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Chattin' with friends on the Handsome Pod Chattin' with friends on the Handsome Pod Cheers! Welcome to the Handsome Pod I'm your host Tig Notaro And my co-hosts Mae Martin And Fortune Feimster Yeah, keeping it handsome already We are unbelievably handsome The response has been thumbs up

to handsomeness. It's been so exciting. I know I'm suddenly like, what have I said on these recordings that we've pre-taped? Because now I realize people are actually going to listen. I think I've revealed a lot about my romantic life. Well, that's why you're part of the show. We know you've got good stories to bring. That's right. You already admitted to us in our

I think our second episode, we were making fun of you about your Wi-Fi not working. - Yeah. - And you were like, "Remember when I lied about my Wi-Fi?" And we're like, "We knew you were lying." - I think it was so obvious that I was like, "My Wi-Fi's out, it'll be back at 10:30 a.m. probably."

Not even probably. You said my Wi-Fi will be back up and working at 1030. And I was like, that is not true. Okay. And then now because people are listening to the podcast, then I had a meeting like about a hosting thing. Not breaking the strike, guys. Anyway. And so I was like, sorry, I'm running late for the meeting. And the woman who I've never met texted me, oh, is your Wi-Fi out? And I was like, no.

I was like, what do you mean? And she was like, I listen to the podcast. That is amazing. They're on to me now. That's hilarious. Well, Tig just was so, your response was so funny. Tig wrote, I love that May's internet will be up at exactly 1030. No internet or cable person can ever confirm or promise anything like that. And yet,

You knew exactly when your internet would be back up and working again. Yeah. I mean, and also people's wifi doesn't really go out, does it? Like these, it's not really a thing sometimes, but in this instance, we knew you had a party. But,

But Tig and I were here to live vicariously through you and your fun adventures, so it's all good. I have to tell you guys a very typical Tig story that happened also when I got back in town. Okay. That I feel like you might appreciate. So my friend...

had a game night on Saturday. And she said, you know, my son will be there who is Max and Finn's age and they're pals. And she said, come over, bring the kids and, you know, join us for game night. So I show up, bring Max and Finn. They run off and I'm looking around at the party. She had said, you'll know people.

And I thought for sure it's going to be full of stand-ups or something. It's probably so many famous people around you. Well, I truly... She and her husband are writers, directors, producers. And I just thought, oh, after I got to the party, I thought, well, this must be a bunch of writers and directors and producers. So I didn't know anybody. And I was talking to this...

And then a small group of like three people walk up next to us and everyone's attention turned to them. And, uh,

And when I turned, this woman said, she goes, oh, you look familiar. I know you. And I said, oh, my name is Tig. I do stand up. And I said, what is your name? And she said her name. And then I said, Lena? And she said, no, no, it's not Lena. It's Selena. Oh, no. Selena Gomez? Yeah.

And I was like, oh, okay, nice to meet you. And then we're all talking and whatever, and this woman leans over and she said, yeah, that's, I don't know if you know, but that's Selena Gomez. And I was like... She has like 400 million Instagram followers. Right. As you guys know, I don't really follow pop culture. And so I just kind of...

As I normally do. What's your name? She's like, oh. Right. And the fact that I looked at her face and said, Lena? Yeah. It's actually... Lena. Yeah. Well, that was close. That was close. It's really impressive. Like she... I think she actually does have the most Instagram followers in the world right now, right? She does. Yeah. That's... Well, she missed me, but I...

I was just shriveling with embarrassment where I was like, oh, gosh, I'm not familiar. I, you know, I've heard her name, but I truly if she obviously if she's sitting next to me, I don't know who she is. Maybe it was refreshing. She was like, oh, I can just be normal. Yeah. Well, what was also really amusing was and I only spoke with her for a few minutes. And then at the end of the night when I was leaving with my kids, she was across the deck, like probably. Yeah.

50 feet away and she's like goodbye Tig and I was like bye Lena bye Lena she's like sir

Follow me. Lena. So that was my embarrassing out in public moment. I really like that. It's relaxing that you live up to that reputation of like it's literally genuinely. Would you know who Selena Gomez? Absolutely. Okay. 1000%. Okay. I don't.

Hey, to each their own. Well, I just wondered if because she's a lot younger than me and Stephanie said she was Disney that maybe it was like somebody that maybe not everyone would know. The show on Hulu with Steve Martin. Yes, Only Murders in the Building. I have a story like that, but I don't know if I've told it before on the pod. I might have been... Who cares? Who cares? Yeah, I would...

Thomas can... If it's good, let's hear it again. Yeah, tell your handsome story. Yeah, it's Thomas' job. It's his problem. Too much. And I really... I don't come out of this story looking good in any way. Even better. Yeah, it's embarrassing. This is like kind of bad. So Brett Goldstein, who's my friend from England, and he gets invited to like all the good parties. And he kindly brings me as his plus one. And I love a good...

I love to see celebs. I love it. I'm not jaded at all. Like I, I like, I do too. I just can't find them ever. You're like, I wish there were some here. You're at the Oscars. You're literally surrounded by them. I'm just at a party with a bunch of production assistants.

one of them's called Merrill something. Yeah. So I go to, so it was the Oscars after party, the vanity fair party. And I was so, we were both really excited to get our little suits on. Sure. And we're heading in looking, looking pretty handsome. And I'm so pumped. First of all, doing that, like step and repeat where all the photographers take your picture. And I was like, you stand on the thing and it's all new to me. And Brett's on one side of me. And then on the other side is Christina Aguilera. Am I in,

inner like 13 year old is losing my mind and uh then i realized that all the cameras are just it's like i've parted the red sea they're all just pointing at brett and christina aguilera and none of them are pointing at me and i'm like should i still pose like do that's hilarious christina you're putting your hand in your jay i'm doing my handsome pose and um they're like brett christina oh kid can you move yeah she's like hey hey

That's my impression. Of me or Christina? Christina. So we go in and... That was... That's what...

That's what separates Christina from Brittany. It's her. It's the vibrato. Yeah. Anyway, we go in and I had said to Brett, because he's so kind. He always gets stuck talking to people for age. He'll talk to everyone. And I was like, if you get stuck, I'm going to be a really good wingman. I'll come over and rescue you. And all these, I mean, everyone's like gorgeous at this party. And so I've had a few drinks.

And I look over and he's stuck talking. He's been for ages stuck talking to this like kind of nerdy little couple. And he's been there for so long. Oh my God, was it Fortune and Jack? Yeah.

It's this awkward little couple. I mean, cheese. Yeah, they're holding Biggie, your little white dog. And so I go over and I wasn't rude at all, but I was like, hi, nice to meet you. And then I kind of whispered to Brett, do you need saving? And he looked at me like I was evil. Like he looked at me like I was such an asshole. And I was like, you've been here for, you need saving? And he goes, Mae, that's Malala. And it was Malala and her husband saying,

clearly the most interesting people at the party and like if anything they needed saving from Brett who had like cornered them oh no Tig doesn't you don't know who Malala is oh no Malala oh no Malala who is Malala Malala is world famous Nobel Peace Prize winner right I think one of the Nobel Peace Prize oh I know

know Malala? Yes. She's an activist. Oh, okay. Yes. That's not what I was expecting. You were thinking Hollywood actor. Yeah, I was thinking Hollywood. Yeah, I thought somebody else was a Malala. I know who Malala is. Gotcha, gotcha. I felt like... You're like, come on, Brett. Let's get on with it. I was like, oh, he's stuck with these awkward...

I'm sure he wants to talk to Paris. What could this woman possibly have to say that's interesting? Exactly. I felt like the most vapid. She's like, I've traveled the world and talked to every world leader in international. I'm like, Brett, Paris Hilton's mom's over there. Paris Hilton's mom. Who's hunky dory? Yeah.

Oh, man. That's not the level. The Malala is such a different level of person to talk to. I was at the Office Christmas Party premiere. This was years ago when it came out. And I had never met Jimmy Kimmel. And, you know, he's a comedian and funny. And he and his wife came up to me and were like saying, oh, you know, talking about the movie being funny and funny.

we were just finally meeting and Jax is like, come on, we gotta go, you know, the, the get a slider or whatever. And I'm like, give me a minute.

Because Jackson, she's the same way. She does not know who any famous person is. Oh, she wasn't familiar with Jimmy or Molly. Because she's like you. She does not know who anyone is, except for Madonna. That's it. Just wandering around the world. She's like, let's go. I'm like, just give me a minute. Have you guys ever been mistaken for someone else? Tom Cruise. When I posted a video of me and Brett online and someone wrote underneath, is that Ellen and Simon Cowell?

Like, I think they were in Love Field. I don't know. I kind of see it. Ellen and Simon Cowell. Were they kidding? I don't know. It was a grainy video and I could really see where they were coming from.

I don't think I've been mistaken for anyone, but I've had a couple instances where someone came up to me and said, I heard that one of you is famous, which is a very weird thing to say to someone. And they always look at Jax and they go, what do you do? And she goes, uh-uh, it's this one. Yeah.

I've had that before. I was at, I mean, of course, an Indigo Girls concert. And I was backstage, I think. And I was with the other writers from One Mississippi. And this woman came up to me, or she came up to the group. And she said, I

You know, this is a terrible story. I can't remember how it unfolded. But basically, she was facing the head writer showrunner thinking that was me, that she had heard that I was there. And then she was talking to Kate Robin. And Kate was like, I'm not...

Dignotaro and like how much of a fan could you possibly be if you're talking to the complete wrong person she goes up to a water cooler I'm a huge fan I'm a huge fan that happens to her I'm your biggest fan what is your name again yes then you're like okay

Oh my gosh, I love you, Tidge. That's what somebody said to me once. They called me Tidge. Tidge. Don't tell me, don't tell me. Tidge. No, I'm going to tell you. That's a pretty good nickname for like when you were a kid and I can, in a little baseball hat, Tidge. Yeah, that is a good name. When you're in your pigtails. When I do my animated show, it'll be Little Tidge. Yeah.

I did something I've never done before. This last week I went...

to Minnesota oh no way I've done that before but I went rock hounding I've been there with you I know we did a show in Minneapolis together yeah I went rock hounding did you guys are y'all familiar rock hound oh yeah it's I never heard of this before but my friends are rock hounders and it's when you go looking for Rock certain types of rocks the act of doing that is rock hounding

they get these rocks and then they have this machine at later time where they like, you know, saw the rock and get down to the, you know, inside of the certain rocks is like a certain kind of thing. Like up there they were looking for agates. I didn't know anything about it, but I had to Google like, what are agates? What do they look like?

Agates. And are you going to tell us what agates are? I mean, it's a type of rock. I don't. But, you know, I was picking up things and going like, I think, is this it? And she's like, no, it's granite. And I go, well. Isn't that good? They make great counters. I don't, like, what? But she's like, no, it's granite.

So it was really hard to find, but then once you saw them down or whatever you call them, polish them, it's like a really cool rock. I would really get into that. It was very zen. I actually pronounce it Agat. Agat. That was a callback to Ponties, but it didn't go well. No, I regret it.

I would find that really relaxing though. Just walking along the beach. It was so relaxing because it was up in the North shore of Minnesota. Really beautiful. It was like, we just had a four days of like with our friends where we were just like playing games at night and hanging out and listening to music and then going rock hounding during the day. It felt very like cool. And is this a career or is this a hobby?

Because I feel like other people just call it collecting rocks and then they have a rock collection. Rock hounding is the name. It's a term. And do they have another job? Oh, no. My friends... Well, I was with Natalie Maines. She was on tour. And they had like a time off between shows. And so it's a hobby for them where she was like just, you know, something to do that takes her mind off things. But as far as like people who...

do it I don't know I'm assuming there's gotta be people that do things like that for a living I feel like they're trying to make it sound a little more hardcore than it is you ain't nothing but a rock hound hound it all the time laughing

I'm really into like rocks and crystals and stuff. You might really like it. You should look it up. It's like a whole world. There's like Instagram posts, people and TikTokers who talk about it and show you what they're looking for. They show you like digging into the... Because a lot of those beaches are just rocks. It's not like sand. It's just all rocks. And you're just digging into these rocks. I know people go with like metal detectors. People go, right? And that's a big hobby. Just going down the beach. That's...

People trying to find change or bracelets. Yeah. Or Viking gold, you know. Bars of gold. Do they still make bars of gold? Yeah. Or bars of gold just...

hanging out on beaches right now? Yeah, I would assume. Is there a Goonies ship somewhere? Somewhere. I do like seeing an old school situation with the metal detector on the beach. It is funny when somebody walks by and they're like, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh. And it oftentimes does look like somebody that needs a friend. Yeah.

Yeah. I have seen, I like it when I see couples. I have seen couples metal detect together. Oh my gosh. Maybe Stephanie and I should get a metal detector and just like throw in the towel. Please, please, please. And just give up your whole lives and become. Max and Finn can go surfing and y'all can be on the beach. Looking for change. Bars of gold. Yeah.

We got 75 cents. There's a, in like Norfolk in England, I think like the 1200s, this ship sunk and it was a king's ship. I'm hazy on the details. I want to say it's, you know, William of Orange or something like that. And all this treasure sunk with him. And everyone's like, it's still there somewhere. And one of these days it's going to wash up and people still go and look for it.

And maybe that we could have an outing. Let's go to Norfolk. Let's go to Norfolk. Not Virginia. No. I'm game. You're gay? I got nothing going on. Gay. Tig says she's gay for it. I'm gay for it.

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Sometimes you just got to get back to the simplicity of things, right? Oh, man. Got to get back to, what is that? Lukenbach, Texas. You know that song? Uh-uh. Let's go to Lukenbach, Texas. It talks about getting back to the basics of life. It's an old country song. Hey, you'd really like this song. Let me tell you that. Two, three, and let's go to Lukenbach, Texas. Willie and Waylon.

and the boys. Because Mae, you went up to nature, right? Not that long ago. Yeah, I went to the desert. But I think like if we abandoned capitalism and we really went back to basics like trading, nature, I think I wouldn't thrive. I think I'm like, I'm capitalism's wet dream. Like I'm buying stuff on Amazon. I'm like, I like arcades. I like a coffee shop. I like a coffee shop. I like bright lights of the city, you know? Oh yeah, I'm not trying to get back to like, we're all like sharing provisions. Yeah.

out on the prairie. Like, I don't think I could last. I know. I would love to look up and see Fortune being like, are you going to share your provisions with me?

The word provisions has been commandeered by rich people now. Any store that's called provisions, it's like a gourmet grocery store. Right. When provisions back in the day was like, we need this to survive. And now rich people are like, do you have the goat cheese? Yeah. In the old days, it was like... It used to be, get off my canteen. Yeah.

Give me my smoked meat jerky that I'm going to chew for six months. Sometimes on the plane, I watch those Yellowstone or 1920s, whatever era movies.

Everybody on the plane watches Yellowstone and the 1800 show. Every time I am on a flight, I look over and I see Tim McGraw. I see, what's his? Kevin Costner. Kevin Costner and Harrison Ford. Yeah, all of these people. And then Faith Hill. They're all everywhere. You get hooked. When did airplanes become...

Everybody on the plane is watching Westerns. It is the craziest thing. I think the reason is because those are all on, I want to say Paramount Plus or one of those services, which you have your staples of streaming services and then there's the additional ones, right? You're already paying this much. You're not necessarily going to also get this one. And on the planes, a lot of times they have the whole season. So people are like, I'm going to get it while the getting's good.

I ain't paying that $10 for Paramount Plus. I didn't know what was happening at first. And it was like the first couple of times I was like, oh, that's so interesting. I just, on the last flight, I was, somebody was watching Tim McGraw. People love a Western right now. I love a Western. Look, I'm on planes all the time and I never seen people watching Westerns. And now it's like every person is watching a Western. Well, it's all the same family. You know, do you know that? What do you mean?

So it started with... Of course, I don't know that. On the plane? Every passenger on the plane that takes on... No, no, no. Not family of people watching it. The flagship show is called Yellowstone, right? That's the Kevin Costner one. That's connected to Tim McGraw's show? Yeah, they're all connected. Oh.

So that's why people, people, this is like, it's like the Real Housewives, but of Westerns, but scripted. I'm starting to feel like you work for Paramount Plus Fortune. You got all the inside script. You work for either the airline or... I'm working for the airline. I'm not here to tell you to get plane tickets. I'm just wandering into game nights.

I get on a plane clueless and Fortune's like, that's Selena Gomez. This is the flagship Yellowstone show. I got my finger on the pulse. You really do. So Yellowstone was a juggernaut. Is that how you say it? Juggernaut. I was not expecting to hear that word today.

It was a regular handsome podcast for Western. Yeah, explosive. It was big and everyone loved it. It's like a soap opera of what, but it's set in modern times, but it's kind of soap opera-y. Yeah. But it's cowboys and riding horses and everyone. Rock founders. Look at you, Fortune, acting that out. Everybody wanted to move to Wyoming and like, no, no, Montana. Whatever. Whatever.

Here's a gay person trying to describe freaking Yellowstone. So then the Tim McGraw one was 18-something. I'm not, I don't work for this. Is that what it's called? 18-something? 18-something. Yeah.

It was the prequel. This is where that family came from. This is how they got that land. Same creator, everything. Then that was a, what do we say? Juggernaut. Juggernaut. Do you watch these shows or you just read about them? I watched the Yellowstone one. Okay. You seem passionate. I've never seen you this animated, to be honest. I know. You need to calm down.

You're freaking out, Fortune. I'm just here to inform you guys of Westerns. You're going to have a stroke if you don't take a deep breath about this Yellowstone juggernaut. Honestly, I have no stake in this. I don't care if any of you watch it. I really miss how on planes we all had to watch the same movie on a little tiny screen. And we were all in it together and we'd be watching like

Liar, liar. Jim Carrey. And then you'd see his associate. Oh, sorry, we're back on. That one was a hit. Sorry. Oh, wait, hold on, Maeve. Hold on. Fortune has more to say about the juggernaut she doesn't have mistaken. Honestly, I'm mistaken this. I don't even have a walk-on role. Nothing. I'm not in the background. We're all on strike. Won't go to any of it. That one was a hit. So now they have a 19-something. And that's Harrison Ford.

So after the 1800 something, this is their in-laws. This is their like family. Yeah, I'm not. I mean, I don't know. Hey, watch the show or not. I didn't even care what it was next to me. I was just like...

What is with everyone watching Westerns? Now when you see it, you'll know. Now I'm going to be like, okay, this is the prequel. Now you'll know what they're watching. I just wish it was actually called 18-something. I wish it was 18-something and 19-something. You know what I'd really like is to get Tim McGraw and Faith Peel on here to ask a question. They should give us a handsome question. And they will want to now that I have...

been so passionate about their show. Laid out the entire legacy. Yeah. I did watch the first episode of theirs on the plane. And they were... Oh my God, you and these shows. They were pretty sexy, the two of them. Really? Yeah, they were handsome. Whoa. I just really feel like when I get to the credits of these shows, it's going to be executive producer Fortune Feimster and we're going to be like, I knew it. No, it's going to say walk-on role, Fortune Feimster. Yeah.

Which is, is that even a thing? I was thinking of sports like a walk on to

you know, the sports team. I have a walk on role. For some reason, when I hear walk on role, I picture fortune wandering onto the, into the shot, like dressed all Western and then kind of like glancing directly into the camera and then slowly backing away. I'm like, does anyone here need some provisions? I've got goat cheese balls. Get your ass list. Get your ass list chaps off.

The set. I'm not a producer. We're on strike. Watch it or not. I'm not promoting it. I'm not on it. I'm just telling you. Well, you know, in the beginning of movies where it gives all the like main credits. Yes.

And then it'll say introducing or and or with or whatever it says with the last person and with yours it'll be a walk-on role with fortune. Which is a made-up job that I who act acted like was a real thing. What's weird is

I who act. I who act. Have a walk on roll to Yellowstone. I've been like kind of intrigued by Yellowstone and wanting to watch it and then for some reason now I'm adamant on that. Just to rebel, I'm never going to watch it. You just don't want to watch it now? Great.

Well, I'm going to take a flight to Australia and watch all episodes of every show. Hopefully the next iteration is a bunch of gay cowboys. That would be great. Hello. Hello. Can I be a little cowboy? Well, you know, we do need a little cowboy. May, you would make a great little cowboy. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks.

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Well, speaking of musicians. Oh, that's a good transition. We were talking about Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. And Faith Hill. Who hopefully will be on the handsome pod at some time. Come on. Tim, call us. We actually have a question here from Jimmy Fallon. You know him from The Tonight Show and Saturday Night Live. He's been making the funnies for a very long time.

And Jimmy has a question for us handsome folks. Hey, handsome pod. This is Jimmy Fallon. My question is what concert would you bootleg if you had the opportunity to tape and bootleg and record a concert? Oh,

Ooh, bootleg. Bootleg. That was so big back in the day. What is this, the 70s? Wait, that was like a Dave Matthews band. That was like big. Grateful Dead. So is, this is insane, but is bootleg like... Basically recording the entire concert and like just having it available to you. This ties into the Western boot. Boot.

Leg. I'm assuming you have your recorder in your boot. Is that what it is? Oh, right. That's where it comes from. You strap your recorder in your boot. I have no idea. Yeah, because when I was in college, my friend's brother used to go to the Dave Matthews band concerts and all his super fans would sneak in

Like, it had to be a large recording device back then. Boombox. And somehow... And it would record the whole concert, and they would, like, trade...

The concerts with each other. Right, right, right. I see. That is like the Grateful Dead as well. I mean, that was a whole world of recording. Which I never got into the Grateful Dead. I didn't either. I dated someone that was like... A deadhead? A massive dead... Like toured around following the dead. I think when I was a kid, I was scared of the name. And then I think...

I think there's some superstition around Grateful Dead fans. I think there was a murder. There's some true crime thing. And I feel like Jerry Garcia even saying the words, I'm going to invite a curse on me. I'm scared of the Grateful Dead. I don't know. I don't know of this. You're scared of the Grateful Dead? Yeah. Looking it up. Grateful Dead curse. Little cowboy. Little cowboy, man. Yeah.

Cowboys scared of the Grateful Dead haunting to me and I think it's because um I used to listen to this song when I was 12 by a band called Kula Shaker and the lead singer of which was actually Hayley Mills his son remember Hayley Mills from the parent trap oh yeah yeah anyway no it was a scary of course not

There was a really scary part of the song where it went, he goes, I'm telling you, man. He said it like that. I'm telling you, man. Jerry was there. You could feel his presence everywhere. And it haunted me. I was like 11 or 12. And it was like that part in Thriller where the guy's voice comes in and he was talking about Jerry Garcia's ghost. Yeah. I'm telling you, man. Jerry was there. You could feel his presence everywhere. Yeah.

I haven't thought about that in so long. Wow. Yeah. I just Googled Grateful Dead curse and I'm not coming up with anything. I'm realizing it might have been all just... It might have been a different band. My 11-year-old brain hearing that creepy song and being like, dead, grateful. What? But maybe I'm wrong. We do have social media places where people can... If we aren't sure on something, we have an Instagram, a Facebook page, a Twitter page, Instagram.

You can go on there and give us the info. Do we have a Friendster page? Do we have a LinkedIn page?

If you want to work for the handsome pod-- I would like to know if there is a Grateful Dead curse, I think. May wants to know this. A bootlegged concert. I did bootleg a concert once. -What? -Oh, yes. -Yes. -Tig. -Tell us. -May, Little Cowboy. -That's a nice new nickname. -I think somebody's got a new nickname. -Little Cowboy. -Little Cowboy.

I went to a Pretenders concert. Wow. I am a massive Chrissy Hine fan. She is the lead singer of the Pretenders. I was so excited. I don't even know...

How I recorded that. Oh, I think I had one of those little tiny where you have the mini cassette that goes in the little recorder. Yeah, it was the mid 80s. And I brought that to record. And I also brought my camera. I snuck in a lot of stuff. Were you scared you were going to get caught or you were right in the middle of it all? I don't know if I was terribly scared like you get. Picture risk taker. Yeah, I can't really picture you terribly scared.

Tigger's like, what? What? I'm a fan. I'm here to bootleg. It's me, Tidge. Got a recorder in my cowboy boot. Get out of Tidge's way. We got Tidge. We got little cowboy. Tidge is actually a good Western name. Tidge and little cowboy. Well, well, well, if it ain't Tidge.

Yeah, so I recorded the Pretenders concert. To watch it later or to sell it? Well, not watch it. It was the mid-80s. It was just audio. It was just to go home, lie in bed, and listen to the concert all over again when I got home. Okay. Because also then, it wasn't at your fingertips, like all these...

you know, like it is now, like you can see like all these artists concerts on a, you know, they eventually film them and they're up on a platform somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, a lot of the concerts I would say, yeah, there already are like, like Woodstock or the Beatles on the roof of Abbey road or, or those types of things. But what's coming to me, I don't know if this counts as a concert, but like Jesus's sermon on the Mount, if I, if you could get that, yeah,

Because I think he was a real guy. And I'm just curious about, he must have been very charismatic. I don't know how I feel about him. He was great at karaoke. He was great at karaoke. But just to be able to have some footage of that would be pretty tough. He was the original little cowboy. Oh, famously.

Yeah. So you're saying if you could go, if you could be back in time and record that. Yeah. That would be pretty cool. Also, or Bette Midler playing in the bath houses in New York in like the 60s. That would be. But then I think the guys in the towels would be like, don't film us. Well, maybe just the audio. Or maybe they'd be like, hey, little cowboy.

Bring that camera. Bring that camera in here. I didn't even think about going back in time. I didn't either. Well, Cowboy broke all the rules here. Cowboy just broke all boundaries. I mean, well, that would have... I was trying to think. I was like thinking it would suck, but that was all documented. Yeah. Yeah.

You want to see all of the most famous rockumentaries. I went to see it when I was a teenager. They played the Woodstock documentary and all the concert footage in a big movie theater. And everyone was smoking weed in the movie theater. And I was really transported. I was watching it. And then I actually cried because I was so sad I was not there. And that I was born too late for all the coolest stuff. That was the weed, but... Yeah, maybe. For sure. For sure.

Do you feel like all the cool stuff is done? Sometimes I do feel that. I don't know. I don't feel that connected to a lot of

I am like all the stuff I'm a real passionate fan of is in the past, but I guess that's common, right? It's all my parents' music. It's Pink Floyd and the Beatles and Dylan. Well, it feels like back then people were more unified on liking certain things. Like not everyone was into Woodstock, but so many people were, but now we're all fragmented. Yeah. Right? So some people, they're into this band or this band or this band, but they're not all like,

eyes on this particular thing except for tay swift maybe and there was a real counterculture then tay swift that's what i call her little tay that is little tay little cow tay tay little tay she's the only one bringing all of us together and keeping our economy afloat yeah she's my president i saw a card the other day with a license plate lil gassy

and i was like that's a great rap name little gassy did it have a bunch of buffer stickers on the back of it yeah i think it did i think is that your car fortune no but i've seen that car if that's your car call in to 1-800 handsome we don't have that number but we should get it we should uh thomas can you look and see if we can get that number

If I could bootleg, I mean, it was also documented, but I would want to bootleg the in-between takes conversations would have been...

when everyone's saying we are the world oh my god all of those since may said that we can go back in time yeah wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall like get that audio yeah because of all those conversations because who was that bono oh so many people stevie wonder bruce springsteen yeah stevie wonder cindy lopper lionel richie paul mccartney um

Michael Jackson. Yeah. Gosh, who else? Harry Belafonte. Kenny Rogers. I just want to hear what Kenny Rogers said. What is your favorite? Well, there's We Are the World. And then there's also the Christmas. Do They Know It's Christmas? Yeah. And I wrote about that in my book of how...

It always bothered me that there is a line in that song where it says, well, tonight, thank God it's them instead of you. And I was like, that is so rude. That's awful. To just be like, yeah, to be like, dear God, thank you so much for...

for making them starve and for making sure that I'm okay. Yeah. The whole thing, do they know it's Christmas is questionable. What if you got the, we are the world footage of the behind the scenes takes and they were just talking about the timeline of the Yellowstone series. They were just arguing. Don't get me started. They're being like, fortune, sit down, sit down, take a deep breath. She's standing up. Yeah.

Thomas just put a bunch of names. He's so fast. Bob Dylan. See, Bob Dylan was there. Bruce Springsteen. Steve Perry. Oh, I love Journey. Oh, Steve Perry. Hello. Tina Turner. Come on. Mm-hmm.

- I would like a bootleg concert of Tina Turner. - Oh yeah. - At the height of Tina Turner's fame. - I'd even take it at the lowest of Tina Turner's fame. - Take her worst show. - Which is non-existent. - I mean, I would take Tina's, like bottom of the barrel Tina. - She's got a strep throat, she's got a sprained ankle. - I am a sucker for a strong female voice. Like I just love great female singers. - Me, me, me, me.

Bootlegging now. I'd love an Adele concert. Oh, yeah. Celine Dion even. Give me Celine. Hello. Kelly Clarkson. You know what I don't need to see? You know what I don't need to see? I'd love to hear Celine sing. I don't need to see her dance. You also don't need to hear her talk.

There's these, she does a lot of big, fast footwork, little steps. Yeah. Well, she feels a little robotic. Yes. Well, I don't think God blessed her with the rhythm, but he blessed her with the greatest voice. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, baby Jesus, whose sermon on the mount we're going to listen to on the bootleg copy of Jane. What if we got a question from her? Oh, my God.

We won't now. I went to a Celine Dion concert by myself because I love her that much. And Jax was like, go have fun. I was in a relationship. I'm still in that relationship. But she was like, no thanks. You should have called me. And I did do the bootleg record on my iPhone for the acoustic part because I was like, oh, this I can't get this online.

But I can get it here on my bootleg version on my iPhone. But Celine's voice is amazing, pitch perfect, never misses a note. And then she starts talking. She goes, I got a letter from Ryan Reynolds. And I thought, ooh la la, Ryan Reynolds wants to get with me. And I go, oh, no, no, no. Please don't do this.

Were you standing there alone crying at My Heart Will Go On? Oh, girl, yeah. I mean, I am a, I stan Celine, as the young ones say. What is your favorite Celine song? Um, gosh, there are many. I love A New Day. And I love, there were nights when, or there's days and nights where so, and I'm through.

I don't know lyrics. It's a song. It's pitch perfect. It's all coming back to me now. Yeah, that's the one. I like I Drove All Night. Oh, yeah. I drove all night. But that's the Christina Aguilera cover of it. That's true. I don't do the best impression of Celine singing, but the passion is there. Put her speaking voice.

equally passionate for Celine as I am Yellowstone and 18 and 19 something. Well, if you're ever solo heading to Celine, give me a ring a ding. You know what? I will. You and little cowboy. I'll drive home.

You and little cowboy are coming with me. That's right. And my mom, she'll be there. Yeah, we got to take your mom because your mom loves her. Yeah, but often my mom will reveal that she loves something that she's never mentioned ever in her life. And it turns out she's like devoutly passionate about like Lord of the Rings. Gandalf.

You don't want me to do any more impressions? Yeah, what else you got in your repertoire? That's why I'm here. My ring, my pretty. My ring, my pretty. That's the Wizard of Oz. Ooh, do your best Toto. Toto just would sit there in Dorothy's arms. I like when Gandalf goes, I'm melting. I'm melting.

You know, I heard some trivia once that I thought was really interesting about The Wizard of Oz. What is that? I guess it's not that interesting, but I always look for it and I find it. Her hair is different lengths during the movie. Like very glaringly different lengths. I never noticed that. Watch it again. I gotta say, I kind of feel about Wizard of Oz the way I do about Grateful Dead. Like it's a little haunting because I've done that Pink Floyd thing where you press play and

The roar of the MGM lion you press play on Dark Side of the Moon, the album, and it syncs up, the Pink Floyd album, and it's really eerie. Have you done that, Fortune? Mm-mm. I don't think I've heard of this. Have you not heard of it? I don't think so. Fortune. Fortune.

I was watching an 18-something. But it does kind of fall apart at a certain point in the movie. But like for a good chunk. Like the whole first time you play the album and then it's when you have to repeat the album and then it falls apart. Man, it's so haunting. We should do that. It sings up pretty good.

Great. Like exact. Yeah. Like, wow, that's weird. Like exact. Like she's when she's balancing and then she falls in the pig pen. It's like balanced on the biggest wave you race towards early. And then when you see you hear bells, when you see the bells on the bike of Elmira Gulch. And then when she puts her ear up to the tin man's chest, you hear the heartbeat. Oh, was this a coincidence? Apparently, but something is going on. What?

We gotta get to the bottom of it. Well, let's Google curse of Pink Floyd. I don't know. I've never heard that. Also, you know, it never happens, I guess, because people don't really buy vinyl anymore. Well, no, there's a whole new wave of people buying vinyl. But the whole playing the vinyl backwards and hearing the devil, you know, the devil rarely is recorded in vinyl anymore. Did you not know about that? I do not know of this. Well, you're off in...

like Celine Dion land. We're in rock and roll land. Yeah, play that backwards. Like in the, you can hear the devil say, bury my body. Talking about Paul McCartney, right? That was where Paul is dead came from. Fortune. Fortune, you need to pull your head out of Celine land.

You gotta turn off the intro. I would rather listen to the Canadian princess, Celine, than listen to the devil. Yeah, I don't, I've never heard of this, but now I don't think I still want to. Nothing's changed.

Y'all have done that? You've heard that yourself? Yeah. Oh. I haven't. I just remember in the 70s, there were always like lawsuits. Yeah. Oh, really? About the devil? Oh, that was during the satanic panic or whatever. Well, I do have a record player from Urban Outfitters I could pull out of the closet.

I have a record player as well. All right. Let's get together, have some whiskey and play our records backwards. I really like all things like that, like hidden messages and things. And in Disney movies, there's a lot of those, right? Like there's... Oh, right. Yeah. In the Lion King. The Little Mermaid doesn't have some things? Yeah. The Priest has a boner. Isn't there like a penis somewhere? Yeah. Fortune. Listen. Watch your language. Read the room. Sorry. Dong. Dong.

Thank you. Thank you. I think one of the, like, the, what do you call them? Oh, under the sea. The reef or whatever is in the shape of a penis, I think. Fortune. You did it. Sorry, wiener. You said it. Thank you. People are turning the show off left and right. I know. There's a number of listeners probably not into dongs. Fortune. Fortune.

We're going to have to put a disclaimer at the top of this episode. Well, I'm just telling you, Mae brought it up. I was just... Brought what up? That Disney has some of these hidden things. It does. Like what? Like in The Lion King. I just said penis. Fortune. What was in The Lion King? He like, when I say he, I mean Simba. He flops down and some leaves go in the air and they spell out sex.

- It's so-- - Mae! - Sorry, fornication. - But wait, is that really happening? 'Cause it's like, why? - I know. - Why? - Just these bored animators just sitting there being like-- - Yeah. - Yeah. - Like, let me sneak some fun things in there. - Little pranksters. - Yeah, Thomas is Googling penis right now. - He's like, what is--

But why do you think Judy Garland kept messing with her hair and making it long then short then long then short? Was she being a little prankster too? Were they filming at one point and then took a break and then filmed again later? Of course. I don't know why. No, it was the 1800s. It was 18 something. 18 something. Didn't she get harassed by like the Lollipop Guild? What? Did she what? I swear to God, I thought there was an interview somewhere where she in an interview said that the actors playing the Lollipop Guild...

We're like hitting on her and being inappropriate and putting her putting their hand up her dress and stuff. That is ruined. I swear to God. The Wizard of Oz. You've just ruined the Wizard of Oz for so many people. Listen, we're all bursting each every one of us are bursting each other's bubbles. But not nearly as bad as you saying penis so many times on the show.

The idea of the Lollipop Guild putting their hand up Dorothy's dress is so bleak. I could be wrong. Don't quote me on it, but Google it. I could have sworn she said... I'm not going to Google that. My kids walk in, I'm like... That is... Just a minute. But you know that stuff also is like urban legend, right? Some of that stuff is like someone said it and it just keeps going down. It could be also an urban legend. Well, that's also like that Phil Collins song.

In the air tonight. No. That in the air tonight. Like I can feel it coming. I can feel it in the air tonight. So just like that. Fortune?

Oh, it was on that Tom Cruise movie. I don't know. What's the urban legend there? Well, there's a lot of different stories around what that song is about. And what I heard, you know how, oh, if I saw you drowning, I would not lend a hand. Oh, that's a lyric in there? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. The story I heard, which is one of, I think, hundreds of urban legends about this song is that when

When Phil Collins was a kid, he and his friend were out on a lake and some stranger drowned his friend. And so he wrote the song about the guy that drowned his friend. Whoa. And then I had heard that also cannot be true. That Phil Collins, all the years later, invited the guy that killed his friend to...

to his concert, sang the song, and then put the spotlight on the murderer. That can't be true. Of course it's not. Of course it's not. But do we think that the drowning part's true? I truly don't know. I've never heard this. I feel like the first thing you gotta do, you gotta call the police. No, first you write a song, then you call the police. That's what's freaking me out. He writes the song. No, first you call the police, the band. You call...

You call the police, you say, something has happened with Phil Collins. Well, I hope that story is not true. We're spreading a lot of false. A lot of urban legends are coming out of today's episode. Do not come here for facts, folks. We're handsome, but we're not factual. I started a rumor today that Judy Garland is a prankster and she kept cutting her hair long, then short, then long, then short. Obviously, it was a continuity error. Honestly, I talk about penises too much.

Fortune. Fortune. God. What a day. Well, should we hear what Jimmy Fallon has to say? What his answer is? Yeah. The answer is the Doobie Brothers. Because.

Because that was the famous episode of what's happening where rerun got caught bootlegging a concert and the Doobie Brothers actually came to his house and confronted him Wow, I would not have guessed the Doobie Brothers, but I like the Doobie Brothers. I like what's happening. I like rerun Yeah Told you don't know lyrics

I really love the Doobie Brothers. Let the music play. It's kind of, I mean, if you're a mega fan of theirs and you bootleg the show, kind of the ideal thing is they show up at your house. Then you're like, look, I'm sorry, but you want to come in and smoke a Doobie? Yeah. Brothers? My favorite Doobie Brothers song was... She came from somewhere back in... Is that the Michael McDonald days? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I saw Michael McDonald in concert. You did? Yeah, I was at like a park in Columbus, Ohio. And I was like, this is not a typical concert I would have purchased a ticket for, but I'm here and I'm loving it. He came from somewhere back in a long ago. Oh, you know what?

My God. Do you want to know what my favorite... Thomas, can you pull this song up? Michael McDonald and Patti LaBelle. That duet. Oh. On My Own. I love this song so much. Fortune, please. Pretending I'm not near you. Fortune, for the love of God, Cork it. Thomas... Oh, yes. Yes! Wow.

Too many times said it was forever. God, I didn't realize that this was with Michael McDonald. Oh, yeah. My favorite part is when he comes in, he seems like he's been asleep for hours and he's startled. Listen to this. She's just singing there like in bed and he's asleep. So many promises never been spoken. Is it my turn? Hello? Good morning.

I love that duet so much. Wow. Look at that. It's my favorite duet. My favorite duet. We got to make each other all mixtapes or something because there's big holes in my knowledge. It seems like we have different areas. Yeah, we have different tastes of music. And you're real stuck in the Canadian pop world that nobody's heard of, Mae. Oh, because of Love Song by Sky.

Yeah. Some people commented on our Handsome Pod Instagram account that they couldn't believe that you and I, Tig, did not know the song.

Well, we're not Canadian. I also had a friend say to me, oh, your podcast came out. It was so cool. All this time you were talking about it, I thought it was the Hanson podcast and it was about the Hanson brothers. That also would be good. Well, look at that. I mean, I learned a lot today. I learned a lot. Look at that. All of us. I learned some things about myself too. What'd you learn? I didn't know I was so passionate about...

westerns and penises yeah yeah why don't you go lie down take the rest of the day off and pull yourself together my legs up and chill baby i gave y'all everything i had today you sure did

And I learned that you can create walk-on roles to TV shows. You can do anything you want, Fortune. Yeah. Yeah, we should all be doing more walk-on roles, I think. Yeah, I wasn't initially hired for this role, but someone got hurt, and now I'm a walk-on. I'm here, I'm queer, and I'm walking on.

All right. Well, thank you to Jimmy Fallon, Mr. James Fallon, for his question that he submitted. Thank you. Yeah. I've never met Jimmy Fallon. I hope to one day. Oh, you haven't. Well, I'll talk to him about the Doobie Brothers. Yeah. Now I have an in. Well, he sure loves music. I don't know if he knows all your weird Canadian music, but, you know, whatever. He's never heard of Celine Dion, weirdly.

- All right, well, Fortune, May. - Tig, Fortune. - May, Tig. - Wonderful seeing you again. - Tomas. - Everyone. - Do you have anything that you would like to promote? - Yes, after Thanksgiving, I'm bringing my standup tour to Grand Rapids and Royal Oak, Michigan, Kansas City, Missouri. Then after Christmas, I'm coming to St. Petersburg, Orlando, Jacksonville, and West Palm Beach, Florida. In the new year, I just added a ton of new dates.

Eugene, Oregon, Vancouver, Burlington, Vermont, D.C., Red Bank, New Jersey. I'm coming to Europe, going to London and Amsterdam the end of January. Added a second show in Denver, Colorado. Lots of places, Philadelphia, Wisconsin, Chicago, Houston, Texas. Go to fortunefeimster.com for tickets. I'm going to be working out brand new material at Largo in Los Angeles on December 6th.

and then Dynasty Typewriter on January 19th. Go to tignotaro.com for all ticket and show information and, uh,

See you there. I have live shows. I'm doing improv on the 21st of November at UCB with Alana Johnston and Kayla Lorette, who's like one of my oldest friends and so funny. Then on the 29th, I'm doing an Ask Us Anything show with Alana and Stephanie Allen at Dynasty Typewriter. And then in December, I'm at Largo twice on December 2nd and December 11th doing like big holiday extravaganzas.

It was so fun talking with y'all today. So fun. So fun talking. And don't forget, keep it handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod.