Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Hi there, it is your very good friend Tig Notaro wanting to thank everybody who has watched my brand new stand-up comedy special called Hello Again on Amazon's Prime Video. If you have not checked it out, please do. Let me know what you think and rate it and share it with a friend. Now please enjoy this ridiculous episode of Handsome.
Cheers.
That was really good, Fortune. This is your friend Tig Notaro, and I'm sitting here with my very handsome co-hosts. Mae Martin. And Fortune Feimster. And it's the handsome pod. Oh, yeah, this is the handsome pod. Also, we can see Thomas, who I'm a little distracted because it looks like he just lifted up a giant glass of milk to drink from. Are you drinking milk, Thomas?
What is that? It's a protein shake, but it's mostly milk. I didn't have time to make the full shake, so it's kind of just milk and protein powder. Thomas drinking protein over there. Come on now. You working out? You getting your body building on? A little bit, yeah. There you go. Whoa.
Before the big wedding. Yeah, got to get in shape for that. Really cute if you were just drinking milk, though. Just a milky boy having a nice milky snack. Now I drink oat milk, but not just plain. I don't drink it plain, though. I'm about to gross you out. Okay, what do you do? I drink unsweetened soy milk. Ooh. I also have it in my little homemade lattes. Yeah. But yeah, completely unsweetened soy milk.
Soy milk. And you do that because it tastes good or it's good for you? Because it's good for me and then I developed a taste for it. It's that thing of once you remove something...
from your diet you get used to not having I wonder if it's like similar like if you removed watching any TV or movies from your life then which I have yeah right yeah then then you see something like a Tom and Jerry cartoon you're like this is incredible because you've removed exactly yeah I'm at the silent movie theater
My kids watch Tom and Jerry. I have not watched them in decades. You're not checking back in with what those guys are up to? No.
The only animated stuff I watch would be like animated movies. I can't connect with animated characters except when those little clips of this podcast when they were animated, you know, that we post on Instagram. Those I could really get. I would love a full. Yeah, I'm like, won't we like some more of those? Those are so good. Yeah. They're so good. This takes three months.
I'd watch an animated show where it was like under the ocean and we were characters and I was like little shrimp nose and then you were like
Wait, what? I don't know. That would be the character Mae is. Little shrimp nose. I cast myself as shrimp nose. Oh, I thought this was something you saw that somebody made. Oh, no. And I was like, send me shrimp nose. Just another thing I want to pitch to Netflix. Speaking of shrimp noses, how's your nose, Fortune? Oh, yeah. Oh.
My congestion? Yes. How are you feeling? How do I sound? Like you have a shrimp nose. I feel fine. I just, this is the lingering sound that's left. I may or may not have caught whatever Taylor Tomlinson had when we did. I think you for sure did.
Because you guys were making out? God, no. Just kidding. Not that Taylor's not a lovely person. Tig would know. How dare you? Right.
How dare you? Anytime there's any talk of flirtation or hooking up with someone else, you both are the sweetest. You're both like, I would never. You're both like, may I remind you I'm happily married. I mean, listen, Taylor's very attractive. I'm just, yes, a happily married woman. Well, I told Stephanie that I was accused of flirting with. Oh, yeah. What was the what did Stephanie say?
Were you in the doghouse? She gave me a side-eye glance of like, what are you talking about? I wasn't flirting. I was just telling you I was told that and I want to get ahead of this rumor and let you know.
Yeah, before it gets to you. I'm just imagining this one episode of After Midnight ruins our lives. My marriage falls apart. Mine falls apart. How'd you get sick? Standing next to Taylor. We're like, but it was a great episode. It was worth it.
Oh, my God. I'm feeling better. I'll just be glad to sound normal again. I'll be glad for you, too, as well. Well, we can't wait for you to say, I'm sick and tired of this. I'm sick and tired of this. Over here in shrimp nose over here. Oh, shit.
-Shrimp nose. -Shrimp nose. -What is shrimp nose? Does that mean a high-pitched tiny nose? -It means your voice is like this, right? -I'm a little shrimp nose. -Yes, I'm picturing that my nose actually is a shrimp, like a curly little-- -Oh, that's disgusting. -Oh, it's rancid. Yes. You just got to sleep, Fortuna. That's really the only thing. I didn't sleep last night. I did an improv show and then I went to Alanna Johnston's house, we all know and love.
who I do improv with, with Stephanie. And she's so fun. And I just sat. She's got this big dumb dog, like a big pit bull dog called Mia that just like wants to hug you. It's basically Alana in dog form. Yes. Does the dog do cartwheels around the house? Pretty much. Full of enthusiasm for life and just like. I just met Alana for the first time. I didn't know her. You guys both have blonde curly hair and you're both raised with sunshine. And had
how do we not know each other? I don't know, girl. She was a writer on my show Under a Rock with Tig Notaro. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, she was, yeah. So we ended up, I was with her husband and we were sitting doing something I haven't done in years which is just like YouTube karaoke, not singing, but like we each take turns showing funny YouTube videos which is such a weirdly antisocial thing but it was so fun and I discovered some new ones like
I don't know. If you have time, look up solid potato salad. And it's these three. I don't know if I'm going to have time. No, you're busy. You're right. You're right. If you can squeeze this into your schedule, look up solid potato salad.
It's just three women from like the 1950s or something and they're dancing girls and they're like, solid potato salad, like that. And then they start doing contortionism, like bending their whole bodies in half. I do love...
They seeing women from the fifties be silly. Yeah. But did they know they were being silly? What about women in the forties? Did you like, do you like when they're silly? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not as fun. When I was at the groundlings back in the day, we used to, you know, the groundlings is a, a sketch comedy school out here in LA. And Stephanie went there. That's where I met Stephanie. And, um, I was in the sketch that these girls wrote where we all played fifties housewives. Um,
and we all talked like we were from the 50s like what are you doing doris i'm just here borrowing some sugar oh what a grand day and like that so they're doing these talking to each other and they go um i just wanted to talk to you about my husband randall he's been giving it to me something awful what does that mean fortune you're about to hear
And she goes, I don't know what to do when taking it in the back door. She goes, oh, Doris, don't you know? Fortune! We all pop out. Fortune Marie. In our 50s gear and we go, back door, butthole. It's the same as a front hole, but it won't put a baby in your oven. Fortune Marie! Fortune Marie!
You sing this whole song about singing backdoor butthole in 50s.
Oh my God, it was so fun. There's a conception that I'm the filthy one on this podcast. I think we're learning it's fortune. It is definitely fortune. There is a side to you, fortune, and you get away with it because you're so innocent-seeming. Yeah, and just laughs. Don't you think that song's catchy? Front, back, door. Of course it is, but it is so in- Fortune Marie! It's the same as your front hole.
First of all, that's incorrect. It is not the same. Oh.
It is not at all this very different house. We should have filmed that for YouTube. It was too good. I would have been watching it last night and delighted. Why don't you recreate it? We might have to. I'll have to call them and say, let's get the gals back together in our 50s. I had one of those wigs that goes out and the glasses that, you know, I don't even know. It was so funny. In my teens, I would do a character called Joanne.
And her last name was No Mother, I think. And she had no mother. But anyway, I don't know. I was like 19 and she was called Joanne No Mother and she would wear, she wore a long pink gown and she always had new roommates. And now I think
I got to bring her back. I think I, when I got stressed about my gender, I, for a while I was like, I got to be handsome. And then now that I feel good about it. Play it all. Play with it all. Yeah. Now you're legitimately handsome. Thank you. On the handsome pod. I didn't, until we had this pod, none of us were legit handsome. Why does everyone read into my kindness? I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
I go pretty little lady with costumes. I think it's so funny to be like the most feminine version of myself. I go grandpa. Yeah, you go grandpa.
I would love to see Parvati in drag, like go full boy. Would you be attracted to that? Well, I would be attracted to the uninhibitedness that led to that. Like I'd be attracted to the, and who knows? Yeah, maybe I'd find him hot. I'd be just fine. She's so like effortlessly feminine just in the way she moves. Like it's not an affectation. She just,
Yeah. Like not feminine, like just, she's like a sort of Amazon woman to me. I finally started watching traders and she, um, has a, she wears headbands. Yes. Is that a normal, like a, is she a headband gal in everyday life or that was for the show? No, no. She, it was like, um, she wanted to be a kind of character on traders. And so she wore all these headbands and now everyone in her life is like, you should start a headband brand. She's like, I don't know. I,
I think I have a good question. Okay. May, you were a fan of Survivor. Yeah. Or still are. Famously. So you liked Parvati from a distance. And you're like, this is an awesome lady. She's smoking hot. Yeah. She has the sexiest voice in the world. Yeah. This is all stuff you said. This is not me being inappropriate. Yeah, I am not hitting on Parvati. Okay.
Now she is your girlfriend. Well, we're heavily involved. Yeah. Heavily involved. You live together. Yeah. Is she now just your girlfriend or do you roll over and go, oh my God, Parvati is in my bed? Good question. Thank you. I had a feeling it was a good one. That is a great question. I feel like the correct answer would be to be like, she's just my girlfriend. I completely see her as just a three-dimensional. Parvati is in your bed.
Parvati's in my bed and I'm still but you know what it's just it's like a place I can go in my head and tap into that is so fun for me to if I let remind myself that that's who I'm involved with I'm just heavily involved heavily involved I'm trying to think what celebrity I would oh Keri Russell that that's attractive I think Keri Russell's attractive yeah I was not expecting Keri Russell
let's see who do i think carrie russell i'm trying to think carrie russell carrie russell we gotta get that come off the tongue too fast me what was she in felicity yeah felicity had famously cut her hair off and ruined the show oh
Was that a big scandal? Yes. It was a huge faux pas. People lost their minds. I didn't watch the show, but in recent years, I was driving down the road and there was a picture of her on the side of a bus. And I was like, whoa, who is that?
And Stephanie was like, that's Keri Russell. And I was like, oh my God, she's attractive. She's number one just because of that bus. Yeah, I haven't seen her in anything. I saw her on the side of a bus. That's what your car did.
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So she had this long, beautiful locks in Felicity. She was like that girl next door kind of look. And then one day she just appeared with like a short, curly, kind of, not a bob, but like a kind of this. Kind of what I'm doing. She was like, give me the fortune. But like curlier. And people just are like, nope. Nope.
Oh my God. We are canceling your show. The show was canceled like six months later. Oh my God. Isn't that depressing? That is insanity. I don't know that it had anything to do with it, but everyone always put it together. It must have. Yeah. Because wasn't that a popular show? Yeah. People were like, absolutely not. How...
Like when you're like, I have this devoted fan base and they're like, we love you. And then like, what if we grew our hair super long, all three of us, and we started wearing dresses? Our fan base might be like, you know what, I'm out. Yeah, did they turn on us? Yeah. Yeah. I think mine might. I don't know. But people were, it was a cultural shift. Wow. Like,
Everyone came together not wanting this haircut on her. Well, and that's why I am a wonderful partner because I don't care about any of that. I can see her for who she is on the side of a bus. Until haircuts do us part. I remember when my dad shaved his beard, I cried. That's like a common thing with kids, right? Okay, well, when you said when my dad shaved his beard,
I wasn't sure what you were going to say. You thought I was going to say butthole? Butthole? His shaved his butt? No. Balls? Yeah. Dang. Me. Poor Jen. Well, it's like then as a small child, you cried. I love Jax's long hair. She's like, what if I cut it? I go...
I would love you for sure. Probably don't cut it. Probably don't. Of course I would love her no matter what, but also like, don't cut it. I did have, and I'm sure she won't mind me saying this. My, my ex, um,
one time showed up to surprise me and had dyed her beautiful long blonde hair bright red. And I was 21. I was not a child. And I burst into tears. You burst into tears? I couldn't hide it. I went, oh my God, I love it. And then I start my...
No, I went to the bathroom. I was like, I just got to go pee. And I went to the bathroom. Oh, I got to pee really quick. Out of my eyeballs. You just started crying. She was like, are you fucking kidding? Are you crying? I don't even know who you are anymore. How do you even talk and hang out in that moment when your girlfriend is...
red-headed and you're and you're crying about it like a baby i hope she broke up with you right away i she was pretty pissed yeah we had a pretty awkward night and then i hope you got dubs and then i got on board with it and then after a month or so she she did die back
Years ago, I was with somebody. I used to have, you know, my long Dave Grohl hairdo. Yeah. And this girl I dated, she was like, don't ever cut your hair. I will not be into it if you have short hair.
And I was so itching to cut my hair short. Because she said that or already? No, I was just, I think I was already kind of mentioning like, I think I'm going to get my hair cut short. And she was like, don't. And then our relationship was really starting to...
down the turlet. Yeah. And so I was like, I'm going to get my hair. Yeah. This is how we dip this in the bud. Yeah. It sends a clear message. It's a good, uh, yeah. It's wild. The power a haircut has. Mm.
And this is still like after I cut my hair, I've still just had short hair since that relationship. Yeah, I've looked like this since I was 18. So people kind of know what they're getting. If not birth, right? I mean, my face has been very similar forever. But in high school, I had a triangle haircut. What is a triangle haircut? You didn't ever have a triangle haircut? I don't think so. Sorry.
So it was before I knew what layering was. Oh, I went to my grandma's beauty parlor for a long time. And those ladies, those ladies did not layer. Okay. So you just let your hair fall as it falls.
and you just kind of, they would trim it. They didn't layer it to make it curve in. Yeah. You know what I mean? So we got a layer going on here that's curving in. So when you don't do that, it's just a triangle. Mm-hmm.
Should we get into our question? Sure. Yes, because it's a big deal. This is a very big deal. It's huge. I don't think any other podcast has done what we are about to unveil. Not one. Not a single one. We are completing a trifecta of greatness. Not that these people are like Pokemon cards that you collect, but this is huge to have all three and...
My good friend and the uber talented Lisa Kudrow asking a question on the pod. Can you believe? Cannot believe. The trifecta of the most handsomest ladies ever known in a sitcom massively popular called Friends. Yeah. And it was like, oh, here, I'll get Jen Aniston to get a question. And then it was like, oh, okay.
Should we also get Courtney Cox? And then May's like, oh, I could get Lisa. And I just was like, cool. I've got Alf on speed dial. I will say like all three of...
These women, like when I was maybe 12 or 13 and watching Friends, they were so inspiring. They were so, I mean, we were talking about like beautiful women who were also very silly and not afraid to be completely ridiculous. It was such good role models. All three of them, such amazing performances. That was like the best, just seeing these cool women
be so fun and silly and do ridiculous things. Yeah. Yeah. What's better than ridiculousness? She played my mom on Feel Good and I'm a huge fan of the comeback with the HBO show which was so ahead of its time. So funny. There's no delivery like Lisa Kudrow. Oh my God. There is no delivery like hers. Smelly cats. Smelly cats. Okay. Well, first of all, that's
I remember one of my favorite singers is Chrissy Hynde from The Pretenders. And I remember a friend of mine brought me a VHS. They had recorded the end of Friends where Lisa and Chrissy Hynde are singing Smelly Cat. And I was like, oh, my Lord. Oh, my Lord.
Very exciting day for me. Big Chrissy Nine-Faith day. A couple of years ago, I think she went on stage with Taylor Swift and sung it. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Do you remember that? Lisa did? Yeah. Yeah. What I love about her is she's so highly intelligent. We'll get to the question in a sec. We're just singing her praises right now.
So she plays these wild characters, but she approaches them with like such intelligence. We kind of wrote the part of my mom and feel good with like with her in mind, but we never thought she'd even read the scripts. And then we said that if she said yes, we were going to... This is a callback to Shrimp Nose in a way.
We said if she said yes, we would celebrate. This is me and my writing partner by going to this restaurant, Prawn on the Lawn, which was like a shrimp restaurant in England. And so when I got the call, I got to call up my writing partner and I went,
See you at Prawn on the Lawn tonight. Wow. What a celebration. Well, she's an icon and she's here on the handsome pod. Yeah, you know her from Friends, of course. She also created, produced, wrote, and starred in the critically acclaimed HBO show, The Comeback.
You know her from Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. So many other amazing things. Feel Good. She played my mom. It's Lisa Kudrow asking today's question. Hi, Handsome Podcast. It's Lisa Kudrow here. So I had a question that is when you're performing or doing a show, you know, in front of people or even this podcast, for example, and you are just not in the mood for it that day, night,
How do you get through it? How do you make it work? I love that question. It's a good question. Because that happens probably a lot. Really? All the time. I would imagine just you get burnt out at some point, right? Well, and also life is going on. So you get bad news. You're going through a breakup. You're not feeling well. Maybe you have shrimp nose or something, you know. And it's... I remember...
Years ago, when I was first starting out, I was opening at comedy clubs and I was managed by somebody that worked at the Funny Bone Comedy Club, you know, and he he managed me and a couple other people. And
And so I would tour with his other clients and one of those clients died. And I was told that right before I went on stage, you know, and I remember being like,
Here I had toured with this guy. He was so young, so funny. Brett Clausen was his name. And yeah, and then I just was introduced on stage and had to compartmentalize. Yeah, I know. Because I feel like now that you guys have these huge profiles and your audience is there to see you like if you get
bad news you could even talk about it on stage and people have patience for that and they're interested but when you're starting out you can't go on and be like well I'm depressed you know what I mean there isn't that same like and you don't have control of the craft so you don't know you could bring them out of it I mean I guess I also had a more famous experience when I had cancer and my mother died
That, yeah, I was, I, but I was kind of in the mood to perform because. Just get out of your head, like. Yeah. And wait, Fortune, did we talk about this? Weren't we at a dinner right before I did that show? At Carrie Dornetto's house.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and Jamie Babbitt when they were together. Yeah, the four of us had dinner together because they were like, we want you to meet our funny friend,
Tig, I'm like, I know Tig, so funny. That was the same day as that set at Largo? It wasn't the same day. It was, I think it was right before. No, no, that stuff I think had happened. Or no, it had just happened maybe? It had happened and I think I was about to do my show in like a few days. Oh, the Largo show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotcha, gotcha, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I was excited to perform there.
because I didn't know if I was gonna be alive, you know? And so I really wanted to do stand up and have that experience again because I loved it so much. - Yeah, I feel like I also, I always know that once I'm doing it, I'm gonna have fun, but it's that getting to the, like when you guys are doing big tours and night after night, like fortune do you ever get really? Just like, how do you snap out of it?
I mean, life happens is the thing, you know, when you're touring constantly, there's going to be things that happen during that. Like my dad came very close to dying recently. Yeah. And I had shows like during all of this and.
So people kind of knew this was going on. And then I'm like, hey, you know. Yeah. Yeah. You know, so you just had to kind of acknowledge the elephant in the room of like, you guys know that this is going on. Yeah. Everybody, I appreciate, you know, everybody being so lovely. We're hoping for the best. And you just kind of have to push through, you know. Because your audiences love you so much. It's kind of, you're like, if you're down, it's like, okay, I could go get this huge love injection. But yeah.
Yeah, if you're just going to some club doing an opening spot and no one knows you and you're like, oh, I could also bomb today on top of everything, that sucks. I had a thing happen early on in my career. I was doing this tiny club and I was dating someone. It wasn't serious or anything, but I was into her and everything was like,
good but she kind of was like shifting and i could tell that like maybe she was kind of one foot in one foot out but um she was waiting waiting to you know so i was kind of waiting for that other shoe to drop but i didn't know when or if we could salvage this or whatnot and she was gonna get um like a she possibly was gonna get a job somewhere else and
I was on stage and I had a bit at the time where I had to get out my phone and read a message saved in my photos online.
Yeah. A screenshot. And I got up my phone mid, mid show. And now the text from her popped up. Like she got that job and like didn't want to see me anymore. Like basically broke up with me. Even though we weren't in a relationship, we were dating. She just was ending things. Did you tell the audience? I don't remember if I, I really, I think I just went to another place.
you know? Yeah. Yeah. And so was it Uranus? Yes. Just eat my ass. Just eat my ass. Call back. Call back. Call back. Next time you're shopping for snacks and you're craving something crunchy and satisfying, ditch the bag of chips and grab wonderful pistachios. No shells. Your body and your taste buds will thank us. I love pistachios, my friends. Yes.
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So I had to like let my brain kind of go into autopilot where like my emotions were like hovering above me, but my brain was like doing the words. Yeah. I don't know. It was like a out of body experience. I cancel a lot, which is bad. Like I often give into the feeling and when I, when I should probably push through it. Cause if I go to the show or, or do the thing, I'll, I'll, I'll enjoy it. But, um,
My story like that is I was dating a comedian who was a very bad... It was in England. We lived together. It had been hell. She was very closeted and no one knew and
And then on the day, so she breaks up with me in the morning and I was pretty sure she there, she'd maybe cheated on me with this guy, but I didn't, I wasn't a hundred percent. And so she breaks up with me. So I packed my little suitcase and I'm like hysterical, like really crying, crying.
crazy amounts so I go to my friend's house and that night I had to host a fundraiser for her because she if she'd organized it and she was like can you still host the fundraiser and I was like I guess and she was gonna be there she couldn't just hold off one day after the fundraiser I know yeah I mean it's that pressing like oh my god I gotta get May out of my life immediately like the chaos right
Probably. It was extra cruel. And a lot of our friends still didn't know we were together, even though we'd been living together for like three years. They knew, but they were like in their travel companions. So I show up to the show and I'm just like a shell person.
And she shows up with the guy. Oh, that's cruel. I know. And she sits and I go up to her. I go, are you you just arrived with him? She goes, oh, come on. I'm not. We're not together like I'm not. And then she sits with him and puts her head on his lap, like lies down. And I'm on stage being like, well, I'm just a weird gay Martin. Yeah.
She was definitely effing with you. I think so. Fortune, please. Please. And I purposely tried to keep it clean. Fortune Marie. But yeah, but you just do get through it. Like adrenaline kicks in and you're like, I guess you go on autopilot a bit. But it must have been, I imagine for Lisa, like the schedule of filming Friends, like when they're doing 20 episodes a season or something or whatever it was. Yeah.
That is a punishment. But didn't they only film one day a week? Not to take anything away from all the hard work you did, Lisa, but wasn't it once a week? I think those schedules were like, you have a table read one day, then another day's blocking, then another day's rehearsal. It's kind of like a theater thing every week. But they were dealing with a lot of chaos a lot because all their lives changed overnight. Yeah.
Yeah. They became like the most famous people on the planet. That's like us with handsome. That's like us, guys. We're the LGBTQ version of friends. A hundred percent. We should have called our podcast friends. Chatting with friends on the handsome pod. Hear it? Chatting with friends. We are literally chatting with friends. Yeah. Three weeks. I know. But it seemed like from their interviews, they all...
started to rely on each other a lot. Like they were, they knew what each other was going through more than anybody. So they would just like really lean heavily to get probably to, they probably got each other through some of those performances. It is nice with, with standup when you know, there's a couple of pals on the bill. And even if you're down, you're like, I just sit and vent in the, in the greener. But with acting, that's,
that's tough. Even, I mean, I haven't acted that much, but with feel good, like I'm not a good enough. I've acted a lot. If you have any questions. Yeah. Tell me if you're like, if you're filming a big breakup scene, like I had to film this big tearful breakup scene and my co-star is a professional. So she's, we're, we're hanging out. She's laughing. She's singing, but I'm like, okay,
okay, we're filming this scene in the afternoon. Like around lunch, I had to start distancing myself and just like getting in my head. And she's like, are you mad at me? And I'm like, no, I'm like trying to think how I'm going to act at all mad at you. Cause I'm, I love you. And then like, we're such good friends. And then I don't know. It's tough. Yeah. But I guess it's just your job, right? It is. It's, it's your job. And, um,
I couldn't have said it any better. I mean, Tig really hit the nail on the head. Well, somebody said recently, which I really loved, that's what the money's for. Like when you have any complaint about work, that's what the money's for.
Oh, I know who said it. Rory Albanese. Do you know him? I love Rory Albanese. Yeah, Rory. Oh, my God. Oh, it's from Mad Men. Oh, okay. Oh, he was going Mad Men. Okay, well, Rory. Rory. Yeah.
That's what the money's for, so shut up. That does sound like Mad Men. It's such a good thing to remember when you're complaining or frustrated about work. It's like, right, well, I get money for this. Yeah, gratitude is key. I had been taught in an acting class early on that when you're having to do a sad scene,
scene or something i used to think like oh let me just channel something sad i'm gonna think about something in my life that's sad and they're like don't do that because then it cheapens that real thing oh that real life experience uh-huh if i was always thinking about like my grandmother or something when i needed to be sad for acting then i'm cheapening
That grief, that feeling, you know? I know good actors are just like, well, I'm in the character thinking about their experiences and what's happening in the scene. But I'm like, no, I got it. I'm going to breakups in my head. I'm listening to sad music. I'm not good enough to... Do you guys have a... Yeah, do you have a sad song that would put you in the... I'll say mine, but it'll cheapen it for me. But I want everyone to feel how sad they can get. Okay, it's called Downtown, but not...
downtown this is the saddest song oh my gosh don't get me crying again downtown when you're alone and life is making you no it's uh that would be amazing downtown i get the director to blast it um no it's uh
It's called Downtown by Magical Clouds. And I think magical is spelt like M-A-J- Is this a Canadian song? Yep. M-A-J-I-C-A-L. And then clouds with a Z, of course. But man, it gets me. And I can't listen to it because I don't want it to lose its power because it's really useful. Oh.
- Yeah, well if it, listen, it's okay to cheapen a song. You know what I mean? That's okay. - Yeah, when I was about to film, I said to my mom, well, you know, I'll use one of those tear sticks sometimes. - Tear sticks do help. I'm not opposed to tear sticks. - They help. And my mom goes, "Do you think Tom Cruise uses a tear stick?" And I was like, "I don't know, maybe, probably." And she was like, "He doesn't." - By Tom Cruise, do you mean Tig? - Tig Notaro?
I am not above a tear stick. It's like putting vapor rub on your eyes. It just gets you going and then you have to still do the rest of the work. Downtown. Downtown. When you're alone. Oh, man. Sad song. Bonnie Raitt.
Because you can't make me love me if you don't. Okay, wait, fortune, was that your go-to if things weren't working out with a lady? Yeah. Would you crank that up? Go into the shower and cry and say, Turn down the bed. Wait, turn down the lights.
Turn down the bed. Turn down these voices. Oh, man, the Bonnie part. Lay down with me. Is everyone crying right now? I love that I couldn't remember any of the words, but I know all the words and couldn't remember any of them.
Fallout Boys should do a version of Downtown. Oh my God, they do a good version. When you're alone and life is making you love. Like that. Yeah. Go downtown.
But, you know, the thing is, if this is your job, which it is our job to perform and it is our job to act, it is our job to make people laugh. It's like a lot of people don't feel good or go through things and they have to go to their job. Yeah, they have to do their job. So we kind of at the end of the day, that's why.
what you have to do. You just have to kind of push through and do your job. That's what the money's for. That's what the money's for. And then you go home and cry or stare at a wall or whatever it is and just, yeah, deal with it then. Also, look, I'm a hugger. I really do find... I'll just ask a crew member for a hug. There you go. Listen. I was premature. I was in an incubator. I wasn't touched enough.
You need touch. I got to get hugs. It's your love language. I feel like you've been touched enough at this point. I'm lousy with it'll never be enough. I feel like you've tapped out with touches.
I don't think May's tapping out with touches. You still gonna like the touches. You know what song I really like? I know you don't like the Beatles, but it's... I do. I know you do, but Fortune, hey, come on, Cork at Shrimp Nose. In My Life. Oh, yeah, that's a fucking great one.
I love you still. When I got kicked out, I listened to She's Leaving Home by the Beatles and got real emo. Also, Elliot Smith will get me there. They're leaving home. The places we remember all my life when I'm with you. Hey, Fortune. Is that how it is? If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, okay? If you can't sing anything nicely, don't sing anything at all. Okay.
Also, Shelter from the Storm by Bob Dylan. Oh, yeah. That's good. Or Don't Look Twice. Don't Look Twice. I might have said this before on the podcast. I think that's the best song, Don't Think Twice. If you're going through a breakup or a broken heart, listen to Don't Think Twice, either the Bob Dylan version or the Dolly Parton version, which is a peppier version. But the Bob Dylan version is when you're really in it. It is the perfect song.
Don't Think Twice. I got the title wrong. Yeah. You can look twice, but don't think twice. Yeah. Don't Think Twice is the perfect song to get you out of your funk
if someone's broken up with you and can you guarantee this i'm telling you listen if you if stephanie leaves me you're saying i just put that song on i'm telling you'll still be sad because that's i'm talking about a more like a relationship that's more like you're just dating and not like a marriage like me and the woman i'm involved with yeah like that and because it's a casual word just like um
Ain't no use in calling out my name, girl. Gal. Gal. Ain't no use in calling out my name, gal. I don't remember the words now. Neither does he. But it's like, he never knows his own words. You just kind of wasted my precious time. Don't think twice. It's all right. It's just saying like,
I'm bummed and hurt, but also like it sucks, but I'm going to be fine. There's one line in Don't Think Twice that always disturbs me a bit, that takes me out of it a little when it's like, I once loved a woman, a child, I'm told. I'm like, okay, well, if people are telling you that's a child.
No, that's... He's saying... He means emotionally. Wait, hold on. Let's interpret. Yeah, okay. A fortune feimster interprets Bob Dylan. That's a new segment on Handsome. He's just saying that he thought it was a woman, but she was immature. Yeah, yeah. Acted like... Acted like... It's not an actual child. I'm just joshing. Or something else, but...
Don't think twice. It's all right. It's all right. What about the Elton John Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters? Mm-hmm. That song. Do you know that song, Mae? No. Oh, well, do yourself a favor and look up Elton John's Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters. I've said this before, but the only reason the Mona Lisa is a famous painting and people think she's mysterious is because she has no eyebrows.
And I didn't realize that till this year. And then when you go on, you draw eyebrows on her. It's just a normal, pretty good painting, but nothing special. My son, Max, wanted a print of that for Christmas. And he got it and he hugged it. He was so excited. Oh,
Oh, my God. Yeah. He's got a little print of Lisa. Well, speaking of Lisa, should we listen to Lisa's answer? Yes, please. Do I have to answer that? OK, well, for me, I mean, I don't do stand up, but yeah, I mean, I think it works for everything, though, right? That you don't feel like doing. I make it about the other person.
And that it's something that I, it's bigger than me. It's not for me. So I just focus on the audience, you know, the up to two people who are interested in what I have to say and focus on that so that I can be present and do it. And then I'm not, not in the mood anymore. Yes. Did any of that make sense?
Oh, yeah. You don't get upset, I guess. Her delivery kills me, first of all, of even that I found hilarious. But yeah, completely. Like, you get so in your head about acting and then it's like, oh, there's another person in the scene, first of all. And then, yeah, the audience, like... They paid to be there. They showed up for you. That's what the money's for. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And it is bigger than you in that moment. I have such a pet peeve of when comedians like tell an audience that was funny. You should have laughed at that. Like you're and because very rarely like 1% of the time that's true. It's just like a weird dud audience or but that's your job. Like, you know what I mean? You probably you probably said it wrong. Yeah, I try not to ever blame the audience.
Yeah. I mean, I try not to. Sometimes I walk out going, that was a rough one. Yes. Don't know if it was me or if it was them, but that was a rough one. Yeah. Or if it was the four bachelor parties who were...
I did laugh thinking about when we had the Indigo Girls on our show asking the question. People kept quoting Tig's bit, being like, are they really going to ask a question? Or is Tig just messing with us? That would have been pretty funny. We were like, and here, asking the question is, Indigo Girls and the...
And then it's not. We keep teasing it. We keep getting sidetracked. Thank you for promoting my Netflix special, Happy to Be Here. That's right. If you like the Indigo Girls, you might really like Happy to Be Here on Netflix. And then at the end of the day, if we're not feeling something, if there's a heaviness happening with us or...
we got broke. Someone's got their heart broken. You lost somebody like sometimes you just can't push through. But then other times if you do push through, then maybe by the end of that hour, you, you've gained something too. Like there's some positive moment. You made eyes with somebody that, that,
looked happy you heard that laughter and so at the end of the day you can come away more fulfilled from that experience as well with this podcast i mean i'm uh you know even if you're like oh i'm tired today then you didn't you don't know you might be talking about shrimp nose fortune might sing yeah i had no idea shrimp nose was going to be introduced to my life i mean i wasn't feeling well today and i was like like on the couch like how am i gonna get through this day
and then i come on here and we laugh and it's fun and i feel good yeah well feel good there you go so you can be seen on netflix thank you you can see lisa being amazing and also she she like whoa are
Are you going to disagree, Tig? No. That's what it sounded like. Well, I don't know about that. Yeah, she improvised some really funny stuff too. Oh, that's cool. She's a funny, funny lady. And that completes our unexpected trifecta that we were so excited to roll out. Yes. We thought how funny it would be for people to be like, surely not. I mean,
I mean, what a podcast. I mean, truly. What a podcast. What a podcast. Who else is bringing you the trifecta lady friends? What if we find out a lot of shows brought the friend trifecta? Have three of them? Yeah, what if we find out that's kind of the main thing? It's hacky. That they only agree to do podcasts if all three of them can do it. Consecutively. Ah!
And if you're watching this on YouTube, I just want to point out that there's some kind of spirit around my head. I don't know when this happened, but there's a halo, an oval, like an orb. There's some spirit guide. Yeah. Like around my head. Do you think it's my grandma? Why would it be your grandma? It might be like Mork from Ork.
Why can't it be my grandma? That's pretty cool that you don't use my memory to act and cheapen that. She's like, I'll just visit Mae. I'll just sit on Mae's face. She's like, eat my ass. Mae likes touch. Give me more touches.
Wow, that is pretty trippy. It is a true orb around your whole face right now. I'm going to pretend that it's Fortune's grandma giving me a hug. If it's not my grandma, which juries out, who would you like for it to be?
Sitting on your face. Sitting on my face? Don't say Keri Russell. No, hey, she's yours. Okay. I was going to say my grandma, but now you said the sitting on your face thing. I'm going to go Marilyn Monroe. Whoa, okay. I think...
She was so misunderstood in her life, and I've always wanted to sit down with her and have a little... On her face. And give her a cuddle. Yeah, she did seem to get the short end of the stick in a lot of ways. I'm a deep Marilyn Monroe fan. Well, this is your chance, bud. Oh, God. She's in the room with me. I'm stroking... She's on your face. She's on my face. Am I stroking the orb right now? I really am. Fortune!
You guys do have to, after you're done with the audio version of this episode, I would like for you to go on our YouTube page and fast. You can watch the whole thing if you want. It's up to you, but go to the end and watch what's happening right now with maze. Look at Marilyn Monroe sit on maze phase. It's pretty wild. What could it, because it wasn't there.
It wasn't there. It's just appeared. Until like a minute ago. Yeah. Yeah. There is no scientific explanation for this. I feel we've come to the end of the road here on this episode and the friends, the gal friends trifecta on handsome pod. Thank you again for joining us. Yes. And thank you to Lisa. And also,
If you could take just one second, I know you hear us say it all the time, but take one second of your day to subscribe to the audio podcast and to the YouTube page and give us five stars. Give us a nice review. Tell your friends, share, share an episode, share three episodes, share Jen's episode, Courtney's episode and Lisa's episode.
Yeah, why not? Why not? That's what the money's for. I'll be there for you. Yeah, I still don't know all the words, but I do know that I'll be there for you. Do you guys have any? I'd like to plug my butthole. Jen! Oh my God. And my stand-up dates. I don't have many left.
But you can come watch me film my special in Seattle, April 13th at the Moore. I'm also going to be at the YouTube Theater in Los Angeles. Yeah, May 11th. And then Massey Hall in Toronto, May 18th. Nice. I'll be at a Dynasty Typewriter April 19th and Largo April 28th. And go to tignotaro.com.
for any other local Los Angeles shows or any, anything Tig related to be honest. And also don't forget to watch my new special. Hello again on Amazon directed by my lovely wife, Stephanie Allen. I'm going to be at Largo at some point in April and I, I don't, um, just check out Instagram always. And, uh,
Also, in early May, I'm doing the Netflix is a Joke Festival with Brett Goldstein. I think there's an extra night added and some tickets available. So check that out. And yeah, if you like this pod, check out Feel Good on Netflix to see Lisa Kudrow in action playing my mom and just being hilarious. Love you guys. And until then...
keep it huh no one said it back oh wait oh i thought you were saying that to the fans you're saying it to us wait what did you say to us i said for sure i love you yeah i thought you were like love you watch my watch feel good love you guys
I thought you were saying that. Yeah, I thought you were talking to the listeners. I didn't know that you were hitting on both of us. May, we love you. We love you, too. Thank you. Well, until then, keep it handsome.
Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast!