Deep Dive
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Welcome to Handsome. I'm Tig Notaro. I'm Fortune Feimster. And I'm Mae Martin. Woo! Yeah. We're handsome. We're so handsome today. So handsome. So handsome. Fortune's wearing a beautiful pink t-shirt. Thank you. Good for the complexion, my mother always said. Oh yeah, pink is? Pink is. Yeah, pink is. Okay.
You'd think that Fortune and I would know that as... What are we? What are we? Women? We are women. We are ladies through and through. We're ladies of the night. No, we are...
Southern... Oh yeah, Southern Bells. Oh yeah, and Southern Bells are pretty invested in how to make the complexion glow, I would say. Tig and I in particular are very invested in that. Yeah. How are you all? It's nice to see you. Nice to see you guys. It's been a couple weeks, hasn't it? Or no. I know. It's been a week. It's been a week. It feels like two. Yeah.
Anybody up to anything handsome? Well, I saw Fortune in Montreal at Just for Laughs. So that was we were pretty handsome there. Yeah, we were. Yeah. What about you, Tig? Oh, I've just been traveling with my family. I mean, that's pretty handsome. I think you don't get much more handsome than that. No, it's been so fun. This is really I was just saying to Stephanie, this has felt like
We have really had a summer. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Proper summer. Yeah. We've just we've been at the beach. We've been in the mountains. We've been in the city. We've been on the road. We've been flying. We're just like in the ocean and hot tubs and friends and out to dinner and cooking. And that's amazing. All sorts of everything. Seeing family and old friends. Yeah. Yeah.
And seeing our kids, it's so cute, just running out into a park and field and wanting to play with other kids. And there was this soccer field where there were older kids, probably junior high and fifth grade. And our son, Finn, was standing there watching. And I said, do you want to go play with them? He was like, I can just watch.
And I said, but if they wanted you to play, does that sound fun? And he said, yeah. And I said, well, why don't I go over and just introduce everyone and see? And he said, oh, okay. Oh, my God. That's so cute. Because you won't be able to do that when they're a little bit older than this. They'll be too embarrassed. So this is perfect. It was so cute. And so we walk up and it's like,
these guys with backward hats and sunglasses on and you know and I said hey um do you think and and my kids are so athletic that it can look like oh a seven-year-old's coming in but surprise twist they're really good and so I said um hey um do you think there's maybe some room for an extra player and this kid again must have been like 13 he goes yeah sure he said why don't you be on my team
my team, buddy. And then Finn jumped into the soccer game and was immediately kicking ass. So cute. This story is amazing. And watching the 13 year old high five my little seven year old, I just was like,
I don't know what to do with my emotions. That 13-year-old needs a medal. And that's like, thank God. There's hope for the future. That's amazing. The sweetest kids. And thankfully, he was good. Yeah, exactly. All the other friends of the 13-year-old are like, man, what are you doing that for? You ruined our day, man. I know. I took video. I did it very quickly and just walked away. But I just had to get video of...
Of my little tiny son. Well, and then Max joined too. My two little tiny sons running around with teenagers on a soccer field was just a little much for me. Yeah. That's what a summer is supposed to be, you know? Yeah. Yeah. That's what I've been thinking about lately is like Jax has been like, we have to like also live our life and do some fun things. It can't just be work all the time. Yeah. And I made that mistake this summer. I just...
Yeah, I'm pretty busy. Yeah, out to Yahoo. Oh, you've been just working nonstop. Nonstop. Okay. Whereas I'm seeing some of my other comedian friends just are starting to take summers off. And I'm like, maybe I need to start looking at that. Yeah. Yeah, go to a cottage or something. I'm going to go to Toronto for four days. But man, I've been slammed. But also, I was recently in a park with a kid. And okay, not to toot my own horn, but I was playing...
We were like playing a make-believe game where I was a monster who was trying to get her, but I couldn't leave the sandbox area. So she was safe outside of the sandbox. And then I guess I got really into the character and I started singing this song about like, I'm the loneliest monster in the world or something like that. And like how I have no friends and she just burst into tears. And then she was like, I,
I'll play with you monster. Like she was so sad that the monster was lonely because I was like, no one cares.
cares. Oh my gosh. I was so happy with myself that I like concocted a song that devastated this child. Yeah. I was so proud. She had real tears. I really leveled her. Yeah. And it felt good. But we were so deeply invested in this game. It was super fun. Yeah. And do you think you'll release that song as a single? The wheels are in motion. Yeah.
I say get on it. I'd love to do more voice acting of like weird little squirrels or monsters. Oh, let's hear the weird little squirrel. It's like, yeah, you guys. It's always like New York. Hi, you guys. Hi, you guys. Trying to catch up to everyone. Wait for me. Wait for me, you guys. I've done a fair amount of voice acting, but it always sounds like me.
Same. Except for this one Cartoon Network thing I did. I played a monster that had a really low voice like this. Oh. I love that. And was it a lonely monster that didn't have any friends? She was kind of, like, she had friends, but she was definitely more like, you know, the outcast. Yeah. Yeah.
I was like, I don't want to use my voice because this voice has friends. Yeah, right. That's a very popular voice. Yeah, it radiates social. This person. That person. No friends. Nobody's picking up when I call. Yeah, you get stuck at a party in a corner with that person.
Oh, there's nothing worse than getting stuck at a party in the corner. Actually, I put myself in the corner in a lot of parties. You did that at my party. Yeah. Would you prefer to be alone in that corner? No, I just like, I know I appear to be very like, I am outgoing, but I kind of had to train myself to be outgoing by nature. I'm a little bit more introverted and a little shyer than people would realize. Um,
So when I'm in a social setting where I don't know a lot of people, I tend to like find a corner. Hopefully there's snacks and I eat some snacks and kind of what I like watching the party. I'm not having a bad time. I'm just more observing everyone in their element. Yeah. Yeah. You bring your throne. Yeah.
Tig, I can't imagine you getting stuck in a conversation with someone boring because in my mind, you'd be standing there and they'd be talking and you'd be like, I'm going to stop you there. I feel like you'd just say, I'm going to excuse myself from this conversation. Or you'd really politely say... I am bored to tears.
Yeah, I can see you saying that to someone. I'm bored to tears. Just being like, I don't, just kind of like, I'm going to remove myself from the situation. You do it in a charming way. Yeah, a charming Tig way. None of those examples are charming. No, that is charming to be like, I'm going to just leave you and go.
Okay, buckaroo. You know what? I have not stood in that corner of the room yet. Yep. And I've been aching too. So I'm going to go stand over there. Yeah. I don't mind being alone at a party. I certainly don't enjoy when somebody thinks alone.
I'm alone and bored and they have to fill my ears with talking. And you were perfectly fine. And then they're perfectly fine. I just wanted to look at everybody and observe. And, uh,
Yeah. And then it gets... It's uncomfortable when somebody... Because they're projecting what they would want. Yeah. And they think they're rescuing you. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if I mentioned this on this show or not, but I was at a... When I had first moved to Los Angeles...
I was at a Sundance party. A friend said, oh, there's a bunch of people going to this house and you should come meet up. And I went there and I knocked on the door.
Nobody answered. And I continued to knock. The reason nobody answered because the music was going. Nobody was knocking on doors to walk into the party. So I finally go in and nobody that invited me to this party was there. And so I stood by the snack table. And I had been snowboarding all day and I had my...
I think I had my sunglasses on a string, you know, around my neck. And I was just standing there eating snacks. And then this girl came up and talked to me and had a nice chat, I thought. And then after she walked away, I looked down and my sunglasses had been catching all of my crumbs. Yeah.
that didn't make it into my mouth. And so I was just sitting there chatting with crackers and chips. With a little...
You're like a little squirrel eating. Like May's little squirrel. Yeah, I thought I didn't know where that story was going to go. And I thought it was going to be and she walked away and I realized that was Malala or something like that. But then I thought they were going to tell you to leave the party. Yeah, man. Maybe we're the wrong party. I might have been. I don't even know if anyone showed up.
Oh, that's such a TIG thing to say. That's such a perfect TIG response, which to me just encapsulates you because you're so unique, which we were texting about. And then you posted the story about you meeting Stephanie and taking it to the next level. And it killed me. So it was one of those like social media moments where like I'm on TikTok and
And there's a TikTok from a, it's a post from a podcast video.
of an interview that Tig's wife Stephanie did talking about how she and Tig were hanging out and just sent Tig this really long email. We had kissed. We kissed, and then the follow-up was this long 10-page email. Yeah, because Stephanie had only been with men, and there was all this tension. I remember seeing this in your documentary and being like, get me in that relationship. No, I don't think it was in the documentary.
I don't know what it was in. Or maybe Stephanie just told me. I just love it. We've told the story a few times. But it does not get old. And I had never heard... I say it doesn't get old. I had never heard it before. So it didn't get old to me. But I don't want to... Stephanie sent you that long email and then what happened? Yeah, she was just like, oh my gosh, I just love hanging out with you. I have so much fun. I love laughing. It was fun to kiss. Yeah.
And it was true. I'm not exaggerating. I could find the email and I should, I haven't looked for it in a long time, but it went on and on and on just kindly letting me down saying that she didn't want to lead me on week that she can't date me saying I'm straight or yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I just press reply and only wrote, okay, Dyke. And then press send. Yeah.
And I just laughed so hard on my end, but also knew I was bummed. But I also knew that was a huge risk. But I thought, whatever, she didn't want to date me. Yeah, nothing that Liz you thought at the time. But she told me as soon as she got that email, I sent it immediately after I read her email. And I just wrote, OK, Dyke, F.
And she said she laughed so hard. And she said, honestly, in that moment, I thought...
Okay, I like her. Yeah. And that kind of is what helped, you know, move our relationship along. Yeah. With me saying, okay, dying. I'm so glad you like followed your gut and you didn't send this email back being like, you hurt me or I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Because that was, like I said, the perfect Tig response. That's like so...
when I think of you and like your humor, you know? And if she hadn't gotten that, like if she had been like, oh, okay, that's not your person, right? No. But the fact that she's darn laughing, you're like, that's your person. Well, it sounds like you might be my person, Fortune. Yeah. Because you texted me. I'm on board.
I was crying. I was on the couch and Jax was like, what are you laughing at? I said, this story about taking Stephanie, like tears were streaming down my face. Just, just the idea that someone sent this like huge,
Huge, long, heartfelt email letting you down and like ending things. And you're just like, okay, Dyke. Ending things that didn't even, we weren't even together. You know, we just like, we met up one night with a group of friends and kissed. And then she sent me this. I didn't even ask what was going on between us. You know, she was just like, let me get ahead of it. Nothing is going on between us. And nothing.
Now we are married with a production company, two kids and three cats. What did she say when it came back up? I mean, I know y'all have talked about it before, but it's just something y'all laugh about at this point. What, when I told her that you had said that?
And she said that she gets a lot of feedback from that story. And I think she was a little, I don't know if it's crazy to be like, I can't believe Fortune didn't know that story. It's not like it's the most famous story in the world, but people have definitely heard it. Like I've mentioned it on podcasts and she has too. I think she mentioned it in like a Vanity Fair article or something. Yeah. I had not seen it, but it gave me quite the chuckle. So.
I appreciate it. Okay. I just want to respond to everybody like that now. Okay, Dyke. Yeah. Well, I thought of like having t-shirts made and things like that. Oh my God. Because if you see, you know, okay, Dyke, and you're familiar with us, then, you know. A million percent. We're bringing it back. Get ready to sell those t-shirts. That's right.
That's right. Now that it's on the handsome pod. Yeah. Screw Vanity Fair. How did we get on? I can't remember how we got on this, but I love it. I brought it up. Well, we're just a real LGBTQ plus gaggle. And so those kinds of stories are going to come up with us. Hey, if you don't like it. Stick around. Stick around. Stick around.
Whether you like what you hear or whether you don't, stick around. There's more of that coming. Yeah.
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I don't want to make you guys jealous, but I am going to Taylor Swift's tonight. So am I. Look at that. Handsome. Handsome. Yeah. And I have to say, I don't...
This is not like me being a hipster. I don't know her music. I know maybe three songs. That's hilarious. Everyone's dying to get tickets and you're like, I'm not really familiar. I know. The person I'm dating got tickets from her friend and I think it's like a cultural moment, right? It is a cultural moment. Yeah. And everyone says it's mind-blowing.
You guys both love her? I love her. I think she's fantastic. I love that. Yeah. I followed her when she was only a country artist. Right. Her song Tim McGraw. Do you know that song? Oh, yeah. The duet with Tim. Or no, she had the song before she did the duet. She did eventually do a duet, but I know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. That song hooked me.
the Tim McGraw song, the, not the duet, but the, but I do love Tim McGraw. I gotta be honest. And then I went, when I had gotten out of the hospital after I had been diagnosed, I, I was invited to stand up to cancer, that Katie Couric event that she puts on. And that was 2012. And when,
when Taylor Swift made a surprise appearance at Stand Up To Cancer, it was still massive. I remember being like, whoa, Taylor Swift is here? Yeah, really? Yeah, she sat down and played, I think, guitar and piano. And I think that really...
won me over where I was like, well, she's legit. She's impressive. Yeah. And she's doing it right. I mean, this whole tour is like mind blowing and it's such a, like you said, a cultural moment like that someone's brought this many people together. I know. From very different walks of life people are going and into her and different age groups. You and me, we're very different walks of life. That's right. We're both going to
I don't have anything to bedazzle myself with. I've been seeing a lot of rhinestones on TikTok. But what's also interesting is Stephanie and I were talking about this this morning, which I think everyone's just spending their life right now talking about Taylor Swift. And so this morning when we were having coffee, we were talking about how she'll plant her tour in a major city, Florida.
for two weeks and do a stadium every night in the same city. And so obviously there's so many different walks of life going to her show. There's probably a lot of similar walks of life going to her show, but what's,
really fascinating that Stephanie brought up is how she's a very political person. She's politically active. She's very outspoken. She's not playing it safe and walking a line to draw in. Yeah. Everybody. Yeah. But she's getting everybody. Yeah. Just here in LA, can you imagine? She's like here, like six nights or something, 75,000 people.
I mean, it's mind-blowing the amount of tickets she's selling. How are you getting your Uber after? Because I'm a little concerned about how... I think I want to drive. I don't think I want to chance the Uber. Oh, you should helicopter in, both of you. That'd be very handsome. I didn't think of that, of course. What a handsome idea. But not just helicopter in, hanging off...
the little things that you land on. And go down on the rope. No, not a rope. They don't even land. Just jump from the helicopter. Into the stadium. Just... Yeah. They're like...
that fortune and may i have my phone i'm like taylor can you ask the handsome pot a question as you're falling down and then the audience catches you they taught you know a crowd surf yeah only one of you you should helicopter in and jump into the crowd may you should be there to be stunned when fortune is passed by you and we'll have you know someone taping you going oh
Oh, okay. Yeah. And it'll go viral. Just me. I look up and I do a double take and fortune's just crowd surfing to the front. And that goes viral. Yeah. And, and just May's voice going, Oh,
And then I look right at the camera and I go, what? And then you turn into that little squirrel. What? You guys, wait. Wait up. I want to crowd surf. I'm going to have to find a helicopter today and learn how to jump out of a plane. You got a busy day. Gosh. All May has to do is go, what?
He just needs to learn one Taylor song. Oh, God, I know. Shake it off, shake it. And I know, I knew you were trouble. I'm going to say that when you come go by me. I'm going to go, you were trouble when you dropped in. This is how old I feel. I bought earplugs because that's smart. I knew people, I knew that she has so many young fans who are going to be screaming at
Oh my God. Fets of fortune screaming. This makes me feel like I'm a hundred. But all I can think is that there's going to be 75,000 people literally screaming. She won't be too loud.
But I'm going to be wearing these. I'm excited to hear her, but not the 75,000 screaming people. Okay, Fortune, with your earplugs, would you also please wear a nose plug? Like a swimmer's nose plug? Yeah, wear a nose plug. Just plug every orifice. Every hole possible. Yes.
People are wearing all kinds of crazy things. So I could probably get away with it.
I don't know. I literally actually, I actually just found out this morning I'm going. So this is all very last minute. May, what are you wearing? You know, a suit. No, I don't know. I mean, I didn't know people dress up. I guess I'll wear just my regular, I got a flight at 7am tomorrow morning. I got to get rid of this grinch attitude though. I got to, I have to go in with joy in my heart and let Taylor lift me up. Let Taylor lift you up. She's going to blow your mind.
Yeah, I do know that. I'm excited about that. I don't know who's opening. Haim. Is it Haim? Oh, I love Haim. Yeah, they're rad. I love Katy Perry. And years ago, Stephanie got me tickets to go to see Katy Perry. I don't know how I was completely out of touch with this element. I just thought everybody else would be at the concert like me just...
a fan of Katy Perry and watching Katy Perry in concert. We show up. I'm sure this won't shock you. It was full of children. No. And everybody had like sparkles and like, you know, little,
with stars on their head. Yeah, totally. Pink had some of that too, some of that fan base too. Yeah, and then Katy Perry was like floating around on some sort of rocket ship through the air. And I was like, what is happening? I mean, I enjoyed it, but I started to feel a little self-conscious that I was at this concert. Because baby, yeah,
you're a firework. Yeah, I had all my gray hair and I was like, I said, Stephanie, what are all these kids doing here? And she was like, that's her audience. Yeah, she kind of plays into that campy kind of thing. Had no idea, but fine with me. I just didn't know. You're still a fan.
Still a fan. I love pink. I love pink. Love pink. Fortune, I feel like I'm going to look up at one point tonight and see you in the VIP section of the Taylor Swift concert, and I'm going to be jammed between 25, 12-year-olds and just have to pee already. Just thinking about it, I have to pee. Wear a diaper. Should I?
Well, just out and about every day. Yeah. It is going to be a whole thing. And I'm not normally the type of person that likes to go to things that's a whole thing. But it felt too big to pass up. Like, I can't miss Tay Swift. Yeah, you got to go. Yeah. When we do our handsome stadium tour, do you think kids are going to come? Like, are we going to have a big production with, like, glitter and, like, you know, people? Oh. Yeah, spaceships. We're going to be flying around on spaceships. Yes.
Holding whiskey in her hand. Katy Perry will make a surprise appearance. No, we're going to slam into Katy Perry on her rocket ship. Yeah, we're like, oh, damn. Pink will be twirling on her rope or whatever she does. That's what I want to see us do. The aerial acrobatics. Yes. Yes, one million percent. That's what our audience would be there for. But it's just our theme song playing over and over again. Yeah.
With a clank. Yeah, and we finally land on stage and just talk for 40 minutes and then go back on the ropes. This sounds very exciting. Yeah, it'll be a cultural moment. It 1 million percent won't. No one will even tell a friend. I know, and we're talking about how...
No, and our only demographic will be people exactly like us. Well, I think it's that time, y'all. I'm excited because we just did a show with this person in Montreal, Fortune and I, at Just for Laughs. And the host was Lil Rel Howry. Yeah, Lil Rel is so funny. He is from the Carmichael show. He really blew up.
on the movie Get Out. He played the TSA agent who was so hilarious. And ever since then, he's been in a thousand things, the movie Free Guy and Vacation Friends. He's also a very funny standup. And he asked the handsome pod a question.
what's going on it's your boy little real and this is my question okay not access to everybody because you're comedians you go on the road you know the truth to this who has the best pizza new york or chicago oh it's fun it's funny hearing people yelling in the background this was after the show yeah it's probably me yelling about how much i bummed you
You did not bomb. It was probably other people he had just asked this question to at the festival. He's like, who has the best pizza? And they're arguing in the background. That's true. It's a very divisive question. I'm almost scared to wade in. Like with this, we could lose like 50% of our listeners. I will say real quick on that show.
It does make a difference where you go. So it was a crowd work show. So everybody had the same crowd to work with. I went first on that show. And so the crowd had not been asked anything. So there's a lot to work with.
And then in the next show I went last and you went last on our show. Yeah. It is hard to do crowd work last on a crowd that has already been asked like, you know, 30 questions by other comedians. So it does, it is an interesting thing. So. And I have to say when I've done standup and I'll have an opener who does crowd work, I do ask that they not do crowd work because when I go on, um,
if I interact with the audience I don't want to step on what they already said and it just I feel like it makes things a little messy if everyone's talking to the audience that was like the whole premise of this show is like so you're watching backstage and trying to remember because you you can't do material everyone has to do crowd work and I will just quickly say that it was so humiliating because they were like it's really good if you get someone up on stage or like you you
And so all I could think to do in the moment was there was someone with a lot of tattoos and I was like, guys, guys, I'm going to get a tattoo and we can all decide what the tattoo is going to be. And then I swear to God, I'll get it. And everyone's face was like, we don't really want you to do that. We don't want you to.
do that. And then I was like, okay, I want to get this guy. I want to get your name on me, sir. And then I got him to come up and write his name on me. And still everyone's face was just like, don't do this. Don't get this tattoo. And I was going, guys, I swear, I'm going to get it tomorrow. You're a tattoo artist. I'm going to get right next to my oatmeal tattoo. Yes. And everyone was just horrified. And I was just forcing them to force me to get a tattoo. And it was just funny, probably because it was a Canadian audience as well. And they were like,
Oh, no, don't do that to yourself. You don't need to do that. You don't need to do that. We're okay. Don't desecrate your body. Yeah, that was the vibe. Oh, God. Next time you're shopping for snacks and you're craving something crunchy and satisfying, ditch the bag of chips and grab wonderful pistachios, no shells. Your body and your taste buds will thank us. I love pistachios, my friends. They're the perfect snack, whether you're having a busy day or relaxing with friends.
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But you did great. You were amazing, Fortune. It was fun. Well, honestly, I do think the lineup makes a difference because my second time at the next show, I did not do as well. Okay. Well, it's always nice to hear that. Yeah, bud. When you do less well. Just kidding. But yeah, Lil Rel was asking about pizza. Now, I feel like he might be biased because he is from Chicago. He's very proud of this fact. Oh.
Okay. Just to clarify, because I've never been to Chicago. We're talking thin crust New York. I've never been. So Chicago is thick, deep dish. Chicago is thick, deep dish. Their Geno's is a big one there. Lou, what is it? Lou Monty's or something like that. Lou Reed? Is it Lou Reed who works there? Is it Lou Reed? Malnati's. Malnati's?
Something like that, yeah. And they're hardcore about it. Yeah. It comes in a deep dish.
and there's crust. Extracts. There's this much. You guys, are you good with how much is that? Fortune's doing, what, two to three inches here? Three inches? There's about that much of the filling. So it's the sauce and the pepperoni and the cheese. It's all like a pie almost. I'm going to go New York. New York is thin. Yeah. What you just described, I mean, I've certainly had...
some version of deep dish pizza. I've been to Chicago many times, but I am not somebody... I love pizza. I didn't always. My father worked at a pizza restaurant when I was a kid. And...
He was the assistant manager and we got a lot of pizza and played a lot of Pac-Man. But I didn't like pizza then when I was able to swim in pizza. And then as I got older, I started to appreciate it. I worked in a pizza place.
I did two later. You did as well? Oh, twins. Yeah, we are twins. It's very hot. The ovens are so hot. I worked from 6 p.m. until 4 a.m. for about six months when I was 16. I just got kicked out and I needed cash and it was like the graveyard shift and it was epic.
Hell, all the bars would close at like 2.30 in the morning and people would stream in and we had this vegan pizza. Actually, I don't know if I, I don't think I can tell this story. I do not come across well in it. Let's hear it. Okay, Tegan in particular, this might change our relationship, but keep in mind I was 16. Oh, wait, did you tell us this? You put something not vegan on there. Yeah, I put bacon fat on the vegan pizza.
Just as my own little victory against the people because I was so mad. They were so rude all the time. And I watched them. Yeah. And I watched them come in and they ate that pizza and they loved, they were like, this is incredible. And I, and I thought, what have I become?
Yeah, and I had all burns on my arms from the ovens. Well, that was God. That was karma. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't karma. It was God. It was flat out God. It was flat out God. See, when I worked at the pizza restaurant, and just to go back, how dare you, Mae? Yeah, that's fair. You could have just directly said, you're being rude.
I know. I know. It really, it was a dark moment in my personality. You were going through a lot at that time, obviously. No excuse. No excuse. Very Machiavellian. When I worked at the pizza restaurant, I had this little group of rock and roll buddies that were just my BFFs, just all the long-haired dudes and the smokers and...
all in a band and we all worked at this pizza restaurant together. And the most awesome part of that job was delivering pizzas. And I say to this day, if I had to do another job, it would be delivering pizza because you get to leave work. Yeah. Number one, I would like to, you get to listen to your music in your car. Yeah. Number three, your car smells like pizza. Yeah. Number four,
Cold hard cash in your little paw after you deliver. Yeah. That actually does sound like an awesome job. Exactly. I loved it. Did you wear a uniform? No, no. This is like rock and roll pizza joint.
You know that actress Jennifer Tilly? Yes. Oh my God. An actor that you know. That's amazing. Well, she was in Bound. Yes. Yes. Yeah. That was such a great movie. So good. So I picture Jennifer Tilly with her sexy voice like answering the door in her lingerie with a cigarette and you're there delivering the pizza. It's perfect. I never delivered anything.
Where is she these days? Jennifer Tilly. She's almost a professional poker player or maybe she is professional. She plays a lot and she's in stuff. She's in like the Chucky TV show. And also she was in that in bound with Gina Gershon. Okay. I went this.
This is TMI. Give it to us. Which, by the way, TMI bothers me because it's too little information. Always. Because you're giving initials. TMI. What does that stand for? It's too much information. Okay. This gets into kind of...
intimacy stuff. Love it. When I was like in 2013, I was really into this woman and, uh, I had been very ill and we had started hanging out before I had gotten my cancer diagnosis. And then I had just been coming through my other health stuff. And then boom, I get my cancer diagnosis right in the middle of hanging out with her. And I'm like, Oh my God,
Oh, now I have to tell her I have cancer. Oh, man. And so I go through all of my surgery and my treatment and everything. I come out and then I'm she and I are living in New York. Both have jobs. We've lived in L.A., but we happen to be moving to New York at the same time. It was like really crazy. Yeah. And she's really good friends with Gina Gershon. Oh, shit. Oh, I think I know who this is.
She was house sitting? She was house sitting for Gina, who had this incredible apartment right on the river. And it's just the dreamy situation that where you just, it's just all glass windows looking over the water in Manhattan. It was insane. And the first time that like we really hooked up,
Was that Gina Gershon's apartment? A whole layer of hotness just knowing that Gina Gershon has also hooked up in that apartment is so hot. And Fortune, you think you know who this person is? Uh-huh. Oh, who is it? Well, I don't want to say on the podcast. Well, we can bleep it. I think it was...
Oh, yes. Yes. Yeah. Okay. To Google that person. I only know because I you and I had a dinner with a mutual friend around that time. Yeah. Yeah. So you're going New York to New
I've never been to Chicago, but I'm kind of drawn to what you described, Fortune. But also, pizza is sort of the reason that my marriage didn't happen when I was engaged. What? Yeah. It like...
I don't really like pizza. Not to be, I feel like this episode, I'm like, Taylor Swift, pizza, the most popular things in the world. That's okay. You like a huge pot of pizza? Because I've grown, but, and, because I don't love all the bread and,
Anyway, this was like a well-known fact about me among my peers. You know, that pizza is not my fave. And then I was living in the UK and my fiance was living in Canada and she was kind of planning the wedding. Like it got quite far. The invitations had gone out and we were talking on the phone and she was like, yeah, I booked this set. I mean, there were other problems. This wasn't the only...
The only thing, but she was like, I booked a pizza restaurant for our after party, you know, after we signed the papers and we'll, we'll all just go to this pizza. And I was like, well, I, that's like the one thing I don't, I don't like pizza. And she was like, yeah, but everyone else does. And it'll be easy. And I was like,
Oh, no. I just was thinking about the smell of the pizza and what would I eat? And I was like, I guess I could get... The whole place would smell delicious. But I was like, I should get like delivery sushi that I can eat in the bathroom. Oh, my God. Hilarious. Can they deliver sushi there? Yeah. And I thought this is a sign. Oh, that you guys were too far apart in your interest. Yeah, it was all kind of like this...
It was a moving train that I felt like I wasn't a part of, but that was also my fault. But you've started liking pizza now. Do you like thin crust?
Or you're just like, it's fine, but what Fortune's described is a big pan of pizza. That's a lot. That's a heavy dish. A deep dish. I think it's that I want to be someone who wants the deep dish because I'm trying to stop being so neurotic about like grease. Yeah, I want the deep dish. I sound like Hannah. What's his name? It puts the lotion on its skin. Oh, yeah. Hannibal Lecter. No, Buffalo Bill. Buffalo Bill, yeah.
Now, Mae, you said you pointed out two things, the bread and the grease. Yeah. Are you somebody where you typically you try to avoid grease and bread? Like, are you a low carb person? Not anymore. You know, growing up, I was I had such bad skin. It's just like a skin thing. And I remember my mom really drilling into me like,
oil is bad and grease and stuff, which really that's not, it's more sugar and stuff that causes, but. And dairy. Yeah, totally. But I was like, oh God. And then I remember I heard Miley Cyrus say something about her skin got better when she stopped eating bread. But then like a couple of years ago, I thought this is all bullshit. Now I quite
Quite a lot of bread and I feel great. Yeah, so I'm trying it, but I still have like the hang up in me of like, you know, and I guess I feel sluggish if I eat like a ton of wheat, but is this boring? Pizza is a better like winter food, I think, like when it's cold outside. Oh, pizza in the morning when you're hungover. I know that's a cliche, but like cold pizza, really good. I used to hate pizza. I did not like it growing up. My mom said she ate a lot of pizza when she was pregnant with me.
And so as a kid, they would always want to go get pizza. And I was like, oh, gross. I hate pizza. Which is weird because I seem like someone that would have been like a diehard pizza from day one. But most of the options back then were like Pizza Hut, Domino's. Yeah. There weren't a lot of like wood fired pizza situations. So did you have Mr. Gaddy's? No, Mr. Gaddy's.
That's where my father worked in Mississippi. Oh, yeah? Who was Mr. Gotti himself? I don't know. Very famous man. But, man, my father...
He and Mr. Gaddy's pizza, they were tight. Pizza makes me think of like a kid's birthday party at a bowling alley. Yeah. Those are good memories. It wasn't good back then. It was just very doughy, big, fatty pizza. And I wasn't really into it. And now that I'm older and there's all these wood-fired situation, I love that. So I think that would be the closest thing to New York because like the less crust. I like it super thin, a little crunchy. Yeah.
And I even like, I'm more into the like goat cheese or caramelized onions, like that kind of situation. Okay, hello. Somebody is a fancy and handsome. You know what they do in Colorado? What's that? A lot of places in the mountains, pizza places that you go to, they have honey on the table. And so you eat your pizza, you hold onto your crust and
And then at the end, like a dessert, you just, you pour honey on the crust. I like the sound of that. I think part of the fun is when there's a little bit of...
cheese still kind of the salty and sweet yes in my vegan days I'm now obviously vegan cheese and I've substituted maple syrup oh yeah I don't I don't eat honey yeah salty and sweet I once dated a girl who put maple syrup on bacon and then cooked it it was really good but yeah I'm having a vision right now of the deep dish pizza so you're taking the dish which
What is it? A metal dish or what are we? For the deep dish? It's more like a pan. Pan. Yeah. Pan. So taking that and then putting it in the snow for like an hour and then we're
Or a fridge, actually. A fridge makes more sense. No, definitely put it in the snow. You carry it up a snow-covered mountain. Yeah. I like the image of that more. In the snow, and then it gets all cold, and all that cheese in the deep dish gets solid, and you can cut it with a knife like it's a cake almost. I like that. I think I'm intimidated by...
It being so messy. Yeah, that's definitely like a heavy... That's a heavy food. That's for people who are into like pot pies and stuff. Oh, I like a pot pie. Chicken pot pie, yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go New York for myself. You're going New York? Yeah. So we're all being... Okay, I'm going to go Chicago mainly to endear myself to Lil Rel because I know that...
Well, I think he's going to be. I'm interested. Well, I want to say real quick, Tig, one of my favorite, you know, frozen pizzas that you just pop in the oven at home. It's the Daiya pizza, the vegan Daiya pizza. Really? It's one of my favorite.
from the frozen food section. That is surprising. I do the plain cheese one. No, nothing else on it. And then I bring it when I pop it in my oven, I put some pineapple on it, which is a whole other argument. Some people hate pineapple on pizza. That upsets, that upsets a bunch. That's Canadian. I like the diet pizza because the crust is really crunchy and the, and the cheese tastes good. So that's,
Where it's at for me. Yeah, there's some... I can't remember the name of the frozen vegan pizza that we'll have on Fridays at our house. We've had like, you know, pizza night. And we have these little frozen pizzas that Max and Finn really enjoy. And I have this special...
that I've put together that I'll have to give both of you. Did I give it to you? No, I'm... Oh, I thought you were saying, oh yeah, you've given it to me. No, I'm amazed at the idea of you making a concoction. Yeah, what's a concoction? Well, I started when we...
became vegan years ago, I was that typical person that was so scared of the diet. Like, how do you get your protein? How do you get your all of those things that you really don't need to worry about, but you think you have to. I mean, you have to worry about it if you're only eating like a loaf of bread every day, of course, you're going to be deficient. But I came up with this concoction that has all sorts of
I'm not going to give you the ingredients because honestly, I would love, my plan is to start a little business. Really? But when I go to people's houses for dinner or parties, I always bring this mix and I call, you know, to come back to the word dyke, I call it dyke dust. And,
And it goes on everything that's savory, whether it's pasta, pizza, soup, salads, burritos, whatever it is. And it just is so nutrient dense. Oh, really? And it's so delicious. And people like Sarah Silverman and other friends are like,
I'm low on dyke dust. I got to get some more dyke dust. I would love some dyke dust because I am very nutrient deficient. Okay. You got to start this company. Yeah. I have to change the name because if I can name drop. I took it to Jennifer Aniston's house once and she was like, I love this. I love this. But I, how,
would I possibly how would somebody like me possibly say dyke dust or order dyke dust it's not you know it's hard for us to order these kinds of things did you tell her it will turn her gay well that's the whole plan is I'm going house to house party to party just turning everyone gay with this dyke dust you're like it's nutrients okay dyke okay dyke dust
Yeah, you got to think of a good name. We'll help you think of a good name at some point. But I'll get you jars of the Dyke Dust. But I'm telling you, everybody loves it. You know what it's so good on?
avocado toast. It's so good. I need a jar of this Tig. Okay, well. I'm allergic to coconut. Am I safe? I know you are, kid. I keep mentioning it. Every episode I get it in there. You were down for the count a couple weeks ago because of coconut. You are. Hello, my name is Mae Martin and I am allergic to coconut and I am the same with I'm vegan. I'm Tig Notaro and I am vegan. Fortune, what are you? I'm Fortune Feimster and I'm depleted of nutrients. Okay.
Well, I'll get everybody. Have you had Dyke Dust, Thomas? I don't think so. No, I haven't given it to you. Thomas needs it too. Wow, I'm surprised. Okay. I'll get everybody.
A jar of Dyke Dust. And you tell me if it is absolutely delicious. Maybe our listeners can bid on a jar of Dyke Dust. Yes. Well, my point of bringing it up is... No, wait. That's not like a cool thing. This is like an eBay account. Not even for charity, just for us. My point of bringing up Dyke Dust is...
We put that on pizza on Friday pizza night. When you describe some of the things your family does like Friday night pizza night and stuff I want to be it makes me realize that I'm yearning for that experience and it's almost almost to the point where it's unpleasant where I'm like I want to be in your family. It's like it sounds so fun.
well you're more than welcome to come over. Tig does have a lovely family. I'd love to come over. Yeah fortune's hung out with my kids. In Vegas baby. Yeah where you party with most kids. Who partied? I got the sports stats for the day. Of course. Of course.
Well, should we hear what Lil Rel had to say? Yeah. As a guy from Chicago, Illinois is Chicago all day. New York sell very flat pizzas and the meat is flat and that's stupid.
That's it. And that's stupid. Stupid flat meat. Rell's always Chicago. He's diehard Chicago. So that does not surprise me one bit. Like pepperoni is famously flat, right? Like how could it not be flat? Yeah.
You have a point, Mae. That is true, Mae. Although I like a chicken pizza. I like chicken and broccoli on a pizza. Oh, like a topping. Yeah, yeah. Wow, flat meat. Yeah, I like it with a lot of the stuff on it. People put a lot of the toppings. I'm not as big into the meat on pizza, but I love the veggies on pizza. Wow, fortune eating vegan pizza and loving veggies. Sounds like we could...
lure you over to the vegan world. You never know. I have a feeling.
I could easily be lured to this new lease on life I have of like, yeah, I'm learning to drive. I'm like, get me healthy. Yeah. Let's do it. Look at you. Yeah. As my mom says, you're turning over a new leaf. Yeah. Is she the only one that says that? Just go on. Yeah, her mother invented that and then told my mother, who also said it, and then my mother told everyone else. There you go.
Well, amazing. Well, thank you, Laurel, for your question. Was it really that amazing? I thought so. Just talking with y'all. It's amazing to me. It's always amazing. I'm kidding. I thought you were saying that's amazing that he chose his city. That's amazing. I do throw that word around a lot. Awesome and amazing. Rad, dude. Yeah.
My sons have started calling everybody bro and dude. Bro. You'll hear them wrestling and they'll be like, bro, you hit me in the nuts. Oh my God. That's so good. Fortune, do you have any things coming up you want to promote? Uh,
I sure do have some things to tell you guys about. I'll be in Evansville, Indiana, Dayton, Ohio, and Charleston, West Virginia. And then after Thanksgiving, Grand Rapids and Royal Oak, Michigan, Kansas City, Louisville, Kentucky, St. Petersburg, Florida, Orlando, West Palm Beach, Chicago. And then we have a bunch of new dates being announced like New York City and all that good stuff. Go to fortunefeimster.com for tickets.
In general, as always, you can stream Feel Good on Netflix if you're bored and you want to watch something.
My stand-up special, Sap, is on Netflix. And my book, Can Everyone Please Calm Down, is available to buy online. I am going on my European tour, October 26th, London. And then I'm back in the States, October 28th, La Crosse, Wisconsin. Then I am going to be recording my next show.
stand-up special in Brooklyn November 4th. All right well thanks for listening to Handsome and thanks to Lil Rel Howery for his question. Guys keep it handsome. Yeah keep it handsome. Keep it handsome.
Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod.