, do I have news for you? One of the benefits of being a subscriber at the friend level or a friend of a friend level is that all of our subscribers found out on Tuesday about the tour and got access to the pre
sell. If you are a subscriber and you're thinking, I didn't know about this, please check your email. Your email has the codes in it, I promise.
Other benefits of being a subscriber is that you get monthly bonus episodes and discounts on merch. We dropped a really cool new shirt last week designed by Tara Jacoby that has a bunch of Easter eggs from our episodes and is really fun. And I think it's really exciting. And at the friend level, you get added to our close friends on Instagram where we tell secrets and stuff. So that's really fun. You can get a subscription at supportnormalgossip.com. But as always, just listening to the show is a form of support and we really appreciate you for doing it.
Okay, let's get into the show. Let's do some gossip. Let's get into it. I am so thrilled to have here with me today Blythe Robertson. She's a comedian, a humor writer, and the author of How to Date Men When You Hate Men. She's written for The New Yorker, New York Magazine, Esquire, and for the NPR quiz show Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Her new book, America the Beautiful, comes out on April 18th. Blythe, welcome to the show. Okay.
Kelsey, thank you for having me. I'm so excited that you're here. Oh my god, me too. I cannot wait to hear some gossip. Oh my god, yeah, I can't wait to tell you some gossip. How are you today? Let's just start, you know, basics. What do you do? I am great. God, what have I done today? I...
have been waking up earlier and earlier because I'm getting so old. So I just have been doing so much work. I've been researching things. I'm like deciding when I'm packing for my trip to Florida tomorrow.
Wow. I love that for you. Do you want to start off with our classic first question and tell me what your relationship to gossip is? Yes. I love gossip. Wouldn't it be crazy if I was like, I think people who gossip are sinners. No, I love gossip. You know what? I have been waiting. Like, I think one day someone is going to con their way through the pre-interview and get here and be like, I actually think you're the spawn of Satan. And I'm going to be like, I've been waiting my whole life for this. Oh my god.
No, gossip is so good. I mean, for all the sociological reasons of like setting norms and like teaching us how to behave and kind of keeping people in check. But also I think it's just like one of the most fun things on this earth is to know secrets about what other people are doing. Yeah.
Yeah, I had the fun experience on Saturday or Sunday of hanging out with some friends and hearing gossip and then getting to go to a second location and sharing that gossip immediately. It was so fulfilling. So I wanted to talk to you about this because I loved your first book and I'm halfway through your second so I can't speak about it. It's a tired yet, but
Your books are very personal and you reveal a lot about yourself. Has that kind of openness with your own personal life changed your perception of gossip in any way? I mean, I think something that I keep coming back to in my writing is I really try to be... I mean, I would be interested to hear what you think about this, but I think I really am like...
I want to be open about my experiences and my feelings, but also really protective of other people's privacy, even when those people are manipulative psychopaths. And it's like, I'm always trying to walk that line to be like, okay, if this person's mom was reading this, how would they feel? Which is not necessarily like a good way to go, because I think it does make me be like overly careful, but...
I would hate to like have someone blow up my spot indiscriminately in writing. So I think like when I am gossiping, especially about myself, it's mostly just like, what can I learn? Like, what is my takeaway? How am I going to become a better person? How am I going to react to the situation instead of being like, XYZ did me dirty and should never date again, even if that is how I feel about XYZ.
Okay, so I'm not trying to be nitpicky. It's just like the way that I am. You said, right, like gossiping about myself, right, which is a kind of interesting turn of phrase and one that I actually use often. But can you say more about that? Like, I think that people very much view gossip as something that you only do about other people. Yeah. So on Saturday, when I heard Hollywood Gossip and the
and was able to share it later. My friends were being like, oh, here's a secret, here's a secret, blah, blah, blah. And then I was like, I have gossip about myself. And they were like, you're such an idiot. What does that even mean? But for me, it just meant like, I have this crazy thing that happened to me. I do think it is just like good gossip.
But also I'm sharing it with you as a friend because I want you guys to tell me what I should do or I want to discuss this. But it's almost like trying to tempt my friends into being interested to like hear about my life by being like, here's some gossip. You're doing like what we do on the show and being like, and what should she quote unquote she, Blythe, me do next? Exactly. Totally. That's funny. So then do you think that gossip is a tone? Oh, interesting. I think...
Yeah, a tone or even just like a quality of adventure and excitement. You know, it's just like updating my friends on my life is just like, yeah, but then gossiping about my life is like this crazy thing happened. So writing a memoir is like kind of creating a self gossip, right? Because it's like you're building the world that you actually existed in and telling like a form of a story that you care about. Do you want to talk about like,
what that looked like for your most recent book. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Oh wow. Okay. Building a world. Or gossip in the book. Gossip in the book. Well, there's one instance in the book wherein, um,
I kiss anyone. One kiss? Only one kiss. I know. Literally, I only kissed one person in two months and I did go fully insane leading up to it. I was like, I flew out to Chicago in like June thinking I would be on the road for like three months and I was like, I'm a sane person. I'm very normal. And then like two weeks later, I was like, I haven't fucked anyone in two weeks and I'm crazy. So by the time I got to like
Like Portland, I'd been on the road for a month and I was so horny. I was like, I possibly should be jailed. I just was flirting with everyone. You were getting bonked. I was like, yeah. Like go to horny jail bonk. Exactly. And then I was like, all these people are following me on Instagram. So maybe I'm being okay and I'm just hot. But also I should probably stop flirting with everyone I see. Yeah.
So I did, and this is in the book, have sex with someone in a car in Portland. Weren't you sick of being in cars? I was so sick of being in cars, but this guy was staying with his parents and didn't want to bring me to his parents' house to have sex with me. I gotta admit, I'm not loving these vibes. I mean...
When you hear about it as a person who has maybe recently kissed someone, it's like, oh, that's probably a bad... I don't know that I would have sex in those circumstances, but again, I was...
So horny, I was like... You were on the verge of death. Right, exactly. And so I had sex with this guy in his parents' car in Portland on the street. Was it a nice car? It was like an SUV of some kind. Probably a Subaru. Big, at least. It was big. I mean, and the back seat was taken down. Great. Yeah.
And I made him drive. I was like, we can do this, but we have to go somewhere that's secluded. And he kept on driving places that, like, clearly had a person just walking next to the car. And I was like, but you're from Portland. Like, you should know one secluded place. Like, I didn't kiss anyone in high school, but I presumed that this guy probably did. This is a very, like, high school problem, right? Exactly. Like, we need to kiss, but we can't at either of our houses. And we need a cul-de-sac. Mm-hmm.
Right, exactly. He could not find a single cul-de-sac. But finally, he found this like park type thing and was like, how's here? And I was like, this is fine. We were like, whatever. I'm going to die at any moment. So I was like, let's just do it. So we have sex parked outside this park type thing, which it turned out wasn't a park.
It was a seminary. Oh, my God. I know. The Lord. I know. The Lord was like, you know what? I get it. She's really horny. So then he drives me back to my car and he was like, hey, don't post on Instagram that you had sex because you tagged me recently in a post and people will find out that it's me. And this was like one in the morning. And I was like, oh, okay.
Okay. And like, just felt so bad that he didn't want anyone to... Yeah, that's a shitty thing to say. I know. I
I've since untagged him from that post so people can't like go back and find out who he was. But smart. That made me like when I was writing the book, I was like, well, clearly having sex in a car in Portland is going in the book. So yeah, just like trying to figure out a way in that and in so much gossip to share like the emotionally pertinent details without sharing anything that can like blow this guy spot up. And then I was like,
Okay, he's gonna find out that he's in the book. I doubt he's gonna be thrilled, but it's fine. But I was like, what if my friend who's our mutual friend finds out he's in the book and is like, yeah, oh, that's fucked up that you did that. So that was the most scary thing for me was telling my friend like, hey, I wrote about having sex with blah, blah, blah. And she was like, that fucking rules like, so that felt good.
So when you're thinking about taking a story from your own life and turning it into a piece of, like, a publication for public consumption, right? Yeah. I'm asking this question for the listeners and also for myself. When you're doing this and you're thinking about, like, other people's privacy and the way that you want to respect them, is your inclination to, like, make yourself the villain? I don't think I necessarily want to make myself the villain. Like, in this story that's in my book, I...
Definitely wasn't like I somehow wronged this man, but I did find that like while I was doing the final, final, final edit, I kind of softened the amount of like hurt that I felt when he was like, don't post that you had sex because it made me feel really bad. And for a while, of course it did. I was like, this was so fucked up that he said this to me. But then.
I, in the very final edit, was like, this was, it made me feel really bad, even though it was, you know, possibly an innocuous thing to say. And I think that's where I try to go is like, to have as much a full understanding of where the other person is coming from as I can. And I think that's like, maybe a fault of mine to try to overanalyze like, oh, this person treated me badly, but it's only because of blah, blah, blah. Like, I have a friend who...
Like in my last breakup, which I have been writing about a little bit, I definitely was like, oh, he treated me really bad, but it was because this had just happened to him. And friends who have like dealt with similar situations and have gone to like Al-Anon have been like, oh, the because is not your job. The because is their job. But I think in writing when it's just going to be published forever, I think that there's still just a little bit of
some sort of duty to be like, let me try to see it from their perspective, because this person is not a writer, he's not gonna have a chance to like, yeah, it's a power dynamic, right? And like, I think what you're talking about, I mean, I think it's very beautiful that you make this a goal of yours. And like, I think the generosity of trying to say, like,
why do people behave the way that they behave is a lot of the reason why anyone becomes the kind of person who wants to tell stories, which is like, I'm curious about other people. And it is like a huge point of growth to get to the point where you can be like, I can understand why someone did this and not excuse that behavior. Totally.
So your first book, How to Date Men When You Hate Men, had like a renaissance of a bit. A little bit after it came out, I feel like. That could be the wrong read, but you can say more about it. Did you get any good gossip out of it? Like, did readers contact you? Oh, yeah. I get DMs all the time from people being like, I mean...
Most are just people being like, this made me feel really seen. And like, I also blah, blah, blah. But every once in a while, I do get like, my boyfriend is crazy in this way and this to me. And that always just, it's, you know, it's that same kind of thing where it's like self gossip. And it's just like, I have to tell someone else that this happened to me, which I totally get. And I always am like,
I'm like, so sorry that that happened. I mean, it sadly is always like there's nothing new under the sun that a man can do to a woman in my DMs that I feel like a man has not done to me in my own personal life. But yeah, I feel like I've seen this film before. Right. But yeah, I do always appreciate when people DM me and tell me, like,
their stories. So I encourage everyone to do it. And I will read it. And I will tell you that a man did the same thing to me. That's beautiful. Yeah, I love that. Well, our gossip today is not about a man treating a woman badly, but it is about a woman treating herself badly. So would you like to hear about that? I would. Can I interest you in that? Great. Okay, well, let's do it. Trigger warning for you.
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Hosted by Maria Garcia, this is My Devo, an Apple original podcast produced by Futuro Studios. Follow and listen on Apple Podcasts. Blythe, guess what? What? For our story today, we are going to Florida.
God, it's so relevant to my life. I know. You came on and you were like, I'm going to Florida. And I was like, in the back of my mind. My first question for you is, have you ever been to Florida? What do you know about it? I've been to Florida so many times in my life. My grandparents moved there to retire. They moved an hour north of Disney because they wanted to encourage the family to visit them, which I always thought was kind of sad. Yeah. But it worked because the family visits them all the time. And now my dad and my aunt have both
near my grandparents. So I'm going there tomorrow to see all of them. So you know all about the humidity, all about the heat, all about the, you know, the weirdness of Central Florida. Oh, yeah, big time. Oh, I also live there for a couple months of COVID.
I was visiting my dad and for really convoluted reasons, I didn't have a return ticket. And then while I was down there, COVID happened. Like Tom Hanks got COVID. And I was like, I guess I live in Florida now. So my hair became like five times the size. I like that you blocked that out entirely. You're like, sure, I've been to Florida a few times because my grandparents lived there. Not I personally lived in Florida for two months. It was quite a time. Old people constantly told me, you're too young to live here.
And I was like, I know. And you were like, you think I'm hot. I was like, I'm going to pull so many old people. I love Florida. The hottest one here. Okay. All right. Our friend of a friend today, her name is Olivia. She's a student at a big public university in Florida.
She's, like, on the younger side, right? Like, sophomore or a junior. But she is, like, not from Florida originally. She is, like, a Midwest girly, born and raised, who went to Florida for college. And she is having, like, a little bit of culture shock right there. Like, Sperry's everywhere. Have you ever had a culture shock like this? Had a similar culture shock when I went to college in Boston. No one from nowhere. Yeah.
