Matinee Monday: The Spirit of Christmas
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bas.com slash bonkers and use the code bonkers at checkout. He's not a ghost and not quite a man. Sounds like the perfect holiday boyfriend. We saw the spirit of Christmas, so you know what that means. Now it's time for How to Discourage. We're gonna have a good time, celebrate some failure, not just be a hater, cause you know you're one good. How to Discourage. Let's follow in the mediocrity of subpar

♪ Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question ♪ ♪ How did this get made? ♪ - Hello people of Earth and welcome to How Did This Get Made? I am Paul Scheer and this is a very special holiday edition of How Did This Get Made? We saw the hallmark classic, The Spirit of Christmas, which is about a workaholic lawyer who is sent to appraise an inn in a very small town only to find it's haunted

by a very sexy ghost, or is he? And is this person maybe the love of her life? Yeah, this movie is weird. And here to break it down is my co-host, Mr. Jason Manzoukas. How are you, Jason? I'm good. Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas, Paul.

We are so excited to get the team back together for a holiday special because we do have a very special guest. But we also have somebody. She's my other co-host, but she's currently serving jury duty right now. June, are you there? Hi. Oh, wait. Please tell me. All right. So. No. He's going to. Whisper it. Okay. I have to. Okay. Go ahead. Oh, my God.

This is the softest you will ever be. I honestly am staring at a sign that says the use of cell phones during jury duty is prohibited. So this bears a little bit of explanation. June is currently serving jury duty. Yes. And is unable to be with us, but is calling in...

On the whisper phone. Yes. She is going to be listening in and texting. Like a ghost. Yes. Listening in. Legitimately like a ghost. This pod is haunted. And she will be texting in her thoughts based on what we're saying. So I'm going to be watching June's podcast.

Tex here as she is joining us from a jury room in downtown Los Angeles doing her civic duty during this holiday season. But we have a very special guest in studio. You know what? No trash can fires, but some fires are in this movie. Yes. Please welcome a How Did This Get Made all-star, How Did This Get Made favorite, Jessica St. Clair. How are you, Jessica? Thank you so much. And you know, if June had to be a ghost...

I feel like I am a good living representation and vice versa. Does that make sense? You would like to give your body to June to possess? That's right. Is this your way of just trying to sleep with Paul? Yes. And he is listening. Who wants to write that up as a screenplay? Oh, no. Let's do it. Let's do it. Oh, I'm possessed by June today. Ew! I want to fuck June, if anybody. Thank you. So do I. June just wrote, so true. Okay.

And so this is like that's like a secret or the secret. What was the Duchovny movie? Oh, yeah. Right. Where he Lily Taylor dies and is in the body of her daughter. And as Lily Taylor, his wife, she keeps trying to in the daughter's body sleep with him. No, that would not be made now. By the way, I think it was only made like three years ago. It was very recent. Dark. Yeah. We need to get you in June to watch that movie. All right. Thank you. Yeah.

This movie has been one that people were very excited that we were coming to watch. Why? Why would they be excited? I was excited. Oh, were you? Because I like some of these movies and I thought, finally, I'm going to be paid back for all the shit you've made me watch that scares me. And then this piece of crap. You're welcome. Which did scare me.

- Don't scare me for the first. - What are you talking about it scared you? - I don't like it when the camera pans like it's a man watching you and also very scared to be going to sleep. And don't make me bring up the story

Of when we were house sitting when we were just 25 and you waited till I went to sleep after I watched a Lifetime movie called May I Take Your Order. Do you remember this? Of course I don't. May I Take Your Order? I don't remember any of this. And also, you watched something called May I Take Your Order? Okay. A Lifetime movie? Quick, quick, quick digression. You're telling me a Lifetime movie got you scared? Quick digression. Oh, God. We were on a plane.

And by the way, that means very long digression. We were on a plane, Jason and I, a JetBlue plane to California when we were just very young. I was young, you were old. And I was watching a Lifetime movie called May I Take Your Order in which somebody was abducting people who were working at a burger restaurant. By the way, June has just chimed in to say Lifetime movies are scary, Jason. Yes, they are. They play to exactly what we're afraid of.

And anyway, Jason said, please do not watch this movie. You can't handle it. And I said, don't tell me what I can or can't do. I'm watching this movie. So then we go to the place, the creepy place that we were house sitting because we had no money. And you waited until I went to sleep because the guy in the movie would tie women up and then whisper to them, may I take your order? And so you waited till I fell asleep like a psycho, crept into my room and whispered, man.

may I take your order into my ear and scare the shit out of me? Yeah. Did you just bleep yourself? Yes. In case kids are listening. Yeah, of course. Kids do tune in for the big holiday episode. They think it's a Hallmark family-friendly podcast. Kids love it. And then suddenly we're just talking about like, you know, like absolute filth. That's right. You're welcome, by the way. June is very upset. She has wrote in all caps, Jason. That's right. I'll be...

the part of June and me. Great. June also wanted to point out that Lifetime does an entire genre of women killing men on Lifetime. It's fascinating, but also lots of men killing women too. That's right. So I don't like it anytime a camera is panning like a man is watching a woman sleep. That's like my worst nightmare. So there was a lot of...

that well it's interesting that you bring this up and you are kind of right because this was originally a lifetime movie that hallmark bought makes perfect sense yeah so it's a little bit of a mix of both i think that hallmark is so jonesing to like have 25 full days of christmas movies we'll buy this one well they're just acquiring and this was i will say this this this was boring

Like I found this, even there's like these wild supernatural elements to it. She goes to the inn and both the ghost story and the romantic story are treated with absolute blasé attitude by every person involved. Well, it's an insane movie because I don't even think I understand it. I rewound this movie multiple times. Like, all right, so wait, what is going on? I mean, it's a ghost story, right?

the ghost. There's like three ghosts. Yeah, there's three. By the end of the movie, there's three ghosts. Technically two ghosts, one corporeal man. Person. But then suddenly at the end, everyone can see the other ghost. Everybody can see all the ghosts all the time. Some ghosts can walk through walls. Some ghosts don't. The rules and even

within the body of the movie, they keep having moments and scenes where people try and explain the rules. And they say things like, the female lead at one point says to the guy, there's gotta be some rules to this. And I was like, yes! Let's figure them out, please! By the way, they give up on even trying to explain it, because at one point it feels like the movie goes meta, and they're like, the curse is weird. Like, this is the scene right here. I'm no expert on curses, but this one seems weird. He's a

Oh, classic. And neither does the writer of this film. Yeah, but there's too many rules for this to be random. There has to be purpose behind it.

We wish. And we wish there was a purpose. I agree. Like, I would believe you if you told me, like, an 11-year-old wrote this script. And, like, that's the level of logic. But there is literally, that seems like the transcript of a note session when the screenwriter has given it to someone else. Like, but it doesn't make any sense. Why can't it go on the property line? So he's this, and he's corporeal for two weeks, and then he's this. How many times are you guys going to use the word corporeal? So many times. Because I've heard.

I have literally not heard that word ever in my life. What? I know it is a word, but I don't want to hear it. By the way, June said, but we can all agree that they had chemistry, right? What? No. No. No. This is a fetish of chemistry.

- If it's a fetish of girls, it must be to fuck a ghost, right? - Is it though? - It must be. - But let me ask you this. - He's not even a ghost! - Why? - Who was the ghost in Patrick? - Why? - Who was the ghost in Ghost? I never thought. - Patrick Swayze. - Yeah, but they were married. - People wanted to fuck that ghost. - They're a married couple though. Their love is real. Like they're married. - June has written, "I've never fucked a ghost." - But do you want to? - But would love to! - How do you know? - She's an unfortunate but would love to. - Because she likes better dead, drop dead Fred. - Guys, he's not a ghost!

Ghosts could be fucking us all the time. Ghosts could be fucking us all the time. We don't know. They fucked Dan Akrid or they gave him a blowjob. Yes, I'm sure. But this ghost was very sweet. I mean, they just kind of kiss. I mean, it is all about that one pet.

Fine, that's hot as hell. There is no sexual chemistry. Oldest day sex is hot. Was this a Canadian movie? Is it possible this movie's Canadian? No, but the actor is French-Canadian. That makes a lot of sense. We went to college with a lot of French-Canadians. To me, it had the chemistry of Canada. It was without...

chemistry. Like there was no erotic. No disrespect to our Canadian listeners. Oh no. Disrespect to our, you know what Canada? Get it together. Wear something sexier. Show us your dongs Canada. Do something with them. God damn it. Stop being so fucking polite. Oh yeah.

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Let's even get into the premise of it, which is our lead actor, Kate, is, and I'm going to bring up June's point right away here, which is... Looks just like Debra Messing. She does. She's Messing-esque. June says, in these movies, every woman who works is considered a workaholic. Yes. Sure. I mean, she didn't seem... First of all, I don't think that they make you like her right away because they have this weird breakup scene where the guy is...

up with her for being too businesslike. And then she's like, oh yeah, I, I just feel like I don't, I didn't want to see this movie about these two characters at all. These are like side characters. Yeah. It sets her up in this way that she's like married to her job. And because of her closed off nature, because she gives the guy this whole speech about every boyfriend who's broken up with her or she's broken up with giving her some sort of, uh,

reason why she's broken. Yeah, some sort of moniker said something to her that has stuck with her about how she's unavailable romantically or emotionally, how she's too difficult to, you know, whatever, whatever. And that that is what you're supposed to believe is like she needs to

Heal something in herself. Break through this, I guess, and it's revealed later it's because of her parents' divorce. Wait a second. That was the most... Because of her parents' divorce? Her parents' divorce is the reason that she... Well, that's not crazy that people could be traumatized. It's not processed at all, though. Then what happened during the parents' divorce? She goes, I'm collateral damage? Collateral damage? Now, listen, Paul had...

Obviously a very tragic childhood. Yes, and he's figured it out. I worked through it. And he worked through it, and we know that. But you're right. She does not learn anything. Zero. Paul has issues. Paul.

Paul has. Paul does has. I mean, like, listen, we've all got issues. Yeah. Pass the tissues. If we're talking about who has the most. But Paul managed to figure out how to have a relationship. How to find love. How to successfully find love. And juggle work. He didn't need to find a ghost to fuck. I would.

And that ghost didn't solve anything for her. That ghost doesn't do anything. The ghost abandoned Lily at the end of the movie. That's tough. Like, tough look for my girl Lily, who's waiting around for a hundred years and he's like, peace, see you later. But by the way, so she's waiting around in the house. He doesn't have a social security number. How's he going to live as a real man? Exactly.

Why? Imagine his life now. He lives as like an alien in the world now. June says, Lily is not alone. She's with her dead newborn. Oh, savage. Oh, man.

Who's taking care of that newborn? Who? Ghost Lily is taking care of ghost Patrick the baby? Like what? And Patrick the man is meanwhile fucking Kate in the real world just giving her the ghost biz? But why is Lily even haunting the house? Why is Lily there? Why is Lily there? She was giving him a gift. Oh, I...

That final, I don't know, eighth of the movie made no sense. No. You always split movies into eighths. You got it. A lot of people talk about movies in acts. Three acts. It's a three-act structure. People talk about it in eighths now. Yeah, where is the eighth? Oh, is that the final? You know that new screenwriting book, The Eighth Act. What?

What is wrong with you? Guys. Ooh, it had me at the first eighth. The second and third eighth, I didn't enjoy at all. Eighth number four, electric. The fifth eighth was not great. Sixth eighth, terrific. Seventh eighth was actually terrible. The eighth eighth really brought it home. Okay. Okay.

My point is, at the end, Lily said, what Patrick says, she's given me a gift, which is to heal his anger. Was his anger that he was killed? Which, by the way, legit. Weird.

Where is he the other 350 days of the year? In a nightmare that he never wakes from. Yeah, he's in some sort of limbo state, I believe. All right, so he is, but is he conscious or in just darkness? I would have loved to have seen that. I would have loved to have seen that. I would have loved to have gotten a glimpse of whatever other side he exists in. Me too. I know, because it seems like... And have it be terrifying. And by the way, it isn't a witch that cursed him. It was just...

Patrick, but Patrick didn't curse him either. No, Lily trapped him. Lily trapped him there is what I think. With her love? No, because he needed to learn the lesson of like that what really happened. She didn't want him to cross over being pissed at her or thinking that. Why? Wouldn't he just find her there? I don't know what the rules are. June says that she thinks he's sleeping. Oh God. What? That's not true.

That's not a nightmare. The point of the movie is he never sleeps, June. Oh, my God. This is why. Well, he never sleeps because he's sleeping like for 350 plus days a year. But I agree with Kate. It is weird when he stays in her room watching her sleep. That was creeps it. But she like wanted it. Oh, she's horny for it. But then he like looks over his shoulder and goes, good night, Kate. Oh, yeah. Like he's just going to be jerking it while she's sleeping. He's like stoned.

Is that like a fantasy for women that they want to be like watched while they sleep by a ghost man that they want to? I don't know. June says, admit it. It was sexy. What? No. No. It was not sexy. No. Nothing was sexy. Although Kate, too, for a no-nonsense lawyer from Boston who is told repeatedly that there's a ghost in the house. Yeah. What?

over and over and over again meets the ghost and does not believe it's a ghost. Wait, wait. But here's my thing. Who is the ghost that's been scaring away... The cousin who killed him. The cousin who killed him. All right, the cousin doesn't want the house to sell. Why? No, Cousin Harry... Doesn't want the house to sell? Cousin is just...

Is a scary ghost. He's just a ghost. He's just a scary ghost. He's trapped there. He's trapped in that network. Because he murdered. Okay. Right. And he doesn't want to cross over for fear of judgment. So Daniel has never scared a person coming in to price out the house. I believe not.

Okay. Right? No. Because later on he goes, you can come in. Because Kate later says, he's the one that's been scaring away everybody. Cousin Harry? Yeah. Okay. But why also, why does the innkeeper, who I'm also fascinated with. Oh, he's the scariest character. Who's that?

This motherfucker is every, I would say, these movies, oftentimes it's like they want like a little small town New England-y type of movie. They want it to feel like Stars Hollow, like populated by oddballs and weirdos. And the inn is the focal point for all the weirdos.

Every person, every townsperson in this movie is more boring than the last. Oh my gosh. I mean, he is so boring. The innkeeper is flat. His city. I mean, there's a little bit of community theater going on here. I think they hire local for the smaller parks. In where? In Canada? Yes.

I think some of those people are probably in stage versions of Anne of Green Gables, of which I've seen many. The brother literally looks out as if he's playing to an audience. Oh, yeah. Like a community theater audience. When the brother and Lily in the fifth eighth of the movie are on the porch and he's like saying, and he's saying, he's not coming back. And she was saying, you know, like, I want him to be, he said he'd be here by Christmas Eve. He...

starts to touch her head and face. And he pushes it. So he's repeatedly cramming. You're screaming, I'm screaming. Screaming. I gotta take it down a notch. Okay, fine.

cramming her face. Why is he grabbing her head like that? He's grabbing her head so much. And then he does it again. Oh, he does it. It's like his, he's like, you know what this guy would do? Grab her head and force it to his shoulder over and over and over again. That's how you comfort someone. June says that the other jurors are looking at her because the sound coming out of her phone is so loud. June just is weighing in on some of the actors. She said, cop is terrible. So is tavern owner. Daniel is wonderful. No, no. I will say this, that-

That the tavern, or not the tavern owner, I'll get to her. She's a snooze. Snooze. Why would you ever want to be with her? We are just demolishing people here. No, it's not.

It's not them. It's the characters they were written. And everything in it is flat. Everything. Why does the innkeeper leave for 12 days to leave this man all by himself? It seems like that's a death. That's what's crazy. Then he comes back and plays like Baccarat with them or chess or whatever. Baccarat? What do you think they are? Like in Monaco? June just threw down the gauntlet. Baccarat? And she said, June just came and defended it. She said, it wasn't the writing. It is the acting. I'm sorry. Oh boy.

I love that you think they're playing Baccarat. Baccarat? What are you talking about? They're not like, like, oh, they're like literally in a casino in Monaco playing Baccarat. I don't know what that is. You don't. I don't know. Hang on. They're playing Orchard.

Hang on. Describe the game Baccarat and how it's played. How do you guess? There's a board. Is it a card game or a dice game? It's a checkered board and you throw dice on it or something. I don't know what. That's Baccarat. I don't care what Baccarat is. My point is he clearly. James Bond is always bring me the checkered board. Bring me my checkered board and dice. It's time for Baccarat.

Well, Blofeld. Here's a really fucked up scene, though, when the two of them are just hanging and drinking and talking about how, like, the girls are going to get. And she sees, like, Kate's going to come back for you and all that. And, like, don't worry. Like, she wants that ghost dick. And, like, you're going to. And that's fucking crazy. But then everybody's taking the tavern owner out for a spin at that party. But the guy taking her for a spin looks like he's 16 years old.

I mean, by the way, there's something going on in this town that is bad because that cop literally interrupts their dance in mid-kiss. Why was that happening? Why did he cut in at that point? Guys, guys, when's the last time you saw him?

When was the last time you waltzed with somebody? They were doing the box dance. They were terrible dancers. Terrible. Okay, the most romantic scene when Daniel and Kate are sharing a dance at the Christmas Eve dance party, which is now happening at the inn, right? Because the tavern is flooded? And yes, and everybody from the inbred town that they live in is there dancing with their relatives who they also fuck.

And literally, Daniel and Kate are having their most romantic moment. They're going in for the kiss, and the cop is like...

Tap, tap, tap. Time for me to cut in. Doopy doopy doopy doop. Like, I don't even think people cut in anymore in modern day. People also don't waltz. People also... No, everyone is waltzing. June wants to know, why did the tavern... Oh, June wrote fucking pig about the cop butting in. Something was wrong with him. She goes, why is the tavern flooded? It never rained. Interesting. Oh, yeah, that's true. No, Piper, she said. Oh, Piper. Yeah. But I mean, but by the way...

So they, I don't know what's going on. I also had an issue. Like, they have to sell this place so quickly, but why not just leave it to the innkeeper? Like, give them a night. Like, that's a kind of a dick move. No, because a trust owns it. Oh, but I mean, couldn't the trust before they died, like, you know what? Hey, guys, we're putting things in our will. Like, let's give it to the innkeeper. He's been there every. I mean, the old lady who died, who owned it. Who was she? We never understood who she was. She's the granddaughter. Of Lily? Of Lily.

The granddaughter of Lily. We never see her. No, no, I know. But she's the one who dies. Right, right, right. But who? Oh. Oh, and by the way, he goes, I don't know what a Christmas tree is. What? Christmas tree. Like, Daniel was like, what is that tree on top of your vehicle? Your auto. Yeah. Yeah.

Christmas trees, I looked it up, came out in the 16th century. So, yeah, it's not like they're just having a full on Christmas party. He also keeps referring to the innkeeper's cell phone as your special device, but knows how to turn the alarm on and off effortlessly. Guys, I thought this was an ad for ADT. Really? There is a close up of that ad.

beep boop beep boop like 16 times like why do they feature that fucking security so that so that you're they're making sure you know that it's off and on and off and on but like he seemed he also didn't seem like he was from the 20s i guess or whatever it's supposed to be oh no issues his hair his hair is crazy his hair you know what this reminded me of what was colin farrell rides a horse

What was that? Yeah. Wasn't that a ghost movie that we did? We saw with Andy Daly did the podcast. It was like a New York movie. I forget. Wasn't that also like time travel lovers nonsense? Yes. I'm in love with a ghost. Jessica Brown Finley. I remember this. I remember. I don't remember any details besides it being in like old New York and then time travel and like racing on a horse. Yeah, and he's on a horse and there's carriages and but then it's also modern day, I think.

To me, it's like his hair at certain points later in the movie gets more old-timey, but starts out very of the now. Listen, I know one thing, and that's the olden days. Okay.

And I was and I the one thing that upsets me is when you have a haircut that's too modern. When you speak too modern. Now, I felt like, oh, he had a from a barber shop. Yeah. And he looked like he was in a boy band. And it also looked like they had gone to whatever costume rental. Oh, yeah. Just said, like, fuck it. We'll take it. By the way, I feel like it was like.

costume rental adjacent. It was sort of like, this kind of looks right. It was like, Hey, I don't want to go to like a costume place to get a fancy costume for this old timey party. Right. But I think I have this Brown blazer. It reminds me of, I had an olden days Christmas party I hosted for girls. And there was a mulled wine. This was about probably nine years ago. Okay. Nice. And I said, please, I did not say come in costume. I just said, this is an olden days themed party. June, June,

dressed like one of the wives from those Mormon communities. Like a sister wife? Like a sister wife. It was so upsetting. She was the only person dressed up, but it looked like she had gone through her closet, oh, this long skirt, this, and I'll button it up. And that's what the people in this movie look like. Well, yeah. The olden days people. I totally agree. June also says that she remembers being there for that party and that Daniel looked like a Brooklyn barista. Yeah.

Like one of those stovepipers, steam pipers. Or he looks like one of those guys that does fancy barbershop, like a steampunk barbershop. Yes. And I have to say something. This guy wastes so much time for the 12 days that he's corporeal there. He just reads. He just reads. He fucking irons. Guess what I'm doing if I'm corporeal for only 12 days? Jerking off constantly. Fucking and jerking off constantly. Yeah.

Like top to bottom. Here's the thing, Hallmark. That's the movie to make. It's a horny ghost. It's a ghost fuck-up. It's a horny ghost who 12 days a year gets to fuck his brains out. But the first day, his true love shows up. What's he gonna do? Bye.

But I mean, here's the thing, like of all the things they could have saddled Kate with, like to be this like probate lawyer. Low stakes. It just low stakes. Like make her a historian, a local teacher, somebody who understands like the history so she can maybe connect with them. And she's always wanted to. Give her some connection to the town. Anything.

She's like, she is plopped. She is like, I guess it's a fish out of water, blah, blah, blah. But like, give her some agency within the story itself. Do you think they didn't have the budget to leave the home? Oh, of course not. Right? So that's it. Of course not. And those exterior shots looked miserable. They were always like, can we bundle her up, put another blanket on her? They looked so cold, so uncomfortable. Well, Kate was a replacement casting because the first actress died in the snow.

Because they had craft service outside. She, like, went out to get a mini Twix and RIP'd herself. She just deprived.

mini Twix rubber frozen and they still fed it to Daniel because he was number one on the call sheet. So also this movie does the thing, the trope that I'm obsessed with that. Side pony. Side pony. Oh, fuck that side pony and that fit and flare dress. What the fuck was that? Were we hiding thighs I never saw? Because I was like, who made this choice? She looks, I mean, that dress, I mean, what?

what's going on? Why is she getting that dressed up for this party that looks like maybe it's attended by 10 people? She's automatically connected to this town. Well, she arrives and on day one, the innkeeper and the ghost are like, well, I guess we got to tell her.

Yeah, about the whole ghost story, which, by the way, she should not be trusted. And then B, they tell her and she is legit unfazed. No. Nobody – there are so many people in this movie that talk to a ghost and are legit nonplussed. This is why I'm so glad I've never seen an alien because I –

I don't want to see that because then I would lose my fucking mind. You know what I'm saying? No. You can't bounce back from seeing a ghost. You can't. That means you're separate from the rest of humanity. Can I ask you a real question? Yeah. Real talk. Do you believe in ghosts? No. Yes. No. June wants me to reveal that I've seen a ghost. What are you talking about, Paul? All right.

I did see a ghost. Where? What? All right, now here's the crazy thing about this story. You got to listen to the first part, and then the second part is important. So I was camping out.

In the hallway Of my Of my house When I was a kid This is so sad So I was camping out in the hallway By yourself By yourself By myself Like just not sleeping Just free soloing Yeah like just Had a I had my sleeping bag out in the hallway The hallway Leading from my bedroom To my parents' bedroom So it was like How old are you in this story? Like 15, 20 By the way

I want to bring one thing down to basics here. I am getting constantly attacked about French kissing my mom. You're the one that did it. You're the one that flipped her the tongue. People keep on saying it like as I was doing it. What do you mean you flipped her the tongue?

kissed your mom. I tried to do it after I saw a Love Boat episode when I was a young kid. Oh my God! He went, he saw, he watched a Love Boat episode with his mom and then afterwards slipped her the tongue when kissing her goodnight. Paul, the fact that you are not in a mental insane asylum is like amazing. I didn't know the difference of kisses. I didn't know. That's how they kissed for the next year. I tried. I tried. Tried.

I was like, my mom reacted. You got to try. You got to try. You don't know who's going to be receptive. You got to try. I'm so upset right now.

the rules of kissing I was a child a little child I was 15 years old 15 is not a child what 15 it's a child 15 and french kissing your mom 15 is when you've already french kissed a person it's no big deal no I was very young but um so I was I was young I was camping out in my hallway and um

And I saw this presence. It was a woman in a white dress with a blue like hood. And she was over me. It was very peaceful. It was very quiet. And she just put her hands out like this.

And I stood and I made eye contact with her for a couple of, you know, felt like a while, but it was probably very short. And then I got up and she wasn't there. So it wasn't like I was awake. I saw the whole thing. Okay. Hang on. Yes. Were you previous to this woman appearing in front of you possibly asleep? Yes.

Okay. So I like all this happened while you were brushing your teeth. Did this happen while you were in bed? Possibly asleep. It happened while I was camping on the hallway asleep. Okay. I woke up because I felt something. I looked up and felt like I was being stared at. And I was by this, this very angelic image of a woman above me. Now it's something that's always stuck out to me in my grand scheme of whatever, like one of those things that burnt into my head. Sure. Now,

Many years later, about four or five years ago, I am at this event with –

A regular person. And we got... We start talking about... What do you mean by regular? What's a regular person? Like, not like... What do you mean a regular person? I guess I revealed that he was a regular person before I, like, told you what he was going to tell me. A corporeal person. A corporeal person. But no, like, he's not like... Oh, is this guy a ghost? He's not a medium. He's not a ghost person. Okay. He just said to me, we were talking and he said, you know, I... As we were talking about other things, he's like, yeah, I have this kind of...

psychic connection. I do feel like I see ghosts. And I was like, really?

And he goes, you saw a ghost when you were a kid. Oh, boy. And described the image to me. With the hood? What did he say, though? He said, a woman standing at your feet in a white outfit with a blue hood when you were a child. You saw this. Now, Paul, are you sure? Because I know a lot of times people retell these things differently because it's like, you know, he said blue hood. Yes, I understand. I understand. I understand. He said blue hood. Yes. He just, like, it took my breath away because it was...

And like, he said, he's an empath. That's what he sees when he looked into me that he saw that I saw. Was that spirit attached to you still like a bogey? I mean, the way I felt, the way I felt it to be was that it was almost like out of my feet, like standing on my feet. If my feet were like that, like she was standing on my feet. But then do you think though, this is a real question. Do you think though that that man, let's take for, let's take for like, like let's assume the validity of both of these stories. Yes.

Like, if you said to that man, how do you know that? Would he say, oh, because she's still right there. That's what I mean. She's been with you the whole time. Did he see the person on it? Well, and that's what I kind of asked him. Like, are you in the presence of this blue hooded woman all of your life? Is she here now? And you just had that one moment, that one glimpse. Right. Or, yeah, I don't know. Gene said maybe she's here right now. Like, and that's what I. Is she single? No.

I'm asking for a friend. Maybe it's the ghost you've been waiting for all your life. I'm not having luck with alive girls. You're not having luck in the corporeal world. So, like, you keep using corporeal. I'm not sure why. But I would love it. Maybe I need to open up. Maybe I need to get on one of these dating apps that connects me with ghosts. It's not a bad idea. Yeah. I'm just swiping on Spectre. Honestly, no.

Your commitment issues are so great. I feel like 12 days a year might be all you can handle. Too much. You know what? Back off. Too much. You're smothering me. Literally, because I can feel you pressing on my chest while I sleep. And look, I can see all the reasons, truthfully, why. No, that is a crazy story, Paul. But the addition to it really freaked me the fuck out. I buy it. And so did you jump up from your camping in the hallway and jump into your mom's bed and make yourself feel better?

I would never get in the bed with her. You know, she had her husband there that night. Oh, right. And he didn't know about you guys? No. We had to keep it on the DL. Now I'm just begging to be attacked. Now you're playing into it. I know.

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She comes into the inn, picks up a picture of him that looks like the lawyer. Sorry. Sorry. The lawyer picks a picture of the ghost, looks at it. It looks like a picture that has an Instagram filter on it, stares at it. And then when she meets him, just me,

Moments later. Yeah, moments later, she's like, oh, who are you? She assumes he's a real person. You've just seen his picture. Right. That's what was weird to me because either have him appear as a human being because he is, again, he's not like a specter in this instance of these 12 days. He's a living, breathing human man.

Let her discover him assuming it's a man and have to figure out he's a ghost. Right. But the reality is if you see her see the picture and then see him side by side, and then there's newspaper clippings on the wall with pictures of him. Or I think.

Oh, okay. We've seen enough Scooby-Doos to know that people hire people that look like maybe he's an actor they hired. You look a lot like him. Maybe the innkeeper doesn't want people to... Sure. Maybe they're trying to chase away people. Like, they don't investigate... Give me a misdirect. They don't investigate at all. Everybody is so...

Oh, okay. I mean, everything is so slow. It takes place in a world where ghosts exist. I mean, like, this is the scene where she talks to the innkeeper about the ghost. Kate, with Patton and Turner, I'm here for the property appraisal. Yes. Mr. Murray arrived early, left early, too. What happened? It was probably the ghost.

Come on, man. Probably the ghost. Though Daniel has never harmed anyone, every once in a while he does assert himself. What does that mean? You're on a first-name basis with the ghost? No, when you've worked here as long as I have. Daniel Jacob Forsythe.

- He once owned this inn many years ago. - He basically lays out the premise and then minutes later, she sees him and here's the other thing. He just debunked our theory. That means that Daniel is scaring away the people but yet he has not appeared there yet because

So maybe he's a ghost for some of the year and then he's corporeal for 12 years? No, the cousin is the guy, the ghost that's... But he says, he just said Daniel... He doesn't know. We're meant, we as well as everybody else, spends most of the movie believing Daniel is the only ghost haunting the house. So this guy gets... What we find out at the end, M. Night Shyamalan, which apparently is blowing your mind right now, which is shocking, is...

No, I get it. Is that Harry is the ghost who's malicious. Okay, I guess I thought like,

I was thinking about a face value that like, that he had some sort of like conversation with Daniel. Daniel's like, I don't want you to sell the house because later on they do talk. He's like, don't sell the hat. Like it is confusing. They seem to be bros. Yeah. Yeah. But yet he leaves them alone for 12 days instead of like, let me bring people in. Let me hang. Yeah. Let me tell you what went on this last year. Why don't you like jerk off and fuck while you're like, like, you know, like when Ben Grimm isn't the thing for one day. Yeah. He's,

He's got to get laid. He's got to get his dick wet. By the way, this is... Because it's finally not made of stone. Honestly, the person most turned on by ghost sex at this table is you. Yes! I'm into it. I'm going to... Listen, I'm not lying. Like...

I'm into like a bunch of sexy lady ghosts. Like I could see you doing that eye roll that Dan Aykroyd did in Ghostbusters. I would say that this movie also was shot so fucking quickly. There's a scene when Daniel, the ghost or corporeal man gets up to move his like plate and his knife falls on the ground and you

The scene just keeps on going. Nobody cares. No, it's like, let's go. Leave it behind. Leave it. Leave it. Keep going. There are moments in this thing where I feel like people are like, I kind of flubbed that take. We got it. We got it. We got to go. Everybody is just acting as though they can barely remember their lines.

You know what I mean? Like they're trying hard to remember. What was the line? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yep. Here we go. Let's take it. Take it back. You know. Also, her hair is not red to begin with. And then as soon as she arrives at the end, she's got a red wash in it. I don't know if they shot things. June wanted me to ask you. She says all Hallmark heroines have a very specific blowout. Oh, well, too many layers. Yeah. Absolutely.

Absolutely too many layers. But now I thought this was a current movie. And now I realize it was 2015. Yeah. It was coming out of a Jennifer Aniston. I mean, it's like kind of an old school. 2015? Yeah, that's when it came out. That's not Jennifer Aniston. You're right. You mean like Friends Jennifer Aniston? Like the late 90s? Yes. You mean like 18 years before? No, I understand that, but it was such a classic that...

It's stuck around, especially for the Hallmark crowd. Well, yeah, I was going to say, it might have just gotten to Canada. That's true.

They're still like, are Ross and Rachel going to get back together? This is shot in your neck of the woods in Massachusetts. Oh, was it? Yes. Where? Do you know? I do know, actually. This was, it was filmed at the historic Proctor Mansion located in Rentham, Massachusetts. Oh, yeah. And the Harding Allen Estate located in Barr, Massachusetts. Okay. While the real Proctor Mansion Inn does not have a ghost story, there is a mystery surrounding the inn. Hmm.

Juicy. Yeah. By the way, this, you know, I just, again, want to get to the chunk of this thing, which is Kate has no one in her life, no one to go home to. Are her parents dead?

I mean, they're divorced. She's collateral damage. Did they divorce her? Does she talk to her mom on the phone at one point or no? She doesn't. No. It's the lead up to Christmas and she has no communication with either of her parents. I thought, give me a monologue. They must be dead. They divorced her. They divorced. They're still together, but they divorced her. She's collateral damage. We were better without you. Her parents dumped her. It would seem like

She's got two options. Good options. Go with her mom or her dad. Or go with that head of the law firm who wears those cool Hawaiian shirts. By the way, it was like they shot him in the darkest room in a Hawaiian chair. In a rattan chair. Oh, again, I was going to bring this up before. I just have to bring it up. And at one point, someone will just say, yes, Paul, I hear you. But it is the fact that I hate these people.

Christmas movies where everyone's having their office company party on Christmas Eve. That's crazy. I've been around... That's a time for family, not for, like, corporate work parties. Not Christmas Eve. Nobody's ever had an office party ever in the history of America on Christmas Eve. Also, you would be the worst...

Yes. Also, that office, a thriving law office, appears to just have the two of them in it and not be able to see or look at other offices or other people. And an old fax machine. The movie can't afford extras. The movie can't afford office space. June can afford a lot of extra snow. They're like, this is great for the production value. I was worried.

I'm worried about their lungs, honestly, with all that extra snow. Too much. June just wanted to slam me and say that I haven't been around that many corporations. But still, I mean, it's still...

I still think the Christmas Eve party is a misnomer. It's not a thing. It's not like... No, it's a holiday party is usually... Holiday party, yes. You know, late... In the late teens, early 20s of December. Yes. No one's like, hey, so we're just going to get everybody together at the law firm tonight. Yeah, like... Get away from your family. Figure your shit out at home. Unless you're Scrooge McDuck. Yes, totally. Because then he usually has... Friend of the pod. I wrote that in. I mean...

He's so great. We try to record in his giant safe, but we always are hearing that money, that chain rattling. By the way, I wrote down this. This movie made me want to go to bed. Not like fall asleep, but literally... So you could see your ghost? Oh, I'd love to see it. But to literally get snuggled up in a bed. I felt the bed work in this movie was at an all-time high. Here's what I will say that I enjoyed...

I love like a cozy New England inn in the snow. Like that, like to your point of like... The dragonfly? I love that. Oh, please. Don't get me started. Give me Suki's meals at the dragonfly. Come on now. Give me the upstairs room with doors, please. Does Suki make pancakes in the oven? Like this guy did? That was strange. Open up the oven. Here we go. Here's a plate of pancakes. I love that.

I'm assuming made them and then was just keeping them warm in the oven? How many people are you making pancakes for? It didn't even date a morning rush. None of any of this movie made it. There was, what is there, seven actors in the movie? That's right. Tops. I'm going to look at what the IMDb list is because it really can't be that much. How much? What's, I mean, yeah, I don't know. And I'm assuming they just feel like these Hallmark movies, they have to come in at a certain budget. So this is what they're doing. I mean, it's absolutely.

hour and 30 minutes on the nose. All right, let's see how many. Also, if you fast forward, which I did, any of the establishing shots, that cuts 40 minutes out of the movie. Oh, by the way, there is so, I wrote that down too. There is so much wasted. 11. 11 speaking roles. 11 speak. That is. Wow. In a full film. That's shocking. That's shocking.

And by the way, I'm looking at some of them and I don't even remember them. Some of them don't even have pictures next to their... Yes, of course. Yeah, so... It's crazy. There is so much wasted time in establishing shots, so much wasted time within scenes, lingering on set deck, lingering on, like, stuff. She plays... She just wants me to point out that Hallmark and Lifetime does pay its actors well, and they always put them up in four-season accommodations. Well, obviously...

Why aren't we getting offers? June and I would gladly go do a three day film. By the way, here's what I'm going to say. Hallmark, give us a movie. The four of us. This is it. That would be great. A Christmas movie that's the four of us and we all fuck ghosts. We all fuck. There's four of us and we are correspondent to four ghosts. June's in. She says, oh my God, I would love that. Oh, this movie is...

is really trying to pull off this twist. And I think that that's what's so weird about it is the love story is not working for me. Nope. I don't get it. And then the twist is,

is convoluted. You get it, but... What's the twist? Oh, the second ghost. Sorry, sorry, sorry. The second and third because Lily is also a twist. Lily's hanging out as well. And she's able to bring him... She touches him with his hand. Lily can grab Patrick's hand, but Patrick can't see Lily, but Patrick can see Harry? And this is the first time he's...

seen harry in 95 years lily has never appeared to him has never thought well that's the weirdest thing no jim just keeps on writing who is patrick who is patrick what do you mean is that his name is that his name i think that's his name patrick is daniel well one is his brother right patrick is the brother and then harry is the one oh wait a minute what's the lead guy's name daniel daniel

Daniel. Oh, I'm saying Patrick by mistake. Sorry, everybody. Sorry. Yeah. Okay. June is confused. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Daniel. Cousin Henry. Brother Charles. Cousin Henry is the murderer. Daniel. Prince Harry. Prince William. Cousin. Is it Henry or? Princess Meghan. What is it about inns that is, give ladies boners? Ladies love. Here's what ladies love. Ghosts. Yeah. Inns. Yeah. You know, um.

Ghost inns at a foreign location and then quitting their job. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like under the Tuscan sun or whatever. No, what's it called? A year in front. No. Oh, yeah. Under the Tuscan sun. Yeah, thank you. June said, horny for inns. Love it all. But why?

Why? Why? I'm not in. I don't like a B&B. I hate it. No, I don't like it. I hate having the conversation. You know what I mean? A B&B rather. Because you know what? Those people want to talk to you. I don't like that. And guess what? I hate people. Oh, I get so much guilt for not being down for the breakfast. Oh, I don't want that. We missed you at breakfast. Yeah, because I'm on vacation and I slept. Yeah, I don't want to be there. And they're all listening to you fuck.

All they do is listen to you fuck. Because all you're in is their old daughter's former room. She's in college now and I get to fuck in her room? I went on like a romantic trip to a B&B and it was not fun. The theme of the room was like... The theme? Oh yeah. There's always themes and there's always a tub, a freestanding tub in the middle of the room. And there's always stuffed animals. Always stuffed animals. June is asking when did I go on the romantic trip. I was just going to say. Woo!

Who did you go on it with? Your mom? Oh, hey, hey, hey. Nailed it. Which I'm also on, guys. Check out Nailed It. Jason on Nailed It. Nailed It, holiday season. What? I was so jealous. Yeah. To see you as a contestant. That was a very high, very big highlight for me this year. I screamed. I was, I,

been trying to get on Nailed It. No joke. I can help you get that. It's all I want. They don't want me. We can do that very easily. They don't want me. No, they want you. I'm gonna. Wait, did you do something to them? Possibly. But holy shit. And you in that tux, did you wait? Are you talking

You're talking about... There's a new one now. Yeah. There's a second one, yeah. There's a second one that just came out. The holiday... The holiday... I can't wait. Holiday season two. Holiday season... Yeah, that's all it's called. Yeah. It has just come out and... Can't wait. Yeah. It's a lot of fun. And I am a contestant. Jason is a judge. Not on the same episode. Not on the same episode, yeah. But... Oh, man, that was a stressful day. That was a very... Was it? Oh, God, yeah. It was incredibly... Because...

I, you know, they were very nice to me. They wanted me to be a judge. And I said, I really want to be a contestant. Can I do it? And then they said to me, all right, you can go on. And I said, well, here's my bit. I want to play a pharmacist from Pasadena. I'll say my name is Ted. And then Nicole the whole time would be like, but you look like my friend Paul. And I'm like, I don't know who that is. And I recorded a video and I did all my intros. And then they said, you know what? You do have to do it as yourself. I'm glad that that change was made. By the way, yes. Absolutely.

I think it would have been, it would have been weirder. It would have been too weird. I think for the nailed it audience, which is a lovely audience, but it would have been weird. It would have been so confusing. It's such a funny bit, right? Like so many, so many of nailed its fans, which I love are like eight year old. Well, I just, I just, is my daughter, my six year old daughter now thinks Paul is a celebrity. Yeah. What about me? Doesn't care about you. But I would,

I would think that that kind of bait and switch of your identity would be much like the confusing nature of this movie. Yes. Like, where are the rules of Nailed It? And why, yeah, why did we... What are the rules? Why would we do it like this? Why are you there, but you're a real person? But I feel like in Nailed It, people react honestly, versus in this, the reactions are not honest at all. People should be, when they meet Daniel, losing their entire mind. That's right. Oh, yeah. I mean, but this whole movie...

I mean, maybe she's working so hard that she's just like, I mean, sometimes I feel like this, like, you know, like, all right, what's the next thing? All right, I'll just take it. I'm just taking it on the chin. I got to I got to keep on moving forward. I don't have time to react. Also, it can't again, low stakes. She wants a promotion. So she's willing to spend 12 days in a haunted mansion where a ghost could. By the way, she doesn't need to spend.

12 days there. She doesn't need to spend any time there. No, she doesn't. She doesn't need to do any of this stuff. Like, so she can't, I mean, I guess she's like, she's, you know, saving, pinching her pennies. So she's not staying in a local place. No, but after the first night where she believes there is a man in the house that is hiding, she doesn't get the fuck out of there.

No, and she calls the sheriff to come over. He's like, it's all clear. She walks in the house. He's there again. June wants to go. June says, I'll ask again because I haven't been saying it. She goes, why does this have to happen in a week? And I can answer that because it needs to be done before taxes are handed in because they don't want to get taxed. Again, who cares? I mean, the estate of the old lady, I guess. I guess. Gotta save money on those, you know, estate taxes. Oh, my God. I mean, then here's the...

I mean, so he gets dealt with this final question. Yeah. Does he stay? Yes. Or does he go? So he's able to, Lily gives him an option. Like, you can stay, you can come to the afterlife with me, your true love. You fucked me up.

In our real life, you fucked me over. Yes. By rum running. Yep. And then I died having your baby. Heartbroken. Heartbroken. And now I had to watch you kiss-

But just gently kiss. I mean, this is like a Hallmark movie. This is like a handhold and a peck. Yes, agreed. But question, why does she fall asleep? Yes. Almost immediately. There are... I'm not kidding. There are... Is this another fantasy for women? Yes.

the man, ghost man Daniel puts Kate to bed like a child three different times. Sometimes you just want that. We're very tired. Do you want a man to put you into bed? Like in your street clothes?

I mean, she's always in her street clothes. She's always in street clothes. That's how I knew this movie was cold because she's like in four layers under a big sheet. He tucks her in repeatedly like she's a baby. It's infantilizing. I kind of do want to be put to bed. No! June wants to be put to bed too. What? No, that's insane. June has asked me to tuck her in. I feel like at a certain point, you're so tired that you wouldn't mind being tucked in someone to just have sex.

- I can have sex with you while you're half asleep. - That's a difference, that makes sense. - And just like, because then you don't have to do anything. - That I understand, but-- - You just kind of are, you're just sort of there. - You're just sort of there. - But that's just like, I don't wanna have to do, I want my needs to be met without having to ask for it. - But Kate-- - Tuck me in and I'll lay there like a dead rat. - Tuck me and fuck me, that's the t-shirt.

Oh, my God. All right. So June also wants to say, like, she feels like Lily is mad at him for the wrong reasons. Like, he was rum running to save the inn because no one was coming because of the influenza and the economy. And she's just pissed that he's not making it back for Christmas Eve. For Christmas?

Who cares? For that party that looks like they couldn't afford extra, so they have to do most of it on the- Wait, did he know, did Daniel know that she was pregnant? No. I don't think so. Because that was his misunderstanding. And did she know that she was pregnant when he got killed? Did he only have that misunderstanding? By the way, she should have been a podcast host who's doing a true crime thing like, ooh, that would have been great. Smart would have been great. Smart. I like that. We can limetown this, guys. Mm-hmm.

But did Daniel know about the kid or was it a reveal? But when that other, when the tavern owner was like, did you know that she had a kid? It was a reveal. I think it was a reveal, but he knew, he felt like she had betrayed him with his brother because he saw that porch scene. Remember the cold open of the movie is him watching that same handsy head porch scene. But the moment that that boring woman in a sheath dress

The tavern owner says that there was a baby. We all knew it was his, right? No. Oh, no. You thought. Oh, yes. Oh, I see what you're saying. Why did it take them another four eighths of the movie, which is a half, to find out about that? That's bad. Well, here's the thing. He has in all of his years of coming back for 12 days, he's

Even though he says he did, he never gets to the root of any of the information except because it's not until – He says Cousin Harry helped him research it. And so now we know he was like – he's the one who organized the killing. I'm assuming. Yeah, but June just brought up a good point, which I'm kind of confused by, but I'm going to read it out loud. She says, why did Daniel have sex outside of his marriage? He should answer for that. And I go, wait, when did he have sex? With who?

And then to get Lily pregnant, to have his child with Lily. But I mean, that is kind of crazy. Yeah. Not his marriage. Oh, you mean like, well, no, she was his fiance. That's what I thought, too. He was. Yeah, they were going to they were to be married, I believe. But outside this marriage. But she goes, but still. But still, that's true. At that time, that wasn't the right thing. But I think a lot of people did it. I think a lot of people did it.

But here's my question. Is the reason why Lily is so aggro about him coming back because she is pregnant, she knows she's pregnant? Yes. But hasn't told him? Correct. Correct.

And is maybe going to tell him on Christmas? I mean, like, that's the thing. Who knows? I would have loved to be like, she was going to tell me. What's the story? There is no story. You know, like, there's no, like, this should have a mythology to it, this movie. You know, this should have. They don't have time. They don't have, they simply don't have time. I mean, because this is how it kind of ends up, which is the lamest response or the biggest, like, throw it all in.

Which is this.

Why? Why? Because now, by the way, now Lily has shown up. Right. But he can only see Lily. Only he can see Lily? Yeah, because she shows up and then this guy who killed him doesn't look over. Can Kate see him? Can Kate see Lily? I think Kate can see the killer and Daniel, but not Lily. Why? What are the rules? Because she's looking at him, nodding. If fear is what's keeping you here, Harry, then I forgive you.

I also like that Harry is still in a scarf and a hat. He's so hot during the show. Oh, my God. But everyone's like, more layers, more layers. Well, that, I mean, there it is. But guys, I still don't really understand. I don't either. Lily. What's the gift? What's the gift? What's the gift? To heal all the wrong. The miracle. What's the miracle?

Like, I don't understand. What does that mean? The miracle is so that he would find out and understand that she loved him. She didn't betray him. She was going to have his child, et cetera, et cetera. Is that what she needs him to know? Is that what makes him restless? I guess so. Yeah.

I don't know. That doesn't make any sense. It's dumb. This is a dumb movie. You know what? We have this opinion about this film, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions. The movie was a piece of shit. Yet this person recommends it. Tell me what is the message that artists objected. I need a second opinion.

Thank you, Jean Lajoie. And here are our second opinions. Colt from Amazon.com. There are 580 reviews of this film. Whoa! 86% are five-star reviews. Only 1% are one-star reviews. This is higher than most of the films that we do on this show. The average rating is 4.8 out of five stars. Crazy!

Let's get into it. Jay Ianchi writes, good story, good acting. The British believe in ghosts. So this story is rather British and very well told. All the characters are well acted rationally. So they made the story almost believable. If your ideas about ghosts are very rational. I found the movies made for a lifetime terribly primitive, but this one is good due to the acting. Fantastic.

Five stars. This is a man who wrote this? I don't know. Jay and Achi. Okay. Um, and then, uh, I, I didn't read this one part. It goes, I enjoyed it at first. I purchased it for my family and they agreed. Oh, wow. Uh,

NGM writes, I've come to really enjoy this movie. Being a grief educator, I felt like it had a lot to say about grief and loss and unresolved issues as well as love within ourselves. Even if it was a fictional story, the music is quite peaceful and restful.

I did think to myself that I would maybe purchase this soundtrack and play it while making Christmas cookies. What are you talking about? This is a great movie to relax by. Have you lost your mind? Yeah, right? A little bit of piano. That would double the box office returns of this movie. A great movie to relax by. Sometimes when I can't sleep, I watch it again. That's fucking weird. This is saying it's a sleeping pill. That's dark.

But that is what you just said, Paul, is you wanted to be tucked in. I wanted to be tucked in. I did too. Birdwatcher writes, though young children. Birdwatcher. Birdwatcher. Guys, no joke. I worked for a birdwatching channel. Remember that? I do. Go ahead. Oh, wow. Yeah. Though young children won't be interested in it, it's different and better than the usual hallmark romances where a single parent with a dead spouse or a workaholic meets and falls in love with blah, blah, blah. Give me that.

Those get old fast. This one is interesting. This one has a twist. That being said, there's a few flaws when one looks at the messages given regarding ethics and criminal activities. Let's not go there. Five stars. Was the one we did with Mario Lopez and Melissa Joan Hart? ABC Family. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah. Remember that when they were all exploding out of their butts in that house? Do you remember that? They got the butt exploding. See, this movie could have used a little bit more butt explosions. Yeah.

And then this is interesting. I'm just going to read this one. This is Micah Jha writes,

The Fantastical Ghost Story really needs to be watched several times to figure out the time sequence and the relationships of the various characters at either end of a century. I love this film. The co-stars are compatible and believable, and the caretaker is warm and comfortable in his role. No! I like Daniel's little eccentricities. What? Eating like Brad Pitt in Notions 11. Having sideways hair? He was always eating chestnuts.

I feel like he was always like, no, he was having a nice carving up an apple. Oh, also remember what's up with his watch? You know what we didn't talk about when she comes in and he's got his shirt off, but also his pants are down. Like a little bit. Well, yeah, because the spenders are off because it's been, that was fucking weird. And then what was interesting too, is she is, that's the moment where she gets super horny for him. But all you see is his bare back.

Like he doesn't turn around. You don't, it's like, that's as sexy as this can get. I mean, I thought it was sexy when he gave her the fireman carry in the beginning when he just scooped her up and dropped her outside on the porch. Women love to be scooped up and put into a snowdrift. Or put into bed. June wants me to write in that the back was sexy. I could have used more chest hair.

From Kate? From Kate. From who? From the innkeeper? From the cop? He needed a chemical peel on his face, though, right? Oh, boy. Well, that's, you know, we've talked about second opinions. Let's go to third opinions now. Very rarely do we do this, but this one made me laugh. This is from Andre. It's a one-star review, and he writes, horrible and scary. Not at all Christmas-like. Oh, my God. You know what? I don't disagree that some of this movie was scary. Okay.

No, you're wrong. I wish this movie was able to scare me. I wish this movie was... Yes, if it had a real scare. I wish this movie had a different gear to get to. Yeah, no gear. What was the one where Nicole Kidman... These are our house. The others. Oh, that was great. June just wrote, I had a few scares. And then she wrote, our five-year-old son, she goes, he was scared. Really? Why were you watching this with our five-year-old? That's not correct.

That isn't correct. All right, so let's go. He's going to learn a lesson about falling in love with ghosts. Let's go around. And you can make it work. Yeah. That's what's fun. And by the way, that's basically what Kate's... This is crazy, actually. We didn't talk about this. At the end of the movie, in the eighth act...

Kate says, you know what? I'll take it. I'll make this. You can be my boyfriend 12 days a year. And guess what? I'm working so hard the other days of the year. This is all I can take. It's kind of what Ina Garten has with Jeffrey. The Barefoot Contessa? Because he only comes in for the weekends. He teaches at Yale the other four or five days. Oh, really? Great. So they just come in for those weekends, plow town, and then he's out of there. Yeah.

You know what? That's a lot of plowing 12 days straight. I could get it if it was like one day, like 12 days. If you're not getting the rest of the year, she said, June said they have it. Perfect. A perfect marriage. I know. Here's what I would love. I would love if in the last scene, Daniel comes up to her and he's now he's chosen. He's going to stay here forever. And she's like, you're smothering me. This is too much. We have to break up. And she's so cold, dumps him.

He's stuck there. No social security number. He's a man out of time. He's from the past. He doesn't know how to do anything. This is a spinoff movie. Come on. Or he tries to go back to the other world and is like, uh, no. I can't. I was like, bye. She was like, uh, pass. You know what? I'm kind of into Cousin Harry. Oh.

Oh, man. He's like the bad boy of the story. He's a murderer. So, Jess, would you recommend this film? Absolutely not. Okay. And again, I, out of everyone here, was willing to give it so many different chances. I watched the other in movie that was on Netflix. Yeah. Oh, you watched both of them? I watched the movie that just came out and I gave it a lot of chances. By the way, I'm very excited about that Netflix sitcom that is just a holiday-based live action multicam. That's insane.

Wait, what is that? Is it always Christmas? It's always Christmas. So it's a multi-cam show with Dennis Quaid called like maybe. Very Merry. Whatever. Yeah, that's like literally a very whatever. But is it always Christmas? I think it's the 10 episodes all take place over Christmas. And then what will season two be? All over Christmas. Next Christmas. Yeah.

Wow. That seems flawed. Yeah. Interesting. All right. And then June is going to unmute herself. June, do you recommend this movie? I loved it. I loved it? Honestly, that was the scariest moment of the entire podcast. This really is like there's a ghost. Did you really love it, June? Yes. No. Really? That's just not it. I really enjoyed it. I really did.

I don't know what to do with that. We're so similar usually. I don't know what to do with this information. I mean, Jason, I feel like I know where you're at on this. No, this was bad. This was boring. Like, I enjoyed Mario Lopez, Melissa Joan, Heart Holiday, whatever that was. Just...

So much more. So much more. It had more going on. Yeah. This was a movie that had so many characters that were doing, that gave so little to the movie. Gene said that movie didn't hold a candle to this movie. Whoa! I would argue that the Mario Lopez-

scene where he's shirtless. Oh yeah. In that, in that, uh, very tiny bathroom that they were all shitting in was hotter than any moment of this. I agree. And also no chest hair on Mary Lopez. And you know what? That didn't bother me. She goes, I prefer Daniel to Lopez. According to June. Wow. Uh,

This is blowing my mind. I found their chemistry to be better. Same. And I found their romance to be more understandable. I agree. Agreed. Hard agree. All right. Well, we'll see you guys all next Christmas as we find another romance. Jessica, what do you got going on? What do you want to talk about? Well, this is weird, but I'm on not one, but two shows that take place in space. Right.

Whoa. One of them, I'm on Earth, and the other one, I'm in space. Wow. The first one comes out really soon. It's called Avenue 5, and it's going to be on HBO. Oh, wow. I am in space for that one. I love this. Like Sandra Bullock in Gravity? Very similar. Now, this is by the creator of Veep. Armando Iannucci. And now, do you pronounce it Armando or Armando? Because I always hear some people-

Armando. Armando. Because now I know for sure. Because I always think it's Armando. And then people say Armando. And then I'm like, I don't know. It is, in this instance, Armando. Potato, potato. We all know an Armando. Armando Diaz. Yes. That's right. It's really funny. Hugh Laurie and Josh Gad, all these amazing people in the show. Zach Woods. So I'm trapped in space. So look out for that in January. Got it. And then I'm in a movie called Like a Boss. That's coming out too. Oh, yeah. With Tiffany Haddish and Rose Byrne.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Natasha Rothwell. Miguel Arteta's movie. And then, yeah, and then later in the spring, I'll be in another space show called Space Force. Oh, wow. That's the Greg Daniels movie. Yes. The Greg Daniels TV show. That's right. But I'm on Earth in that one. Funny. Wow. You've really carved out some space for yourself in space. Very surprising.

surprising, isn't it? It really is. Really. Would you say that you mostly work in sci-fi now? Yeah, I think so. You are a sci-fi star. Could I ask a question, though, of you two gentlemen? It's so weird because I'm promoting, I've just been cast in an Anne of Green Gables remake. Ah!

I'm doing that and a Little House on the Prairie remake? I'm doing all olden times, olden days shows? Why has a little house in there? Here's the thing, though, I want to say. No one wants it. As much as I love, shut up, Paul. As much as I love the olden days, I would be terrible in an olden days movie. I would be as bad as that woman playing Lily who sounded like she was a millennial. She was just like, oh my God. Like, I don't want you to go away. Come back for Christmas. You just sound like yourself now. I know. I feel like.

like I wouldn't be able to pull it off. So what does movie have been better? If June says you'd be a perfect Josie pie. I appreciate that. I,

I appreciate that. We never saw her as old as I am, which is 29. Well, let's be honest. Like in olden days, you would be dead by now. Your life expectancy would be. A hundred percent. Yeah, you would. I would have had 16 kids. You would have been taken by cholera. Deadsville. But yeah, I listen, I don't judge these actors because I think I would have been just as bad, quite honestly. Yeah.

Jason, what about you? What do you got going on? You know, I'm going to promote, as we talked about earlier, the holiday season of Nail It, which we are both guests on. Me as a judge, you as a contestant, is some of the funniest stuff. Nicole, friend of the pod, Nicole Byer is the host.

How does it feel? So good. It's a great show if you haven't watched it. It's a great show to watch with your whole family. Did Jacques Torres. Especially over the holidays. Yeah. Jacques Torres bring some of his chocolates to set? Yes. Share with you? Yeah, there's chocolates around. Yeah, he passes them to you. Really? Like he passes you a secret chocolate in between? No, not a secret chocolate. Oh, not a secret. He brings around a tray of chocolates and you can have it. But like you have access to chocolate. You probably have a different experience. I chose not to be treated any differently than a contestant.

Wow, how big of you. And I chose to be treated like a goddamn king. You were like the beginning of Coming to America. I was like, Wes, don't even talk. Don't even look at me, Wes. I don't know what those judges were doing. They disappear for long stretches at a time. I'm not allowed to even tell you. Oh, you see, yeah. I can't even tell you what we're doing. They have a back room that I didn't see or know. So it is in true real time. Like, you guys have that long. Oh, yeah. Do they shoot how many in a day? One. One.

Wow. But, you know, there's a lot of like little pieces. It's a ruling schedule. But once the cook starts, it is full cook. And then you have like a big break between the cooks. And then you have, you know, it is technically a game show. So there are like very staunch legal things that need to happen after the game is explained because it's like that quiz show law. Like you need to –

You need to go. They can't fake who wins. No, they can't. They can't fake who wins. They can't cheat time. They can't do like all the, they're there. They have to adhere to all the rules that like jeopardy or any of those games. Do you understand the game? Do you understand what's going on? We're going to restate the rules because in case Nicole or Jacques says something that isn't letter perfect, even though the show is goofy and fun, it's,

You can sue somebody? Yes. So basically, after they do their thing, then you are brought to another room where they read you all the rules of that particular challenge. This is honestly more interesting than the entire movie we were forced to watch. Yeah.

I'll promote Nailed It, which I think is so fun. So good. Such a great show. And you just came home from jolly old England. I just was in England for a couple of months shooting a movie that will, in theory, come out next year. Amazing. I don't know. Gather the family around the hearth and watch John Wick Chapter 3 Parabellum, guys. That sounds...

That's fun. Like a terrible, I will never in my entire life even watch the trailer of that movie. Oh my God. It's so fun. And he's fantastic in it. Um, why also, I'll also plug a joint, uh, sheer Manzuka's project, which is, uh, the good place, which will be coming back after the new year to finish their final, uh, episodes. It's been a great season. Uh,

and I think you've already seen Jason, and you've already seen me, but you may see us again as this thing wraps up and heads to its final completion. Maybe, maybe not. And if you are looking for something to listen to, and you are maybe frustrated or excited by The Rise of Skywalker, I will say this week on Unspooled, we were talking about Star Wars, and we actually have the original editor of Star Wars on Unspooled this week, and it was fascinating to chat with him. And if you missed it a week ago, we had Rian Johnson on the show, and Rian Johnson gave his picks

for movies that should be included on the AFI list. And they're great. Ooh, I love that. I'll give a shout out just for the sake of shouting out Star Wars related. Yeah. Mallory Rubin and Jason Concepcion are doing Star Wars for this season of Binge Mode. Oh, it's great. And it's fucking awesome. Love it. It is so good. Love it. And-

And I also just give a shout out. I know I'm just really into this movie, but I love Uncut Gems. So go see that. It's a great, great movie. Oh, and I finally in London got to see Mannequin Pussy live. They played Drunk 2. It was fantastic. Great work. That band is rad. So I'm going to go see that.

Still, guys, my song of the summer still works in the winter. I love it. And June wanted to make sure that everyone knows that a perfect stocking stuffer or gift for this holiday season, maybe it's a New Year's gift as you start your resolutions, is her book that she co-wrote with Kate Black called Represent, A Woman's Guide to Running for Office and Changing the World. It's a workbook, a practical workbook that can show you just how easy it is to run for office. And this is not June saying it, but this is me saying it.

You don't have to run for the biggest offices. There are many community... There are many things you can have a job, like a day job, and then also do this. And you don't need to raise hundreds of thousands of dollars. The local level is where change is happening. There are things that are available to you guys. Things that are available. Absolutely. All right. I'm also just going to plug the Big Thief record two hands. Oh. Just because it's my favorite record of the year. That's it. What's the TikTok...

That's John Wick 3. I know, but why are you called that? Oh, I can't tell you. I'm not allowed to tell you. You got to see the movie. Just TikTok, man, makes me feel sick. TikTok, Miss St. Clair. TikTok. TikTok. Do you kill anybody? Oh, wow. You should TikTok, Jay. Yeah, you should. Do you kill somebody? Oh, would you want to know? No. Ooh.

I'm a ghost. I'm a ghost. A sexy ghost. Sexy ghost tucking you into bed at night. All right. That was a lot of plugs. A big shout out to our producer. End of the year plugs. End of the year plugs. A big shout out. Happy New Year, everybody. Happy New Year. A big shout out to our producer, Averill Halley, who pulls all these movies and all these amazing clips.

Our all the time producer, Cody, who is just killing it all the time, Cody Fisher, and our engineer, Devin, who is the heart and soul behind the board all the time, whether we're on the road or in the studio. Can I? And I have a very big announcement from June. She is not going to be a criminal juror. So there she is. Yay!

And I would just like to, here we are at the end of the year, I would like to say thank you to everybody who came out to all of the shows, all of this tour. Yes. We toured a lot of this country this year. You have some of the nicest fans in the world. Some of the best fans in the world. Thank you for bringing your babies. Thank you for letting us hold them. Yes. And by the way, we're going to continue touring. I held so many babies. That took a turn. Right?

We're going to Vancouver. We're going to Vancouver. We're going to San Francisco. Yeah, San Francisco on. Well, maybe you guys shouldn't have been such dicks about Canada. You're going to get a lot of. No. Come at me, Vancouver. Come at me, Couve. All tickets and information are available on the new HDTGM.com website. We got the actual website. You can find out all the information about that there. Thank you, everybody, so, so much. Bye-bye.

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