Matinee Monday: Sleepwalkers (w/ Lauren Lapkus)
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bas.com slash bonkers and use the code bonkers at checkout. Finally, a movie that asks a shitload of questions and gives you no answers. Plus, wait a second. Stop looking at me, you fucking cat. We saw Sleepwalkers, so you know what that means.

Hey!

How do you steal a god of Egypt's heart? More importantly, where does the butt start? Jason's into it, he's fast and he's curious. Paul's got questions, sooner's getting curious. Lake Placid and Longhand's got talkers getting madder. But hang on, man, I think it's all Jacob's ladder. It's over the top, it still holds hard. We're about to have a face-off, is that duck getting hard? We can't stop the music, Nick Cage gotta get paid. And what more's gonna this get made? How?

Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made? I am Paul Scheer, and I am joined, as always, by Jason Manzoukas. How are you, Jason? Hey.

I'm okay. Having watched this movie, I just don't know what to think. This is an odd one in so many ways. I'm so excited to kind of break it down with all of you. Oh, yeah. And also excited to break it down with our other co-host, the resident scaredy cat, June Diane Rayfield. June, how are you? I'm good. How are you, Paul? Good. You freaked out from the moment this movie started. Yeah.

I would have paid $1,500 to watch this movie with you, June. The first moment that this thing popped on, it was no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then it got worse from there. Well, I was doing it because we watched it last night. I was doing the calculations. Could I actually stay up and finish it?

This was a rare one where I thought I'd be less scared and more kind of able to handle it tired and late at night than in the daytime by myself in our home. And? I think I made the right decision. Yeah, all right, good. I think I made the right decision. I had some scares, so we'll get into it. There was – I have a lot. Well, we'll get into all of it. I have a lot to say.

We are very excited to be joined by a very special guest today. You know her from her amazing podcast with Lauren Lapkus. Oh, now I've already spoiled who it is because your name isn't there. Also, the Wild Horses Show, also here on Earwolf. She's been in Jurassic World, a bunch of great stuff all around. Please welcome Lauren Lapkus. Hi.

I was also scared. I didn't know this was a scary movie because I just didn't look at anything about it. And I put it on in the middle of the day by myself. And I was like, oh, no. It is a weird movie in so many respects. And I would also say...

It's ultimately weird because it introduces these characters that we, from moment one to the end of the movie, I still cannot describe what they are. Very rare is it that the protagonists of the movie are the villains. Yes. Hmm.

Right? The people whose journey you're following, the arc of people who need to, I guess maybe like a Dracula is what they're going for. But like the incestuous mother and son who are the lifeblood of this movie is berserk. The reveal of them being mother and son, I was upset.

Which happens almost immediately. But it's so weird because this movie is about a mother and son, an incestuous mother and son who are kind of like vampires, kind of like werewolves. Well, here's the thing. Wait. Pause, pause, pause. They're not mother and son. They're two creatures. Okay. Okay. And I do not believe those two creatures are...

Mother creature and son creature. I believe they are creatures. I agreed to this last night. And I need to believe that. I agreed to this last night because I knew that you wouldn't continue watching the movie. No. I think, okay, let me ask you this. Yes. Okay. So let's take, for example, that, let's say, for example, that you are right in that they are, I'm assuming, merely posing as mother and son. That's correct. Then why do they keep calling each other mother and son only to each other? Yeah.

Like, why wouldn't they, when no one else is looking, refer to each other by their names? Because they think it's like freaky and fucked up and they love it. But they are not actually mother and son. She screams at the end, you killed my son. That's right. What do you take that to mean?

I honestly, I cannot continue this podcast. Okay. If they're actually mother and son. Oh boy. Creatures. Like I just can't do it. I just can't do her.

I also felt like they basically, like, they just put that little title card at the top to kind of be like, there's some history about cats. And then they're like, we'll never explain that. We'll never explain it. Never was there one person that was like, usually what would happen in these movies, nobody is ever like, I know what this is. Right. These are sleepwalkers. These are shapeshifters. These are nobody ever, there's never a college professor. There's never a Van Helsing. There's nobody who comes along who's like, I know what this is. I know how to fight it. Well, but.

I would argue. Except the cats? The cats. And they're just like looking. Except the nonverbal, the nonverbal cast. Freak.

The nonverbal cast of feral cats. Well, I need to break down a couple things here. First of all, to answer this question, I am believing that they are kind of vampire cats, or at least something that I'm seeing there because they have a lot of cat stuff at the top, right? And then this is what it says at the top of the movie. I wrote it down. Yes.

Sleepwalker. Noun. Nomadic, shape-shifting creatures with human and feline origins. Vulnerable to the deadly scratch of the cat, the sleepwalker feeds upon the life force of virginal human females, probable source of the vampire legend. So this would have me believe that they are born of cat and also— Vulnerable to cat. To cat. Yes. So it's kind of—

Like Superman-esque, like I'm from Krypton and Krypton also destroyed me. I think that is correct. But that, by the way, and this is a problem with all these movies, this needs to come up in the middle of the movie because I'm not reading it. This needs to come up throughout. Oh, yeah. I read it and I was like, what? Every couple of scenes. I literally was like, cats are important, and then it kept going. I rewound to go back to this at one point because I— Did you get anything?

Yes, the sentence that is vulnerable to cat scratches. I was like, that's why these cats want to scratch the incest mommy, daddy, mommy, sexy baby. Guys, guys, guys.

Guys, can you just admit, fine, if you think, can you just admit that as creatures, they don't even really have a sex? They do. No, they don't. They're just like crazy, you know, things that aren't real. No, but they were fucking in the first scene. They were fucking. He took her upstairs carrying her and kissing her. Do you remember when they, okay, here then, let me ask you this. Well, they made that, then how do they, when you see in the mirror them having sex as the creatures, are they genderless? Maybe. Maybe.

They don't look like they have a gender as creatures. But they're having sex. I understand, but I don't know. He could be a man. I mean, he could be a woman. She could be a man. Like they're taking human form as whatever they please. And in this world, that's mother-son. But I do not think we would be so dumb to assume that in their creature world...

They are mother-son. Why? The idea that you think there are layers to it. So you think in their world they are just lovers? Yes, absolutely. But why is that any less? Why will you allow for them to have a gendered lover's relationship and not a gendered mother-son relationship? It's the same. Mother-son as what? As creatures or as humans? Yeah, as creatures.

It's what you're saying as creatures. It's fucking disgusting and it's wrong. Well, yeah, I think that's the point that it's wrong. I thought it was a great relationship. It is one of the healthier relationships we've seen in a movie. But I will talk about this. I still even want to tackle the opening scene, which really doesn't tie into much. So the opening scene, the first scene, the hero or the lead young boy cat, he is looking through a yearbook. He.

He says, Tanya. Then he takes a knife and slowly carves a T into his ear. I totally forgot that. He's sitting shirtless in that room for a very long time. And we watch him slice his arm forever. And I just start to wonder, how are they making that?

But that's not the first. The first scene is much, the cold open of this movie. The corpse. Yeah, the corpse and the cats hanging from the trees. Somebody fucking hates cats. It's like a bad version of the hang in there poster because all the cats are literally hung. By the way, make that poster, everybody. How did this get made? Hang in there. And it's just a still from this movie with cats hanging from trees. By the way, that would be our great next piece of merch. Like a very floral hang in there.

Hang in there. Here's the thing, though, that's weird that I didn't understand. So I guess we are to assume that this... That the creatures we will come to know killed those cats and killed that little girl. They go from town to town sucking... Understood. But then if they can kill...

all of those cats and hang them, why couldn't they kill the cats later on in the town they were in? Why are they setting traps up and staying inside for weeks? I think they are... With cats on the lawn staring at them. I know. Well, this gets at one of the very strange things that occurs in this movie, which is these people, these shape-shifting monsters, who are mother and son, but also lovers, but are engaged in a very powerful sexual relationship with each other...

They are only vulnerable to the scratch of ordinary house cat type cats. And as a result, adult people act terrified of tiny cats, which is a huge problem. And the woman's reaction to, the woman acts like, ah!

Like she's in a home. She's inside the house. And she acts like cats are going to be able to kick the door down. Well, Jason, they are sitting on her lawn staring at her. I would be creeped out. No doubt. It's creepy. They have set up bear traps. Yes. Across the lawn. Lots of cat traps. Which didn't catch one. No. No one. They got one. Oh, okay. There was one moment where it was about to. And I was like, no.

Yeah, no, they're trying to kill as many cats as they can. But now what I don't understand is why can the sun creature, who's not really a sun, whatever, but how can he go outside with no problem? I couldn't figure that out. He gets in and out of his car. What I could never figure out is both of them do at certain points leave the house. He goes to high school. She drives around, blah, blah, blah. Why don't the cats ever attack them?

Well, like there's a bunch of cats. Why don't they just, all they need is one scratch. Jump scratch. What are we doing here, guys? But here's a couple of issues that I have. I guess the cats needed the leader of Clovis. Well, gosh, Clovis. They were waiting for him. I have a couple of major questions. Just so you guys know, this is the only Stephen King film

that was like written to be a film. Not based on a book in other words. Does he always do, not to skip ahead, but does he always do a cameo in his movies? I think that's kind of his thing. Oh, it was killing me. Oh, his cameo. Oh, and it's so long. You liked it? I liked it. It's so long. I didn't mind it. And I liked John Landis in there. I liked it. Did you realize, and I wrote down this, but then I realized it was true. I was like, this guy looks like Mark Hamill in the opening scene. The cop is Mark Hamill. Yeah, with a mustache. Yeah, with a fake mustache. Yeah.

And then, so it's also John Landis, Joe Dante, Clive Barker, and Tobe Hooper, who directed Life Force, all are in this movie. But Stephen King... And Leatherface, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Tobe Hooper. Oh, Tobe Hooper, yeah. So there's something weird, because the movie does... I have so many things to bring up. Like, the movie does alternate between, like, comedic scenes. Like, even when... Well, that's jumping to them, but Stephen King has a comedic performance, which I have. Well, it has... I thought he did...

Quite well. And it has all those Stephen King-y hallmarks, which I don't mind. Like the small town characters. I loved the teacher, the vindictive teacher. Oh, he was insane. I like that stuff. There's stuff in here that I didn't mind in that respect. All this stuff felt fast-forwarded because it seemed like they just moved to the town. He looked through a yearbook. He's like, she's a virgin.

He didn't seem to ever meet. That's what I'm saying. He didn't even know her to know that she was a virgin. He's met her before. He does know that because remember, he already knows that they're in class together. I think he has been, because they are, they killed the girl with the rose in her hair at the beginning. Which by the way, the way that corpse looked to me did not say little girl at all. It was like the most insane. Oh,

Okay. I didn't see that. It was the braces that were meant to kill. And that's why Mark Hamill goes. She looks so old to me, too. I know. It was a shrunken head. It was a strange choice, though, because even to put braces and then say little girl. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was odd. I mean, she's not a little girl if she has braces. I think the reason that it happened was because they were trying to create a special effect that looked like the life force had been sucked out of the youth. Yeah.

And life force had been sucked out of her. So that's why she looked like desiccated and like hollowed out. But then they were like, oh, but now she looks like an old woman. So they put braces on her and gave him a line that said, it's a little girl. Which was so crazy. Nothing to show that. And then...

Because I think otherwise people wouldn't have understood that it was a virgin. No. That's the deal. They have to find a virgin and do that. Like, it's almost like the Dementor's kiss. And again, this is too much information at the top of the movie where you're not like, no one's going, hey, this is the third time we've found this. You're not piecing it all together right away. And I will say that...

This movie is full of like, fuck you scares because it's like, they're not real scares. Like one scare is that girl popping out of the closet. They open a closet door. Oh yeah. A cat jumps out. I buy that scare. That's a fine, like, horror movie scare. But then like, beat, beat, beat, body flies out. Like where is the body? Why did it catapult out? Like after a few seconds. There's an audible female scream.

Yeah. There's an audible female scream that comes when a woman's- And there are no women? There's nobody there. There's just two cops. I was like, oh, she's still alive because she makes an audible- There's a- It's meant to- It's like a creak scream. And why is no one going to this house? They have over a dozen cats hanging on their front lawn. Wouldn't anyone go-

How long have those cats been there? Should we maybe go check out this house? I mean, I watched it with you. And to me, I think a scare is a scare is a scare. Okay. And you were, you had a couple of really big jumps. So I don't think. Really big. Wow. Wow.

Oh, man. I don't think I had scared, but all right. Oh, wow. Guys, don't fight. No, it's whatever. You know, whatever. Fight, fight, fight. But so I guess when they do, like, so yes, the house is a massive target. When you hang over a dozen cats in your front lawn,

somebody should have come to check something out. Yes. A neighbor should have reported. It wasn't like that just happened the night of. Do you think that was the home of the teenage girl or do you think that was the home of the sleepwalkers? Sleepwalkers. Oh, interesting. Okay. Yeah. Cause I think that that was, that makes sense. That makes sense. Why the cats were there. Oh, oh,

And then why, when they fuck in the first scene... The mother and son. Mother and son. You see the outside window and it's glowing, like... Purple glowing. But then when they're inside... Because I think it... So...

I think there's a world in which that scene, that opening scene had just happened. So he's still filled with her virginal power. And so he's transferring it over. And now they're on. That is so much. Yeah. And shouldn't she have been older than the first time we saw her? And then he can shoot that in her mouth and then the mother could be younger. I think that is what's going on in the opening credits. There is a drawing from like a

fake textbook that is like a girl whose mouth is open screaming and like the energy is like coming out of her mouth. Like, you know, again, it's too tough to put all this stuff with like draw your own conclusions. But basically they're what they need is they need a virgin to suck the life force out of to keep them young. Is it them or is it just the mother? I believe it to be both of them. Isn't that what Hocus Pocus was?

I don't – they had – This is – I mean, yeah. I think it's all like – It's all things. It's vampires. It's all those kind of things that feed off of youth or virginal purity or any of those kind of things. But also, what I didn't understand is – so is the sun cat – does he have a history of actually falling in love with these virgins? By the way, just I want to point out something because I knew that this was right. The director –

Mick Garris wrote Hocus Pocus. Whoa! That's interesting. Interesting. He's like, I want to do a better job with this sort of idea. And Bette Midler was like, I'm in. And Sarah Jessica Parker's like, me too. By the way, that's a really good SJP. Thank you. I was like, suddenly, for a second, I was like, uh-oh, Carrie's here. I'm Carrie Ella Big. Oh, Mr. Big.

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I love Hocus Pocus. The only... Oh, sorry, but I interrupted what you guys were saying about we were going on from Hocus Pocus. Did I fuck up everything? No, what I was going to say was... Run the credits. So, does he have a history of falling in love with these virgins?

and actually caring about them. Well, there is... Okay, well, June, this is going to really get us into a much deeper conversation about the nature of the love between the mother and the son, because he appears to be... Well, no, let me stop there for a second, though, Jason, because my issue... No, my issue with this is, like, we wouldn't... You'd never see the reverse of this, right? It just wouldn't fucking fly to have a father and a daughter. Oh, yes. And to play that out in a major motion picture. Of course not. And the reason why is because that's a real...

Can I tell you something? That's a real thing that happens, which is dads molest their daughters. The chapter? Moms can molest sons too. They absolutely can molest their sons. You're 100% right. Psycho is a prime example of that. But the reason why we're not seeing the reverse is because there's a reality to it. Well, I also think there is something going on here that is trading on...

archetypes that go back hundreds and hundreds of years as evidenced by the fact that the chapter title of the incest reveal is called Oedipal Slow Dance. Should I play that scene of them talking and dancing? No. Yes.

Ew, I hated it. I hated it, Paul. It is. Roast chicken and cranberry dressing. Pumpkin pie for dessert. Cranberry dressing. Going anywhere tonight? Where? To the movies, maybe. With a friend? With a special friend? I'll buy my lonesome. Oh. Don't ask your mother.

So creepy. It's revolting. And it only gets creepier from there because what she... It's interesting. The dynamic that plays out is she needs him to go out in the world and find virgin girls to seduce and bring back so that they can suck the life force out of her. Got it. Okay, we get that. But...

She also gets insanely jealous of him having relationships with the young girls because she's his lover. And he's like – they are in like a dynamic where he's like, what are you, jealous? And like he's like stoking her jealousy and then that gets them all horny. And then you're like, wait, what's going to happen here? Because their mother and son – oh, oh, oh. Yeah. And then straight up bone zone. Well, and it's – and –

And then I also feel like the young virginal woman that he's supposed to fall in love with, Tanya, who when you see her in certain shots, she seems like, I don't know,

I don't know, someone who would like seduce their therapist. She looks like she's like maybe like 37. Like she doesn't look like a high school student. Oh no, really? This is during the time. I thought Machen Amick is playing the girl from Twin Peaks and also Gilmore Girls. And Riverdale. This is during a time in movies where like every teenager looks like they're 35. I was thinking about the 90s, like maybe the high-waisted pants or something. They all look older. They all look like they are trying to be in Working Girl. Yeah.

You know, they're all wearing like shoulder padded blazers and dressed like working women. By the way, I liked Tanya. I liked Tanya in this. Yeah, I loved it. And she like sold some crazy stuff because there's a point in the movie when she's dancing to like, do you love me? I love that part. Why?

Why is she listening to oldies? I loved the scene. Why is she listening to oldies in the 90s? Because I thought in a way. Think about that. I'm curious. I knew that song in the 90s. The soundtrack for this movie is all song. This movie is contemporary for the time. 92? Yeah. The soundtrack is all songs from the 50s. Yeah.

But that's why when you first start watching it, I was like, oh, am I wrong? Because the movie theater is a little bit old. This is Stephen King. Okay. This is all Stephen King. It's all Stephen King soundtrack, basically. I love that moment when she put on the headphones to start doing the rolly vacuum and you just knew something bad was going to happen because it's like that horror movie thing of like, she's so oblivious, something bad. And then it wasn't that big of a deal. He just scared her and the popcorn fell on her head from the top of the pop

Which was also a weird way. They seemed to have the display popcorn. It was like they glued popcorn to the front of it. There was no way that that should have fallen. There wouldn't be popcorn there. Yeah, you would never attach. On the hot machine. Yeah, because also it would be incredibly stealable. You could steal all that popcorn very easily. Well, look, she's giving it away.

I would also argue that if your plan is to come to town and suck a virgin's life force, you wouldn't maybe make a school report about it. The only person that reveals anything about these characters and where they're from is the main character in a... Do you think he goes from town to town enrolling in school to school just honing this short story about him and his mom?

I wanted to play that as well because this is by far the only information that we get. There's no cop that has any information. No one explains a goddamn thing except for him. And here we go. They were sleepwalkers, hiding in human robes, feeding on virtue, loving to feed, feeding to breed. Feeding to breed. So in the end, they ran. In the end, Robbie and his mother always had to run.

For one night, the men would come in their old cars, men with lights and guns. Those guys never come. To the boy and his mother. Right. A boy and his mother. Jason. Like the laughter of cruel gods. You suck. A time of happiness too brief to be anything but golden had run out.

Okay, by the way, that is an interesting story. If they are demons who are being chased by demon hunters or whatever, like where are the men in the old cars with the guns? I want to see that. I want to see that there are people who are after them. Well, your big problem is you have a movie where your main like –

Villains villain are silent cats. Yes. Like the only people that are after these people. The antagonist for the anti-heroes are just cats. Cats with seemingly are just kind of

By virtue of being a cat, they're like, we don't like you. We see your sleepwalker ways. And so are cats protecting humans always? I think so. From sleepwalkers? I think that's part... I think when cats sense a sleepwalker is nearby, they're like, we got to take care of this shit, guys. But like... Let me say one thing about the mother-son of it all. Oh, please do. Because it...

Well, and I heard it a little bit more like listening to this story. So I think that what he's saying is true. They are demons. They are not man. They are not woman. They do not subscribe to the rules of society as we know them. Their relationships to each other, they're feral fucking pieces of energy. So they think it's funny. They think it's fucking funny that we're eating.

You're talking about them. Wait, wait, what? His mother's son. Wait, they think it's funny that we are. The real demons? This is like their big elaborate plank. Like, ah, we're. It's a joke, you guys. And you all bought into it. What?

Like, this is their game to bring down the humans? Like, they're kind of saying, like, we're going to show up. No, it's not about bringing them down. But nobody knows. It's funny, right? But June, nobody knows. You have your mother's son. Ha ha. Like, you fucking idiots. No, but, like, wouldn't two demons who were mother and son

think it was fine to fuck each other? Well, yes, but they're not mother-son. Why not? Why can't they be? We are subscribing meaning to those words that they don't have that meaning. They are using the words. They are using the words only with each other. Because it's

Only with each other. June, you need to wrap your head around this. You need to wrap your head around this. Yes, they are using the words to each other. Only to each other. Because it's funny. You killed my son is a joke. You killed my son. Because you're thinking they couldn't say you killed my lover because they wouldn't understand the importance of it because...

But then why not make them. But to use the same language that we have and to like put all of our, you know, norms and stuff onto them. But wouldn't that. We're stupid to do that. June, wait a minute. Wouldn't that. If they are trying to fit. We're just so limited in the way we're looking at them. If they're trying to fit into society, why would they choose to be an incestuous couple as a joke on humanity? Why wouldn't they just choose to be peers? Because it's funny, Jason. Because they need to go school. They are not funny at all.

They're not funny people even remotely. Well, no, no. He's very funny in the cemetery scene when his face is being ripped off. He's doing a lot of jokes. I mean funny in a private joke way between the two of them. Oh, wow. This is fascinating. I mean evil funny. June, you need to wrap your head around the fact that this is an incestuous mother and son couple. I did say to June, though, I did say...

Maybe, because we were talking about this last night. I said maybe it's like Interview with a Vampire where what's her face from Bring It On and I'm forgetting. Kirsten Dunst. Kirsten Dunst is like she was made. Because she was turned. She was turned as a child. Right, but these are not that. She's always traveling around as a child. These are just that.

- Beasts, these are sleepwalkers. - Who, but they can pick any form they want. - And they must have genders. - But they're not mother-son. - They must have genders in order to have sex. They have sex repeatedly in their beast form that we see in the mirror. So they have sex-- - All right, I will allow that they may have some sexual, they may have some like defining sexual characteristics.

Like genitals. Like genitals. Okay. But I do not think that they were mother-son. I don't think they even have family relationships. Why? Because they're beasts. They're demons. Because maybe what June is saying is that they couldn't pick husband-wife because then he couldn't flirt with the young girls. And they couldn't pick brother-sister because where's the mom and why are they in these towns? They had to choose mother-son. What?

And it's a funny joke. Oh, my God. I would go along with that if in private they spoke to that at all. But I feel like only in private I feel like they only double down on the fact that they are mother and son. Jason, they're so committed to this bit. This is amazing. But June, can I ask you this? And sexy, too. June, don't you think that this is Stephen King purposefully trying to make us uncomfortable by this relationship? Of course.

Absolutely. But then why give us an out for it? If it's meant to be like they are the... You're meant to kind of be made...

incredibly ill at ease. I still am. I still am. If they're not. Yes. If they're just play acting. Even if they're play acting, it's still uncomfortable, but I just don't believe that the creature is our mother's son. But only for the film audience. The people in the town. It's really only for June. It really is. Just a way for her to wrap her head around it. Stephen King was like, I am going to serve this up in the longest payoff from 91 to 2017.

I just feel like the whole movie is so dumb and bad that the idea that there are layers to any of the characters is like impossible. They barely give you a layer to what we're in. Like the main story is not even like... This movie is all text. By the way, I was like, the last half hour of this movie is kind of what would have happened after the credits roll. Like it feels like, I'm like, oh, this movie is almost over. Oh no, 20 minutes left. Yeah, it's like, oh, we're going to watch it. Yeah, I checked it right then too. I was like...

I'm like, oh, that was a quick one. And I was like, oh, but now we're going to go back and see the police investigate, take pictures. And she's going to take a bath. That's like when the camera pans up into the sky like, and then the town was never the same. No, no, no. We'll see the bath. We'll see the parents. By the way, love that it was the parents from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I know. That was so cool. They were married in real life, as a matter of fact. Wait, was it the same mom?

The same mom. I was like, I recognize her, but I can't figure out why. And she has short blonde hair. Yes. Oh, I didn't know that. Yes, same. I love that they were married in real life. Married in the same life and then divorced in 1992. Oh, no. Oh, damn. Guys, make it work. The movie broke them. What happened, you know?

I don't know what happened. Wait, 1992? 92, yes. Okay, so the year of this movie. Well, 91 is I think when it came out. So yeah, maybe the bad reviews. Wait, did they get married before Ferris Bueller? They were married for a long time. That's all I know. There was a review that was like, I don't see these two people as married parents. And they were like, you know what? We don't either. Let's call it quits.

Wait, now, there is something also I wanted to talk about. There's so much. The teacher who is the interior designer from Beetlejuice. Thank you. God, I should have IMDb'd. I was just trying to figure it out, going like, why do I know him? I love this teacher. He was so kind of great, but...

Again, in this weird world where we're not explaining anything, this kid gets up, tells his whole story, kind of like Shaq when he did the rap in Kazam. Just reveals himself, outs himself in front of everybody for no reason. And it's a good story. And you would imagine, like, for a high schooler, you must be like, not bad. He's on his side.

And then, like, he's, like, yelling at other kids in the class and then makes some sort of reference about a box having four sides. Our sleepwalker goes, actually, it has six. Zing. And then from that moment on, he's like, I'm going to find out what you are. And then I'm going to try to fuck you. Yeah. Like, those are the two things. Like, yeah.

I'm gonna hate fuck you. I mean, that's really like, his motivation is. It's as if he has been completely humiliated by the kids. Actually, a box has six sides. Yeah. And it's like, he then chases him down in his Volkswagen bug. Which can you pull over? I mean, that kid pulls over as if he was a cop. And then the kid just murders him.

Straight up rips his hand off. He just murders him. The hand was crazy. If you're trying to fit in, you've only been here a couple of weeks. Like, don't straight up start murdering people. And if he can disappear and become invisible, like, why not do that then? Yes. Great. He wanted to, like, just have a chase. Like, I mean, first of all, I also want to give it up to Otto, the interior designer for Beetlejuice, for... That's all I'm going to refer to him as. Full title. For being kind of collected for... He goes down to kind of grab a handful of penis and...

And then the boy grabs it, rips off his hand, hands it back to him in his other hand. He does not scream. There's no like, ah! He's like, hmm. And then runs perfectly normal without a hand. Yeah, and he's crawling and stuff. It's like he doesn't even notice. Yeah, the hand is ripped off so kind of cleanly to him. Everyone here who gets brutally hurt

does not have any real reaction to it. But I thought that one was an odd one because he goes for a long distance. And this is where the kid with Charlie, is this that same? Charlie turns from the kind of...

well-meaning, smile on his face, kind of bland kid, teenage kid, to like a really weird, creepy, like clown type character. So I felt that they put in someone else's voice. Almost, yeah. When he like, when that happened with the teacher and when he pretty much rapes

Tanya, he goes into this like horrible. Yeah. Yeah. It's so weird. It's like, it's terrible. It's kind of like, like Jim Carrey in the mask. Right. It's like this performative, big, broad,

Suddenly he's got this big personality. And I was like, why would this be the case? I don't know. Especially since when the mom becomes her cat self, she doesn't have a voice that's different. No, it's sort of like, I think he's like a real mischievous guy. Oh, a mischievous cat. Yeah. But you know, it's probably all just because of ADR. Like, he probably could not get a word out in that stupid mask. And like with all that blood and it's like, all right, just do it all in the ADR. And he's like, maybe I'll just dress it up a little bit.

hey what's up buddy like cause he really takes on there are some jokey scenes like there's a scene when he goes to visit the girl in her bedroom and she's got all this underwear like hanging from every way and it's like

I get like your room is messy, but I also don't get why there's like eight pair of different underwear. That would posit a world in which she just takes either a bra or underwear off and just throws it. Yes. And it lands where it lands. On the floor, on the dresser. When it's on the dresser, there's like a hero pair underwear that's on the dresser. And it's...

It is really hard to understand why it's there. How would it get there? Because it's up high, and it's like, well, it's in the drawer. Or to me, it's on the floor. It's not like it's... Or the bed. It's not like it's on the floor near the hamper. It's not... I get... No, it's like strewn amongst like...

Precious moment figurine. And it's like one of four or five pairs. Which she's already gotten rid of. Of underwear. And if they're clean, why are they just about? Why? And if they're dirty, why are they about? It's all gross. I can't make any sense of it. Well, and also, I felt like I wrote down that this, that scene felt like, to me, like a Mentos commercial that never got going. Like, it was like, ooh,

My boy, like, you know, like, we're like, we're like, all look a little far in the light is a little bit more blown out. And they're just like running around. You're like, he fresh. This movie would make a lot more sense if it was all a Mentos. I would like someone to edit that commercial. If she like gave him on when he was being the cat attacking her and he was like, I'm better now. The movie I genuinely wanted so much more than this was a buddy cop movie between the police officer and Clovis, the police cat, the attack cat.

Obsessed with those two. Obsessed. That guy was amazing. So delightful. I was heartbroken when he died. That was a crazy death. Cop kebab, which I... Also, it was emotional when Clovis went over and sat on his chest. Yes, that was the... I really... I wrote that like... I felt nothing. I felt really sad. I really felt like I was like...

Oh, that guy died. Like, I watch action movies where people get fucking shot in the head. John Wick, like, no problem. And this is like, oh, wow, the cat's going to be really lonely. Can I play a best of Andy and Clovis? By the way, he says Clovis so many times. This is Deputy Andy and Clovis. Here we go. Come on, boy. Get the bad guy. Get the bad guy. Get the bad guy.

the bad guy. Come on, Clovis. What? Get that motherfucker! All right. Good boy, Clovis. Hey, there comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand. He's a one-ball man and he's off to the rodeo. While a man live, now a man ride. Come on, you fucking turkey, get your right foot right. Get off the stage, you fucking jerk, you know. What? Why was he singing that? He is singing these songs. Those songs were so weird. And they're so oddly vulgar and he has this cat and the cat...

Luckily, luckily, by the way, what a fucking partner is a cat and what a conceit that the like the only like the conceit is like this whole operation gets blown essentially because the cop who carries a cat with him like catches on to the plant. Like it's so comes into contact with sleepwalkers. Yeah. He's like the only natural enemy of cats.

Oh, wait, the cat was always his friend? Yeah. Yeah. I must have looked it up. In the very beginning, he has the cat and the cop car. It almost suggests that there's a world in which, just like police dogs, there are police cats. Which is crazy. I mean, I've never seen anyone, even the most rabid animal lover, take around a cat.

No, a cat free in the car. Loose in the car. Cat is not going to be psyched about this. Horrible idea. Terrible. And that cat, but again, I just want to, do you have this actor's name? This detective, Detective Andy. This actor, Dan Martin, is doing amazing work. Because he is alone in a car with a cat that is giving him nothing and he is the most charming character in this movie. I mean, by the way, he has a death scene that,

The only person I care about. That girl could have been... The only person I cared about more was the person that got killed by a corncob. The corncob was insane. They stabbed in the back. It went through the spine. They basically just started saying anything that's an object is a full-on sharp as shit knife. Because Detective Andy, first he gets a pencil in his ear. That's his first injury before he's shot.

Yeah, he's fine after that. Like, he's still kind of communicating. His brain has a pencil in it. Guys, I was in an episode of Fresh Off the Boat with...

Dan Martin, and I didn't realize it. Oh my God, that's cool. Yeah, I should have, oh man, I wish I would have known. Yeah, that would have been a great person to talk to. He's still working very... Not surprised. Yeah, because he's great. Oh, I'm happy about that. Yeah, he has been on, he was a series regular on Malcolm in the Middle. He also has been on Numbers for many episodes and was on Bold and the Beautiful and is in a new place, a new show called Wanda's Place. By the way, why make Tanya's mom...

Gravestone Etcher I didn't get that That was bizarre Just to put them In a cemetery Where she wouldn't be Easy enough to go To get there Yeah exactly And also gravestones Meant nothing To the mythology Too Like they could have Gone to like Make out point And had the same Scene But yet the drawing That that jock draws In class I blew it up Is a picture of two people Fucking in a graveyard Well that's cause That's Homeland

Homeland is where kids go to fuck. Oh, okay. I didn't realize that. Okay. So that's why the, I didn't even need the excuse of the edge. Yeah. Yeah. No, Homeland is make out point. Oh, so Stephen King is kind of lying when he's like, Hey man, I don't need this stuff. Cause he basically created a fuck zone. Yes. So he is guilty. Stephen King. I'm not really keeping the upkeep. I,

Oh, yes. Of not being able to keep teenagers out. They need more security. Yeah, is what it is. Because that's the thing is the kid's drawing is kids fucking at the graveyard, which is homeland. And that was like a really good drawing. Really well done. It was a really good drawing. If somebody wants to recreate that drawing for us here at How Did This Get Made, please do. We're just giving you four assignments. But that conversation Tanya's mom has with Charlie is...

I mean, it just seems so insane. Like, how would two people know? What are the chances that two people would be interested in this niche craft? I feel like. It's so bizarre. I feel like, did you guys, how old do you think Charlie and his mom are?

Like, the actors? No. Oh, like a million? Yeah, no, I feel like they're old. They're supposed to be like vampires. They're supposed to be like hundreds of years old or something. So I was like, maybe this is like because they're so old. They know things? Yeah, or this used to be more of a common thing that people would make a rubbing of a gravestone because they couldn't get back there or something. I genuinely don't know. I also was like, this is nonsense. It also just seemed like...

It didn't seem in line with the rest of the home that Tanya's mom was trying to create to have giant prints of, well, like, yeah, gravestones in the hallway. I agree.

Yeah. They had like a beautiful suburban home. And they get into a conversation about doing gravestone rubbings that is so specific that they're talking about different numbers of graphite to use when you're making your rubbing. It was crazy. But maybe he did it so that he could have his rubbing joke later when they're in the graveyard. Right.

And he's like, we better get started rubbing or whatever. And she goes, we better. She's like by herself like, yes, we should, Charlie. I was nervous that that lip was going to be bit off because she bit her lip almost. She was just biting that lip the entire time. I feel like someone told her that that's like a sexy look and she did it then for the rest of it. The entire time. Every line was bite and then bite that lip. But then they also like, well, also it goes back to my first point, which is like,

Like, why carve that T in your arm? Does he remind himself? Here's the thing. Is he falling for Tanya? It seems like he is. I think so, too. But then when he actually seems to get Tanya, he turns into such a maniac. I mean, I guess that's the whole thing. Maybe that's maybe that he can't control that. I don't know. But here's my issue. There have to be other virgins in this school.

100%. And why would he assume that she is a virgin? There's nothing like... I guess my choice would be just like...

There's nothing like... You wouldn't look at her and be like, virgin. Definitely virgin. No, I'm like, she's the hottest girl in school. If anything, she's very... She's a very sexy girl. Right, like put a pair of glasses on her and make her be like, I'm a nerd. Her friends are like... Yeah. Her friends are like girls who have sex. They talk about it, blah, blah, blah. So why would you think, oh, she's the one amongst those girls who must be the virgin? I don't know. Unless there's something about him, you know, his cat-like senses. Hmm.

But also, what do you think? You can tell from a photo. You can just, you can know Hyman. I don't know. Or had he already met her by the time he was looking at her in the yearbook? Well, and the mother keeps saying, does she seem pure? The mother keeps saying like the grossest thing. The mother was so gross. The mother was so gross. Her hair was so long. Too long. I get really creeped out by women who have really, really long hair. How do you feel about Crystal Gale?

I don't like it. Who's that? She's a country singer that has like hair to the floor. It's so creepy to me. Yeah, I agree. There's something very strange about it. It means something. You know what I mean? Like they have something going on they're not dealing with. Yeah, 100%. This back to school season, spend less on your kids with Amazon. Now, here's the thing. I love back to school season, but I'm going to be honest. It's expensive.

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Oh, here's one thing that I love. When Charles is driving in his Trans Am and he's driving really fast and Officer Andy and Clovis pull up alongside and he's like, pull over, pull over. And then Clovis peeks his head up and

And the cat looks at the kid and the kid freaks out and his face goes through like multiple transformations. Yes. Just because a cat is looking at him. Yeah. It's so silly. Like in the, in the face transformations, it looks like a little bit like, um, like sloth from chunk. Then it looks like a cat. Like, it's like, it's like, well, what do you like?

There should only be one other thing. Sloth from Goonies, not Sloth from Chunk. Only because the boards are going to go crazy. Oh, Paul! Yeah, it's not Sloth from Chunk! But wouldn't you just think there's one version? Oh, there's multiples. You're either that or you're not. Yes, you're not like five other things. It's like a Rubik's Cube. Well, because there's like a cat face they both have. Then there's like an even more cat face. Yeah, there's...

And then there's a thing that just looks like a hairless mole. Yeah. You know what I mean? Or something that looks like a hairless, like, beast thing that is still a mother and a son. But that is so gross that I'm like, I don't... Why have four, at least, four...

Four distinct looks if they're never explained. Can you pull up the picture of the creatures fucking so we can look and see if they have any defining like sexuality? They're fucking. I just wrote in, are cats incestuous? Just see what the answer is.

And they say, yes, this woman on Yahoo, not that this is the definitive. Okay, so obviously it's right. They said, yes, once had a kitten from a litter born of a mother and a son cat. The rest of the litter was born deformed to the point that some are missing cranial caps. Oh, God. Yeah, okay. A few people are saying with cats, brother, mother, sister, cousin, it makes no difference.

And kittens often have problems with mating with their own. Well, sure. But like animals, if they're not around any other cats and they are horny. They're going to go, yeah. Yeah, well, that's true. That's what's happening there, mother-son. No, it's not. I think, though, that they are. They're not cats, they're demons. What?

Well, they're born of the heart. They are some, yeah, no, I agree. They are some sort of ancient, that's why they've got like the Egyptian statues in the beginning that are humanoid feline hybrids or whatever. Wait, the best picture, the best thing in the beginning is there is a picture that is a triptych, right? In one, in the first oval is an old timey old lady. Yeah.

In the second is just a house cat. And in the third is a picture that is half the old lady, half the cat, but split down the middle. So it's on either side is half of an old lady and half of just a house cat. I was like, this is fucking crazy. Well, you know what the tagline for this movie was? Who cares? It was, they feast on your fear.

And it's dinner time. Ooh. I still need more information. That's not true. Yeah, yeah. And that's not true. They feast on your youth. Yeah. And they're hungry. Yeah, and one needs it in this moment. Like, it's like... The mother kept... The mother's saying, like, I'm so hungry. I need to feed...

To feed. All this stuff was so gross. But you were not talking about the best line ever when that cat does look at our lead, Charlie. This is what he says. And I mean, we have to play because I feel like it's the best line ever. Stop looking at me. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Stop looking at me, you fucking cat. And why didn't why weren't we told earlier on that the cat people can turn themselves invisible? Cats can't do that.

Well, why can they turn themselves dim? What is that? Well, that's the sleepwalkers. I guess so. They're mixing in. That's the sleepwalker in them. I couldn't... That bothered me. I was like, that should have been... That seemed really convenient. Yeah. No, you're so right. There needs to be a kid at school who knew all about this and was like... Someone. Something. And then he's trying to tell people or something. And no one believes him or something. The goth kid at school is like, I know what this is. By the way, like I said, it was the first Stephen King book, first Stephen King original screenplay ever.

but it was based on an unpublished short story. And maybe he should have like, I feel like at this point in Stephen King, he's like, uh, here's something I had. Like it was like, like it wasn't published for a reason. I feel like it's possible. Stephen King like woke up after a night of drinking and these pages were on his desk and he was like, let's fucking do this. Because this does feel like elements of like pet cemetery are in here. Everything was Stephen King.

there were better versions of this at one point, or like you said, like he rewrites the same story until he kind of gets it right. So like, this is like, yeah, this is,

Something I'm going to play with later, but you can enjoy this half. Oh, it's half-baked at best. There's no villain. There's no anything. Well, no, they are the villains. That's the thing is what's weird about it is they are the villains, but they keep- We're taking their point of view, and we don't care about anyone. Yeah, except for Tanya, I guess, but she- And Clovis. Oh, of course, Clovis. Clovis is the hero of this. God, that's why I say I wish this movie was about Clovis and Lieutenant Andy.

Oh, I mean, I would watch that as a TV show. Netflix, let's do that. Let's bring back Clovis and Andy. There is, I will say, there is a great comic book series that is called...

God damn it. Dark Horse puts it out. It's something beast. It's about all these animals in like a demonic town that fight like the supernatural threats. It's like not. Not Ranger. It's not Red Rose. It's not. Hold on. Just keep talking. And then I just want to talk about the end before we get into these second opinions here, where the end of the movie, they just I feel like everyone just kind of gives up.

Because the mom goes to the house. She kills someone with a corncob. Then someone else gets impaled on a white picket fence. And then she takes a gun. Beasts of Burden. Oh, Beasts of Burden. She takes a gun, shoots a car. It blows up as if she shot dynamite at it. Yes. One shot. One shot. The other one, one shot. She blows up two giant cars and...

All the while, our lead actress, Tanya, can't get a key. She has the keys in her hand. You're making me crazy. She has the keys in the car, even. Can't get the thing to start. And that's like, it's sort of like, yeah, yeah, yeah. She'll just stay there. She should have left.

Ages ago. Oh, yeah. It could have. Well, how about when she and Charlie are in the graveyard, she clobbers Charlie with her camera and then goes over to see if he's okay. Yeah. That made me angry. He's attacking her. His face turns into like a demon face. He is mocking and attacking her. And then he says, you better start thinking of yourself as lunch.

She hits him with her camera. She's like, but are you okay? Yeah, and then she's like, Charlie, Charlie. I was like, come on, Tanya. Wait, did we ever see the pictures on her camera? Yes. Oh, okay, I don't remember this. Why do I remember anything? I watched it yesterday. No, it's completely forgettable. But by the way, that's another scene that should have been cut out. I was like,

I did take pictures of them. Why don't you go develop them? Okay, I will. And it's like, you're going to just cut that whole sequence out. Like, she has these pictures. Here's what the guy looks like. And this police force in the course of 24 hours has like six dead townspeople and are still moving so slowly. Oh, yeah. Oh, well, they don't. They outright go...

Like someone was murdered. The cop was murdered. And they're like, we don't know. The teacher was murdered even before that. Yeah, we're not positive. We're not positive that these stories, that girl's got an active imagination. Oh, the girl who saw the cop get murdered? Yes. Like, who cares? Why would she ever make that up? Why? Why would she ever? And she's also covered in blood. Like, something happened. Yeah.

It really made me crazy when the cop was killed in her home and the phone was hanging and you could hear the police department on the other line, like asking where he was and telling him to pick up the phone for a long time. I'm like, you should know. Here's the other thing. In a car and drive over. Lieutenant Andy is like, tells the sheriff. It's almost like the guy didn't have a face at all. It's almost like he was like, whatever, a shapeshifter. And the sheriff's like, don't tell the judge that, you idiot. And then Tanya's like, he's not human. His face was different. And he's like, you know, basically like,

Don't tell the judge that. He's like really stupid. And then, oh, but thank God Ron Perlman comes in. State police. Ron Perlman. State police. And I thought that Ron Perlman, you're going to edge out that he also was a cat. I thought so too. And he's like a cat undercover. That would have been more exciting. I wanted that. Because the mother and son even say at one point, there are no more of us or we don't even know if there are more of us.

And I was like, that's a clue. Somebody's going to be a cat person. And I was like, and he's going to clean up the whole mess and be like, it was nothing, you know? And I was, but he was not, he was just a normal cop.

Who gets killed. Yeah. Young Ron Perlman, though. God, I love it. I loved it. I loved it. That was great. We haven't talked about, I think, the defining scene of the movie. The mother bringing Tanya back to the house. The son is clearly dead on the couch. Oh, my God. And she says, dance with him. I mean, I laughed so hard. That was so disgusting. Can I ask you a question?

Is she manipulating his body via telekinesis? Yeah, what was it? Okay. I didn't understand that. He's not in some sort of like... But by the way, two seconds later, he wakes up. He does. And he goes totally back to normal. So...

I don't know. No, he was dead. He was a dead dancer. But then how did he come back? How did he come back from, because he's in the middle of that dance. He's like, hey, I'm back. Yeah. And then he's alive until he catches on fire, which I didn't even understand how that. Wait, did he catch on fire or she did? The mom did. The mom catches on fire. Why does the cat scratching eventually lead to flames? Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like, it seemed like she's getting scratched. Okay, cool. This is her kryptonite. But then the cats scratch enough that they are combustible.

And she goes up in flames, screaming, you killed my son. You killed my son. And which we never see. Which is the best end of a joke. We never see. The best guy. Right to the very end. Callback. Great callback. Their joke on humanity is that they've been playing at mother and son. Right to the end. Very Andy.

Kaufman-esque of that mother to never let it go. Mary Brady, you did it. Well, it was a tribute, like the greatest joke they ever had. Oh my God. The original title of this movie, The Greatest Joke We Ever Had. Ah!

Joke's on you, humans. But we never saw him burst into flames, which at the end of the movie led me to believe he was going to come out and be alive. He was never scratched, though. Yes, he was. He was scratched by Clovis. Oh, right. He was scratched by Clovis. He was the first scratch. That's why he goes, I'm dying, Mom.

It's at those times when you're on death's doorstep that you keep the joke going. I also like that when the mom brought a vase over to Ferris Bueller's parents and she hits him in the face with the vase, the mark that's left is three cat scratches. Why is everything a cat scratch?

That's a fucking face. And he was bleeding all over his shirt by the time he was on the ground. Like it was all over. That should have just been a knockout. And she and Tanya twice scratches people in the form of a cat paw scratch. Like three slash marks. Yeah, when she scratched him it was so weird. Wouldn't that rip your nails off? You wouldn't be able

I wouldn't be able to do that. If you just were like rip and it got that much. Yeah, the tension on the skin would be too much. Think about the fact that she made out with him. And he's like that gross being. She has to live with that forever. You know? Well, that's why she was taking a bath for a long time. Yeah. That long bath. And she was like, I'm okay.

He can't hear you. And then he appeared to her. I couldn't tell if that was like him projecting himself into her mind or I didn't. Again, this is where I'm like, what is the power? She just remembered it. Yeah, maybe you're right. There are so many questions. And by the way, wouldn't it have just been an easier answer if the teacher was into like mythical shit? Great. And all he would have had to have done is like, huh, sleepwalkers.

And go, I know you're a sleepwalker. Yes! It would have been a million times better. I looked up your story. It would have made sense of, like, so many things. But it's just a teacher who wants to be like, how dare you say a six-sided box? I'm going to fuck you. So that doesn't make any sense. The, like, the fact that, like...

This girl, this heart. Nothing makes sense. The easiest connections are not... Also, he's a shapeshifter. They are shapeshifters. Okay, I get that. That is like a classic storytelling archetype. Got it. Why can he change the shape of his car? I know.

I know. And the color. That's not how it works. You can't, like... I can change shapes, and I can also change other shapes? What? Yeah, like... And why does his car... Unless the car itself is a sleepwalker. And why does the car... And why don't they get rid of the cats, then? Make them disappear or something. Yes, perfect. Like, if they can get rid of their car. Perfect. Why can't they make their house and themselves dim so the cats can't see? Like, there was so much that was...

Well, at one point. Rules and regulations. Yeah, they did a terrible job of world building. At one point, they also make themselves invisible when the cops come. Yes. But then they should have just killed those cops too, right? I mean. I guess. But like, I think the idea, I think what we're supposed to understand is the mother is weak. She can't leave the house. She needs this thing. That's why the son's there. And the mother can't attack. The mother has no powers left.

But does he ever transfer some of that virginal energy to the mom? I think during sex. He tried to. I think during sex. That's the purple light. With the son and the mom. The son and the mom. That's the purple light. When they were having sex. Because the light force is purple coming out of the girls. Right. And so I think it's purple going into his mom, if you know what I mean. You know, it's like really swollen and purple. I feel like.

The sun's... They did look like latex creatures that you wet down with a water bottle. They were just wet. Or like KY. I feel like they put Vaseline all over them. Like hairless cats. When he was all cut up and on the couch, it was gross. It was disgusting. Could not look. It was real gross. It was like... When they sewed his hand...

The sewing of the hand? That was disturbing. Although, wait, I have to say, I feel like, of course, this is like the point of your whole show because it's called How Did This Get Made? It is, thank you. But I'm like literally like, how did no one ask? Like, I can't imagine the process of like people reading this and being like, I get it. That's perfect. Like, how the fuck? You did it again, Steven. Like, what? I have so many questions and I was barely even like knowing what's going on. You know what I mean? And if you're actually involved in the process, it's just crazy to think about. Now imagine a world, Lauren, in which you've been doing this forever.

for six years. Well, let me just ask you guys... Do you feel insane? To Lauren's point, let me ask you guys a question. This movie, the budget was $15 million. Wow. Big budget, right? That's significant. A lot of special effects. It's not like cat costumes. Well, yeah. By the way, there's like...

Two-thirds of the cats in this movie are fake. And fake treats the cat from Saturday Night Live fake. They are terribly fake. Someone throwing a cat off the table. And the cats that they do have, they clearly can't control at all. Because most of the time they're just sitting there. And they're not doing what they want them to do, I feel like. That one shot, sorry Paul, at the very end where there are a ton of real cats. Yes.

I think, watching the house, the very, very end of the movie, they are truly just sitting there. Yes. It looks like they're looking around like, anything else? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Are we done here? Yeah. What do we got to do? Okay, just do a quick order of business here, and then we'll see you guys back later. Well, it's also like, you want them to feel as though they're a threat to the people in the house, but they're looking in all different directions. All different directions. There's no coherence. It's how they're watching people run by.

Like they are not, there's no focus of energy. By the way, I'm like 90% confident that the lawn of Tanya's house or that area is like from Lethal Weapon. I feel like that was like a black lot. Okay. So made for 15 million opening weekend.

Anyone want to take a guess on how much it made total? I don't know if this is going to be surprising because it's so low or so high. And you were right, Jason. It is 1992. I was wrong. The top three movies in 1992, Aladdin, Home Alone, Batman Returns. What if you're like top three movies, Aladdin, Home Alone, Sleepwalkers. I'm going to say total...

I'm going to say opening weekend it made $3 million. Got it. In total it made $10 million. Got it. Anyone? I am going to say opening weekend it made $5 million. Got it. In total it made $25 million. Are we doing prices right rules? We are. Okay, I'm going to do $1. No, I'm going to say, I'm going to go the opposite. I'm going to say it made $50 million. Okay.

Well, here's the interesting thing. Opening weekend, $10 million. And that's a nine. Oh, I said five. And then domestic gross, $30 million. Wow. This movie is a success. Success. Is there a sequel? Massive success. Well, you would go see it if you didn't know anything. I guess so. At the time, you're like, Stephen King movie? It's going to be scary? Totally. Yeah. People go to horror films regardless of whether they're good or bad. They just go to be scared. Yeah. I think that's true. Yeah.

Well, obviously, we had an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there that had a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions. Let them say what phrase ain't. I don't care about that. It's all subjective, baby. Let the world around us have a first. We can serve them second.

Oh

Wow! Amazing. Wow, wow, wow. That was awesome. Hannah Willis, Hannah Willis. And the new opening theme that we played today was from Joseph Frisch. So thank you both for sending those in. Okay, here we go. Some second opinions. Let's get it started right here. All in caps. Love that. Written by Paul Jr., not me, not my son. The title is simply Fangs. This is written in 2014, just so you know. No.

Not bad for an 80s movie. Well, first strike there, not an 80s movie. The plot was good. Acting was good. Location is great.

What? The location is great. The thing that got stuck in my throat, though, was the son having sex with his mother. Oh, really? That got stuck in your throat? Maybe creatures do this. So to speak. Maybe creatures do this. This is a good DVD to have in your collection. But remember, there are strange things in this world, and nature does it her way.

Five stars. Wow. That's like, it makes me worried for that person. Yeah. And that, by the way, was all in caps. I didn't read it with the intensity that maybe it should have been read. Second review written by Bert Tram, also in 2014. I guess this movie was re-released in a big way. Okay. This one, it says, um,

Title is My Favorite Stephen King Movie. Oh, no. This is a movie not really like any other. You might not think that unusual because it's a Stephen King movie, but it really not like any other Stephen King movies either, which is part of the reason I like it so much. A story about supernatural creatures, mother and son, trying to hide and survive in modern society. Nostalgia? Love?

Apprehension, fear, all wrapped together. Excellent acting, excellent dialogue, music score, and special effects. Five stars. It's apprehension. Apprehension is like, what's apprehension? It's interesting too because he's really connecting to the idea that these two creatures are the protagonists of this film. The mother and son. Yeah. Yes, like that they are.

who we are rooting for. We're rooting for and hoping they can survive like modern society. Yeah. It's disturbing. But to me, the apprehension of getting caught, is that what that he like? He's really like in the moment, like, oh, I hope these guys get that virgin. I hope they do it. This is from Zachary Tilly.

As awesome now as when I was a kid, I do wish they had developed more of a backstory for the sleepwalkers. And it's kind of a disconnect for me how Brian Krause goes from being reluctant to hurting the Virgin to all out bloodthirsty. I mean, shoot, if this movie came out now and they developed an angle a little bit better, this could be a horror buffs twilight. LOL. Also wish SK would publish this story.

So he's really giving it five stars. Stephen King movies get better with age. He's really seeing... He's almost like an editor of a Stephen King now. He's like, Stephen, there's a lot of great stuff here. We can... I want this person in my life. Like...

five stars judging on the potential. Yeah. Oh, if you just, if you just developed and connected the dots. That thing that you already put out into the world. If we just, if we just got it like prime for, by the way, this could be a cool rebooted movie because I think

the premise is interesting well I don't know well it just needs they just need to fill in so many blanks so many blanks need to be filled in so you just want to see a movie like about cat creatures that are kind of I do like yeah I mean like the reboot idea of this movie feels like

I think there's something interesting about these guardians of Egyptian... I think that mythology could be cool, but I don't even know what they are. I don't even think they're cats. They're sleepwalkers. I'm once again going to refer everybody to Beasts of Burden by Evan Dorkin.

which is about animals that are basically badass, supernatural bad guy fighters. I'm into that as a movie. Yeah, and that other one, which is... What's the guy who writes Walking Dead? I'm forgetting his name. Kirkman, Robert Kirkman. Didn't he write Ranger... Bobby Kirk's. Bobby Kirk's book? He prefers to be called Bobby Kirk's. Bobby Kirk's. Wait, doesn't he write Ranger Red Rover or something? Or that's somebody else maybe. Well, I don't know that book. Okay, it's another good animal book. All right, so...

Anyone have any final thoughts? Anything else? Your Tommy Warren final thought? This movie is some really messed up nonsense. I want to talk about cameras. The camera angles on this movie are like the Dutch angles are like

Like there's a sequence where like the couple falls on the ground like in a little love tussle and the camera's like, boom, it also goes on the ground. There's a moment where they create one of those bullshit scares where like she's like, Brian, Brian. And the camera like whips around in 360 to reveal him. And he's not scary at that point. It's just like there's a lot like the camera is always moving in this and like coming down. It also seems, I guess my final thought is that when law enforcement sees these creatures, they're like,

A ton of these cops just throw their guns down and run away. Well, that one cop got away from the cat lady in the house. He shot at her like five times and missed so far. And then he just ran out the back door. No, he didn't run out the back door. He ran into the kitchen and called the sheriff. Oh, wait, but then he didn't go? From inside the same house. Oh, I feel like I was like, oh, he got out. And then I just... No, he didn't get out. That's the dude who was corn-coffed. I don't know if I can focus as much as is going to be required. Yeah.

Like, that's the thing is. He was killed by the corn. Wait, he was the corn corn cop? Yes. I thought one of the parents was. No. All right. No, the mom was thrown out the window and the dad was smashed in the face. Okay, okay, okay. And the mom seemingly gets away. She's okay. She seems okay. I hope the dad's okay. I think he is. Good. No, I think he died. Also, I did like when the cop, Deputy Andy, does say, get me back up. Bye. Yeah.

Never, never too rushed for manners. I really, again, the movie of them is the movie. Clovis? Clovis.

Is the MVP of this movie. The cat, the attack cat, Clovis, MVP of the entire movie. Well, Clovis, let's see that movie. Let's see that reboot. The prequel. Did we ever see how Clovis got a, like, Tanya wanted to take care of Clovis after Dan Martin was killed. Did we ever see how he escaped the, like, headquarters? No.

Oh, I don't know, but he ends up there with her at the end. Not in the one part you don't need. He's a cat, he gets in and out. It's just you and me now, Clovis, is what she says, right? Clovis heads to the house, I guess, to take revenge. Or to protect her. Maybe. Let's 1992, let's spin this off into a sitcom like Caroline in the City or something like that. A multi-cam. Yeah, a multi-cam like,

This is me and Clovis. Tanya and Clovis. She moved to the big city after her parents were murdered by sleepwalkers. It's all about how sleepwalkers are trying to get to Tanya because she's still a virgin. That's the other thing. I was like, she's never even, poor Tanya, is never even aware why she's being targeted by this monster. Yeah, she could just have sex with someone. All she needs to do is be like, oh, quick, somebody have sex with me, and I can just be invisible. Well, the dad was supposed to do it, but the morals of the society did it. Oh, fine.

Oh, God. Can you imagine if the only answer to keep his mother alive was to create another incestuous relationship in this story to keep his daughter alive, rather? I only brought it up because you said you would never say that in a movie.

It's June now. Oh, this is too much. All right. So let's talk about what we want to tell people about. Lauren, what are you up to? What do you want to tell people? You should watch Crashing on HBO. Oh, yeah. I'm recurring on that show, and it's really fun. You can follow me on Twitter, at Lauren Lapkus, and on Instagram, the same deal. That is awesome. Yeah. June? So the third season of Grace and Reggie is out on Netflix. Oh, yeah.

So check that out. And I did a web series with a friend of mine called Threadbare on her YouTube channel, which is Cubana Mama Pictures. That's really funny and wonderful and –

Yeah, check that out too. Jason? You know what? Just because I've talked about it on this podcast, I'm going to just plug Beasts of Burden by Evan Dorkin. Also, I will say follow Big 100 on Instagram, and I will plug DriveShare, which is on Go90. Jason is a part of that. It's very funny. It's super fun. 30 episodes. They're totally for free. You don't have to sign up for shit.

and, uh, and you can see Jason and I, if you want to go back in time and look at us in the last episode ever of workaholics. Oh yeah. I haven't watched it yet. It's very funny. Uh, great. Nice. So, uh, make sure you follow us at HDTGM on Twitter and on Facebook. Make sure you listen to our mini episode is Blake Harris sits down with someone from sleepwalkers. I'll keep it a secret for right now, but someone from sleepwalkers, uh,

Listen to our mini episode. If you have anything to add, call us at 619-P-A-U-L-A-S-K. That's 619-Paul-Ask. And we will play it in our mini episode. Thank you very much. Thank you to Engineer Ryan. Bye-bye.

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