Yeah, I was just like, everyone here looks like they're studying all the time. I too am a Midwestern girly. But I was a teenager in the 2000s when everyone in Illinois dressed like we were surfing in California. Yeah, that's beautiful. Puka shell necklaces. Yes. And you arrived in Boston and they were like, what? Yeah, exactly. Who are you? Yeah.
Okay, so Olivia moves to Florida. She has like a little bit of culture shock, but not a ton because her entire like dad's side of her extended family is from Florida. Oh, wow. And this side of the extended family is huge. Like the dad's side is like 25 people, 15 first cousins, and they are like very Southern. Like call grandma meemaw Southern. Oh, wow. Yeah.
So Olivia and her like nuclear family who live in the Midwest kind of like avoid this part of the family. And because the family is so big, they don't have to see them all that often. They see them like, you know,
Every six or seven years, they make a diplomatic showing at Christmas. And for the most part, they are just doing their own thing. Well, how did her family end up in the Midwest is what I want to know. That's a great question that I don't know the answer to. What I know is she lives in the Midwest. Okay, great. That's what I've got for you. I'm going to assume that her parents are in the corn industry. I love that. Yeah, they're part of Big Corn. And so they can't leave at the holidays because corn is famously a Christmas treat. Yeah.
Yeah, stocking pepper. Just my raw ear of corn. Okay. Delicious. Out of season. Okay. So all of Olivia's extended family was like thrilled when she ended up going to Florida. Yeah.
For college, because they're like, oh my God, she's like moving close to us. They're like, you're a tried out legacy. Are you going to rush? And she's like, absolutely not. And they were like, well, that's okay. Like, we're so glad that you're going to be nearby. That's nice that her extended family was like, we're so excited to see you, even though you clearly hate us and never visit us. Yeah, it's kind of nice. Not like bad vibes from this family, to be honest. Okay, cool.
But Olivia is like busy, right? She's in school. She has a lot of extracurricular activities. So she like sees them every once in a while, but never in like a big group, right? She'll see like one set of aunt and uncle or one cousin kind of like in one-off situations. Cool. A little less drama. Until one day she has a little bit of a problem. Oh no. She's on the phone with her dad and her dad's like, your uncle Hector and your aunt Nadia are planning a 50th anniversary party for your grandparents. Yes.
He's like, it's going to be a huge party, like 25 people. Aunt Nadia got a reservation at this like hard to get restaurant. He's like, I can't go because I have to continue doing my job for Big Corn. Would you consider going as like an emissary of our family? That sounds great. Having been to my own grandparents 50th anniversary party at Disney World, I say she should go. I just...
How dare? I'm so sorry. Just give me one second. Okay, the thing is, Olivia's like, yeah, maybe I'll go. Maybe I'll go to this dinner. And then her dad's like, yeah, it won't be that bad of a drive because the dinner is at Disney World. Oh, no, Kelsey, I can't believe you picked my story for this episode. I didn't know that your grandpa... Oh, my God. When I went to my grandparents' 50th anniversary party at Disney World, my aunt said...
No good Catholic could ever support abortion. And I was like, how dare you? Because I'm a Catholic and I support abortion. At the time, I'm like 14 years old. But that was the entirety of our family drama. Yeah, at Disney World. That's beautiful. That's a good family drama. Yeah.
So do you think that Olivia should go to this dinner, given your own experience as a 14 year old? Yes, 100%. Disney World is a great place to have family celebration. Why? You just have to hang out with your family, eat one meal, the food is totally normal and fine. And then you can split off into little groups and go on rides.
So this is what her dad is like trying to, you know, sell to her. He's like, it's just like, you just have to go for dinner. It'll be fun. And Olivia is like, absolutely not. I am an adult. I do not want to see our whole family at Disney World. Like, I am not a Disney World girly. Okay, this is the problem with...
People think that they're too good for Disney World, which I have been in my own time. Like my family went to Disney World a lot when I was a kid because it was just a place for all the family to hang out. And then when I was like also in college, I was like,
is organic. This is like the cult of capitalism. Everything I'm seeing is fake, hyper produced, hyper produced, like this could never be fun. Like my family is Philistines. How dare? And then I was like, you know what, it's just nice to see my family. I'm an old woman now. And it
It's fun to sit on a little train and go really fast up and down a fake mountain. And I think like getting to that point is Galaxy Brain. Yeah, you've made it. And I'm really happy for you. But Olivia is like 21. She has not made it to Galaxy Brain land yet. She is in like, it's embarrassing to go to Disney World land.
She's like, absolutely not. No, thank you. I don't want to go. And her dad is like, okay, but like, please consider it. Like your aunt Nadia worked really hard. She got this like 25 person reservation at a Disney World restaurant, which is like a huge undertaking. She had to call every day for a month. And Olivia is like, no. And her dad is like, what if I paid your gas money and a night in a hotel room for you? Yeah.
And Olivia, you know, she has roommates. So she's like, now I am intrigued because I would get to like swim in a pool and I would get to have my own room. Yes. It's so nice to be in a hotel. I personally can't swim in a pool in Florida because it'll make my skin and hair too crazy. But I think Olivia's got to treat herself. Worst case scenario, she like has a nice meal. Yeah.
She, you know, celebrates true love and she like gets to wear a robe for a night. Yeah, exactly. So Olivia is like, I'll consider it on the phone with her dad. Yeah. They like hang up. Immediately she gets a text on her phone from her dad that is in a group chat with Aunt Nadia and says, Olivia says she might come. Nice. That's a good move on the dad's part.
Aunt Nadia, of course, is thrilled. She's like, oh my god, this is so great. We can't wait to see you. We haven't had you in this big group in such a long time. Like, here are all the details. Here's where we're going to be there. Like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And Olivia is like side texting her dad furiously. Like, how dare you do this to me? And her dad is like, listen, you can tell Aunt Nadia that you don't want to go. Nice. But thank you for representing our family. Like, salute emoji, salute emoji, salute emoji. Yeah.
I love this dad. This dad seems like a fun guy. He's fun, yeah. So this is how Olivia ends up driving to Disney World on a Saturday afternoon. She, like, checks into her hotel room first thing, right? She's like, I'll go find out where I'm going to stay. And immediately she's, like, feeling weird, right?
Because there are like kids everywhere, right? Like swarms of kids running around. There are like families, you know, coordinating plans, looking at maps, trying to figure out like where to go. There are like people wearing those like Mickey Mouse ears that have like a veil on them. Oh, yeah. And she's like, I am the only one at Disney World alone. Yeah. Classic way to be at Disney World. The only single girl in Disney. Is that a classic way to be at Disney World? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Just really romantic kind of introspective way to be at Disney World. So Olivia's like, I'm feeling weird. I'm having a lot of regrets about being roped into doing this. Then she gets to her room and it has like a big tub and like a balcony and there's a pool downstairs. And like, sure, you know, the wallpaper looks tasteful at first, but then has like little secret Mickey Mouse ears in it. But like the robe is very soft. Yeah. And so she's like...
Maybe it's fine. Does she have included in her stay at this hotel tickets to any of the parks? Yes. Yes. So she has tickets to the Magic Kingdom. Okay. She doesn't have like all the parks, but she has the Magic Kingdom because that's where she has to go for dinner. Nice. Okay. Okay. So she gets a text from her Aunt Nadia when she's like, you know, taking her bag out or whatever. It's like, dinner's at 630. Can't wait to see you. It is 530 p.m. What do you do? You have one hour. Okay. We have one hour to get to...
I mean, if I'm her, I'm going to the Magic Kingdom and I'm going to ride Splash Mountain. You're going to ride Splash Mountain. You're beelining for Splash Mountain. Yes, definitely. Show up to dinner a little bit wet. That is kind of like a theme park staple is just being like slightly damp, either from like sweat or some water ride.
Olivia is like, I'm going to get dressed. I'm going to look at my phone for a few minutes. I'm going to decompress. And then I'm going to go to the Magic Kingdom. Nice. So she goes downstairs. There's a little bus for her, the Disney buses that takes her from her little hotel to the Magic Kingdom. They scan her ticket. She goes through the gates. She's walking down Main Street USA. Would you like to describe Main Street USA for the people who do not know what it is like as a Disney expert? Yeah. Yeah.
So Main Street USA is when you enter the Magic Kingdom, you are spit out into a kind of idyllic turn of the century American Main Street town with cute little pastel lights.
lining a avenue where characters kind of roam about and photographers take your photo and you're walking towards Cinderella's castle, but you've got like ice cream shops and little like candy stores and a lot of places that sell t-shirts. I saw a good take online recently that said that Americans love Disney world because it's a walkable city, which I think is a great take. Like it's like, yeah,
Yeah, it's a nice walkable city. There are lots of little things to do and see. You don't have to drive in your car. It has public transit. Right. Everything you need in walking distance. You've got food. You've got t-shirt stores. You've got a space mountain. Yeah. Just what everyone needs for every day of their life. One space mountain. Exactly. So that is exactly what Main Street USA is. Thank you for doing my job for me. I love it. While Olivia is like walking down Main Street USA, she gets a text from her Aunt Nadia.
In classic, like, aunt age person, Aunt Nadia has texted Olivia in the group text with her dad. Great. And has said, I got the pager. I'm going to run an errand and I'll text you when the table is ready. Perfect. And Olivia texts back, great. Let me know when it buzzes. And her dad texts back, jealous! With an exclamation point. Nice. And then a photo of him just surrounded by corn. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And Olivia's like...
I don't really have enough time to like ride a ride because I spent too much time looking at my phone, a classic problem. So she's like, I'll just like walk toward the castle, right? I'll go look at the castle.
And like, you know, she has come in very jaded. She has come in like, fuck Disney World. I don't want to be here. And she's like walking toward the castle. And you know, there are like people collapsing for videos to be taken, right? Like they're like crying with joy to see the castle. And she's like rolling her eyes, right? And as she gets like closer and closer to the castle, she's like, okay, it is like very lovely, right? Like it's like almost sunset. The castle is pink. She's like, it's
Yeah. She's like, is this the magic? Like, is this the magic inside of me that I feel? Aww. As she's looking at the castle, she gets a text from Aunt Nadia that says, table's ready. Great. Her dad texts back, table's ready. Olivia texts, on my way. I'm so excited for Nadia to see her whole family and to eat some food. Mm-hmm.
So she arrives at the restaurant. All 25 people in her family are, like, waiting in front because they, like, can't go in until all of them are there. So she has to, like, hug them like a bride, right? You know, where it's, like, you have to hug every single person in a line, basically. Yeah. And the buzzer is, like, going off. You know those buzzers that you get at Chili's? It's, like, vibrating. Like, it's going to explode. So her aunt Nadia is, like, trying to herd everyone in like a dog. Like, please, like, sheepdogging them into the entrance. Yes.
And she's like, oh my god, I'm already so overwhelmed. Like, this is so stressful. This dinner is at a place called the Crystal Palace. Have you ever been to the Crystal Palace? I have. I have many photos of... Yeah, I have photos of Tigger kind of like attacking me at the Crystal Palace. Oh, you're great. Great.
It's very charming. It's on Main Street, USA. Okay, so for people who have been to the Crystal Palace, I have not been there. I will try to describe it based on what I have learned. You can tell me if this is wrong. It is like...
Kind of what Southerners think a Victorian greenhouse is like. That's exactly how I would have described it. Like it's like glass windows on the side that like look like they could be doors that open, but I assume they don't open because it's like 100 degrees in Florida all the time and 90% humidity. Yeah. The roof is also glass and there's a dome made of glass. Yeah. Yeah.
It's like a conservatory. Yes, it's like a conservatory. I have no idea how it's not 500 million degrees in there. It looks so hot. That's such a good... I never thought of that because, you know...
I'm never really thinking about science when I'm at Disney World, but that's a really good point, actually. There are, like, lampposts that have, like, little lights and little hanging plants from them. It looks very cute, very idyllic in there. But also the floor is carpet, which seems important to me for some reason. Yeah.
Yes, this is also true. I think that's kind of like a show of we trust you all to be refined in here. Don't get your food on the floor. Oh, that's so funny. I assumed that it was like a legal liability problem of like, if children are going to run, they won't be slipping, right? There will be no slippery surfaces at Disney. That's a good point. I mean, in that case, all of Disney should be carpeted. That's a great idea. Yeah.
I did when I was looking at the map for the Crystal Palace notice that it was right next to the first aid place. And I was like, if you work at first aid at Disney, that number is 2679 gossip. We would love to hear what's happening in there. Okay, so they're at the Crystal Palace. They're like navigating around all these giant circle tables to get back to their like big long table for 25.
The way it works at the Crystal Palace is that you have a waiter for drinks if you're in this big of a group, but not for food. The food is a buffet. Also, there are characters walking around. So while the waiter is like delivering drinks, Olivia feels like hands on her shoulders. Oh my God. And she looks up and over her head is the like giant orb of Tigger's like orange face. This is literally...
This is literally my lived experience. And Olivia is like, oh, no, thank you. Please. No. And Tigger's just like waving. Nice. She's like, I hate this. She texts her dad and she's like, there are characters here. And her dad texts back, what kind? And she sends a picture of Tigger like standing behind her cousins on the other side of the table. And her dad's like, sicky. That's so great. I love Tigger. Basically, yes. Her dad's like, this seems great. I'm so happy for you. But also like,
this is the kind of family that feels like they're better than this. Right. So they're like, he's kind of like, Oh, well, glad you're there and not me. Right. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Aunt Nadia like stands up once they all have their drinks and like gives a little toast. She like talks about how her parents have been married for 50 years and they love each other so much. And it's like so beautiful. Happy 50th. And she like ends with a joke where she's like in celebration, nobody has to order off the kid's menu. Yeah.
And Olivia turns to her cousin Meredith, who is like the same age as her. And she's like, I thought this was a buffet. And Meredith like leans over conspiratorially and she's like, it is a buffet, but do you want to know, do you want to know the goss? Yes, Meredith. And Olivia's like, yes, duh. And Meredith is like, she's just joking because apparently Uncle Hector took like one of their other cousins to dinner who was 17 and made that cousin order off the kids menu. No way.
So even though like this family has plenty of money, Uncle Hector was like, you're ordering off the kids menu. Like, pretend you're 14. Wow. That's crazy behavior. Yes. Yes.
And Olivia is like, thank you so much. I love this information. I will hold it and cherish it in my heart. I love that Nadia is like, I've worked so hard to get this reservation. I've hurted all of my family. My parents have been in love for 50 years, but I have to make one joke about my brother. Yes, exactly. Her husband. Oh, no, her husband. Oh, no. Even better. Well, I don't know if that marriage is going to go 50 years. Well, yeah, we can't know.
So Olivia's like, okay, great. Love this information. She's like, I guess I should get my food, right? Everyone else has food. I'm going to go get my food. At this point, like Eeyore is leading like a parade of children. The kids are like running behind Eeyore, like waving green napkins. And Olivia is like, I want to die. Like this is my worst nightmare. Aww. Aww.
She feels a hand on, like, the back of her shoulder, and it's piglet, and his face is, like, so big and, like, the color of Pepto-Bismol. And she's like, please, like, I just want to take my food back to the table and eat it. Like, I want to eat this weird pasta in peace. Can every character leave me alone? You know, I'm just like, that pasta's definitely in the shape of Mickey Mouse's head. For sure, yeah. I feel like I'm having bodily flashbacks. To, like, some weird, like, mac and cheese. Yes.
Exactly. So Olivia is like sitting at her at this long, long table eating her like Mickey Mouse shaped mac and cheese shuffling into her mouth when Aunt Nadia spots Piglet and is like, Piglet! Oh my God!
And she like gets up from the table and she's like, Meredith, Meredith, Meredith, can you take our photo? Take my photo with Piglet. So Meredith like gets up and Olivia is like watching over her shoulder and she's like, oh my God, this is like insane. Like this woman is a grown adult. So excited to see Piglet. She's like, this is a great opportunity for me to make joke to my dad. So she opens her camera. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. She opens her front facing camera.
And it's like, so it's like her face in the foreground and she's like grimacing. And in the background, you can see like Piglet and Aunt Nadia like hugging very tightly. Right. Yeah.
And Olivia like takes a photo. She like puts it in the text. She's looking at it and she's like, I need like a good joke, right? I need like a little, a little dig to send to my dad. And what she comes up with is imagine calling the Disney 1-800 line for 15 days in a row to be felt up by Piglet. And she hits send. No. Her dad texts back and is like, I'm so glad I bribed you to go to this. If I had to see Piglet, I might off myself. And Olivia is like, does the ha ha response, right? Yeah.
She's like sipping her Mai Tai, has like an umbrella in it. It tastes like a Starburst. She's like gulping it down. Her aunt is still posing for photos behind us. Her cousin is still taking the photos when her phone buzzes. And it's a text from her dad that says, Mayday, we have a problem. No. Oh, no. Her stomach is like full of rocks. There are no texts between her and her dad above Mayday, we have a problem. Oh, no. Oh, no.
So she goes back to the messages and she sent the photo and the like little riff to the group with her dad and Aunt Nadia. Yeah, that's we got to get Aunt Nadia's phone. She like turns in slow motion to look over her shoulder. She's like watching Aunt Nadia like laugh hysterically with Piglet as she's like posing for photos. Right. She's like turning her shoulders like looking really great. Olivia is like watching the phone in Meredith's hands and she's like, I have to.
Yes, yes, yes. Oh my God, Alex, remember the week that you moved to a completely different state and then also at the same time we had a company retreat that was in New York City? Yes.
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Give me the phone. I need to delete some texts. And I tell my aunt, I want to take a picture of the two of you. Oh, that's smart. Right? Yeah. So she like leaps from her chair like an Olympian and she's like springing toward them. And she like turns toward them and her vision is just full orange because like Tigger is right here.
No. And Tigger is like playing defense. Like he's like blocking her out. Like she's going right and Tigger's going right. She's going left and Tigger's going left. They're like in this dance that she can't get out of. And Tigger like thinks this is funny and he can't talk because he's a Disney character. So she's just like losing her mind. That is kind of classic Tigger behavior. Yeah.
So it does track. Do you have a strategy to get around Tigger? I think you've got to just be like, Tigger, I respect the method acting, but I know there's a human in there and I have to delete some text. You've got to let me by and just hope that Tigger...
has been in the same situation. I like that you're like, I will simply announce to whatever six foot tall man is inside Tigger that it is a crisis. Olivia goes with the hug and pivot. Like she like hugs Tigger's middle and then spins around so that when she releases him, she's like on the other side of Tigger.
For a woman who claims to not like Disney, she really does have like an innate understanding of how to handle this situation. She's doing great. She's on the other side of Tigger. She's like walking toward Meredith and she sees Meredith give her aunt a thumbs up and she goes no as she watches Meredith lock the phone. No. No. Oh my God. Meredith turns to her and she's like, why were you texting Aunt Nadia? Like I saw your text pop up while I was taking the photos. Oh my God.
no and olivia is like pale as a ghost right she is like a sheet of paper yeah and meredith is like oh shit and olivia is like help me you have to help me and meredith is like what did you do and olivia is like well i was shit talking with my dad like it was just a bit and i texted it to the group with aunt nadia in it and i don't know what to do and meredith is like oh my god and
Well, so in this case, you have to be like, what is Meredith's birthday? Because that is definitely Aunt Nadia's passcode. I love where your brain is going. Aunt Nadia is like shuffling toward the buffet. So Meredith is like, I will go with her and like delay her, distract her for as long as possible. You take the phone, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So now you're holding the phone and you're like...
Olivia is like, I need to sit, right? She's like, I cannot hold two phones surrounded by characters who are moving and get this done. So she's like, I want to be seated in a way that when I have the phone and Aunt Nadia comes back, it doesn't seem weird. She has three places she could sit, right? She can go back to her own seat. She can sit in Aunt Nadia's empty seat or she can convince one of the two people on either side of Aunt Nadia's seat to move so she can sit there. What would be the benefit of sitting...
In one of those seats. That when Aunt Nadia returns, you're like seated there to talk to her if you need to explain. Oh, interesting. I think just sit in Aunt Nadia's seat for now. Why make more people move? I think that that is a great idea, except that Olivia is looking at the table and she's like, the people sitting next to Aunt Nadia...
are her husband, Uncle Hector, and some great aunt who's like trashed on Mai Tais already. Oh, wow. Okay. And so Olivia's like, if I'm looking at Aunt Nadia's phone, these two people will know. Oh, yeah. I think she's got to just go find a corner of the Crystal Palace. Go to the bathroom. We're already in so deep. We might as well be even creepier. I guess tell Uncle Hector to move, please. How? How?
Say, Uncle Hector, here's $10. Olivia, being very smart at her feet, goes, Uncle Hector, I really need to talk to Aunt Nadia about like a girl problem. Could I sit in your seat until she gets back? And Uncle Hector is like bolting away. God, so smart. Okay, but now you have the problem that you already expected. Aunt Nadia's phone is locked. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, yeah, I think all aunts' passcodes are their children's birthdays. So that's just what you got to do. Yes. So she tries the children's birthdays. And that doesn't work? Doesn't work. She texts her dad from her own phone and is like, what's Aunt Nadia's anniversary? Oh, that's nice. No luck.
She tries her grandparents' anniversary. No luck. Just as she's, like, about to try Aunt Nadia's own birthday, Aunt Nadia returns. Oh, God. Olivia is hunched over two phones, frantically typing, and Aunt Nadia is like, why do you have my phone? Oh, no. What do you do? Okay. Okay.
I have tried to get into my mom's phone before. I forget why. Uh-huh. You forget why. I forget why. I was in the car. I had her phone for the purpose of something that I was supposed to do. I think I was supposed to look something up. And her code was, I guess, you know, this is opening my mom up to hackers, but her code was some combination of her children's birthdays. But I kept on forgetting what the order was. Uh-huh.
And I got her, I tried so many times that I locked her phone and it became a brick for like 10 minutes. So that's one option. Just do a couple more and brick the phone. Yeah. But then that kind of just kicks the can down the road. I mean, what were, we have two options, right? We can either just tell her I accidentally texted something really shitty. But then that kind of kills the vibe.
Or yeah, just lie and say like, oh, I wanted to take a photo of blah, blah, blah. Or I want to airdrop something to you and hope she doesn't know how that works. So be like, open it and give me both phones and I'll do it. Or no. Oh my God. Here's what you do. This is what you do. You tell...
Aunt Nadia that you want her to airdrop some photos to you, but you assume that she doesn't know how to do it. So you say, I need you to unlock your phone and then I'll airdrop it to myself. And then you go and you delete the text and you airdrop the photos of her being followed up by Picklet. This is great. I also came up with some options that I think are pretty good. Like tell Aunt Nadia that you sent her a virus. Yes.
Yes. Oh my God, that's so good. Throw the phone into a fountain and run away. Run away is also always a good option. Olivia does none of these things. She's like, Aunt Nadia, sit down. Oh God. And then she weaves a tale. She is like, Aunt Nadia, I'm dating someone new. And Aunt Nadia is like, oh my God, who? And she's like, oh, just this person, you know, this guy. Olivia is a lesbian. Yeah.
She's like, it's going really well. And Nadia's like, oh, that's great. And Olivia's like, yeah, we've been texting. And Nadia's like, that's so great. And Olivia's like, yeah. And Nadia's like, I'm so happy for you. And Olivia's like, yeah, but the thing is, I was trying to send him some photos and I accidentally sent them to you. Good job, Olivia. This is really good work. And Nadia is like, what photos? Yeah.
And Olivia's like, you know what kind of photos I was sending that you can't see. And Aunt Nadia's eyes go really wide and she's like, at Disney World? Which is a valid point, to be fair to Aunt Nadia. And Olivia's like, yes? Yes?
And Aunt Nadia's like, at the table? I think that might be illegal. There are children here. And Olivia's like, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't take them at the table. But, like, I did send them at the table. Yeah. So, like, she's like, please, like, I just need to. And Aunt Nadia's like, oh, like, okay. And Olivia's like, can I delete them off your phone? And Aunt Nadia's like, of course. Nice. And Olivia watches her punch in one, two, three, four and hand it to Olivia. Yeah.
I mean, look, we're all laughing at Aunt Nadia, but the code worked. It worked. No, she didn't get in. So Olivia like deletes the text. She gets it there. She like deletes the text. She's like, thank you so much. Aunt Nadia's like, no problem, sweetie. Be careful.
Also good advice. Yeah. I mean, I am now just hoping that Aunt Nadia doesn't have, like, iMessage on her laptop. Luckily, Aunt Nadia does not. She does not know how any of that works. Okay, great. Oh, my God. Wow. I'm so proud of everyone involved in the story. I know. Olivia goes back to her seat. She's, like, cold because she has, like, adrenaline sweats. And Meredith is like, oh, my God, what happened? And Olivia is like, I deleted them. And Meredith is like, how? Yeah.
And Olivia's like, well, I told her that I accidentally sent her sexts. Yeah. And Meredith is, like, howling, laughing. Like, she's like, this is the funniest ruse that any of us have ever pulled. I'm so proud of you. Like, congratulations. And Olivia's like, I need to text my dad. And Meredith's like, about the sexts? You're going to, like, you want to text him about the sexts? And Olivia's like, there are no sexts. Like, I made them up. I need to text him to tell him that I got the texts deleted. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Meredith's like, oh, yeah, exactly. So she like very carefully makes sure she has the right window open and texts her dad, crisis averted. If Aunt Nadia asks, I have a boyfriend. And her dad is like, do you have a boyfriend? And Olivia is like, no, I am still a lesbian. And that is not the point. You owe me. I love that she's like, you owe me. But it's like, Olivia, you are the one who sent the bitchy thing in the first place. Yes. Yes.
Her adrenaline is like crashing through dessert, right? She's like a goner. She's too scared to order another drink because she's like, what else could I do to fuck this up, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. At the end of dinner, Aunt Nadia is like, come with us. It's fireworks time. Because, you know, every night in Disney World ends with fireworks. Do you go? Would you like to go to the fireworks? You know...
I, myself, have avoided the fireworks in Disney recently because while I might think that Disney is fine, I do hate crowds. But I think at this point, you're there with your whole family. You dodged a bullet. Yeah.
Why not go see the fireworks? Yeah. Olivia goes and there's like, you know, the Disney music playing and swelling. The fireworks are huge, right? They're like reflecting that moat. Like it's very beautiful. And she is like, I have to get out of here. Like if I spend one more minute here next to Aunt Nadia, I'm going to explode.
Yeah. So she like Irish goodbyes. She like disappears into the night, goes back to her hotel and text Aunt Nadia and is like, so sorry for bailing. I was just super tired after the drive and everything. I'll come to your hotel to say goodbye in the morning. Great. Well done. She sleeps peacefully through the night. She wakes up the next morning, checks out of her hotel. She drives to the like fancier hotel that her family is staying in.
And they're like, stay for breakfast. Like, hang out with us. And Olivia's like, no. I have to go to school. I have to go back to school. I have to get out of here. I'm feeling insane. Yeah. She's like, thank you so much for having me. I had a great time. She's like hugging everyone goodbye. She gets to Meredith and Meredith is like, dude, Aunt Nadia is telling everyone about your sex. Wow.
Do you think Olivia should confront her aunt? Like, how do you... What do you want to do here? How do you play this? I think you... You think you're lucky stars that your aunt didn't see you talk about her getting felt up by Piglet. And you just kind of roll with the punches. Yeah. That's what Olivia does. She's like, you know what? You dodge one bullet, you take another. This one is fine. Right? Like...
I will leave it. She drives back to college. She calls her dad. She's like, oh my God, like we made it. This story is obviously not over. Do you think that Aunt Nadia could let this go? No, I think definitely not. I mean, you know, if your niece accidentally sends you imaginary sex, that does, at your parents, it would be the anniversary party. I think why would you let that go? That's fun. Exactly. And Aunt Nadia is like, this is funny.
It's a good story. Yeah. She tells this story all the time. Yeah. For like six, seven years. Oh my God. Whenever like any cousin is on the phone near Aunt Nadia, she's like, don't you send me sex. Be careful who you're texting. Yeah.
Great running joke. Good bit. Yeah. But meanwhile, Meredith is telling like every cousin over the age of 15 the real version. Oh, no. Oh, no. So now like 50% of the family thinks that Olivia sent the texts and 50% of the family knows the truth. Yeah. And it is like a true generational divide. Yeah. Oh, no. How are you feeling? What are you?
Let's check in. She's rubbing her hands together like she's doing this little scheme. Yeah. I certainly, God, so many elements of this are resonating with me. Like, I have, I mean, I definitely won't reveal it on this podcast, but I have one main bad thing I've done in my life. The one, like, worst objectively bad thing I've done. And when I did it, I was like, no one can ever know about this thing that I've done. But I now have told about 20 to 30 people. Yeah.
And I'm just like, I can tell anyone as long as they don't know, like, three or four people that are involved in this. But I'm just like, that's playing with fire. You know, like, at some point, someone's going to tell someone who doesn't know that that person knows some person that's involved. Yeah. I think once you hit some quorum of people, and this is me giving advice to myself, you probably should just tell the people that are involved. I think it might be time for Olivia to tell Aunt Nadia. Yeah.
Yeah, Olivia, like, goes back and forth on this, but she's, like...
Ultimately, she doesn't want to correct Aunt Nadia because, like, it is a funny story. And it's, like, everyone's favorite story. And so she's like, if I correct it, the story, like, disappears. True. And she's also like, I still don't want Aunt Nadia to know that I was shit talking her. Like, it's been several years. I have grown up. I have realized that, like, Aunt Nadia put a lot into this dinner. And, like, I don't want to be like, oh, actually, I was being a little, like, outspoken.
asshole. Yeah, totally. And like, Olivia doesn't see this family that much. Like once she leaves college, she doesn't see them really all that often. So it's like not a problem. Did she move back to the Midwest because she missed agriculture? Probably. I mean, she's a big corn heir. What else was she gonna do? Her family lives inside the corn palace. Yeah, they live inside that giant corn on the side of the highway. Okay.
Okay, so like many years later, it is like time for her family to make their appearance at the big family Christmas. Okay. And at this point, Olivia is like dating this like absolutely lovely gym of a girl. And they are serious enough that this girl is coming to family Christmas for the first time. Oh, wow. Do you tell her this story? Which version of it do you tell her? Like how...
How do you introduce this woman to all of this? Right, God. I think you have to tell her, listen, I don't want to...
I don't want you to think that I'm a liar, but we do have something that we do need you to lie about. Because, I mean, there are so many elements, like my aunt's going to talk about me sexting a man. Like, you know, that didn't happen. We don't know what Olivia's history is with that. But like, yeah, that we don't. Yeah, I think this the partner needs to be forewarned.
And I think that's, you know, a nice bonding opportunity, like enjoying in our massive charade. Yeah. It's also like just good practice in general to not have any secrets that your family could reveal to someone you're dating. Like that's not a situation you want to be in. Good point. So Olivia is like, I'm going to tell her everything, right? I'm going to tell her this whole story, top to bottom, basically everything I've said here. And the girlfriend is like, this is hysterical. What's our party line? Oh, good. Yeah.
What do you think the party line should be?
Like, do you think the party line is like, yeah, she was sexting. Who cares? Like, what do you think? Well, I mean, I do wish I had more information about the level of conservative that the family was. But I think were it me, I would be like, sexting's normal. Crazy that she did it at dinner with everyone. Like, how horny did you have to be? But we've all been there, you know? Yeah, exactly. That's kind of what they come to, right? It's like...
Everyone sexts. It's fine. Olivia's like, great. My girlfriend is filled in on all the problems. I have told my family that she's coming. This is all like problem solved.
Except obviously the problem is not solved. On Christmas Eve, Olivia is in the kitchen, like refilling, you know, a boxed wine into her glass and her girlfriend's glass when she hears Uncle Hector begin to tell her girlfriend the story of the sext. Uh-huh. And he is like, so do you know this story? And she hears her girlfriend in the living room go, oh my God, no, what happened? Oh no. Oh no.
I have myself feigned ignorance about a story just to see if I can glean any new details. Olivia is like, I love her so much. Like, she's such a good sport. She knows they love to tell this story. Like, she's going to give them the platform and play the, like, captive audience, right? Yes.
So Uncle Hector begins the tale from his perspective, right? Which is that, like, Olivia comes running up to him and, like, has a girl problem and he has to leave and, like, blah, blah, blah, right? Yeah. This would all be fine. Except that Meredith is in that room. Oh, no. And Meredith is looking at Olivia's new girlfriend, trying to be a good cousin, thinking, like, if she hears this story about Olivia, she's going to think things that aren't true. And she goes, that's not what happened. Woo!
No, no, Meredith, why? Meredith like clearly thinks she's saving Olivia like she is like not clued in to what's going on here. So Olivia comes into the threshold with her like two glasses of wine. And Meredith is like, that's not what happened. Right, Olivia? Like, do you want to tell the real story?
Oh, my God. And then Olivia has to be like, I wasn't sexting a man. I was sexting a woman. And that's the difference. And then do a huge wink while shielding her face from all the old people in the room. Yeah. So you are going down with the ship. Like, you're like, I will ride this lie into the grave. Yes. Yeah. I'm riding the lie. Definitely. Yeah. Olivia is like, Meredith.
Chill out. It's fine if she hears this story. I'm not embarrassed by it. Wink, wink, wink. Like she knows. Let him tell the story. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah.
And Olivia's girlfriend is like, yeah, everybody sends sex now. It's like totally normal to do this. Yeah. And Aunt Nadia to Olivia's new girlfriend is like, oh, did you send sex to boys too? Is that normal for gay girls? I thought maybe like you wouldn't because and she is like not stopping. Right. She's like rambling on. And Olivia's new girlfriend is turning like the color of a poinsettia. And Olivia is like, now we're in a different situation. Right. Which is like.
I need to stop her. I need to stop Aunt Nadia from like bothering my girlfriend. Yeah. Oh, no. So Olivia is like, it is time to lie again. She is like, Aunt Nadia, like this story is really fun. But like, it's not really fun for me right now. Like, I'm feeling a little embarrassed that you're telling it and like, it's hurting my feelings. And like, when you bring this up, it makes me feel like you don't respect me. And like, none of this is true. Right. But she's like,
I just need her to stop. Yeah. Oh God. And the room goes like dead silent. And Nadia is like, I am so sorry. Like, I didn't know. I just thought it was a really fun story. Like I won't tell it anymore. And Olivia's like, feels like shit, but is like, thank you. Yeah. Yeah.
That's so sweet. That's family. It's family. But then that night when Olivia and her girlfriend go up to her room, the girlfriend is like distant. And Olivia's like, what's wrong? And she's like, I'm just like weirded out by the fact that you've managed to pull two perfect lies with no repercussions. And Olivia's like, yeah, but they were like to protect people's feelings. Like I wasn't trying to like...
Create chaos. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I'm a big fan of lying to protect people's feelings. Yeah. And then you sit with knowing that you're a big old liar. Yeah. Like the pain in this situation is mostly Olivia's. Yeah. This is like the end of our story. How do you feel?
I think good job her. I think her girlfriend should be impressed by her quick thinking abilities. And I think it's nice that she kept peace in the family. So I'm feeling good and wholesome after hearing this story. So are you on someone's side at this point? At the end? I think, you know, maybe this is completely wrong. But in my opinion, there are no sides to be have. I think everyone behaved differently.
In a good way. And I think that everyone has to assume their family is talking about them behind their back. Yeah, that's what families do. Yeah, that's the point of families. But I think it's nice to try to shield your family from knowing the specifics of that. Do you want to hear the final like updates that I have for you? I would love to. The final updates are that Aunt Nadia still does not have a clue about these like texts going out.
Um, and for a little while, Olivia had a problem where every time she saw Aunt Nadia, Aunt Nadia would like make guilty puppy eyes at her and like apologize over and over again. Yeah. And so eventually, Olivia is like still dating this girlfriend. And eventually, Olivia had to be like, you know what, she's inducted into like family land now. Like you can tell the story again. Nice. So the story is like back on the family floor again.
And she's just, you know, that's kind of the end is they're just still telling this sexting story, which is very beautiful. That's great. I love that the family has that.
Yeah, it's very cute. Blythe, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. This is a delight. I'm thrilled to learn that you are a Disney head. This was so fun. Oh my god, thank you so much for having me. I also am just like, okay, clearly like this, we try to protect, you try to protect the identity of these people. So I'm like, did this whole thing happen at SeaWorld? And I just loved it. They all had dinner in the orca's tank. Yeah, that's basically the kind of anonymizing we do. Yeah.
Thank you for listening to Normal Gossip. If you have a gossip story to share with us, email us at normalgossipatdefector.com or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679GOSSIP. If you love this podcast and want us to keep making it, become a friend or a friend of a friend at supportnormalgossip.com. You can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok at normalgossip.
You can follow Kelsey on all social media at at McKinneyKelsey. This podcast was produced by Alex Sujong-Loughlin. Diana Moskovitz is our story editor. Justin Ellis is Defectors Projects editor. Jasper Wang and Sean Kuhn are Defectors business guys. Tom Lay is our editor-in-chief. Jay Tolviera is our production assistant.
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Thanks to the rest of the Defector staff. Defector Media is a collectively owned, subscriber-based media company. Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia. Normal Gossip is hosted by Kelsey McKinney. I'm Taylor, and remember, you did not hear this from me. Radiotopia, from PRX.
