Matinee Monday: Solarbabies LIVE! (w/ John Mulaney)
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Hello, people of Earth. Tall John Shear here to tell you that How Did This Get Made is shipping up to Boston. That's right, on Sunday, June 16th, Father's Day. We'll be doing a live show in Boston at the Wilbur Theater. Tickets are on sale now. Just go to hdtgm.com to buy tickets and find out the movie that we'll be covering. That's hdtgm.com for all your Boston live show questions. I believe that children roller hockey players are our future. Teach them well and they will lead the way.

This is what Whitney Houston would have said if she saw this movie. We saw Solar Baby, so you know what that means. Howdy. Schwarzenegger grow a baby in his belly. Rock a rhinestone vest while whipping Justin to Kelly. Or maybe see a burlesque show with Nick Crow. And take a boat with Speed to hit and cruise control. J-Man, Big Paul, and the beautiful June. Gonna take you from the groove all the way to the room. Ran the games in Street Fighter, hope to blow off steam. Just a sucker punch the eye.

We are live here at Largo in Los Angeles our home of

For our live shows, we are very excited to be here tonight to talk about a movie. A movie that predicts our future. A movie that talks about the importance of water and robots and roller skating. All these things will be covered, but first, let me introduce my co-host. Please welcome Jason Manzoukas! What's up, jerks? What's up?

How are you, Jason? I'm terrific, Paul. I am just great having seen Solar Babies. I wish, and for the audience at home, just pretend that Jason roller skated out of here. I wish we could have done that. Across a desert to get here. Please also welcome to the stage, June Diane Rayfield! Hello. June did roller skate across stage. I did. How are you, June? I'm doing well.

Very good. Nice to see you here. Great to see you. Great to see you as well. Did you enjoy Solar Babies? I love Solar Babies. It's getting hot in here. You have heard about the sexual chemistry, the sexual tension. You just experienced it here.

Everyone in this room is turned on. I'm sorry, Flanny, but all the seats are going to be wet because everyone just came in their own special way. Squish. Squish. We have a very special guest. This guy is fantastically funny. You know him from his amazing stand-up, his Netflix specials, and he just toured the country with the show. Oh, hello. Please welcome John Mulaney. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. I work so hard. I work so hard. Thank you. Well, we are all here tonight to discuss Solar Babies. A Mel Brooks film. This is a Mel Brooks produced film. I mean... It's a Brooks film. Well, Brooks film, right. So, yeah, so it's his production company. Yeah, I don't know why I'm letting him off the hook. It's his production company. But Mel Brooks also did... Hold on. I'm sure Mel would do it. It's a Brooks film.

It's, you know, he did Elephant Man and Solar Babies. It's, yeah, so who knows? So I'm saying there's a 70% chance that this could be a comedy that he just really disguised really suddenly. That would be amazing. Well, okay.

Where to begin? I mean, we begin in the year 41. Like, that's where we're at. And are we assuming that 41 started, like, after 1986? Like, the apocalypse? Because Charles Durning remembers the Earth. Oh, yeah. Oh, he does, doesn't he? Yeah. Well, it's a thousand years in the future from 1986. Oh, but so it's...

A thousand years ahead, but they only call it 41? Right, like something happened where they were like, hey, let's do zero. Okay, got it. Yeah.

Clearly something happened. But zero happened like 900 and 59 years ago. So we can assume we have a good 900 X years ahead of us and then shit will go bad and then we'll get to 47. At that point, we're all going to be like roller skates. Yeah. We're not going to, we're going to be like, that is how we need to travel, especially through the sandy deserts of this earth.

Nothing works better on sand than roller skates. That's how we're traveling. That's what we've all decided. Also, it's part of some sort of Quidditch-like game, so this is what's up.

Also, the game might disappear and don't ask any questions about it. Also, at some point, we might all stop playing the game even though it seems like it's going to be about the game. Yeah. It felt like this movie, and I'll say just because the title of the film is Solar Babies, the name of the hockey team, that it would be about the hockey team and some sort of

you know, post-apocalyptic rivalry. Oh, nothing has ever been more set up of a ragtag team versus blondes. Yep. And...

It was a textbook Aryans versus ragtag. Yes. And then no payoff to it. None. Not only that, but I did expect in the final sequence for some amazing rollerblading to happen that would justify the setup. I expected that they would really save the day by blade. And...

I mean, they did blade into that final third act sequence. They bladed there. Everywhere. Everywhere they went was on roller skates. But that was the thing. But at that point, they had bladed everywhere. Right. So there was nothing. The blading is mediocre. I mean, they're not like great roller skaters. Well, you know, Paul, but I have to say, I think their roller blading is fine. I think their blades are so rudimentary.

The rollerblades they're blading on are, I mean... A lot of them are straight up roller skates. See, roller skates. They're not rollerblades. They're like old... With a front heel. They're straight up Steve Guttenberg at the beginning of Can't Stop the Music roller skating. Yes.

So I don't know how much more they could do with skates like that. Here's why I think the roller skating is bad. Because at one point, when they're roller skating towards the door at the end, they don't stop. They just slam into the wall. Like, they just hit it hard. And they're like, well, the wall will stop me. They never take the skates off. Like, they never really take the skates off. They fight in the skates. Peter DeLuise does once. And he walks with the body show. Don't you dare use that name as if anyone here knows who that is.

I mean, I'll talk about Michael Deluise all day long. - Guys, I was thinking that you were all fans of "21 Jump Street" and Peter Deluise, killing it on that show. No, yeah, so it is kind of, I mean, the roller skates don't even seem to play that much of an important part. - You know why I know? Because there are periods of the movie where they are with people who are not on roller skates who seem to be keeping up just fine.

Like, they don't seem to be giving them that much of an advantage. At a certain point, Adrian Pasdar is just running in boots right along with the group. The majority of the third act is a chase where the roller skates provide no advantage. Right, because they're being chased by, like, tanks and motorcycles and are caught every single time. And... This is a movie also, and I went back to watch it. Is it, though? They made it, but yeah, it doesn't...

I kept on going, what is it about? And it's a movie that where when you first watch the voiceover at the top, it makes no sense because you have no context. But then at the end, you're like, oh, okay, that's what this movie was about. Like they do set it up. Wait, what was it? Well, I'm genuinely like, I don't know. I don't know why so much of what happened happened. If all the method, if the method to the madness was just like, oh, we broke the dam.

we'll have water now. Like, again, like this is like... Yeah, also, oh, you had water? Yeah. Oh, I thought the earth had no water. No, it's just a dam. Oh, it was behind a dam? Yeah. It's behind a dam. They never got into that. It wasn't like it was being held... And then there's the secret society of the Oasis who are like, we don't want anybody to know we're here. Very confusing. Um,

Because again, it looked like it was gonna be a movie about roller skating. I thought it was gonna be a whole movie about Orphanage 43 and the young thugs in the Solar Babies roller, what do they call it? Oh, Skateball. Skateball. Skateball. That's the shit that bugs the fuck out of me. Whoa, Paul. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Paul. Paul. God damn it. Whoa, Paul. No, it's like when they, because they keep certain things

They keep certain things like, this movie is 1,041 years in the future, from whenever that was. No, it's 1,000 years in the future. Oh, 1,000 years in the future. At a certain point, come on, we've already gone over this. All right, yeah. I want to get to, we have to decide what it is, though. It's 1,000 years in the future, right? Well, here's the thing. I'm going off the trailer. 1,000 years in the future. Yes, no, I agree. In the year 47, what? What?

They have stuff like books that were clearly from the time, like from the 80s. But then they're like skateball. Wouldn't it just be hockey? They wouldn't have forgotten about hockey. Also, I thought of that as a lacrosse stick too. That is definitely a lacrosse stick. It's a lacrosse stick sewn to a hockey stick. Actually, if I came out of anything, if something really resonated with me in this movie...

When I was in high school, the lacrosse guys were so cool and so hot. And I watched this movie. I know he is. I watched this movie. And I was like, wow, lacrosse is a dumb sport. Yeah. It's a stupid sport. It's so dumb. All you need to reveal it is to put them all on roller skates. And it became so clear. Yeah. Yeah, so, you know, for me, it was worth it. It really...

Those guys didn't let me make cool. It also made the very distinct connection between lacrosse and Nazis. And that like, there was definitely like Nazi lacrosse teams, you know, like I felt like those guys, yeah, pretty, it was like a real Nazi team. And the, what was that team called?

The moccasins? Scorpions. Scorpions. And of course they were playing against the solar babies. Oh, and they always lose. They're like the Washington Generals of Orphanage 43. Well, not the solar babies. They always win. That's what I mean. Yeah, yeah. No, no, I'm talking about the scorpions. Poor scorpions. I want to play the opening...

the voiceover because now that we've seen the movie I wonder can we by the way I think we should say we've seen these movies because I think it is five movies in one movie yeah it's a it's a ragtag versus rich kids movie it's a flight of the navigator ask finding a magical thing yeah it's a post-apocalyptic Mad Max type movie uh

And then it's your garden variety bully almost raping a girl movie. Yeah. It's got every one of those elements. I think a guy went into like Brooks Films and pitched five movies and Mel was like, great, go.

We can only afford one, combine them. - Yeah, put them all in. - So this is the opening voiceover. It made me go, oh, all right, I guess they did set it up. But that also feels like everyone left the movie going, what? And then they're like, we'll put voiceover at the top, we'll get it. Here, this is the opening. - We live in a new time. The year is 41 and the Protectorate controls all the water on Earth and therefore all life. I am the warden of Orphanage 43.

One of the many orphanages that border the wasteland. Children are brought here at an early age to be indoctrinated, to serve the system. It hurts me to do what I do, but I too must serve the system. Sometimes in my dreams, I see the earth as it was before, green with flowing rivers and mighty oceans. Can it ever be like that again? There is a legend, a tale told by the Chicanos. This is still happening. What? Yeah. It speaks of a visitor that came from the heavens.

The people called it Bodai. The legend says that it has come to Earth to free the waters once again. Is this legend true? He's asking. Who knows? Could anyone help with... Who knows? I'm sincerely asking. Is this legend true? Fill out your comment cards. That's...

shitload of exposition at the top. Also, I like... Five premises. I've never heard in opening VO, I don't like my job. Yeah.

And also, he is not a main character in this story at all. Yeah. So ostensibly, these are just a bunch of set-up lines from a character who we almost never see. Who maybe is in arguably three scenes. Yeah, oh yeah, for sure. And does almost nothing in any of them. Yeah. He is not important to the story. No. Like, it is the story of the kid.

Why don't you just have like Lucas Haas who arguably I mean although at the end I don't know who's the victim. Eight year old Lucas Haas. So good. Already in the pussy posse at this point. I think he's already just crushing. Yeah. Already a private booth at Sushi Samba. Wrangling women. Oh.

Leo throwing around growing Payne's money. Yeah. Lucas has got his solar baby's check. Yep. Oh, they're living the dream. Kevin Connolly's still an altar boy.

He also has a problem at the top. He has electric ears, which are just basically like Beats by Dre headphones he's wearing. And then his reveal is, I don't need those headphones anymore. I can hear. Because of Bodai. Because he talks to Bodai. By the way, I didn't know that his headphones were electric ears till after he said, I can hear now. Then Jamie Girtz said, where are your electric ears? Yeah.

I thought they were headphones. That's what I thought. Because he was on roller skates. And they were basically just like Radio Shack headphones. Also, when he switches on the power to the skate park in the beginning, there is an enormous electric shock right next to that child actor. There's no, that's not a stunt double. He pulls this lever, and I'm sure it was safe, but it like blows up right near his head. I don't think it was safe. I think we're in the era of the Twilight Zone movie. We're like, ah, fuck it. Put the kid there. We got this. We got this.

That too soon for you guys? I wasn't making fun of it. I'm just saying there was a recklessness. Oh, no, Paul, that's too far.

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There's no safe like Simply Safe. But they doubled down. Not only are you watching roller hockey, you're also watching another guy who's also on roller skates and has a pet owl. Yeah. Yes. And then the...

The guy, the Native American guy is our favorite. Well, I don't really know where we are in the world to call them Native Americans. We're in the protectorate, which is also the system. Right. Yes. Oh, okay. That is the first thing Charles Durning kind of- And that, of course, made total sense for me. Right. I got that. Yeah. They were called, they were like, I think that they were like, it felt like they were the Native American people, right? Because they- Are we in America? Who knows? Are we in America?

Wow, now it's really opening up. Spoilers, this movie takes place on the continent of Asia. Whoa. With local Asian Charles Durning. Yeah. You know that in a thousand years... You goddamn kids. Also, I like that it's like...

I thought they were in trouble for playing skate lacrosse. And then he's like, why didn't you just play on the court we have here? And you're like, you have a court here? Yeah, and they train. Every day they have roller skate training. His point was like, we have one here. It did seem like a large facility. I don't know why they didn't just play there.

They like playing out of bounds. They wanted to be in no rules. For no rules. But, however, the solar babies didn't want to play no rules. It was the goddamn scorpions. Yeah. Scorpions play dirty because they're the Nazis. And solar babies win every time. You know, solar babies win so much. I don't know if that's true. They defeat the protectorate. Well, I mean, he does say, this is when they do explain the titular solar babies, that

which is right here, when Charles Durning says, here we go, just take a listen. Ha! Ha!

Not really that insulting to get that. And here's the thing I wanted to talk about. Ah, so mean. He puts his wand over flowers and kills them, but that wand never comes back into play. No, no. That it's a heat wand, that never comes up again. Never gets used again. Great sound design, though. Yeah. Yeah. Charles Durning...

more than most in this post-apocalyptic no-water land. Well, because he came from Earth, so I feel like it's hotter. He came from the hotter planet. What I'm also trying to realize, when you played the talking at the exposition at the beginning, I realized he's remembering a thousand years in the past. No, sorry. Sorry. He's remembering 41 years or 42 years ago when we were in 2,986. I got it. Okay.

So he does remember rain and water. Well, he can have dreams about it. I've dreamed about things I've never done, but, uh, so I guess. Okay. But the kids have no recollection. They couldn't. No, they don't even remember how they got there. Yeah, they read, like, Beverly Cleary fiction or something. And that, let's talk about that scene. When these kids read the book,

rain and then the orb, Bodai, produces rain, their reaction to it is so bizarre because you would think their first reaction would be like, let's drink this. Yes. Because quickly, anything that can capture this, capture it. And let's leave it. Let's not let it fall on the ground. Let's get it. Let's get containers ASAP. Exactly. Take your hats off. Take your shirts off. Let's...

capture this water. This is the most precious thing that is existing in the year 41. Nope. We're going to kick it. Let's dance. Let's dance and kick. We're basically going to do a bad number from Step Up 3. Yeah, and nobody

And nobody seems surprised that, I mean, there's a surprise that it's raining, but it seems like they do know that rain is possible. They've heard of it. Yeah. But there's no, nobody is surprised that it's raining inside. No. Well, James LeGrow, James LeGrow, like even at the youngest of James LeGrow age still can't not be just an absolute dick in everything. Right.

Who I love, I love him. He is like the dick in everything. He's like, fuck you guys. And in this one, he's the one who's like, well, they must be drugging us. This is a mass hallucination. Which also makes no, then why would they all, they would be wet too? Yeah, yeah.

And also, I love that idea. They just want a shower. They're like, oh good, we get the shower. It's like, why do you have expectations of showers when the protector controls all the water and you live in a waterless society? Yeah. They come back from their slave labor and they're like, God, I need a shower. No, it's like, you should all be very used to how you smell. Yeah, they're like, you stink. Yeah. Um,

well, I want to talk about the solar babies and their bad ideas because then they decide, oh, we got this cool orb. Let's go like break it. Let's go play skateboard with it. Yeah. Well, they think that it wants to play, which is pretty cool. It does have a personality, yeah. It's very coquettish at points. The ball, I'll be honest, the ball is a fork.

It like splits around between all the solar babies, giving everybody its attention. Make no mistake, if you have not seen this movie, the ball does not talk. It is only people give monologues to the ball. Oh, yeah. Hamlet-style monologues. And they tell you it's like when Han Solo talks to Chewbacca. You get what the ball is saying, but the ball doesn't even... But you know how it feels. Yeah. And that's a testament to good acting.

And also such good acting to convey to the audience that, hey, maybe we'll win the skateball tournament that this is definitely heading towards with this ball that's magical. But no. Nope.

But that's like a real bonding moment for them is when they let the ball out and they play with it. Because that's what's necessary. And then do something that I would argue also seems slightly racist when it gets to the one kid...

Slightly. Rabbit? No applause. Yeah. Rabbit? Is his name Rabbit? Rabbit, yes. Rabbit's like, I don't want to play skateboard with it. I'm going to just start breakdancing with the ball and like... Breakdancing, beatboxing, and doing like basketball moves with it. Yeah. Like all three at once. Well...

If we're about to watch it, I don't want to... He also calls it Bodhi, and they correct him, and he goes, you talk how you talk, and I'll talk how I'll talk. And you're like, hey, man, did you just accidentally say Bodhi? It's okay. He just, like, doubles down. No. I say...

I sounds as ease. By the way, that kid never wears a shirt either. Like, there's a shirt. Like, two of them are always shirtless. Oh, this whole movie feels like the buildup of a gay porn. Like, that's what's going to happen. That's just the interesting thing about the movie. And I was trying to figure this out. How long do, how old do they have to be to stay or to walk out of the orphanage? Or do they ever? What?

Well, I think they join the military of the protectorate, right? I think they join ECOPS. I think that's what you're training to do. So the scorpion who gets promoted, I guess, the rapist. The bad, like... Yeah, the blonde. Yeah, the blonde rapist. Does he... So that's just his trajectory, everyone's trajectory. It's like, that's why rubber suit Nazi trench coat is like, oh, you're the guy for me. We're going to put you on the fast track.

We're going to get you into one of those motorcycles with two side cars. Slow it down. And laser guns that don't kill, that just like stun people, it seems like. There's no lethal force, really. Except for the fucking solar babies. The solar babies.

babies kill and are psyched. No, watch this montage. End that robot at the end. No, no. It's a lot more. The robot's got it coming. Take a listen to all the solar baby kills. We'll talk about this scene that everyone's looking at right now. But the solar babies kill with reckless abandon and are psyched about it. This is a montage of their greatest kills. Ah!

Motorcycles close. They cheer. Skate, skate, skate. Forgot your boot. They tie two people to a car. Send them out to die. Take it easy, fellas. Like, that is a death sentence. Yes. Say hello to Sparky. Ah! Ah!

Hello! Let's move. Oh, this is wild. Look at this person just watching.

I better go. That is how a very powerful fetish gets created. Yeah. They are, the solar babies are straight up murderers. Yeah.

Like the most efficient murderers. Like none of them are ever even hurt really. And they go up against the army, like the other team, like all the members of the, like everybody. They can't get touched once. And no remorse. There's never a moment where like,

"Oh, he just killed those two guards." It's like, "Ha ha! Yes!" Or they're never like, "Don't let the kids see us murdering people." The kid's like, "Get him!" What does he say to the guys they send into the desert? Like, "Have a good time." Yeah, "Have a nice trip! See you later, dummies!" "You're gonna be dead in days, you idiots!"

My other really big complaint about the Solar Babies is that aside from the nerd Solar Baby, there's no difference between any of them. I don't know what makes one Solar Baby him or what makes one Solar Baby her. They're just all Solar Babies. Yeah, there's no personalities. The only thing that I could kind of draw was that Peter Delouise, you know Peter. Is he the one that I also think is Jason Patrick? Yeah.

He's the one that looks... He's the fatter Jason Patrick. There's two guys... Oh, I disagree with that. There's two guys that I never knew who they were. Yeah. They looked a lot alike. Jason Patrick you could tell because they called him Jason. Yes. So I think they were like... He's very difficult. Rabbit was like, look, I'm calling him Jason. You call him by his name in the script. You call him his character name, I'm going to call him Jason Patrick. Well...

And again, not to play so many clips back to back, but I think this is worthy that, I think because the characters had no delineation, they just say their names a million times. And this is a little name montage here. Jason, Metra, Rabbit, Tara, and Todd. Where's Daniel? Where's Daniel? Rabbit. Tara. Daniel! Jason! Jason!

Hey, Jason! Come on, Jace! Jason. Daniel. Metron. Metron! It's Jace! Metron. Rabbit. Metron. Jason. Daniel's gone. Daniel. Rabbit! Watch this! Daniel. Alright, Daniel. Rabbit! Rabbit! Tara. Jason. Daniel. Metron. Tara. Daniel. Come on, Daniel! Daniel! Daniel!

Where's Tara? Tara? Oh, Tara! Tara! Jason! Tara! Oh, Tara! Tara! This is Jason. Jason. And Rabbit. This is Metron. Okay. Tug. That's Daniel. Jason. Daniel. Daniel. Tara. Daniel. Come on, Tara. Come on, Tara. Where's Daniel? Daniel! Daniel! Be careful, Daniel! Jason! Jason, come on! Jason! Hey, Jason! Jason! Jason! Come on, Daniel!

Oh, that's great.

You can watch that on Movie Bitches on YouTube. That is, yeah, that's a lot of names. But yeah, they aren't, there's no personalities. Jamie Girtz is the girl. Love her. Great. I love Jamie Girtz, like unabashedly, like one of the great, my favorite, like 80s teen movie stars. Like the best. And she's great, but can we talk about what happened to her bank? Yeah. Yeah, we can. Yeah, we can. After Tire Town? After she took off that hat?

She took off that hat and had like 80s bags. This is the craziest thing about that moment because I know she's in that, well, I don't really know why they all got in garbage bags and witch's hats. They all put on disguises. They all put on disguises at which point everybody was like, oh, they've disappeared. We can't find them. Yeah, we can't find the group of five kids that travel on roller skates. And then inexplicably, they just took their disguises off and people were like, there they are.

Okay, but that's a comedic moment to take off your witch's hat or it was like a half hat. I don't know what the fuck it was. It was like a garbage bag that was frayed. Okay, to take it off and then to have your bangs. Straight up. Dance straight.

I mean, it was a wall of bangs. Arguably, it was just like something about Mary. It was that. It was insane. But then they played it out for like three scenes. It was crazy that she kept it beyond when she just took off the hat. And I wonder if they shot it, the first thing, and her bangs were just like that, and they realized they'd done it, and were like, oh.

oh, well, I guess continuity, guys. She wouldn't have done anything. No one runs their hands through their hair, so we should just keep it. Yeah, we have to. Okay, so she's going to have to have that for two more scenes. And then it became very popular hairstyle. Oh, Gertz.

Jamie Girtz, I once, I worked at a Blockbuster video growing up and I ran a fake autograph signing for a girl that I thought was cute that was Jamie Girtz. I was like, why don't you pretend like you're Jamie Girtz and we'll run an autograph session here at Blockbuster and then people got fake Jamie Girtz autographs. Okay, I have to say the tales of this, your time at Blockbuster What?

It was like... That is fraud. The animals were out of the zoo. Were there any managers at this Blockbuster? It was a really cool manager. I also never remember an autograph signing at a Blockbuster. That would be a very weird event. The one I went to had no staff. You would just eventually walk out with the movie.

I remember my dad brought me to an autograph signing at a blockbuster for Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. Who was there? The three kids, not Rick Moranis. At which point you were like, someday I will work here.

Someday I will do this but fraud. Are you sure? By the way, are you sure it was the three kids? Yeah, by the way. I actually have the... It looks like a placemat of the three kids' faces on it. It's like, honey, I shrunk the kids. And they have all three of their autographs on it. That's amazing. I'll fucking sell it to anybody. Come on.

Don't sell your childhood, Paul. If you got the money, money talks, bullshit walks. Come on, people. I got a honey-extracted kids' kids. I feel like it's really weird that this show has devolved to you just trying to sell personal belongings. I've also got a lawnmower that I'm not using anymore. Just like a swap shop segment. I got DVD player, good one. Not Blu-ray, HD DVD. It's really good. It was the better. Smart DVD.

Yeah, so then that's when this movie... I mean, why... Okay, here's my biggest problem with this movie. I don't know how long this movie takes place as a period over. For example...

Adrian Pasdar, who is the guy who has the owl, who steals Bodai and runs into the desert. By the way, he is a 45-year-old man. Yes, yes. Not yet married to Natalie Maines, but yes, a full-grown adult man living in the orphanage, has an owl and birds talk to him. He steals the magical orb. Wait, birds talk to him?

They come to him. He draws a thing in the sand. Birds land. Kids gather around, very impressed. But they're much more impressed by a guy just kicking the sand. Like, he's charmed the birds into landing right on his sand drawing of birds. But then this other guy's like, fuck you! And they're like, yeah! That was cool how the birds landed, but that was legitimately awesome when you kicked the sand. Yeah.

He's also so clearly has magical powers. Why would you ever piss off a guy like that? But then we also, I believe, are meant to like him. He steals Bodai. He goes into the desert. They chase after him. Blah, blah, blah. At a certain point, though, he is just working in Tire Town. He, like, has a job in the tire mines. Oh, yeah, Tire Town. In Tire Town. Am I crazy or are they like, where are we? And then they look up and they go, Tire Town. Tire Town, right? Yeah.

At which point, like, the whistle blows. He comes out of the mine or whatever he's been doing. Their faces are all over the place. Yeah. Their faces are all over the news. Like, these are wanted escapees from... It wasn't news. It seemed like just, like, it was such a bizarre way to present. But how long does he... Wait, wait. How long has he had a job?

And then the same thing happens. They lose track. The tire town blows up. They think that Gertz is dead. They skate around the desert for a while. And finally, they come across her in the middle of the desert. She's like, I live here. Yeah. Like, this is my father. I'm here. This is my father. We're in an oasis now. Oh, we're the royal family from Spaceballs. Didn't you know that?

Wait, how long is this? That's my problem with the movie is that it's like there's like too many messiahs. Like, Bodhi is some sort of messiah, obviously. He's been, you know, Charles Durning asks, is this true? Have you heard about this?

I don't know. Then Lucas Haas, I'm sort of like, okay, he's the one that found Bodai, so he's kind of the messenger of Bodai. But then Owlboy is clearly the messiah, but then Jamie Girtz is like also the messiah. But then at the end, Bodai breaks up, and then they all become messiahs because they're like, now we have him inside of us. You know what's amazing? You know who's not the messiah? Jason Patrick.

Yeah. Who is arguably the leader of their group. He is like the hero of the movie. He seems to have no powers or no distinct skills. He's like, he's a for real zero. Yeah. What's really strange is that he doesn't join the eco-warrior movement. No, they're like, we're out of here. We're primed for that at some point, that he's going, and I guess maybe he does become an eco-warrior in his own way.

Well, he does end up fighting for water and for the resources of the people. I think he's just a hothead, though. I think he'd fight for whatever, you know? I think he just wants to fight. Yeah.

See, my question, see, here's the thing. Outside of, I'm confused about how this government works because in Tire Town, what are they mining for exactly? Tires? Yeah. Okay. We got to dig up all the old tires. I think it is a tire-based economy. I'm not sure. Okay. Okay.

But I think it might be that. So they're making tires, but it doesn't seem like anyone's really using them. They're not putting them on cars. No. I just don't understand what they're... Well, maybe Tire Town is suffering due to the roller skate boom. Possibly. Like, no one's going to go around on roller skates. Maybe that's what they're doing. It is a self-sustained town, though. I mean, that's why they're making motorcycles with two side cars, is they're like, how many fucking tires can we get on a vehicle? Yeah.

Maybe they're taking old car tires and turning them into tiny roller skating tires. And then just roller skating around that town. Oh, yeah. Up and down. Roller skates, it seems to be like how they travel. It's like Starlight Express. Solar babies seem to travel like that. But everybody else. Yeah.

Oh, no, no. Yeah, it's not a Mad Max thing where I don't think there's a fuel shortage, no? No. Yeah. It seems like there's plenty of fuel. Right. Oh, yeah, and they've got desert cars that they drive, like the Nazi party, they drive around in desert cars. They're not on skates. But I guess my question is, do you think everyone else is coming to Tire Town for their tires, purchasing them there, and then leaving? No, to me, Tire Town... Because if Tire Town is in the

middle of nowhere. Right. I think they manufacture or they dig up tires from the ground. They mine for tires and then they send them to whatever the capital of the protectorate, aka the system is. So they're like, yeah, they're doing, because a lot of the... Wait, sorry, last question. So they send them and I'm assuming they're paid for those tires. Not well.

They appear to be paid in bottles of water. Then they're paid in water? Is that how this whole thing is running? It is a water-based economy. Yeah, because wherever you go, you can promise people water if they catch the solar business. That has currency everywhere. And the guys, the bounty hunters. Okay, I had a question about the bounty. Okay, go ahead. I want to say, are they digging for tires? Yeah. Don't dig. Just go find more tires. Yes. Yes, they are.

Is it that kind of thing where like, oh, 500 years ago, this used to be a tire dump and then this desert grew over it. So now we have to dig in to get to the tires. Sometimes I still dream of when tires were not underground. It's a metaphor. I don't like my job very much. When they were made. I always wanted to be like a dentist assistant, but I work at the orphanage.

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Friends. Oh, friends. You want a podcast? I'm going to tell you about one. It is called Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes. Now, after Cheers wrapped up decades ago, Ted and Woody have reunited sharing stories with their friends that they have met over the years. Kristen Bell, Will Arnett, Conan O'Brien, Jane Fonda. These are just a few of the guests they have had on their show just recently.

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- You wanna talk about the bounty hunters. - I wanted to talk about the bounty hunters only because I was really wondering this. At a certain point, the bounty hunters, they catch the solar babies. - Can we even talk about how they're introduced Home Depot style. They're hanging outside the Nazi headquarters going, "Hey, hey, I'm a Nazi!"

Hey, you need an assassin? Come on, hire me. I'm a good assassin. It's like driving into a Home Depot full of bounty hunters. And the guy later on is like, the bad guy's like, go get me those two ragtag assassins out front. It would be like going to Home Depot and Boba Fett was out front. Yeah. Remember the guys who delivered the barbecue? Get them. Yeah.

Also, what kind of Nazis outsource their violence? Right? Like, Nazis love violence. That guy killed a plant for fun. Oh, yeah. Why wouldn't he? And he has a personal vendetta against the solar base. Almost everyone does, though. There is a point where it's like everyone in the protectorate is looking for the solar base. Here's the thing. Here's why. Okay. And you'd argue they are the easiest to find. They are so trackable. You know why? Because they're roller skating through the fucking desert. Right?

They're leaving a trail. They're making no effort to conceal their tracks. From the orphanage to wherever they are now, there is a straight line that you can follow. Yes. You ever see like a child walk...

That's what this movie is. They don't ever clean up behind themselves. You know when you see a child walking down the street alone and you're like, that's weird. Imagine if all children lived in one orphanage then were not allowed to leave. It'd be super weird to see a kid rolling around. Five kids never split up. Well, granted, most of them are adults. Yes. Two of them are gay for pay porn actors. Yes.

One of them is four. Shirts off on the sink, kids. Shirts off. And one of them is one of Dom DeLuise's sons. Is he actually of the DeLuises? Yeah. Of the laughing till horse DeLuises? Boy, who's the mother that that boy turned out like that? Who's the mother, I ask? I'm not sure. Brother to Michael DeLuise, who played...

Luke's sister's husband on Gilmore Girls. Also, Kelly Bishop in this movie. Emily Gilmore in like one scene. Gilmore Girls. Yeah, nerds. Don't think I'm not going to notice Gilmore Girls connections in this shit. I did want to say. I looked it up. Which Deluise? I was like, is that the Gilmore Girls Deluise? No, it is not.

If I ever have a daughter and she gets married, my toast at the wedding is going to be Jamie Girtz's father's speech. And I'm going to enter that way in that outfit with a beard and I'll go, long ago there was a great iceberg.

There was something to the introduction of him as her father felt wrong to me. It felt like they were dating. Yeah. Yeah. He was touching her too fondly. It was also the most fertile about the environment and just like everybody's got wet hair and it

Yeah. It's also the most introduction of any character. He perfectly enters. He also... He's like, I did five Bible pictures in the 50s. I know how to enter. It really is exactly what you're saying. He is introduced as a Christ-like figure. He looks like Christ, beard, robes, all of it. And he's in the cave painting? He's in the oasis. Yeah, he's in the painting. The one that looks like an anti-violence mural in San Pedro or something? Yeah.

It's like this bright pastel. Look at this ancient cave painting. And it's like a Selena mural. It was like done yesterday. No, but why does he, that oasis that's sitting there, so he just, he's not willing to fight for everyone? No, because they lost too many people. They found their desert iceberg and they're fine with it. Their underground desert iceberg.

And they're cool. I wanted to talk, well, let's watch his dad walk in. Yeah, please. This is my favorite moment. Water, running water. Water comes right out of the rock. No, it comes from here. This is called ice. Thousands of years ago, a giant glacier was trapped under a lava flow. As it melts, it feeds the springs that make our oasis. This is Green Tree. I don't like that. He's my father.

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh, no. She nuzzles. Rabbit knows. Rabbit knows that's wrong. Rabbit's like, say it however you want. That does not look good. Call it Bodhi or Bodhi. That shit is wrong. Also, a second later, he brings out another child. It seems that he moved on. Yeah. Rabbit quickly. My only assumption is that he...

He has not seen Jamie Girtz for her entire life. She does not remember him. Yeah, who's this fucking rich guy that lets his daughter live in Orphanage 43 where even the warden doesn't like his job? Oh, see, I figured she was taken away and he couldn't get to her or something. So are you not allowed to have your kids in the protectorate maybe? That's what I'm guessing. But by the way, he's a famous dude. She's got the tattoo on her hand. Wouldn't you like the electorate or protectorate to be like, hey...

We should maybe do something with her. Here's one thing I'll ask in addition to that. She has the tattoo on her hand of the Oasis people, but she arrived at the orphanage as a baby, so someone tattooed a baby's hand. Somebody was like, oh, this eight-month-old needs a green tattoo tattooed

Which was very hard to do. It's the best time to do it. It's like piercing ears. You got to do it early. Got to do it early. Also, it's like a hand stamp at Webster Hall or something. That is the wackest tattoo. So...

I don't know. I'm now thinking maybe children aren't allowed under the laws of the protectorate. I think all children are raised in these orphanages to fight for the protectorate. That's terrible. That's terrible. We really just took a turn there. It's not cool. That's terrible. Thank God the solar babies are here to...

easily access every military facility on the globe apparently without any corruption. Also, they literally walk into the main room at the end. The doors is open. There is no security code to break nothing. They go through the front gate, go through two doors. First, they find Adrian Pazdar. He's like, hey guys. And they're like, okay, we'll bust you out. Then the next door they go into, oh, here's the room where Bodai is. As if in this giant like damn room

crazy villain lair, there was basically three rooms. And a ladder. Well, I guess it also, though, begs the question, you know, I know it's only been 41 years, but at a certain point, these children in the orphanage are going to have to reproduce and create other children, otherwise the population can't continue. Well, blonde guy is trying to get laid hard. He definitely is. He's trying real hard. He definitely is, but they don't have any plan to, you know, keep the human race going, really.

Really? No, they really... So your problem is that the movie lacked a more potent sexual energy for the teens? No, but it's like, I do agree. The Protectorate has no plan. Correct. Again, Owlboy, that is a magical person. And they are very sexual. At least hook him up to machines and exploit him. When they go to the desert town where... What's the name of his people? The Indian Reservation? Yeah, what's the name of his people?

Chikikwa. Chikadi. When they go to the Chikadi village in the middle of the desert, those people are horny as fuck. They are just like all grinding on each other all the time before they all get shot up. They're fucking in front of wax sculptures of the Wolfman. I did have a question about that though. It's like they kill, you know, the blonde rapist kills the owl and then it dies. He's like, yeah, killed it. And he's like whipping it around.

So it's like, then the solar babies come and then the guy is hiding behind a good thing, watching them bury his owl. So did he stay there for that? Or did he already leave? He stayed there, but he didn't bury his owl. Yeah, bury your own owl, man. It seemed like the solar babies came a lot later. He's like, you know what? What if I leave it out here and wait?

until someone comes. If they bury it, then we're going to be cool. Like, I mean, like, yeah, solar babies. It was, it was a really nice funeral for that owl. Oh yeah. And it almost seemed strange. Like they wasn't one of them. He wasn't.

He wasn't one of them. He was, he was like, but they were cool with him at the orphanage. They were cool with him. It just seemed like a very spiritual and sacred ceremony for this owl. I was surprised. Yeah.

Let's go into the audience here. Let's see if the audience has any points of view that we may not have talked about here. If you have a question, raise your hand. And obviously the title of this movie was odd because it really, they are solar babies, but it wouldn't lead you to believe it's about the team. And also it lacks menace. Yes. Oh, tremendous. What would you say the title of this movie should be? And what is your question?

Glowing Balls of Fury. I like that. That's good. And what's your question? Okay, so this movie was released in theaters the same day as Star Trek IV, in which a probe comes to Earth, releases a glowing orb that sucks up all the water, where Kirk has to go back. I'm sorry, this is really nerdy. No, I know all this. I do. I do.

Where Kirk has to go back in time, find some whales, blah, blah, blah. What if this movie is the alternate reality or alternate ending of Kirk's mission failing, going back in time? I like this question because I love Star Trek. 99% of you are like, fast forward. Great question. It is a great question. Did you guys have that thought? It was more of a statement, but it was fascinating. It was.

We'll take it. I've not seen Star Trek IV. What? Come on, it's so good. Is it? They have to cover up Spock's ears. The description I just heard sounded terrible. Yeah. You know what it sounded like? It sounded like, have you seen Solar Babies? So, unless I am forced to, by the rationale of this prison sentence of this podcast, watch that movie, I suspect, based on your description, sir, that I will not.

There's a lot more jokes in Star Trek 4, like Scotty tries to use the computer, and he picks up the mouse, and he goes, hello, computer. And the guy's like, just use the mouse. You know, it's great. It's a great movie. Classic Scotty. Do you have a question right here? Just an old Scottish actor. He's a character man. There's a lot more jokes in this one. That's a good sell for Star Trek. Finally, they get to the humor. Your title, your question.

My title would probably be like Sand Goonies. I kind of got a Goonies vibe from the movie. You know, I thought that too. Sand Goonies is great. And can we talk about, can we talk about that? This guy's wearing a hat that says The Goonies. Yeah. Can we talk about that robot that was programmed to enjoy? It's... Yeah. Terminex. Terminex, the most looking... Like, like... Robot. Yeah, it looked like the robot from... God damn.

Lost in Space. It looked like the robot from Lost in Space, basically. And by the way, there's no way you could program a robot to enjoy something. Right. I mean, you could program a robot to, you know... You're thinking like somebody from year 21. I guess I am. I'll tell you this much. I didn't like that idea. I'm like, I don't want any of these robots having any emotions.

I will just show you a picture of this robot. The robot is the most bold. I mean, it is. Yeah, and it's supposed to be so precise. They brag about how precise. It's basically a giant drill bit. It's a drill with a head. And it's like, it could take an eye out of a bird. It's like, I don't even know how that thing's fucking catching a bird. It could bury an owl. Yeah.

It plays center at skateball. Sir, your title and your question. Title is, it's the desert, but there's roads everywhere. Like that? Did you write down notes on an Ikea brochure? Yes, I did. Get a pad of paper, bro. Okay, that's an Ikea PSE purchase. Okay, yes, your question.

Did anybody notice that the cars that the Nazis were driving looked like a mixture of Darkwing Duck and Darth Vader Hot Wheels? Of course. Like, derrrr. There is that few, errr, idiot. We all got that.

After Lucasfilm sold to Disney, they made matchbox cards. They literally have a Darth Vader matchbox and it looks like a dragster. Like Darth Vader is getting in a little speedster going around with his lightsaber. It's amazingly dumb. Yes, your name and your title and your question. My name is Bree. Xanadu 2 Mad Max Fury Road for kids.

I just wanted to point out when at the Chikani place did you guys notice it was in front of the Xanadu hotel like there was a nod to Xanadu you're right it was in front of the Xanadu hotel which means it did take place in what used to be America wait really I don't think the Xanadu hotel is the hotel from Xanadu really prove me wrong

I would love it if they were part of a shared universe. I would love it if those movies are from the same universe. What if Gene Kelly is the orb? Gene Kelly is Bodai. I love that. Who has a hand up over here? Yes, your name, your question. Here we go. And your order, your title.

Matt, Starlight Express, Fury Road. Great. Yes, yes. Yes, he's right. He's correct. Of all of them, I agree with that one the most. How does Terra, when they're at the Eco Warrior place, have the plans or blueprints for the bunker? Yeah.

Say, what was it? How does she have, she comes to them when they're leaving the Oasis with like painted on like an animal skin map to the bunker and to the inside of the bunker or whatever. Like, how does she have that is his question. Yeah, how did they get blue, do they make blueprints on animal skins? Well, it's going to be answered in Solar Babies Rogue One. Ha ha ha ha.

It's about how they stole that map so that they would understand the aqua facility that the protectorate operates at the dam. Forrest Whitaker is supposed to be great in it. Yep.

I would love a precursor movie that explained that storyline. All right, sir, your name, your title, and your question. Jake, Roller Dummies, and I'm not convinced that Bodhi is good. Bodhi. Bodhi, sorry. Hey, you know what? What are you, a rabbit? You do you. No, you do you. You do you. You say it the way you want. I mean, as soon as the solar babies find him, they start killing him.

He makes it rain or whatever. We're under the assumption that there was some sort of nuclear fallout. So anything that's coming down is like,

acid rain. It's going to be just poisoning everything it touches. You're a scientist. I think it's giving possibly creating possibly history. You know that? You know that for sure? You know it's acid rain? Those are raining inside. If they showed this, if the movie went on for another two months, there'd just be people with tumors. Wait, the movie?

If the movie itself lasted for two months... I'm sure a lot would happen. Think what happened in an hour 34. Oh my god, I'm 400 hours into this movie. It's blowing my mind. Boat Eye is bad. Wait until hour 800, it gets great. It's still half the length of the first Hobbit movie. This guy with his pro-protectorate propaganda coming in here like, Boat Eye is very bad for the children. They shouldn't have rainwater.

Bodai, has anybody thought that Bodai and his reign might be nothing more than just left-wing claptrap? Has anyone considered that scorpions are winners and what we need at this juncture? Classic Bodai denier. And he called him Bodi. This makes total sense. I saw a motorcycle with two sidecars at the valet. This is his car. I saw a rubber coat at the coat check.

Can we talk about the clothes really quickly? Oh, yes, please, please. Literally, everyone is wearing fucking rags and, like, banana peels. And then Nazi guy has, like, the most custom-made coat. And then Angelica Houston is wearing a white blouse in a dusty, in a world that is only dirty. Yeah. Fake Angelica Houston's wearing, and it's like, they're the only two people still getting up every morning and being like, I'm gonna make an effort. Yeah.

She's also wearing a blouse that has like six inches of shoulder pads. Yeah. To the point where when I saw her body, I thought, oh, she's a heavy woman. And that's great. And that's great. And that's great. And that's great. And no problems here.

That's great for body image until her hands catch fire. And a child watches her die. When they cut to that shot, I realized when you saw a full-length shot of her, she's very thin. She just has... Also great, which is also great. Fine, fine with me. I don't care. Again, Bodhi Bodhi. You do you. Yes.

I was trying to get a sense of this body. No, because what she's wearing is like one of those 80s blousey kind of jumpsuit-y things that is like layered fabric, like pleats on pleats on pleats. It's all pleats, basically, which is, you know, like a real thing in a lot of these movies that is like there's probably 75 feet of fabric on her body. Absolutely. Absolutely. And she conservatively weighs 100 pounds. Yes.

I do want to talk about what this guy brought up about the end, because the dam breaks, the next scene there's an over... So many people must die. So many people must die because they live where the water was and isn't anymore. Yes. And all of it comes through, kills hundreds of people, I guess. But then a thunderstorm starts as well. Because of the dam breaking? I think because of Bodai. But why couldn't he have just done that any time?

Why? Yeah, I agree with that. Because Bodai seems to spend a lot of time hanging around in people's backpacks and getting played with like a ball instead of doing what he's there to do. Well, that's their fault. Which is bring back, which is reverse climate change. Right. Which is what we are doing to this world, which is why we're here talking about it tonight. Look it up. Look it up. We're about to do all of Al Gore's slideshow right now. Listen, the thing is...

The thing about Bodai is that he, I think, responds to someone really asking him to do something. Right. Which is why the ending was a little confusing because it didn't seem as though there was some energy with that, you know, headed his way asking him to...

It's a lot of confusing stuff because I also feel like they're only protecting Bodai. And then at one point when Lucas Haas drops it, Jason Patrick is like, Daniel, no! Like, no, yeah, pick it up. It's right there on the ground. Sacrifice yourself for Bodai. Should be everybody's M.O. Bodai is the most important. Bodai is, in this movie, Harry Potter.

Bodai is the one. Bodai is the lead character in the movie, right? But also, it felt like he dropped it at his feet and was like, we're done. We're getting run. Get out of here. Let's all roll away in tires. See, here's the strange thing, though, about Bodai. There are times when, I mean, we know him as a ball. That's how we met him. But there are times where... And that's how he ends. From the beginning to the end. At one point, he's a dome. He's sort of a party tent. He can shapeshift. So if I'm Bodai, I'm just like...

I'm releasing myself out of backpacks and just getting the fuck out of there. Like, why does Bodai allow himself to even be... Because he's polite. Yeah. Like, he's put into that contraption where the robot comes and the fake Angelica Houston says that we're going to disembowel him. And it's a ball.

Yeah. Like, what do you mean you're going to disembowel him? Like, this is a straight up ball of energy right now that you've been hitting with lasers. By the way, you're not going to pull bowels out of it.

That would be, I would have loved that. If the robot was like, and like it just like all of a sudden Bodai, like his asshole just fell out. No. Entirely. They are not, they are such bad Nazis. They're not even curious about how to exploit any of these amazing resources. Like if they found E.T., they would be like, let's fuck him. Yeah. Fuck him in the ass. Oh, let's beat the shit out of him. Put a drill in his head.

Let's beat the shit out of him and take his money.

Yes, bring him to me. You have a title the movie in your question who yes, I'm Jessica of sand Nazis, I guess for her title why in the Orphanage why is there a roller skate training at all if they're being? inducted into like the Pro the system and they don't have roller skates at any point I Think I think Charles Durning

Because he's... You know, he doesn't like his job. I think he... I think he brought skateball to them to be like, look, these kids have to have something, you know? And then Evil Nazi Rubber Suit was like, yeah, I'm in on that, but in a bad way. So I think... But he's also like... I think they built the skate park. I mean, it is an orphanage. They were like, look, we gotta give them fucking something. Yeah, but here's the weird thing about that skate session. You know...

It's set up, I thought, when they first skated in there, they're all going to be skating in the same way and doing some Nazi moves because there's all that Nazi video. It's almost like videos of Rodney King beating up on the screens. It's like a Macintosh ad. But then it actually, all it is is just an all skate where everyone's just skating.

Oh, about the video screens during the all skate, during the kids skate. Like, are they matching what's happening? They seem to be. Because like when people fall, like the people in the video fall.

Does that make sense? Yeah, I noticed that as well, but I think that was them trying to be clever filmmakers. I don't think that was supposed to be... Oh, that was the day they tried? Yeah. I don't think that was supposed to be mirroring... The one day. I don't think they were supposed to be mirroring the screens purposefully. Right. I do want to say about this audience, you guys have come very prepared. I've seen pages and pages of notes here. Sir, your title, your question. I still want somebody to start a Tumblr where everybody can post their nerd notes. Yes.

My name is Tim. The title would be Lost Boys meets Witness. Yes. You guys need to decide who you like best.

My question's about the legal system. It's illegal to know where you're from. It's illegal. Fiction is illegal. Yes. And if someone escapes from the orphanage, by law, you're required to surgically alter them. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The surgically alter. That was a weird thing she said. We'll be surgically altered. In what way? The most interesting things about the...

this society were just mentioned and we never saw. I mean, even them saying that the kids were medicated, it sounded like they probably were on some medication at some point and they thought they were taking meds that made them hallucinate. But there were references. I mean, I don't know what that could mean. I don't know if we saw people who were surgically altered. If so, I didn't notice it. We never saw it come to fruition. That's certainly true. I don't think so, unless it's underneath clothing.

So you think it's genital altering? Genital in nature? I don't know that it's not. Hey, Paul? Yeah. Hey, Paul? You were all thinking it. Can you not scream sewing vaginas shut? Calm down. We were all thinking it, guys. None of us were. Sewing buttholes, sewing vaginas. Nobody was thinking this. It was on the tip of everyone's tongue. It was not at all.

You came to you real quick. This audience is right behind me here. They've all pictured a sewn butthole. Sir, your name, your title, and your question. My name's Brian. By the way, Brian, who has Brian notepaper, your name is at the top with a soccer ball on it. It's from third grade. With a soccer ball on it? It is. It is like from third grade. Where's my notepad?

It's solar 20-somethings. And did anyone else think that Jamie Girtz's Messiah father looked like they put robes and a beard and long hair on Norm Macdonald?

Wow, one person did. Get married. Yes. Get married. That is a How Did This Get Made love connection. Yes. Stand up. Did you say Norm MacDonald? Yeah. I didn't get that. I got more Barry Gibb. Can I look again? Is it possible? Yeah, we'll take a quick look. Barry Gibb to me was one that, yeah. By the way, I bet he does because you said it and someone jumped on it so quickly. All right, here we go. We're going to take a look at this guy, but this is not going to be good for the people at home.

Does that look like Norm Macdonald to you or Barry Gibb? Barry Gibb. It's also like a little Richard Chamberlain-y. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't think Norm Macdonald served, but you two should definitely get together because you saw that. Oh, my question about the bounty hunters was this. So the bounty hunters find the solar babies. They find them wherever they are in the desert or whatnot. They grab them. They lash them to their cart, and the solar babies are like the horses that are pulling the bounty hunter's cart. Until they found the solar babies, how did that cart move? Wow.

They're in the middle of the, they're tracking the solar babies with nothing to pull the cart with. So is one of them constantly pulling the cart? Like, what's their life?

What's that? I would watch a prequel movie or a side movie that's just the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead of those two characters. Are you pitching out a giant Marvel-like universe stemming from Solar Baby? All of it. Yes, Star Wars-esque universe in which there's a bounty hunter movie, there's a prequel movie about the map. Does it all come back to Blazing Saddles? It all comes back to Spaceballs, I think. Oh, yes. Yes.

Paul, very excited about that idea. Guys, I want to see more Spaceballs. Wait, no, it's not. I thought Jamie Girtz was in Spaceballs for a second, but it's not. No, it's Daphne Zuniga. It is. Here we go. If you have a comment that you want to talk to us about that we didn't cover and you're listening right now, you can call us at 619-PAUL-

Ask. A-S-K. 619-Paul-Ask. Paul, are you sure it's not Paul-Ass? You know, a lot of people have been asking for that. No, it's not Paul-Ass. That's a different number for something very different. And if you do call that number, I will tell you it's confidential. And whatever we do is in the privacy of our house. Um...

So you can leave things like this. Hi, Paul. My name is Erin, and I just wanted to chime in on June's distaste for man flexibility. And I'm right there with her. I think that there is something to the stretching of one's tank and balls that is just...

I'm palatable and I fully support June. Also, June and I both don't really love fun. And I think that that also has something to do with the distaste for seeing a man in full 180 degree splits. So that is someone commenting on June's lack of your distaste for man flexibility. So there you go. That's great. I mean, I think there's a lot more ladies out there

Who are afraid to come forward to support your anti-buns, anti-flexibility movement. I wouldn't say I'm anti-buns. I just think the movie and TV industry think women are super into buns. And I don't think we are.

Wow. Controversial. Very controversial. Well, obviously, we have a lot of opinions about buns, about splits. Obviously, we had an opinion about this movie, but there are other people out there that had a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions.

We've heard from Jason, June, and Paul, but we've yet to hear from all of the online critics that disagree this movie's crap. It's time for Second Opinions. It's time for Second Opinions. Yeah! What's your name, sir? Uh, John. Give it up for John. Great work! Very good. Great work. These are... Remix them!

Remix that internet! These are five star opinions called from Amazon. Here we go. First one from Robin B. Magoran. Wonderful story. And the cast did a magnificent job to make this worthwhile entertainment. I rated this an A plus grade for being very different and a wonderful movie for the entire family to sit and watch. I don't think there are many around as enjoyable as this one.

There are literally tens of thousands.

You want to know more? I'm not going to spoil it for you. Why don't you retreat to the lounge room, put on the television, grab the popcorn, relax to the greatest entertainment this show can produce and enjoy. Does she live in the year 41? She speaks in 41 speaks. Go to the lounge room. There was a lot of fake lingo. They'd be like, let's accelerate.

Or as somebody said at one point, somebody goes, "You believe all that dog squeeze they tell us in class?" Dog squeeze is my favorite. "You believe all that dog squeeze?" What?

Like, that's obviously like dog shit, but they're like, we can't say shit. There's kids in the movie. They can murder people. We can light a lady's hands on fire and then electrocute her to death. We can have them commit the act of murder, irrevocably taking a human life, but we cannot have them hear shit.

And this is right here. This is from Kermiton. He wrote, as a 75-year-old man purchasing this DVD. Whoa. Wow. This is already an Amber Alert. Purchase. This is already an Amber Alert. Whoa. As a 75-year-old man purchasing this DVD because I just saw a quick view and it caught my attention. So I purchased it and found out it had a good story, smart young people, and a good production.

Take a chance on this one. And anyway, if you don't like it, just give it to a kid that you don't like. Oh, no. Nasty old man. That is like, that is a pedophile's review. Like for sure.

I saw a quick view of it and bought the DVD. You know, he's just like on the internet just searching around and he's like, yeah, here's a good quick view. Okay, this is, okay, here we go. This is from Elisa Rosales.

If you like sci-fi, you'll like this. It was a movie from my childhood, and I wish there were more movies to access from that time period. Five stars. Nope. 1986 was this movie. You can't find any movies from that time. You can't find anything. It's impossible. There's no way to know.

And I thought this was worth playing here. It's the first ever video second opinion. - Oh my God. - Whoa. - I didn't know this was possible. - Yes, it is indeed. And here we go, and it's so sweet and lovely. Here we go.

I was really excited to receive Solar Rubies in the mail. I had totally forgotten that I ordered it. And then I went on vacation and then I got back and it was here. And I really enjoyed watching the movie because it is a good childhood movie. But I had forgotten so much of it and it really brought back a lot of really good memories. Oh my gosh. The sweetest.

Solar Babies is good memories for him. But he can't remember any of it. He had forgotten a lot of it. And he had forgotten he ordered it. Yeah. There's a lot of talk of how they purchased it. Here's what happened. He should go... There was a link. A hyperlink.

For a website selling DVDs. It's not like you read the New York Times and theater critics are like, well, first of all, I had to go to the box office. Yeah. I don't like seats in the orchestra. I go for rear mezzanine. But I think a lot of this... I had bought the tickets and I didn't realize it was Tuesday. Someone told me, hey, I know you just got back from vacation, but it's Tuesday. Okay.

I do think for him, though, a lot of his review has to do with the fact that he just got back from vacation. Yeah. It's that feeling of like, oh, the good days are over. Like, I'm back to the grind. Oh, see, I feel very differently. And then there's a special surprise for him. I feel like a doctor could diagnose a neurological disorder with this video of a man who cannot remember.

the movie from his childhood who doesn't remember ordering it like has like severe in like one and a half minutes severe memory problems also like Stanley Kubrick like framed he's like between two doors it's very weird it's center point focus he's perfectly centered between two white doors and he can't remember how he got there

If you want to find out more about Solar Babies, you can go to slashfilm.com. There will be a brand new article written by Blake J. Harris there. He will get into it for another one of his oral histories. Anything to add before we wrap it up here? Anything that we didn't talk about? We didn't talk about them skating over that ravine. Oh, yeah. The jump. The big jump. The skate jump. And getting to build faster speeds by everybody skating in a circle.

They seem to have a lot. They have roller derby skills. They sometimes have baseball skills. They have pole vaulting skills. I was going to say, he pole vaults over an electric gate like it's nothing. Like, that would be impossible. A, to find a pole for pole vaulting.

That could sustain that kind of weight. Oh, yeah. And it's like an 18-foot fence. I mean, I'm just trying to imagine because the implication is sometimes that these feats are easier or are helped by skates. And I'm trying to imagine if I really had to make that jump, would I want to be on roller skates? I mean, those skates are so heavy. Yeah.

I think I might just... Just try and jump it? Try and jump it. I just... They never seem to be helped by their skates. Again, most of the movie takes place in sand. Yeah. Yeah. I would also argue, why not just make the bridge slightly like one is higher and one is lower? It was a direct, like, straight away. No way. So they really... And Jason Patrick makes it alone. Yeah.

Yeah. He just can do it because he's the boss who is not the star of the movie, who's not the hero. Who again has no powers to speak of besides jumping that big ditch. Yeah, basically. Yeah. I like when the motorcycles try to chase them instead of accelerating. They sort of slow up and do like a donut and then fall into it. Yeah.

Even though kids have just jumped it on roller skates. Yeah, arguably they would have the most speed and they could easily traverse that. They would definitely have the most speed because they're on motorcycles. Yes. And it seems to me like... And they're like, I know how to do it. Yep. And they blow up and the solar babies cheer. Another one dead.

Lucas Haas actually ends up as one of the bounty hunters 30 years later. Like, oh yeah, what do you want? I'll make that movie too. Yeah. I'm into it. I'm very into that. He can only get off if her hands are on fire. And like, and Jamie Girtz is now involved in some sort of weird sexual relationship with her dad.

Because that seems like where that's going. I don't know. We need to get Mel Brooks to talk about this. Blake Harris should get Mel Brooks to kind of find out what went on. I would be curious to know if there were duplicate locations for Spaceballs. If it was like, rush that into production. Like, oh, we have like 12 extra days in the desert. And they were like, okay, all right, get the roller babies.

All right, so you can follow us on our Facebook page. You can follow us on Twitter. Make sure you call us at 617-PAUL-ASK and read our article on SlashFilm. And a big thank you to Avril Halle who pulls all of our clips. You can follow her on Movie Bitches on YouTube. July Diaz, Nate Kiley, Marissa Zeitz, Leanna Waldron, everybody here at Largo, and the people at Earwolf. Thank you guys so much. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

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