S3 Ep2: The Adventures of Flat Margaret with Jessica Goodman
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Before we get going today, I wanted to tell you about another Radiotopia podcast you should be listening to, Song Exploder. Song Exploder is an award-winning show about the creative process behind music. Artists break down one of their songs, letting you hear all the different layers in the recording, from instruments to beats to vocals. And most importantly, they talk about why they made the creative choices they did. Song Exploder is not just for music nerds. It's for anybody who cares about creativity or wants to feel inspired to create something.

It's hosted by Rishi Keshe Hiraway, who you might know from the podcast Home Cooking or the West Wing Weekly. The episodes are short, about 20 minutes each, and my recommendation is to start with an episode featuring an artist you love. And then listen to one with an artist you don't know at all. There are over 250 episodes with guests like Fleetwood Mac, Madonna, Solange, Beats,

Billy Eilish, Phoebe Bridgers, FK Twigs, The Killers, Dua Lipa, and John Batiste, and more. Each episode is really a miniature portrait of an artist and how their creative mind works, with the song as the lens we see them through. It's also a great way to discover new music. It's a different kind of experience to get introduced to a song this way, learning how and why each piece and idea came together before you hear the whole song at the end.

Find your favorite episode of Song Exploder and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or at songexploder.net. This is why you really shouldn't travel or do big, exciting things with people you don't know. ♪

Hi, and welcome to Normal Gossip. I'm Kelsey McKinney. In each episode of this podcast, we're going to bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. Today, I have with me as a little treat, Jessica Goodman. Jessica Goodman is the New York Times bestselling author of They'll Never Catch Us, They Wish They Were Us, and The Counselor's Jazz. Welcome to the show.

Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for having me. I cannot even begin to explain how excited I am to be here and also to hear the gossip. I'm thrilled that you're here. Do you want to start with like the most basic question of all and just tell me what your relationship to gossip is? Yes. I mean, thank you for asking. You're welcome. I would say that my relationship to gossip is longstanding, fruitful, and very important to me and my identity. Um,

Okay. How? I definitely like identify as a low stakes gossip, I would say. Okay. It's been this way. I've always been interested in what's happening, what the goings on are and, you know, who's doing what and where. And my mom has like all of my childhood like assignments stuffed away. Okay. It's just, you know, she loves me very much. Wow. And...

And recently she, or maybe a couple of years ago, she found this piece of paper that I drew in second grade that was like, what do you want to be when you grow up? And on one side of the piece of paper, I wrote that I wanted to be a journalist. And on the other side, I wrote that I wanted to be an author and write books. Wow. Congratulations on achieving both of your childhood dreams. How does it feel? Thank you. It feels good. This is a, this is just a humble, not even a humble, it's just a brag, but you're just bragging. Great job. I'm just bragging. But

on the journalism side, it says something like, I want to be a journalist because I want to know all the gossip before it happens. Yeah, same. And yeah, and I think that's how a lot of journalists start out because we just want to know what's up. We're nosy, we're inquisitive, we're curious. And so gossip has always been a part of my, I guess, personal and professional life. How did you know as a child that journalists were big gossips? Like, where did you gather this information? I don't know.

Honestly, it's a little confusing because what I drew was not of like a newspaper reporter or anything. It was of like a newscaster reading the traffic on Long Island where I'm from. So I don't know why I assumed that if you covered traffic, you also knew gossip. But, you know, maybe I watched like a TV show or a movie or something. But...

I don't know how I knew, but I think I just felt it in my bones. Also, my relationship to gossip has transformed in the past year or so because...

I co-wrote this book with Dumois, which is coming out in November. It's called Anon, Please, which if you follow Dumois, you know what that means. Keep the gossip anonymous. But so as part of that book, I've really been steeped in the world of celebrity gossip, working with the person who is Dumois. Yeah. Can you tell us first a little bit what it's like working with a gossip celebrity? And then second,

how that has like influenced your work on the book. Yeah. Well, we wrote the book together, you know, by doing a series of like long calls. And the book is a novel based on their life running this account. So it's like a novelized version of that. Yeah. And so I've learned a lot about like what it's like to run a celebrity gossip account. And let me tell you, it's pretty wild. Yeah.

Yeah, what have you learned? Is there anything you can share with us as a little sneak peek? I mean, I think what's pretty wild about it is that, like, DuMois regularly interacts with celebrities who are either, like, trying to get their own gossip out there, snuff their own gossip out, or, like, set the record straight in a lot of ways. So, like, I've never seen their DMs or their inbox, but, like, I can only imagine...

how chaotic it is and how full of like morsels and nuggets and craziness. I know someone who recently like an A-lister slid into their DMs to compliment something they had written and they,

that person like did not follow them at the time. And I like, this has really freaked me out because I'm like, oh my God, the celebrities are on Instagram. Like in the same way that you and I are like snooping around on Instagram, like the celebrities are there. Yes, they are. And, and, you know, of course there are Finstas, but I get the sense that a lot of celebrities just like hang out in their regular Instagram and like DM people like Dumas.

So my relationship to gossip in that way has changed because I've really been, like, thinking hard and deeply about, like, what it means to gossip about celebrities and, you know, with celebrities in a lot of ways, basically.

And, like, I've been thinking a lot about, like, why people are interested in celebrity gossip in that way because, you know, like, thinking about, like, motivations for characters and things like that. And let me tell you, gossip, it is hot and spicy and the people want it, as you know, Kelsey McKinney, host of Normal Gossip.

We love drama in this family. And I think it's so interesting that you say that like the celebrities are involved in this account, right? So like when you're having these conversations, you're having –

with someone who has essentially inverted a classic power dynamic, right? Where like usually you assume celebrities are like the ones with the platform and the ability to say whatever they want and the ability to kind of, you know, drive thousands of stands to action at any moment. And yet you have someone like Dumas who can like completely upend that natural order, which is kind of fascinating to me.

It's super fascinating, especially in our Instagramified world where celebrities have really taken the power away from some of the more traditional and longstanding sources of celebrity information like

magazines and you know tv and newspapers and tabloids in a lot of ways because you know you you and i have both worked in the magazine space and like a lot of celebrity profiles are now written by friends of celebrities or in in like a different sort of style than they had been where once a celebrity profile was like the end-all be-all and now celebrities have their own platforms in a lot of ways and so you know the the whole concept around celebrity gossip has really changed and

in the Instagram world. And obviously, I think Dumas is at the forefront of that. So it was really like my little gossip loving little body brain heart was just really excited to work on this book with them. As a fiction writer, I do want to ask you about, you know, most of your first three books are all YA, which means that they're dealing with high schoolers, high schoolers and like late high schoolers. High schoolers famously obsessed with gossip, cannot get enough of it.

Famously obsessed. They are. How have you, like, used that thought about it in approaching those stories? Oh, my God. That's such a great question because gossip was, like, the cornerstone of my high school experience. Okay. For good or for evil? I think for both. Like, there's so – I mean, there's so many ways that gossip can be a plot point because, I mean, I write stories about young women mostly who –

have really strong and complicated female friendships. And those female friendships are often very important, like plot points, you know, and what happens based on how these girls are interacting with one another and their friendships. And I mean, when you're a young person, if you find out that your best friend has talked shit about you or told someone something that you told them in confidence,

highest stakes on the planet. Your entire life is ruined, or at least it seems that way to you at the time. And I have been in this situation where I have told somebody something that I shouldn't have. And I've also been in the situation where somebody has told something that I share with them in confidence.

And in all those times, my world was over, you know, until everybody moved on. And I think that, like, when you're writing about young people, especially teenagers, the stakes are so high even without, you know, grade A level, you know, traditional drama. It's just high because you're so emotional at that age and things feel so intense. And so I love writing teenagers and I love writing teenagers who love to gossip because

Because there's so much drama and mischief that they can get into just by like having a game of telephone by accident.

I'm laughing because all three of your books so far are also about a murder. So it's like very funny to hear you say the highest stakes in the world are gossip, right? Like, oh. I mean, let's be real though. All of those murders could have been avoided. Without gossip. Without gossip. So with somebody who loves gossip, perhaps my work is a warning to

To young people. Just one big flashing neon sight that's like, don't gossip or your friends might die. To transition us into today's story, and speaking of something that teen girls often like, have you ever liked any boy bands? Yes. Definitely. Which ones?

I would say that I am team Backstreet Boys for sure. Okay, interesting. I also went through a phase where, you know, I was born in the 90s, and so Backstreet Boys and Sync was, like, my vibe, but very much a Backstreet Boys kind of gal. But I also went through a phase where I was into, like, old school music, and so, like, New Kids on the Block seemed, like, very cool and ironic to me, and I actually really liked them. So you are a boy band aficionado. Yeah, are you? Yeah.

Yeah, definitely. I mean, I love a boy band. But sadly, I was on the team of NSYNC in elementary school, though barely because I was mostly on Britney Spears' team. So I was like, I don't care about these two bands. I loved Britney Spears, too. I mean, a fun thing about me is that one of the guys from Dream Street – do you know this band, Dream Street? One of those guys went to my elementary school. Wow. And so I think he was a couple years older than me, but –

Everyone in my circle was like, we are ground zero for Dream Street. We were like the street team of Dream Street. If anybody wants to get down on Dream Street with me, get in my DMs. What does it feel like to be so close to celebrity? Just like in its grasp. You know what? It feels good. But you can know that I definitely went to summer camp that year that they blew up. And I was like, oh, yeah. Dream Street used to go to my elementary school. ♪

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Can you please just like close your eyes and imagine that the number one song in the country is Royals by Lorde. Imagine it is late November 2013 and you are 23. You're still trying to get your bearings in a new city and like desperate to figure out how you can have the kind of like dream life that you want, but you like barely have enough money for rent. Did you rip this from my diary? Did you rip this from my diary? Yeah.

Okay, sure. I'll go back in time. Only because I don't have access to your diary. How does this situation make you feel? It makes me feel like I'm like exactly how I was at 23 living in New York for the first time being like, I am the queen of the world and I'm going out to have 45 whiskey diet Cokes tonight. You have to. You're immortal. There's no reason not to. Okay, so our friend of a friend, Alice,

Okay, I've been there. Yes, chef. Okay.

Her like dream one day is to have her own restaurant. But what that means for now, though, is that she is just working all the time, like every day forever. And she feels like she's getting nowhere. Right. She's like, all I do is go to work, come home, try to figure out how to feed myself, do my stupid chores, scroll on my phone for half an hour, wake up and do it all again. One day, Alice is on her like, you know, you get a 20 minute break.

So she takes her 20-minute break outside, and she sees that she has not one but two calls from Sarah. Sarah is an angel. Alice is like, Sarah is my oldest friend. She would never call me for something stupid. She's responsible. She's a Virgo. She's in med school. We love Sarah. Okay. Everybody needs a Sarah. Yes. So Alice is like, obviously, I'm going to call her back immediately because she called me two times. So she calls her back, and Sarah is like, Alice, hello. Are you free in August? Yes.

And Alice is like, ma'am, it is November. August is so far away. And Sarah's like, I know, I know. But did you log into the social media site that we check every single day today?

Is the social media site Facebook? No. Okay. Important context here is that Sarah and Alice love this site. Like they started doing it together in high school and just never stopped. And specifically, they're on a portion of the site devoted to Alice and Sarah's absolute favorite band. It is 2014. Would you like to guess which band it is?

2014, their favorite band, we were talking about boy bands. So, I mean, boy bands, like, Fall Out Boy? Yeah.

No, it's One Direction. Oh, of course. Okay, got it. Wait, what website is this? It's Tumblr. It's Tumblr. Okay. Oh, we're really in 2013. Okay, got it. Journey back in your brain. Tumblr, One Direction, 2013, baby Harry Styles. Okay. Exactly. So Sarah is like a huge Zayn fan because she thinks that they have a lot in common. And Alice is more of a Harry Styles gal.

Right. And this is like pre Zayn going on his own. Okay. Exactly. This is like right before Zayn went on his own, right? A couple years. Okay. Yes. We have been over fan fiction on the pod before. I just want to clarify that's not what we're doing and that's not the part of the internet that these girls are on. They're just like in stand zone, right? Like they just love the band. Okay.

I'm familiar. Okay. Alice is like, no, I have not been on tumblr.com today because I have been at my line cook job for 500 hours. And Sarah is like, well, they just announced a tour with 21 stops in the United States. Fantastic. Fantastic.

Fantastic. Alice is like, I want to be super happy about this. I want to feel the optimism that Sarah has. She's like, but I do not have like the cash reserves to see One Direction, much less the cash reserves to travel to see One Direction. Also, when you're that age, I mean, even now sometimes. Mm hmm.

This is November and that's in August. You're like, who knows what my life will be like? Who knows if I'll even be living in the same place, what country I'll be in, where I am, what job I have. It's like impossible to plan that far in advance. Yes.

So Alice is like, oh, that's great that they're having a tour. And Sarah is like, well, I'm trying to ask if you want to go with me. And Alice is like, I mean, yeah, but it's 500 years away. And also I can't afford tickets. And Sarah is like, well, my parents have offered to buy me a ticket since I'm so miserable in med school. And they've offered to buy one for a friend. So that's what I'm calling to ask about. Yeah.

Oh, well, thank you. Thank you to Sarah's parents. That's so nice of them. What a gift. Yeah. So Alice is like, in that case, hell yeah, I'd love to see One Direction. Like, thank you. She's like, we'll have to be a little frugal, though, because like, I don't have a lot of money to blow on this trip. Right.

Okay, wait. So One Direction is not coming to their mid-sized city. They have to travel to a different city to see One Direction. Okay, cool. I hope they're going somewhere fun. Yes. So a few weeks later, Sarah calls Alice and they go online together to the website because tickets are about to go live. Do you have any experience buying concert tickets online? No.

Yes, it's hell, especially something like One Direction. It's a nightmare. And it was worse in 2013 because in 2013, they hadn't built out that technology yet that gives fans first access. So basically, you set an alarm on your phone and then pray to whatever god you believe in. And then it doesn't matter because the ticket bots get them all. I'm upset that 2013 is almost 10 years ago. I don't want to think about that too hard, to be honest. Yeah, okay, moving on. Um...

So Alice and Sarah's like plan, you know, they have like their phones open, they have their computers open, they have everything open. No luck. They don't get tickets for their first choice city. They don't get tickets for their second choice city. They don't get tickets at all. And they were like, this sucks. We love this band so much. My parents are going to buy us tickets. What do you think they should do?

Oh my gosh, this is so sad. I think they need to start going on Craigslist. And I think they need to start going on all of those little sites that everybody uses to get the resale tickets. But it sucks because the resale tickets are always so much more expensive and you never really get what you want. And so I think in 2013...

What I would have done is picked, like, four cities and the weeks before, like, tried to get, like, this is, like, really not going to work for a Virgo. But, like, try to go last minute because there's so many opportunities to, like, get those last minute tickets of people who, like, really can't go or need to offload or whatever. Like, I feel like that's when you get the cheap tickets is, like, right before. But that sucks because it's not in your city. So, like, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Travel and then not go? I don't know. Oh, it's tough. It's really tough. They're in a pickle. Yeah.

Yes. So I agree with you that probably the smart decision would be to like wait until the week before. But Sarah is a Virgo like me. And she's like, if I leave anything up to spontaneity, I'll die. So she understands. Yeah. She's like, I'm going to log on to the social media site. And I'm going to be like, hello, we are looking for tickets in to the show in one of these two cities, and we have money to pay for them. So just like,

Throw it out into the universe that we're looking for these tickets. We will pay $1 million for your tickets. Highest bidder, come at us. For a couple weeks, they get, like, no hits, right? It's just, like, months are going by. They've got nothing. In March, Sarah's like, I'm posting again because, like, soon the tickets will be too expensive to fly places. So, like, I'm going to give it one last chance.

immediately they get a message from this girl, Violet, who they've known online forever. Absolute sweetheart, like the kind of online friend who like faves everything you do and always comments on your photos and stuff. If this is going to be a catfishing story, I'm excited. It's not. Oh, okay. But Violet and her best friend, Elizabeth, have always been really nice to Sarah and Alice. So they're like, we kind of have this parasocial friendship. They're going together. They have two extra tickets. Like,

Oh my gosh. It seems like a good deal. So fun. They'll let us buy them at face value and sit with them. And they're like a little more than we wanted to pay, but also they're in the pit.

Wow. Okay. That sounds really fun, especially if it's a city that is easy to get to and the tickets aren't super expensive. That sounds great. Making some new friends. Like, okay, because this sounds good, it's obviously all going to go to shit, but I'm excited to see how. Yes. They're like, great idea. We love it. So they talk to Violet up front and they're like, listen.

We're in. Like, we'll buy this, but we don't have, like, a ton of money to blow on this trip because Alice is on a tight budget and, like, Sarah is in med school. Violet's like, oh, my God, of course. Like, no problem. We can get one hotel room with two full beds if that works. And, like, we'll strategize from there. Wait, so Violet and her friend also don't live in this city. They are also traveling to go to this concert. Okay, wow. Yes. Everyone is traveling to see One Direction. Wow. Okay. For sure. Okay. Okay.

Violet puts them in like a group text with the four of them, right? So now we have like moved into texting.

And these girls are amped and they are well organized. So the first thing they do is they decide that they're all going to bring gifts for each other to like celebrate the show because it will make it feel more exciting. Wait, this is so sweet. I love this. What kind of gifts are we talking about? We'll get there. Please be patient. I'm sorry. I'm so excited. I love I love friendship.

It's so nice. The second thing they do is they divide up responsibilities, right? Wow, these girls are very organized. Yes. Especially for like basic strangers. Okay. Yes. But they're all excited. This is like the most important night of their life. It's a huge deal. So they're like Violet's in charge of the hotel room. Alice, because she's a chef, is in charge of like meals. Yes.

Sarah is in charge of logistics, so like getting everyone from point A to point B. Elizabeth is not in charge of anything because of what we will call Elizabeth's misery. Uh-oh. ♪

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It is so relatable to me. I would like never check my bank account unless I really, really have to because it gives me so much anxiety. And is there a reason that you check your bank account now? Yeah, I get these awesome emails from Rocket Money that are like, hey, FYI, this is how much you spent last week. And it feels like a gentle person holding my hand as I go to my bank account. Oh, yeah.

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Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash gossip. That's rocketmoney.com slash gossip. rocketmoney.com slash gossip. Oh my God, Alex, remember the week that you moved to a completely different state and then also at the same time we had a company retreat that was in New York City? Yeah.

That was not my strongest planning moment in my entire life. Well, it's a hard moment to plan for because you're like living in four different places, basically. One thing that I did plan really well, though, was that I ordered a factor box for the day after I came back from New York. What's a factor box?

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On the same day that Alice and Sarah failed to get tickets online, Elizabeth and her sister Margaret were sitting in their like one direction ticket war room that they had built at Elizabeth's apartment. They had like eight electronics open. And the minute the clock struck, they're like hitting yes. Right. Margaret also has one of those fancy credit cards. It's like really heavy and made of metal that allows you to buy tickets early. So they were like in early. Yeah.

They get four tickets pretty easily, two for Elizabeth and her sister, one for Violet, and one for whoever else wanted to go. Wait, but is this the same trip? Okay, so Elizabeth's, I'm going to assume Elizabeth's sister, for some reason, can't go. Yes. What happened next is that after they got the tickets, Margaret left Elizabeth's apartment, so her sister left her apartment, to go to work. And on her way there, she was rear-ended and smashed into the car in front of her.

Poor Margaret. So she had to go to the hospital. She was so dizzy. Elizabeth is like, I watched Grey's Anatomy. Like, maybe she has a concussion. Maybe she has a brain bleed. Yeah, we've all thought that. Terrifying. Elizabeth and Margaret spent 14 hours in the hospital. Oh my god.

I know. Before they were like dismissed. Right. Oh, yeah. So Margaret. Yes. After this, like Margaret had a really hard time driving. She had like some PTSD normal for a car accident and also like a bunch of other shit went wrong. So now she has to have surgery the week before the concert and can't come. So that's why they were able to give the tickets to Alice and Sarah.

Damn. Okay. So Elizabeth's misery is like kind of justified, I guess. Yeah. I'm picturing Margaret being like, go on without me. You must see One Direction. Like, I don't need you to take care of me. The pilgrimage to see One Direction only requires one of them to make it for their family. Yeah. She's like, go forth. Bring me back a t-shirt. Exactly.

Exactly. Okay, so that's like the context of this trip. We have three girls who are planning one girl with a hurt sister. And like we're moving forward. Yeah, okay. Okay. Because everyone is arriving at like an East Coast airport, they decide we'll meet at a bar in the terminal and then we'll share an Uber to the hotel.

Wow. Okay. So they were organized enough to like get their flights to arrive around the same time too. So Sarah, because Sarah is in charge of logistics and she's like, I've done the math and it's cheaper to take an Uber than to take a shuttle. She's probably right. Wait. So are they all, they're all coming from like two and two are coming from different cities though. Yes. Not the same city. Okay. Got it. Great. So Alice and Sarah arrived first on their flight and they had their little beers and like 45 minutes later, Elizabeth shows up.

And immediately Alice is like, I don't know about this girl. Vibes off. Yes. Elizabeth is like all dolled up. Like she just got off a plane, but she looks like she could like head into a runway at any minute.

Like high heels dress kind of situation. Yes. Yes. Like hair is perfect. Nails are done. She has like somehow more bags than you're allowed to have on a plane. Right. Like that's the kind of scenario. And they're only there for the weekend. Exactly. And they're there for two days. Okay, cool.

So Elizabeth is like hugging both Alice and Sarah when she like remembers something and she goes digging through one of her bags. She's pulling out like all sorts of shit, right? She's pulling out like a phone charger, a makeup bag, an Ellen Hildebrand book, right? Another phone charger. Finally, she's like, aha. And she pulls from the bag a tiny paper doll that has been sloppily glued to a piece of cardboard and laminated and attached to one of those giant popsicle sticks that doctors use to look down your throat.

Wait, like a flat Stanley on a popsicle stick? Yes. Okay. It's not flat Stanley. It's a little doll picture of her sister.

Okay. Okay. Elizabeth is like, let's take a pic with Margaret. Wait, do Alice and Sarah know about the context or is this just like random? Yes. They know about the context because Elizabeth will not shut up about it. So she's like, my sister sacrificed for us to have these tickets. Right? Okay. Okay. She's kind of like, we're going to take pictures to send to my sister the whole weekend. So when she's like, let's take a picture with Margaret, Alice and Sarah are like, what

what the fuck is going on but sure that's that's the correct response exactly Elizabeth is like not satisfied with the first picture because her sister is washed out and it is very difficult you mean the flat Stanley version of her sister okay and the flat Stanley Margaret is like difficult to get the camera to focus on because it's laminated so it's like super shiny at

It's right. She didn't think she didn't. She's not a Virgo. She didn't think this through. After like five attempts, Elizabeth is like recruiting a stranger to take a picture of the four of them. Oh, my God. Poor Sarah and Alice. OK, so this takes like 10 minutes. Right. And when it's done, Sarah is like, Elizabeth, where is Violet? Like, when does Violet get in? I want to get us in an Uber and get away from this bar where all of these people have seen us taking a picture. Right.

And Elizabeth is like, oh, Violet's already at the hotel. She got in a few days ago. This is theoretically not a big deal. But of course, Sarah's like in the Uber texting Alice. And she's like,

If she wasn't going to take the Uber, she should have told me, right? I agree with Sarah. Also, I'm going to assume that they had been all chit-chatting on a group text for the whole week before. So why wasn't Violet like, hey guys, I'm here. Like, I got here early. Like, it's weird to pretend like you're somewhere texting when you're not. Exactly. So she just let them all think that she was getting on the plane with Elizabeth. Okay. Violet, you seemed cool. Now you're

You're sus. Yeah. So Sarah is like really mad. She's like, you know, with three of us, we could have taken the shuttle and it would have been cheaper. The only reason I chose to take the Uber is because there are four of us. Alice is like, well, technically there are four of us if you count Margaret. No, she didn't. No, she didn't. Stop it. Sarah is like, lol. So already we have chaos. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

They arrive at the hotel and it is like objectively nothing to write home about, right? It's like a big box hotel. It has two beds and a TV, whatever. They get there. Violet is like on one bed watching TV. So they're like making small talk, getting to know each other. Violet's like, I already put all my stuff in this closet. So y'all can use like all of these drawers in the other closet. They're like, whatever. They're putting all their stuff away. So Violet has been staying in this hotel room for days? Yes. Yes.

Okay, I'm concerned about Violet. Sarah, having none of this because she's mad at Violet for not taking an Uber with them, is like...

Why exactly are you here so early? Thank you, Sarah. I'm glad that Sarah is confrontational enough to ask the real questions because when you're 23, and even when you're older, it's very easy to be very passive-aggressive about this stuff and just be like, all right, I guess this is how my life is going. I guess I'm just going to sit back and take this weird shit. And Sarah is like, no, I need some answers here. And I really respect Sarah for that. Absolutely.

Alice is like, Sarah's not going to let this go, right? Like she's like, I can just tell that this is already like, this is it. It's going to be like this the whole weekend. And Violet is like, oh, you know, I got here a few days early because one of my friends had One Direction tickets to the shows last night. This feels like treason and I can't really put my finger on why. Sarah is like, wait, so you've already seen the show?

And Violet is like, yeah, twice. It's so good. And she starts, like, raving about the show. Wait, she's seen it twice? She went twice in this city and she's going a third time with them? Mm-hmm.

Why didn't she say something if they're all texting the whole week? Sarah cannot handle this. Sarah is like, one, going to vomit out of envy. Two, she's like, I stayed offline, like off of the Tumblr for weeks to avoid spoilers for this show. Like about the set list and like the decor and stuff like that. Oh my God. Oh my God.

I feel for Sarah because it's so nice to love something so much. And then Violet's like gripping it away from her. So what do you think Sarah should do? Like Violet is going on and on. How do you stop her? I think you would say, I mean, if you're being like a mature adult, I think you would say, I'm so happy that you had those experiences. This therapist voice. I know, right? I

I've really been trying to avoid spoilers and I would really appreciate if you could just like, you know, let me not hear anything. Like, please keep it to yourself. We can chat about everything tomorrow night after we've already seen the show. But if I'm being like chaotic drama Sarah, which I kind of hope she is, I think you start yelling at her and you're like, why are you, like, why didn't you tell us? This is so strange. We don't even know you. Like, why are you being, like, why aren't you?

being real with us. This is so weird. What are you hiding? Alice, like, can see Sarah on the brink of, like, full explosion. Right? Good. Let's hear it. And so before Sarah explodes, Alice is like, let's do our gifts. Everyone, gift time. Yay. Oh, I forgot about the gifts. Okay. I hope Elizabeth brought them all flat margarits and, like, that's her gift.

She's like, one for you, one for you, one for you. Take it with you on your journeys. No, there's only one flat Margaret. Of course, she is unique. Yeah, so everyone does their gifts. Violet has gotten everyone like these necklaces that glow and have like one direction on them. Sarah has gotten everyone cups, like those big cups with a straw that have the boys' faces on them.

I know. Elizabeth has not gotten anyone their own gift because she's been busy with her sister, but she has brought a whole bottle of champagne. Okay. Wait, how did she bring it on the plane? Would fucking love to know. Okay. Okay, Elizabeth. A little scary. We like it.

Maybe she bought it at like duty free or something. I guess she could have. Yeah, I don't. This was not disclosed to me how she got it there, but she had one. Okay, great. She just pulls it out like Mary Poppins. Exactly. Okay. Alice like feels a little self-conscious because she was like, I thought that we were making gifts. Like I couldn't go out and buy a gift. Okay. Well, we love handmade gifts. I mean, if anyone shits on it, they're dead to me.

Alice has brought everyone a little book for each of their favorite guys in the band with pages of like facts about them and a basic biography in reference to the song story of my life.

I think I might cry that that is the sweetest, most genuine gift one could ever give or receive. That's so that's so nice. It's so cute. And she hands them out and she's like a little self-conscious and everyone's like, I love it. I love it. I love it. And Elizabeth is like, wow, I used to make things just like this when I was a kid. OK, that's so mean, Elizabeth. It's so mean.

And Alice is like really upset, right? Because she's like, I was already self-conscious.

And, like, she's about to, like, turn on Elizabeth, right? Like, teeth bared when Elizabeth's phone rings and it's her sister. And so she, like, runs out into the hall to take it. This is why you really shouldn't travel or do big, exciting things with people you don't know. Because I'm going to assume that One Direction is, like, a pivotal, not just, like, band, but, like, just value in these people's lives. And they're really risking a lot, right?

by not going with people that they really trust. You know, it's like, it's like doing like a serious drug with people you don't know. It's like, I don't know, man, that's, that's really, really risky. You don't know what's gonna happen. It is. But like Sarah and Violet try to console her right there. Like we love our books. Like we think this is so cute. We're gonna keep ours forever. Like it's perfect. Violet is like, I love mine. I love Liam so much. He's a perfect angel.

When Elizabeth comes back in, Alice puts her shoes on because she's like, I need to go to the grocery store and get a rotisserie chicken and some other supplies because like I'm going to make us a big salad for dinner before we go like out for a special surprise. I love that. Rotisserie chicken is a staple in my life too. So I feel really supportive of this move. I had one for lunch. They're perfect. Yeah, they're fantastic. Immediately, Elizabeth is like, oh, I'm actually a vegan. Yeah.

huh, was that not discussed? Alice is like, are you fucking kidding me? Like I asked everyone their dietary restrictions. And Elizabeth is like, I'm sorry, it's new. I just like changed my diet to make my sister feel better about hers. Does it like really mess everything up for you? And Alice internally is like, yes, it does mess everything up for me. But externally, she's like, no, no, no, it's fine. I'll find us a plan.

Chick peas it is. Exactly. She's like, I'll just go to the grocery store and I'll figure it out. Violet is like, oh, actually, there's another problem with your plan. And Alice is like, what now? And Violet is like, the problem is that there is no fridge in our hotel room. Uh-oh. Okay. So this is a Violet problem because Violet booked the hotel room. Yes. Yes.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay, but you're going to spend more money by not having a fridge and having to go out, even to Jimmy John's or whatever. But for people whom money is not a big deal, they don't really understand that, right? Okay, right. So Violet and Elizabeth, money's not a big deal. They don't really care. Okay. Okay.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's not looking good for our dear friend, Alice. Okay. Alice is like, fine, I'm going to figure this out. As her special plan for the night, she had found them a karaoke bar that they could go to. And so she calls the karaoke bar and she's like, do you have vegan food? And they're like, okay, yes. And she's like, okay, perfect. So the karaoke bar has small plates and they have pitchers of beer. And Alice is like, good enough. Great. Okay. Okay.

Everyone's excited. Sarah orders them an Uber. They go to the bar. In the car, Alice texts Sarah and is like, they are...

A lot. Again, this is why you really shouldn't do big things with people you don't know and have never met. Like I, there are so few people in my life that I would do something like this with and I know them all so well and so deeply. Yes. Sarah is like, I agree. I know. But also like, let's try and have fun at karaoke, right? Like let's not get fucked up by this.

Yes. This is also like, I actually could, I take it back because I definitely would have done something like this in my early 20s and I probably did. Like, I definitely went to music festivals with people that I like barely knew, but I don't think I would like, no, you know what? I went to Bonnaroo with people that I barely knew and I had a great time. I had a great time. So like, okay.

Okay, girls. I see you. You're one to talk. Over here, let's never take a trip with people you don't know. I know. I just had a flashback. I was like, oh, right. I did go to Bonnaroo with people that I like. One of the girls I shared a tent with, I was very, very good friends with. So, like, yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm done. Okay.

They get to the karaoke bar. Elizabeth, like, makes them take a photo with her cutout sister outside. Right? Fine. Alice's feelings of, like, dislike for Elizabeth are only intensifying. Like, they get into the karaoke room. I agree. Yeah. Elizabeth does not like the vegan food that is offered. Immediately, she's also like, oh, my God, I just love to sing. Yeah.

Oh, she's a don't make me sing kind of girl. Uh-huh. Exactly. Don't make me sing. Oh, my gosh. I can't wait. Alice and Sarah are like, yeah, we were in choir in high school, too. Like, we also like to sing. It'll be fun. Everything starts off okay. They sing some One Direction songs. Alice is Harry. Sarah is Zayn. Violet is Liam. Elizabeth is Niall. And the cutout of Elizabeth's sister, Margaret, is Louis. Yeah.

Okay, so Margaret does have a song. Good to know she is Lewis. Great. Fantastic. This is okay, but there are only two mics and Elizabeth is singing two parts. So she's like hogging one of the two mics. Okay. Okay. I'm upset with Elizabeth. Everyone is drinking a lot of beer. Just so much beer. And suddenly the cue for the songs, you know how you can like see it at the bottom? The cue for the songs is like,

getting competitive, right? Like, yeah, someone is singing Celine Dion. Someone is singing Whitney Houston. Someone is belting out like a Spring Awakening song. Okay, so it's a karaoke bar where people are actually good. It's not like, it's not like a jokey kind of karaoke room. Okay. Yeah. Yes. Alice can tell that like, Elizabeth is getting upset.

And she can see Violet's phone on the table, like, lighting up with text from Elizabeth. So it's, like, not like Elizabeth is being subtle about the fact that she's, like, not happy that other people are also good at singing. Oh, my gosh. I love that these two groups of girls are, like, side texting one another, too. Yes.

Alice, like, goes and does her song and afterward Elizabeth is like, you're a little pitchy. Elizabeth? Who says that? That is such an insane thing to say. Coupled with the fact that she was also, like, shitting on her lovely, thoughtful, beautiful present. Yes. Sarah texts her immediately after this and is like,

maybe let's like cool it right like Elizabeth seems upset let's not like create chaos

See, yeah. Sarah is just like, let's get through the concert. Like, I really just want to see this concert and have no drama and just make sure I get there. Yeah, I understand. I understand. But I would also love to see them just like completely get rid of these girls. But it's hard because they got the tickets from these girls. Yeah. Okay. Alice is like no way in hell. I am not going to stop singing because this adult woman is throwing a little fit. Yeah.

Sarah is like, okay, but she's like having an emotional time. Like her sister is hurt. Like, please think about this. And Alice is like, guess what? I don't care. I'm also having a hard time.

Yeah. Alice is 23 and life is hard. You know, when you're 20, everyone's having a hard time at 23. You know, all these girls are going through something. Awful age. And Sarah is like, OK, yes, you're also having a hard time. But like there's a little bit of a difference in the hard time of like you're figuring out your job and she has like family drama. Yeah.

And Alice is like, do not care. Cannot be brought to care. She grabs all of all of those things can be hard. Yes. Everything can be hard at once. She grabs the remote. She punches in the code for the perfect song to destroy Elizabeth. That song is Beyonce's love on top. She must have the range. That is wild. Uh,

What is famously a hard song to sing? It has by my count, like 75 key changes. And it also requires you to be able to not breathe for like four minutes.

Also, like, I love that this has turned into a sing-off. I was really not expecting that. This is crazy. Okay, so Alice thinks that she's going to crush Elizabeth while singing Beyonce's Love on Top. Yes. By Beyonce. Yes. Okay, okay. For sure. I love the confidence. Except when this song comes up, Elizabeth also stands up.

to go to the stage. Wait, she put it in too? Yes, they both put it in the queue. Oh my God, these girls are wild. I love them. So Alice is like, this is my song and Elizabeth is like, no, it's not. I also put this in as a song. So then they have to sing Love on Top together. Yeah.

That is so, so chaotic. Oh, my gosh. And wait, I hope it's like that scene in Bridesmaids when Rose Byrne and, like, Kristen Wiig are kind of, like, going head to toe, you know? Like, when they do their speeches. Oh, my God. For the next hour, Alice is, like, pouting. Wait, is it because Elizabeth actually had a better voice than her and, like, crushed her while singing Beyonce's Love on Top? No, I think it's just, like, she's mad. She's like, this is not how I wanted this to go. Yeah.

Also, like this was a travel day. So these people might be tired. Yes. Everyone's exhausted. Wow. Okay. Really big day. Highs and lows. In the Uber home, everyone is texting their buddy, right? So you can't get

It's just like everyone's like quiet, furiously texting one another. Literally everyone's furiously typing in the car home. How are you feeling at this point? I'm feeling great, personally. I feel terrible for everybody involved because, you know what? These girls don't want to be with each other. They just want to be alone. And if they had been...

different people. What they would have done was just had two separate weekends and then met up at the concert or maybe before the concert, you know, for like a little quick drink at the snack bar or something like that. Yes. But no, they have decided to try to be lifelong friends. And we're going to find that this backfires. Yes. Everyone sleeps in.

They wake up in the morning and everyone has like kind of had the like come to Jesus moment of like today is the day we're going to see One Direction. I want to have a fun time. I'm not going to create chaos. And I also cannot sing like Beyonce. Yes. Yeah. I hope they understand that. Okay.

Elizabeth is like, I'm going for a run. She comes back with iced coffee for everyone. That's very nice. Maybe that's her apology. Yes. Everyone is on their like best behavior all day. We've all been in that situation, you know, where you realize what you've done the night before and you kind of like your tail between your legs and you're like, I'm sorry. Yes. Here's a croissant. Alice like cooks them all ramen for lunch. Yeah.

How does she cook the ramen? With the hot water. Oh, yeah. I guess no fridge. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I guess she's a chef. She cooks the ramen in the hotel to save them some money. They spend all afternoon making posters to take to the show.

They're dumping like pounds of glitter onto globs of Elmer's glue, right? Like they're not getting their little deposit back for this big box hotel. No, Sarah spends a full three hours, like carefully drawing a picture of Zane's face onto her poster board and then filling all his hair in with glue and then like dumping glitter on top of it. So there is glitter. I would kill to love something that much right now. That's amazing. Yeah.

When the posters are done, they're like, okay, it's time to get dressed and put on our makeup. And they have obviously coordinated their outfits. Fantastic. What are we talking about? Colors, themes. Yes. We're talking black pants, shirt that you have made with the guy that you like's face on it, body glitter. Fantastic. Sounds great. Love it. I'm assuming like really nicely well done makeup. Yes. Like we're looking hot tonight.

Yes. Like you and I wish we could do makeup as good as these girls, right? Yeah. And yeah. And we wish that we had the same kind of t-shirts that they're wearing. Yes, I do. Elizabeth has forgotten her black pants. So she has to wear red pants, which is like a small thing, but did come to us in the email. So I feel like I must include it. Well, because it's like, did she forget or did she just want to stand out? She just wanted to be a little individual when they were all trying to be part of a group.

Exactly. Okay. Or maybe it was like an ode to her sister. You never know. Sounds like a little backstabby to me. It sure does. They go to this show. The show is at the city's football stadium. Have you ever been to a football stadium show? Yes. I saw Taylor Swift at MetLife and it was life affirming. Yes. Which tour did you see? I saw the 1989 tour. Of course. It was great. Great tour.

Yeah, I think I've seen a couple. Oh, I saw Beyonce at MetLife also. Have you? I saw Taylor's 1989 tour. I've seen Beyonce in tour in a big stadium. I've seen a couple more too because I used to write about music and so I would like get to go. And the only way I can like think to explain this to people who haven't been is that it's like –

a church, which is like maybe my trauma, but it's like 50,000 people in one stadium who like all are devoted to this band and know every word to their songs. Totally. Kelsey, that is so like, tell me you're evangelical without telling me you're evangelical. It is. Like the first big concert I went to, I was like, oh, God's fake. Like,

This is the same feeling I get at church. Weird. Yeah. God is music, of course. Yeah. I totally agree with that. That's how I felt going to music festivals for the first time, too. Yeah. Where you're like, wow, everybody here is, like, so excited to see the same thing I'm excited to see. And it lasts for three days. Yes. And there's, like, no better way to get full body chills than when, like, a big artist stops singing and you can hear everyone in the stadium, like, singing.

Oh my gosh. Yelling. I know. It's so special. Oh my God. Yeah. It's so nice. Yeah.

This also means that it's, like, kind of a nightmare logistically to get there. I was just going to say, oh, poor Sarah. Because you know that there's always, like, so much drama with the parking and, like, getting there. And, like, if you have to tailgate. Oh, my gosh. So much stuff. So Sarah Virgo has done a lot of research. And what she has learned is that they're going to take an Uber, like, pretty close to the stadium and walk a little bit. And then they're going to take public transit home. Because, like, everyone has said that that's the easiest way.

Yeah, I mean, you and I probably both know that that's true. After you leave one of these things, it's best just to follow the crowd and get on the train. Follow everyone else. Be just one of many ants. Yeah, you're just a little fish in a big sea. Yes, exactly.

So they like, you know, they're there. They have their posters. Everyone is like so excited. They go into the pit. They're like near the front of the pit, which means that they're like standing on the football field. Right. Which is like so exciting. So exciting. And they're surrounded by people who are like also in the pit, which means that they like logged on with their heavy credit cards and like were able to get the tickets. And like everyone is like having the same enthusiasm and just like euphoria. Yes. Alice and Sarah are like stunned.

They're like, this is the best moment of our lives. Nothing better has ever happened to us. And Violet is like, oh, have you guys never had pit tickets before? My jaw just dropped open. That's so mean. Why are these girls so mean? It's so mean. So now Sarah is mad. Like, Alice is done being mad and Sarah is mad. Sarah is texting Alice like, I hate her. She's making me crazy.

Is this the kind of pit where, like, there are seats? Like, or can they just kind of mill around and stuff? There are seats, yes. It's like the one, like, the folding chair seats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they can't just kind of, like, lose them in the crowd by accident and, like, we'll find each other later. Okay. So they're seated. Yeah. Yes. That's tough. That's tough. That's tough.

Alice is like, focus. We are at this show. It is the best night of our lives. We're having fun. She's like, what we're going to do is we're going to get you a little space from these other two girls and we're going to go to the merch stands and get whatever you want. Right. Good call. Good call. Violet's like, where are you guys going? Oh, no, Violet. Oh, we're going to the merch lines. Like we want to get this T-shirt or whatever. And Violet's like, oh, my God, the lines are so long. Like both shows I've been at, they've always been so long.

And Sarah is like, okay, guess what? I don't care. They sell out of things. So I'm going now to get the thing that I want. Yeah. Like, okay. You just want to flex that you've been to the show twice before. Like we get it. Violet is like, Violet's like, oh, they don't sell a lot of things online. Yeah.

Oh, so Violet's trying to do the thing that's like, you can buy this online. Don't wait. Don't wait. But as we know, that's not always true. And then you don't get the thing you want. Oh, God. She's going to ruin it for them. And Sarah's like, one, they do sell a lot of things online. Two, they have like special shit that you can only get at the show. Yeah, that's the point. That's the point. They're like, whatever. We're going to get our merch. So they like stand in line. Yeah.

Sarah will not stop talking about how much she hates Violet. They like get their merch. Oh, good. Okay. I was worried. So they got their merch. Okay, good. Yes. They get their merch and like the merch for a little bit just like calms Sarah down, right? Well, that high of like getting the thing that you were in line for and now it's yours and you can wear it. You can own it. There's nothing like it. Yes.

So they have their shirts. They go back to their seats. They get there. And Elizabeth is like throwing a fit because apparently her sister called and she couldn't get service. So she stood on her chair to take the call. And when she got down, she broke her nail and it hurts. And she's like, I need a medic. I don't even know what to say. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Sarah, you may remember, is in med school. So she's like, let me see your nail. And she's like, you're fine.

Wait, this like, oh my God, that's so that's so wild. These freaking girls. Okay. Elizabeth is like, no, I am not fine. So Violet takes Elizabeth to the show EMT and the two of them miss like half of five seconds of summer, the opening band, so that Elizabeth can get a bandaid for her nail.

Okay. But at least that gives our girls, Alice and Sarah, some extra space where they can rock out to 5SOS, which are low-key really good, and just kind of have a good time on their own for a little bit. Yes. They're like, this gave them the breathing room they needed. Yeah.

Because now they're, like, into it, right? They're like, we're committed. We don't care about these girls. When they come back and Elizabeth is like, please, can we take pictures with my sister's doll? They're like, yes. Like, we are so happy. We'll do whatever. We don't care. I kind of feel like Elizabeth should stop subjecting them to taking photos and just do it with Violet, her actual friend. Like, I don't know why her sister would care about these two randos. That's a great point. The lights start to dim. Everyone in the stadium screams. Ah!

Everyone is like ready. The guys are coming out. At this moment, Violet sees the shirt that Sarah has gotten. And she's like, where did you get that one? Like, I haven't seen that one online. And she's like trying to have a conversation with Sarah about this shirt. Not the time. It's 1D time. What are you doing? Sarah and Alice are like, can you be quiet for one second? Some of us have never seen this show before. Yeah.

Good for them. But then, for, like, the first song, Sarah is just, like, whispering in Alice's ear about how much she hates Violet. Okay. Oh, my gosh. What do you think that Alice should do here? Honestly, get new friends. I mean, I think...

I think that, oh, it's tough because I've been in that situation too where like you just can't let it go and you're like, this is bothering me so much. But they've been waiting for this forever, for like eight or nine months. I really just want them to let go. You know what? I hope that they're sitting in an arrangement where like Alice is next to...

instead of Sarah. And if they're not, they should switch around. So great mind reading. They were not. So Alice is like, switch seats with me. I will sit next to them. Good. I need you to focus because like they're right here, right? Like we are 10 yards away from these guys that we are obsessed with.

They're like rocking out, right? Like Alice and Sarah are having the best time. Oh, good. While like Elizabeth is trying to like take a photo so that like her picture sister and like Harry Styles are both in focus. She's like spending the whole concert doing that. Right. And the laminate isn't working and it's also 2013. So the cameras aren't that good. It's just kind of like far away and grainy and she's gonna like slap a filter on it anyway. And it's gonna be like, you know, lark or whatever and like not really work. Exactly.

Yeah, exactly. Posted to her 2013 Instagram. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yes.

Alice and Sarah, they don't know anything about this because they're like, this is the best night of our life. They're like crying. Finally, finally. Tears streaming down their face. They're like, I hope the boys see us, right? Like we're having so much fun. This is the day that I like meet Harry Styles and we get married. Yeah, okay. When the confetti, like, you know, the confetti falls at the end. When the confetti falls at the end, Violet takes a picture of Alice and Sarah dancing that they like still have framed on their walls.

Right? Like, years later. Okay, well, at least Violet was good for something, you know? Everyone is so happy. How are you feeling? We're almost at the end. I'm feeling happy that Sarah was able to let it go and have this, like, special photo that she and Alice, like, treasure forever, which makes me think they're still friends, which I also love because a longstanding friendship is one of the best things in life. Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm feeling okay, but...

you know go on all right the problem with having pit tickets as you may know is that it takes forever to get out of the stadium so they're having to like wait to get into the lower bowl wait to get into the concourse right while they're doing this violet is just getting more and more jealous of elizabeth's shirt oh my god does she steal it i really hope she doesn't steal it no she's just like what's our plan for getting home and sarah's like oh we're gonna take public transit

And Violet's like, okay, do we have time for me to try and get one of these shirts on the way out? She should have gone earlier. Sarah's like, sure. Like, I don't want to fight. I'm having a great time. Whatever. Go get your shirt.

Except that, of course, Sarah was right. And the lines are extremely long and they wait forever. And in the end, the shirt is sold out. Oh, yeah. Been there. Been there. It's a real tough one and you really feel sad. But what are you going to do? You know, you got to move on. And then they get to the train and the trains have stopped running because they took so long standing in line at the merch stand.

oh no then they have to wait in that little ride share corral for like an hour and pay 70 dollars for the uber back to the hotel that's dark that's really dark and it's probably also like 1 or 2 a.m at this point too yes alice and sarah are furious they're like these girls are so annoying elizabeth and violet are like

No, no, no. Like we're having a really good time. It's fine. Alice is like, it's not fine. I don't have the money to pay for a $70 Uber. And like, we're here for no reason. And Violet is like, okay, I'll pay for the Uber. Like, this is my fault. I'm happy to pay for the Uber. Like, please just sing these songs and let's continue our good. Okay. That's that. You know what? That's correct. That's like, that's the right thing to do. That's the right thing to do. Yes. So Alice feels better. They all go to sleep dreaming of the concert. They're exhausted. Yeah.

We are very close to the end. Who do you think the villain of this story is? I'm going to say Violet because I'm worried that she's going to steal the t-shirt. And that would be so mean. It would be so mean. Okay, the end of this story is that Violet left first the next morning. She didn't steal the t-shirt.

Okay, okay, good. This sucks for everyone because remember there's glitter everywhere. So they're all doing that thing where you like try to scrape it with your hand. Oh my God. Into like a pile. That's so gross.

his glitter. Yeah. So Violet is gone. She like can't help because she her flight out was early. It's obviously futile to try and get all this glitter off the floor. Of course. Wait also and were they all supposed to like take Ubers to the airport together via Sarah's logistics and Violet just booked a different flight that she told them. Okay. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yes.

Finally, the remaining three give up and they're like, you know what? The hotel is on Violet's card. Like... Suck it, Violet. Suck it. Exactly. Even Elizabeth, who's like her lifelong friend. Okay, yeah. They finish packing and they do like a final sweep of the room. You know, when you're like, dummy check, did anyone leave their phone? Yeah. Yeah.

And they found in the closet that Violet had put her clothes in a mini fridge. What? That was working just fine. What? Was it sabotage or was she just stupid? She didn't want to cook the meals. She wanted to eat out.

So she sabotaged. Was the mini fridge supposed to be in there or did she put it in there? That I don't know, but my guess is that she put it in there. Oh my God. That is some cuckoo banana shit. Oh my God, that's crazy. That is ludicrous. It's also not all. Wait, well, I wonder what Elizabeth's reaction was. Was she like, classic Violet? A couple weeks later...

Sarah calls Alice again during her shift, right? Like Alice gets to her break because she has three calls from Sarah. Alice calls her back and Sarah is like, have you seen what Elizabeth just posted on Instagram? Alice opens her phone and she clicks on the like photo. There is a post of Elizabeth and her sister. It was not a car crash related surgery that she was having that caused her to miss the One Direction show. It was an elective cosmetic surgery. Like she was just getting a nose job.

What? Yes. Why? What? Why did she make up this elaborate backstory? I don't know. Also, like, her sister Margaret, like, probably didn't like One Direction enough if she was going to schedule her nose job for the same week. I have so many questions. That is so crazy.

It's bonkers. What? And she knew that these girls would see. Yes. And I'm going to assume that she told the lie to a couple other people, too. Because you don't just make up an elaborate story and tell it to two people. Yes. Okay. So she posted, like, you know, look at Margaret's new nose, basically. Exactly. And Sarah and Elizabeth are, like, racking their minds. And they're like, you know, now that we think about it, she never said, like, what kind of surgery she was having or, like, what she was doing.

She did not explicitly say that like the car crash and the surgery were related. Right. Right. Then why did she have this cut out? Like why bring your sister? Like was her sister actually a 1D stan or was it all a ruse? And if so, why? I don't know. Does this make you want to change who you think the villain is?

No, I still think the villain is Violet, but I'm confused and concerned for Elizabeth. Okay. And I think that I really hope that these girls, like, didn't keep in touch. I'm so sorry, but there's one more thing. Okay. At the end of the call, Sarah, like, sighs, and she's like, you know, I wasn't going to tell you this, but now it seems fine. Look what I took. Okay.

Not only... Oh, great. What did she take? She sends through a photo to Alice's phone. She's holding her grin. She stole this picture. Oh, my God. That's incredible. And clearly, Elizabeth, like, didn't really care that much about flat Margaret if she didn't realize she was missing. Honestly...

Wow. Sarah's a chaotic little queen, too. That's so great. I love that. I was not expecting it. Really, really a wonderful surprise. And just a silly harmless prank. So silly. Nothing like hiding a mini fridge or lying about your sister's surgery. Truly. Do you have any final thoughts?

Oh, man. You know what? I think a love of pop culture and a love of a specific group, actor, band, whatever, will make you do really nutty things. And I'm just really glad that, like,

Sarah and Alice got to see One Direction, that they were with each other. And you know what? If they had to go through the trauma of hanging out with these two really wild girls for two days, at least they got a great story and were able to see one day at the same time. And I'm curious how they feel about One Direction now and all of the...

you know solo the solo stuff the people who sent us this story told us that alice and sarah and violet are all still like big 1d fans but elizabeth has left the fandom okay i wonder i wonder what happened um but so are as a violet does violet still keep in touch with these with sarah and alice no okay that's right that's for the best that's good and i'm hoping that like

Sarah and Alice are maybe in better places now financially, emotionally, and they can afford to go see Harry Styles together in the pit as was their destiny. And I hope it's a more fun experience and it's just the two of them and they can cook all the meals they want. One of the beautiful things about aging from 23 is that things get better. Most of them, yeah. Yeah.

Thank you so much for coming on the pod. It was a delight to have you. Thank you for having me. This was a real roller coaster. Just a treat upon treat. I think I'm going to go listen to some 1D. 1D.

Thank you for listening to Normal Gossip. If you have a gossip story to share with us, email us at normalgossip at defector.com or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679-GOSSIP. If you love this podcast and want us to keep making it, become a friend or a friend of a friend at supportnormalgossip.com.

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