Matinee Monday: Sharknado 3 (w/ Scott Aukerman)
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BAS.com slash bonkers and use the code bonkers at checkout. Grab your Red's Apple Ale, your Universal VIP front of the line pass, a big old Subway sandwich and turn on your Xfinity TV. We just saw Sharknado 3. Oh, hell no. So you know what that means.

Howdy.

Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made? I am your host, Paul Scheer, joined as always by Jason Manzoukas. How are you, Jason? Hey-oh! Sharknado 3!

Sadly, June is not here to continue the trilogy this week. Shooting schedules have dictated that that would not work out. But. Oh, people are furious. Furious to hear. People are furious. They're like, I pay good money for this podcast. She wants to, everyone wants to hear June's thoughts on Nova and everything there. Oh, sure. We'll do our best to try to accommodate. Oh, guys, Nova is back. But we are joined by a man who has not only braved the first two Sharknadoes,

But a Tyler Perry movie that we never actually did. Please welcome Scott Aukerman. You did it to me again, guys. You told me to go watch Medea's Tough Love. We just feel like that's the only way you can appreciate Sharknado is to watch a Tyler Perry movie before it. Yeah, I, yeah, absolutely.

She gets sucked into the remote control. She presses the button on the remote control that says, do not press. You know that button that's on every remote control. I would love a Madea Sandler click crossover. Yep.

Tough love click. Tough love click. But it would be click C-L-I-Q-U-E. The tough love click. Yeah. Sampler and Perry. Back in action. How about if a tough love clip, and it's actually clippy, so you can draw them from the pixels thing. Oh, yeah, from the Microsoft thing? So it's a computer thing, so clippy. So you get pixels in there. Yeah, I love it. Pixels, that'll be next week, right?

People do not like that movie. People are not into pixels. If you combine the hatred of pixels and True Detective Season 2 together, the internet would explode. Which is interesting because True Detective 2 is made of little pixels. It is, true. It's little dots, like pointillism. Sirot. Sirot? Sirot. Sirot! Sirot!

I got Siroth throat today. Oh, man. So IMDB describes Sharknado as simply this. A monstrous tornado unleashes ravenous sharks from Washington, D.C. all the way down to Orlando, Florida, period. That's it. The end. As much as this... That doesn't... If only it took that little amount of time to watch.

I did find that this one flew by faster than the other two. It flew by as fast as a great white shark in the middle of the sky. I wanted to start off by simply asking you guys, what did you guys think of the love stories? Oh, boy.

boy. This one really took some chances. Well, you know, this movie is, you know, the third in the franchise and the first two are just such consummate action movies that this one really flexes its relationship, love, romantic muscles. Well, we already care about the characters. Oh, yeah. So why would we want to watch number three unless we wanted to see this deepening of the love stories? Well, I mean, we obviously, we see, you know, Finn and April just... His name is Finn, by the way. I still marvel at it. Ha ha ha!

Oh, yeah. Like a shark fin. Yep. Finn Shepard, the great Finn Shepard. They call him Finley a lot. Yes. As if to justify it. That was the thing that kind of bummed me out at the beginning of the movie. He is running to get a presidential medal. Well, he's running to the White House. He's also just running on empty D.C. streets. Yes. And they're saying the president needs him. The president needs him. And he gets into an SUV that drives him about a mile.

block. Which drives him to a Hollywood backlot for just a brief moment. And then he runs back, he gets out because they're in traffic, and then he runs back past the Washington Monument. I know nothing about geography in D.C., but I know that that is 100% wrong. North is up, by the way. South is down. Okay, all right. That is good to know. He also runs like he's doing a high-knee drill. Like when I was on track, you would do high knees where you try and get your knees up as high as possible. That's how he runs. He runs like...

His running style is very intense and weird. He also runs, I don't know if you saw this, but he runs into, he tries to run by the security. He tries to run by the Secret Service. And they stop him, understandably. And then Bill Engvall,

Is that his name? The comedian is playing the White House chief of staff. Yeah. Sees him being detained and goes, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? What are you doing? And he goes, I'm sorry about this, man. And then he like chastises the Secret Service for daring to stop Finn. That's their fucking job. Yes. To stop people from running into the White House. It does bring me to a point that I have with the film.

Oh. Because I don't have any points with this. I have no points. I mean, I enjoyed the movie, and I thought it was great, and I had no logic issues. I'm just kidding. I have 10,000 points. I have no logic issues except for this one thing. 10,000 points of light. Yep. So arguably Finn has been at the forefront of two major attacks. They're not attacks necessarily. They're acts of God. Acts of God.

So you would imagine people know him by name. I mean, think about what Al Qaeda or ISIS could do if they could control a shark. If they could harness a Sharknado. Don't say that kind of stuff out loud. That's going to do it. You're like one of those Hollywood screenwriters who have been hired to devise 9-11 plans. Oh my God. But like, think about it. What if it fell into their hands? I started to begin to believe that are there any more sharks left in the ocean after these? That's what I

Did you notice when he's running up to the White House, which by the way, we forgot to mention, he's running there as if he's needed. Yes. And when he gets there, he's merely accepting the Presidential Medal of Honor. Yes. Yeah, he's like slightly late for it. But when he gets there, he's running past protesters and the protesters are holding up signs because the president wants to save the sharks. Yes. Apparently these are anti-shark signs.

They're in the anti-shark movement who wants to kill all the sharks in the ocean before they can be turned into Sharknados. Yes, because this movie...

Did you not notice that, Jason? I didn't catch that. Okay, and it's so barely in there. But he does say it to him. The president says it later. Finn says when the president is about. You mean President Mark Cuban? Who is Mark Cuban? He is on Shark Tank? He is literally playing Mark Cuban. No, he's not. He said, I used to be a shark. No, but I know. He says they used to call me a shark.

Yeah, I think that's like a wink. According to the IMDb, he is just listed as president of the United States. They never say Mark Cuban. I bet that's why he signed on. President Mark Cuban says, Finn says to him, wait a minute, I thought you wanted to save the Sharks. And he says, well, yeah, I do, but not these ones. And he starts killing them.

And he's very good. So it's a subplot in the movie. This is like some kind of new world where since the events of Sharknado 2, people are rising up saying kill all sharks. It seems to me like you didn't read the fan fiction in between. There's been a lot, like the Animatrix. There have been, really? Multiple films. I know there's Sharknado meets Archie, the comic book. Oh yeah, that is, which people said we should talk about too. Sorry, I did not have time for that. Had time to watch all of Sharknado. Did not have time to read one comic book. I, uh,

Oh, the one thing I was going to say, though, the issue that I have bringing me back to this thing about Finn is he is a hero, right? Yeah. Constantly not recognized by anyone. You would argue one of the most. Not recognized and also talked about as if he's the most famous man on Earth. Everybody knows who he is. People are constantly asking his daughter what's it like to be the daughter of a famous person. Yes. And at one point they're pulling into a base and he's like,

I'm Finn. Finn Shepard. Yeah, I don't believe it. Yeah. Yeah. He is. Yeah. Why wouldn't you know that? We know who everybody. I don't know. I quibble on that because you know the face of the guy who killed Bin Laden.

Well, purposefully no. Yeah, that's, yeah. Purposefully no, because the Navy SEALs, but this guy's on TV all the time. Didn't that guy do a tell-all book, and I watched the interview, and I couldn't pick him out of a crowd. I feel like Sharknadoes are more important than Bin Laden in the grand scheme of things. They are the Bin Ladens of weather. Exactly, yes. I mean, what if Bin Laden could have gotten his hands on a Sharknado? That's what I wonder. Is he the guy behind all this?

Was he the guy in the boat in the first one? Sharknado 4 could be a real anti-terrorism kind of movie. It really could. If you would, once again, SyFy, let us write this movie. Let us write this! No one has come to us, and as a matter of fact, the biggest slap in the face that this movie did

was they put a German podcasting duo who does a podcast about bad movies. No! In the movie. Oh. And not you guys. That is a real fuck you to us. All of us. And they put Heidi and Frank in there. Heidi and Frank. And not you guys. Not Frosty. Not Frosty. But, uh,

Wow. They are the front two guys on the roller coaster who are clearly German because they don't speak any English. You'll watch if you ever watch it again. It's. Nope. Yeah. How dare you? How dare you? How dare you, Sharknado? Thunder Levin, you son of a bitch. You've got three of the most consummate professional podcasters here. Yes. Doing nothing. Doing nothing. With our time. Celebrating this movie. And also doing nothing with our time.

We have so much time on our hands. We can throw this together. We were sent a box, a literal box of David Hasselhoff bobbleheads because they appreciate us. Sci-fi appreciates us. Sci-fi does. But Anthony C. Ferrante, not so much. Different story. Ferrante. You know, Ferrante, you know what he loves? German podcasters. Who is that character?

that cameo for the German podcast? Well, that's the thing. I kept being like, I bet that's a cameo. Don't know who that is. I do want to talk about the cameos. Can we talk about the cameos? Because there are so many of them. I went on the Sharknado 3 Wikipedia page today and just saw the list. The movie is just bogged

down by any time there is a person who delivers a plate of food or there's constantly people introducing other people or introducing people who are going to introduce people. They're just trying to pack as many people in there that this movie just like is so slowed down by it because every single person who puts a plate of food on the table has to have a big line and they hang on their face for a long time to go, oh, that's Holly Mac.

Well, I will tell you another thing about this movie. I believe, and I have no verification on this, but when we get to the space shuttle, spoiler alert, at the end, there are people who won a contest. This whole thing should be called spoiler alert. We're talking about everything. The people that are in the space shuttle with Hasselhoff, I believe, won a contest of some kind. I think they did. Yeah, you're right. Because they are so stilted and oddly in there, I was like, they don't look like astronauts.

and they have an oddly big part. I feel like they won a contest. The people on the ground running around like sharks have been falling on them, I feel like they're contest winners or relatives or something because they get so much screen time. The camera's just hanging on their face. And what? We can't win a contest? I'm just saying, guys, let us win a contest. We would work for scale. Let me just read you the list of everyone in this movie that is a cameo.

It would be David Hasselhoff, Bo Derek, Mark Cuban, Ann Coulter, Michelle Bachman. Michelle Bachman. Jerry Springer. They're putting Coulter and Bachman in this movie. Crazy. Jerry Springer, Chris Kirkpatrick, Chris Jericho, Holly Madison. I didn't see Jerry Springer, by the way. There's a few people. He gets eaten by the shark that's hanging in the park. Oh, is that him? Yeah, that was him. Take a picture of me. Take a picture of me. Which I have a question about because that shark is in the position of the fake jaw shark at Universal Studios. So does that mean... And we've seen it earlier in the...

in the piece as well. How did it get hung up there? Has it been playing dead the entire time or did it come to life? Here's what I would imagine. That fake shark was there. The real shark came down and got lodged on the thing knocking the fake shark off and it's in the exact same position.

Got it. Okay. Okay. Makes sense. That adds up. Chris Kirkpatrick, Chris Jericho, Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson, Anthony Weiner. Anthony Weiner is in there twice. This is sad. He's in there in the beginning and at the end. I got to say, Anthony Weiner, like, is that what just his life is amounting to now? Apparently. Like, what? What?

Carlos Danger? He is a disaster. Oh, I hope he's credited as Carlos Danger. I hope he got laid off of this movie. He probably did. But you know what I mean? Everyone used to respect him. Oh, he was like a legit up-and-coming Democrat. But he doesn't have to go through all of that and then just turn to Sharknado. No, Sharknado. Michelle Bach.

Bachman. Come on. See, Michelle Bachman, I get it. She's looking for any kind of foothold into being a person. Kathie Lee Gifford, Hoda Cobb, Ray J, Frankie Munez, Robert Klein, Michael Bolton, Michael Winslow. Who's Michael Bolton? Yeah, where's Bolton? He's credited as Steve. I don't know. Oh, Steve. Rick Fox, Cindy Margolis, Penn and Teller.

By the way, what does Teller get in? What does he get out of being this? Also, Penn lost a lot of weight. Penn lost a lot of weight. He looks good. Penn has fat, skinny guy weight. It doesn't look quite right yet. But you know what I mean? Teller talks. He's like a real man. He's a human being. Oh, wait. He's a human being? Yeah. I thought he was a ventriloquist dummy that Penn is operating. You know, like, why does he... What does he get out of showing up and sitting next to Penn and

Well, he's got, I mean, like, I'm sure that Sharknado money. And all he does is, like, shake his head. I know. He's a funny guy. Like, let him talk. He's not Teller in this. He's playing Colonel whatever in the Army. Yeah, you're totally right. Let the guy talk. Colonel Stylo. Colonel Stylo. Colonel Stylo. Let him talk.

Then there's Lou Ferrigno, Jackie Collins, Savannah Guthrie, Matt Lauer, Natalie Morales, Benji Bronk again. What is Natalie Morales in that? I think she, I thought it was Maria Menounos. No, Maria Menounos is in this. Oh, okay. All right. Who's Natalie Morales? Is she, is she?

She was part of the Today Show, I guess. She was in that panel. She's probably a part of that panel. I'm thinking of someone else. Now I'm the racist. Benji Bronco reprises his role as the end-of-the-year guy. And then Al Roker. That's a lot of cameos. And Maria Menounos has a death that I thought you would appreciate. She kind of gets...

eaten out by a shark. Oh, yeah. No, that shark, she is enjoying it. You know, because that shark... There are ways to get eaten by a shark and there are ways to get eaten by a shark. You know, sometimes when you get eaten by a shark, you get wet. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. The other thing about this movie that is...

interesting to bring up is and plus I just want to remind everybody there are other people you didn't mention like Mark McGrath there's Reza from the Shaws of Sunset who's a comedy gang gang person there's the woman who is Tim Russ from Star Trek the woman who's a real housewife yeah she has a big part she has a very big part but I feel like she she also got one of my only laughs oh really which was you can't take those cars you can't take those cars I'm gonna get fired um

Um, in a movie full of shilling shit, she shills the most shit in this movie. She talks about NASCAR. She talks about the benefits of Universal Studios, VIP pass. Front of the line passes. She, she basically does a full commercial for front of the line passes explaining how they work, what you do, um,

And the benefits of using one. Do you think, by the way, that front of the line passes are going to get to be such a common thing that you will then need front of the front of the line passes? Yeah, like VIP front of the line passes. You know what I mean? And how do we get those? Yeah. We need them. We really do. If anyone needs them, we need them. I signed up for that TSA pre-check.

Oh, yeah. At the airport because I was like, oh, this seems like a good deal. I'm about to do that, yeah. And now so many people have done it that twice I've been to the airport and that line has been longer than the regular line. And I'm like, what is the point? Yeah. Come on, everybody. Doesn't make sense. Also, Chad Ochocinco is in this movie. George R.R. Martin is right. George R.R. Martin. That's crazy. I saw that guy and I was like, that's a weird George R.R. Martin looking guy. And it's him. Jared Fogle cut out of the movie Subway Sponsored. Why?

Well, what's going on, Paul? Apparently, he didn't like his performance. Oh, interesting. Oh, he had a final cut? He had a final cut. He didn't mean to say that. Today's podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. I love Squarespace. I'm in the middle of trying to balance my business life and my real life. This work-life balance, it's tough. But Squarespace has been helping me by giving me the tools to reach my goals and have time to celebrate. That's right. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform

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Was anyone else upset that Michael Winslow, the voice master from Police Academy, didn't do enough sound effects? Yeah, he basically went like...

Yeah, he did a... Wait. I didn't... When was this? He was the guy leading them to the space shuttle. Is he playing the guy from Lava Tarantula? Oh, you know, there is... Because he and Steve Guttenberg are both in this, and I think it's a crossover, because it's definitely... Wait, Guttenberg is in this? It's a shared universe with Lava Tarantula. Yes. Which is another thing we should have watched, but we didn't. No, he and Sharknado... This is the first time I'm hearing of...

All of this. Okay. So two days later, they aired Lava Tarantula. Yes. Which is a... Steve Guttenberg. Steve Guttenberg in the cast of the Police Academy films. Tackleberry? Wait, really? I think they're all in it. Is Tackleberry in it? Holy shit, I didn't know this. Probably. He basically, they asked him who else he wanted to be in the film. He said, well, why don't we get everyone from Police Academy? That's amazing. Is Bobcat in it? Bobcat.

Wait, I'm looking right now. This is amazing. So there's this other movie, and they showed a trailer for it during Sharknado, and Ian Ziering runs through it, and they say, hey, help us with this lava tarantula. And he says, I have a shark problem on my hands. I can't do it. So it's a shared universe, like Marvel. It is a shared universe, but listen to this. Michael Winslow in...

Sharknado plays Brian. He plays a different guy because he gets killed. Jonesy Jones, right. And then Lavalanchela. Oh, that's Michael Lanslow. Lavalanchela. Is that how it is? Lavalanchela? Lavalanchela. He plays Marty. Lavalanchela does make it. Lavatarantula. I like Lavatarantula too. It at least makes sense. But it's not as bad as Sharknado, which is what I thought the first one was for a long time. Hey, Sharknado, get over here. Um...

My favorite cameo was Jackie Collins, who introduces herself to Finn. Hi, I'm Jackie Collins. And I'm still a thing. Who is this cameo appealing to? Who is it for? That's my point. None of these cameos are interesting. This is basically the love boat. It is. You know what I mean? Jackie Collins was a love boat guest. Here's the thing.

Some of these people are like, okay, wow. Oh, cool. That's well, that's even Michelle Bachman. I go, oh, that's interesting. Yeah. But Jackie Collins, no one cares. Collins, Jackie Collins, no one of nobody. No, Jackie Collins fans are tuning in to Sharknado. And they give her so much time. It's more fun to say. It is. I like Sharknado. What are you? Some kind of Sharknado? Sharknado. You a rat? You a rat, Sharknado? Yeah. But no one, no.

is tuning in for her. So like, let's get, and the, you know, the Kendra Wilkinsons of the world and like, let's separate the wheat from the chaff. Does it, I mean like, shouldn't there be at least three pussycat dolls in this movie? I feel like this is like an open casket. An open casket? Yeah, it is. It's just,

I feel like it is. It's very much so. I feel like they just gave out this address on Twitter and said, if you show up, we'll put you in the movie. Except us! Exactly. We're the only people not getting the invite for this. Guys, all of us are on successful TV shows that would bring some level. Wow, you're giving me a little too much credit. All right, so a lot of cameos. A lot of cameos. I could spend two hours talking just about Tara Reade. Oh, wow.

Oh, well. We have to talk about it. Yeah, any way you want to go. Yeah, Tara Reid. Okay. We can go chronologically, too. I'm happy. I have a lot of different points. All of her stuff with Bo Derek is straight up bananas. The first scene, okay, Finn goes running in and he's accepting the Presidential Medal of Honor. Right? Cut to Tara Reid and Bo Derek wandering around Universal Studios Orlando. Where they are for the entire movie. And Bo Derek says, hey, where's your husband? Yes.

And is treating it like the husband's a real shithead. Yeah, for not being at Universal Studios or Orlando. He is arguably America's single greatest hero. And receiving America's highest honor. Tara Reade is the asshole in this scenario. Yes, she's pregnant and maybe shouldn't hop on a plane. But her baby belly is tiny. But what is she doing at Universal Studios?

- She could go to studios if she's pregnant. - Well, yeah, never mind going into space, which she does. - Yeah. - She goes into space while pregnant. - While pregnant. - And then re-enters the Earth's atmosphere in a shark's stomach. - That's good for the baby. - That is irresponsible parenting. - That's irresponsible. - Oh my gosh. - Which leads me to my belief at the end that she should be killed. - Can I just, as we talk about this, I wanna play Finn receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom and being inducted into the Order of the Golden Chainsaw. Take a listen. - Ladies and gentlemen,

for his heroic actions in both New York and Los Angeles. For saving countless lives and alerting the world to a new terrifying threat. It is my great honor to present the country's highest civilian commendation, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, to Finley Alan Shepard. Beautiful moment. Amazing.

By way of a thank you from the people of the city of New York. I can't stop my leg. We want to present you with this. You are the very first member of the Order of the Golden Chainsaw. Oh, really? That hasn't been created before? And it's a working chainsaw. You can't be the first member of an order. There has to be at least two people. And he gets it, and it's a tightrope.

It's a pretty tiny little chainsaw. It's a pretty tiny, but it's supposed to look like a trophy. Yeah, it's supposed to look like a trophy and it looks like a gold trophy and they go, ah, golden order of the chainsaws. That's funny. But then a shark attack happens. A shark attack and it's a working chainsaw. Which is funny. I think that's an intentionally funny thing. There's sharks?

Are attacking Finn wherever he is to a degree that makes me believe that this is like Jaws 4 and the sharks know it's him. Well, they bring it up in the thing because it's sort of a John McClane situation where people should be running away from him on Christmas Day every time they see him. But again, here's a radio show, guys, blaming Finn. You just hear this and...

Play this real quick.

He has a plan and wherever he goes, he destroys. Nobody survives yet. Finn Shepard and his family seem to always survive just fine. We'll be back in just a moment. Oh, I love this conspiracy theory. So either he has like a shark magnet

Or he's causing this. What's his intent? The first movie made sense. What? Well, to a degree that they were somehow corralling sharks and then a tornado lifted these sharks. Yeah. Now it just seems like whenever a weather system goes on, sharks are flying out of the water. And not all the kelp and other fish. It's just the sharks. I was going to say, no other fish. No other fish. It's just sharks. And how are there so many sharks next to Washington, D.C.? I would like to make whale-a-cane.

It's a hurricane full of whales. Well, Frankie Muniz does coin the term sharkacane. Oh, he does. But yeah, I mean, it doesn't make any sense anymore in terms of like the conditions of what, but I will say- It seems like whenever a storm is about to hit,

It's ripe for sharks to fly. Also, sharks at this point now can just straight up live outside of water. Yeah. You know what I mean? They live in space, which is space. I actually think they're making a case for this is like an environmental film. Like the world is, the weather is going so crazy now. Oh, interesting. Because of global warming or something that sharknados are now not only possible. Michelle Bachman would never be in that movie if that was the case. Yeah.

I don't think she read it that closely. I don't think she can read it. But they're not only possible, but they're probable. They say that anywhere on the eastern seaboard, they can happen now. Well, what's going on? They're happening everywhere. They're happening in Charleston. They're happening. Oh, Charleston is completely wiped out. Decimated. Charleston is completely wiped out. And people in Disney and rather Universal Orlando are having the best time.

Yeah. And there is a shark that goes down one of the water slides, and the park is not evacuated. And Bo Derek is nonplussed. These sharks love to have some fun, like that one that was on the roller coaster for no reason. Oh, yeah. Basically just going up and down a roller coaster for a while. Up the loop-de-loop. It was fun. Having a great time. I have to say about this film...

I, you know, we, sometimes we get flack for talking about these films because they say, they say you're, you're, you're making fun of something that is, is tongue in cheek. But no, I feel like the first one was so shittily made that they didn't expect it. They didn't expect it to be, but, but it was full of plot holes. It was shot poorly. Uh,

It was fun to make fun of that. The second one, and the first one, it was fun to make fun of the plot. Yes, yes. Because it just didn't make any sense. Because it was silly. The second one, we were making fun of the parts that are shittily made. Sure. This one, I have to say, it's kind of well-made, technically. They definitely have more money, and they're going for it. But I think my issue with it is,

What they think they're doing versus what they're actually doing is different. We've always talked about that. And they think the cameos are people going, yes, every single time someone's on screen. No, it's slowing down your movie. Totally. And it's not even making a good, bad movie. There's some good, bad movies.

I think the golden chainsaw is fun. I don't want to make fun of the golden chainsaw because I laughed when he revved it up and he's killing sharks with a golden chainsaw. That's intentional. When it turned into a lightsaber at the end. I laughed. I loved that. Laser chainsaw. Laser chainsaw. When Nova came back, I was legit psyched.

Yeah. Yes. I forgot about her. And she was a badass. Because A, I enjoy the continuity of reintroducing this character. And she wasn't in the second movie. I like that she's here. And B, she's ridiculous. She can inexplicably fly like fighter jets. Yes. Because she did 100 hours of supersonic fighter jets. She was a waitress at like a Jimmy Buffett. Yes. A low-rent Jimmy Buffett. Like at a Bubba Gump shrimp company. Yes.

And can fly an F-18. She's driving around with Frankie Munez. Who has a post-traumatic shark disorder. Yes. Which I want to use all the time. That should now take the place of PTSD. Because PTSD doesn't stand for post-traumatic. Stress disorder. But it's not like shooting disorder or war disorder. It's like you don't name it after. It would still be PTSD. He still has a stress disorder. It's just caused by sharks. Yeah. Yeah.

The scene where Frankie Muniz, when they take off and he's trying to get back to the Shark Winnebago, and he has every single one of his limbs broken off. Eaten off. I was laughing. I was laughing my head off about that. And then he finally, with his chin, presses...

What I can only assume is a self-destruct button for the Winnebago that is on the roof of it. Which makes no sense. What on earth is that? Put it inside the Winnebago. Why is it on the roof of the Winnebago? It was easier to shoot. Anybody, anybody has access to that. And the sharks can eat you. Yes. Which is exactly what they do. Yep. While he's trying to press it. I do think, by the way. The van blows up, by the way, and Nova's like, I have to go help him. Yeah. What? Nova's banging on the window. He exploded.

There is no him. I want to talk about... Frankie Muniz hasn't acted in a while. He's a race car driver now, right? That's his whole thing. I thought he was okay. I thought he was okay. There was one moment that was...

Because you can tell there are some of the cameos are very, very stiff. I didn't think Mark Cuban was awful. I just wrote a note on here that says Mark Cuban is truly a shitty actor. I had no joke. I just like was writing this down as I was watching it. I would not put it past Mark Cuban to call you like after this episode comes out. Hey, man.

not cool. I'm doing my best. I did know, somebody did told me one time at, uh, uh, at Sony that the, the people from shark tank are very adamant that they need to be acting in shows. And they were like, wow, you like whoever, a Sony, I guess, or no, as actors, they're like, I need to be on sitcoms. I need. So I remember there was one thing that I was working on there and they were like, what do you think about Mr. Wonderful? Um,

Mr. Warmth? Is that his name? No, Mr. Warmth is Rickles. Mr. Wonderful is the bald guy. And it's like he wants to be an actor. Well, that is kind of what I'm saying. Wait a minute, so do we. Why are we coming down on that? Hosts of a show that want to act? Impossible!

Improbable! Those jerks! What idiots! We've not spent a majority of our lives being corporate CEOs. All of us have been on the performing stage. But they would, like, in days past, like... Days of future past? They should be in days of future past. Okay, cast of Shark Tank, cast them as the X-Men. I would love it. Do you think Cyclops, when he got circumcised, got the rogue cut? Oh, boy.

I just want to tell you about the one thing that Frankie Munoz says. If you have not watched it, I think it's worthy of watching it. He, when there's a bridge that's out in the middle of the movie, he acts to this bridge. And I only wrote down Michael Jackson in the music video Thriller. His hands are kind of jutting like...

Paul, by the way, is doing the strangest gestures with his fingers. It's almost like a... Get a picture of this. Get a picture of this. Finger action. He's got a lot of finger... Get a gif of this. This deserves a gif. And that was the only time I was like, that's an odd choice. He was this kind of... Like Michael Jackson in Thriller, just kind of creeping forward. You're doing the dance, the werewolf dance. The werewolf dance. That's what I felt. Yes, thank you. I was trying to...

Remember the Michael Jackson thriller video of him pointing at something. Bridges out. Well, what I want to say, though, is, you know, the film is pretty well made for what it is. Yeah, sure.

So there are still actors that are really bad in it. Oh, yeah. And you have to look at Tara Reid for that. She is the absolute worst actor in this. It's tough stuff, man. I do not blame them for wanting to take it to the fans of whether she should be killed or not. I mean, one of her first lines,

She's on the phone with Ian Ziering, and Ian's doing a good job. I like him in these movies. He is very aware of what he's doing and is chewing it up. And he's acting the shit out of it. The same with David Hasselhoff. He's acting the shit out of this. He then is having this phone conversation with Tara Reid, and she's saying, when are you going to get here? When are you getting to Orlando Universal Studios? He's on his way. Planes have been grounded. And he says, as long as it's healthy and I'm there when it's born, that's all I care about. That's all I care about.

And she goes, okay. That was the weirdest line reading ever. There were so many scenes of phone calls that the two people on either side are clearly have nothing going on with each other. No relationship. And scenes in which people are talking to each other. Um,

but they clearly didn't shoot them on the same day. So, like, people are just delivering lines, and then it's a reverse on somebody some other day saying lines. Like, the Robert Klein lines are like that. The energy is not making any sense. The energy doesn't add up. They clearly don't occupy the same space. It's crazy. Well, my question is, like, why is she so against it? Because it's only proven to be a commercial hit continually. Is she against it? Is that, like, she doesn't want to be in it? Or she's contractually obliged to be there? I think that she just...

I get the feeling she doesn't want to be there. She's like, Oh, interesting. She's sleepwalking through it. She's not trying. When they're up in space, David Hasselhoff, they put on all their helmets and there's these special lights on their faces. They're, you know, they're emoting. And then it cuts to Tara Reid and she just has this blank look on her face. Like she doesn't know a camera is there. And by the way, Tara Reid's mask never opens for some odd reason. The glass goes down in both of their shields. Well, he goes, he goes, um, he goes, uh,

Visors up. Well, first, yeah. Or whatever it's called. Well, first he goes, he goes, helmet's on. Yeah. Which is a big moment. Yeah. Like, and then he goes, visors down. Like, you don't have to extend that moment. Just helmet's on is enough. We don't need visors down. And they are wearing, if I could describe that they are wearing like Halloween costume level. They're like Apollo 13 Halloween costumes. You know what I mean? Like little plastic. Yes. They look like children's Halloween costumes. They look terrible. Yeah.

It's awful. And NASA was terrible. Yeah, NASA was like really – look, they're trying. They're stretching a dollar. They're trying, but most of it looks pretty good. When you've got to pay Jackie Collins top of show, that's a showbiz term. She's number one on the call sheet. You've got to get her in there. I would pay money to see a non-

effects version of this movie. Just no effects in it at all. I think that would just be amazing. Because I really feel like there is very little going on. That's like Garfield without Garfield. Yes. You know, like what if you saw Sharknado without any sharks, without anything? You just watched people reacting to nothing. Like the Big Bang Theory with no laugh track. Yeah. Is that a thing?

Yeah. Oh yeah. It's really funny. Oh, that's great. Just people sitting and staring at each other for a long time, saying a corny joke and then sitting and staring at each other. That's amazing. Um, yeah, she is truly awful. And I, I pray she does not return. Although it's fun to make fun of her. I feel like by four, there's going to be nothing to make fun. I, I, I wonder if four, I mean like this, I enjoyed this one the most, like a hundred percent. I, I, this one made the most sense. Yes. Yes. And I,

I enjoy it. Which is, let's just like examine that. You just said this one makes the most sense and we were like, yes. And they're going in space. Keep in mind, this movie. They're fighting sharks with a chainsaw. Makes no sense. It's kind of going on the Mission Impossible trajectory of sequels. We're like,

The first one was okay. The second one, ah. And then all of a sudden, the J.J. Abrams, oh, that's good. Oh, that's not bad. And then by four, it's going to be one of the best movies you see that year. Yeah, exactly. Rogue Nation, come on. Forget about it. This is how they let the audience know about April. Here we go. Here we go.

Now's your chance to be part of Sharknado history. You decide if April lives or April dies by tweeting your choice now or by going to sharknado.sci-fi.com to vote. Her fate will be revealed in Sharknado 4 because we're not done yet.

There's no possible way she survives. No one wants her. What would you vote? I would vote no. April dies. Vote die. Yeah, of course. Although just to fuck with them, I almost would like to keep her in just to make them go, God damn with the results. We've got to work with fucking Tara. But that's why they brought Nova in because Nova brings a boom. Boom. She's in there and you're like, well, well. And she brings a little sex appeal. Like when they fall out of the sky...

Oh, this is the man. I want to talk about this. No, no, no. You're talking about him. And then they emerge from the water naked, basically, and then have clothes. You got a little something for... She's wearing underwear. She's wearing the tiniest little underwear. Yes. And my question was, why not put on Universal costumes at that point? At that point, they should have been wearing... Why not put on the Blues Brothers costumes? I feel like they should have been... This movie was so... Ba-da-ba! What?

The only thing we could find. He's in a Doc Brown costume. She's in one of the Blues Brothers. Oh, these sharks are falling out of the sky, Marty. Guys, I just... You know how old Nova is? You know what year Nova was born? Tell me. Don't want to take a guess. Depress me. Yeah. Okay, let me think. What year was I born? Just take a year. Because of her youth, you mean. 2000. I'm going to let you guys guess how old she might be. 2000. Okay. 91. 91.

90. 90. Yeah, man. She's a youngie. Yeah. How old is the daughter? The daughter seems too old to be the daughter. By the way, the daughter, they make two lines of dialogue about the fact that she changed the color of her hair. Yeah, did we? We can figure that out ourselves. I didn't even remember her from the second movie. Who cares? Like, two people go, oh, you changed the color of your hair. Yeah, we get that these are a year apart and people do shit to their hair. And some of those people are strangers. Yeah.

Some of those people are strangers to her who have just like seen her on TV. Yeah, as the daughter of a famous person. You know what? What? They replaced the daughter. That's why they made a big deal out of it. Not the same dog.

Not without my daughter. Yes, that's why they had to make a big deal out of it. Not the same daughter. Isn't there a better way for that joke if you're doing a nod to the fact that you replaced? Those are the things that I feel like they miss out on. Yeah. Like nod to that in a big way. Yeah, there's some sort of like Becky on Roseanne kind of reference or something. Yeah, I liked her actually. Why don't you have it be played by Becky?

Yeah, exactly. I liked her, but then she had that little boyfriend who followed her everywhere. Okay, so let's talk about the boyfriend. Because they make a big deal about this. She likes this boy. She meets in line at the roller coaster. And then that weird rapey guy starts immediately macking on the friend. And then they both die. And then they're just together. And he...

is brought along. He has no family, I guess. He never wants to check in with his family. He's just stoked to hang with her. He's along for the ride. Shoot machine guns off the roof at sharks. Yeah. And at one point. Everyone is amazing at shooting guns and high-powered guns very quickly. Well, just like the first movie, everybody is instantly capable of doing anything. Yeah. Flying planes, shooting guns, everything that you, is just doable. Yeah.

At one point, someone sees the new daughter and this boyfriend and Tara Reid, and someone comments to them that, wow, you're really lucky. You guys are a great family. And he just nods along. He's part of the family now. It's been 20 minutes. He's part of the family. But now it's weird because it's incest when they hook up. Yeah.

And God punished him with the ultimate punishment. That's true. Death by shark. By the way, we're talking about ages. Yeah. Ian Ziering. Do you want to guess how much older his father, played by David Hasselhoff, is? I feel like it's maybe like 10 years, right? Is it about that? 12 years. Oh, wow. So technically possible. Hasselhoff could have gotten some semen out of those things. I believe it. I believe Hasselhoff was capable of fathering a child at 12. At 12, yeah. Oh, wait a second, guys. What's that?

Ian Ziering, or Ian, is in La Valantula playing Ian. What? Not his thing? Yeah. This is blowing up the whole shared universe concept. Yeah, I think they don't understand what shared universe is. Or you know what it might be? What? Is their, like, nods to, yeah, this is shared universe, but they don't have rights. Oh, wow.

Oh, right, because two different places. Because it's two different production companies or something. Right, so he's just saying I have a shark issue, but he's not being... But he's technically, they can't credit him as Finn Shepard. Although, why not be like, you know, Michael Keaton in Out of Sight and Jackie Brown? These studios do each other a solid. Yep. This back-to-school season, spend less on your kids with Amazon. Now, here's the thing. I love back-to-school season, but I'm going to be honest. It's expensive.

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Can we talk about the sun? Because the sun from number two is not in this. He's in the service. He's away on his tour of Afghanistan or something. I have a theory he's back and forth Nova style and he's going to be grown up and he's going to be like a famous actor and he's going to like do some big, you know, dramatic entrance. Is this you? Are you saying that you're going to? I'd like for it to be me.

I'm the 45-year-old son of Ian Ziering, who's 50. How did this get made, fans? Let's get Scott Ackerman cast as Finn Shepard's son. Put us in cameo. We don't even have to write it. Put us in cameo. This is ridiculous. Ridiculous.

If they can write in April Lives or Dies, we can write in Scott Aukerman for the role of Von Brody? No, is that his name? No, it's not because Finn's last name isn't Brody. Isn't that Mark McGrath? Oh, yeah, it's Mark McGrath. Who is barely in this, by the way. Which is a real bummer. I really missed him in this. I liked his vibe in the second one. His very first line, they're at the White House, and Finn just accepted the Presidential Medal of Honor is,

How you doing, man? Yeah. Mark the graph to the end. No one really came out to support Finn. That seemed like his family or friends. Yeah, what is that all about? Nobody supports him. Or is it just old hat to him? Nobody... Well, that's the thing. He is wildly unsupported. His father treats him like he's a... Like he's an idiot. Like he's an idiot. Yes. And I'm like...

On what planet? Like, he has saved... The only one doing the work. Yeah. Bo Derek treats him like a zero and she's a ten. Oh. Nice. Oh, boy. That's a reference for all of you kids out there about Bo Derek's movie called The Ten. I wonder how many people out there... No one even knows who Bo Derek is anymore. I was going to say, I have no idea who Bo Derek is. Like, the sexiest woman from our childhood. Well, I mean, that's... You know, it's a lesson to...

you know, people out there going, Ooh, I got the most beautiful bride. I got, you know, just look at Baudelaire. Like it's gotta be about what's on the inside. Cause it happens to us all. Two questions about the logic of this movie. Sure. Only two, only two.

Sharks, at certain points, when they're whipped up by the tornado, Sharknado, or Shark-a-cane, can crash through a building and literally destroy it. Yeah, because that happens to the Washington Monument. Exactly. Other times, they can just knock people off, hit them on the head and knock them down. So I don't understand what's happening here. The physics of it? Yes. They also are able to fall down.

through the White House with enough force to penetrate the bunker underneath the White House. Like the safest bunker. But they also can fall on the ground and not explode. Yes, and rob around. Because if they're hurtling with that much force, they should be then making deep impressions of the ground. Critical shark velocity is something that scientists are studying. Did anyone...

Did anyone also understand or care to explain to me how sharks could live in space? Well, I buy that. Well, there is one line in there that they say, how can they survive in space? And then Ian Ziering says, how can they survive a tornado? Like, you can't just say... A question with a question. A question with a... Neither makes sense. Yep.

Talk to me about the mascara that's a bullet. Okay, this is the one part of the movie I do not understand. I don't either. This is the one part that I was like, okay, this reminds me of the first two. Yes. Where there are lines of dialogue that I rewound it. I transcribed it. I asked my wife about it. I said, what are they trying to say? She tried to explain it, but neither of us really had an answer. But here's what happens. We get it. You're married.

Sorry, ladies. Wow. To a beautiful, lovely lady. Gotta get it out there. Listen to who charted. Nova has a gun. Yes. She's out of bullets. A gun that is outfitted also with like a machete on the end of it. Right. Okay. Yeah. Some crazy. Something like that. She's out of bullets and there's a guy she's trying to save. Like a military guy. And she goes, and he's been partly eaten by a shark, but she goes, how are you? He goes, I'm okay, but don't wait for me.

There's no hope for me. Wait a minute. Are you okay? Or is there no hope for you? Okay. But then she tries to shoot her gun at an oncoming shark. She's out of bullets. He then sees wrapped around almost like Chewie with the artillery around it. Like a bandolier. Bandolier. She sees he has mascara on.

Like little packets of mascara. It says mascara on it. Right, yes. But isn't it on her? It's on her, yeah. Like on her bandolier. Okay, it says mascara. Yeah.

He says, don't put on makeup. She says, trust me, they're real. I'm looking at it right here, yes. Okay, which is a joke about her boobs because she's leaning over and her boobs are hanging out. But she's referring to her mascara. Yes. She puts the mascara in the gun and then shoots the shark. Correct. And that works. Uh-oh, guys. What does that mean? I just figured it out. Okay. Okay. This is very important here.

I did a little Googling as we were talking. Okay. That's kind of rude, but go ahead. And so I don't know if you remember this. I fell victim to this. But in the middle of the movie, Tara Reid is doing a commercial for Benefit Cosmetics. What? Yes. In the middle of the movie, it cuts to like a Home Shopping Network show. And a shark comes in and they kill it with some beauty products.

So you just said trust me. I don't remember that at all. You may have not fallen victim to it. It's like when they used to do those shitty things during Mad Men. Oh wait, the Pod Busters. Oh, I must have fast forwarded through it. So they did a Pod Buster with Tara Reade. Okay. She's doing Pod Busters? She barely won

What's a pod buster? It's the little like that. We do them on our show, too. It's like a little 30 second thing. Oh, it's an ad with you. It's not it's not even an ad, but it's it's designed to make you stop fast forwarding. Yes. Yes. In order to look at the ads that are around it. They do it on million dollar listing where it's just like a 30 to 60 second like little scene. OK, got it.

Okay. Oh, I know what it is. They do it on Dual Survival. Okay. It's called Tips for Survival or something. They do them on Portlandia. Every popular show has a podcast. They do it on Dual Survival. So you just said they're real. I Google right here to see a gif or jif, however you want to pronounce it. I don't care. And I looked at her bandolier and on her bandolier,

All the bullets say they're real. Type in they're real mascara. It is a product called they're real mascara.

It is a silver mascara that she was wearing in her bandolier. It's about lengthening. It's a real product. So it's product placement. They're real lengthens, curls, but they're not lifts and separate. But why would she have them in a bandolier? Is she using them as bullets? I think she was probably doing her makeup in addition to killing sharks. But wait, she carries her makeup around on a bandolier.

This doesn't add up. So the bandolier is full of these things because, yes, I just saw the clip of it. Okay. That's that. Well, all right. And by the way, if you look at HollywoodLife.com, there is Terry and her Podbuster right there with the benefit, their real mascara. I pray she got paid more to do that. Yeah, so that is it. It's not even in the shape of a bullet.

But basically, it's just their real mascara. That's depressing. That is to the level of the first two of something that we don't understand. But it was just product placement because we didn't even... But by the way, bad product placement because we didn't even understand. Because we didn't know that it was a product.

And I have to say, like, you know, it's not to the level of is that Tara Reade's arm that was in the shark at the end of Sharknado 2 level of what the fuck is happening here. But that was the one part that I just was like, I truly do not understand what's happening. If I'm showing them the beautiful little picture. OK, yeah, we're watching this part of it. She's she's putting the mascara into the gun.

That would cause the gun to backfire and kill her. Yeah, for sure. Wait a second. Wait a second. I don't think you're right. What if, what if the cool thing about this mascara is there's gunpowder in it? Okay, now I'm listening. How?

How did it clear the board if they're real? Like, you know what I mean? You're going to have a self-defense mechanism for women because women will walk home at night and a creepy guy will be there. What happens if someone goes into a school and shoots up a bunch of kids with this mascara? Or somebody's going to really hurt themselves loading mascara into a gun and trying to shoot it. This is irresponsible. Don't ask, don't tell.

All right. They go to the moon. Sharks in space. How does Hasselhoff end up on the moon?

Yeah. He flies there in his little jet pack. Is that it? He has a little jet pack? He flies around. But it seems to me like you... I'm wondering about the physics of it for real. Like if you flew towards the moon, at a certain point, you would just start to fall to the moon? I'm assuming the moon must have some sort of gravitational pull. So at a certain point, once you enter its orbit, you would be pulled in. Wouldn't you start to burn up from...

I don't think it has the ozone. Oh, because the moon is dead. Wait, why are we even? Who cares? We've got to get Neil deGrasse Tyson on the phone. Joining us now, astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson to answer all of our Sharknado and space questions. He's the host of Cosmos, not Nova.

Amazing. Thank you. Also, the level of gas. You only have enough gas to get me or go back to Earth. One seemed like five feet and the other one seemed like... They call it fuel. Also...

Also, it doesn't matter because the shuttle blows up anyway. The shuttle blows up anyway and they just fall to Earth. And then they just fall to Earth in the... I wanted Sandra Bullock to make a cameo on that beach. I thought, yeah. That would have been the best cameo. That would have been the greatest. Just boom. There's Sandra Bullock also getting it. And Tom Hanks is there from Castaway. Before they go to space, did you notice someone wrote a song called I'm a Badass, How Do You Do? No. There's a song when they're all suiting up. It's like...

I'm a badass. How do you do? Which is not a badass thing to say, by the way. To formally introduce yourself and tip your hat. How do you do? How do you do? I'm a badass. Oh my gosh. But they go to space. David Hasselhoff is Ian's dad who never believed in him.

And he owns a diner? He owns a diner. There was a diner that was there, I guess, at Cape Canaveral that some corporation bought. The secret shuttle, by the way. He bought it back in order to turn it back into the diner that he wanted to eat at. Yeah, because it was turned into like a Chuck E. Cheese. Right, yeah. But they all know Lance. No, not Lance Armstrong. Who am I trying to say? Who?

Who went to the moon? Buzz Aldrin. Buzz Aldrin. How did Buzz Aldrin say no to this movie? Yeah. Out of everything he's done, that shitty Funny or Die video. The rapping Funny or Die. Wait, what is... But let me ask you this, because they basically are like...

well, we know there's a secret space shuttle. Right. And he's like, oh, come on. They know. I can't tell you. Ian Ziering and Nova know about everything. They know about it. And then he goes, well, maybe if you call your buddy the president and Ian Ziering says, well, I can try. And before he even does, David Hasselhoff calls up and goes, we're going to need to fly that shuttle. Yeah. And by the way,

- By the way, what was it? I didn't even, I literally watched and was paying attention to the last 20 minutes and nothing made sense to me. I was like, what is different about this space shuttle than anything else? - Well they were trying to drop bombs from a higher altitude into the huge Sharknado, I presume, so they had to do it from space.

And it doesn't matter, by the way, because what works is Star Wars. And Star Wars is already there. The problem is they succeed. It actually does work. But what happens is the sharks then start being shot into space. Yes. They've come out of the atmosphere. And they're now in their space sharks. So they need Star Wars in order to shoot a laser down. I don't know. Come on.

Come on.

onto Earth and bisect all of Florida. And people are just watching. And people are watching it. From the sidelines going, wow, cool. The amount of civilian casualties from that laser alone. That would be bigger than Man of Steel. I was just going to say it was bigger than Man of Steel. I heard that Batman v Superman. Where are you, Anthony C. Ferrante? Batman v Superman v Sharknado. Hey, that's something I would watch. By the way, he is not a hero. Finn Shepard, this is the interesting thing about him. He's going to be like,

Ghostbusters 2 where they blame the Ghostbusters. I think that's coming. I think there's something... Where does it go? Where does Sharknado 4 go? We're all writers. Where does it go? Do they try to rescue David Hasselhoff who, by the way, sees... Time travel. Time travel. They have to. Look at that.

Let us write this time traveling Sharknado movie. When you get caught in the Sharknado, you travel through time. She's dead. All the fans vote her out. He travels back to save her. Done. I love it. To the first movie, like Back to the Future 2? Yes.

We could write this. We are. That would be fun. We wrote Rocky versus Rambo in a weekend. We can do this in a day. By the way. You need it tomorrow. Done. Are you going to, I was going to ask you this question off air, but I'll ask it on there. Sure. We read Rocky versus Rambo on air one time. Would that be a fun thing to do? I want to do a charity for Harris's charity. Okay. I want to do a reading of it, like in public that we could record. That would be really amazing. Yeah.

Sharknado 4, time traveling back through the first three movies. There you go. And saving his reputation, saving his wife, and I guess doing something with Nova. Stopping that deal in the beginning of the first movie. Who were those people? My belief is that Sharknado 4 needs to introduce...

The true villain of the movie. Yes, of the movie. Who's pulling the strings. Who is behind it all. I'm talking Malkovich. Mr. Shark and Edo. I'm talking Malkovich. I'm talking Gary Sinise. Is it God, though? Are they playing God? Or it's like a very intelligent shark. Yeah. What if it's like a shark in a suit? Oh, my gosh. It's a shark stroking a man. Stroking a dolphin. Stroking a naked man. A bald, hairless man.

Would you shave your head and beard for that role? No. Wait, wait, wait. Jason, think of the idea. Do I get to write it? Yes. Okay, and I get to be in it as the pet of the shark villain? Okay, yes, I'll do it. That is a verbal contract. If you're wondering if Tara Reid gives birth to her child in the stomach of a shark, yeah, she does. She does. By the way, question about that. Yep, and yes. The baby...

The baby, first, they get out of the shark, which is a vehicle. Okay, here's what happens. All the sharks fall on the ground. Ian's earring prizes- From space. From space. And it's burned up. It's charred from the burning in the atmosphere. Which is delicious. I'm a big barbecue fan, so I looked- Oh, that looks yummy. Yeah, yeah, really good. So he comes out of the one that he's in. He thought maybe Tara Reid was in the one that he was in, but she's not. So he finally finds one that falls to the ground, and he goes up to it, and he hears her chainsaw. Yes. Oh!

Her chainsaw hand. I'm sorry. She has a chainsaw in her robot hand, which don't forget, Tara Reid has a bionic hand in this movie that has a chainsaw. Something that we didn't even bring up. Yes. It's just one of the many things. Guys, I know I bring it up every time we talk about this, but I was in a movie where Ving Rhames had shotgun legs. Anyway. Right.

So who are you to talk? I'm used to the creative conventions of these films. But so this shark falls to the ground. The chainsaw starts happening. You think Tara Reid is going to come out of the shark. Yes. A little tiny baby. Baby doll. Baby doll. With no umbilical cord. None. She's cut it off with her chainsaw hand. Yes. And the baby seems to peer out. Tara Reid doesn't put her hand through, crack open a hole. No, the baby's hand...

appears first as if it's opening the hole in the shark's body. Yes. Right. The baby should be, like, next level dead. Yeah, yeah. Reincarnated already. The baby should have died 10,000 times in the course of this movie. The heat inside the shark alone would have cooked the baby. The baby should not have been in space.

No. She is pregnant with a child in space. That's a little like old school. You know, that's very Jessica Alba, Honest Company kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I got to say, I laughed. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Oh, it was a great beat. You know, it was a great beat. And then Tara Reid comes out and it's all safe. Is it a girl or a boy? It's a boy. It's a boy. Who's going to play that boy?

By the way, let's fast forward, put gray hair and I in zero. Oh, yeah. Now we have a future. Now we have a movie. Let's hand this off just like they successfully did in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. To Shia LaBeouf. Where they introduced Shia LaBeouf as the next character to take over that franchise. Man, and it's been so good. His movies, I actually, who's your favorite Indiana Jones? I think it's Shia LaBeouf. Definitely Shia LaBeouf. Definitely, yeah.

All right, so obviously we had an opinion about it. Hashtag my indie. Shia is my indie. We obviously had an opinion about this movie, but there are other people out there that had a different opinion. Not many. It is now time for Second Opinions. Second Opinions.

We decided to do something a little bit different this time because there wasn't enough time to get second opinions from this film. There's not enough reviews up of this film yet. So we went back to look at Sharknado 1 and 2, and these are five-star reviews from Sharknado 1 and 2, and these are amazing. Okay, Sharknado 2, five-star reviews. I'm going to read a bunch of them because they're pretty great.

Granddaughter loved it. Five stars. All I can say is my daughter liked it. Five stars. My granddaughter loves it. Five stars. Classic. My grandkids love it. Five stars. What is this grandkids thing? There's a common thread here. All these granddaughters. And then this one.

by Beckett Franklin, I keep a couple around for teen gifts. Five stars. I keep a couple around for teen... Oh, gifts. Gifts. Not gifts. So then those are some of the five-star gifts. I love teen gifts. I'm making teen gifts out of these films. Ooh, I keep a couple around for teen gifts. Also amateur gifts. This is another... Although teen gifts, that's not a bad movie. Guys, that's why... Like Teen Wolf? That's why Jared Fogle got put away for... Teen gifts. Teen gifts.

Okay, so... Preteen GIFs. Allegedly. Allegedly. He's not put away. What was the file called on the computer? Like, good stuff. Really? Has that been put out? Oh, I didn't hear that. June has a file on her computer that says, don't look in here. Literally called, don't look in here. Have you ever looked? No. Who's it for? Is it for you? No, no, no. Sorry. It's not do not look in here. It's called not important stuff. Okay.

And it's like all the most important stuff. Yeah. Not important stuff. Definitely not passwords. Um,

Okay, this is another one, a five-star review. What's the better way of hiding stuff? Like, shouldn't it be something like... Taxes! Not even, like, or like, just like some sort of program run. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you know, like Adobe, you know, Adobe... File, yeah, fonts. Yeah, exactly. This is from Sam Groff, who wrote, I just love it. I just love it. It's better than the first, and Tara Reid is simply beautiful. Oh, yeah.

Simply. Simply beautiful. I'll go with him on simple. This one is from The Great One. Who doesn't like shark things other than the ones being eaten? Whoa. Some good deaths in this. Some very good ones. Oh, yeah. And then this one from Hager Don. Hager the Horrible? Hager the Horrible. He has a lot of opinions, especially about his wife.

He goes, I hate sharks. Five stars. Whoa. He loves this movie because they kill sharks. Yeah. Wow. And I did find one five star review. I'm calling it a five star review from Rotten Tomatoes.

Of Sharknado 3, and this one is pretty great. It's the Sharknado universe is expanding exponentially like the Mad Max world. Five stars. Oh, God. Wait a minute. How is the Mad Max world expanding? I don't think the Mad Max world. They just made another one. Yeah, just another movie. And then at the end of the movie when they fall to the ground, they like salute the moon. They salute the moon and Hasselhoff on the moon salutes back. Yeah.

Guys, we have Sharknado bobbleheads here. And if you come out to our San Diego show, we're going to give you some because we have way too many. Thank you, Sci-Fi Network, for showing faith in this quartet that's right now a trio. You know what? Thank you, Sci-Fi Network, for supporting the Americans.

Yes. The Allies. Yes. And no thank you to the producers of this movie who are supporting the Axis powers. Let me tell you about the- The Germans, our enemies. The Die SchützenfilmataZion. Oh! The worst films of all time. No!

And their thing only started in 2013. Oliver Kupf and Peter Rutan. Oh, my gosh. I'm sure they're great guys. We should have a softball game against them. Against the Germans? Yeah, soft and ballin'. We should have all the bad movie podcasts should play softball against each other. By the way, just to talk to you a little bit about, well, I won't get into the behind the scenes. Behind the scenes of what? This movie. Some shady stuff went on. Whoa. Yeah.

Basically, they tried to fire their entire crew because they wanted to go Union. And they did. They fired the crew? Yes. And so they're not Union? They're not Union. Wow. Not great. Not great. Not great. And I guess the asylum people just basically said, hey...

Allegedly? No, this is a statement that they released. Oh, it's a quote? Okay. That they said, they finally reached an agreement and they said, we'll be increasing the amount of chum at craft service and no longer require our employees to sleep without moving. That was their...

Fun way of saying they're not going to go union. Hey, you know what? I think it's a brave, risky choice, and I stand behind it because I want to write number four. As long as they're WGA, I don't give a shit. All right, guys. What a great experience. Can I ask you a question?

Do we do this for Sharknado 4? I genuinely don't know. I don't know. I'm conflicted. Should we tell the audience to vote right now? Let's vote. Yeah. Tweet the hashtag. What were the hashtags for April? April lives, April dies. Okay. So Sharknado HDTGM.

Sharknado yes or Sharknado no? How about this? You just tweet, use our Twitter account, which is HDTGM. How did this get me? Yes. And just say you should hashtag Sharknado yes, Sharknado no. That would be simple. Sharknado yes, Sharknado no. Sharknado four, yes. Sharknado four, no. Well, I think now it's getting complicated. Just Sharknado yes, Sharknado four. Okay. Yes. Sharknado yes, Sharknado four. Hashtag Sharknado yes. Who let the dogs out?

Sharknado, yes. Okay, Hainong Man. So we will let you... Because my whole thing is these are getting too good. I legitimately enjoy them. I feel bad going... It's not the same. It's not the same. It's not the same. Also, text or tweet... H-D-T-T-M. Text or tweet. It's not the same.

Text the show. Text the show. How did this get made? Phone line. Yes. Which is call 1-800-SHARKNATO and text them. Pound one for how did this get made. This is why we are not being allowed to write the sequel. We can't even come up with a hashtag.

But the fate of this series is in your hands. And don't worry. If you vote no, we'll bring Scott back for another trilogy. Yeah, you know, I miss you, guy. As much as I love coming in for the Sharknado. First guest.

First guest. You were the first guest. Oh, well, in the pilot. In the pilot. In the pilot episode. Which we may be releasing sooner or later. Oh, good. As a special treat. As a special treat to our fans. Yeah, that was about old dogs. Yes, which we actually did later on. You did later without me, which is fine because I remember doing the pilot and going, ooh, I was talking too much.

I don't, I remember listening to the pilot and going, uh, we could never do a show that's over an hour. We got to keep it as a tight 30. And, uh, it was, it was pretty long. We, we broke down old dogs in its entirety. So look out for, for that. That is coming. Um,

Guys, it was a pleasure. Sharknado, yes. It was an honor. It was an honor. It's an honor to serve with you. I'm saluting you from the moon. I'm saluting you all. Can I plug that the Comedy Bang Bang Season 3 DVD is now out in stores. What's extra on it?

super long extras. We have tons of deleted scenes, tons of deleted interviews, commentary for every episode. We have a complete... A lot of people go, hey, how is this show filmed? How do you edit it down? We have a complete take of Horatio Sands. A lot of people say that? Oh, a lot of people say, how do you edit the show? Yeah.

So we have a complete, just everything Horatio did so you can see a complete take and see how we whittled it down to the three minutes or whatever. That's really cool. Tons of stuff on it all season three and it's out now. I would definitely get that. Where do you go to get that? I don't know.

I don't give a shit. Amazon? Sure. Amazon. I love a good DVD like that. I feel like people don't do that anymore. I'm excited. We put so much care into it. I'm really proud of it. I love it. I love that. And Charles, Classic Charles, is introduced on this DVD. Oh, wow. You've heard him on the CBB show. This was his first appearance because we recorded Classic Charles back in December. Oh, wow. Wow.

Also check out Wet Hot American Summer, First Day of Camp. I am in that. That's on Netflix right now. Wow. Yeah. Or not right now. The 31st. Yeah, Friday. Excellent. Jason, what do you want to talk about? Oh, I'm not plugging anything. I got nothing. What about The Dictator? Oh, still in The Dictator. Yes, I actually got some confirmation. You haven't erased that yet? I believe it's on Netflix. I don't think they've erased me from it.

But it is like that Marty McFly thing in Back to the Future. I'm fading out. My character is fading out. Yes.

Unless you bring it up in a plug every single week, you will fade out. I will fade out. I will fade out of that movie. And to that end, actually, I'm glad you said that. Please watch Baby Mama. I have almost completely faded out of Baby Mama. You're almost out of there. So just by mentioning it, yes, I am still in Baby Mama. Now you're back in. A big thanks to everybody here at Earwolf. Averill Halley, who pulls all of our clips. Nate Kiley does all of our research. And...

And all of our amazing fans, especially you guys at the Sci-Fi Network for sending us all this cool shit. And Leanna Waldron, who just is killing it all the time on our Facebook page. Follow us on Twitter at HDTGM. All right. Thank you guys so much. We will see you next time. Bye-bye. Goodbye. Bye.

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