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bas.com slash bonkers and use the code bonkers at checkout. It's how to train your dragon, but replace dragons with balls. No, literally, there are balls in this movie. We saw Ronald the Barbarian. So you know what that means.
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What's up people of Oz and what's up people of the club? We are live at BAM to talk about the first animated movie ever on How Did This Get Made. Ronald the Barbarian is about a weakling barbarian descendant from a long line of the strongest barbarians who goes on a quest to
to beat a bad guy. I don't know. This movie is R. It's weird. It's really just a simple kids movie, but with a lot of shits and fucks and, like I mentioned, balls. It's like what a 12-year-old might do in his bedroom to, like, fan-dub a movie. Like, fuck you, you asshole. Eat shit, cocksucker. It...
It feels like the curses are just snuck in there willy-nilly. And I loved it. And to break down this movie tonight, I have two of the best. Two of the best animation experts. Two of the best barbarian experts. Please welcome to the stage Mr. Jason Manzoukas! What's up, jerks? Do it, Brooklyn!
That's right, Bam! Why did you make me watch this movie? It was a beautiful day in New York. I sat in a hotel room and I watched this piece of shit for you. Jason. Paul. I felt like this movie was going to be right up your alley. Why? What? Take offense to that. I feel like that's the meanest thing you've ever said to me.
I just thought... I just see you watch it and be like, oh, Jason's gonna love this. I think people thought you might have picked it. Pick anything. I'm subjected to these just as much as you are. Sure.
I did not like this. I didn't like... You know, is it really the first animated movie you've seen? Yes, the first animated movie we've ever done. I was like, okay, cool, animation movie. Great, I love animation movies. Boom, put it on, and within, I'm going to say one minute, one of my very first notes is, what the fuck is this? It does jump out at you. But I'll tell you, I know you watch this in your hotel room. Our next co-host, well, we watch it together while eating brunch.
In a restaurant? In a restaurant on separate iPads. Oh, that waitstaff has a lot to say to each other. And we both were laughing pretty loud. And I got to tell you, I think she might have enjoyed it more than all of us. Please welcome my other co-host, June Diane Raphael. Welcome, June. Hello, Paul. How are you? I'm well. How are you? Okay.
I'm going to say it right here. I'm going to say it loud and I'm going to say it clearly. I enjoyed this film. No! I enjoyed it! Holy shit!
I enjoyed it. Is it possible we have Freaky Friday'd this tour? I liked last night's horny romance movie and thought for sure you would. I hated it. And Paul thought for sure that I would like the animation and you loved it. And I was with you, Paul. As I was walking here, I was like, Jason's going to be so happy. Jason's going to love this. Who do you think I am? I'm going to talk in therapy about this.
Listen, it flew by. Well, it's an hour and 20 minutes. Thank God. That's the best news I have. You're telling me you didn't have some real laughs during this movie? No. No.
Paul did. Paul did. I did. I'm sure I did, but I was really shocked at how absolute dog shit this was. Honestly, Jason, loosen up. That being said, you're right. I was in the hotel in bed suffering from jerk-off elbow. The tagline for this movie is babes, balls, and muscles...
in 3D for the whole family.
Oh, wait. Wait, there's a 3D version of this? No, 3D animation. Were you guys watching it with 3D glasses at brunch? Wait, what is 3D animation? I think 3D animation is this style of animation. Like, 2D animation is more like Beauty and the Beast, and then 3D animation is like Toy Story. Like that, a little bit more three-dimensional. Now, here's what I'll say. This movie came out in 2011, and if you go to find it on your Amazon or anything like that, a streaming service, you'll find it.
It is put next to children's films. One of my main questions was, who is this for?
Because it presents like it's a How to Train Your Dragon, a Croods, a something like that. And boy, oh boy, is it not. It is, from the jump, close-ups of balls and crotches and titties. The first joke is, I mean, the opening is kind of very traditional, right? You're seeing this opening of this big battle, cool characters, and then someone's done. Cool characters?
I thought they were kind of cool looking, right? Yeah, you're a big Kron head.
You love Kron. You won't stop talking about Kron. I mean, come on. When Kron's fighting, I'm like, cool. When Kron bleeds for seven days and seven nights and everybody drinks his blood, so cool. Kids, everybody, kids, right? This is for you, right? But here's what I would say. That open, you have a little kid drinking it, he's like, whoosh, gets muscles. And then that little weak barbarian drinks just a drop of
And either his dick or balls grow big. I don't know which one. That's when I wrote, that is literally when I wrote, what the fuck is this movie? Right, because up until that point. I rewound. I rewound to be like, is that what happened? Well, I think one of the reasons why I enjoyed it, and I'm not too proud to say that, I enjoyed it. Maybe the movie is for me.
Maybe I'm the intended target. We have finally broken June. I think this movie is for me. It's taken 13 years. Also, Paul, there was a lot of setup going into this movie. There's a lot of talk about it's an animated movie, June. Like, get ready.
You had to be prepped? I did. I was like, Paul, I got to work out this morning because I'm going to have to let some energy out before I sit down and watch this. I mean, I was prepped for such a nightmare. And again, because we had done Jonathan Livingston Siegel here in New York. You're welcome. You're welcome. Loved it. You loved it. I was like, I guess we're giving another gift to the city we love.
And I'm going to have to suffer through this. And you had also said it's a sex comedy. You said those words a number of times. Well, I do think a number of times. He kept on saying we're going to watch an animated sex comedy. I said it once.
Once, maybe twice. And I was like, oh, okay. I don't know what that could mean. I don't know what this is going to be. So then when it went down so smoothly. This movie. So smoothly. This movie should be in the restricted section with the pornos at the rental store if that exists. Here's what I want to say about the comedy and why I believe this movie's sense of humor is elevated. What is happening?
Wow. There's the comedy. And this is what you might have missed, Jason, if you weren't watching closely. This is my favorite episode of the show so far. Go ahead. You are tearing Team Fred apart. Sorry. There's the comedy in the foreground, the scenes. And there's some built-in comedic beats to those scenes, some funny lines. But what you may have missed, and I suspect you did, is the background comedy in this movie.
The BGC? Yeah, the background pieces, the ADR, the things that are on the throwaways on the side, the stuff they added in months after the animation had ended. That's where the real jokes were.
And that's where it was genuinely very funny. Well, what I found about this movie is it's kind of like all the perverted jokes that you hear. It's like, oh, did you see in The Little Mermaid the castle actually looks like a dick? Or in The Sun, there's an image of tits in Lion King. Also, please stop sending me those.
But did you see it? I'm aware of the mouth. You get it. You don't need to keep sending me those images. But sometimes they're high-res. Joe Camel's nose has a dick in it. Joe Camel is still a thing. And I'm going to say Jason's... No Joe Camel? No Joe Camel heads? Jason saw this right before the show started. I said, I want to go back and watch the opening scene again. When I tell you, never in my life...
Have I witnessed June re-watch part of a movie willingly in the green room? Interrupting a delightful conversation we were having about New York City. She was like, excuse me, I just need to re-watch the beginning. I saw that before I went out here and it unnerved me. And I'll say this. And she was there like...
And not only that, sorry, Paul, but Jason said, oh, oh, I'm so sorry. You haven't finished it. And I go, oh, no, I'm just I just want to watch the first scene again. Oh, yeah, because it's not uncommon. It's not uncommon for us to need to finish the movie when we're in the green room or something in the last 10 minutes or something. But for you to have finished it and want to bring all your gear, that means you brought your iPad to the. Wow. I did. Forget it.
I did. And not only that, but what I just wanted to say is on second viewing of that opening, the first 10 minutes. Is this a second opinion? The second viewing of the first 10 minutes of the film, I noticed one of our villains had red marks on his ass. And I didn't know why. And then when I rewatched it just about 20 minutes ago, I saw that to get the horse going, he had been saying, hi-yah, and whipping his own ass.
And if you forgot that scene... You missed that the first time? I missed that in the first viewing. I wrote it in my notes. I did too, and I'm going to say that's even longer than the first ten minutes if you watch that deep in. Because check out scene four. Just so if everyone can get on the same page as June. Here we go. All sons of Kron are gathered. Lord Valkazar. Then the time is come. Crotch. Crotch.
Pretty cool characters. Now, I will say what I noticed in watching that again is that that character is kind of an S&M character. I didn't get that. Oh, is it? Oh! I didn't get it! I didn't notice. Oh, no, I love the movie.
Until seeing it on the big screen, I didn't notice that it's... This is a movie that needs to be watched on the big screen. This is, yeah, we should, I advocate we stop doing the podcast and just watch the movie here. And I am shocked that no one's here dressed as characters from this movie. This movie is like, what if a kid's movie, but the villains are Lord of the Rings style leather daddies?
And that's what we're doing. Later it's ball gags. I was like, even the book, where the book is on the roof of the Elvish thing, is somebody like... I loved it.
The lectern? Loved that part. I thought that was clever. Now what I'll say... I did too, Paul. I did too. Show your sons this movie. Well, that's what I'm afraid of. But I will argue this, that maybe June is onto something because according to the Nordic Film and TV website, this film opened very high and not only did it open high, it is in the top 10
Hang on. Yes. Where? The Nordic film and TV website. Where is that? In the Nordic area. Top film where? With Youth 11 Plus in Denmark. Denmark. This is a Danish movie, isn't it? Yes. Admit it. Yes. It is. It's a goddamn Danish movie. I said when we started this podcast, I said I will never do it again. You just got Daned. I told you I would never do it again.
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Danes love this movie. And it was a movie that was already supposed to be for English and Danish audiences. And what I found weird, though, was, yes, we're in this Conan the Barbarian world, but the English dub, and I watched both. No, I didn't. They really lean into the New Yorker version of this world. Like, hey, yeah, what do you want over there? Like, I was like, huh? I thought you meant the magazine, the New Yorker.
Which I also would have loved. They have a monocle. But there was this energy where it was like their stereotypical American voices. There wasn't an energy to be like, we are all these kind of characters. It was like, no, no, we're just going to do like, hey, you piece of shit.
And I will now say, I did Google it, looked it up, and saw that all of the cast were Danish actors, including my boy, Grand Admiral Thrawn himself, Lars Mikkelsen. Yes. Is a voice, I guess, in the... He's not in the version we saw, though, is he? No, the one that we saw did have Brigitte Nielsen. She's the head of the Amazon Queen. She was amazing. The Amazon Queen.
I will say the Amazon section was phenomenal. It's fantastic. I have no problem with that section. If they want to spin that off, I'm in. No, here's the thing. Honestly, this is what I'll say. Amazon's jumping rope. I will get into it because I'm like, if we're going to go there, let's fucking go there. This movie feels like it is...
Like, we're an adult movie. But they don't show... That's what I'm saying. The movie is... Thinks it's so close to being heavy metal, the movie. Yes, yes. And it is not heavy metal, the movie. It is... It feels more to me like How to Train Your Dragon, unfortunately. With balls. And... So much balls. Balls have their own set piece. And it works. By the way... It works. It works.
That set piece. This is the most insane June take in history. You're telling me that that scene of those balls going up the staircase. It was. It was funny. That's funny. That's what I call comedy. And then they get shot with tiny arrows. Perfect. I love those balls. What? I love those balls, too. Pull that quote. Pull that quote. Put it in a song. Keep it in. But I couldn't figure out the physics behind it.
of where the body was. I was following the balls, but I was like, how would, where would the body be to get the balls? I would rather, frankly, the body hit the floor. But that sequence of, of the balls being out, like little bouncy things on a karaoke, you know, singing. Follow the bouncing balls. Yes. I thought it was such a crazy sequence. Yeah.
But it made me uncomfortable, especially when the codpiece stared and we saw some fleshy balls. Well, okay, so that was my question. That was my question, is why were his balls still covered by a leather satchel? So I think...
Because mustn't he have to get naked to rub the invisibility stuff? No, you don't. You just have to rub it on yourself, I think, and then things get invisible. Got it. Okay. Yeah, that's where it ran out. I thought he walked around the stone so that he could take all of his, not all of his clothes. Him walking behind the stone appeared for no reason because it seemed like they just needed to get him off screen so we wouldn't see him not rubbing his balls.
