Pretty Little Episode #7
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$574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state. Based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary. Pretty Little Episode.

Hi, welcome to the Handsome Pods preload episode. I'm Fortune. Yes, and I'm Tig. I'm sorry I cut you off. No, it's all right. People technically probably know who I am if they're listening to this. I don't know. This might be their first time, and this is a weird way to get to know the show. Yeah.

But if this is your first time, we do have full length episodes with all three hosts. But these pretty little episodes, sometimes are two of us. Maybe it's three of us. It's never just one or zero of us. Would you agree? Zero would be hard. It'd be very hard. But yeah, I haven't done one of these in a while. So I'm a little off my game. And that's why I came in and interrupted you.

Well, you look amazing. You look like a pretty little lady. Do I? Yeah. Do I? Well, this...

Pretty little lady got up at four this morning. I'm still trying to regulate my sleep out here and it's not going well, fortune. So you woke up involuntarily at four? Yes. Wide awake and just couldn't go back to sleep. No, I did my deep breathing exercises. That didn't help. And then I finally just got up and I was like, okay, let's get the day started. And so...

Here we go. Do you have trouble sleeping at all? I only have trouble sleeping if I have like a really early flight, like when I'm on tour and I know I have to get up in a couple hours. My body has a hard time just shutting down. Yeah. But on the reg, I would say I'm pretty good sleeper. I used to be. I used to be. I give anything. Anyway. And then it just shifted one day? Yeah.

Yeah, I think it's menopause stuff. Yeah. So people always get surprised, you know, when you look the way I do that, you know, yeah, I still go through menopause. Sorry. Because you got rid of those dumpster tits. Yeah, I got dumpster tits.

If you heard our last live stream, you know what we're talking about. That was so fun, that live stream. Would you agree? Oh, so fun. Yeah. Yeah. That audience was off the...

Yeah, we came out on stage and it was like, holy cow. It was such a cool vibe in there. Yeah, for sure. And then, Fortune, you're wrapping up your Toronto days soon, huh? Yeah, I'm pretty much done here shortly. I was thinking that we were all going to be on the same schedule forever.

It was looking like that. Star Trek got pushed so far. Yeah. I'm going to be the straggler leaving last. We'll miss you. Maybe you'll be home at the holidays. Maybe. Maybe. So we can come kiss you. Under the mistletoe? Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Well, we got some questions from our pre-law listeners. And let's get to it. I can't wait. Okay, this question is from Baz. Baz. Hello. I am submitting this question again because I sent it before answering it for myself. My question is,

What would you rather? If you had the choice between being 10% hotter, like physically attractive in whatever way that looks to you, or being 10% smarter? Mmm, Baz.

I like that Baz started his question with a, ugh. Yeah, sorry to put you out, Baz. I think it's because he had to redo his question, but still, it was funny just to start it with, ugh, here's my question.

I'm very curious what you have to say about this fortune. Do you have your answer? This is hard because God, well, I mean, I would feel, I feel bad for the world if I was 10% hotter, cause it's already pretty up there. So steaming hot, this is, this would just kind of blow people's minds. Like I didn't think this was possible. And I'm like, yeah, enjoy it. Um,

I don't know. I don't think that I don't want to. I'm always kind of going to be a goofy person. My personality was. So if I was hotter, I don't think the two would fit. You know, I'm able to do it. This is true. I would have to learn. Teach me your ways. You know, like when you see a hot girl that's like quirky, it's like you're like, oh, she's

Good for her. Wait, are you saying you're not really into it? You don't like a hot, quirky girl? Everyone loves a hot, quirky girl, but I think it would shift my comedy too much. People would be too distracted by my beauty.

Wait, I want to revisit the hot quirky girl because I've known quite a few hot quirky girls on this planet. And what do you think? I love that combination. Yeah. I love it as a person in everyday life. Like who doesn't like a hot girl with personality? Like that's...

It was starting to sound like you didn't. No, I meant in terms of... I've set it up wrong. I meant in terms of my profession, comedy. Okay. I think it would affect my comedy too much, and I don't want that. 10%.

I'm already so high up there. We're talking 10%. I have to go 10% smarter, even though that too is pretty high up there. Just kidding. I would want to be 10% smarter because I think...

Again, it all goes back to my career. I feel like I'm already married. Jax likes me as I am, which lucky me. So she'd probably prefer me to be 10% smarter than 10% hotter, I think. What would you want from her? 10% smarter or 10% hotter? I think she's already hot, so I don't need her. But 10% hotter.

I mean, you're obviously already hot. I'm not good at math. I'm not good at math, so I don't know what we're working with here. Okay, then you need to be 10% hot or smarter. Exactly.

So yeah, 10% smarter. So I don't have to use my tip calculator. Things just are a little easier. Wait, you use a tip calculator? Yeah, I know. Do you tip 20% or do you tip more than that? I do 20% sometimes more. And that's when I need a tip calculator. Okay. I can do the 10% plus times two. Can you do the 20? 10%.

Times two. Oh, okay. I think it would just help. It would help with writing and it would help with like remembering things. I want to be 10% smarter. I'm hot enough. Yeah. What about you, Tickle Bitties? Garbage tits. I don't know.

I for sure would go with 10% smarter because same, I'm married. In fact, right before we got on the Zoom call,

When I was talking to Stephanie, she truly said she feels 1 million percent confident in her feelings for me, which was nice. Of course, I assume she did. Yeah. But like, it's always nice to hear that. But what made her say that? Did something happen? No, no. We were just talking about, you know, different people and relationships and life. And she was just like, I...

I'm so happy that I found you and that you are. Yeah, it was that kind of conversation. Yeah. I think also being somebody that failed three grades and dropped out and walking around with a seventh grade education. I know I'm smart, but I think what I would love to have is

is more knowledge that people have from school, you know, because there's stuff where I just have to go either completely silent or I'm just like, what's that? When did that happen? Who is that person? Oh, I didn't know that. And you know what I mean? Like I just, I really, there is so much stuff. I just do not know. Yeah.

But I feel like I'm very street smart. I've had a lot of experiences in life. But I would love to have more knowledge. And I guess I could just read books. Who wants to do that? Well, I don't know that I want to lie around in bed at night reading history books. Right. You know, geometry books. But yeah, yeah.

I don't know if that's smarter, but I have more knowledge. Yeah. I think people kind of assume I'm a little bit of a dum-dum sometimes because my personality is very silly and I kind of play a little bit of the doo-doo-doo sometimes. A dum-dum? I did graduate summa cum laude from college. Wow.

And I don't even know what that is. I've heard of it. It's the highest one. In college? Yeah, 3.9 GPA or higher. Wow, look at you. So I'm not a dum-dum. I definitely am smart, but I am not great with math, as we've chatted about. So I'm definitely a dum-dum with math. But yeah, I think knowledge, you're never not done learning, right?

Of course. To be smarter, even 10% is a drop in the bucket, but I think that would be nice to have a little bit more. Yeah, I would just love to have the basics for when people are talking about stuff. And I don't have to be like, ooh, I don't know this. I'm going to listen up right here. I was a closet nerd. I was like...

very social and out and about and no one thought i like studied or cared and then i would go into my room at like midnight and study like for like four hours oh my gosh and uh and i remember when i graduated and they said summa cum laude my mom was sitting around people that went really really

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But wait, you... Oh, I see. Because I was the graduation speaker, so they had just seen me do this funny, silly speech. Yeah. And then I got that...

But I was a closet nerd. And homosexual. And homosexual. That I didn't know. Yeah. Let's hear Baz's answer. For me, I'd like to think I'd choose to be 10% smarter than

But I think I'm already in a decently smart enough person. I don't think I need to be any smarter to survive in this world. So I definitely choose to be 10%.

thank you love you guys send in a picture yeah well thank you baths for uh submitting a question let's hear what another pre-lil listener has to ask my name is meg winter and i am recently married

My wife is incredible, but my question is still, how do you keep that spark alive when you are married or in a relationship, um, over an extended period of time? That's a good question. We kind of dipped our toe into that. Yeah. I'm a little concerned that, um,

She's already asking how to keep the spark alive. She just got married. Yeah, you don't even start thinking about that until like six years in. Yeah. I have to say, when I went to Thomas' wedding, I think things like that really kind of kick you in gear. Yeah, I just feel like weddings just like really –

help you connect with those. Not that I'm not connected to it, but it really reinvigorates things where, where you, I don't, do you know what I'm saying? Like I know there's plenty of other things that you love Stephanie and that, that doesn't waver, but there are certain moments where love is the focus where you just appreciate your person even more. And you think, God, I'm so happy. Like you said, like Stephanie, I'm so happy.

saying like a life thing can happen and it makes you go, Oh, thank God I'm with my person. Yeah. I think it's also, I think it's good to, I know people talk about this, but I try to do this. Um, is to practice, uh, gratitude. Just Stephanie is a mother of,

That's so attractive. I mean, I know she makes always the best decisions and she's so responsible with our children. There's never like...

Like, why did you do that? Yeah, or like safety or inappropriateness or anything like that. It's like 100%. But I think practicing gratitude is really helpful in keeping things sparked. Yeah. Yeah. What about you? Yeah, I mean, Jackson and I have been together nine years. This is by a mile and many, many miles my longest relationship ever.

So I had to kind of learn a lot of this as I went. I didn't have like a longer relationship to like learn from as far as like how to, you know, keep the spark alive or any of that stuff. And I mean, there's no way to be in a relationship for many, many years and not have...

Sometimes where you guys are like frustrating each other a little bit more. Maybe you're not like going on dates as much. And the love doesn't waver, but you're just like busy and you're not like focusing as much as you can. But then you'll kind of, you know, then you'll get out of that space, hopefully. And I think if you just focus on each other a little bit more, I have to really be...

aware of like okay you've been working a ton you're like so focused on so many plates spinning in the air you can't neglect the most important part of your life like this has to be a priority and I do have to because I'm such a workhorse that I definitely have to like get out of my

way in that way so just sort of checking yourself if you are a fellow workhorse um to be like like let's have some date nights let's

Physical touch, let's cuddle. Because you do kind of take some of that stuff for granted when you love each other and you know you're with your person. You can kind of take that dating part of relationships for granted. Yeah, as far as dating, I think it's also really good to...

To surprise each other. And I'll do that for Stephanie. Like with a present or like an experience or both? Yeah. You know, flowers for no good reason or an experience. Like, oh, I made reservations here. Or, oh, I called your mother to see if she could watch this.

Max and Finn and we're going to go here for the weekend or anything like that. And of course it's not every week. Yeah, that's a good one for sure. And I would say like Jax really appreciates it because, you know, there's certain things she has to kind of nag me about, like, can you just do this? And I won't do it. Like, um, just sort of like stuff around the house, like cleaning wise. Yeah.

Are you not tidy? I'm tidy, but I'm not like her. She's like scrubbing stuff down. She's like, can you just...

Or I'll leave stuff in the sink. But I always put it away, but not in that moment. You know what I mean? Yeah. And when I do finally do what she's been asking, she appreciates it so much. So trying to hear your partner and adjust when you can. People want to feel like they're being heard in a relationship. But the beauty of what I like about being married is...

Even if we have like a little tiff or something, I'm never worried that like, that's it. You know, hands, I'm done with this. Right. I'm like, I'll talk to my wife in the, you know, like here in Toronto. We'll talk in the morning. It'll be fine. And I like that like piece of knowing like, that's my person. We love each other. And yeah, we're going to.

Work it out. Yeah. I don't know if I've mentioned this on this podcast or not, but one of my, my favorite things and one of Stephanie's favorite things that Esther Perel has said is, um, and again, maybe I've said this, but we're saying it again. Yeah. That with the issue of trust, it can be used as like a, almost a threat of like, I trusted you.

Right, right. Yeah. Whereas Esther Perel said it should be more like I trust or I know that you're going to hurt me. I know you're going to disappoint me, but I trust that we're going to get through that. That that's that's actually where the trust comes in.

that as humans, you're going to falter. You're going to make massive mistakes. You're going to fumble through so many things terribly, make bad decisions here and there. And the trust has to come in that, yes, you fumbled as a human. We fumbled as a couple. But I trust that we'll get through that.

I love it. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's hear Meg's answer. By just being really honest with each other and trying new things and

And recently we've started a new bedtime routine where we meditate for half an hour before we go to bed and talk about what those meditations might have brought up for us. Nice. That's great. Well, we wish you all the best and congrats on your marriage.

May it be long and prosperous. Yes, indeed. Oh, this was fun, Tig. Yes, it was. Don't forget to keep sending us your questions and check out the three of us next week. And tell your friends about Handsome. And until next time.

Keep it pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast!

Home insurance can feel really complicated. You want the best insurance at the best price available. That's simple. Allstate makes it easy to sign up for a new policy or switch from an existing one. If you're a homeowner, Allstate can help.

Check Allstate first and you can save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate. Not available in every state. Based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary.