Troll 2 (w/ Adam Scott)
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This lasagna was so cheesy. My plate was filled with saucy slices. Then a flimsy store brand plate. No, no, no, no. Ruined it. Next time, get Dixie Ultra Plates. Three times stronger than the leading store brand 10-inch paper plate. Dixie, make it right. Put down your devil drink, tighten your belts, and summon your dead grandpa. Because we're going to Goblin Town. We saw a troll too, so you know what that means. Now it's time for...

Hello, people of Earth, and hello, people of the Internet. Welcome to How Did This Get Made's virtual livestream in conjunction with MoveOn.org. We have a great show for you tonight.

This movie in 1990, this film was released into the world and there is a lot of debate about this film. Is it the best worst movie of all time? It's a sequel to a film called Troll, but there's no relation to that film by director, characters or actors.

anything. This movie was called Goblin. Now, if you want to know what the premise of Troll 2 is, I kind of pulled this off the internet here. I thought this would be good. Wikipedia says...

When young Joshua learns that he'll be going on vacation with his family to a small town called Nilbog, he protests adamantly. He is warned by the spirit of his deceased grandfather that goblins populate the town. His parents, Michael and Diana, dismiss his apprehensions but soon learn to appreciate their son's warnings. Guided by his grandfather's ghost, will Joshua and his family stand a chance

and fighting off these evil beings. That is the premise of the film. I mean, perfectly said, really. I think this movie is really an expose. It really highlights the villainy of veganism. Shows you that that's really what this movie is getting at. That vegetarians need to be defeated.

And you know what? To break down this film, to get into all the nitty gritty goodness, and I don't even know if that's quite possible, I have to introduce my two co-hosts. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jason Manzoukas. Yes! Yes! Yes! Let's go! Here we go! Wow! What's up, jerks? Yes! Jason Palacios.

Troll 2, where do you fall? I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not going to lie to you. Never seen this movie. We have just watched Troll. I watched this entire movie and was flummoxed that this was not a sequel to the movie we watched. This, I believe, is a movie called Goblins. Yes. That is all it is. There's no troll in this goddamn movie. No, it's aggressively troll-less. What the fuck is going on?

Oh, man, that gave me a panic attack. I kept being like, where's Harry Potter? Where's all this stuff that I know is troll? No, yeah, there is nothing from that first film. But that first film was such a moderate success. They were like, we have to call this

Troll 2. Like we got to. Yeah, this just reeks of they had a script for something called Goblins and we're like, fuck it. It's called Troll 2. Now put it out. Go for the irony of it is I believe that Troll 1 was a film shot in Italy based in America and Troll 2 is a film made by Italians in America.

So that's about it. You're telling me everybody in this movie was Italian? No. And that's why the performances were like this? They learned everything phonetically? There's so much to get into. But first, let's talk about a woman who on previous episodes have said, we got to talk about the color green. And I'm sure it will also come up here tonight. Miss June Diane Raphael. Welcome, June. Hi. Hi. Hi, Paul. Hi, Jason. Hi.

Hi, everyone. Hi, viewers and guests alike. I...

The first thing I want to say, and then we will get into it and we will start the show. But I I know move on has so much work to do across these United States. But after watching this movie, I realized we have a lot of work left. You know what? It's starting to feel like we're all living in Nilbog. Yeah. Like we have there's more. There's a lot more meat on the bone.

Yeah, we think we're through it. And then this and then we see something like this. And I'm like, God, I'm never going to get out of doing this goddamn show. I mean, look, I just took a little peek at that new Dennis Quaid movie, Reagan, that came out. I'm like, wow, they're still making them. They're still making movies. He did a biopic about the Australian breakdancer.

Rick Gunn? Yes. Yeah. Rick Gunn? I have to say something and I want to be... You brought an Adam of Forest Dance. We got to introduce Adam. Bring him on. Bring him on. Bring him out. All right. I'll bring him out. A biopic about the Australian breakdancer starring Dennis Quaid. Oh, my God.

Ladies and gentlemen, Adam Scott and How Did This Get Made All-Star back on the show. Adam, you were so missed in our Fast 10 discussion. You were away shooting and we have missed you on the show many times. So we're so excited to have you here for such a big, big night, a big show. So thank you for being here with us. Well, thank you for having me, you guys. You know, I thought I'd seen Troll 2 and then I sat down the other day to actually watch it and went through and

I own it. It is on all of my devices. As it turns out, it's just been sitting there for like 15 years. So I realized this movie. I realized I actually watched the documentary Best Worst Movie, which is fantastic and made by the boy in the movie. Joshua. Yeah, Michael. Let's just call him the boy. Okay, well, the boy from the movie.

And he made an amazing documentary, which I think everyone needs to see after you're done with this episode because it's really beautiful. And that's what I realized I'd watched. I'd never actually watched the film. So, wow. It really, and by the way, they work in either order. I love the idea that people are watching that documentary and then there's going to be people who probably listen to this podcast but don't actually get to the source material.

We will play plenty of clips tonight because I think this is a film worthy of clips. I'll be honest, just watching the trailer right now as you played it, Paul, that's essentially most of the movie. We want that trailer had to be seven minutes long. Yeah.

It's like that trailer plus just like an hour and a half of shoe leather. And that's the movie. They show us every bit of travel. If they're going from here to there, you're seeing every step of the way, every jog. We watched that kid stretch before he jogs into town. We really did watch that teen boy stretch. This movie, what's so interesting about it too is like,

You know, it's a low budget film and it's the first time I've ever seen driving scenes where they're not like on a process trailer, like they really are driving. So the actors can't really take their eyes off the road. Like they're what he's trying to do is lines over his shoulder. But he he those eyes are like, we'll crash the car. But I'm so excited. I'm so excited tonight. Hold on one second. Oh, my.

Wait, no, Paul. Don't drink it. Oh, I just had it. Was this here? Okay, well, I'll get back to it in a second. It does feel like everything in the movie is taking place during like when shamrock shakes are being sold. Like it was the green was so green as to make me feel as though it was part of like Irish mythology or something.

Well, you know what I have to say? This is what's really weird about the movie. We're going to get into so much. This is it. This is what's weird about it right now? And the only thing. It's the only thing that's weird and struck me. They are so hungry. And I'd love to talk about the time frame of the movie and how long the movie takes place over. But they have not eaten anything.

And the food that is presented to them, that the goblins present to them, is so disgusting looking. So gross. So gross. It is so, it's beige and then green. It's like the worst supermarket cakes that you would ever see. It's all like, yeah. Cakes and puddings and just goo everywhere.

And they're like, it's delicious. Everything has writing on it. Everything has writing on it. Enjoy or this or that. Everything. A lot of piping. It feels like, yeah, a lot of piping, a lot of amateur piping. And everything feels like it's also on an episode of like, is this cake? Yes. You know? Well, let me tell you this. We got so much to unpack. Let's get into it. This movie starts with.

I mean, really, it reminded me of a princess bride. I mean, this is like a Peter Falk. I feel like Grandpa Seth is even doing Peter Falk's cadence. You know? Yes. The weirdest thing is like when it, you know, it starts off and you see this like little Pied Piper running in the forest, but

the weird thing is, is like the boy interrupts the story and the grandpa's like, listen, and then a closeup on the grandfather's lips, which I've never seen done when it's not like supposed to be sexy. Like I've only lips when it's not a grandpa's lips. Oh, and he's not, it's like, as if these are the most important words. It's also, it's a closeup on his lips sideways. It's not like a closeup like this. It's like,

And bearded as well. It's very weird. Let me ask a question about Grandpa Seth real quick. And I actually am going to say I'm going to be very honest and open and vulnerable right now. And just say, yeah, I'm going to be very, very open and speak my truth, which is that I don't quite understand the difference between a goblin and a troll. Oh, June, I'm so happy you said this. I don't quite know what the difference is between the two. Molly?

Our, our amazing producer, Molly thought that this might come up and she pulled something that I have access to called the folklore creatures. Chi Chi. So if you'd like to know, I could tell you by definition,

what a goblin and a troll is. Or you can guess. I don't know that I want to know. The FCCS? Yeah, you've got one of those. I don't... I guess, well, let me ask you this. Let me ask a follow-up question. Because, well, what I was going to ask about Grandpa Seth was I couldn't understand throughout the movie why Grandpa Seth had taken us through this entire journey. And why...

they were intent on doing this Airbnb exchange and living the life of farmers and their ancestors on the land and why grandpa Seth was foregrounding that. It was he a troll or a goblin at some point. And why did the goblin, why did the troll goblin say that he'd been in, he was in hell? Like,

Like, I didn't understand. I didn't understand what the trolls and the I guess trolls, because let's be honest, we're going to say troll, but there is no mention of trolls in the entire movie. It's just goblins. So I didn't understand how the goblins were related to like the idea of heaven or hell. They seem to be folkloric beings from fairy tales, but are somehow snapping people to and from heaven.

Hell? But Grandpa Seth literally says this. He's like almost dying right before he tosses that Molotov cocktail lightning bolt at the vegan preacher. He says, I wasn't really in hell. Like he's just like, I don't believe that. By the way.

The rules for seeing grandpa for grandpa appearing aren't aren't clear and or consistent. Like sometimes it's the mirror. But the first time we see him in a mirror isn't until like 40 minutes into the movie happens twice. And then he looks into another mirror to try and summon him. And he doesn't appear again in a mirror for the rest of the movie.

When we introduce you to him, he's in a chair, a rocking chair. And then sometimes he's like hiding behind the outside of a window. Why is he in the house? Sometimes he is taking the place of another actual corporeal human being, i.e. the hitchhiker.

Like when Joshua says, I'm going to throw up, I'm going to throw up. I'm sorry. When the boy, when the boy says, I'm going to throw up, I'm going to throw up. He gets out of the car and he runs directly to the, to the hitchhiker. And it's just grandpa Seth's face. Um, he's having like this. I was deeply worried for the boy.

Well, I was worried for the boy, too, because of the way that our parents were handling the boy's grief. Oh, June. Oh, man. I really, you know, and especially the mom who I could talk about for roughly the next two and a half hours. Yes, indeed. You know, both of those parents, both of those parents. I also need to go ahead, please. Well, just quickly, I need to talk about the reveal of dad.

I need to talk about his pajamas. I need to talk about dad's pajamas and how they are never, they are constantly being more and more unbuttoned. And color up on PJs. For every $50,000 we raise, I will unbutton one more button until I'm full dad pajama. He has his leg up too. It is such a sexy pose. It's going to take like $350,000 to get that low.

He is taken. He is in such a state like he looks like he is ready, like ready for love. I mean, his wife looks like she has been already possessed by the goblins. Like one hundred percent to the end. She definitely feels like it also definitely feels to me as though the dad, the actor is constantly being like, I think we've been fooling around.

You know, and then they're like, no, no, no, that's not what this is. And then he's like, between takes, because there's the first scene where he's wearing, there's two scenes where he's wearing pajamas. The first scene, there's two different angles. And in one, he's buttoned up. And in the other, he's buttoned completely open. Like he's playing the scene his way, which is...

You know, it's like when Jeff Bridges said to the Coen brothers on The Big Lebowski before every take, do you think the dude burned one in the car on the way over? This guy's like, I think we were just doing it. A thousand percent. But he has all these ideas, but then the camera turns on and he freezes up and does what he did in the movie.

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Here's the thing. The opening line of the dad really does feel like you're watching the worst improv scene of all times. Like, yeah, okay, great. So we'll do business and we'll make sure that that thing is business is done. All right, great. We'll see you. Okay. I was actually obsessed with that because

I kind of was concerned about that business because it is so vague and they're going on this vacation. Now they are also, this family fascinates me because they are in grief.

We have learned. Did the grandpa die? Six months. Okay. Six months. But for some of us, that's no time. I agree. He seems like a big part of their lives. Grandpa Seth seems like he was a big part of their lives. They're dealing with it differently. And his daughter literally don't give a shit except for the little boy. His daughter is getting jacked. The daughter is getting jacked. I'm assuming in order to fight death.

Right. Wait, I want to talk about the daughter. I just want to. She has so much weight. She has so much exercise equipment in her room. And she's lifting weights. They cut away for like 20 minutes and come back. She's still pumping iron. Same exercise. Only upper body work. Only upper body. And again, camera lingers where? The sexiest part.

The neck, the like that part of the neck that just right. Yeah, right there. It's the nape of the neck. Well, that's the sweat collector. When you line back on the bench, that's that's where you get it. That's a shot glass full of sweat, Paul. I mean, I've talked about cum gutters before. I don't know if that's sweat gutters up top. I'll tell you this. I laughed the hardest when it was poster of Johnny Depp, poster of Tom Cruise.

Image of a Smurf. Yep. You know what? I actually, I would thought about that later on when she's having her conversation with Elliot, the boyfriend, Elliot. And she's, first of all, she switches gears so quickly with him. I couldn't, I couldn't follow where she was, but poor guy. But at some, at a certain point in that bedroom scene with them, with him,

She does seem to want to have sex with him. Oh, big time. I think. Okay. Can we watch clip two? Can we watch clip two and just see it? Just like, let's enjoy it for a second. Here we go. This is the scene. I like you, but my family doesn't like you. They say you're good for nothing and they spend way too much time with your friends. Oh, but I swear I never see them.

Elliot, how long is this going to take? We're sick of waiting for you. Don't you want to come to Tanino's with us, Holly? Don't you want some pizza? Man, these are cute. These are cute. Hey! Do you see? What's wrong with having friends? Nothing, if you want to remain a virgin for life. You take them to bed with you, too. And I don't believe in group sex.

Half empty.

Yeah. He said it, Adam. Half empty. I mean, half empty is... Let me ask this question, though, Paul. So this is a big storyline throughout the movie. And the fact that he wants to be with friends, that he has too many friends. This is a big issue for them. And...

I couldn't help but wonder, number one, why do they truly why do they care that he has friends? Yeah. Why does that? Doesn't that? Well, that's that would seem to me to be like, oh, he's got a group of friends. Like he they're social. And then they're being shown to be demonstrably bad, which they are not goofy kids. They're kind of nerds. So why does that?

he have those friends around him all the time. This is, I think there's a little bit of gay panic in here. Yes. Because she's like, you are a homo because you're hanging out with your friends. But also her dad, her dad is, his biggest criticism is that he's always hanging out with those friends.

That's the reason the parents don't like him either, is that he's not making her the priority. I'm not sure what it is. It doesn't make any sense because honestly, Elliot and his friends seem like perfectly lovely doofuses. They're knuckleheads. They're real knuckleheads. Poor Arnold, who gets turned into a tree. Ha ha ha!

cut down with a chainsaw. Arnold deserved it. Arnold deserved it. My favorite scene. We'll talk about it when we get there. I wish the movie was about them. I wish the movie was about the four idiots in the RV. Where'd they get the RV? So many questions about that RV. I wish I had 15 minutes of them just finding and getting the RV. But Jason, I actually, but I thought at a certain point in the movie, I was like, oh,

They already had this RV. They've. Yeah. Because. But yet they said that they kept them waiting 90 minutes, but then they're ahead of them. So the boyfriend clearly left earlier than them. No one's communicating anything like the boyfriend. Then he does want to be with her. He just forgot to tell her that he left early because they're on the side of the road seeing them.

It makes like I can't figure out if this guy's a dick or if he's not like normally these movies, they let you know one way or the other, like Adventures of Babysitting when it's like Bradley Whitford. You know, we know he's kind of a bad dude, you know, here like we don't know. But the dad, I think he does have that RV because the dad sees the RV from like three quarters of a mile away and is like, it's your boyfriend with his no good friends. Like it is horrible.

Super far. So he knew knows exactly who it is. And I was wondering, as far as the gay panic goes, are they trying to infer that these guys because they wake up in the bed, the two guys are like in a small bed without clothes on waking up in the morning together? Are they actually trying to infer?

infer that they are actually gay together? No, right? They're just trying to... No, because they're also trying to deflower people because when they hear that scream, they're like, uh-oh, you did it. Girls...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're so into this town full of like the town of 25 people. 25 that has a sheriff. But but there is I was just going to say there's one moment that did make me think that the guys were fucking each other in the RV because. Right.

Because it's when she shows up around the corner of the RV, Holly, the daughter, and she's walking and she's big mad and she's going to say her piece. And he comes out of that RV looking. There's no other way to say it.

but freshly fucked. Yes. He's looking disheveled and hiding something behind there. I did not know how to read that scene. You saw it too, Adam? 100%. I thought these guys were all fucking each other in the RV. Interesting. This is an open time. This is the 80s. People are trying stuff. They're having fun. We don't have to label it. It's Polly. It's just fun.

fun it's a polycule in there that's wonderful if you can't find a girl you sleep with your friend we're not judging here we're doing vacation swaps right we love it we love it listen if the rvs are rocking don't come a knocking

By the way, just just to go back to them going on this fucking trip in the first place, they go they want to go. The dad really wants to go to their ancestors or farmers and peasants, just like our ancestors. But the people who they're doing the house swap with are complete strangers. Right. They aren't.

family? Am I right about that? No. This is where our family... They seem to be, like, stymied, again, when they realize that the people have not left the town and are still there. I guess my question is this. Why is it so complicated for these goblins? Like, it's like they're setting up so much systems. Like, just throw the spear, the wooden spear at them. Like, why do they have to... I have even a bigger question. I want to pull out even further because...

And again, I could have misread this. We know that that's possible. But I believe this movie is about, you said it in the beginning, these goblins having to eat plants and having to eat vegetation. And so what they do to feed on, to feed themselves. So what they do is they end up turning these human beings made of meat into

into vegetation that they can eat. And then they, yeah. Remember that? Why not just eat plants? I felt like, cause it worked in different ways, right? Arnold gets turned into a tree that needs to be cut down. The girl that Arnold is chasing turns into a puddle of goo. Yeah. But they eat that puddle of goo. I felt like, Oh, are the humans, are they using the people as like manure?

basically as something that the plants can grow out of but no because sometimes the people just turn into a puddle of green goo that they start eating they eat so i don't know and that goo is not vegan it's made of melted people no i think that i think that like what they're talking about well first of all sap in this movie everything that's sap is green which i don't think that's the color of sap i

Again, I'm no botanist, but sap is green in this movie. And I think when they give them a bite of the plant life, their bodies, it runs through their system and then their body turns green.

To plant. So that's why they're sweating green. Yes. Green is pouring down. They become plant. Well, the grandfather, Grandpa Seth, when he's talking to the boy, says chlorophyll at the beginning of the movie. Right. As the only, I feel like, word that gives us a sense of like, oh, well, of course, chlorophyll. Right. I mean, it's bizarre because it's like everything is so green. Right.

I'm sorry. That's a different one. Paul, that's a different drink. Oh my God. Oh, wait. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's too late. It's too late, you guys. Oh God. Uh,

But it is, it is like, but I guess my question is this. They want to kill humans. Easy peasy. But why do they have to make them like, why do they have to trick them with these elaborate meals when they check into that house and

There's like a whole buffet set up in the house. You're not even buffet a full dinner. Oh, wow. Well, they would have eaten it. Except that Grandpa Seth arrives on the scene with time freezing powers. FYI. Yes. And incentivizes the and incentivizes the boy to dot dot dot piss off.

on the food piss so when those people wake up let's keep in mind we cut away from the boy on the table opening his pants when these people wake up they wake up mid bite and their son slash brother is standing on the table pissing all over him i mean this movie this is awesome he doesn't tell him to piss that's the thing i rewatch because he doesn't say like he's like you have to stop them then the boy

I'll be honest. That was my first impulse. 100%. Immediately. I got to it quicker than the boy. The boy, he has 30 seconds. I've never seen anyone take a 30 second more relaxed. He's like, huh?

walks around, looks at it. Like 30 seconds is clicking down. And we're with him the whole time. I was like, take the food and throw it out. We were with him the entire time. Take it all, pick it all up. Run it outside. Right. Throw it out in the garbage. Nope. And he's like, piss. Now, what I imagine happens, because the scene cuts, is that

He must have pissed on them like a fire hose. Yeah. Like, yeah, it couldn't have just been I'm pissing on the table. Like it had to get on the corn that the daughter's eating. And, you know, you know, that kid's not hydrated enough. He's too young. He's not high. There's no way. Right. That's not a huge bladder.

Yeah, no. Let me tell you this. They've been in the car for a long time. That's true. The rest of the movie, every member of the family should be like, remember what you did yesterday? That should be the most important thing that's happened to them up until that point and in the future. Literally, you stood on the table and pissed all over dinner. What is wrong with you? If I had a child who, on a vacation...

Yeah. Stood up on top of the table and pissed all over our food. Yeah. We are, the vacation's over. 100%. That's yesterday's news. That's done. We pack up immediately and we check him into some sort of a facility. Yes. Now, here's what I will say about that. Things have gone bad. And I think this whole family is slow to react. I mean, you know, like we said, they don't deal with trauma well. The mom says in the beginning, you must banish the memory of your grandfather.

Well, she also she also makes him say a sentence that no child would ever know, which is Grandpa Seth is just an invention of my subconscious, which he isn't. Technically, he is that child. That child should be taken away from her. So that is crazy. This is crazy, though. Sorry, Paul. But it's just it's also crazy that they are going crazy.

On this sort of working vacation to process their grief and their loss of grandpa's death. I don't think that's part of it. She says that. She says that's why we're going. She says that's why we're going so that we can.

you know, try to move forward. And it's like, wow, you didn't want to go to a, like a, a Zans or, you know, right. You go to where you do, where your farmer ancestors live, but also you want to become a farmer for a month. That seems like a terrible idea. Go someplace with a pool. She brings it up with the dad and the dad's like, like he has, he thinks grandpa is still here. And the dad's like,

Yeah, I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid. Like, they don't give a shit. What year is this, Paul? What year is this? 1990. 1990. When you look on the poster on the wall, there is a poster of Michael Keaton in Batman. Also, this kid's the worst sports fan in the world. He's got so many opposing... He's got teams that are enemies on the wall. Like, there's too much... They've got no rights to any of the Major League Baseball stuff. Too much stuff. I will say this, though. Um...

Here's my thought. I'm the daughter. I'm eating my corn. My brother starts pissing on the table. I'm just going to pull back. I'm just going to eat that corn. Yeah. But Paul, in that 30 seconds, here's what I imagine. In the 30 seconds, he managed to spray. He managed to get everything.

I think he has to get everything, which means let's be clear because they're all holding food. He has pissed on all of them from a standing position at a circular table in order to get the food that they're holding. He would have to piss on their faces and chests. Yeah. And let's let's where are those scenes? Did they shoot them? Well, I know. I was glad they weren't in there. I was glad they were. She said that the food was done as she was throwing it out.

That to me gave me everything that I needed to see. Her scraping piss-soaked dishes. And then the father. I mean, there's so much. This movie, we could get by it by beat by beat. I mean, the fact that the other family left the delineation of who was in what room. They put a little construction paper up on each door. Like, this is for Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so. This is for the boy. This is for the girl. Why? Why?

why would they just, why would they? Yeah. So when he's running down the hall, every door has another label on it. Like, so the, like, they're like, well, we've determined where your family sleeps. And the grandpa still got the wrong room. He went and haunted the sister. It's a new, it's a new layout for him. I love that, that he's like, I don't, I don't know the layout of this new place. I was, no,

pretty funny. I loved it. I loved in the scene before when they're driving to town and they're all get into a screaming fight and the mom is like, Joshua, sing a song. Sing that song. I like. Yeah. And they sing row, row, row your boat. That's the song she likes in 1990. Yeah.

That's our favorite song, Joshua, as if she can't remember what it is. Not CNC Music Factory. Row, row, row your boat. Now, I will say this. I laughed at that and I was like, that's ridiculous. But then, June, it did remind me of something that we have done on trips. What's that? We have sung the Burger King theme song in the row, row, row your boat cadence with our family. What's the Burger King theme song? Yeah.

What is it? I can't remember. It's like, have your way. BK, have it your way. You rule. It's very catchy. And I know it doesn't make sense. I don't know why this has become a car trip game for us, but it has. And we dread it. We...

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By the way, those poor actors, all the sweating of the green and the goo and the like sandwiches with the green. It just looks disgusting. The guy who gets turned into disgusting. The guy that gets turned into a tree, all that shit on him. It looked like he had an alien face hugger on his face. And you know, it just took so long. And earlier in the movie, it looked like the boy had a chest burster. There's a lot of like references. Why can't they eat?

Like when the father goes, you can't piss on hospitality, which I think is a beautiful sentiment, obviously. You know, that's something that a lesson learned. You can't piss on hospitality. And he goes for his belt. And I think, oh, no, he's going to use his belt on the boy. And then he's like, no, I'm tightening my belt to take away the hunger pains. Yeah. Because... So, Paul. Yes. So here's what. So...

All the food's been pissed on. Sure. You can't go back and eat that. The one general store in town has those farmers hanging out in there who are not very welcoming. And there's no food in town. And it seems that they cannot get to any...

sundries. They're, they're not nothing. They brought nothing with them. They're so angry that this family, this family, they didn't leave anything for us. It's like, of course they didn't leave anything. Like, that would be disgusting. They have a car. They,

They have a car. They can go. What's confusing to me is the movie's logic would make more sense if they were stranded. Right. But they're not. They have the ability to move around as much as they want. They have also just arrived. They arrive. They walk in and the food is there.

The boy pisses on the food. Then they are. Then they appear to be so hungry as to be having eaten in weeks instead of mere hours. Mustn't they have just had food on the road? What is going on? There is a time problem because they say it's nighttime and it's bright as day. It sure is. They say it's time of night and it is daytime.

Here's something that I did hear. You know, the script writer was Italian. She wrote it in very, in a rough English. And the actors begged her, can we just put this in our own words? And they said no. So they were not able, they were never able to ad lib. They were never able to like acknowledge what was going on. Like they had to just like, it was like, it was like Aaron Sorkin. That's why a teenage boy at one point said, don't fret. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, and so many, like the mother just calling him dear. Oh dear. Go to bed, dear. It's dear. Oh. And I was like, so weird how much she's only calling him dear. And I don't want to like talk like, look, yes. Is the acting bad in this? Of course we don't need to go over it. Well,

That much. But I do believe the mom, and I want to just go back to the mom does look like she is heavily medicated. It's not like she's a bad actress. It looks like she is, or she has made a choice to seem like she's on Thorazine or something like that. There's something going on. I think those goblin masks, they blink more often than the mom does in this movie.

She just saucers that do not move, no matter what's happening. She has nothing going on behind the eyes. She's gone wild. She's...

I wanted it to be revealed that the mom was in on the whole thing. The mom orchestrated it. She killed her father. She brought them. Yes, she's from this town and has some connection because it's her father that's Grandpa Seth. No, it doesn't seem like any of that. Nothing. Here's my favorite part. It's scene eight. How they find out that Nilbog is Goblin. And I have questions, but here, let's watch this. Grandpa, Grandpa Seth, are you there?

Uh-oh. Nilbog! His goblet's fell backwards! What I love about this is the plan was he will see the name of the town, he'll see Nilbog in a mirror, and it will be reversed, so then he'll be able to read Goblin. Yeah. But when he looks at it in the mirror...

It still spells. It's not reversed. There's no, there's no difference. Indecipherable is what it is. Yeah. It's like you. And, and, but yet he commits to, Oh, for the first time I'm seeing it, but there's no, there is no, but here's the thing. It,

It doesn't matter that Joshua finds out it's Goblin. Right. He knows there's Goblin. Exactly. He's the only one that knows the truth. Meanwhile, the father, they've, him and his dad have gone to the store. The father has fallen asleep within seconds of sitting down outdoors on a bench, reading a book.

book that I believe just identifies different types of vegetables. It's called Cooking Vegetables, which is also in a flip book format. Yeah, it's like a children's book about cooking vegetables. He's like, oh, this looks interesting. You know,

It's like that thing where there's just absolutely nothing to read and you have time to kill and you're like waiting in a waiting room or something. You're like, okay, I'll pick up this magazine that I otherwise wouldn't read. He has picked up this. He's picked up a picture, a child's picture. But where was it? Is it sitting on the street? Because he's just... I think it was sitting on that chair.

And did that book put him to sleep or is the father narcoleptic? Because from picking up that book to being completely zonked out is maybe 30 seconds. Yeah, at most. Well, Paul, you said you have some sort of a cheat sheet on goblins and trolls. What do you...

what do you see there about their relationship to vegetables? Yeah. Get back to that. Like, let's go to the, let's go to the goblin faction. All right. This is of course by our producer, Molly Reynolds. She found this out. A goblin is a small, grotesque, monstrous creature appearing in folklore from European cultures. Um, they have all kinds of temperance, uh, temperaments, I'm sorry. And their appearances change based on the story or the country of origin. Um,

Goblet is how you refer to a female goblin. And I don't think there were any female goblins. I didn't notice. I assumed they were all men. And maybe that's my bias that I have. And is the woman is the woman in the house that looks like a church? Is she like queen of the goblins? Well, I want to get into her bringing her up. Yeah.

Or is she the Goblin Queen? It's Stonehenge, but it's not. I want to bring two things together and then I want to get into this. I will also say this. The original English translations of the Smurfs, they were called the Goblins.

Oh, so. OK. And I think that Gargamel. Papa. Papa Goblin. Papa Goblin. Handy Goblin. Goblin Goblin Goblinette. Goblinette. I'm realizing and I want to hear more from you, Paul, on this, but I'm realizing that I'm just thinking about gender and goblins now. And.

I'm like, well, I saw men. I think I saw many adults and children, women, women and girls turn into goblins before my very eyes. But once they were goblins, I didn't see any gender identifiers. I assumed that they were all men, male creatures. They carried themselves like men. Right. This seemed like a town. And it seemed like the women in the town were,

Well, everybody that's a human is a goblin. I don't know that we're... I don't know that we... I may be. Right? Because everybody is also... Everybody in town is a goblin. Yes. Everyone in town is certainly a goblin. But I do believe that the Gargamel character...

if we're keeping the Smurfs analogy, is like she is the Goblin Queen. I think that she is like, these are my children. And she's pushing out because like she lives, she seems to be overseeing everything. Yeah. And she had all of the infrastructure. Special powers. Definitely. Doesn't she do something at the end that's super? Oh, yeah. Oh, she turns young. Yeah, that's right. Lightning and everything.

People that have powers in the movie don't really use... They use them like once and then... And yeah, so you can't really tell if it's like a thing that they go to a lot. Like even Grandpa Seth being able to shoot lightning. I was like, wait, why didn't we use this more freeze time? And also... Yeah. And also turns out that the humans have power too, which is to just, I think, think good thoughts. Well, that I have a lot of questions about. We'll get to that, I guess. But Grandpa Seth says...

At the very end of the movie, Stonehenge, he's like, and obviously, as I've said before, just be good. I'm like, sir, I have never heard this. Not once. And by the way, what does that even mean? Let's just see the witch's introduction. This costume. And look, again, they're low-hanging fruit here. Bad acting, bad sets, bad writing, whatever. I thought this woman was amazing. Me too. That's what I was going to say. Fantastic. And this is the best...

Yes. Best intro of any character. And I will say all of this while dressed like something you would get at a Halloween adventure. And to pull off that level of acting and that bad of a costume, really, truly. And then when she turns into the young version with the lighting and the head shoes, it's Stevie Nicks, like...

1988. I love it. Somebody could take her scenes and cut a rad 80s, 90s music video. Averill, you heard it right here. Yes, please, Averill. Please, great. Go ahead. Here we go. All right. This is the introduction. Scene three. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Credence Leonore Gilgould of ancient Druid origins.

My ancestors came from stone. Am I mistaken or is there something wrong with the two of you? We need a doctor, ma'am. Please call the nearest hospital. There is no hospital in Nilbog. We are used to curing ourselves.

Loved it. Yeah. No notes. No. By the way, saying you're from Stonehenge is like saying I'm from the Empire State Building. Like, it's not a place. That's like Stonehenge isn't like an area. It is a... Stonehenge is literally a monument. It's not a town. Yeah, you didn't live in Stonehenge. It's not like... You can say I'm from Atlantis. I did miss... What did she say...

Where did she say her family? Ancient Druid origins. That's the most vague way. Oh, yes. Where are you from? What country are you from? Oh, I have ancient Druid origins. You know, my dad is from Greece. My mom is of ancient Druid origins. Oh, oh, oh.

ADO? My mom is ADO. My dad's from Greece. Listen, by the way, special How Did This Get Me In? all-star Jessica St. Clair has recently found out that she has more than...

your average amount of Neanderthal in her blood. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So some of us do have to, you know, have to identify as Neanderthals. Oh, yeah. No, my 23 and me came back super high on ancient druid origins. Super high. Jessica St. Clair, did that really happen? Neanderthal? Yes, Adam. Yeah.

That's why he is. She has a pretty high percentage. That's fantastic. Paul. Yeah. Paul and Jason and Adam. There's a moment where they start. Grandpa starts talking about how it's not just that this woman is which or whatever she is. Queen of the Goblins has these powers that the powers are coming from that little egg stone that she has that they must destroy.

Oh, yeah. And the light is coming from the crack in the rock. But then there's also the circular stone. There's a lot of magic there.

that is never given, at least as I could discern, exposition to help us understand the whys and the hows of it. It's just there. The rules are all over the place. Yes. And all of that feels very Rocky Horror-ed. Everything inside of this house felt very Rocky Horror-picture in a wonderful way. Every part of this was straight nuts. And if you're going to have a MacGuffin, like a

power center, like a thing where the power is emanating from, you should just have one of them because otherwise it just gets very confusing very fast. But yet it's all defeated by, and not to spoil it, a bologna sandwich. Like a bologna sandwich really throws a wrench into everything. Because they don't like meat.

You know, the goblins are really climate warriors. Yeah, I don't... And where did it come from, Grandpa Seth? The bologna sandwich? Yeah. Was he hoarding it? I mean, because the daughter also says, I was fasting for two days. She doesn't say, like...

We'd have food for two days. Was she fasting? By the way, that's good. That's good for her workout. She's getting jacked. She's she's cutting weight because she's a bodybuilder. I feel like that's my head. The writer, the the now I know the the Italian woman who wrote this screenplay was just hung up on food and eating.

consuming food. Like I just think there, and the filmmaker too, just can't, it's all about food and how grotesque it is. But Adam, there's a monologue when a bunch of the townspeople are meeting in that little room, that little underground basement, I think for a service of some sort. I don't know what that was. A vegan service. They're just talking about the vegan service. It's like there will be blood.

Yeah. And they're talking about how disgusting meat is. Yeah. I'm a vegetarian. I'll tell you this much. But I will tell you, I found that monologue to be very effective. And I am, I don't eat meat. But I watched that and I was like, yeah, it's disgusting. It is disgusting. When she says, think about the fats in your blood. Think about the cholesterol. I was. I was.

But I do think on some level, this writer wrote this because she's like, oh, I'm annoyed by my friends. Vegetarians are...

are pissing me off and I'm writing them as these monsters. They're vegetarians are monsters to me. They get together. They commune. They talk about how great they are. Oh, they don't want to eat a steak sandwich. He's fucking idiots. Give me more pizza with the sausage on it. You know, I used to eat meat. I used to eat meat up until I saw this movie this afternoon. And then you saw it.

Yeah, I'll be honest. I watched this whole movie. Not a thing was appetizing to me until that bologna sandwich. And I was like, absolutely. Chomp, chomp. Let's go. Nom, nom, nom. I want that bologna sandwich. Now, everything else looked absolutely disgusting. Well, of course. I mean, I'm a vegetarian, but I wasn't looking at those meals. And I mean, those, of course, were not appetizing. The milk looked pretty good, I got to say.

Here's the part. Here's the only thing that looked good to me. The popcorn. The corn on the cob and the popcorn that resulted in it is simultaneously the best food scene in it and the sexiest scene I've ever seen in my life. Hit that clip. That scene worked. Oh, yeah. Because if you can get a girl hot enough, she's gonna pop. Again, that scene, I was like, I... I...

I am absolutely on board with this scene. I'm on board with the corn between them. I not. Oh, when they are sharing it, when they are lady in the tramping, the corn on the cob, I was fucking, I was ready to rock. Well, I mean, by the way, why was that boy so turned on again when we go back and not to make it all about like gay panic, but.

She is like, so she's munching on that corn and he's like, oh, I wish that corn was my dick. And that's, but then they eat corn together. So he, then he goes, so like the image is, oh, if that was my dick,

That would be great. But then he it seems like he just wants the corn because they're eating corn. Like when she puts it in his mouth. But the corn becomes then the symbol of their explosive love because it one single ear of corn produces, I'm going to say, a metric ton of popcorn. Like he is. He drowns in it. He is in a grave. He is dead.

He's DOA inside of popcorn. But they also, it also feels like they didn't have enough to really pull it off. I think you're right, Paul, that it's like almost there and they, and they didn't have quite enough popcorn to pull off the whole like drowning, like in witness. So it's like, it appears that he could just stand up and he'd be fine. It's like, it's like somebody throwing popcorn at it. It just feels like aggressive because the popcorn, where is it even coming from? It should be coming from the kernel, from the, from the,

But it's coming from the side. Right. That happens a couple of times. Isn't like George looking down a hallway left and right and then walks two steps and then a troll just pops out of the side? You would have seen him. He's standing in the hallway. No one has peripheral vision. I would like to say that the chat has come up with a good joke, and it is geocorn.

Oh, that's great. The chat is saying geocorn, which is a home run. I don't know who said it. I just am seeing it splash by very quickly. Geocorn has shut down the chat.

I will say this. There are some things that are disturbing about this whole family, too, because it's like the dad's, you know, we talked about the mom saying banish your grandfather's memory from your mind. We've talked about like, you know, the son pissing on the table. And then also at one point, the dad says to the daughter, are you still smoking dope? Like still like not like are you smoking dope? Are you still smoking dope?

Well, because they all know she's cool as hell. Yeah, she's the coolest. They all suck so hard. The movie should be about her. I scratch that. It's not about the boys in the RV. I'm only interested in Holly and what she's up to. She's working out for I don't know what. I wanted her to be so physically ready to do war, to do battle after having been working out so hard. Not the case. But she's fascinating. She's smoking dope. She's hanging out with the guys. She's giving them ultimatums. You're right. And I want

to talk about her. I'm so sorry to go back to her workout routine again, but it's connected because I do think it's fascinating that they didn't have her

They didn't have her like doing crunches, you know, like a classic young teenage girl. Like I got to do like a hundred crunches and keep my stomach really, really flat. Like she's straight up chest. Barbells pumping iron. Boom. Yeah. A hundred percent. Well, it's, it's very much like we, we didn't know about crunches in the eighties. It was just barbells. We just did. And, and what's littered around her more weight. I,

There were no split squats in the 80s. But there's no yoga. There's no yoga mat. And I will just say, like, her body is great. Okay, be cool, bro. Be cool. Take it easy. No, but it's not the body of a bodybuilder. Like, the amount of weights that she has in her room.

I would expect a different kind of body. I was just thinking it looked exhausted. Let me ask you this. Is this her way of dealing with grief? Is this her way of embracing health and life in the face of death? Holly is saying, you know what? I will build my body. I will strengthen my body. I will choose to remember Grandpa Seth because keep in mind, she always,

also sees grandpa Seth in a mirror. Sure does. And that's super weird. Scares the shit out of her. And never, and doesn't, that doesn't back up the boy at all. The boy still remains. Everybody thinks he's crazy. I, I, I will say that I, with all that working out, I wish I agree. I wish she would have just fucking shredded some of those trolls at the end.

just take them out with her power. Give her a sword. She does deck Elliot pretty hard. I mean, she destroys him. Weird sound effect for the punch. But yes, she does. Yeah.

This movie does have some interesting cinematography in the sense that like there's like a cake POV. Like we're coming in on the, there's some shots that are surprising in it. Like there are some things that, that feels like there's some artistry here. But when that cake comes into frame and they're going into their face at the party, that's like, they have a surprise party for no one at their house. And,

And they're not fully put off by it. And this is moments after the dad comes into a barn where he's watching his son being held down forcibly and being force-fed ice cream.

And the dad's like, all right, we got to go back. But the ice cream wasn't green, which was interesting. Yeah. Ice cream was white. It looked like whipped cream or something like that. So again, I don't want to be just pointing out inconsistencies because I don't think they add up to anything. But that helped. It wasn't helping me figure out

It was clearly not ice cream. If he eats anything that they give him, does he turn into a pile of green goo? Well, this is the thing. Even the girl with the beautiful freckles in the beginning of the movie. I mean, and I haven't seen natural freckles like that. I mean, what a blessed freckles. Well, Paul, just so you guys know, there is a very big beauty trend where women are putting freckles on that look like that. Wow. Wait, what? Right now. Yeah, maybe not.

that like like like raggedy ann and andy painted on yeah there's a lot of young women who um are and different beauty brands are selling these freckle pens that's right and also freckle patches where you put this patches and then you pull it off and you have like this like oh i wish i'd known i would have put freckles on for this show broccoli freckles is that what they're called

Broccoli freckles? I don't know. They might be. I don't know. But I've seen on TikTok. Paul is vegetable crazy. That corn is going straight to Paul's head. He's only thinking about vegetables. Broccoli freckles? Guys, guys. Hi.

Oh my gosh. There is so much. Are they cruciferous? Are they cruciferous freckles? I mean, just think about little freckles on Brussels sprouts. How cute that would be, right? Anyway, who's with me? I'll say this much. There is, I mean, there's so much to get into. I want to also like, I want to open up to questions. I want to, I want to get into it all. I do think it's worthy of just highlighting the boy who goes to the store, only gets milk,

And then is chugging and running with milk. The most disgusting, like, Oh, like it felt hot. It felt like he was actually drinking milk too. And I was like, Oh, it also seemed to me to be that the milk was thicker and grosser. So why not just get rid of it? Well, you know, I still horrified to think about how many times I, I would run in from like playing outside as a kid and, um,

I mean, I didn't have a glass of water until I was 18 years old. Water was never an option when you were a child. Nobody ever offered it to me. No one offered water. Well, it was bad for you. It was bad for you. I literally would fill up a giant pint glass of milk. Yep. Of whore milk. Shut it down. Oh, yeah. I mean, that thick, viscous vitamin D. I have to quench that thirst.

I've talked about this and forgive me for bringing it up again, but my nighttime ritual was something I saw in Laverne and Shirley, which was mixing Coke and milk and I would drink it before bed. Ew, really? Wow. I remember that from Laverne and Shirley. Did it keep you up? Your shits must have been crazy. I mean, I'm lactose intolerant too, so there must have been some moment. Are you still doing that?

A little bit. Almond milk. Every other night. Almond milk and Pepsi. I would love it if June came down just suddenly to get something after you thought she was in bed and she caught you pouring your whole milk and Coke. Jason, she catches me doing some weird shit all the time with food and it upsets her so much. June yelled at me the other day. She's like, take your cereal out of here. I was eating cereal too late in the day, mixing my cereal, mixing...

I'm making mixes downstairs. That's fun, though. Mixing like crisp eggs and Cheerios. First of all, I don't even like seeing people eat snacks. I'm someone who wants to see my loved ones eat a meal at a mealtime. Eat your snacks. Yeah, you got mad at me. You were like, stop snacking. I don't want to see anybody eat. Eat on your own time. Eat privately. You know what? Eat privately. I don't need to see that process. No.

I'll tell you this much. Let's go and pick some questions from the audience because I want to get to some of the special things that we have, the special guests that we have. So this one is Bad Jim Varney writes, did the dad think they were actually going to do some farming? Like, was there actual farm work? And this is a great question. It seemed like they were responsible for keeping up that family's farm. They didn't seem like they were on the farm. They seemed like they had no idea.

No, and in fact, Paul, in fact, when the dad put the boy to bed...

The night he pissed all over the dinner food, when he put the boy to bed, he said something about like, we're getting up bright and early, like crack of dawn. We're out here tending to the farm. And then the next morning, he did not seem to get up early and do any farm work or chores. No, they didn't. They never seemed to even acknowledge the farm. But look, they're also dealing with a kid who's pissed all over the table. They're horrified.

so hungry. Do they have to grow their own food? I mean, they, yeah, it's, this is a, this is a bad vacation. Like you said, a bad vacation, but I didn't see any farm tractors or anything. It didn't seem like a farm to me at all. No. Yeah. It didn't even seem like a farming town. It seemed like a sad town, but it seems like a town where like, do they just bring in one family? Yeah.

A month and then they live off of that family. Right. Yeah. And everybody feasts on that one family. I mean, you would think I mean, what an embarrassment of riches then to have this family of four plus the RV of four. That's like that's eight. That's eight servings for twenty five people total. That's that's pretty. Also, what did those weirdos do with their house? They went and stayed in their house, right? Yeah.

They just stayed in town. They had no desire to go. They were just going to wait. Their plan was they're going to go inside, eat the food, they'll turn to trees and we'll eat them. But this is my issue. If I'm a goblin, if I'm a troll, that family gets out of the car, I stab them

And I don't have to go through all this pomp and circumstance of making a meal and doing all this stuff. But I think you've got, I don't think, I think that, that remember the guy says it, blood will ruin the meat or something like that. You can't, you can't ruin, don't ruin the meat or it's not, that's not quite what he says, but there is a sentiment that there is a process that needs to be, that needs to be adhered to. Otherwise it renders,

the people inedible to the goblins. Okay. Again, what are we talking about? I hate this. Now, I know that you're saying that I'm obsessed with, you know, obviously vegetation, fruits and vegetables, things like that. Now, I will say that there is this middle ground in the movie about vegetables and plant life, which are different things, right? Vegetable, like trees, like growing into a tree is different than becoming like...

A vegetable, a vegetable, like trees and vegetables are not the same thing. No. I mean, right. Or I mean, I just thought that. It's a good question. I don't under, this gets back to, I'm not sure why somebody turns into a pile of goo that everybody just starts immediately eating versus Arnold who gets turned into a sprouting tree that gets put, he gets planted into a planter and.

Um, and with his coffee mug, he must have, that poor guy must have been in this position. Oh my God. So long on that. Can you even all that shit all over him? What a miserable day's work. That must've been. Wait. Oh, someone is saying that they nailed his shoes to the floor. So he couldn't move. What?

That's how they kept him in that spot. They nailed his shoes to the floor. The actor's shoes to the floor. That's, I guess, in the documentary. What? What are you saying? Amazing. Now going, not the wardrobe, the shoes. So here's the thing that I was getting back to. So Nilblogger wrote, why did they all have that clover skin mark? This is, again, going to like, so clover leaf.

we're going to Halloween three. There's a lot of like the clover doesn't necessarily translate into the tree either, but everybody who is, but, but somehow that suggests again, connote some sort of,

Folkloric, Irish, Scottish, the greens of like that. I don't know. Are we are we? What's the book? OK, what's the book at the beginning? The chat? Well, I'm sure chime in. What is the book? Does the book that the uncle, the grandpa Seth is reading to the boy in the beginning help give us a sense of what what mythology we're even inside of, if any? Or is it just this Italian woman's melange of different folkloric ideas? I mean, I'll tell you this.

The Grandfathers is from Grandpa Seth. It reads from a book entitled Davy and the Goblins while telling Joshua the story of Peter and the Goblins. So the book is called Davy and the Goblins. What? I now think Grandpa Seth is a villain. And I'm also like, if you're going to call one grandpa Grandpa Seth, then where's the other grandpa? And like...

I always find it interesting. He has like Grandpa Ron out there somewhere. Is he passed on? Or is he... Right. You know, and... Why not just call him fucking Grandpa? And not a single mention of any grandmas. There's no grandmas? It was immaculate conception. Grandpa Seth just...

bore these children by himself. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. But as a, as a, some sort of a goblin adjacent person, I believe that they might have just grown out of him like fruit from a tree. Um, another question I will get here is, um, doc buttons, uh, wrote this. Did anyone else think the dad was going to pee on the kid after he peed on the food? A hundred percent. A hundred percent.

Yes. I was hoping for it. Either that or just present his penis. It felt very wrong. The way he took it, he did look like at first it was like he's going to hurt him with it and then it's like he's going to do something bad. That's all. Either way, not good. It definitely

None of none of the dad's business with his belt worked on any level. It just suggested a myriad of terrible things are about to happen. That's right. Now, let's let's talk about this. Look, we have opinions about this film. There are a lot of opinions. Some people say it's the worst film ever, but there are other people out there with a different opinion. Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever heard.

It's now time for Second Opinions. Ben Lee, take it away. Don't trust the mainstream for information. Don't trust Grammarly for punctuation. Don't trust a surgeon to make incisions. Check out Amazon user reviews. Get a second opinion. Second Opinions.

Second opinions. Second opinions. Great. The great Ben Lee. He is amazing. Just one of the most creative, fun, down to do whatever person. He's so incredibly talented. And like I said, his sub stack is great. There's podcasts, there's things him and I only do a bunch of great stuff on there. I really, really love it.

These are five-star reviews pulled from Amazon. It was hard to find these reviews, but I will say this. There are 1,240 reviews. 79% are five-star. 7% are one-star. So, you know, people love this movie. And the first one is from Jesse Purdy. Wow. This is certainly a movie.

Five stars. So a little bit like we have these fun ones in here, but you know what? Again, I figured let's call in the big guns. We put a word out to this next performer. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Billy Porter reading a second opinion. All right. I'm Billy Porter. And this review is by someone called TK raw. The subject line is a masterpiece. TK raw rights.

I don't like to throw around superlatives recklessly, but I wouldn't be surprised if God himself wrote and produced this film. It's stunning and perfect. Five stars. Five, five, five, five. Across the board, the category is five stars, darling.

Billy Porter, thank you so much for doing that. Amazing. I want to read one more here. This is from Jacob DeBry. Jacob DeBry writes, this movie was amazing. You could truly feel the pain of the actors as they were being devoured by the goblins. I wish I had a grandpa like Joshua. Five stars.

I love that he wants that grandpa. That grandpa did not make me feel easy. That grandpa made me feel uncomfortable. And his name was Seth. It felt like there was

It felt like there was going to be a reveal for the grandpa that would have felt meaningful. And there really wasn't. He just appears, gives the boy a backpack and disappears. He certainly wasn't a warm, loving presence, you know, to connect to. He was scary. I mean, actively scary. Scared straight is sometimes what you have to do. Let me tell you this.

If you haven't donated because you've got it, I still want to be surprised. We had Ben Lee. We had Billy Porter. We've had a lot of people here. But I think when you think about this movie, you go the centerpiece. The rock of this movie is the dad, George Hardy.

And you know what? Let's hear a second opinion from George Hardy. Hey, it's George Hardy. Wow. And I played the dad in the movie Troll 2. Wow! It was made in 1989. And here I am today to read a second opinion for How Did This Get Made? What an honor to be asked.

So I do want to let you know, Mr. Sean Kelly did write in, and I've got this memorized by now. Sean wrote in, hey, how did that trash movie Troll 1 compare to Troll 2? Well, Troll 2 makes sense. And everybody was trying to make a good movie. They really were. So I give it a five star. But he asked one more question. Why is it called Troll?

Troll 2 when there's no trolls in Troll 2. There's goblins. Anyway, I don't know. They were just going off some coattails, I think, of troll. Anyway, hey, you guys, you got to remember one last thing. You can't piss on hospitality. I won't allow it. Yes! Troll 2 forever. Yes! He said it! He said the line!

George Hardy is the best. That was amazing. Ward's only the best. And Jack, right? I mean, he looks great. He looks great. He looked great then. He looks great now. He kept the weights from the daughter's room. That was the thing he took from set. All right. So let's go around. Anything that we haven't talked about that we want to talk about? And we got some more surprises. So here we go. You know, the only thing I want to say is I don't know if we touched on the line, I'm Sheriff Gene Freak.

Gene... Oh, Gene Frank. Isn't it Gene Frank? No, I thought it was Gene Freak. I wrote down Gene Freak first. Gene Freak. I'm looking at the IMDb. It is Sheriff Gene Freak. Oh, that's amazing. A man in the town source announced that he was... He introduced himself as Sheriff Gene Freak. June, not just a townsperson, the sheriff of a 25-person town, which he is one of. So, 24-person town, which...

Four of the members are away on vacation. So really a 20 person town. We've seen everyone in this town.

Yeah, we have. And they all go... We haven't talked about when they are all... We talked a little bit about they're all at the house, the family's house, when they come back, and they're throwing them an impromptu party. And then Grandpa Seth appears corporeally with a Molotov cocktail. The priest comes out. They fight. They fight, and Grandpa Seth...

zaps the priest, the priest lights on fire. So only the boy and the fire and the engulfed in flames priest are in the yard. Everybody comes out. They put the priest out and it's a goblin. Of course, the corpse is a goblin.

But everybody's the boy has done like it feels so much like the boy has just done all of it. You know what I mean? When the dad runs out there, he sees a man on fire and the boy standing there is my son. He just pissed on the table. He's seeing visions of his grandfather. Now he's lit a priest on fire and the father just calmly puts him out.

He knows exactly where that fire extinguisher is. He knows, oh, we keep it randomly just on the side of the porch. Doesn't he say, I'm going to distract him with this? With the fire extinguisher? Yeah, with the Molotov cocktail. Yeah. Oh, oh. Also, Paul, you pulled the Oh My God clip, which I just think is very funny. Oh, yeah. Let's play this because we haven't played this. Oh, yeah, this is great. Oh! Oh!

Oh, my God. What's happening to her? And why can't I move? There must be a logical reason for all this. Shut up. She's changing. They can't see her from there. They're eating her. And then they're going to eat me. Oh, my God.

This man, this actor is amazing. Incredible. And I don't even think this is his best scene because his best scene is when the girl is attacked in the woods and he goes out to the goblins and says like, guys, hey, get out of here. Leave her alone. He doesn't react to the fact that these are full on creatures. These are goblins. She's saying they're monsters. Yeah. He's like, it's not a good time.

He's like, I'm out here trying to get laid, guys. You got to you got to also where he he tackles the girl in the forest. Is that the same guy? That's right. She hits the ground so hard face first into the and, you know, they had no stunt people on this movie. This poor woman.

Just gets taken down. And he stays on her. He also stays on her like they're in a romantic, like they're rolling around. It's like, thank you for, I don't know what he was doing, but like, get off me now. Immediately he's like, I'll show you a human body. Oh my God. All right. So I will tell you this. We've gathered here tonight for a very good reason, you know, to raise money for MoveOn.

And I wanted to end the show with something special. I talked about it throughout the episode, Michael Stevenson, the young boy, the boy, um, he made a great documentary. It's called best worst movie. You got to watch it, but we reached out to him and, um,

he wanted to do something very special for the show. So I, I have a full video of him. I cut it down to a three, like a quick version here. Well, put the full video up on my YouTube channel right now. You can go check it out after the show, but this is a brief word from Michael Stevenson about this movie. I love this. So here you go. The boy speaks. The boy speaks. I wanted to share something with you today that I have not shared before. An original prop video.

From Troll 2. Wow. This is the chest piece. This, look at this. Whoa! I can smell this, and it's the smell of the latex. It instantly brings me back to...

European cigarettes. That's the smell of European cigarettes and old stale pizza in boxes. That's what we ate every single day was cheap pizza. Not like fancy Italian pizza, but like cheap, like

Domino's pizza. And they never ordered new pizza. It was the same pizza. They just ordered a big one, I think, at the beginning of the production. And then we just kept eating from the same pizza. That's about the production. First time that I watched it, I remember watching it with my family. 11 seconds into this film, this VHS tape, my dad says, Michael, this is a terrible movie.

terrible movie oh uh all these years later i can't tell you any longer that i feel troll 2 is a bad movie i think it is a magical movie i think that you know you think about the number of films that get made more resources more budget fancy stars fancy set whatever it is

They're forgotten about. Almost many of them are forgotten about almost immediately after they're released. And Troll 2, for reasons not intended or planned, has become something, a film, a piece of work that will never be forgotten about.

yes yes yes I love it yes yes the boy speaks the truth yes the boy speaks you can watch the whole video that he made for us on my YouTube page and please make sure you check out his documentary it's great it's a great documentary it is it's terrific it's a best worst movie

Adam, it was amazing to have you back. Thank you, guys. What a night here. Thank you, everybody, for tuning in. Thank you for spending Friday night with us. Thanks, guys. Thank you, Adam Scott. Bye-bye. See you next time. That's a wrap on Troll 2.

Thank you to the entire team at moveon.org for helping us put that together. We raised $181,000. And guess what? You can still continue to donate. How? Well, we have these amazing shirts, the Nilbog Milk T-shirts.

t-shirt you can get as a sticker a coffee mug whatever you want you can get it at tpublic.com and every bit of the money that we make from that is also going to move on which is ensuring that people get out to vote thank you move on thank you billy porter thank you cast of troll 2 and thank you ben lee holy cow i love that new second opinion song um people how did this get made

and Dinosaur are coming to the East Coast. First of all, what's Dinosaur? Jason Manzoukas, myself, Nicole Byer, Carl Tartt, Lisa Gilroy, Seth Morris, Rob Hubel, and more improvising for your pleasure. That's right. We are going to be in

Brooklyn, Boston, and D.C. We've already sold out our first show in Brooklyn. We added a second show, and that is just a mere few seats away from being sold out. So grab a friend. Tell everybody, you know, Dinosaur is coming to D.C. and Boston and Brooklyn, and you can get your tickets right now. Just go to HDTGM.com and

How did this get made is going back to Philly. That's right. And we're going to bring them a good movie this time. We have to Philly. We're coming to you November 16th, November 16th. We will be in Philly. Our LA dates are pretty much sold out except for November 8th. Get your tickets for that right now, man. Oh man. So many shows, but keep your eyes peeled because we might be opening up some more tickets to New York. Uh, it's sold out very quickly, but

For you, we might have a few more in the coming weeks. Anyway, thank you so much, everybody. Remember, if you have a correction or omission from Troll 2, you can leave me a voicemail at 619-P-A-U-L-A-S-K. That's 619-Paul-Ask. Or write a comment on our Discord at discord.gg slash HDTGM. Then make sure to tune in next week to our Last Looks follow-up episode to hear me respond to your messages and announce our next movie. Please subscribe.

If you don't know by now, Jason joins me on every last looks to chat about movies, TV, books, and we even get to talk to some of our favorite friends. So if you're not listening, what are you doing? I mean, we got good interviews on that show. Really fun interviews. Anyway, um...

I will always remind you because I'm out there plugging it all the time. My book, Joyful Recollections of Trauma, is still available as an audio book, as an e-book, and as a regular book book. And if you want me to personalize your book, I'll do anything. I'll put a lot of stuff in there. Team Fred? Not that. But everything else is fair game. You can go to my website and you can order a book at Chevalier's. They don't charge you anything more for it. I just have a deal with Chevalier's. You can also see where I've signed books and left them around the country. But definitely...

If you like the book, write a Google review or an Amazon review, I should say. And remember to keep the reviews coming on Goodreads. I am blown away. Thank you so much. And remember, one more thing, another remembrance here. If you listen to us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, make sure that you subscribe to our feed and you have automatic downloads turned on immediately.

It helps us. Wink, wink. Helps us. Anyway, last but not least, I got to thank our entire team for whom this show could not be done without. I'm talking about our producers, Scott Sonny and Molly Reynolds, our movie-picking producer, Avril Halle, our engineer, Casey Holford, and our associate producer, Jess Cisneros. That's all I got, people. We'll see you next week on Last Looks. Bye for now. Get away with friends to the laid-back Maryland coast.

where you can catch up while casting off and hang ten while hanging out. Where a day on board is never boring and full throttle is half the fun. Where you can sink a putt, raise a glass, and there's always room for one more round. Ocean City, Maryland. Somewhere to smile about. Book your trip at ococean.com.

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