I guess. I don't know. I feel like what you were after, Paul, was you wanted to see more animated full sex scenes. Yes.
And I think what must have happened, and maybe that's a both of you on it, but I think what must have happened was they must have, for that rating, had some sort of negotiation of like, well, we can show balls, we can show real balls at one point in flesh, but we can't have these others, like we can't have the scene actually with the Amazon women. My question would be, because this has got to be rated R, just for language alone. It is.
So why couldn't you have like nudity? I'm not saying like show penetrative sex, although please show penetrative sex. We're in a world in which everybody's like, I don't want sex in my movies. No more sex scenes. And I'm like, show penetrative sex in animated movies now.
It's such a tough platform to run on and yet you're... I need your votes. His name is Woody for a reason. You're running for Speaker of the House. I'm running for Speaker of the House. That's right.
My only platform. Congress needs to get back to work, and we need full penetration in our animated movies. Full funding of full penetration animated Pixar movies. That's it. That's it. Bring it. Oh, boy. There is, but to me, I felt like I don't need to see sex, but maybe some boobs, too. Maybe some dicks. Okay.
I agree. Why are we seeing boobs? We don't have to even make them sexual, but it's just like... I feel like I saw a lot of boobs personally. I didn't see any and I wanted to.
You were barely covered. They were barely covered, but covered still. Gross. When they go to that Amazon tribe and he was used as a mating device. Show us that, you cowards. Show us that, you Danish cowards. I did feel bad for him because he's clutching at his dick and balls for that whole scene. What could have happened? The best night of his life.
But that... Do you think Ronald was a virgin? Well, okay, so I... This was the only problem I had with the movie. And I mean only. Is I never knew if Ronald... Ronald? Ronald. Ronald was like... Ronald was... Scronal. Was like 14 or 42. I was like...
At first, when we first saw him, I thought, this is a 12-year-old or a 16-year-old. And then as the movie progressed, we got some close-up shots of him. And I did think the way that this movie deals with body hair and animates it, I found it to be so almost too realistic.
You know? In the scene that we just saw with the ass whipping on the horse, he has a hairy butt crack. That's what I'm saying. Somebody in Denmark animated a hairy butt crack
Sell by sell. This is what I'm saying. They took all the freaks that put all that crazy shit in Disney movies. Like, come over here and let your freak flag fly. Like, there were a team of animators for months working on little balls. A ball sack just running around. What are you working on? Oh, I'm working on the ball set piece.
To the Nutcracker Suite. By the way, talk about layers of jokes. There it is. That's exactly right. You have to be awake for this movie. You have to be awake and watching.
You're missing it. I'll fly by you. I did like, talking about some of the background stuff, I did write this down. I did laugh at when they saw a scene of warriors being attacked. There was an arm coming out of somebody's asshole. What? A sword put in somebody's ass and then an arm shoved into someone's mouth.
So that's the background you've got to watch. And that's some solid jokes. Again, it's in the background. Let go of the foreground, you know, as a concept. And really train your eyes to see the background. Maybe we need to re-watch this in a future episode, but just the backgrounds. But anyway, what I was going to say about body hair is that Ronal...
In the close-up shots, he does have a lot of facial hair. Well, in fact, in the Amazons, they pluck one out of his face and are like, this woman has hair on her face. That was a funny sequence. Again, I laughed.
When Ronald said... I don't know if it was Ronald or Alberta. When one of them said... You know the other names? The Bard. I don't know what his name was. The other guy. Alberta. Is it Alberto? It's Alibert. When Alibert...
Can I just say for a brief moment, it is absolutely categorically insane that you remember side character names from one of our movies. Stayed with me. He stayed with me. I love every minute of this. But when he said, wait, we're women? I laughed so hard.
I mean, that fully, like, soup to nuts, that's a great sequence. The Amazon sequence, a great sequence. Soup to nuts. Soup to nuts. Well, let's see, let's actually see that Amazon scene. Great. Scene nine. Are those real? Of course. I just had... Since the first time I laid eyes on you, I've wanted to rub my naked body all over your manly chest. Forget the silly rules, I just got out, naked boy. Oh!
I didn't... I wanted Ally Burt to get love at the end. I agree! Yeah.
And I felt like they had a connection there. I'm glad he chose to say to go and help his friend. But yeah, I mean, like he can get at least something going. But this is the thing. I wasn't worried about him. I wasn't focused on him.
Here's my issue with this movie. You're all Ronald all the time. All the time, all day long. But there's a thing, and I guess, by the way, Brigitte Nielsen only did the Danish version because that's definitely not her voice. It does look like her, though. It does look like her. It feels like they definitely animated it to her. Yes, and it's odd they didn't just take her to do it. They have a southern woman being the head of the Amazons. Bizarre choice. I'm sorry, though. When she takes one boob and slaps him across the face with it...
What more? We work so hard. We have such difficult lives. Like, that made me laugh. Is that so wrong? No. And I'm sure for... So wrong! I'm sure for some people, for some people, that is how a fetish is born. I want that to happen to me. There is something, though, about this movie where I feel like, again, I just want to go back to this idea that
I just wanted them to push it a little bit more because at the end of the movie, it just becomes a straight up Lord of the Rings. Like the end of the movie is just like, oh, we're just watching a battle between
nothing, it's just like, shut up, you fucking dick. Those are just shot in to be like, no, no, it's still adult. Don't worry about it. But I feel like that's the thing that bummed me out, that the bookends were just a basic movie with weird ADR in the background. And I really just wanted, you know, maybe defeat them with your dick. Defeat them with your balls. Like, let's do that. Do you think these, do you think they thought they were making a sausage party-esque movie
raunchy, blah, blah, blah? Or were they making a slightly more risque movie for young people? Well, I will tell you that this is what the director said. After decades of Pixar, now Rango and Wreck-It Ralph, which are solid movies. Love Rango. Rango's great. Which are solid movies. Audiences have matured. Yes, we have. And people are catching up.
And trying to make films that match American movies in terms of story and character. So that was his idea. It was like, hey, if you saw Wreck-It Ralph, now you want to see Wreck-It Ralph's balls. Like, let's grow with the audience. Like Taylor Swift, let's start them young and then pull them into their 30s and 40s. I'd rather see Fix-It Felix's balls. I'd rather Jack McBrayer be like, y'all, this is crazy. Bonk, bonk, bonk. Fix-It.
By the way, in 2016, a Chinese company did buy the rights to this film because they are going to make a live-action remake. Fantastic.
That will be... Can we just announce that will be the final episode of the podcast? Whenever it comes around to it, probably not for a while, that will be the final episode. Oh, my God. You're going to tell me, though, Jason, in the world of all of the movies we've had to watch, that you didn't enjoy this? Oh, it was fine. It was fine. It was just... It...
I guess I'm butting up against a little bit of, my sausage party question is kind of what I wanted. I think I would have enjoyed it more if it was just a complete embracing of the insane gonzo nature of it. Sure. That movie I could have gotten on board for. The version of it that isn't actual, like, that I'm meant to care about the Samwise character coming to the rescue and the fellowship coming back together and defeating the bad, like, all of the plotting, I was like, no, no, no,
no just give me nonsense set pieces and i'll enjoy this more but i think the movie wanted us to care about the dumb uh quest the quest which in the back when you were playing the um trailer and we were listening in the back june said why couldn't he just go on a quest i did ask that question yeah i did ask like why was he so quest against going why is he so quest averse
They never really underlined a couple of things that we needed. He didn't want to be a part of it. And I guess that's my question for the barbarians. The barbarians that are here tonight? All of them. Well, they're all up there. They're all on that. Oh, yeah. No, the barbarians. They're all there. Barbarians are up there. The Mezzanine, these are very respectful people. I wanted to know what kind of quests had they been on before? What happened there?
Well, the barbarians are super strong. They defeat everybody who comes to them. But we never see that. And the minute they are challenged, they are so easily crushed.
Like, it is really like, you know what? I think they deserve to go extinct. You know, they're literally defeated by like Lord Zurg. It does look like they are like, somebody saw Toy Story, like that's our villain. Like, it's like, this is the Lord Zurg. But I will talk about the Shield Maiden because that's our love interest and that's our heart of the story. Shield Maiden was interesting to me because she was a fighter. But it seems like if you're a Shield Maiden, you wouldn't have a sword.
You'd have a shield? If you're a shield maiden. Now that's interesting. That's...
Like, I wouldn't go through all the happens and say, shield maiden, shield maiden, and then be like, but she fights and looks exactly like anybody else in this movie that we've seen. She is dressed just like a barbarian. Yes. She's looking for the barbarians. Yes. And in the very brief flashback, because I was like, oh, maybe we'll meet more shield maidens. And everybody seems to know immediately upon seeing her, oh, you're a shield maiden. Nothing. I don't ever understand anything about it. Okay, that's fine. But...
But, yeah, it doesn't that just connote that she would be carrying a shield. Simple as that. Just give me a shield for a character who is called Shield Maiden. Like, it does seem like... Listen, it's a movie. You know, not everything's going to... This... I'm going to remind you of this. Just let it go. What was last night's movie called? Beautiful... Beautiful Day in the Sand.
I would so much rather the nonsense and the jokes, the hilarious jokes in that movie than in this movie because I laughed so much more. We are having... Wow, June. I don't know you. We have to go to couples therapy. I don't know you at all. We have to go to teen friend therapy. We will show this in couples therapy. We should go on the Showtime show couples therapy and show clip five and then see who found it funny because I think that therapist on couples therapy would find it very funny. Here we go.
Great character. Fun character. That fairy is stacked.
That fairy also is serving Manhattans. Yes, a double Manhattan. A double Manhattan. Well, she can never find its rightful owner, though. Including when the place blows up. She dies trying to deliver a double Manhattan.
The women of this movie, you know, I do think that the movie has more of a feminist bend than maybe both of you are ready to see. Oh, no. I think you're right. I think it's there. I mean, the fiercest warrior in their party is the female character. Absolutely. Yeah. And also, like, there are these side characters, her. And I would watch an entire movie about this bar wench. I would love to know how she ended up there. I'm with you.
And also, like, we never, I wish. Paul, now we're back. June and I are back. We want a side movie of the fairy waitress who has human-sized D-tits. Trust her. I'm listening. I'm listening. If I'm going to get any side character, it would probably be the oracle who needs his asshole wiped. But are you the nurse? The nurse to just wipe his ass? What? Who comes intermittently when he shits? But anyway, go ahead.
Like, he goes, are you the nurse? As if she shows up occasionally. Oh, I see. Like, it's like, oh, like, it's like almost like he has a medical alert bracelet. Like, time to take a shit. You know, and then the nurse comes in. Be careful of the hemorrhoids. What I found disgusting about this movie. Everything? Well, it goes there with that. Like, little arrows into balls. I'm like, ooh. You know, and I'm like, and then in that moment where he wipes the character's ass, the next scene he's like,
sniffing his own finger. He's wiping it. He's wiping his finger so much.
I was like, what is this? This is incredible. But then he gags on smelling the shit finger and I'm like, ooh, that's more upsetting to me than anything I could possibly ever see. I feel like this movie is about leather daddies, shit play, cock and ball torture. This entire movie is built off of Pornhub categories. Now, would you be surprised?
Would you be surprised to know that in the new Saw movie, Saw 10, every one of the characters being held hostage is being forced to watch this. That's the only trap. I would not be surprised. Are you leaving? Where are you going? I'm going to go out and talk to the audience. Already? We just got started. I'm so sorry, Paul. Do you have somewhere to be? Paul's like, I'm trying to second act Gutenberg tonight.
Sit down. I am happy to sit down. I've barely touched my notes. These people, most of them probably, a lot of them probably got a sitter. Let's hear from whoever got a sitter. Yes. Thank you. Parents night out, getting sloppy at BAM, hand jobs outside.
I will say, for the record, this is the time I normally go out. But I will sit here because I have a lot more notes myself. There's so much titty twisting in the movie that I was like... And it's wonderful because there's so... It's wonderful. It's wonderful. Because I will say, it's not every day where you see a movie present like...
men's nipples.
Pierce. Pierce nipples. You guys are right. I should not have gone into the crowd. This is great. Continue. As such an area of fixation. Oh, yeah. Look at this. We really have to spend a lot of time. Everybody's got full-on nipple clamps and harnesses. And by the way, that's when you guys said there aren't enough boobs in this movie. I was like, I feel like I saw many boobs. Oh, you're right. You're right. They were men's boobs. Correct. But there were boobs. All the bad guys' men's boobs.
Now, now we're, see, now I'm glad you're not in the audience. I agree. Because it's, our men's boobs boobs is the t-shirt, without a doubt. That seems like it borders on the dirty. But I think it's our men's boobs boobs question mark Paul Scheer.
It's very much so where does the butt start? Yeah. In that area. Can you call men's boobs boobs? Of course. Yes. Really? Yes. Wow. Audience, audience, are men's boobs boobs? They're breastplates. Yeah. Or do we call men's boobs like a chest or something different? Hex. Balcony is with me.
Can we get house lights? What is the, or some librarian, I'm going to guess. Is there a librarian here who can tell me the etymology of boobs? Where did we get boobs from? Don't force a librarian to. No, I only want a librarian to deal with that. Is there a medical doctor in the, we have to have a medical doctor in the house. Oh, is there a boob doc in the house? No? Cowards. Back here, back there, back there. I see one. Okay, hold on. I'm going. What are you going to ask?
Our men's boobs boobs. Alright, who do we have? Hi, how are you? OBGYN, family medicine. Give it up! Thank you for your service. And to true or false, you'll be doing pap smears in the lobby afterwards? All night. That's right. Best part. So yeah, men have breast tissue and those are moobs. Those are big men. That's a technical term?
No. But yes, so breast tissue on both. Yeah, we got to do like if you have a mass in a male, you have to still do a massogram. Okay. And it's still breast cancer, I assume. Yes, it is. Thank you. All right, we did it. Thank you. Great work. Fantastic. Great work. It always makes me worried when doctors listen to the podcast. We need it. Well, I answered that question. I should have asked about the butt too.
I like the idea of a doctor performing surgery and being like, you know, I'm just going to play something while I do this. They're putting the propofol in and they're like, come back from 10, 10, 9. And it's like, boom. How did this get me? Oh my gosh. I did have a colonoscopy recently and the anesthesia is so cool, I know. And the anesthesiologist literally seconds before putting the propofol in my body went, big fan, man. No. No.
No. Big fan, man. Big fan. Big fan, man. And I was like, cool, bro. Get ready to see the inside of my asshole. That's crazy. Wild stuff. Wild stuff. Big fan. Big fan, man. I can't believe I have the chance to kill you. Big fan, man. You're going to feel a little cold, and then you're going to have the best sleep of your life. Rafi. Oh, no. Oh, no.
I didn't know you could be put out for colonoscopies. That's great news. You can be. I simultaneously had an endoscopy as well. Not simultaneously, but in the same. So that's... You don't have to be put out for a colonoscopy. I'd prefer to be. And you guys didn't want me to go out into the crowd. See, we would have missed all of this gold. Never gotten that. Cut out all of the stuff about my colonoscopy from the podcast. That's just for you, Brooklyn. Oh, man. That's right.
Brooklyn gets the butt stuff. Brooklyn loves butt stuff. This back to school season, spend less on your kids with Amazon. Now, here's the thing. I love back to school season, but I'm going to be honest. It's expensive.
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Okay, you say, I want some breakfast. Your so-called boyfriend says, we got eggs in the fridge. Obviously, when you say breakfast, you mean McDonald's. Definitely a side-eye situation. Bring home the bacon, steak patty, or others with a BOGO for $1 breakfast. Only in the app. Limited time only at participating McDonald's. Valid once a day. Must opt into rewards. Visit McDApp for details. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.
There are some weird turns of phrase in the film. It's like, mama's tits can't save you now. Could they ever? Yes, actually. And I felt like that was an interesting moment because, again, you guys, you might have missed a lot. You might have really missed a few things because when we cut into that bar scene, there's a whole discussion and there's like a lot of mom jokes and
And then that one villain guy who threatens to fight Zandra at the end of the scene. Yeah, I know her name. Never before. Never before. You don't remember people's names. You don't remember my name sometimes.
Wow. But that guy who comes out, you know, swinging at the end, wanting to fight her and conquer her. When we cut into that scene, he's having a conversation where he's making some your mom jokes. And specifically like your mom's tits jokes. But then strangely, there's like a little pause and he goes, yeah, but I really do love my mom. Yes. Yes.
And I was like... Yes, I heard that too. Yeah. And I will say, to your kind of background point, there are a ton of funny, side, weird jokes that I only got because I had closed captioning on. Because they were a lot of times conversations that we were passing by... I love the applause for closed captioning. Every time! Every time!
Every time I mention turning on closed captioning, big pop from the audience. That's a middle-aged audience right there. By the way, last night as we were driving... Not a Gen Z in the house.
Everybody's like, colonoscopies! Yay! Close captioning! Yay! That's my story too! Gen Z has brought in close captioning because of social media. It's a young thing. Close captioning is a young thing. Wait a minute. Are there Gen Z people here? Thank you. Get them out of here. Um,
I will say this, just talking about mom and mom jokes. On the way home last night from New Haven to here, our son called us and very seriously said, can I talk to you guys in private? We said, yeah. He goes, okay. Now this is not true. We're like, okay. He's like, yeah, it's not true. And he pulled himself away from our nanny who was in the house, his little brother, and I was like, here we go. Whatever could this be? And he goes, okay.
But this is not true. And we said, okay, all right. And he goes, your mom is so fat that when she sweats, it's maple syrup. And then... Did he deliver it just like that? Just like that. He did because he really wanted to make sure we knew it wasn't true. He's like, that's not true. It's not true. And then did like four more, but in that cadence. Yeah.
It's like there was a sadness to it, yeah. I have to get these out. I'm so sorry. I just have to. I've got to say all of them. I have to say all of them. Your mama's teeth are so yellow that when she smiles at traffic, cars slow down. And I did say to him, I said, well, my mom's dead, so...
This is really hurtful, actually. Please tell me he had dead mama jokes, because that's where this is going. But now, how about this joke? I know that you like that mama joke, but what about the jokes like, you're as boring as a yeast infection?
That felt to me like, huh, boring. Not a woman, but boring doesn't seem like the way you would describe a yeast infection. I'm so bored of this yeast. This yeast infection is boring. You're as annoying as a yeast infection. How's your yeast infection boring?
Honestly, I've never had one. I can't speak on it. I don't know. Maybe they are boring. I've never had one. That was, my friend saw The Who at Madison Square Garden and Roger Daltrey was on stage and the audience was like, yeah! And he goes, Viagra! Never needed it! Never will! And then the audience went like this. Huge mistake. And then he had to be like, but it's okay! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
All right, now I'm going to the audience. What? It's okay. It's okay.
All right, so who has questions? You want to have a question? Come here. All right, you come to me. All right, your name? James. James, all right. Give me your question about Ronald the Barbarian. Speaking of penetrative sex, was the implication in the scene in the tavern the man was going to fuck the goat on the second floor or the goat was going to fuck him? Great question.
And this is to the background jokes that June is talking about. June is the scholar of this movie. June studying this movie like the Torah. I actually don't remember that scene. I'm devastated to admit I don't remember that scene. Is it goat's mouth tied shut? I remember it and it felt to me like the movie was going for the goat fucking him. Great. You know what? We need more goats fucking dudes.
I am in Balcony One. Be careful, Paul. Where are you? Which side? Oh, there you are. All right. I have a question here from Balcony One. Balcony One. Okay. Yes. What's your name? Luna. Luna, what's your question? If you were in charge of making a Happy Meal for this movie, what would you make the toy?
What would you make the toy? There's got to be a couple of toys. There's got to be a couple of toys because I feel like there's a couple of big items. Yeah, I definitely think that some sort of like strap-on balls...
Yep. I was literally going to say like Benoit balls would be a great thing. No, I think like a, I was going to say like a pouch for your balls, like a ball pouch or, or just straight up nipple rings. That's great. Everybody's got them. Yeah. Not a character in this movie doesn't have pierced nipples. It's, it's, it's everybody. I would say a cigarette.
So you could act out your little fantasies like that bar wench. A lute, I guess. I think she was smoking a joint. Really? I thought a cigarette. I thought a cigarette as well, but I wish it was a joint. They definitely smoke out of bongs. Oh, yeah. Like skull bongs. And they're like, good stuff, bro. It's like, what the fuck is this movie? Did anybody watch it in Danish? Are there any Danes in the house?
Remember, Jason hates the Danes. Fine. All right. Yes, you're who had a question? Yes. Patrick Murphy, thank you. Yes, full names, everybody. Are we doing first and last names? Hey, guys. Full name and profession like you're in the movie Old. Confirmation names, all of it. And address. Guys, don't.
Don't talk to yourself. Social security number. Last four digits of your social security number and then go ahead and ask your question. Mother's maiden name and then begin. Patrick Allen Murphy. I apologize for not remembering his name. When Ronal mounts his dying guardian, did you notice, I wondered if you noticed, that he did full face waterfall? Yes, he did. It was awesome. I wrote that down. Was it awesome, Paul? It was awesome? Awesome.
What? It was awesome? Well, we don't get to see face waterfalls and everything. Oh, yes. No. We need more. We need to... Actually, the three of us need to commit...
to putting face waterfalls in as many projects once we're back to work as possible. Listen, I don't know if this is a real Easter egg, but in Burning Love, I did face waterfall Michael Cera. What? And nobody ever picked up on it. Wow! Oh, that's awesome. Here's a guy in an OutKast shirt from our Jonathan Livingston Siegel episode. Great work. All right, your name, your question. Jason asked if there were any Danes in the house. My name is Dane. LAUGHTER
Boom. You did it. All right. Hey, Dane, you know that's not what I meant. So my question is, especially for June, what age should this be shown to children? What age? When do we start? Yeah. When do we start showing this to children? We don't. We don't. This is not a children's movie. Let me say that clearly. Out of curiosity, Dane, do you have children? No.
Okay, so for you, never. Yeah, don't worry. For you, you shouldn't be showing this to any children. Totally fine. Dane. Yeah. Balcony One is fucking creeps and weirdos. Who knew? Hey, how old? When can I start showing this movie to children? Not ever. Not ever. Hey, kid, you want to see a movie?
It's got balls in it. Not ever. Hey, you guys want to see a movie? I'm Dane. And now I'm in the real balcony, the upper balcony, where the real balcony monsters are. Wow. And a place that I had to take an elevator to get to. We did not realize that. Now, someone here has a ball gag in it. Am I right in that? There you are. Has a ball gag in their mouth? Yes. Incredible. I'm going to come over to you.
Great job. This is a tough costume to pull off, and I'm glad that you did it. Hi, how are you? Hi, Paul. I'm well. How are you? What's your question? Okay, so I'm going to give a little bit of context for this. So at the beginning of the film, we see the whole sequence when everyone drinks the blood of Kron, right? Yeah.
When the little weakling gets the one drop, the only thing that gets big is his dick and balls, right? I kind of went into this assuming that Ronal is, like, descended from this person. But his uncle doesn't get the loser gene. No.
So it's like, does it like skip a generation? Is it a recessive trait? And if so, why hasn't this been like eugenics out of the barbarian? June, you have met your historical match. Wait, so your question is pro eugenics?
To be clear, you took the ball gag out of your mouth to assert a pro-eugenics theory. This is... Wow, just when I thought Balcony One was nuts, Upper Balcony, absolute fucking heroes. Holy cow! It was great. Shouldn't Ronald be put to death because he's weak? She does ask a fair question in...
In the sense that these barbarians, he doesn't seem to have offspring or where did it, you know, what happened? I also don't think that his dick and balls are that impressive. Ronal or the... Ronal. How do you know? Because he doesn't use them to do anything. He fucks all the Amazons, Paul! But that's a side quest. By the way, sign me up for that side quest. He's so anti-quest, but he's like, I'll quest in this pussy. Your question.
So this is a fairly horny movie. Really? Why does everyone have flat Hank Hill asses? Great question. Where are them juicy asses at? Honestly, I thought about that too because there were a lot of... What? I did. I had that same question. Because there were... Again, there was a lot of nipple play in the movie and there were a lot of emphasis on the male breasts, the male...
breast tissue and nipples and not a lot of emphasis on the male buns. And I appreciated that
new framing of the male body like let's let go of the asses as an idea and let's focus elsewhere here's what i'll say i felt like those are some flat pancake danish butts oh you think so but then but then all of the amazonian women had high and tight and high high high asses yep they're not danish
So you're saying all of the animators just drew themselves? Correct. Oh, interesting. Absolutely. Every single one of them. Would it surprise you to know that the director and writer of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, the Danish version, was a script consultant on this film? No, it wouldn't. Wow. Holy shit. What?
I'm going to go to our other costume person in the audience. Your name and your question. My name is Brooks, and my question is, I'm wondering if you guys noticed in the credits there is someone named Troels Christofferson who is listed as... No one would ever know. Oh, you were wondering if we noticed this.
Were you surprised we haven't talked about it yet? I guess I'm surprised you guys haven't mentioned that in the credits there's someone named Cherwell Christofferson and that if you do a bit of research you might find out. I'm surprised. His title in the movie is Reindeer Wrangler and I'm wondering what you thought his role might have been in this film. Wait a minute. Okay, hang on a second. Huh.
That's, whoa. Reindeer Wrangler for, that's the, he plays the voice of the reindeer wrangler? No. It would mean like he's wrangling reindeer. In what? It's an animated movie. I know, but maybe there was some sort of like. You think they had reindeer with mocap suits on? Yeah.
You think there's reindeer with mocap suits for this movie? I think that Danish people, the animators get hungry and they want fresh meat and that's like craft service to them. So it's sort of like, oh yeah, I'll feed the animators. They're working on this ball sequence. So I think the title is misleading. It's Chef. Paul, is it raining outside? You're soaking wet. I just ran up like four flights of stairs and I ran down four flights. I'm wearing a sweater. It wasn't a good choice. You look great. It was a lot of stairs.
It's hot up there. You're getting a workout tonight. This tour, you're getting a workout. I did. I shouldn't have done the push-ups to open the show. Okay, here we go. Obviously, we have opinions about this movie, but there are some people who just agree with June. It's now time for Second Opinions. Isn't he scrawny? This barbarian.
Horny Pixar, come on, Ronald. He quests far, so we go online and give it five stars because if there's something missing in my life, it's a flos... Great job! Amazing job. Our last one. Here we go. You ready for it? I feel good. I feel good about it. So here we go. I'll be honest. This is going to go great. Everybody else has sucked.
Only up from here. And now it's time for second opinions. I'm Ashley. Five stars, give it five stars when I rate this film on Amazon. Write it all in caps lock so you know that I cannot be wrong. I watched this whole movie with my kids despite all...
the animated dick five stars give it five stars cause I think it is a good film it is a great film it is my favorite film here you go New York Brooklyn you brought it you always bring a great job and a what's up jerk shirt killer you're doing great everybody did great
Okay. Holy cow. So just so you know, normally when we do this... What about a Flintstones adaptation in this style? I would see that. Horny Flintstones? What was that comic that they made? They made like the adult... Oh, Mark Russell's comic? Yeah. It's fantastic. That's a great comic book. Okay. I will... There is an incredible Flintstones comic book by Mark Russell. He also did an incredible Snagglepuss comic book that is fantastic. Check them out. I urge everybody to read them. Okay. Normally, when we do this...
We'll see how popular a film is. So say a smaller film that we do on the show, 400 reviews. A more popular film, a couple thousand. This film, 20.
Is it just that it is... Has it been out in English since 2011? Yeah, I've never heard of this film. Yes, it came out in 2011. Most of the reviews I'll be reading tonight are from 2013. Okay. Are any of them going to be in Danish? They are. Okay.
And a lot of, some of them are in French, some of them are in Danish, they're translated, so I won't read you the French or Danish. But M. David wrote this. Ronald the Barbarian is one of the funniest animated movies I've ever seen. June, is this your pen name? A movie that deserves to be known, but not for children. Pass it on. Five stars. And that's from French. That's a French reviewer, okay? Reviewed in France.
Get ready for this next one. I just wanted to kind of lay the groundwork with this. Rush and Schill, in November of 2013, wrote a review titled Great Movie. And here we go. The Young Mariner Society is a small nautical league of aspiring seafaring boys that I run from my boat here in Iowa. Hang on a second. This is a confession. I'm so sorry. True or false? Iowa. Landlocked?
We spend countless nights on my boat just a few yards from the lake. Is this admissible in court? I'll turn it over to Lockhart and Gardner to figure out if they can figure it out. That's right. I'm into season five of The Good Wife, everybody. Get ready. When I show up, who am I? Oh, I'm a lawyer. Okay, here we go. I love that show. Eventually, when the repairs are complete, we'll take the boat out on the water.
What? Kids should not watch some of those. No! Little semen? That's the t-shirt.
The Young Mariner Society Little Seamen. That should be his shirt, yeah. Upon graduation, several of my well-instructed Little Seamen have taken upon themselves the distinguished title of Mariner.
Winning the rope swinging competition this past summer with my boys, I gave them a night off from our rigorous activities. I just gotta remind everyone, this is an Amazon review. Yeah. I just don't want to get lost in the sauce. Like, someone wrote this. This isn't an article where they're like, we uncovered this journal entry from the most prolific Iowan pedophile in history. This is so...
Amazon review. Okay. Winning the rope swinging competition this past summer with my boys, I gave them a night off from our rigorous activities to enjoy a little R&R with a movie night. Without a doubt, they earned it. This movie was selected for its theme of maturation from boy to man. To everyone's delight, this movie was a hit. Family values galore and no home should be complete without it. Five stars.
I don't know what's going on. Unless that has been written from jail, I am flummoxed by that. Now, I think a lot of you want to know where this came from. And you know what? I said this earlier today that this film, out of a list of 542 titles, the most popular films in Danish animation...
"Ronald the Barbarian" is the second most popular film in their list after "Ninjago Masters of Spinjitzu." So it's "Ninjago"
Wait, that's a Danish production? No, no, this is like the most popular films. Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I get it now. Yes, I thought you meant that they themselves had produced, but now I understand. No, this is just the list of the most popular. So the Ninjago movie and then Ronal before a Toy Story or any Disney animation. A list of 542 movies. These are the top two. Now, you might be thinking, well, how did this movie come to be? Well, I want to tell you. I would ask, how did it get made?
Well, I will tell you that the director of this movie was known for kind of pushing the boundaries and continues to push the boundaries because in 2021, he released a new TV show called John Dillermand. Translation, John Penisman. Or John Williman. Or John Dongman. And it's a Danish stop-motion animated television series about a man and his very long penis. Long penis?
I don't like long as a descriptor. Big? Okay. Long? John Penis Man. It's concerning. John Penis Man is a middle-aged man who wears a red and white striped bathing costume and has a penis that can extend to a length of dozens of meters. Whoa. He uses his prehensile penis, which stretches through his clothes as a tool to tame lions and fly like a helicopter. What? Please tell me we're going to watch the first episode right now.
But his penis also acts independently of John, getting him into trouble. Oh, he has a sentient penis. The series is aimed at four to eight-year-olds. It was on for two seasons, had about 40 episodes, and upon release, over 250,000 children viewed it. But mostly all on a boat in Iowa. Yeah.
Well, I don't like that. All of those views are coming from a boat in Iowa that is up on cinder blocks. I don't like that one bit. And in fact, the more I sit with this movie, the more I'm like, I think only adult women should watch this. I don't want anyone else watching it. You don't want them getting the wrong idea? This is a movie for women. That's it. I don't think it's right for anyone else. This is for us.
I would love it if groups of women like they were going to the Barbie movie started going to the Ronald the Barbarian movie. That's it. Dressed in like... I don't want other people watching it and getting the wrong ideas. And now we will watch the opening of John P.S. Thank you. Thank you, Paul. Thank you for this gift.
And that. Here's what I'll say. I'm on board for that. That song, that looks great.
I'll watch it. How many episodes do we got? 39 episodes. I'm in. I also like that he's somehow dressed like Waldo. He looks a lot like Waldo. Yeah. Waldo with a big long dick. Yeah.
John. Then that's a kid's show. Four to eight year old. It's not. It's not. Imagine if they tried to do an American adaptation of that. How much people would lose their fucking mind. Yeah. They're trying to show us kids a man with a 12 foot dick. Well, now I'm going to say. I'm like obsessed with that. That is some nuts level stuff. Guys, we really fucking did it tonight. Yeah.
This was, I am shocked beyond belief by so much of what has transpired on this stage. And isn't it wonderful that 13 years in, we can still delight in this absolute trash. It really is. Together. And I will say this. Cut that from the podcast. Don't put out videos of me saying nice things.
I will say this. We put this show on sale at the very last minute in New York. You always come out. We appreciate it. We'll be back and we'll torture you more. We'll find other ways to do it. I'm so excited that you're here. We love being at BAM. I just want to give a shout out to our amazing tour manager, Beth Thomas. Thank you, Beth. Give it up for Beth.
Give it up for June Diane Raphael. Give it up for Jason Manzoukas. I am Paul Scheer. Thank you, everyone. This was amazing. Thank you. Good night. Eat shit, Brooklyn. Thank you so much to the staff of the Brooklyn Academy of Music and our amazing tour manager, Beth Thomas. If you want to feel like you were a part of the show, you can get yourself a T-shirt. That's right. We designed it live with the audience that night. It says, Ronal the Barbarian, a movie for women with an image of
Barbarian June standing on top of a pile of skulls, and yes, one skull does have...
Jason Hare. You can snag that shirt and all of our shirts at tpublic.com slash stores slash HDTGM. And people, it's time. It is time to buy my book. I know you might be putting it off because it doesn't come out until May, but guess what? You got to buy it now. And then when it comes out in May, it will be a surprise, a beautiful surprise. And if you pre-order, you can get access to a very special part of my website where you can see videos and clips and things that
have never been seen before. Plus, if you get the audiobook, there are tons of bonus features in there. So there you go. I will not be able to record a brand new Last Looks next week since we will be on tour in the UK. So instead, we will be re-releasing a How Did This Get Made classic episode in its place. I'm talking about the only movie in the Fast franchise we haven't yet pulled out of the vault. That's right, Hobbs & Shaw.
featuring all-star guests Adam Scott and Nicole Byer. So, if you want to find out what our next movie is going to be, make sure you tune into that Hobbs & Shaw re-release because I will announce it at the top of that episode. And don't worry, we will still be following up on Ronald the Barbarian on a future supersized Last Looks. And don't forget to send us your corrections and omissions by leaving a voicemail at 619-PAUL-ASK-ORG.
or writing a comment on our Discord at discord.gg slash hdtgm. All right, people, we are going to be in Europe and we want you there. Tickets are still available for some locations. And remember, you can find us online everywhere at hdtgm or visit us at hdtgm.com. If you love the show, tell your friends to listen to it too. Seriously, word of mouth is the best mover of this pod. And you know what? It's a lot more.
lot more fun arguing about bad movies with a buddy. And last but not least, I gotta say thank you to all your listeners who support this show every week and our entire team who this show couldn't be done without. I'm talking about our producers Scott Sonney, Molly Reynolds, our movie picking producer Averill Hiley, our engineers Casey Holford and Rich Garcia, and our associate producer Jess Cisneros. That's all I got, people. We will see you next week. Until then, bye for now. I'm just gonna be here all
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