Matinee Monday: Striptease LIVE!
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Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank. OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

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If you've ever felt like the auto repair business is broken, you're not alone. Everybody's over it. From talking down to selling up to car-splaining mechanics, you're just done putting up with BS. Bad service. Yeah!

Tonight's show is dedicated to the brave men and women who fearlessly applied Vaseline to Burt Reynolds' entire body. You are true heroes, and you will not be forgotten.

We saw striptease, so you know what that means. Howdy. Schwarzenegger grow a baby in his belly. Rock around, stone vest while ripping Justin to Kelly. Or maybe see a burlesque show with Nick Crow. And take a boat with Speed 2 hitting cruise control. J-Man, Big Paul, and the beautiful June. Gonna take you from the goob all the way to the road. Ran the games in Street Fighter, hope to blow off steam. Just a sucker punch the odd life of Timothy Green. Sharp needle to Birdemic, how we staying alive? They call it an abacus.

Hello people! People of Chicago!

We are so excited to be in one of the best cities in the country. An audience that doesn't get tricked by just applause gimmicks. We're to talk about a movie that, wow, a little problematic. Remembered it very differently. I apologize to anyone who watched this on an airplane like I did or a train.

I finished this movie in a gym. Not a cool thing. A lot of questions by the people on the treadmills next to me. But there is so much to talk about, and we're going to talk about it all. And tonight, I'll do that with two of my co-hosts, but the first one being Jason Manzoukas! What's up, jerks? How we doing, Chicago? Chicago!

Holy cow. I'm not going to lie. I've been in this town 48 hours. I've eaten 48 pounds of meat. They make you eat meat as you get off the plane. I went to Stumptown. I had a meat coffee. This city loves meat. You know what this city hates? Vegetables. Unless they're pickled to go next to your meats, you fucking monsters. Oh, God.

I don't eat meat, but when I come to Chicago, I become a meat monster. Yes. I've eaten more meat in a year than I've eaten... I've been in an active meat sweat for like, I don't know, 30 hours? This is dangerous. My cholesterol is very high. If we did three nights of shows, the two of us would have heart attacks. Yes. I'm not even kidding. This town is for real.

Here to talk about the movie is my other co-host. Please welcome June Diane Raphael! Welcome, welcome June. Hi Paul, how are you? I am great. I'm very excited to talk to you both about this movie, Striptease. Lots of stuff to talk about. Oh yeah. Let's start with the title. Yes. Striptease. Yes. Yes.

So that is different than stripping because a tease would be almost more of a burlesque. It would be like, we're teasing. I think of Gypsy Rose Lee. Gypsy Rose Lee? You think it's like Gypsy Rose Lee? I think of Natalie Wood at the end of Gypsy Rose Lee. That's what I'm thinking of too when I hear strip tease.

Does the whole dance and at the very end, there's like a, you know. A bra strap? Yes, and then curtains. That's not what this was. No. I will say there is a bra strap and there are curtains, but it is a very different movie. Very different movie.

I will say we are going to talk a little bit about the dancers in the movie. I was very impressed with the level of commitment to their different characters. There's that one woman who dressed like a cat and did almost a salute to the cat's musical. She was fully committed to the character of the cat. Go ahead. No, I was going to say one of the storylines, question mark?

in the film, question mark, is that there's another strip club that has more gimmicks. Gotta get a gimmick. Not the Eager Beaver. Right, not the Eager Beaver. Yes. It was called Flesh Farm, which is a disgusting name. And it is somehow the classier establishment.

It made me go, ooh. Yeah. It connotes violence and poultry. Yes. And somehow a transaction happening. Like, we've been growing them. We're going to sell them now. It felt like, to me, like the killer in Silence of the Lamb goes to a flesh farm to complete his human flesh suit. Yes. Yeah.

I wouldn't be surprised. It seems like there's a progression, like the eager beaver, flesh farm, then like the slaughterhouse. That seems to be where they would be going. But what was interesting is so the flesh farm is doing a lot more gimmicks there. They have a dancer with a live snake, and she's doing some incredible work with that snake. It was unbelievable to me. I will say this. I don't want to pull you off your point. I just want to ask.

My impression of the flesh form is that they all danced with an animal of some kind. Oh, I didn't realize I don't know I'm the farm Whoa, wait a minute. So there wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hang on Yeah, is it called the flesh farm because there's animals in every act. That's how I interpreted it. Wait, did everybody get that?

No, no? I thought there would be a girl with a chicken. I thought there would be other animals. That was my impression. That would... I would go to that strip club. At first I was like, oh, I'm 100% an eager beaver guy. No way, Flesh Farm. But now that that's the reality, and I have a very high likelihood of seeing both boobs and someone get mauled by an animal...

That is trying to escape, and I am rooting, by the way, for the animal to escape. I'm rooting for that snake, guys. Monty Python, come on!

But yes, I didn't mean to cut you off, June. No, well, back to our dancers at the Eager Beaver. So I did feel a bit resentful that the owner of the Eager Beaver was feeling so threatened by the competition at Flesh Farm and all their gimmicks and elaborate stunts they do there because I felt the ladies at the Eager Beaver each had distinct characters. Yes. One was a baby. Yes. Yes.

June, June, I don't want to jump in. I don't want to try and mansplain this for you, but I think technically she's a sexy baby. She's a sexy baby. I don't think she's a baby as much as she's a sexy baby. Like Goo Goo Gaga, Daddy Changed My Diapie Baby. Yeah.

There's a subtle difference. But important to make. Yes. And then there was, of course, the cat. And then there's also the woman whose boobs look to be mid-explosion. Yes. She is an actual dancer. Her name is Pandora Peaks. And she was playing the character Urbana Sprawl. Urban Sprawl? Urbana Sprawl. So she's basically somehow a joke about Urban Sprawl?

What is that? I get Monty Python being worked in there, but why call her Urbana Sprawl? Oh, this city's getting out of control. I mean, listen, I believe every woman should be able to do whatever she wants with her body, of course. Of course. But when I saw those breast implants, I'm assuming they're not real. No, I will say that she, they are, whoa, oh yes. Paul. No.

You know what? Let Paul explain. We've had this fight a number of times where Paul cannot spot fake breasts. What? Cannot. I would argue it is my greatest skill. And I question it. It's like, can't or won't? Why was her God-given name Pandora Peaks if they're not fully real? Are you saying, did you just say Pandora Pizza? Peaks.

- Peaks! - Pandora Peaks. - Okay, I thought you just said Pandora Pizza and I almost lost my mind. If there was a porn star named Pandora Pizza, I would watch that every night.

Pandora Pizza is my small little shop I opened in the Avatar world. We make a quality pizza for humans or Navi. It's no big deal. We have a Navi menu. We have an Earthling menu. We keep the peace. I have a question about, and I don't know if we're experts, but I will ask this. If you are having a breast implant that big,

Are you saying that the implant itself must be beach ball size? Is that what we're assuming? That there's a beach ball size thing inside there? Yes, Paul. I know it's incredibly hard for you to believe. I think that's exactly what we're saying. That's exactly it. It seems so crazy to me that they would even have that option. Are you just considering this right now?

I think that when I would see someone like that, I'm like, oh, yeah, they got breast implants. But now, like, thinking about the reality of it and going like, wow, like, someone manufactured that. Oh, so you're curious about the manufacturer. You're like, you're interested how this works on a manufacturing level? Yeah. Got it, got it. Like, I'm like, are they going...

All right, well, we're selling a lot of these, but is it in a big and tall man department of the factory? Because it's like we're not making a lot, but we'll sell like two a year. It's like a car dealership that has like two Mercedes. It's like we'll make a lot on those, but we'll sell the Toyotas mainly. So you're saying what's on her chest is the two Mercedes? I just think it's a big... I don't think it's priced by the size.

I don't know. I agree. I actually don't know, but I don't think the bigger ones are more expensive necessarily. I don't think that's how it's done. How big do you want to go? And keep in mind, the bigger the bucks. Don't you worry. You want those big giant jugs? Get ready. It's going to be big dollars. I was going off the turkey model at the supermarket. Wait.

So to you, checking out turkeys at the supermarket is like touching boobs? I just would like to be like, to run into you at the market and you're just like, no, like, you know, like if you pick up by a bigger thing, it's more expensive. I don't know.

Anyway, I just want to let everyone know I run a very reputable plastic surgery practice. And yeah, I may ask questions, but you know what? We do it, and it's on the up and up. It's totally cool. I agree with you, Paul. When I see a girl with big boobs, my first impression is, how much do those weigh? And what's the price per pound? And can I get a Greek salad with it? And half a pound of prosciutto, please. Meats! Those meat jokes are for you, Chicago!

But yes, June, I've derailed your point about Pandora. No, that was it. It was just that, you know, I do think at the Eager Beaver, everybody had a pretty distinct personality, and they should have just trusted that. And they were very, I will say this, what I appreciated about the Eager Beaver was that they were open to different kinds of expression. Every time Demi Moore dances, it's a different act to a different ballad,

Well, to a different Annie Lennox song. They're all pretty much only Annie Lennox. Which, by the way, I liked. I liked that the patriotic woman does her thing. Each one was very different, which I was like, oh. Oh, and by the way, for those of you who think that you're going to get us in the Q&A, I know that Penny from Showgirls was also in this movie, too. So for those of you who referenced that, we don't have to. We get it.

I will say, too, that the Prince song and Sweet Dreams by the Eurythmics, Annie Lennox was, that's also in it. So it's not even just Annie Lennox solo. She's going into other Annie Lennox out and about. Which I, and I loved that. I loved that she had her, that she was basically just doing ballads.

and using it as a method of self-expression that was like sad to basically tell sad stories. I was like, I love that the eager beaver is allowing this expression and also cat lady. The eager beaver, if nothing else, is a safe creative space. Yes.

You can fail there. You can be wrong. Yeah. Or the sequel to this movie, I believe, was the Catwoman's performance goes to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and gets a short order on the BBC. I was genuinely disappointed that we did not get to see the full Catwoman number. Agree. Because when she came out and got, you know, cat. Yes. Yeah.

Got perched. I was really looking forward to that. Agree. And I was like, well, now I've gotten the uncut version, so the extras must be each person's full dance.

Nope, nope. As a matter of fact, for those of you who watched the director's cut versus the regular cut, I went and did a little compare and contrast online about what was added. And what was taken out for the theatrical cut but was added in for the director's cut was just lines that the owner of the strip club says to Ving Rhames. You're like, oh, that's...

That's the exclusive cut. More of that story. The guy that said nothing gets him hard anymore except when he went to SeaWorld? Yes. There's more of that storyline?

Oh, good. That's what I watched? Okay, good. I need to hear more of... And then there's a scene in SeaWorld. And I was like, oh, are we going to catch a glimpse of this guy straight up jerking off in the background while Rumor Willis gives a fish a fish? Technically, it was called Splash of the Ocean, a terrible name for a sea place. But a great name for a porno.

Starring, it's the next Oceans movie. We had Oceans 11, now Oceans 8. A Splash of the Ocean is the next one. It's a full squirting movie for the lost Ocean sibling.

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Going back to the Eager Beaver Club, I thought the dances were artistic. I thought the DJ was out of place. The DJ felt to me like Sam Levine's character from the Wet Hot American Summer movies.

Grown up, I was like, oh, this is where he's elevated to. He's up there like, hey, everybody. And he's not even doing it sleazy. He seems psyched. He's like, this is awesome. Check it out. Cats on stage. Not over it. Not even sleazy. Just happy to be there. Yeah. Oh, no. He was having a great time. I think he was psyched to be doing the movie as well. And that might have informed a little bit of what was going on.

I have a lot to talk about. I was going to say, well, there was one, from a directing standpoint, there is one thing that I did not like about this movie was this thing, and I wrote it down, it's like, the camera moves so aggressively at people, it's like a close talker. It's like, you'll be like...

Sitting in normal seats, like, zooming right into a face. Like, oh. And they do that in the opening. They do that a handful of times. You're getting, like, it's like the cameraman got out of control. Like, oh, stop, stop, stop, stop. Like, stop right there. Like, skidding on the face. Like, stop on the face. No one noticed that anyway? I did not. I didn't notice that. I believe you, though. I did notice Demi's ex-husband's sister wearing a, first I thought it was a bulletproof vest. Yeah.

By the way, that performance she gave, whoever that sister was. Who's that actress? Does anybody know? I have her name here. Yes, thank you. She's amazing. Yeah. That was a performance. I would have watched a movie about her and her security guard husband. I was blown away by that performance. Was it a catcher's vest? Yes. Okay. And to be

Well, yes, because she's training wolves. Yes. Oh, I didn't hear that. They do one of those things where they set it up and they pay it off about an hour later. So it makes sense. So every Friday, keep in mind, every Friday, Rumor Willis is dropped off at her... That's Rumor? Yeah, right? That's Rumor. Yeah, Rumor. Oh, I thought it was... For a minute I was like, maybe I've got the wrong one, but it was Rumor. It gets dropped off at her aunt's house where her aunt is actively training wolves. Oh.

And Demi Moore cannot get custody. I mean... It's wild. The opening scene of this...

You are like, in what world would this even be considered? Also, by the way, I'm also perhaps more interested in a Paper Moon style movie with Terminator 2 and Robert Patrick and Rumor Willis going around stealing wheelchairs. Like, that's a Sundance movie if ever I saw one.

Like, he can't get it together. He's using his daughter to steal wheelchairs. And that's the deal, you know? I would see that movie. What I liked about that character, the husband, was he really played it in the middle of the road. You didn't know if he was a good guy or a bad guy. Always kept him questioning. Real subtle. So just so I understand, because they said it a few times, it was unbelievable every single time, though. This judge listened...

to her testify that her husband was a... An informant. An informant for the FBI. Yes. And also a criminal. Yes. And she lost custody because... She lost her job working for the FBI. FBI because of him. Because of him, but because she had no job and he was a great football player in high school, the judge gave her one of the harshest sentences of all time. Never heard anything like that.

This movie came out in 1996, and he said, you can see her for two hours every two weeks, and on Christmas Eve, and then on Easter. Like, that was the plan. Very arbitrary. And part of it was because he was an informant for the Vice Squad. For the Vice Squad. Okay, so they felt they owed him something. That they had pressured the judge, I think, to...

be lenient on him and punitive towards her. I mean, if you want to just hear him rattle it off... Judge Fingerhut? Oh, look, Fingerhut. Like, straight out of the box. I'm like, okay, here we go. You may make visitation to your daughter every other week and on Christmas Eve. And of course, on Easter Sunday when you're wearing your pretty little Easter hat. Of course. Your Honor, my ex-husband is addicted to pills and he's a thief.

Boom.

That's the close-up. See, just beat in. Just bet in. That was a little bit of that classic, we ramp into the face. Is there no court-appointed lawyer for her? Also, I point out that Robert Patrick is sitting in the spot that the lawyer normally sits in. He's on the outside edge of the table. Yeah, I agree. Which means the lawyer would have to go, excuse me, sorry. Why does she appear to be representing herself? That judge... Finger on it? Yeah. Yeah.

I only say that because he's a judge. And we should give him the respect by saying his name. LW Judge LW Fingerhut. My question is, and I thought this throughout the whole movie, why would Robert Patrick want the daughter? Like, full time. It seems like he's not a guy who really would like responsibilities. Agreed. I feel like he would want the opposite. I think he's just doing it as a fuck you to Demi Moore, and I bet

I don't know. I bet he gets money as a result of being the full-time or something. I bet there's some... Because he's such a sleazebag, I'm sure there's something in it. I don't think he's doing it out of the goodness of his heart. What did she see in him? That's what I wrote. I was like, why did she marry this guy? Well, this is, by the way, there are a couple things we need to address in terms of the problems with the movie. Wait, there's problems in this movie? There's a few things I took issue with.

At a certain point, what's the actor's name again who plays the... Robert Patrick? No, no, no, no, who plays the FBI agent. Oh, Armando Sante. Armando Sante, of course. Lieutenant Al Garcia.

So what I am resisting is the implication that this is all her fault. Because at one point he says to her, she's sort of in shame over her work, which again, we can get into the problems around that. But she is very embarrassed that her daughter saw her stripping. And he says, the only mistake you made is to marry that guy. There is no...

- No single time in this movie is any man implicated for any of their actions. Because it's kind of unbelievable. He doesn't even point the finger at this horrible man who's her ex-husband and the father of her child. The person who did something wrong was her for marrying him.

She really fucked up. Yeah, she really... She did a terrible job. If she had better taste in men, she'd probably still be at the FBI. It's maddening.

Oh my gosh, yeah, she really is an island in this movie. She is surrounded by incompetent people, and I'll get into Shad, Ving Rhames' character, who seemingly is never working the bouncer position at this strip club. Never there when you need him. He is backstage reading the Wall Street Journal.

When a major fight breaks out, he is escorting her to a private boat in the middle of the night, assumingly, or assume that the eager beaver is open. How does he think that yogurt thing's gonna work? I will say this, the greatest mark against his intelligence is that he thinks that yogurt thing's gonna work. Well, I mean, he's a real, like, he contradicts himself a lot, but...

First of all, he's reading the Wall Street Journal. And then later on in the movie they go, do you follow politics? He goes, do I look like I follow politics? Well, yeah, you're reading the Wall Street Journal. Like, all right, sure. And then this setup that he has here also seems grossly elaborate just to put a roach in yogurt. You don't need the vice. He has a vice holding a cup of yogurt.

Just set it down on the table. He has a full table of tools. There's a soldering iron right here. Oh, need it. Just place it. Just put it down. Just to put a roach in yogurt. And his plan, and let's listen to him lay out his plan. So this is the new brainstorm, huh? According to the Wall Street Journal, we got here the hottest selling yogurt in the country. I bring this in, say my hair fell out from the shop. Boom. They pay off big time.

- Lawyer thinks it's a genius idea. - Your lawyer has an office over at a video store. - Call me a dreamer. I don't wanna be a bouncer forever. - I like that attitude, but I'm also like, if you know from the Wall Street Journal that's the biggest selling yogurt, invest in that yogurt.

There just seems to be so many problems with the plan. A being, if there's any pictures of him any time before this movie, his hair would not be there. I feel like in some ways he's just been trying to figure out an explanation for his hair not being there. Like, it's always been a long road back. Yeah.

To that explanation. Speaking of which, you can hear it in the clip, but there's a monkey in this movie. Oh, yeah. A monkey that... Oh, so that's right. All the strip clubs have animals. Well, I feel like this monkey was belonging to him similarly to LL Cool J's parrot in Deep Blue Sea, but at least LL Cool J acknowledges that there's a parrot on his shoulder.

Ving Rhames does not acknowledge this monkey. They're in some sort of relationship where the monkey is like, I'm here. And he's like, don't see me. I like to think they had a falling out day one. And he was like, fine, if it's going to jump on me, but I'm going to tell you right now, I will not acknowledge its presence.

Something I think did happen because he's in several other scenes without the monkey. Sure. Which leaves one questioning, like, where is the monkey? Yeah. Is that monkey okay? Are any of those scenes in the extras? Like, while they're off at the boat stripping, is the monkey off doing something? Where is the monkey?

The monkey falls into that trope of film where the monkey just does reaction shots. Like, we don't need... Like, we get it. Like, the monkey is cuing the audience like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't... Now, there is a point... In this scene we just saw, Demi Moore tips him or tries to tip him for...

breaking up a fight with a bachelor who looks like he's 55 years old. Well, why? You're saying just because he's older he shouldn't be getting married? I mean, after 40, if you're not married, forget about it. Wait, how old? Forget about it. 40. After 40? If it hasn't happened then, it ain't gonna happen. It was just interesting to have a bachelor party roll in.

I get it, it's gross. And to see this groom, question mark? Looks so much older. It was hard to suspend my disbelief. I'll say that much. You know, I thought maybe it was his second marriage.

So that's how I was able to continue watching. I definitely questioned it. I was acting. But Fing Reims in that scene, when that bachelor gets on stage and assaults, there's no other way to put it, Demi Moore,

Ving Rhames is backstage reading the Wall Street Journal. Reading about yogurt. Yeah. Later on in this scene, and he does eventually, because she's screaming, come out. But after Burt Reynolds has already come and clocked the guy. A lot has happened. There's been photographs. A lot has gone on. She then goes to tip him in this scene. For what?

Yeah, he didn't do anything. Nothing. You would be better than Bert Reynolds. I don't remember. Did she say something? I don't remember. Did she say something? In this scene we just saw, she says, I want to give you something for... Yeah, getting in there. Yeah, getting in there and protecting me. Hmm. Well, I don't know. I think the problem I have is that he is treated as though he is a hero in this movie. And he is not. No.

He does not simply do his job to protect these women. Not at one bit. No, and he also... In this scene, no, but I do think in other scenes he steps up. I disagree. This scene, we cut out before it, but another dancer comes over, and I'm using the language that it seems from the movie they prefer, dancer. She comes over to try to investigate what's going on with that cockroach, and he hits her.

and says basically get the fuck out of here. Did we watch the same movie? He's a terrible man and he is only there to protect Aaron. He doesn't give a fuck about the rest of them. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Yeah. Well, I will tell you this.

I said to June, I was like, well, Ving, I said like, oh yeah, well, Ving Rhames is great. She's like, no, he's not. And then she showed me all the scenes like, oh yeah, I guess not. I don't know why my brain was. Yeah, I am taking those moments where he says things like, don't go there without me or he's looking out after her or he tracks her down to make sure she's okay to be him in his intentions that he is going to take care of her. Listen, this is going to open up a can of worms.

because the only reason that she is considered a stripper who we care about is because she's a mother. The rest of them are, in the world of this movie, dumb and I guess not worthy of his protection. That's troubling to me. He treats the rest of them quite differently. And if you go scene by scene to watch his character, which I did...

You'll find that especially because the movie ends with him really and he's just all he cares about is protecting her purity as a mother I reject that. By the way the movie posits a world I mean it completely upholds a very disturbing view of women which is they are either mothers or they're whores and we're both you guys. Duh! That's a new t-shirt!

There... Speaking of someone who's both, Armand Asante.

Oh, yeah. No, I agree. I mean, I think it's a weird movie. These are these movies that came out in this time where I think striptease came out. There's a lot of like... I think it's like... This is striptease. Oh, sorry. Showgirls. Showgirls, yeah. I think there was like this fascination of like, ooh, what can we show? And, you know, it's... But I think...

The only way you could get into this world is by showing someone that you would... It's a mother. She doesn't belong there, and that's why she's a lead character. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. And she's entering the world because she has no other choices, which is, of course, true for many women who do, and not true for all women who are dancers and strippers.

And I will say the distinction they force us to make over and over in this movie about strippers, dancers not being sex workers and not having sex with their customers is also troubling because it requires us to shame sex workers and criminalize them, which I don't believe we should be doing and believe in the end of criminalization of sex workers, but I guess that's another podcast.

But by the way, and I understand what we're watching and yada yada, blah blah blah. I know it's a big, stupid movie, but I also think this movie is an incredibly dangerous film. I really do. Because it's a very dangerous movie for everyone to see because it really is. And that's, I mean, like the treatment of animals, let's just like put over there.

From that monkey to that snake to the dolphins at SeaWorld, they're just over there for a second. But the shaming of women who are paid to be sexual and to use their sexuality is horrifying to me. The very end of the movie, she has a line where Armand Asante says, "Are you gonna run for Congress?" There's a seat open, and she jokes and says,

"Oh yeah, I'm gonna do that next." And I wanted to say, "Yeah, you should." And also, what's so disturbing is you feel at the end of this movie she is launching off to completely reject this past. And the reality of the working conditions of the stripper she was just with the entire film. There is nothing political about her character. She never cares about the other women who are there.

And she should because they care about her and take care of her daughter. And that's troubling in a world I don't recognize. Sorry, guys. I'll wrap it up. I mean, not anytime soon, but I will wrap it up. But I do believe this movie is incredibly dangerous to watch and to see a woman who...

You know, the distinction they're making between stripper and sex worker, I understand in like our cultural lexicon, but I really think it's upsetting and we should reject it. Well said. And we should reject it because sex workers and exotic dancers are some of the most vulnerable women among us. And this movie sort of purports itself to be feminist and it is not.

In my mind. Because there's no recognition of that. And there's just shame and, you know, the assumption that she should completely forget about her time there and the horrible harassment and degradation she was subject to. And...

To me, they go to such lengths to make her character sympathize with every man. I mean, she sympathizes with that guy, Jerry, who's a fucking serial killer. And she literally says, he's harmless. Why would you ever think that? He is not harmless. He's a serial killer. But the lengths they go to make her sympathetic to us because of what she's doing is so...

It's just unbelievable. The end. I have a lot more to say, but the end.

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Well, I'm glad that you said that. I think that that's really, because I think looking at these movies with context is always important. And then it frees us up to also talk about Burt Reynolds and Armand DeSante as well. I would love to talk about oiled up Burt Reynolds as dangerous and irresponsible on my eyeballs.

I will say that this performance by Burt Reynolds is the closest we'll ever get to seeing a real-life personification of the KFC mascot, Colonel Sanders. This is a little less than the ones that we're seeing in the football commercials. This is just taking down just a notch. I mean, this character is...

bananas. Oh, yeah. Burt Reynolds fought to be in this movie. He took scale to be in this movie because he liked this character so much. Oh, I feel like this is why that happened. They gave him the script and he went to... What page am I first on? Six? Okay, one, two, three, four, five, six. My first line is, I'm in. Get me this part. My first line is, is the character's name Burt Reynolds?

It's not? Wow. They got me, though, so get me this part. By the way, it's shot in its home state of Florida, so it was an easy drive, too. Here are some actors, and I just, for the sake of, maybe just go one by one, I'll just tell you, envision the movie with Michael Caine playing this part. That's who they wanted, which is an odd choice because he is a congressman, and I've never seen Michael Caine not have a British accent. Oh, yeah.

So that's an odd choice. I think people think Michael Caine exists in a world which Americans think they can't hear him have a British accent. The second person that they went to after Michael Caine was Gene Hackman. I'm into that. I would be into that. I think that that actually works well. And then after Gene Hackman, it was Donald Sutherland. Okay. Which I think is creepier, oddly. Yeah.

I see him in a wig. Too much President Snow. Yeah. But then, and then. Yeah, there's malice to that. Burt Reynolds is kind of perfectly like, of course it's Burt Reynolds, playgirl Burt Reynolds. We've all seen his dick Burt Reynolds. I mean, I've never like watched a performance and thought like, oh, that's a buffoon. That's true buffoonery. Yeah.

Well, that's why Burt Reynolds is widely regarded as his generation's most perfect interpreter of Tartuffe. His Oubre Roy was widely perceived to be the greatest of his generation. And by the way, we are saying this is before Burt lost his hair, right? This is his natural hair, right? What now? Oh, man.

Yeah, this is Bert's hair before he falls. I know he's bald now, but this is definitely his hair. Oh, in all the scenes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where his hair looked exactly the same scene to scene? Yeah.

I will say this much. Demi Moore was shooting G.I. Jane and had to come back for reshoots and wore a wig for a considerable chunk of reshoot scenes, and her wig looks a zillion times better than what was on his head. His head looked like no one ever did a wig fitting. It was sort of like they tossed it to him like a Frisbee, and however his head caught it, it was like, and that's how it is for today. Um...

He does some work here in this movie, and the scene where he goes to get some money from a group of older Jewish people, and he's dancing with them, but the thing that was so infuriating there was, Archer, he's doing this, and then he goes, Manischewitz, and they all go, yeah! Yeah!

That's crazy. Their reaction is crazy. It would have just been better if he said Manischewitz. And you're telling me he's a congressman for like 20 years in Florida and Manischewitz is all he's picked up? Like an enumerator

enormous amount of his constituents must be old Jewish people in Florida and he's getting by with just doing a horror and screaming Manischewitz. I don't know. What is his district? I mean, what is the makeup? I would love to know. He's in Dade County, the 34th district. No, that would be amazing if they really drilled into the politics of it. Alright, so look at the congressional map. Now, here's the deal. Now, there's been some gerrymandering in this area. We're going to pop this out.

That is all in the director's copy. Very detailed. Paul Guilfoyle going into it. I would love, again, I would love to see the striptease universe built out. I would like to see a West Wing style show with his young guy that's with him all the time who's like, what, now I gotta go to a laundromat and steal fucking lint? What?

So you can huff lint from the dryer, you oiled up monster? I will say, the portrayal of our politicians, I think it is valid. These are grossos. Okay, let me ask.

So that was, I did, well, I actually didn't rewatch that part, but I was, I thought about rewinding it. What they took from that dryer, those weren't underwear? No, it was the lint from the dryer. He was like huffing like it was a scene from Blue Velvet. It was insane. At that point, when that kid saw that, he should have killed him.

He should have killed Burt Reynolds and been like, I'm doing this for the greater good. I guess I'm just trying to understand, like... This is the movie we saw for you, Chicago. You made us do this. I'm just playing slow motion. You don't think we're all going to think about this when we fuck now? This is the world we live in. We live in a post-loomed-up Burt Reynolds jack-off-fest.

You did this to us. This is a fetish now. When you're fucking later, all of you, Chicago, when you're about to come, please just, when you're coming, say to your partner, Burr Reynolds. Do it and then tweet about it, you gross monsters. Can I just say, I want to get into the lint thing, but I also want to tell you, because we're talking about that scene. Or fuck my lint.

I want it to be Fuck My Lenten. What I like about this scene is that not only is he in boxer shorts, a leather cowboy vest, a cowboy hat, but he's still wearing his watch. And his wedding ring. And his wedding ring. And his wedding ring.

By the way, just so I'm clear, this is all just for him. Yes. Yeah, this is just. He's alone. He got dressed up. He's supposed to be downstairs. He's supposed to be at an event. Hold on. Hold on.

in that vest and he oiled himself up. Yes. Just for himself. Just for himself and the lint. Can we just say though, it's not that he oiled himself up, he put Vaseline, like I feel like oil connotes something a little bit more. It's so tacky. Vaseline, to get that level of oil, to get that level of lubrication that he's done with Vaseline,

He must have really rubbed it in. He is full on greased up. This is nuts. And by the way, just to put a little bit of a touch on it, they are spying on Aaron, that's Demi Moore's character, and he goes, I need you to get me something personal from her. Very personal. Southern Fry personal. So I'm thinking, oh, he'll break into her house and steal her underwear. That's the normal... Hey, man.

Why don't you let them just do what they're doing? You don't have to imagine ahead where the Grosso's going. So, obviously, I'm thinking break in, but break into a basement window. Something that won't be noticed if she returns home. Get in there and look in the hamper, not the drawer, because he's going to want something used. That's just what I'm thinking. He's got a...

Go there the night before. Break the window, but don't do anything. So then she's okay with the broken window, so the night where she's... Then the next day... Yeah. But no, but I mean, I guess the thought process to me... Oh, yeah, you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking, obviously, go to her house, scoop a turd out of her toilet, put it in a brown paper bag... Or a Ziploc. It's easier to transport. And...

I mean, look, the movie... You know what I'm saying. Crawl up on the roof. The movie's basically saying that's exactly what happened. Get into a crawl space, find her attic, get her old prom dress, put it on. I guess... Obviously, that's where the movie's going. But I guess what I'm saying is, and yes, have I done a little B&E to steal personal? I'm sure. But...

What I'm saying is like, it's such a far logic leap to go, okay, he wants something personal. She works at a strip club. She is there. Let me get lint. Like, I don't get where the lint comes in. Like, I would never go like, oh, lint would do. Lint would do.

Lint would be the thing. I know. It did make me think, like, what does that lint smell like? That's just what I was going to say. If I was wanting something to evoke that person, I would want something that smelled like them, not something that smelled like clean, like laundry detergent. Laundry detergent, yeah. But maybe that's just what he was after. Yeah. Well, he says he made love to it.

So after he's huffing it here, he must have like fashioned it into some sort of limp pussy.

In order to fuck it, right? I mean, that is a lot of lint. Now, if it was me, what I would have done is I would have seen her in the laundromat. And then I would have walked in, but I would have bumped her, but bumped her hard enough that she dropped the laundry basket. Then a bunch of stuff fell on the floor. Then what I would have done is with one hand, I would be like, this sounds like you've done this. And then I would do one of these things where I would take the other one and I'd drop it in my... I'd be wearing a larger coat. Didn't you guys...

What? Didn't you guys meet at a laundromat? Oh, but that was different. I had dropped a coin, and I had made June go pick up the coin. Uh-huh. Okay, okay. The crazy thing about that last thing I want any of us to say about it is...

It was such a big piece of lint. Which is why I genuinely thought it was red. I will say that the place that they go in said jumbo size dryers. It did, like that was literally and I was like, oh, is that like they're trying to be like If the lint is red, that must mean that all of the contents of the dryer were red fabric and that wasn't the case. I feel like the color of lint is usually gray. Yeah, why was that lint red?

Again, I mean I had several questions. Oh, I know I do there is an explanation. Oh, no dryer was having its period Oh, can I just talk about I like the ball you went oh no The guy who took the lint

He's calling him Herb, but I didn't know if his name was Herb, and that was Southern, or his name was actually Herb, because in subtitles, it was Herb. E-R-B. And I kept on looking, and I was like, really? Herb. But by the way, there's a couple, I've been now noticing a lot of subtitle things. So in the movie, one of the dancers says, Bill Bradley's out there, but in the subtitles, it's Michael Jordan.

Or reversed. Maybe the opposite. In my version, she says Michael Jordan's at table eight. And the place was empty, and I was like, Michael Jordan's not there. Then it was changed to Bill Bradley, which is even a weirder thing. Who's Bill Bradley? A former basketball player and then governor of New York, which is an odd choice because it's like, not Michael Jordan, Bill Bradley. Weird. Can we just hear Burt Reynolds talk about why he greased himself up? Here we go.

Nice. We can still hear it.

I can feel it squishing between my toes. The squishing sound I didn't like. David, the young Christians are waiting. By the way, I've just done you all a service. I remember the sound of the squishing really grossing me out as if it was like wet mouth sounds. I didn't like it. Oh, so you were cool all the way up until just the squishing. Yeah, yeah. The rest of the scene, I'll be honest, was downright erotic. His boots are going to be so gross forever.

Yeah, you can't wear those again. You can't dry out that clean. There is nothing about this that makes any sense unless he's about to be in an oil wrestling ring or something. Even to jerk off using oil, you wouldn't oil your whole body for it. I mean, listen, people are into different things. True, true. Yeah, that's fine. You know what? I want to support him. And the privacy of his own home. I would like to say that

They told him in the script, like, oh, I oiled myself up. And Bert's like, I'll just say Vaseline. Because, like, that's how he understood what oil is. He's like, yeah, Vaseline, you know, when you put it all over your body. I'm into that. That kid, though, who's his assistant, like, he endures. Herb. Wow, that's so weird. He endures a lot of straight-up nonsense, including, like, very obvious corruption.

I would say that that scene was disturbing, but... Or just erbing, nailed it.

Guys, no. No. Stop. Stop. Don't reward wordplay. Come on. What are we doing here? But it was not as disturbing as what necessarily, what Demi Moore found when she went to go visit the old house that her husband was living with the kids. Oh, yeah. And she finds the heads ripped off of...

the dolls that she gave her daughter. And I'm like, who did that? The daughter? The father? The father, because she says later on on their two-hour play date. I mean, there are moments in this movie that are devastating. I mean, did I cry during the rumor to me scenes? Of course I did. Many times. Well, because they seemed very much mother and daughter, obviously. Very much so. And it was devastating. Did it just get brighter? Yeah.

What the fuck is going on? Am I passing out? Am I okay? You are ascending to heaven after that period joke. That period joke has made you, you've gone on. You've done your job. Did I die after the period joke? And this is a Jacob's Ladder scenario? You're going up. By the way, worth it. Worth it. You did everything here that you needed to do on this plane. Let me shuffle off this mortal coil.

During their beach play date, the daughter, rumor says that she can't find the dolls. Right. That Demi gave her. But they're clearly out in the living room. Yeah, but they're just heads. In the house she doesn't live in anymore. Right. Right? Yes. Yeah, you're right. That's right, right? But it seemed like...

It was like he ripped off the heads of the dolls and threw them in the living room and they were out. The bodies were there too. They were just all separated. So do you think, I guess the big question is, is that the work of rumor? Here's my thing. My thing is I think this movie was setting up like an Annabelle type movie scenario where those dolls will chase them all down and kill them all.

There was also like a three-foot Raggedy Ann doll. Didn't like that. That I was very uncomfortable with. I don't like dolls that are bigger than the kids that play with them. Yeah, agreed. I'm going to go on record with that. Not good, yeah. I don't trust it. But Chucky you're kind of okay with. Chucky is like a bro. And I only say this because I'm very friendly with the actor that is Chucky. The doll.

I just remembered something very sad from my childhood. I was an only child and there was the Chucky doll is like kind of based on this doll called like My Buddy. My buddy, my buddy, my buddy and me. We can climb up a tree. My buddy. It was like wherever he goes, he goes. But my mom got that for me and she said because you don't have any brothers or sisters.

you can have on my buddy. Like, my mom bought that commercial hook, line, and sinker. Like, oh, this is great for him. He doesn't, he needs a my buddy. Paul, I'm, like, going to cry right now. That is incredibly sad. And I remember being presented to me, like, you know, when you're home from school, you guys can have fun. Oh, stop!

- Stop! - Wait, when you, let me ask you a very real question. Did you ever come home from school and your mom had set up my buddy as if he was waiting for you to do a thing? She was like, "My buddy assembled half a Lego Tie Fighter in the other room. He's waiting for you to finish the rest." - I'm not gonna say-- - And my buddy was just there like, "With half a Lego Tie Fighter assembled?" - I won't, you should not do that, but I do remember when I did get a Cabbage Patch kit, my mom-- - What?

How did my buddy feel about the cabbage patch, kid? It predated my buddy. The cabbage patch is the one with the problems. But my mom read the birth certificate to me and the adoption notice and made it feel really real to me. I had to take care of this thing. So I felt very pressurized. Can I ask you a question? I think I took a day before I signed the adoption certificate. What? What?

Can I ask you a real question? Based on the timeline of this, is there any possibility that you are currently putting a Cabbage Patch Kid through college? Like, cut, hard cut to UMass, and they're like, um, lemons sheer? And it's just cut to a doll. I will say he is on the Dean's List and doing really, really well. Oh, boy. That is harrowing. Psych.

I don't know. A lot's come up from this movie. A lot. Speaking of, like, odd kid behavior, mine, was the other kid, Armand Asante's son, who we're introduced to him by him running into the scene and going, Dad, we got a floater. How does he know that? What? He knows police terms? That seems to be something he's said before. Yes.

Like, wherever they go, they get floaters. I also, to stick on kids' stuff, I want to know, they're playing two different board games in the strip club. Which are both generic board games. Yes, they're both nonsense games. One is just a bunch of boxes with question marks around it, and they're like, one, two, three, four. What strip club has more...

Multiple board games if they do a crime is being committed It's just as much as strip clubs having peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in Blues Brothers 2000 these should be warning signs. Oh Of course your child can come we have a bunch of board games and a loose monkey and snake right before they installed the falafel ring and

Oh, right. No, they already did the falafel ring. He wants to do creamed corn this time. Which is gonna curdle. You know, it's gonna smell. It's gonna really smell. I don't want that. Oh, no, he's rolling creamed corn at us. I don't want that. And it didn't reach Jason, thank God. Kick it back, kick it back. Am I close? Yes.

Now, I guess... But it's coming back! Oh, God. I feel unsafe. I feel like it's now only time... He was like, we gotta get in the front row so I can roll this creamed corn on stage. If I can only roll this creamed corn on stage, my life will be made. I think we've come to...

the time in the show where we will talk to the audience. Where we take the cream corn into the audience? They're my buddies. If you have a my buddy, we'll definitely talk to them as well. Guys, while Paul's going out there, don't you fucking look at us. Don't look at us. You don't look at us until he comes out there and you look at him. Alright, so we're in the audience with a bunch of people who probably have a lot of questions about striptease. And what we're going to ask you today is to...

Oh, man. Let's come up with a name that you would like to be called if you were a dancer. I'll say dancer using the term and your real name and your question. All right. You want to go first here? Oh, we have an alternative title. Okay, you can give it to us. You can break the rules. Stand up. Here we go.

Okay, your name? My name's Betsy. Your alternative title? I would go with Eager Beaver. I mean, it's already in there and feels a little obvious. I like it. My question is, what genre do you think this movie would fall into? The trailer seems to suggest it's a comedy, but there are some very dark moments. Demi multiple times tells people that she's worried she's going to be murdered. Murdered?

He does hold a knife to her throat. Yeah, and then we have Burt Reynolds, who is covered in Vaseline. So I just was wondering if you could help us kind of parcel this out. I think I can identify the genre pretty succinctly. Florida. I think this is a Florida movie. Which is gross, sometimes funny, but capable of murder.

So, kind of like Monster and Striptease together. Yes! I would believe those existed in the same world. Monster, Striptease, Florida Project, that is a trilogy. Yes. Okay, sir, your name, your dancer name, and your question. I'll hold them up. Get your hands off that mic. Paul, walk away. My name is Scott. Dancer name would be Fruitcake Love. Okay.

And my question is, what is with the music in this movie? Like, tonally, it's just all over the place. This is a good

is a good question because I do agree that this is, you know, Jason and I have mentioned this offstage so you wouldn't hear it. But it's based on a... Unless you were eavesdropping on us. Were you? And by the way, don't eavesdrop on us. Do it. I mean, it's based on a Carl Hyasson book and he's a very interesting writer, kind of like the... You called it like the... Well, he's like a crime writer from Florida. He's like doing... I feel like... Out of sight is his... No, no. Out of sight is...

Elmore Leonard. Elmore Leonard, thank you, thank you. But I feel like he's in that world of kind of guys, right? Yeah. Crime guy, but for trashy Florida stories? Right. Which is to say Florida stories. I'm just taking shots at Florida. But his books are...

have humor and they have thriller aspects in it and I think that the tone of this movie is so off every character slightly in a different movie but I would forgive it if it all didn't come together perfectly in the end I mean there it was it really paid off on every level okay yes your name your dancer name and your question my name is Cassie so it's a pretty lateral move to assy

So I actually have a question about the names in the movie of the dancers. You have Miss Gaza Strip, you have Urbana Sprawl. Demi Moore is a number of times mentioned to be smarter than everybody else. Armando Santé is like, oh my god, you read mystery novels and everyone says how smart she is. Why does she use her fucking real name? And coming to the stage, Erin Grant. And everyone knows about her custody battle. It's dangerous to use her full name. Right.

For the Jerrys of the world. Well, by the way, they say one thing. Armand de Sante goes, he has pictures of you all over his house. He was what? He has pictures of you all over his house. Oh, yeah. And it's like, well, how? There's no photography allowed inside. She's not posing for anything. I bet they're all her getting into her car and out. Probably. Scary. Your name, your dancer name, your questions. Also, guys, don't eat the mic.

You balcony dwellers, I know, you'll go crazy. It is not a brat.

So my name is Steve. Going off of the Chicago theme of meat, my name would be Porkchop. Nice. Love it. And I want to circle back to the board game because when they do the first shot, it's a generic kind of board game kind of thing. The way they cut back, it's Candyland. And then the second time, it shoots in ladders. But it's generic in the close-up. The insert is a fake game, but the wide shots are a real game. Because I'm sure they got... Milton Bradley was like...

No. By the way, good eyes, Porkchop. Good eyes. Okay. All right, ma'am, your name, your dancer name, and your question. My real name is Laura. My dancer name would be Jane Fondle. Jane Fondle. My question was, why does she call the news crew to come to the sugar factory? Like, what was her plan?

By the way, this is something I really wanted to talk about. The news crew coming because... In the middle of the night? In the middle of the night, but... So the big scene goes down and this newscaster pops out of the truck, runs, and she's like, Senator, you called a news conference? Like, as if...

It's like no one ever approaches a news conference. No one's bounding out of a van going, where's the news conference? Where is it? Go, go, go! She had SWAT precision for her news conference. Also, they've driven the news van right up to the section of the sugar factory where they happen to have just had this whole kind of scene happen, but it's not where they would normally drive. They would have driven into the parking lot, parked,

and been like, okay, where's the news conference? They wouldn't have driven into the factory, into the sugar processing plant, into the work area and been like, we'll just keep driving until we see people in the middle of the night at the sugar factory is where the congressman's having a news conference. Don't you think they would be like, they are, anybody who showed up for that is terrible at their job.

Well the other crazy thing is that sugar happened to fall on those guys. Just happened to. Perfectly. And they couldn't get away. Right up to their neck. But June. What? You've got to say though, it happened so organically. Where are you? Robert Patrick. Where are you? Paul, where are you? I'm one of them. I'm one of the balcony people now. Jesus Christ. I did.

You've become a balcony person? I am part of the balcony. You've been up there for a while. You should come down soon. No, it's cool up here. These people are my friends. That's what they want you to think, Paul, but they're not your friends. They're balcony monsters. By the way, that's a t-shirt, balcony monsters. That should be for our live shows.

But who's gonna buy them? You fucks couldn't even get tickets early enough to sit down here. You think you're gonna order t-shirts? You idiots. No way. But, so at the end, for that ending to work...

It's so convoluted. All right, so Robert Patrick is dazed. He's so dazed that he has to be functional enough to understand that he needs a cup of coffee, but then just assume that that is a coffee machine in the middle of a sugar plant, and he's going to get some coffee, but he wants to make sure that he hits the right button that doesn't give him sugar. Like, there's so many steps involved.

to get that thing at the end and it still all happens. And also, by the way though, how dare the filmmakers give that guy the final heroic move of this movie. Same! Alright, sir. The best is though, he goes, I said no sugar.

He goes, I said no sugar. And then Armando Sande is like, I got even a better joke. He goes, oh, you guys got a bad case of dandruff. Like, all right, everyone. They're just hitting jokes. That's the fun of these movies. Jokes and jokes for days. So yeah, I take it back. It's a straight comedy. Sir, your name, your dancer name, your question. So my name is Rory. My dancer name would be Dalton Roadhouse.

From Roadhouse. From Roadhouse. And so my question is, at the end, in the sugar factory, where this entire elaborate plan is going on, she's got a tape-to-tape deck that she records all of this conversation on. It's called the music box, okay? My question is, where is the microphone on the...

on the tape deck that is recording this conversation. They do show you the area that is the microphone. The problem is she's actively playing music out of the boom box, but when they play the tape back that's his confession, there's no music present on the tape. So it recorded him talking, but not the music that was blaring while he was talking.

You don't think that music box as it's referred to... I think it's more of a boom box. I picture a music box like... No, she calls it a music box when she's trying to take it out of the back of the car. But you don't think it had the capabilities of editing out vocals and all that stuff? I don't think so. I think if it was recording, you couldn't... I mean, it's just a matter of convenience. I'm certain it recorded the thing, but...

Right? I mean, I'm exhausted with this movie. It is now time for Second Opinions.

And you'll never know the flip side to the consensus that says the film you're watching is pure tripe. You need to scan through all the reviews on Amazon. You need to search the stars for positivity. You can loathe a film, but still, all you'll know is hate until you have read...

All the second opinions. Give it up for John. Thank you, John. That was great. If you want to hear a few other versions of it, stay tuned after the episode where we replay the ones that we just didn't play, about five more. And I will say, the one Jeff Tweedy did was fantastic. Oh yeah, it was good. And it was so cool that Taylor Swift came too. Thanks again to JT for coming by.

Obviously, you can imagine the second opinions from Amazon for this movie are disturbing. As Nate Kiley wrote me, barf, double barf on these reviews. So I've tried to get them a little bit down to size here. This is from John Wise. I have loved this movie since I was four years old.

And I would love to marry Demi Moore. Five stars. Four years old. Now, you Chicagoans have a special relationship with this movie because it was played in one of your public schools in 1997 by a teacher. And the school caught him and was like, what are you doing? The kids wanted to see it. Was this in Florida? No, here in Chicago. Is that why we're doing this movie?

Because it's taught in your schools? If so, I'm more on board for Chicago. This is just something that was unintentional in this Amazon review, but funny. It's by Robert, and it goes, Demi Moore looks good, but Reynolds is hilarious. And I just thought, obviously he meant Burt, but but Reynolds...

With a happy accident. Five stars. This is a great one here. It just says, "Someone borrowed my VHS tape, but neglected to return it. I am very happy it is available on DVD, as those require less space when they're stored in between viewings." Five stars.

I would love it if like two reviews later it was like, "Hey Randy, I'm so sorry I borrowed your VHS." If there was like a fight between two people. This is one movie that, like a lot of the times they try to sum up the plot and they're very long because they go through, it's almost like an oral history of the film, but Ronnie Clay does it in three lines. And you tell me if you think that Ronnie Clay is right on the money here.

Demi Moore is a stripper who's doing her best to win child custody over her ex-husband. He wins custody, so she's went to the house and snuck her daughter out of his house. A congressman has the hots for Demi, but she doesn't dig him at all. But he pays her a lot of money to dance for him on his yacht. Y-O-T. Five stars. Is that one of the students from the Chicago school that watched this? Because that's what you teach your kids.

And I will end on this one. This is a great movie. I love Sandra Bullock movies. Five stars. Wow, what? Oh, that's amazing. That's amazing. Because I didn't even realize it was Sandra Bullock.

It's that wig. She was shooting G.I. Jane and then she came back. This movie came out in 1996. The budget. Would you like to guess the budget for this movie? Demi Moore was paid at this point the highest amount for an actress I believe at the time was like $12.5 million. What do you think the budget for this movie was? $30. Yeah, $30 seems about right. $50. $50 million. It's all that sugar. And all the animals.

But it did worldwide, this movie made $113 million. Oh, wow. Domestically, it only made $33. So it was like successful. Overseas, yes. Very successful. It came in 47th of all the movies made in 1996. The top three movies in 1996 were Independence Day, Twister, Mission Impossible. It was beaten by Jingle All the Way and Dragonheart. But...

It was beaten by those. Yes. But it beat, of the movies that we've done, The Island of Dr. Moreau, Escape from L.A., The Quest, Glimmer Man, Kazam, The Phantom, and Barbed Wire. Wow, what a year for films. This might be the year film died. Um...

Can I just... Because you're telling me the successful movies were Independence Day and what else? Twister and Mission Impossible. I mean, like, this... That is... That is the year... That entire year of film is equivalent to Florida. Yeah. I want to read you the taglines for this movie because it's so... They're weird. Oh, really? I'm going to be shocked at that.

One tagline was this. A stripper raises money needed to get back to one thing she can't live without. Dot, dot, dot. Her daughter. That's not true. Yeah. That's the tagline? That's the tagline. She's not doing like a Kickstarter campaign. I don't think there was Kickstarter at the time. It was GoFundMe back then. Some people get into trouble no matter what they wear. Excuse me?

Then this one. It ain't showgirls. Then again, it ain't Snow White either. Excuse me? And then finally this. A comedy in the last place you'd expect to find one. Florida. One last zing at Florida. Don't worry, they're not listening. I...

I imagine I know what everyone's going to say, but do you recommend this movie, Jason? No, I don't. It's not even fun enough to be. As June said very eloquently, it is deeply troubling on many levels, and there's nothing about it that is... It's not a successful crime caper. It's not a success... It's like...

On every level, it is both unsuccessful and not very fun. So while we certainly had plenty of things to talk about, I don't know. It's not for me like something I would be like, yeah, that's like the way that I've enjoyed watching so many trashy movies or so many whatever movie, terrible or whatever on this. No, this is not for me. And, Jun, you do want people to watch this, right? Yeah.

Hey listen, it reminded me that it's important to destigmatize the work of stripping and exotic dancing so that these workers may work, because it is work in safe conditions where they feel free to report violence and harassment without retribution. So for that, I guess I was thankful for it.

But yeah, I think, you know, obviously we should just decriminalize sex work. And that's the end of that. And I do understand the distinction between... Before I get a gazillion tweets about it, I do understand the distinction between sex work and, of course, stripping and dancing. But...

Again, they're forcing us to draw those comparisons in this motion picture. Excellent. And I don't have anything to add necessarily to what either of you said, because I agree with both of you. I just want to point out one final thought. Is this a Fred Armisen character? This looks like it could be a Fred Armisen character.

I just wanted to bring out one thing that I thought was interesting. There's a driver in the film that drives Demi to the yacht, Y-O-T, and he's reading an L. Ron Hubbard book in the beginning. But more importantly, Burt Reynolds hits him in the head with a brick or a rock and

And at the end of the movie, when they're all kind of triumphantly driving away, he's sitting in the front seat with just a bandage around his head, seemingly comatose. And I wondered to myself, why isn't he in an ambulance? Yeah. And where are they taking him? He has had a traumatic brain injury. Yes. He needs attention. Yeah. But that's Burt Reynolds' move, is to hit people in the head with stuff.

Because he gives it really good to The Bachelor, too, with the champagne bottle. Oh, yeah. He's good at hitting people in the head. Well, that's all we got there. Anybody want to plug anything? What month do you guess it is? You know what? Plug for the audience, and we'll go back and plug for the at-home audience. You know, I'm nothing. I got nothing. Let's not worry about it. Nothing. Okay. Here's what I want to plug.

Paul and I were on another fantastic episode of the Chris Gethard show that is on TruTV in which Chris Gethard, like a coward, abandons his own show in the opening minutes, leaving Paul and I an hour of live television to host ourselves. We did not know this was going to happen. We didn't know it was going to happen. And needless to say, we fucking crushed it.

Now, unfortunately, you can't see it. Unfortunately, it's somehow proprietary to true TVs, whatever. If somebody could figure out a way to put it someplace where people could watch it, boy, would we love it. And maybe just send it around and hopefully people will figure out how to watch this episode of TV. Get to it, nerds.

I will say that I have a podcast with Amy Nicholson. It's called Unspooled, which is kind of the reverse of this. Oh, thank you. It's we watch good movies. So it's great. It's a great relief to see something. How nice for you. June, are you doing that podcast? No, I have not been asked. I'm not either. I'm somehow, like you, relegated to this nightmare of existence. Yeah.

We live in this prison. Where we are granted no reprieve with beautiful, lovely movies from the 20th century. I now hate movies. Yes. I'm beginning to love them again. Anyway, subscribe to Unspooled.

I will also say to you guys here in Chicago, this whole week on Adult Swim at 4 a.m., I have written an infomercial called A Message from the Future, which is airing every night this week at 4 a.m. Okay, so that does remind me...

At the end of June, I'm not sure when this is coming out, but at the end of June, Adult Swim is airing a special that I did with Brian Husky, Jesse Falcon, and Rob Corddry called Mr. Neighbor's House 2. And it is like, what if David Lynch made Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood? So, so funny. It's great. It's super fucked up, and there's a bunch of weird puppets, so...

Get involved, people. A big thank you to Avril Haley who cut all of our amazing clips. May Kylo did all of our research. And to you, our Chicago audience, you guys were fucking fantastic. Thank you, Chicago. Thank you for your meat. And good night. Wow. And here we go. It's now time for Second Opinions.

Everywhere on Amazon, they got second opinions. DVD or VHS, they're gonna say this film's the best. The stars are gonna give them five. It's gonna make them feel alive today.

Give it up for Angela, who just gave me an amazing "This Piss Is Shit" mug, words spoken by Laurence Olivier in referring to the Jazz Singer remake with Neil Diamond. Thank you, Angela.

And now it is time for second opinions. Imagine no bad movies. It's easy if you try. No rumor epidemic. No bubble Ioni sky. Imagine all the people loving every film up.

You may say I'm a moron But my words are posted on Amazon And I hope someday you watch this And agree with my second opinion Amazing! Give it up for Alan! Alright, no touching of Jason Repeat, no touching of Jason It is now time for Second Opinions It's

It's the best. It's better than all the rest. I love the movie Striptease. I've got to get it off my chest. Demi's hot. It's got buns. It's got burnt Reynolds and guns. There's a monkey and a snake and there's a floater and a lake. MJ's at table eight and Robert Patrick is great. A porpoise gave some guy his last hard-on.

Come on and give it a break. There's that the boobs are all fake. I'm going to give Striptease five stars on Amazon. Amazing. Give it up for Nick. It is now time for second opinions. Second opinions and Striptease. I too disagree. I checked Amazon and the study. Yes. Give it up for Jennifer. Great job.

It is now time for Second Opinions.

Second opinions, what can I say? I cannot condone people who think this way. We got Bloodsport and people yell Kumite. We got Glitter starring Mariah Carey. People seem to really love these movies like Jack Frost, Sleepwalkers, and also Goobie. Second opinions from Amazon, if you really like these movies, you're a moron. Mm.

Give it up for Chris. Amazing job. Chicago brought it 100%.

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